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My Jihad: One American's Journey Through the World of Usama Bin Laden--as a Covert Operative for the American Government
He was a brawny, blue-eyed, Irish-American religious convert who became a holy warrior in the name of Islam -- until the holy war began to change. Aukai Collins grew up abandoned, surviving in the streets and running with thugs. While serving time, he converted to Islam, and went to fight with the Muslims who were targeted for genocide in Chechnya and Bosnia. This led him to Usama bin Laden's training camps in Afghanistan. As terrorist attacks on civilians around the world intensified, Aukai was asked to lead a mission that included hostage taking and the killing of civilians -- something he would not do. Disillusioned by those who used Islam for their own ends or to attack innocents, Aukai offered his services to the FBI and CIA as a counter-terrorist operative, even getting close to one of the leaders of the September 11 attacks. Yet his greatest strength -- providing insight into the problems surrounding the U.S. government's fight against something it doesn't understand -- was ignored by inept members of the American intelligence community. My Jihad is an insider's story about the greatest threat to world peace and stability in modern times, told by an unforgettable true-life warrior who has walked the walk, fought the fights, and lived to tell about it.
368 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published June 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
January 4, 2017
I'm not sure exactly what I think of this one. It rings true mostly, but some of it sounds really cliche. It's the story of an American who signs up to become an American Mujaheddin. I'll give him that he doesn't really take action against America directly. Most of it is in Bosnia, Kashmir, and Chechnya.
It gives you some good insight into the mindset of people who do this. You can learn a lot from it. I wasn't thrilled with it, but it's worth a read if you want to learn more about jihad.
It gives you some good insight into the mindset of people who do this. You can learn a lot from it. I wasn't thrilled with it, but it's worth a read if you want to learn more about jihad.
January 27, 2023
Oh my, I get it that as I person who has never experienced war I can't judge...
But I'm totally judging.
One can get sick from the whole "I'm such a badass, everyone was incompetent but me, I had to tell everyone what to do, if only they listened to me everything would be better". Who knows, maybe it was true? It's possible the whole world would be a better place if CIA/FBI just listened to the author.
But hearing about it constantly, while he showed terrible naivety in other matters was annoying as hell. The story was quite interesting here, but I started to doze off on all the technical details of the weapons used. It does provide a unique perspective on Islam, several wars, the role of USA and UN and so on.
I really wanted to give three starts, but the interview with the author at the end spoiled it for me. His solution to PTSD is "be more" badass plus his approach to women is such that I am surprised that he was surprised that two of his wives left him.
But I'm totally judging.
One can get sick from the whole "I'm such a badass, everyone was incompetent but me, I had to tell everyone what to do, if only they listened to me everything would be better". Who knows, maybe it was true? It's possible the whole world would be a better place if CIA/FBI just listened to the author.
But hearing about it constantly, while he showed terrible naivety in other matters was annoying as hell. The story was quite interesting here, but I started to doze off on all the technical details of the weapons used. It does provide a unique perspective on Islam, several wars, the role of USA and UN and so on.
I really wanted to give three starts, but the interview with the author at the end spoiled it for me. His solution to PTSD is "be more" badass plus his approach to women is such that I am surprised that he was surprised that two of his wives left him.
November 13, 2022
I was expecting a boring religious book about a guy who becomes a terrorist but it was completely different. When he found his faith, he decided to fight for freedom of Muslims in danger, eg. Chechnya, which was very noble in principle but also very naive. As you can expect, one man's battle didn't change the result of the war. However, he has interesting adventures and the book is quick to read. Later he decided to work with the US government to fight terrorism when he found that fanatic Muslims kill innocent people. And he is surprised that they don't treat him seriously, don't want to give him important missions. Again, very naive to think otherwise. I agree the government could have made a better use of his skills, but knowing the red-tape, it wasn't going to happen.
December 2, 2009
It's really hard to review this book accurately. From my perspective, I see Collins conversion and then submersion into fundamentalist Islam as obvious: an abused child from a chaotic, broken home, no father, empty and lacking in a path or life goals- a common story with an uncommon reaction from an American(to turn to Islam, as opposed to Jesus,) that is simultaneously entirely predictable. In fundamentalist faith, you are given the ultimate father, strict rules, and big expectations. The suddenly aimless life is replaced by not only a big love, but a mission, and a duty to pick up arms.
While I find his sense of duty admirable, and his jihad service mostly noble (Chechnya, etc.) it saddens me that he is willing to subjugate women in the name of his faith, when he has been raised in a culture that has grown away from such abhorrent behavior. Collins now has a daughter, and I hope as she grows he will learn to treat women appropriately.
I truly feel that this book taught me more about Islamic fundamentalism, mujaheddin, and jihad than I knew before. It is definitely a 180 from the propaganda that we hear about in the papers, and from the experience of boots on the ground, an American Mujaheddin was not fighting to topple America, but training with Al Qeda to learn tactics for fighting real revolutionary struggles. I will forever respect and appreciate this book for enlightening me to the depths of these issues that are portrayed so one dimensionally in our media. In the end, the Islamic fighters are just as duped and misguided as our Rick Warren/James Dobson Christian soldiers.
While I find his sense of duty admirable, and his jihad service mostly noble (Chechnya, etc.) it saddens me that he is willing to subjugate women in the name of his faith, when he has been raised in a culture that has grown away from such abhorrent behavior. Collins now has a daughter, and I hope as she grows he will learn to treat women appropriately.
I truly feel that this book taught me more about Islamic fundamentalism, mujaheddin, and jihad than I knew before. It is definitely a 180 from the propaganda that we hear about in the papers, and from the experience of boots on the ground, an American Mujaheddin was not fighting to topple America, but training with Al Qeda to learn tactics for fighting real revolutionary struggles. I will forever respect and appreciate this book for enlightening me to the depths of these issues that are portrayed so one dimensionally in our media. In the end, the Islamic fighters are just as duped and misguided as our Rick Warren/James Dobson Christian soldiers.
July 15, 2013
My jihad is an enlightening book. Before reading this book I believed just what a typical America does: jihad is a wretched thing and mujahideen (a word I didn't know before reading the book) are all set out to destroy the good ol' USA. But, this book gave a face to this large minority of people, who are fighting for their countries as much as we are fighting for ours. I do realize that many mujahideen are horrid people but I found out that generalizing them all as "terrorists" is flat out wrong and ignorant. Many of these mujahideen are people just like anyone in the US who just have been led down a different path in life, due to their living environment. This book shows you that you cannot base all of your opinions off of what the mainstream media says. My Jihad is a book about a man who finds his true calling in life, through his search for God and his fight for his people. It's his story of his unique experience with the so-called "terrorists" and the governments of various countries, most of whom ARE trying to stop the actual terrorists but harm many other people in collateral.
February 11, 2012
An eye-opening look into the mind and heart of an American Muslim and his dedication to jihad. I certainly learned a lot and it made me realize that more and more I agree with Ron Paul's foreign policy. We don't truly understand the conflicts in other cultures, some of them have been going on for centuries and will continue to do so, and we have no business meddling in them.
November 3, 2016
Behind the Mask
How well do you understand jihad? Where is the line drawn between jihad and terrorism, and is it a clear line? Was Al-Qaeda committing jihad or just murder? How about Islamic State? For many, Islamic jihad is a difficult concept to grasp, with misunderstandings and confusion around the principles of Islamic war especially due to the so-called "jihadists" that have been killing innocent people in recent news. "My Jihad" written by Aukai Collins and published by Lyons Press, is unlike other books written on similar topics, as it allows readers to comprehend the Islamic Jihad from the perspective of one who has fought both alongside and against jihadists. I chose to read this book because I was curious about the pre-9/11 jihad and I was hoping to learn and draw comparisons between the mujahideen of the 1980s and groups such as Islamic State today. Despite what seems to be self-righteousness and arrogance from Collins at times, “My Jihad” was a very gripping read - his accounts of illegal border crossings and training camps allowed me to understand more about the jihadists, as footage usually shown on the news is almost exclusively of combat and people rarely see behind the curtain of violence.
“My Jihad,” an autobiography by Aukai Collins, takes place mostly in Bosnia, Kashmir, and Chechnya. Collins is an American with a troubled background who eventually found his place in Islam and ended up joining the jihadist effort after learning of the atrocities committed against Muslims by Russian soldiers in the Middle East and Eastern Europe. As such, he is conflicted when confronted with the deeds of groups such as Al-Qaeda, who slaughter innocent civilians and call it jihad. His desire for a pure jihad shows at points in his book, as there seems to be an underlying theme about whether or not what he is doing is right. Throughout the book, a very personal tone is taken as if Collins were talking to a friend, giving the readers a surprisingly casual feeling for a book about such a topic.
As for Collins’ writing style, it is relatively casual, as an autobiography usually is. The vocabulary is relatively common, with military terms and pieces of Arabic and Urdu vocabulary used to offer a more genuine feel to the accounts of his experiences. The occasional usage of sarcasm and recounts of humourous events also help to lighten the mood in otherwise serious situations. In addition, Collins’ occasional comments about the incompetency of the FBI seem very self-centered and arrogant to some, but I believe it helps people connect and relate to him even though the events in the book are very difficult to relate to. Overall, despite the lower degree of sophistication in the writing, the book is well written for its readers as an autobiography.
I recommend this book most to those who are concerned about terrorism and Islamic extremism, or those who want to learn about the pre-9/11 jihad. Even if you do not have a particular interest in such topics, I still suggest reading this book, as it also serves somewhat of an educational purpose and clears several misconceptions about jihad. Overall, I’d give this book a 4 out of 5 - it’s a very compelling and enlightening read, but sometimes readers may get frustrated with Collins’ self-righteous thinking. Just keep in mind that it offers a glimpse into what he was likely thinking at the time.
How well do you understand jihad? Where is the line drawn between jihad and terrorism, and is it a clear line? Was Al-Qaeda committing jihad or just murder? How about Islamic State? For many, Islamic jihad is a difficult concept to grasp, with misunderstandings and confusion around the principles of Islamic war especially due to the so-called "jihadists" that have been killing innocent people in recent news. "My Jihad" written by Aukai Collins and published by Lyons Press, is unlike other books written on similar topics, as it allows readers to comprehend the Islamic Jihad from the perspective of one who has fought both alongside and against jihadists. I chose to read this book because I was curious about the pre-9/11 jihad and I was hoping to learn and draw comparisons between the mujahideen of the 1980s and groups such as Islamic State today. Despite what seems to be self-righteousness and arrogance from Collins at times, “My Jihad” was a very gripping read - his accounts of illegal border crossings and training camps allowed me to understand more about the jihadists, as footage usually shown on the news is almost exclusively of combat and people rarely see behind the curtain of violence.
“My Jihad,” an autobiography by Aukai Collins, takes place mostly in Bosnia, Kashmir, and Chechnya. Collins is an American with a troubled background who eventually found his place in Islam and ended up joining the jihadist effort after learning of the atrocities committed against Muslims by Russian soldiers in the Middle East and Eastern Europe. As such, he is conflicted when confronted with the deeds of groups such as Al-Qaeda, who slaughter innocent civilians and call it jihad. His desire for a pure jihad shows at points in his book, as there seems to be an underlying theme about whether or not what he is doing is right. Throughout the book, a very personal tone is taken as if Collins were talking to a friend, giving the readers a surprisingly casual feeling for a book about such a topic.
As for Collins’ writing style, it is relatively casual, as an autobiography usually is. The vocabulary is relatively common, with military terms and pieces of Arabic and Urdu vocabulary used to offer a more genuine feel to the accounts of his experiences. The occasional usage of sarcasm and recounts of humourous events also help to lighten the mood in otherwise serious situations. In addition, Collins’ occasional comments about the incompetency of the FBI seem very self-centered and arrogant to some, but I believe it helps people connect and relate to him even though the events in the book are very difficult to relate to. Overall, despite the lower degree of sophistication in the writing, the book is well written for its readers as an autobiography.
I recommend this book most to those who are concerned about terrorism and Islamic extremism, or those who want to learn about the pre-9/11 jihad. Even if you do not have a particular interest in such topics, I still suggest reading this book, as it also serves somewhat of an educational purpose and clears several misconceptions about jihad. Overall, I’d give this book a 4 out of 5 - it’s a very compelling and enlightening read, but sometimes readers may get frustrated with Collins’ self-righteous thinking. Just keep in mind that it offers a glimpse into what he was likely thinking at the time.
November 30, 2017
Ironically this would make for good airport reading except for the cover and title.
Irish American kid who converted to Islam while in a San Jose prison as a teen and was radicalized soon after. It's been years since I've read this, but as I recall he went to fight first in Chechnya and then the Balkans before becoming disillusioned that so much of what he was fighting for was protecting drug supply lines and smuggling routes, leading him to becoming an informant for the FBI. I seem to recall interesting stuff about sneaking around Azerbaijan/Dagestan or something, and a standoff with his hosts when he decided to go back to America.
Supposedly volunteered (or was asked?) to go undercover in an Afghanistan training camp pre-9/11, but it didn't happen, and there was some 9/11 conspiracy stuff about how he knew one of the hijackers and either warned the FBI or claimed there was no way the guy would do it.
Hard to know how much is real versus self-promotion, but an interesting story nonetheless.
Seem to recall that in his life after the book he spent time in a Mexican jail for playing bounty hunter south of the border. I'm sure still have my paperback copy of this lying around somewhere.
Irish American kid who converted to Islam while in a San Jose prison as a teen and was radicalized soon after. It's been years since I've read this, but as I recall he went to fight first in Chechnya and then the Balkans before becoming disillusioned that so much of what he was fighting for was protecting drug supply lines and smuggling routes, leading him to becoming an informant for the FBI. I seem to recall interesting stuff about sneaking around Azerbaijan/Dagestan or something, and a standoff with his hosts when he decided to go back to America.
Supposedly volunteered (or was asked?) to go undercover in an Afghanistan training camp pre-9/11, but it didn't happen, and there was some 9/11 conspiracy stuff about how he knew one of the hijackers and either warned the FBI or claimed there was no way the guy would do it.
Hard to know how much is real versus self-promotion, but an interesting story nonetheless.
Seem to recall that in his life after the book he spent time in a Mexican jail for playing bounty hunter south of the border. I'm sure still have my paperback copy of this lying around somewhere.
April 6, 2008
Sebuah keyakinan, sebuah pilihan, membawanya pada sebuah perjalanan yang mungkin tidak pernah dia bayangkan sebelumnya, dan itu nyata. Dari awal yang biasa saja, dan akan tetap menjadi biasa saja andaikan dia tidak yakin dan akhirnya memilih jalan itu.
Wow, betapa kita diberi kekuasaan untuk menentukan nasib kita sendiri meski saya percaya takdir itu ada.
Di luar itu, dalam buku ini tidak berusaha menjelaskan konsep tentang jihad itu sendiri secara lebih detail. Yang ada hanya sebuah gambaran atas sebuah realita, situasi nyata yg terjadi pada kehidupan para mujahidin,apa yang dilihat penulis saat itu dan ia alami.
Menjadi menarik ketika penulis akhirnya berada disisi lain, dimana dia menjadi bagian dari mereka yg berusaha menghentikan pergerakan para mujahidin dengan dalih keamanan dunia dan memerangi terorisme.
Pengalaman menarik.
itanx_x
Wow, betapa kita diberi kekuasaan untuk menentukan nasib kita sendiri meski saya percaya takdir itu ada.
Di luar itu, dalam buku ini tidak berusaha menjelaskan konsep tentang jihad itu sendiri secara lebih detail. Yang ada hanya sebuah gambaran atas sebuah realita, situasi nyata yg terjadi pada kehidupan para mujahidin,apa yang dilihat penulis saat itu dan ia alami.
Menjadi menarik ketika penulis akhirnya berada disisi lain, dimana dia menjadi bagian dari mereka yg berusaha menghentikan pergerakan para mujahidin dengan dalih keamanan dunia dan memerangi terorisme.
Pengalaman menarik.
itanx_x
July 13, 2007
My Jihad versi Indonesia yang saya baca...bisa jadi referensi untuk kita bagaimana sebenarnya gejolak jiwa orang-orang yang selama ini dipandang sebagai teroris hanya lantaran membela saudara seimannya...Aukai Collins cukup jujur menceritakan perang batin seorang muslim amerika yang harus juga melawan stigma mayoritas bangsa barat pada jalan yang diambilnya....memang jalan Jihad tidak ada yang bisa dibilang mudah....
August 10, 2016
My Jihad by Aukai Collins, is an autobiography following the journey of an American Mujahid. Collins tells of his horrific encounters with Usama Bin Laden and injuries that he had sustained while fighting with the Islamic Chechen Irregulars of the Chechen Republic of Ichkeria. Collins tells his story of how he would eventually go on to work as a deep cover intelligence operative for the FBI and
July 19, 2012
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's been a couple years since I read it. I actually sent Aukai or Aqil an email telling him how much I enjoyed his book. Not only did he write back, but we formed a friendship and have spoken for hours on end by phone on a variety of subjects. He's a very interesting guy, and has atleast a couple more books in him based on his adventures.
March 16, 2008
sebenarnya kisah yang ditulis dibuku ini luar biasa. perjuangan dan petualangan yang dahsyat. baca terjemahan indonesia, dan menurutku terjemahannya tidak enak dibaca. jadi tidak bisa menikmati buku ini
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August 4, 2011VERY interesting first-hand account of an American convert that joins the jihad in Chechnya, then later grows disillusioned by those who kill innocents and starts helping U.S. intelligence only to find them inept. Lost a foot/leg there. Still believes in jihad/Islam.
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September 27, 2007good book- aukai collins is so brave to write his experience.
May 21, 2008
amazing tale of western mujahadeen
September 17, 2008
This is aninteresting story. By the end I had very mixed feelings about the whole thing. It was good for me to see things from this perspective.
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December 17, 2009baru beli kemaren...kayaknya sih bagus....
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November 30, 2009Violent!
January 4, 2010
Very Well Done
September 19, 2011
A different perspective, to say the least!
August 13, 2017
65 - 2013
Menarik sih... cuma terjemahannya yang kurang sreg. Apa karena penerjemahnya sampai lima orang sekaligus?
Menarik sih... cuma terjemahannya yang kurang sreg. Apa karena penerjemahnya sampai lima orang sekaligus?
February 21, 2013
An interesting perspective full of insight from a blue-eyed American who became a Muslim and trained with radical Islamists.
Read
December 13, 2017I found interesting his perceptions of working as a source with the government.
Read
March 30, 2007dirka dirka Jihad
November 14, 2012
Freaking great book tells you what it's really like out there
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews