Como lidar com pessoas que te deixam louco: Um guia para sobreviver a chefes tiranos, amantes egoístas e colegas difíceis

by Paul Hauck

Pessoas controladoras, tiranas, fracassadas, perversas. Todo mundo conhece alguem capaz de lhe tirar do serio por alguma dessas razoes. Pode ser um chefe mandao, um colega agressivo, um marido ciumento ou um companheiro manipulador. Regularmente e preciso aprender a lidar com gente que nos faz mal, seja na vida social, no ambiente de trabalho ou mesmo no cotidiano familiar. Mas, segundo o doutor em psicologia clinica Paul Hauck, autor de "Como Lidar com Pessoas que Te Deixam Louco", nao e preciso deixar que nada disso leve ninguem a loucura.

O escritor e palestrante sugere novas formas de lidar com os diversos perfis dos que ele chama de "fazedores de louco". Dos mimados ou ciumentos aos bullies - pessoas que usam a agressao fisica e/ou psicologica para intimidar e manipular alguem -, neste livro estao enumerados os tipos mais comuns e o passo-a-passo de estrategias para enfrentar cada um deles, sempre partindo de tres principios 1.Voce recebe o comportamento que tolera; 2. Os outros nao vao mudar a menos que voce mude primeiro; 3. Controle a sua tolerancia excessiva.

"Quando voce acredita que seu sofrimento e culpa sua, eu diria que, primeiro, voce e responsavel diretamente por 51% dos seus problemas sentimentais. Ninguem pode abala-lo emocionalmente a nao ser que voce permita. (...) Voce, a pessoa que esta deprimida, zangada ou com medo, e o maior causador dos seus proprios sentimentos neuroticos. Voce e responsavel pelas frustracoes que os fazedores de louco lhe infligem.

A personalidade dos fazedores de louco se desenvolve de duas formas, segundo o pela aprendizagem e pela formacao fisica e/ou genetica. "A aprendizagem e resultado do que nossos pais nos ensinam durante nossa criacao. (...) [Mas] da mesma forma que as caracteristicas positivas sao transmitidas (...), as negativas tambem o sao", alerta Hauck. "Pais que resolvem todos os impasses com gritos e xingamentos ensinam esses habitos aos seus filhos. Filhos

Genres: Self Help

168 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Dr. Paul A. Hauck was a renowned American psychologist and author, known for his long career in clinical practice and public education on mental health. After serving in World War II, he earned his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and held key positions in several mental health centers before establishing the first private psychological practice in the Quad Cities. He wrote 16 popular psychology books, translated into 23 languages, and his long-running column The Human Scene educated readers for decades. Hauck was also an avid lifelong learner, enjoying music, languages, and sports. He was honored with the Illinois Most Distinguished Psychologist Award and retired in 2007.

Reviews

[Ivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are four major takeaways from the book for me:
0. Rating people for separate actions/qualities is stupid
- we change
- we do other stuff(apart from the 'bad')
- we value different things differently
# finally I'm ok talking to my sister, even realizing that she's not able to do maths I love:) ok, I LOVE her:)

1. The best way to help neurotic people is don't become a one
- Relax: we don't always get what we want

2. Hierarchy of sacrifice:
- Cooperation
- Respect
- Love

3. Principles of interaction
- People treat you in a way you allow them
- Others won't change until you do
- Don't tolerate for too long

4. There's nothing wrong in acting hard towards people you're trying to help(although, do that with no anger, please) -- he calls that 3rd principle of persistence:
- Pay back good stuff
- If someone drives you crazy - talk to them, but no more than 2 times and about different causes
- Return back bad stuff without feeling anger, fear, guilt or anything

I still don't quite agree about the 3rd principles of persistence/interaction, but I'm really greatful to the author about providing me with yet another model of understanding of interactions between people in society, as well as giving overview of some unusual(for me) methods of improving those.

[Ty-Orion · Rating 1 out of 5]

Изключително слаба книга, язък за образованието на автора - клиничен психолог. Писано е като за хора с една мозъчна клетка и без никакво вникване. Същите неща ще ви каже някоя лелка на пазарЯ.

Иначе ми се видя забавно, че корицата на българското издание е откраднат кадър от любимия ми филм - "Oldboy" на Парк Чан-Ук. :D От корицата излиза, че начинът за справяне с дразнещите ни хора е да ги оставяме да се размажат на бетона долу. Евала. Усещам, как релаксирам...

[Rêve · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you have no background and are entirely unfamiliar to psychology and personality types, you can take a lot from this book as long as you filter the information because you can tell this is a 20year old book.
As for me, I expected more, it felt to me like the author wrote it in an afternoon and I was not the best audience for it probably. I also found a lot of the content repetitive. I would keep a couple of things however, like the fact that we have to watch our boundaries and tolerance levels as well as keep in mind that "we accept the behavior we think we tolerate".

[Dude · Rating 2 out of 5]

Would appreciate if it had more depth .