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Knot for Keeps: Writing the Modern Marriage
What holds two people together for life, sometimes across continents? What drives them apart even as they share their lives under the same roof? What makes marriage the only socially acceptable goal of a relationship? Are women, and men, preferring other options to marriage these days? Why are more and more marriages failing? Is it to do with changing social norms or individual expectations? This anthology takes a hard look at marriage and tries to decode this age-old alliance.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 25, 2018
7 people are currently reading
27 people want to read
About the author
Sathya Saran
25 books5 followersSathya Saran is one of India’s best-known journalists and editors. As editor, she made Femina the most successful fashion and lifestyle magazine in India. She is author of the critically acclaimed and bestselling biography Ten Years with Guru Dutt: Abrar Alvi’s Journey. She is currently working on a number of books in her capacity as consulting editor with HarperCollins India.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
April 8, 2019
The first few stories, 'Apportionments of love' by Sharanya Manivannan, 'Conjugular' by Chitra Viraraghavan and 'Heaven Forbid' by Krishna Shastri Devulapalli, almost made me want to abandon the book.
In 'Conjugular', the author uses the phrase "if you take my meaning" multiple times. I'm not sure if she meant it as a stylistic device, but it really started grating on my nerves and detracted from the story.
In 'Heaven Forbid', the author fat-shames his friend's 90+ kg wife and also writes a dialogue shaming people with mental illnesses, "Why can't she get a mean, nasty sex offender or schizophrenic who charges less, da?" ( Referring to a person with schizophrenia as a schizophrenic is not the worst crime he has committed here. Putting that person in the class of mean, nasty sex-offenders is just atrocious.)
Since I don't read Hindi poems, I skipped the one by ad guru Prasoon Joshi. I'm sure the Hindi version would have been far better than the English version, which was also presented there.
The book started working for me from Page 44, which featured a story by Noor Zaheer. From page 44 till the end of the book, which was on page 164, the stories were interesting, gripping even.
I loved 'The imperfect marriage' by Harimohan Paruvu, but it's sad to see that Harper Collins has botched up his introduction, which is featured at the end. In his introduction, a few lines from the previous biography is pasted, which is of Kalyan Ray. As a result, Harimohan Pavuru's bio erroneously states that he is married to Shobha and Aparna Sen! If I were in this author's shoes, I would be pretty angry at having been inadvertently referred to as a bigamist!
'The cost of a runaway marriage' by Neha Dixit was very informative.
On the whole, despite these lapses I mentioned, I would give this book 3 stars.
In 'Conjugular', the author uses the phrase "if you take my meaning" multiple times. I'm not sure if she meant it as a stylistic device, but it really started grating on my nerves and detracted from the story.
In 'Heaven Forbid', the author fat-shames his friend's 90+ kg wife and also writes a dialogue shaming people with mental illnesses, "Why can't she get a mean, nasty sex offender or schizophrenic who charges less, da?" ( Referring to a person with schizophrenia as a schizophrenic is not the worst crime he has committed here. Putting that person in the class of mean, nasty sex-offenders is just atrocious.)
Since I don't read Hindi poems, I skipped the one by ad guru Prasoon Joshi. I'm sure the Hindi version would have been far better than the English version, which was also presented there.
The book started working for me from Page 44, which featured a story by Noor Zaheer. From page 44 till the end of the book, which was on page 164, the stories were interesting, gripping even.
I loved 'The imperfect marriage' by Harimohan Paruvu, but it's sad to see that Harper Collins has botched up his introduction, which is featured at the end. In his introduction, a few lines from the previous biography is pasted, which is of Kalyan Ray. As a result, Harimohan Pavuru's bio erroneously states that he is married to Shobha and Aparna Sen! If I were in this author's shoes, I would be pretty angry at having been inadvertently referred to as a bigamist!
'The cost of a runaway marriage' by Neha Dixit was very informative.
On the whole, despite these lapses I mentioned, I would give this book 3 stars.
October 1, 2018
Essays on Modern Indian Marriages. Some could have been left out altogether - 'Conjugular' and 'Heaven Forbid'...both were enh. I nearly abandoned the book after those two.
The Essays get better though. An insight into Indian marriages.
'The Cost of a runaway marriage' - It actually tells you about the costs involved. There is also a funny yet hair pulling moment when two people, who simply want a non-religious wedding, explain to the babu that they are atheists or agnostics or something like that, and therefore want to get married under the Special Marriage Act........and he responds among other things "...There is no provision to convert to atheism"
'Apportionments of Love' - For the constantly single
'Keep searching, A light might appear' - On the struggle of Muslim women
'A Girl of a certain age' - Sad yet hopeful and strong
'Across Latitudes and Longitudes' - written before the Supreme Court judgement legalizing gay unions.
'What I hate most' - Most married couples?
'Our Bi-continental marriage' - Written by Aparna Sen's husband Kalyan Ray. I was surprised but not by the fact that NRIs can be quite parochial.
'The imperfect marriage' - Guess what the imperfection is........A difference in height! And to the onlookers. Not the couple themselves.
'Sacrament, Contract or Relationship' - The last essay is written by a phychiatrist who works with couples, and he details the differences or the lack of them between Old Indian Marriages and New Indian Marriages.
The Essays get better though. An insight into Indian marriages.
'The Cost of a runaway marriage' - It actually tells you about the costs involved. There is also a funny yet hair pulling moment when two people, who simply want a non-religious wedding, explain to the babu that they are atheists or agnostics or something like that, and therefore want to get married under the Special Marriage Act........and he responds among other things "...There is no provision to convert to atheism"
'Apportionments of Love' - For the constantly single
'Keep searching, A light might appear' - On the struggle of Muslim women
'A Girl of a certain age' - Sad yet hopeful and strong
'Across Latitudes and Longitudes' - written before the Supreme Court judgement legalizing gay unions.
'What I hate most' - Most married couples?
'Our Bi-continental marriage' - Written by Aparna Sen's husband Kalyan Ray. I was surprised but not by the fact that NRIs can be quite parochial.
'The imperfect marriage' - Guess what the imperfection is........A difference in height! And to the onlookers. Not the couple themselves.
'Sacrament, Contract or Relationship' - The last essay is written by a phychiatrist who works with couples, and he details the differences or the lack of them between Old Indian Marriages and New Indian Marriages.
August 25, 2019
Book name- KNOT FOR KEEPS
Genre- Contemporary realism
Writing style- Expository
Clap-Clap- Marriage is never saying ‘I told you so’.
Marriage is not licence to ignore, or taking other for granted.
Marriage is not house with walls of silence dividing the partners. Marriage is not a game of one-upmansship.
Marriage is not a social media event.
Marriage is not romance and roses. It is a gift richer and more lasting that needs constant care to keep growing.
Marriage is not beginning of happily ever after. It is the first step towards making ‘ever after’ happy indeed.
Description- This book is a collection of essays, written to explain why modern marriage is not working out and to explain why old school systems of commitment can heal many broken relationships. It’s a treat for the problem solvers.
There is no short cut for a long lasting relationship; it’s just commitment, respect, importance and few other essentials to work it out.
The problem is not compatibility, its ego issues and freedom, a lot of it, which is spoiling it.
For a good amount of love and compassion, learning to kill ego (always misinterpreted as self esteem) is what seems a bit of solution.
Number of Pages- 164
Change-O-Meter- 7/10
Genre- Contemporary realism
Writing style- Expository
Clap-Clap- Marriage is never saying ‘I told you so’.
Marriage is not licence to ignore, or taking other for granted.
Marriage is not house with walls of silence dividing the partners. Marriage is not a game of one-upmansship.
Marriage is not a social media event.
Marriage is not romance and roses. It is a gift richer and more lasting that needs constant care to keep growing.
Marriage is not beginning of happily ever after. It is the first step towards making ‘ever after’ happy indeed.
Description- This book is a collection of essays, written to explain why modern marriage is not working out and to explain why old school systems of commitment can heal many broken relationships. It’s a treat for the problem solvers.
There is no short cut for a long lasting relationship; it’s just commitment, respect, importance and few other essentials to work it out.
The problem is not compatibility, its ego issues and freedom, a lot of it, which is spoiling it.
For a good amount of love and compassion, learning to kill ego (always misinterpreted as self esteem) is what seems a bit of solution.
Number of Pages- 164
Change-O-Meter- 7/10
December 9, 2018
Only one story (written by Harimohan Paruvu) stands out in this otherwise washout collection.
November 10, 2025
I loved the first essay. The others were kinda lukewarm sadly.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews