Beforelife

The Beforelife Stories #1

by Randal Graham

It’s okay if you don’t believe in the afterlife. The people who live there don’t believe in you, either.

What if you went to heaven and no one there believed in Earth? This is the question at the heart of Beforelife, a satirical novel that follows the post-mortem adventures of widower Ian Brown, a man who dies on the book’s first page and finds himself in an afterlife where no one else believes in “pre-incarnation.” The other residents of the afterlife have mysteriously forgotten their pre-mortem lives and think that anyone who remembers a mortal life is suffering from a mental disorder called the “Beforelife Delusion.”

None of that really matters to Ian. All he wants to do is reunite with Penelope, his wife. Scouring the afterlife for any sign of her, Ian accidentally winds up on a quest to prove that the beforelife is real. This puts him squarely into the crosshairs of some of history’s greatest heroes and villains, all of whom seem unhealthily obsessed with erasing Ian’s memories and preventing him from reminding anyone of their pre-mortem lives. Only by staying a step ahead of his enemies can Ian hope to keep his much-needed marbles, find Penelope, and restore the public’s memories of the beforelife.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Audiobook, Canada, Adult, Ebooks, Adult Fiction

538 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 5, 2017

About the author

Also writes under the name Randal N.M. Graham.

Reviews

[Randal Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom says it's good ;)

[Nikki Stafford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I was the editor who acquired and edited this book for the press. But it's still one of my all-time favourite books. This is the story of Ian Brown, who dies on the first page of the book and finds himself being pulled out of a river in what he pretty quickly gleans is the afterlife... only the people there believe they are life, period, and that there was no "beforelife." The people who DO talk about their lives before that moment are deemed as having Beforelife Delusion, and committed to the local mental hospital. And that's where you meet Rhinnick, the guy who talks like a 1940s British comic novel; the Matron; Oan (spelled Joan, but the J is silent); and the five Napoleons. As Rhinnick and Ian decide to break out of the hospital, there are other more nefarious characters who are using their knowledge from their beforelives (unbeknownst to them) to create roadblocks and commit shocking acts that thwart Ian's efforts. Ian has one purpose in mind: to find his beloved wife, Penelope, whom he believes is somewhere in the afterlife as well. But... will she remember him? This book had me laughing out loud constantly every time I read it (and I've read it 5 times now) with its Monty Pythonesque humour and hilarious characters — and some super kick-ass women — as well as the ongoing mystery with every character of trying to figure out who they might have been in the real world. I can't recommend this book highly enough.

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

Up-to-the-minute polling reveals that 86 per cent of readers who've reached this point in the narrative happily accept that Ian died when struck by a train, that he awoke in an afterlife that failed to correspond to popular expectations, and that he spent an unspecified period of time in a netherworldly mental institution. They also accept that he was accompanied by an Indian guide named Tonto while occasionally pursued by an undead philospher-assassin armed with an impressive array of lethal, high-tech gadgets. In short, these readers believe what they've been told. These readers are straight-shooting, early-rising, salt-of-the-earth types who like to take things at face value, trust their neighbours, pay their taxes, go to bed early, and never, ever, skip to the last page of the book.

As I was sitting and reading Beforelife, someone asked me what it was about and I flipped back to the page that begins with the above paragraph to let her see for herself – thinking then (and now) that it's fairly representative of the plot, the humour, and the metafictional style of author Randal Graham. After she finished the page, this friend turned to me and said, “Well that's...exhausting.” And it is, rather; while reading this book I felt like an iPhone with too many tabs open in the background, my battery draining more quickly than usual. But that's not to say this read wasn't enjoyable: as an irony-drenched and philosophical action-packed romp through the nature of reality, this book is certainly an achievement of idea- and wordplay. But at over five hundred pages, that's a whole lot of battery drain.

As that opening quote makes clear, Ian Brown was struck dead by a train (it happens in the first paragraph of the book, so it's no spoiler), and after a churn through the River Styx, he's fished out of the water by a beautiful young woman, Tonto, who offers to be his guide. She explains that, like all humans, Ian had just been manifested by the river, and if he believes that he has any memories of the “beforelife”, that's merely a temporary hallucinatory side-effect of the manifestation process: there is no existence before the now – there was no train, no midlevel government official named Ian, no wife named Penelope – despite Ian's persisting memories of that life. While Ian is immediately institutionalised, machinations are put in play at the highest levels of this world's power structure that seem to belie the official stance on the beforelife: Just what do these high-ranking people actually know and to what lengths are they willing to go to protect their version of reality?

Historical thinkers show up in Beforelife as newly manifested characters who have no memory of what we would know of their lives here on Earth, and I laughed and groaned in equal measure at a lot of the punning concepts – as when the assassin-philosopher refers to his murderous specialty as the “Socratic Method” – and to strain the metafictional ideas, one character believes himself to be the protagonist in a novel, referring often to his own character sketch and the narrative demands of the omnipotent Author who is directing the action. I found this Rhinnick to be so annoying – with his clunky Anglicisms and starts and stops as he forever searches for the right word – that I inwardly sighed every time a chapter began from his perspective (and if the epilogue is hinting at an actual sequel from his perspective, that is a read I would go to lengths to avoid). To illustrate with an example I picked at random:

They were agog. Or rather, Tonto was agog. Ian was merely puzzled, which I found shabby. I mean to say, I hadn't expected the man to clap his hands and leap about, as these excesses are beyond him, and I'll admit the chap had suffered a bit of a blow: he'd heard it suggested, moments earlier, that his wires had been crossed and marbles scrambled by malefactors unknown, and that his much-loved better half – one Penelope-Something-or-Other – might be somewhere in Detroit, still imperilled by the very parties who'd meddled with Ian's mind. A nasty jar, I'd imagine, and one that smote this Ian Brown like a tee-shot to the navel. It was for this reason, I perceived, that the above-named Brown, rather than receiving my revelations with excited yips and other demonstrations of the enthusiastic spirit, just sat quietly and goggled in that baffled way of his.

This meandering circumloquaciousness strained my patience in what was feeling like an overlong book, but I understand that the author is a law professor – has written textbooks on legal language – and there's no denying that this book was written by someone who loves the English language; every sentence is embellished and tweaked with flavour. It feels peevish to complain that too much attention was paid to each word, but eventually, any romp becomes a slog if it lasts too long. This is fairly representative of the humour:

Their trip down the spiralling ledge didn't technically count as spelunking, but it was close enough cousins to spelunking that any marriage between the two would have violated consanguinity laws in any state whose anthem wasn't scored for banjo and jug.

That doesn't feel like a fresh joke, so what's the point? On the other hand, this book's big concept was interesting, the action wasn't predictable, and the revelations behind the Omega Missive made me laugh out loud. I remember loving Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker series when it first came out, and while Beforelife constantly reminded me of Adams' quirky irony, it just didn't give me the same joy – which means either this book didn't quite succeed with the form or I have become crankier (and I'll admit, I have become crankier). After hemming and hawing, I'm giving three stars – with the reminder that I think of that as a decent rating.

[Kelsey Baguinat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hate when publishers say "this book is a cross between x and x!" Said book rarely comes close to whatever masterpieces they're comparing it to. But I'll go out on a limb and do something I never do. This book is like a cross between something Terry Pratchett would write and Welcome to Night Vale. If you know me at all, you'll consider that extremely high praise. The only reason I didn't give this five stars was because it got a little muddled and lost me a bit toward the end, but this book was a delight overall and had me chuckling the whole way through! 4.5!

[Barbara McEwen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars - I liked the premise (see the blurb) and I think the book delivered on it. I enjoyed the story through to the ending and thought it did a good job of incorporating the speculative fiction aspects, satire, politics, and philosophy. That sounds like a lot for a book to incorporate but it is a pretty big book. Personally some of the comedy was just too over the top for me, it can be awfully cheesy at times but it is obviously intentional and I think whether you love it or it drives you nuts will be very personal. While I would have preferred it to be shorter and with less rants by a certain character ( I am looking at you Rhinnick) I was pretty impressed it is a debut fiction novel.

[Karl Dore · Rating 5 out of 5]

My copy of Randal Graham's Beforelife arrived today. The imagination is astonishing, the storytelling divine. I've stopped for breath at the line where the assassin Socrates remarked “An unexamined life is not worth taking.”
And having reached page 61 of 525, I'm ready to give my verdict. Tour. de. force. 👍👍

[Book Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It's hysterical. This is a great book with lots of hidden mysteries and clever, subtle references. You don’t need to pick up on all of the references or mysteries to enjoy the book, but they do add a lot of “hidden treasures” to the main story. I won’t put any spoilers here, but do be aware that many characters in the book are famous historical characters who are now in the afterlife and don’t remember their mortal lives or identities – a lot of the fun is trying to figure out who they were in the beforelife before the author tips his hand. Highly recommended if you like silly, satirical writing with lots of literary and philosophical content.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting book,to say the least. I liked it,though I was often a bit confused.

[Becca Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beforelife is an original, zany, metaphysical and metafictional adventure. Its sardonic narrator and rambling plot make it a kind of a post-modern Tristram Shandy, and it offers a smart, funny commentary on narrative conventions.
Here's what I liked about this book: it's an unpredictable adventure and an original, funny and compelling imagining of the afterlife. It handles its historical, literary and pop culture references deftly, without being alienating or elitist. The ending is delightful and satisfying.
At over 500 pages, though, Beforelife is not a quick read. I think the book would have benefitted from some substantive cuts--there are a few chapters that could have made the same point, achieved the same effect, in far fewer pages. And I found the book's handling of gender rather frustrating in the first 200 or so pages. Eventually, it's clear that this effect is intentional, and Graham makes a strong and effective point about how women are portrayed in literature and pop culture (the ending is deeply satisfying, I promise!), but 200 pages is a long time to feel like what you're reading is more than a little sexist. There are also a few uncomfortable lines that handle race and ethnicity in a rather clumsy (if not insensitive way), and these tensions aren't adequately resolved.
It's not a short read, but you'll enjoy it if you stick with it. And if there are a few passages that you're tempted to skim over in the first half of the novel to get to the very strong ending, I say don't feel bad. There's a good chance you got the gist in the first page or so of that section, anyway.

[Karen Elmquist · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this and I read and enjoy almost every genre. This is contrived and forced and repetitive with too many not funny puns and "in jokes".
I just couldn't get through it. The concept had promise but the author didn't pull it off.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well well well. I wasn`t sure of what I was getting into when I started this novel . My husband recommended it as something I would like, and he was not wrong!! I would rate this right up there with A Princess Bride and A Confederacy of Dunces.....maybe being a LITTLE below these, but definitely in the same ballpark. The plot moves along beautifully with adventure and surprises around every corner...many feats of derring do & a few of derring DON`T! Extremely likable & interesting characters and we even get to guess, (with more than a few clues strewn about), who they REALLY might be. Many humorous mysteries small & great...nicely wrapped up with a bow at the end. And it has footnotes, which all the best books do!It looks like the author has set things up for another book. Here`s hoping he writes it!

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you get when you cross the writings of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, with a dash of Monty Python added in for good measure?

Probably nothing legible; they didn't intend for their works to be combined, after all.

If they had worked together, however, you might end up with something like Beforelife. Set in a reality where the immortal citizenry don't believe in pre-incarnation (aka a beforelife), Ian Brown awakens to find his memories of his previous life fully intact, including his unfortunate demise (nb: not a spoiler, as it occurs on Page 1).

He sets out to find his wife, Penelope, and encounters all manner of interesting and intriguing characters on the way. Meanwhile, mysterious persons have taken notice of Ian's arrival in their reality, and they have other plans for both him and his comrades. Can Ian, the most average person alive (and/or in the beforelife), discover and thwart their plans before it's too late? Will he ever find his beloved Penelope? Will the Author ever run out of witty wordplay and puns? (The answer to the last is no.)

If you're looking for a new and original voice in satire, set in a unique and thought-provoking setting, then look no further. Beforelife is smart, witty, and goes by all too quickly, leaving you wanting more. For a book about the ultimate average Joe (or Ian), this book is far more than average. I'd give it a A+.

[Paul · Rating 1 out of 5]

Randal Graham's novel "Beforelife" is published proof of the ancient adage "brevity is the soul of wit," albeit by negative example, as the good Mr. Graham seems as incapable of brevity as he is of flight or underwater breathing, presupposing that he is human (which, from his photograph and brief bio, seem more than likely). To use a less generalized but equally verbose analogy, Mr. Graham seems as incapable of brevity as he is of resisting the impulse to overstuff every single sentence of his novel with barmy Anglicisms, giving the reader the uncomfortable impression of being trapped in a sealed suburban basement with a pretentious, socially awkward 17-year-old, his dog-eared copy of "The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," and Blu-Rays of every Britcom broadcast on Public Television since 1971. If his fastidious avoidance of economy, abetted by his staggeringly constant use of adverbs (why, after all, should one "race" when one can "run quickly?") and penchant for pointless asides (if indeed asides could be tapered to the, well, point that they have a "point"), serves a more educational purpose, it is that his novel demonstrates the difference between cleverness and wit. For while "Beforelife" is a fiendishly (some might whisper sotto voce "insufferably") clever novel, it is as witless as one of his caricature-like creations who stand in for "characters" after they've suffered a "mindwipe" (which I would explain but I daren't risk spoilers). For while Ms. Graham displays the obstreperous cleverness of your next-door neighbor who invites you into his home to witness the way by which he's trained his kitty-cat how to use and flush the toilet, he lacks the wit of your across-the-street neighbor who whispers (again "sotto voce," if that's the phrase) "imagine his dating profile" in your ear.

If you got through the above paragraph without puking, you might like "Beforelife."

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

TLDR: Witty, charming, and detail oriented. If you want a fun read that will trick you into reading philosophy and make you laugh while you think this is the book for you.

Beforelife really strikes a cord with me. II decided to give this book a shot based on the incredibly intriguing little blurb. I expected something dense and settled myself in with a glass and a bottle of whiskey to help muddle my way through. Knowing the writer was a law professor made me even more prepared for a dull but intellectually engaging read.

It turns out I was half right. Beforelife reads very easily - the philosophy is there but it's something to be enjoyed not something to brow beat you (or even be necessary to fully enjoy the book - lord knows I probably didn't get every nuance of meaning). The writing, while it can be slightly long winded, is nonetheless enjoyable and integrates humour in a way that really flows. I never really noticed myself stalling out - and frequently felt I wanted to know "what happens next".

The characters and world are also certainly heavily detailed. It's clear the author has approached the subject with love and care, thought, re-thought, and re-re-thought his characters. The structures of the world are intricately described and, amazingly (given the level of detail), internally consistent.

[Tigrenska Jourard · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a rare joy to discover a new book that effortlessly blends several genres (comedy/speculative fiction/satire/politics/philosophy) with a completely believable - and logically consistent - parallel universe, using witty, elegant, literate prose and the best meta-fiction since Jasper Fforde. On my personal LOL-meter "Beforelife" scored even higher than C.Moore's brilliantly funny "Lamb." Randal Graham sits comfortably alongside Fforde, Douglas Adams, Spider Robinson and Terry Pratchett.

My FB posts while reading this book: "First laugh out loud was on page two. This bodes very well indeed." - and - "The second L.O.L. (if you're keeping track) was on page 11. Bewildered puppy. Perfect image." - and - "Third LOL on page 28. The fourth was the footnote on page 31. This is a treat." - and - "The team takes decisive action at the end of Chapter 30: 'Quick. Gimme the hamster.' Love this book." After that I was too engrossed to possed [make it rhyme].

Now please excuse me; I'm off to read it again for the very first time.

[Michelé · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delightful read! You don’t often get a sci-fi comedy mix, but this one was quirky and charming and totally self-aware.

I liked the narrative techniques a lot. It was really experimental.It was also multi-pov with a lot of personality and breaking of the fourth wall, which I think worked. I completely trusted the author and the rules of the world he created. Its not like any other sci-fi I’ve read or seen.

There were some twists I really enjoyed. But my favorite part was figuring out which of the people had been famous in the beforelife and who they were. It was action packed, but considering its the afterlife I was never really stressed about real harm coming to anyone, which I personally enjoyed. That’s a difficult concept to be successful in, I think.

It was long-winded but I really didn’t mind. I didnt find myself bored or anything. I also really enjoyed the punny nature of it. I’ll be reading the sequel for sure!

[Dev · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with some of the other reviewers - the premise is dynamite, and there are many hilarious, Pythonesque passages, but the book is simply too damn long. While the start and finish are strong and mostly captivating, the middle section is bloated. If this could be edited down to a Terry Pratchett novel length (i.e. around 300 pages), it could very well be a 5 star burner. Of course, easier said than done.

On another editing note, I hope that the word "agog" is not employed more than twice in the next book! Don't get me wrong - I love the word. It's expressive and rarely used (and therefore, noteworthy). But after I read it twice in quick succession, I was hunting for it the rest of the way. It was a distracting sidequest. Altogether, "agog" appears at least 4 times, and that's a paddlin'.

[Len · Rating 4 out of 5]

A swashbuckling trip through...the afterlife...which isn't the afterlife, but the current life, due to the denial of the beforelife!
A fun romp/fantasy adventure with some interesting characters and a truly original take on 'what comes next'.

[Allie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the premise, and I love the snark. Some truly clever turns of phrase are littered throughout the book. However, sometimes there was too much snark, even for me (and I’m full of snark myself). It’s a bit on the nose to have a sidekick in a book who is a mental patient for believing he is a character in a book. Also, this book is long. It’s fun, but it is long.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptional tale. Graham's novel is refreshing, relatable, and full of wit and charm. I look forward to reading the sequel!

[Jeatherhane Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beforelife is sort of a mashup of fantasy, action/adventure, mystery and comedy, with a dash of superhero antics thrown in. The satire and word play are laugh out loud hilarious. It pokes fun at politics, religion, academia, history, science, and philosophy, among other things. Graham’s writing style is intelligent and fun and not like anything else I’ve read.

The premise is unique – what if people in the afterlife didn’t believe in us? The protagonist is Ian Brown, a very average man: “He was almost perfectly average. If you added up all the people on earth and then divided them by global population, you’d have Ian.” I listened to the audiobook, so I didn’t bookmark all my favourite quotes, but there are so many: almost everything that comes out of Rinnick’s mouth (Rinnick is Ian’s roommate at the mental hospital where they are being treated for “beforelife delusion”.) This book is just so clever, I don’t think I’m clever enough to do it justice with my review. Just read it.

This is my first time reading Randal Graham, but not the last. I hope the follow up books have the same audiobook narrator – he was perfect.

[Legal Beagle · Rating 5 out of 5]

No spoilers

At the beginning of 2018 I began a reading habit, and I had to pick at least 3 interesting books to keep my attention long enough to build a reading habit. Beforelife was book number 3. A wonderful book, just the fiction I needed to follow two non-fiction.

Before reading Beforelife, I had no beforelife reading fiction. Now I also read fiction.

The habit stuck in part because Beforelife is fun and fantastical. Having read a few books since the time of authoring this review, I recall the characters amusing and the story was seldom boring, if ever.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beforelife is one of the most unique books I have ever read in my life. The concept was so fascinating to me, and the characters were so quirky and wonderful!! I absolutely loved it - the only reason I didn't give it 5 stars was because it hurt my brain LOL. It is such a complex story line that I found I often had to take breaks to digest what I had read. I do like a book that is a challenge to my brain though :).

[Penny (Literary Hoarders)]

This is not a book I would normally reach for as it's categorized as fantasy and speculative fiction. Not my go to genres...but there was something about it that compelled me to pick it up at my campus bookstore...I read the description and it sold me. I now own the only copy that was available there today.

[N. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoa. It was like a chain of surprises. And having bought this a bit before I finally read it, I had grown to love this book's setting and world building.

Plus, there's a very subtle plot twist in the very second to last page.

Overall, a fun novel. the middle drags a bit in it's pacing. but it's still quiet fun for a post life adventure novel.

seriously. There's a lead character named Tonto.

[Jesse Hildebrand · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a tremendous fan of Douglas Adams and Neil Gaiman, and in looking through the other reviews it's clear I'm not the only person to liken this amazing first effort to their marvellous books.

Beforelife is a completely unique read in my experience - an incredibly witty and charming story that captured me after a few sentences, something that has only happened to me a few times in my life of reading.

The puns, footnote jokes, and continually spot on humour throughout makes it an absolute delight. And, in a difficult feat to pull off, Beforelife even nails the ending perfectly after a few twists and turns that I could never have seen coming.

Get it today!

[Kori May · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastically fun! Written very much in a similar style to Douglas Adams with the addition of quirky and funny footnotes.

Right from the beginning, I didn't want to put this book down. Even before finishing it, I'm sure I recommended it at least a dozen times. Looking forward to continuing the adventure in Afterlife Crisis!

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A clever and witty jaunt through the afterlife.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this one after the third installment, Graham's new book Nether Regions, and this did not disappoint! Can I give it 10 stars? Laugh out loud funny - yes, literally, my husband asked what I was sniggering on about - and brilliantly convoluted. Randall Graham is Canada's Douglas Adam's!

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was provided a copy of this book by ECW Press in exchange for an honest review. First off, let me say that this is not the type of book I would have chosen for myself as I am not really crazy about fantasy, sci-fi or otherwise fantastical story-lines.

That being said, thank heaven for sometimes having a book chosen for you instead of relying on your own (sometimes maybe narrow minded) tastes. This book was really, really good: Humorous and full of entertaining little footnotes and asides. The premise was wildly imaginative and the plot totally absorbing. The characters are so well developed and described you can hear and see them in your mind's eye as you read. Love the parallels and juxtaposition between before and after-life (if juxtaposition is the word I'm looking for).

Much of the philosophy, which I'm sure rambles about throughout the story, may have gone right over my head (in fact, I'm sure it did); but this was such an absorbing and funny story with the most lovable (if not lovable, at least entertaining) characters you may ever encounter; written in such a unique and engaging style, it really didn't matter. I plan on reading this again. I'll look for the philosophical stuff then.