What do you think?
Rate this book
Los hijos no tienen que ser perfectos: AMA a Tus Hijos Tal Como Son
Jill Savage y Kathy Koch guiarán a los padres para que puedan apreciar realmente a sus hijos. Les enseñarán a estudiar y a convertirse en expertos en sus hijos, porque no pueden aceptarlos plenamente hasta conocerlos realmente.
Escrito en un tono apasionado, sincero y personal, Jill y Kathy infundirán esperanza y paz a los padres. Estos se sentirán inspirados para aplicar las ideas y tácticas realistas, prácticas y pertinentes que se encuentran en este libro.
El libro trata también el tema de los niños con necesidades especiales.
Jill Savage and Kathy Koch will guide you in truly appreciating your kids. They will teach you how to study and become an expert on your children, because you cannot fully embrace them until you truly know them.
Written in a passionate, candid, and personal tone, the authors will instill within you hope and contentment. You’ll be inspired to apply the practical, realistic, and relevant ideas and tactics Jill and Kathy share.
The special needs of special needs kids are also addressed.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 2014
67 people are currently reading
737 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
March 16, 2014
All though none of us want to admit it, we are all disappointed that we don’t have perfect children. This book really gets at the root of that longing and gives real strategies to raise imperfect human beings.
I was raised in a household where I was expected to be perfect. When I had children, I vowed that I wouldn't put the same pressures on my them., but I have found it difficult to escape that cycle.
Full of examples from real moms, and insights from a psychologist , this book really showed me the “Perfection Infection” that is present in my life. Dr. Kathy and Ms. Savage ask us to not only look at our children, but how we were parented. By coming to grips with my own struggles with perfectionism, I can see how I’m pushing that same behavior onto my children.
This book tackles real issues that we all struggle with: Is it OK to make mistakes, to be different? Are we lovable even if we are not perfect? Most importantly, this book is helping me to find my own identity as a person and as a parent, while helping my children develop healthy identities as well.
I was raised in a household where I was expected to be perfect. When I had children, I vowed that I wouldn't put the same pressures on my them., but I have found it difficult to escape that cycle.
Full of examples from real moms, and insights from a psychologist , this book really showed me the “Perfection Infection” that is present in my life. Dr. Kathy and Ms. Savage ask us to not only look at our children, but how we were parented. By coming to grips with my own struggles with perfectionism, I can see how I’m pushing that same behavior onto my children.
This book tackles real issues that we all struggle with: Is it OK to make mistakes, to be different? Are we lovable even if we are not perfect? Most importantly, this book is helping me to find my own identity as a person and as a parent, while helping my children develop healthy identities as well.
May 10, 2025
I found this book both inspiring and practical. I left with many good practices and exercises to implement in my own home.
I picked it up and then needed to turn my attention to other reads. If you read it straight through it most likely will not take you months to finish!
I picked it up and then needed to turn my attention to other reads. If you read it straight through it most likely will not take you months to finish!
March 12, 2014
This book, No More Perfect Kids was written for me. I swear Jill and Dr. Kathy were looking
into my home, my heart, and my head while they were writing this. I am telling you, they camped outside my door in my yard. — Not really. But this book was written for moms like me in mind. Let me give you an example. It is written in this book about appearances, on page 53, a mom had written the importance she has placed on her personal appearance. She then turned that on to her children. Well, I did that. I grew up with only hand-me downs. We rarely had new-to-us clothing. Not even from Salvation Army. If we did not get it from family, it was from the families of the children my mom babysat. It wasn’t until I made my own money that I bought new. Or bought new-to-me from Salvation Army or the Goodwill. So, being a single mom at 16, I wanted my daughter to be stylish, but, as a single mom, I just could not afford to run to the mall and shop for her clothing, and Kmart at the time was all we had and I was so not going to do that. I learned how to shop for name-brand clothing at the Salvation Army. So, we only wore name-brand. I really watched for stains when we wore them. My children even to this day rarely wear an item of clothing with a stain on them. To me, that is me failing as a mom. I wash and re-wash and stain-treat the stain before they even throw it in the dryer. I don’t want us to look poor and that is what stains tell me. I said all that to say this…
No More Perfect Kids
I want my children to dress as I see them. For my boys, either a plain t-shirt or polo with a nice pair of jeans. In reality. I have one that loves to wear sweats, and another that will wear jeans with a t-shirt that is NOT plain. My daughter I never imagined she would want tattoos, or piercings. I never imagined she would want to wear skull and crossbones with gauges in her ears. Before folks start saying she is in rebellion. No, I don’t believe that she, or they are. That is their style. I have been placing them in “my” style instead of allowing them to be their own person. My husband and I were talking about something this morning that really brought it full-circle to me. I married him wearing earrings, and a dude with tats. You know what, I LOVED his bad boy image then. He got lost in the last few years of being what I want him to be, instead of what he wants to be. Guess what he is wearing. He has both his earnings in. He wears them only on the one side. Does that make him less of a Christian? No, it doesn’t. He is just no longer playing the part in my play, “Ginger’s version of Christianity.” Guess what, my son Adam wants to get an earring. Will he, probably. My daughter is wearing her gauges, still no tats as we are not paying for them. But when she has the funds, I imagine she will get one. And, since I am all for honesty, I will be getting one with her. A matching Mother and Daughter tat. That is who my children are. They are not mini-me’s. They are their own person. Just how God made them to be.
Learning to be an encourager instead of a negative mom is hard for me. Negative is all I have ever been. If Casey or Cody did not make an A on a paper but made a B. Instead of saying GREAT JOB, I said to them, You could do better to make that A. I wasn’t proud of them and they knew it.
Another part of No More Perfect Kids that resonated with me, is found on page 105. The question posed is, “Does my adopted child or stepchild feel less important than my biological children.” I think that is a loaded question. The one thing we did early on in our marriage is that the stepchildren in this marriage are not known as stepchildren. The word “step” was not allowed in our home if it was placed in front of children or kids. Casey, Cody, and Adam are the stepchildren. Casey and Adam are my biological children, Cody is Jamie’s. When we combined our family, Adam was just 13 months old. We knew because he would just grow up calling Jamie daddy since he would be hearing that from Cody. We talked with the children the night before we got married. We told them they could either call us by our given names, Ginger or Jamie depending on the child, or mom and dad. But not both. We did not want mom and dad when all is happy and our given name when they were upset with us. Since Cody was 4, Casey 6 we have been mom and dad. Cody has been “my son” He is not my stepson. Casey has been Jamie’s daughter. Not his stepdaughter. When we introduce them to anyone it is our children, or my son or my daughter. When I married Jamie, I gained a son, and he a daughter and a son. I think it helps that they live with us full time. Cody see’s his biological mother once a year and the fathers of Casey and Adam are not apart of their lives. It was neat to read that in No More Perfect Kids we’re doing the right thing, we went about it the right way. I have failed in many areas, but, this one I got it right! HAHA.
I am learning so much. Ask my children their opinions, asking them what goals they have. Asking my children if there was anything they wanted to change about themselves. Dude…. I love this book!
I guess this is where I can tell you my thoughts on No More Perfect Kids and even who the authors are. Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch are the authors. Beautiful people inside and out. I have to tell you, I love this book. Then I hated it. I hated reading what I was doing wrong to my children. But, then I quickly loved it. Especially this week. This has been the longest week in my life. This book gives you the tools and idea’s how to react to certain things that come up. Help you realize that your children are a gift from God. Not, forcing them into what we want them to be. Because ya’ll that will fail. I give this book 5/5 stars. Maybe 6 out of 5. But since most rating systems only let you go to 5, I have to stop it at 5. I would so give this more.
into my home, my heart, and my head while they were writing this. I am telling you, they camped outside my door in my yard. — Not really. But this book was written for moms like me in mind. Let me give you an example. It is written in this book about appearances, on page 53, a mom had written the importance she has placed on her personal appearance. She then turned that on to her children. Well, I did that. I grew up with only hand-me downs. We rarely had new-to-us clothing. Not even from Salvation Army. If we did not get it from family, it was from the families of the children my mom babysat. It wasn’t until I made my own money that I bought new. Or bought new-to-me from Salvation Army or the Goodwill. So, being a single mom at 16, I wanted my daughter to be stylish, but, as a single mom, I just could not afford to run to the mall and shop for her clothing, and Kmart at the time was all we had and I was so not going to do that. I learned how to shop for name-brand clothing at the Salvation Army. So, we only wore name-brand. I really watched for stains when we wore them. My children even to this day rarely wear an item of clothing with a stain on them. To me, that is me failing as a mom. I wash and re-wash and stain-treat the stain before they even throw it in the dryer. I don’t want us to look poor and that is what stains tell me. I said all that to say this…
No More Perfect Kids
I want my children to dress as I see them. For my boys, either a plain t-shirt or polo with a nice pair of jeans. In reality. I have one that loves to wear sweats, and another that will wear jeans with a t-shirt that is NOT plain. My daughter I never imagined she would want tattoos, or piercings. I never imagined she would want to wear skull and crossbones with gauges in her ears. Before folks start saying she is in rebellion. No, I don’t believe that she, or they are. That is their style. I have been placing them in “my” style instead of allowing them to be their own person. My husband and I were talking about something this morning that really brought it full-circle to me. I married him wearing earrings, and a dude with tats. You know what, I LOVED his bad boy image then. He got lost in the last few years of being what I want him to be, instead of what he wants to be. Guess what he is wearing. He has both his earnings in. He wears them only on the one side. Does that make him less of a Christian? No, it doesn’t. He is just no longer playing the part in my play, “Ginger’s version of Christianity.” Guess what, my son Adam wants to get an earring. Will he, probably. My daughter is wearing her gauges, still no tats as we are not paying for them. But when she has the funds, I imagine she will get one. And, since I am all for honesty, I will be getting one with her. A matching Mother and Daughter tat. That is who my children are. They are not mini-me’s. They are their own person. Just how God made them to be.
Learning to be an encourager instead of a negative mom is hard for me. Negative is all I have ever been. If Casey or Cody did not make an A on a paper but made a B. Instead of saying GREAT JOB, I said to them, You could do better to make that A. I wasn’t proud of them and they knew it.
Another part of No More Perfect Kids that resonated with me, is found on page 105. The question posed is, “Does my adopted child or stepchild feel less important than my biological children.” I think that is a loaded question. The one thing we did early on in our marriage is that the stepchildren in this marriage are not known as stepchildren. The word “step” was not allowed in our home if it was placed in front of children or kids. Casey, Cody, and Adam are the stepchildren. Casey and Adam are my biological children, Cody is Jamie’s. When we combined our family, Adam was just 13 months old. We knew because he would just grow up calling Jamie daddy since he would be hearing that from Cody. We talked with the children the night before we got married. We told them they could either call us by our given names, Ginger or Jamie depending on the child, or mom and dad. But not both. We did not want mom and dad when all is happy and our given name when they were upset with us. Since Cody was 4, Casey 6 we have been mom and dad. Cody has been “my son” He is not my stepson. Casey has been Jamie’s daughter. Not his stepdaughter. When we introduce them to anyone it is our children, or my son or my daughter. When I married Jamie, I gained a son, and he a daughter and a son. I think it helps that they live with us full time. Cody see’s his biological mother once a year and the fathers of Casey and Adam are not apart of their lives. It was neat to read that in No More Perfect Kids we’re doing the right thing, we went about it the right way. I have failed in many areas, but, this one I got it right! HAHA.
I am learning so much. Ask my children their opinions, asking them what goals they have. Asking my children if there was anything they wanted to change about themselves. Dude…. I love this book!
I guess this is where I can tell you my thoughts on No More Perfect Kids and even who the authors are. Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch are the authors. Beautiful people inside and out. I have to tell you, I love this book. Then I hated it. I hated reading what I was doing wrong to my children. But, then I quickly loved it. Especially this week. This has been the longest week in my life. This book gives you the tools and idea’s how to react to certain things that come up. Help you realize that your children are a gift from God. Not, forcing them into what we want them to be. Because ya’ll that will fail. I give this book 5/5 stars. Maybe 6 out of 5. But since most rating systems only let you go to 5, I have to stop it at 5. I would so give this more.
February 18, 2014
“Perfection Infection Collides with Parenting” in Jill Savage and Kathy Koch’s No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are. The book takes parents on a journey of discovery—from how the “perfection infection” affects their parenting to opening their eyes to unreal expectations—and helping parents to identify and celebrate the uniqueness of their children.
From the beginning of the book to the end, I knew God was speaking directly to me through the authors. Influenced by my own upbringing, I tend toward the “perfection infection,” and God has been working in me and transforming me. This book has proven to be another step in that journey for me.
In No More Perfect Kids, Savage and Koch empower parents to better answer for their children those all-important identity questions, dedicating a chapter to each question:
• Do You Like Me?
• Am I Important to You?
• Is it Okay I’m Unique?
• Who Am I?
• Am I a Failure?
• What’s My Purpose?
• Will you help me change?
I found the chapter two, “The Perfection Infection Collides with Parenting,” to be particularly helpful, giving 10 dangers of “perfection infection parenting.” The authors described the difference between perfection and excellence, a distinction that offered an encouraging, refreshing and freeing new perspective to this recovering perfectionist! But the authors don’t stop with the dangers. They go on to share the cure for the “perfection infection,” and then they give even more specific antidotes—compassion, perception, acceptance, and love—and how to put them into practice.
One of my favorite parts of the whole book (and there were many), was the “parenting love audit” at the end of chapter two. Taken directly from God’s way of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the audit asks parents specific questions related to each characteristic of love. Here are just two examples:
• “Love is patient. Am I patient with my child who is so different from me?”
• “Love is kind. Am I kind when it takes my child twice the amount of time to do something than I think it should?”
Ouch! The audit gave me specific ways to begin applying these practical principles taken directly from God’s Word—principles guaranteed to transform me and my parenting.
I could go on and on about each chapter, because there are SO MANY great parts and so many great quotes. This is the most practical book I’ve ever read. At the end of most chapters, Savage and Koch include practical ways to put into practice the principles they offer with “Apply the Antidotes.” And, unlike most books, No More Perfect Kids includes a whole slew of appendices offering even more practical ways to transform your parenting:
• Family Time Activities
• Feeling Words
• Age-Appropriate Tasks for Children
• How to Pray for Your Child
• Developmental Age-Appropriate Characteristics
• Character Qualities to Develop in Your Children
• Recommended Reading for Perfectly Imperfect Kids
In short, I can’t say enough about No More Perfect Kids. Many of us know we’re victims of the “perfection infection” and we don’t like it, but we’re at a loss for how to get out of the rut. Savage and Koch guide readers to a way out in this practical, biblically-based book. Now it’s up to us readers to do the hard work and put the principles into practice! The great thing is that the authors work hard to make this book as practical as possible so it’s not just head knowledge, but something we can actually put into practice.
No More Perfect Kids, published by Moody Publishers, will be available March 1, 2014, through the publishers website, major bookstores, and online retailers. You can also visit the publisher’s book page at www.moodypublishers.com and grab a free leader’s guide to use in a small group environment.
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging moms. She is the author of six books including Real Moms...Real Jesus, Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, andIs There Really Sex After Kids? Featured in Focus on the Family, Today's Christian Woman magazine, and Family Life Today, Jill is the founder and Executive Director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed to encourage, educate, and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children and make their home in Normal, Illinois. Learn more about Jill Savage and Hearts at Home at www.heartsathome.org.
Kathy Koch is the Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc., based in Fort Worth, Texas. She earned three degrees from Purdue University, including a Ph.D. in Reading and Educational Psychology. Kathy is author ofHow Am I Smart and Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness, and is a regular contributor to three international magazines. Kathy lives in Fort Worth, Texas. Find out more about Kathy Koch and her ministry by visiting www.celebratekids.com.
* Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for this review. However, the opinions expressed in my review are my own.
From the beginning of the book to the end, I knew God was speaking directly to me through the authors. Influenced by my own upbringing, I tend toward the “perfection infection,” and God has been working in me and transforming me. This book has proven to be another step in that journey for me.
In No More Perfect Kids, Savage and Koch empower parents to better answer for their children those all-important identity questions, dedicating a chapter to each question:
• Do You Like Me?
• Am I Important to You?
• Is it Okay I’m Unique?
• Who Am I?
• Am I a Failure?
• What’s My Purpose?
• Will you help me change?
I found the chapter two, “The Perfection Infection Collides with Parenting,” to be particularly helpful, giving 10 dangers of “perfection infection parenting.” The authors described the difference between perfection and excellence, a distinction that offered an encouraging, refreshing and freeing new perspective to this recovering perfectionist! But the authors don’t stop with the dangers. They go on to share the cure for the “perfection infection,” and then they give even more specific antidotes—compassion, perception, acceptance, and love—and how to put them into practice.
One of my favorite parts of the whole book (and there were many), was the “parenting love audit” at the end of chapter two. Taken directly from God’s way of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the audit asks parents specific questions related to each characteristic of love. Here are just two examples:
• “Love is patient. Am I patient with my child who is so different from me?”
• “Love is kind. Am I kind when it takes my child twice the amount of time to do something than I think it should?”
Ouch! The audit gave me specific ways to begin applying these practical principles taken directly from God’s Word—principles guaranteed to transform me and my parenting.
I could go on and on about each chapter, because there are SO MANY great parts and so many great quotes. This is the most practical book I’ve ever read. At the end of most chapters, Savage and Koch include practical ways to put into practice the principles they offer with “Apply the Antidotes.” And, unlike most books, No More Perfect Kids includes a whole slew of appendices offering even more practical ways to transform your parenting:
• Family Time Activities
• Feeling Words
• Age-Appropriate Tasks for Children
• How to Pray for Your Child
• Developmental Age-Appropriate Characteristics
• Character Qualities to Develop in Your Children
• Recommended Reading for Perfectly Imperfect Kids
In short, I can’t say enough about No More Perfect Kids. Many of us know we’re victims of the “perfection infection” and we don’t like it, but we’re at a loss for how to get out of the rut. Savage and Koch guide readers to a way out in this practical, biblically-based book. Now it’s up to us readers to do the hard work and put the principles into practice! The great thing is that the authors work hard to make this book as practical as possible so it’s not just head knowledge, but something we can actually put into practice.
No More Perfect Kids, published by Moody Publishers, will be available March 1, 2014, through the publishers website, major bookstores, and online retailers. You can also visit the publisher’s book page at www.moodypublishers.com and grab a free leader’s guide to use in a small group environment.
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging moms. She is the author of six books including Real Moms...Real Jesus, Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, andIs There Really Sex After Kids? Featured in Focus on the Family, Today's Christian Woman magazine, and Family Life Today, Jill is the founder and Executive Director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed to encourage, educate, and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children and make their home in Normal, Illinois. Learn more about Jill Savage and Hearts at Home at www.heartsathome.org.
Kathy Koch is the Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc., based in Fort Worth, Texas. She earned three degrees from Purdue University, including a Ph.D. in Reading and Educational Psychology. Kathy is author ofHow Am I Smart and Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness, and is a regular contributor to three international magazines. Kathy lives in Fort Worth, Texas. Find out more about Kathy Koch and her ministry by visiting www.celebratekids.com.
* Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for this review. However, the opinions expressed in my review are my own.
April 22, 2014
I knew from page one that No More Perfect Kids was going to be more than just a good read; it had the potential to be life changing. When I kept reading about how we feel the need to be perfect moms and that things like Facebook and Pinterest contribute to our feelings of failure, I knew this was the book for me at this stage in my parenting.
Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm the first to admit I make plenty of mistakes. Just like anything else, there are peaks and valleys and I've definitely been in a valley lately. Having a new baby has been amazing and all the beautiful, wonderful things that it's supposed to be. However, it's also changed the dynamic of the relationships between me and my older children. I find myself guilty a lot of the things discussed in the book, especially lately. But that's the beauty of books like this and of parenting itself. Tomorrow is another day. You can always begin again.
The first thing that struck a cord with me is accepting my kids for who they are, not who I want them to be. Kids don't always turn out the way we had hoped or dreamed. One mom may be a sports fanatic whose son prefers video games and being indoors. Another may have hoped for a daughter into pink frilly dresses who prefers jeans and tennis shoes. The mistakes begin when we try to force our expectations and desires onto them instead of accepting them for who they are.
I have been guilty of this with my son. I have tried and tried to find a sport he enjoys. We have done it all. I keep thinking the next one will be "the one." And while there's nothing wrong with trying them all to find what he likes and is good at, there is something wrong with not accepting when he doesn't like them. My son is the kid who'd rather be inside playing video games or spending time alone. The alone part I can relate to. I just always pictured myself a soccer mom. All my friends kids are into sports and they are off at games on Saturday morning. That's where I envisioned I would be as well. It does disappoint me but I have to make sure that doesn't transition into disappointment in Reed.
I know he feels rejected when I show him my disappointment. He has even said to me before "you don't like me." That is pure rejection and was heartbreaking but also eye opening for me to hear.
The other thing that really hit home was making them feel important. I do try to compliment my kids and point out when they do something right and not just when they are wrong. But the paying attention part to show them they're important I'm not so great at. In fact, I was guilty of some of the exact examples she gave:
Playing on my smart phone with one hand while I push my daughter on the swing with the other
Not stopping what I'm doing on the computer and only half listening without eye contact when my child is talking to me
Not really watching or giving my undivided attention when they want to show me something
OUCH! Guilty as charged. All of these things say "you aren't important enough to get my undivided attention." I think at some level I knew this to be true but it's hard to read how much it can affect our kids.
I could go on and on about how much I've learned from this book and grown as a parent. I have absolutely soaked it up and immediately changed many of the things I was doing because it was like a wake up call for me.
My favorite part of each chapter was the very end where personal stories were told about how the things discussed in the chapter affected one person in their parenting. They really bring it all home and make it personal and relatable as well as an encouragement to read.
No More Perfect Kids was written for both Moms and Dads. I think every parent out there should have a copy! I plan on reading this over and over again because I think it's one of those books you get something different from every time. It would make a perfect gift for any mother out there. I guarantee it will be as big a blessing to them as it has been to me.
Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm the first to admit I make plenty of mistakes. Just like anything else, there are peaks and valleys and I've definitely been in a valley lately. Having a new baby has been amazing and all the beautiful, wonderful things that it's supposed to be. However, it's also changed the dynamic of the relationships between me and my older children. I find myself guilty a lot of the things discussed in the book, especially lately. But that's the beauty of books like this and of parenting itself. Tomorrow is another day. You can always begin again.
The first thing that struck a cord with me is accepting my kids for who they are, not who I want them to be. Kids don't always turn out the way we had hoped or dreamed. One mom may be a sports fanatic whose son prefers video games and being indoors. Another may have hoped for a daughter into pink frilly dresses who prefers jeans and tennis shoes. The mistakes begin when we try to force our expectations and desires onto them instead of accepting them for who they are.
I have been guilty of this with my son. I have tried and tried to find a sport he enjoys. We have done it all. I keep thinking the next one will be "the one." And while there's nothing wrong with trying them all to find what he likes and is good at, there is something wrong with not accepting when he doesn't like them. My son is the kid who'd rather be inside playing video games or spending time alone. The alone part I can relate to. I just always pictured myself a soccer mom. All my friends kids are into sports and they are off at games on Saturday morning. That's where I envisioned I would be as well. It does disappoint me but I have to make sure that doesn't transition into disappointment in Reed.
I know he feels rejected when I show him my disappointment. He has even said to me before "you don't like me." That is pure rejection and was heartbreaking but also eye opening for me to hear.
The other thing that really hit home was making them feel important. I do try to compliment my kids and point out when they do something right and not just when they are wrong. But the paying attention part to show them they're important I'm not so great at. In fact, I was guilty of some of the exact examples she gave:
Playing on my smart phone with one hand while I push my daughter on the swing with the other
Not stopping what I'm doing on the computer and only half listening without eye contact when my child is talking to me
Not really watching or giving my undivided attention when they want to show me something
OUCH! Guilty as charged. All of these things say "you aren't important enough to get my undivided attention." I think at some level I knew this to be true but it's hard to read how much it can affect our kids.
I could go on and on about how much I've learned from this book and grown as a parent. I have absolutely soaked it up and immediately changed many of the things I was doing because it was like a wake up call for me.
My favorite part of each chapter was the very end where personal stories were told about how the things discussed in the chapter affected one person in their parenting. They really bring it all home and make it personal and relatable as well as an encouragement to read.
No More Perfect Kids was written for both Moms and Dads. I think every parent out there should have a copy! I plan on reading this over and over again because I think it's one of those books you get something different from every time. It would make a perfect gift for any mother out there. I guarantee it will be as big a blessing to them as it has been to me.
April 7, 2015
I had the pleasure of reading another of Dr. Koch’s books, titled How Am I Smart?, and when I met Dr. Koch at the homeschool convention last year, she gave me No More Perfect Kids that she co-authored with Jill Savage. Yes, it’s taken me almost a year to read and review this book and I apologize to both authors for that, it has been a crazy year. One of the things I’m guilty of as a mom is wanting my children to be who I think they should be, aren’t we all? I want them to do this or that or make them do things they don’t want to do instead of listening and learning who they are as individuals, uniquely created by the Lord. In their book Savage and Koch, want to teach moms and dad how to “love your kids for who they are”, often times our children feel unloved and unwanted and devalued because we aren’t learning who they are and if we don’t take the time to do that we can’t fully embrace them and give them the love they need.
Using questions that children often ask such as:
“Do You Like Me?”
“Am I Important to You?”
“Is It Okay I’m Unique?”
“Who Am I?”
“Am I A Failure?”
“What’s My Purpose?”
“Will You Help Me Change?”
The authors use these questions and build on them from a Christian and Biblical worldview, which is what makes this book so good, it’s not based on man’s word but on God’s Word. I think the chapter that resonated with me the most is the, “Am I A Failure?”, I think most of us at one time or another struggle with feeling like a failure either in the eyes of our parents or in the eyes of the Lord. The authors address that as parents we may hear or ask some things like, I think I might be gay, I’m pregnant, your child has dyslexia (that one is mine), or what are those cuts on your arms? They reiterate that as parents we are not failures, our children are not failures and our God is bigger than any of these and more – He’s got this. It is how we deal with it. The authors gives parents the tools to use to help them overcome the toxic idea that our children have to be what we want them to be, and let them be the people that God created them to be, using Scripture.
I know I’m going to re-read this book and really begin to implement some of the ideas in our house – I’ve had a hard time in trying to be the perfect Christian parent and trying to get my children to be who I want them to be instead of the creative, active and imaginative children they are. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch have written a fantastic book, it’s not all the answers, even the authors admit they’ve messed up and sometimes still do and through the real life stories of other mom’s we can see how our human-ness gets in the way and until we let God do His job we’re going to mess up. Whether you’re a mom of one or a mom of nine or twenty this book has a lot of helpful information in it to get you loving your children for who they are.
**I was provided a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
March 12, 2014
No More Perfect Kids - Love your kids for who they are is a book written for both moms and dads and I have to say has changed and challenged me as a parent. God has given us the honor to parent our children and has given each of those children unique gifts and talents. It is our role as parents to help discover and develop those abilities and not live out our own lives through our kids.
This book is designed to help parents become successful parents, not perfect parents. Jill describes how we all have imagined what our children will be, look like and do, even before they are born and sometimes we have issues knowing our real children because they aren't like what we had imagined they would be. "When we can identify the unique design of each of our children, resisting the urge to compare them to ourselves, their siblings, or other children, we set them free to be all they are created to be" - wow, what Jill said smacked me right in the face - so very true, yet so hard to do!
The nine chapters in the book give examples, topics, stories and antidotes to challenge the reader to evaluate their current parenting and gives us hope and tools to help us become better parents. There are SO many topics covered in this book that spoke right to me heart - my book is highlighted, underlined and starred to refer back to different areas I need to work on and implement into my parenting.
NMPK was written to challenge and encourage us as parents, but unlike so many other parenting books, I never felt defeated or discouraged like I was doing everything wrong, but rather it encouraged me and gave practical solutions to everyday issues. Dr. Kathy and Jill take a great deal of time describing the Perfection Infection and give us ways to combat it and antidotes to help keep the Perfection Infection out of parenting, help us resist the urge to compare our kids to others, and help embrace who our kids really are. I'm not going to tell you what the Perfection Infection is, but I encourage you to read the book to find out - you will not be disappointed!
In addition to NMPK, there is NMPK Plus at the end of the book which includes amazing resources including:
Character Qualities to Develop in your children
Scriptural Blessings to pray for your children
Recommended reading for perfectly imperfect kids
and...A Leader's guide with questions to guide a book study!
NMPK will change and challenge and encourage you as a parent. If you liked NMPM you'll LOVE NMPK!
This book is designed to help parents become successful parents, not perfect parents. Jill describes how we all have imagined what our children will be, look like and do, even before they are born and sometimes we have issues knowing our real children because they aren't like what we had imagined they would be. "When we can identify the unique design of each of our children, resisting the urge to compare them to ourselves, their siblings, or other children, we set them free to be all they are created to be" - wow, what Jill said smacked me right in the face - so very true, yet so hard to do!
The nine chapters in the book give examples, topics, stories and antidotes to challenge the reader to evaluate their current parenting and gives us hope and tools to help us become better parents. There are SO many topics covered in this book that spoke right to me heart - my book is highlighted, underlined and starred to refer back to different areas I need to work on and implement into my parenting.
NMPK was written to challenge and encourage us as parents, but unlike so many other parenting books, I never felt defeated or discouraged like I was doing everything wrong, but rather it encouraged me and gave practical solutions to everyday issues. Dr. Kathy and Jill take a great deal of time describing the Perfection Infection and give us ways to combat it and antidotes to help keep the Perfection Infection out of parenting, help us resist the urge to compare our kids to others, and help embrace who our kids really are. I'm not going to tell you what the Perfection Infection is, but I encourage you to read the book to find out - you will not be disappointed!
In addition to NMPK, there is NMPK Plus at the end of the book which includes amazing resources including:
Character Qualities to Develop in your children
Scriptural Blessings to pray for your children
Recommended reading for perfectly imperfect kids
and...A Leader's guide with questions to guide a book study!
NMPK will change and challenge and encourage you as a parent. If you liked NMPM you'll LOVE NMPK!
January 27, 2014
SUMMARY:
Jill Savage has an amazing talent. Her words help to celebrate motherhood, and each of her book chapters finds a way to relate to a diverse group of mothering situations and personalities ("Real Moms, Real Jesus" has been a favorite of mine). This book is no exception. Plus, she adds the power of Dr. Koch's amazing insights. I have been a part of one of Dr. Koch's lectures, and it was eye opening. I could not take notes fast enough!
This book piggy backs with "No More Perfect Moms" that Jill Savage wrote previous. They read together harmoniously. And I'm just about done with "Moms."
THE BOOK:
This book is amazing not only in what the chapters relate but also because of the appendices that are included at the end. There is so much valuable information in an easy to find spot. I especially love the prayers adapted from Bible verses. This really helps to develop my confidence in praying meaningfully for my children. Churches and Christian resources preach about the power of prayer, but I have rarely been taught new prayers tailored to the needs of my children. What a gift!
Each chapter details different aspects of the realities our kids are growing up within, especially social media like Facebook. Technology has been a convenience for both adults and kids, but these conveniences affect kids in a different way. I think this particular chapter will really grab your heart. And this is only one small, insightful portion Savage and Koch touch upon.
REACTION:
I felt changed in a positive way after reading this book. Its not just words. There are clear pictures given through examples and exercises that really dig deep. It doesn't just point to truths but opens your heart to them as well. Mrs. Savage and Dr. Koch brilliantly use their own "antidotes" (to counter the Perfection Infection) during the chapters to illustrate how these ideas and goals can be set in motion in YOUR life. A must read for moms. Feeling stressed? Alone? Like everyone is judging you? Thankfully, none of us are alone in any of these things! Pick up this book to discover these many ways we can all support each other and how it can build your own confidence.
*I received an advance Kindle edition copy of this book.*
Jill Savage has an amazing talent. Her words help to celebrate motherhood, and each of her book chapters finds a way to relate to a diverse group of mothering situations and personalities ("Real Moms, Real Jesus" has been a favorite of mine). This book is no exception. Plus, she adds the power of Dr. Koch's amazing insights. I have been a part of one of Dr. Koch's lectures, and it was eye opening. I could not take notes fast enough!
This book piggy backs with "No More Perfect Moms" that Jill Savage wrote previous. They read together harmoniously. And I'm just about done with "Moms."
THE BOOK:
This book is amazing not only in what the chapters relate but also because of the appendices that are included at the end. There is so much valuable information in an easy to find spot. I especially love the prayers adapted from Bible verses. This really helps to develop my confidence in praying meaningfully for my children. Churches and Christian resources preach about the power of prayer, but I have rarely been taught new prayers tailored to the needs of my children. What a gift!
Each chapter details different aspects of the realities our kids are growing up within, especially social media like Facebook. Technology has been a convenience for both adults and kids, but these conveniences affect kids in a different way. I think this particular chapter will really grab your heart. And this is only one small, insightful portion Savage and Koch touch upon.
REACTION:
I felt changed in a positive way after reading this book. Its not just words. There are clear pictures given through examples and exercises that really dig deep. It doesn't just point to truths but opens your heart to them as well. Mrs. Savage and Dr. Koch brilliantly use their own "antidotes" (to counter the Perfection Infection) during the chapters to illustrate how these ideas and goals can be set in motion in YOUR life. A must read for moms. Feeling stressed? Alone? Like everyone is judging you? Thankfully, none of us are alone in any of these things! Pick up this book to discover these many ways we can all support each other and how it can build your own confidence.
*I received an advance Kindle edition copy of this book.*
April 23, 2014
Do you ever struggle with expectations for your kids? Are you looking to your kids to fulfill dreams in your own heart? Do you struggle with being a perfectionist? Chances are you may not even realize some of the expectations you have put on your children. I know I didn't before picking up this book. Social media, listening too closely to the voices of others, and our own misconceptions can stifle the growth of our children into who God created them to become.
Most moms struggle with the gap between the imagined and the "real" child. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch attempt to teach moms to embrace who your children are rather than who you wish they were. Each chapter includes stories from real moms just like us who are learning and growing from their mistakes in the motherhood journey.
How do we encourage our children when they do make mistakes? Savage and Koch offer practical ideas for offering grace to our children and showing them that they are not defined by their worst moments (a lesson perhaps most moms need to learn as well).
After applying this loving acceptance, we can learn to help them with the process of change to live out all that they are in Christ.
No More Perfect Kids concludes with an extensive appendix section including: age-appropriate tasks for your children of all ages, Bible verse prayers, a dictionary of character qualities you might be attempting to develop in your children, scriptural blessings you can pray over your children, and a children's reading list with character building books for all ages. There is also a leader's guide with questions. These questions are excellent reflection questions to expand on the book.
Practical, engaging, and true to the everyday experience of moms, No More Perfect Kids helped me to realize the expectations I had unwittingly put on my children and showed me the reality of embracing the beauty and difficulties of parenting. It helped me see how Christ is using my children to mold and shape me as well as them. Highly recommended for all moms.
Most moms struggle with the gap between the imagined and the "real" child. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch attempt to teach moms to embrace who your children are rather than who you wish they were. Each chapter includes stories from real moms just like us who are learning and growing from their mistakes in the motherhood journey.
How do we encourage our children when they do make mistakes? Savage and Koch offer practical ideas for offering grace to our children and showing them that they are not defined by their worst moments (a lesson perhaps most moms need to learn as well).
After applying this loving acceptance, we can learn to help them with the process of change to live out all that they are in Christ.
No More Perfect Kids concludes with an extensive appendix section including: age-appropriate tasks for your children of all ages, Bible verse prayers, a dictionary of character qualities you might be attempting to develop in your children, scriptural blessings you can pray over your children, and a children's reading list with character building books for all ages. There is also a leader's guide with questions. These questions are excellent reflection questions to expand on the book.
Practical, engaging, and true to the everyday experience of moms, No More Perfect Kids helped me to realize the expectations I had unwittingly put on my children and showed me the reality of embracing the beauty and difficulties of parenting. It helped me see how Christ is using my children to mold and shape me as well as them. Highly recommended for all moms.
March 9, 2014
As the mother of 10 grown children I can without hesitation say that this book would have made such a difference in how we raised our family. I floundered around in the early years of parenting and it's a wonder my older kids turned out as great as they did. I was the worst kind of helicopter parent, expecting my children to live up to my expectations of perfection. The stress level in our family was incredible. I wish someone would have handed me this book the day I took my first child home from the hospital.
Jill Savage of Hearts At Home and Kathy Koch,PhD of Celebrate Kids, Inc. have combined forces to write the words that every parent needs to hear. It deals with all the questions that can arise in a child's life from "Do you like me?" to "Am I important to you?" to "Will you help me change?". Their Godly approach to child rearing is much needed in this day of parentless parenting. The sections on allowing children to fail and curbing technology in our homes are so relevant. Jill and Kathy don't just write words on a page. They offer insight from their own lives along with the experiences of other moms who have conquered the need for perfect kids.
One line stood out to me above all others. "Children can feel like projects their parents are trying to finish or problems they're trying to solve--instead of children in the process of becoming." Sadly this is so true of many parents, myself included. Even with my kids grown and gone, I was able to see ways to change the way I talk to them now.
The book gives you realistic applications to use in everyday life to overcome the Perfection Infection. These steps, along with age appropriate tasks, character qualities to help your children develop, and book suggestions for kids to read will help them become everything God intended them to be. There are scripture verses to pray over your children. It even offers a 9 week study guide for parenting groups, mom groups, or anyone raising children.
Jill Savage of Hearts At Home and Kathy Koch,PhD of Celebrate Kids, Inc. have combined forces to write the words that every parent needs to hear. It deals with all the questions that can arise in a child's life from "Do you like me?" to "Am I important to you?" to "Will you help me change?". Their Godly approach to child rearing is much needed in this day of parentless parenting. The sections on allowing children to fail and curbing technology in our homes are so relevant. Jill and Kathy don't just write words on a page. They offer insight from their own lives along with the experiences of other moms who have conquered the need for perfect kids.
One line stood out to me above all others. "Children can feel like projects their parents are trying to finish or problems they're trying to solve--instead of children in the process of becoming." Sadly this is so true of many parents, myself included. Even with my kids grown and gone, I was able to see ways to change the way I talk to them now.
The book gives you realistic applications to use in everyday life to overcome the Perfection Infection. These steps, along with age appropriate tasks, character qualities to help your children develop, and book suggestions for kids to read will help them become everything God intended them to be. There are scripture verses to pray over your children. It even offers a 9 week study guide for parenting groups, mom groups, or anyone raising children.
March 3, 2014
Do you struggle with perfection? Do you set too high of standards personally or have hopes, dreams or expectations for your kids (self or husband) that they may struggle to meet? I think every one of us lack contentment with others or even yourself, and not being content steals our joy! As believers, we are made for joy, created and formed by an amazing God for more. This book helps us think through and choose to live with excellence as the goal, instead of perfection. (and Jill and Dr. Kathy make it a step by step simple formula that I can't mess up.)
As a teacher, this book is full of the concepts I recognize as best practice. It breaks down learning theory, styles and brain based concepts into easy concepts, with real life stories/examples. It teaches us what I've read and studied about reaching all kids where they are at for over 20 years. All in one book, and the authors added resources at the end to further equip us, as well as a website nomoreperfect.com to enhance the book with ideas for families and other resources.
As a parent, it's freeing to process how what we know about people, can help us be the best parents. And for me, it's just as needed to rethink, my own broken identity, goals, and ideals. I'll be blogging more about all the wonderful tidbits throughout the book. (as well as a network of bloggers) So google us if you want to more details, but simple and fast reviews are what I prefer at amazon. I was asked to review this book but I was not required to give a favorable review, and really expected it wouldn't expand much on Jill's first book, but I am so thankful I read it. I have found myself sharing these concepts over and over since I started it. I love the story tell and bulleted list style that makes the book easy to grasp and apply.
I'll be reviewing at my blog with more detail... www.whisperingtheword.blogspot.com
As a teacher, this book is full of the concepts I recognize as best practice. It breaks down learning theory, styles and brain based concepts into easy concepts, with real life stories/examples. It teaches us what I've read and studied about reaching all kids where they are at for over 20 years. All in one book, and the authors added resources at the end to further equip us, as well as a website nomoreperfect.com to enhance the book with ideas for families and other resources.
As a parent, it's freeing to process how what we know about people, can help us be the best parents. And for me, it's just as needed to rethink, my own broken identity, goals, and ideals. I'll be blogging more about all the wonderful tidbits throughout the book. (as well as a network of bloggers) So google us if you want to more details, but simple and fast reviews are what I prefer at amazon. I was asked to review this book but I was not required to give a favorable review, and really expected it wouldn't expand much on Jill's first book, but I am so thankful I read it. I have found myself sharing these concepts over and over since I started it. I love the story tell and bulleted list style that makes the book easy to grasp and apply.
I'll be reviewing at my blog with more detail... www.whisperingtheword.blogspot.com
March 7, 2014
The Follow up to No More Perfect Moms, which is easily my favorite book to recommend to any and every mom! I was lucky enough to be part of the launch team for this book, No More Perfect Kids but the opinions below are all mine!
As a mom of four kids I know that parenting is the biggest challenge and yet most rewarding thing I have done in my life. Unfortunately I find that I have been infected by the perfection infection. The perfection infection comes from comparing my life, kids or myself to someone else, causing my expectations to rise. When those expectations are not met, look out world! Thankfully, Jill Savage and Kathy Koch teamed up to write this book, and it is just what we need to battle that nasty infection!
First off, I love that this is a parenting book and a book that my husband and I can read together!
Second, this book is amazing because there are real life stories of perfection infection and change. After reading and understanding different aspects of the infection in our life, we are then given the antidotes at the end of each chapter. We learn the ten dangers of perfection infection parenting, the difference between perfection and excellence, accepting ourselves and our past, why kids make mistakes, how to encourage our kids and help them find their purpose, helping our kids set appropriate goals and strategies for making change easier. There is such great content in this book that I could go on and on!
I’m re-reading this book with my husband and definitely taking my time to absorb it all. Having children ranging from 13 to 4, I’m realizing it’s not too late to change my parenting. This is one book that I feel is not just changing outward behavior but changing deep down inside, and it’s not my kids but me who needs to do the changing. I’m infected and I’ve found the antidote, No More Perfect Kids!
As a mom of four kids I know that parenting is the biggest challenge and yet most rewarding thing I have done in my life. Unfortunately I find that I have been infected by the perfection infection. The perfection infection comes from comparing my life, kids or myself to someone else, causing my expectations to rise. When those expectations are not met, look out world! Thankfully, Jill Savage and Kathy Koch teamed up to write this book, and it is just what we need to battle that nasty infection!
First off, I love that this is a parenting book and a book that my husband and I can read together!
Second, this book is amazing because there are real life stories of perfection infection and change. After reading and understanding different aspects of the infection in our life, we are then given the antidotes at the end of each chapter. We learn the ten dangers of perfection infection parenting, the difference between perfection and excellence, accepting ourselves and our past, why kids make mistakes, how to encourage our kids and help them find their purpose, helping our kids set appropriate goals and strategies for making change easier. There is such great content in this book that I could go on and on!
I’m re-reading this book with my husband and definitely taking my time to absorb it all. Having children ranging from 13 to 4, I’m realizing it’s not too late to change my parenting. This is one book that I feel is not just changing outward behavior but changing deep down inside, and it’s not my kids but me who needs to do the changing. I’m infected and I’ve found the antidote, No More Perfect Kids!
March 13, 2014
This book is a great reminder that we need to love our kids for who they are, not what we want them to be. We need to stop expecting perfection from ourselves as parents, or from our children. By doing so, we are not allowing anyone to live up to their full potential. God has a plan for all of us. Sometimes, we get in the way of His plans by trying to be something other than who/what he intended for us. The same is true for our children.
We all have dreams for our children, we sometimes put pressure on them to live up to those dreams without taking into consideration (or appreciation of) who they really are. This can cause children to question many aspects of their lives and who they are. Some questions we or they may ask, make up several titles of the chapters in this book:
* Do You Like Me?
* Am I Important to You?
* Is It Okay I'm Unique?
* Who Am I?
* Am I a Failure?
* What's My Purpose?
* Will You Help Me Change?
Each of these questions (and many others) is discussed, and an "antidote" to the problem in question is suggested. It helps the reader understand him/herself better as a parent, and to understand their children in a new way.
The end of the book has many great resources for parents, including:
* Age appropriate activities and chores for children
* How to pray for your children using Bible verses
* Character qualities to develop in your children
* Recommended reading for perfectly imperfect kids
* Leader's guide (for leading study groups)
I would recommend this book to anyone who has children, or plans to some day have children. It may even help you understand yourself a little!
We all have dreams for our children, we sometimes put pressure on them to live up to those dreams without taking into consideration (or appreciation of) who they really are. This can cause children to question many aspects of their lives and who they are. Some questions we or they may ask, make up several titles of the chapters in this book:
* Do You Like Me?
* Am I Important to You?
* Is It Okay I'm Unique?
* Who Am I?
* Am I a Failure?
* What's My Purpose?
* Will You Help Me Change?
Each of these questions (and many others) is discussed, and an "antidote" to the problem in question is suggested. It helps the reader understand him/herself better as a parent, and to understand their children in a new way.
The end of the book has many great resources for parents, including:
* Age appropriate activities and chores for children
* How to pray for your children using Bible verses
* Character qualities to develop in your children
* Recommended reading for perfectly imperfect kids
* Leader's guide (for leading study groups)
I would recommend this book to anyone who has children, or plans to some day have children. It may even help you understand yourself a little!
March 2, 2014
In No More Perfect Kids, Jill and Kathy take a look at our relationship with our kids. They explore our expectations of our kids and how those expectations can affect our relationships- especially when we set up unrealistic expectations. Jill discusses the "Perfection Infection" that can invade our relationships when we have these unrealistic expectations and how that can affect our children. She also gives "antidotes" to the infection, several mindsets that we can have that will help us to protect against those unrealistic expectations. The theme of the book is a phrase used repeatedly- "Parent the kids you have, not the ones you wish you had."
I needed this book. I've learned so much- not only about my relationship with my kids but also about my relationship with my parents. It's so easy to fall into the trap of unrealistic expectations, and it's especially damaging to our kids when we have these unrealistic expectations for them.
The book is easy to read in the way it's laid out. The chapters each talk about some of the questions children have about themselves and how the Perfection Infection can affect the way our kids feel about those areas.
At then end of the book there are several resources that you can use in your parenting- resources that go along with the information in the book. There is also a leader's guide so that you can use the book as a small group study.
I needed this book. I've learned so much- not only about my relationship with my kids but also about my relationship with my parents. It's so easy to fall into the trap of unrealistic expectations, and it's especially damaging to our kids when we have these unrealistic expectations for them.
The book is easy to read in the way it's laid out. The chapters each talk about some of the questions children have about themselves and how the Perfection Infection can affect the way our kids feel about those areas.
At then end of the book there are several resources that you can use in your parenting- resources that go along with the information in the book. There is also a leader's guide so that you can use the book as a small group study.
March 2, 2014
When asked to read No More Perfect Kids I was a tad skeptical. As a parent of 6 and a preschool teacher we are told how children should behave and how we are to react. Society norms and rules influence more than we believe. In this book we are shown God’s plan and will when raising our children.
Jill Savage and Dr. Karen Koch co- authored a book with practical insight that helps parents look at parenting in a different light. Highlights of the book for me are the real-life stories that bring the information home with me. I like the connections it makes to real people, real problems – but in the same chapter “anti-dotes” to the “perfection infection”.
Accepting that your child is fine the way they are is hard for any parent, but it is hard to remember that perfection is unattainable. "Setting appropriate and fair expectations in a key to successful parenting."
This is a very enlightening book; it not only helped me understand where I can improve but how I can work on my relationship with my kids, spouse and even my own parents. I can say after reading this book I see where I can improve and incorporate God’s words in raising our children. We are all victims of the “perfection infection” and this book is the perfect antidote for parents of all age children. I am recommending this book to all my friends, co-workers and any parent out there who really need an uplifting Christian outlook on parenting and overcoming the “Perfection Infection”.
Jill Savage and Dr. Karen Koch co- authored a book with practical insight that helps parents look at parenting in a different light. Highlights of the book for me are the real-life stories that bring the information home with me. I like the connections it makes to real people, real problems – but in the same chapter “anti-dotes” to the “perfection infection”.
Accepting that your child is fine the way they are is hard for any parent, but it is hard to remember that perfection is unattainable. "Setting appropriate and fair expectations in a key to successful parenting."
This is a very enlightening book; it not only helped me understand where I can improve but how I can work on my relationship with my kids, spouse and even my own parents. I can say after reading this book I see where I can improve and incorporate God’s words in raising our children. We are all victims of the “perfection infection” and this book is the perfect antidote for parents of all age children. I am recommending this book to all my friends, co-workers and any parent out there who really need an uplifting Christian outlook on parenting and overcoming the “Perfection Infection”.
March 12, 2014
I can't say enough great things about this book! As a mother of 5 kids, ranging from 18 down to 4, I wish I had this in my hands years ago. But the great thing is-it's not too late to become that parent your kids need. I'm so thankful for Jill Savage and Dr Kathy Koch-for their combined efforts that are undoubtedly Spirit-led. This is a book that must be read and ingested slowly. It helps parents not only recognize those damaging perfection-infection traits in their own lives, but also gives some powerful antidotes needed to fight this enemy of families. Friends, perfectionism is a bondage; a bondage that this mom is all too well familiar with. And unchecked, can cause damage every relationship, especially in the most precious...our kids. One of my favorite parts of this book are the core identity questions discussed in each chapter that every child silently asks. Wow-if anything, just putting myself in my child's shoes alone is enough to desire an authentic change for the better in my life as a parent. And what parent wouldn't want to possess the same characteristics of our Father God, whose love is perfect, unconditional, and never-ending. Our kids need to know that we, too, will love them the same way! Full of wisdom and practical advise, I'd highly recommend this book for every parent. Thank you, again Jill and Dr Kathy for this life-changing book!!
October 17, 2014
I really enjoyed this practical parenting book after hearing the authors speak on FOF (one of my favorite podcasts). This book is great for parents with normal kids, kids with developmental delays, kids who have been adopted, and kids who do not fit into parent's expectations. There's something addressed here for everyone, from how to deal with labels (it's gonna happen, so harness them for good), as well as lots of suggestions on how parents need to change to love their kids better (because most of the time it really does come down to our issues/expectations). I loved the appendixes as well- lots of helpful, practical info here like feelings lists, character traits, prayer guides and chore lists.
A few personal notes for later:
p. 82- Family strengths activity- everyone writes down 15-20 statements beginning with "I am" and evaluate together.
p.171 Purpose- include in nightly prayer. To praise God, do good works, be God's PR agent, leave the world a better place.
p.182- Purpose activity- Paper folded in 4 boxes- labeled: be, do, have and help and list 5 things for each in their lifetime.
p.189 Tell me stories from your life, Mom. Use to share experiences and life lessons.
A few personal notes for later:
p. 82- Family strengths activity- everyone writes down 15-20 statements beginning with "I am" and evaluate together.
p.171 Purpose- include in nightly prayer. To praise God, do good works, be God's PR agent, leave the world a better place.
p.182- Purpose activity- Paper folded in 4 boxes- labeled: be, do, have and help and list 5 things for each in their lifetime.
p.189 Tell me stories from your life, Mom. Use to share experiences and life lessons.
March 12, 2014
This is a GREAT book written by amazing ladies with a lot of first hand experience. Not only does it touch base on specific topics, it also gives scenarios and helpful anecdotes to help improve the way we, as parents, can POSITIVELY handle hurdles that our children may run in to. Can you relate to these few excerpts from the book? "We tell a child to 'act your age,' and then we realize he really is!" but "how realistic is this goal when we'd have to admit we don't always act our age?" We can't expect our children to be perfect in anything they do. Nobody is perfect, except God. We need to rid this world of the "Perfection Infection" and give our children, ourselves and our loved ones more Grace. "When we correct our children, we have to let them know we're rejecting their negative behaviors, choices, attitudes, etc., and not them." There are just SO many hints and tips at becoming a better Parent and to not have fewer, unrealistic expectations of our imperfect, yet wonderful, children! You won't be disappointed in this book. There are additional resources in the back of the books, as well as online. I highly recommend you buy this book ASAP!
March 3, 2014
IF you've read any of Jill Savage's previous books, you know she has a way of reaching into a mother's heart and teaching so many invaluable lessons. Combined with Dr. Kathy Koch's incredible insight into the minds of children and their hearts, this book is powerful. NOT just for mothers! Both parents can greatly benefit from taking the time to read this book and then begin applying it to the way they parent their children. One of the best books I've ever read that truly shows parents how to reach in and TRULY get to know the heart of their child, accepting them for who they are, but encouraging them to grow and thrive. It has already greatly challenged me to embrace parenting in a different way, releasing both myself and my child from the "perfection infection". I've already found countless opportunities to use skills that are practically presented throughout the book. Thank you, Jill and Dr. Kathy---for tackling such a necessary topic and positively affecting countless families for generations to come!
March 3, 2014
One of the hardest things about laying down perfection is knowing what to pick up instead. When I read “No More Perfect Kids,” I realized trading in perfection for contentment and excellence is what I needed to do. That’s how this book is, seeping into the reader’s real life because it’s packed full of truth that applies to everyday life.
Of course I’m not perfect – and neither are my kids or husband, but we’re being perfected by a perfect God. I’m certain they’ll be glad I read this book that encourages moms (and dads!) to be intentional with their actions, discipline, words and time.
This book is a worthwhile follow-up book to Savage’s earlier “No More Perfect Moms.” In true Jill Savage fashion, “No More Perfect Kids” is full of real-life examples that point to life-changing lessons. Having Dr. Kathy Koch contribute her insights to this message allows the book to make an ever deeper impact.
Of course I’m not perfect – and neither are my kids or husband, but we’re being perfected by a perfect God. I’m certain they’ll be glad I read this book that encourages moms (and dads!) to be intentional with their actions, discipline, words and time.
This book is a worthwhile follow-up book to Savage’s earlier “No More Perfect Moms.” In true Jill Savage fashion, “No More Perfect Kids” is full of real-life examples that point to life-changing lessons. Having Dr. Kathy Koch contribute her insights to this message allows the book to make an ever deeper impact.
March 2, 2014
Throughout the pages of this book you'll find yourself understanding the scenarios, agreeing with things you need to change in your life and hopeful for the future that lies ahead for both your kids and for you.
While the past can't be changed, Jill teaches ways you can connect and teach your children, as well as growing yourself. All of which is part of being perfected by God, which happens throughout our lives.
Jill tackles difficult topics such as perfection, change, acceptance, failure, purpose and much more. The wisdom within these pages will encourage you to take a deeper look inside yourself to discover what you need to change about you and the way you teach your children. You'll walk away knowing that you can be a better parent, you can change and you want to change so your children can reach their full potential, the potential God gave them when He made them the unique person they are.
While the past can't be changed, Jill teaches ways you can connect and teach your children, as well as growing yourself. All of which is part of being perfected by God, which happens throughout our lives.
Jill tackles difficult topics such as perfection, change, acceptance, failure, purpose and much more. The wisdom within these pages will encourage you to take a deeper look inside yourself to discover what you need to change about you and the way you teach your children. You'll walk away knowing that you can be a better parent, you can change and you want to change so your children can reach their full potential, the potential God gave them when He made them the unique person they are.
March 3, 2014
Jill Savage has done it again, this time with the help of Dr. Kathy Koch. No More Perfect Kids has so many insights that I have taken to heart. I had been "parenting the herd" for a long time, and now I'm better equipped to understand my children's individual strengths and abilities. My children will never be perfect, but I can get rid of the Perfection Infection and have more realistic, healthy expectations.
My most important take-away from No More Perfect Kids was the "antidotes" to the Perfection Infection. The authors list Compassion, Perception, Acceptance, and Love as the antidotes, and re-visit these in each chapter. There is also a valuable appendix with feeling words, scriptures to pray for your children, reading lists, and more. I'm highly recommending this book to all of my friends who are in the child-raising season!
My most important take-away from No More Perfect Kids was the "antidotes" to the Perfection Infection. The authors list Compassion, Perception, Acceptance, and Love as the antidotes, and re-visit these in each chapter. There is also a valuable appendix with feeling words, scriptures to pray for your children, reading lists, and more. I'm highly recommending this book to all of my friends who are in the child-raising season!
March 6, 2014
Whether you are a Dad, Mom, grandparent, teacher, or someone who works with children, you should read this book! It not only helps you realize, or affirm what you already know, that your children are VERY individual and indeed may be very different from your imagined picture perfect portrait of them.
Then it provides you with the tools to help you and you children develop individually as intended by our Creator. Included on page 91-93 of the book is the list of core needs, which Dr Kathy expounds upon in her book Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness. Identifying those needs and helping children realize their purpose is vital to a healthy life.
No More Perfect Kids will help you learn to love and nurture children for the individuals God created. When you do this, you prepare them for the challenges and trials in life that they are certain to encounter.
Then it provides you with the tools to help you and you children develop individually as intended by our Creator. Included on page 91-93 of the book is the list of core needs, which Dr Kathy expounds upon in her book Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness. Identifying those needs and helping children realize their purpose is vital to a healthy life.
No More Perfect Kids will help you learn to love and nurture children for the individuals God created. When you do this, you prepare them for the challenges and trials in life that they are certain to encounter.
March 14, 2014
My kids aren't perfect. I don't want them to be. I feel like they learn from their mistakes and their failures. BUT sometimes my reaction is not what it needs to be to let them know that I don't expect perfection. "No More Perfect Kids" offers parents tons of awesome "techniques" for handling how they react to their children's mistakes and failures, how to let their kids no that being unique is okay, and to let their kids no how important they are to us.
As you go through the book you will notice there are "feeling words", character developments, and even age appropriate chore ideas. This book is a great resource for all ages. A great read for new parents or even the veteran parent who feels like giving up.
As you go through the book you will notice there are "feeling words", character developments, and even age appropriate chore ideas. This book is a great resource for all ages. A great read for new parents or even the veteran parent who feels like giving up.
March 13, 2015
Not for moms of preschoolers
First, the positive: it might be good for parents of older kids. That's about all I can say. After LOVING no more perfect moms, I thought this would be a great way to expand on the parenting chapter. However, my oldest is 3 and I found it very difficult to relate to the examples. Most of the material focuses on older children. The tone of the book also has too much psycho-babble and is too negative. For a book that's supposed to help parents become more positive and try less to be a perfect parent, it seemed like more of an instruction manual on how to not screw up your kids. I'm just glad I read the moms book first because I never would have read it after reading this. I would not recommend this book.
First, the positive: it might be good for parents of older kids. That's about all I can say. After LOVING no more perfect moms, I thought this would be a great way to expand on the parenting chapter. However, my oldest is 3 and I found it very difficult to relate to the examples. Most of the material focuses on older children. The tone of the book also has too much psycho-babble and is too negative. For a book that's supposed to help parents become more positive and try less to be a perfect parent, it seemed like more of an instruction manual on how to not screw up your kids. I'm just glad I read the moms book first because I never would have read it after reading this. I would not recommend this book.
March 3, 2014
When I read No More Perfect Moms, I learned so much about how I place expectations on myself, and how to break free from what Jill calls "The Perfection Infection". When I was asked to be on the launch team for the sequel, No More Perfect Kids, I was elated! So many times as parents, we dream about our kids before we even meet them, and while that is fun, it can be harmful if we let those ideas cloud us from seeing who our kids really are. I'm so encouraged by this book. In a world of comparisons, I can now more clearly see my kids for who God created them to be, instead of what I aspire them to be. Fantastically written and will be reread by me many, many more times.
March 8, 2014
This is a book that every parent should have on hand. Written for both moms and dads, Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch address the “perfection infection” and the dangers of parenting with that mindset. They equip parents with simple tools that help them release the perfect expectation and free their children to be the best that God created them to be.
This book helped me to see and change my parenting so that I don’t “stand with my arms folded in front of me, but stretched out towards my children.” To let them know that mistakes are part of life, their uniqueness should be celebrated and that each of them is important.
This book helped me to see and change my parenting so that I don’t “stand with my arms folded in front of me, but stretched out towards my children.” To let them know that mistakes are part of life, their uniqueness should be celebrated and that each of them is important.
March 7, 2014
With experience, knowledge and a good dose of humor, Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy have found a way to encourage us to be more accepting of our ourselves and our children without ever letting them lose sight of the personal excellence they are capable of achieving. Thank you to everyone who shared their own imperfect stories! It's always reassuring to know you're not alone. Jill has diagnosed our "Perfection Infection" and worked with Dr. Kathy to find the "cure". Full of useful, practical tips for moms, dads and anyone else who has a close relationship with a child.
April 30, 2014
Really great book about accepting your kids for who they are and building positive character traits in them. Change = exchange, change a negative characteristic for a positive one. Oh, and we parents have to set the example!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews