What do you think?
Rate this book
Not Normal: The uncensored account of an extraordinary true life story
The latest bestseller from Paul Connolly, this is an uncensored account of his extraordinary true life story and lifelong struggle to overcome an abusive childhood and build a normal life for himself and his family. Literally abandoned with the rubbish at 2 weeks old and taken into the care system of the London Borough of Tower Hamlets, Paul Connolly was sent to the notorious St Leonard’s home in Essex, where he regularly heard that he was 'not normal' during years of mental, physical and sexual abuse. Childhood friendships made and lost. Total Neglect. Starvation. Sending an illiterate, very angry young man out into the world. After years of extreme violence in London during the 1980's and 90's mixing with gangsters in a dark underworld, Paul confronted memories and demons from his past in the most shocking ways - discovering that six of the eight childhood friends he grew up with in St Leonard's were no longer alive. Great friends and a loving heart transformed Paul’s world and he has gone on to help thousands of people as a specialist conditioning coach, sports injury expert, celebrity personal trainer, presenter and best selling author. He works with various charities and is a core participant in the IICSA historical child abuse enquiry providing a voice for many no longer able to speak up. Above all else, Paul is most proud of being a loving father to his two sons. This inspirational story has now been adapted and made into an independent British movie - Big Boys Don't Cry Life has been anything but normal and the demons will never go away, but Paul has learned to smile at them as many of the people that predicted the worst for him are now where they told this vulnerable little boy he would end up. This is Paul Connolly’s story and it is Not Normal
259 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 15, 2018
157 people are currently reading
290 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
April 30, 2019
Honest moving and shocking
Extremely raw and honest account of growing up in care, in what turned out to be a horrendous children's home rife with neglect and abuse. Demonstrates the damage neglect does and how strong the the human will to survive is. Extremely impressed by the author for everything he has achieved and so much admiration for him building a family life despite never knowing what love was. Well written and engaging and written with such honesty. Paul should be very proud of himself,
Extremely raw and honest account of growing up in care, in what turned out to be a horrendous children's home rife with neglect and abuse. Demonstrates the damage neglect does and how strong the the human will to survive is. Extremely impressed by the author for everything he has achieved and so much admiration for him building a family life despite never knowing what love was. Well written and engaging and written with such honesty. Paul should be very proud of himself,
June 13, 2018
Couldn't put this down
An account of a childhood spent in care at a home where sexual abuse and neglect of horrific proportions occurred over many years . After leaving care and finding himself an angry young man Paul successfully turns his life around as an adult . This book tells what it's like for children abused in care homes and how the affects of ill treatment leave scars that last a lifetime . Paul has a few run ins with the law and narrowly escaped jail at one point , he must be congratulated on his achievements and successful work in later years .He was very right to tell his story in this book
An account of a childhood spent in care at a home where sexual abuse and neglect of horrific proportions occurred over many years . After leaving care and finding himself an angry young man Paul successfully turns his life around as an adult . This book tells what it's like for children abused in care homes and how the affects of ill treatment leave scars that last a lifetime . Paul has a few run ins with the law and narrowly escaped jail at one point , he must be congratulated on his achievements and successful work in later years .He was very right to tell his story in this book
February 18, 2019
Heartbreaking
The staff at the home were evil sadistic bastards and should never have been allowed to take care of small vulnerable children I hope they are all dead and living in hell
The staff at the home were evil sadistic bastards and should never have been allowed to take care of small vulnerable children I hope they are all dead and living in hell
February 18, 2019
Such a sad story but worth knowing
Amazing courage to have lived through this and to have wrote this book. So sad that children have gone through such horrific things and it still goes on.
Amazing courage to have lived through this and to have wrote this book. So sad that children have gone through such horrific things and it still goes on.
May 29, 2019
Heartbreaking story.
May 5, 2024
loved the writing style - this is a really harrowing story of child abuse / life in care but very interesting and important
April 20, 2019
Loved this book. Amazing human being. God bless x
Amazing life story. Highly recommend this book to anyone x you're an amazing human and a survivor.glad you have found your strength to speak out about the bastards who abused many innocent children
Amazing life story. Highly recommend this book to anyone x you're an amazing human and a survivor.glad you have found your strength to speak out about the bastards who abused many innocent children
April 13, 2019
Excellent, having grown up in Hornchurch and knowing the Children’s Home was nearby wanted to read his accounts of living there , I had no idea the cruelty they suffered , great read
April 7, 2019
Inspiring, heart wrenching and heartwarming
Couldn’t put this down once I started. What an amazing person to come through the barriers of such a horrendous upbringing. Amazing to hear what he has achieved for himself and others and makes you grateful for your own childhood. An inspiration!!
Couldn’t put this down once I started. What an amazing person to come through the barriers of such a horrendous upbringing. Amazing to hear what he has achieved for himself and others and makes you grateful for your own childhood. An inspiration!!
January 14, 2019
Inspirational
Straight from the heart , this is a shocking but inspirational story of a child and his journey through life. Hard reading at times and very sad too but Paul tells his story exceptionally well. I wish him all the luck in the world, he deserves it. Respect bro
Straight from the heart , this is a shocking but inspirational story of a child and his journey through life. Hard reading at times and very sad too but Paul tells his story exceptionally well. I wish him all the luck in the world, he deserves it. Respect bro
January 14, 2019
This made me cry, nobody should be allowed to treat kids like that. Amazing story, written warts and all.
March 31, 2019
Heart breaking
Brutally honest but without over the top details, awful that the system was so corrupt and that so many youngsters were damaged mentally and physically by people supposed to protect them.
Brutally honest but without over the top details, awful that the system was so corrupt and that so many youngsters were damaged mentally and physically by people supposed to protect them.
January 7, 2019
Couldn’t put it down
Such a strong person, I really got into this and felt the emotions, I’m glad he found love and has a happy family, he deserves it
Such a strong person, I really got into this and felt the emotions, I’m glad he found love and has a happy family, he deserves it
May 30, 2019
I couldn’t put this down!
An amazingly well written account of the worst kind of failure by social services. It will definitely bring a tear to your eye but you’ll find moments where you can’t help chuckling as you get to know Paul & Liam. I finished reading this book feeling proud of someone I’ve never met
An amazingly well written account of the worst kind of failure by social services. It will definitely bring a tear to your eye but you’ll find moments where you can’t help chuckling as you get to know Paul & Liam. I finished reading this book feeling proud of someone I’ve never met
June 23, 2018
Wow I can’t find the words
What an emotional book sorry an emotional life and I can’t express how happy I feel knowing you feel wanted, and loved and your helping so many young people
I believe in that seventh son
You are a miracle making miracles to others
What an emotional book sorry an emotional life and I can’t express how happy I feel knowing you feel wanted, and loved and your helping so many young people
I believe in that seventh son
You are a miracle making miracles to others
December 21, 2018
Review
It beggars belief how these people got away with what they did but Paul should feel proud of himself that despite everything he became a great person and great man and especially a great dad xxx Good luck for the future
It beggars belief how these people got away with what they did but Paul should feel proud of himself that despite everything he became a great person and great man and especially a great dad xxx Good luck for the future
March 5, 2019
Heart breaking
Could not put this down . What a sad world we live in , this story needed to be told . I knew there was going to be no real happy ending but had to finish the book . Hope it gives others the courage to speak out against the evil in society.
Could not put this down . What a sad world we live in , this story needed to be told . I knew there was going to be no real happy ending but had to finish the book . Hope it gives others the courage to speak out against the evil in society.
January 11, 2020
Inspiring example of overcoming!
Quite sad story but with a happy ending, I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. Paul Connolly you are doing a great job, you have a gold heart.
Quite sad story but with a happy ending, I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. Paul Connolly you are doing a great job, you have a gold heart.
September 3, 2018
Wow couldn't put it down
Amazing brave man. You are an inspiration. You are a true warrior.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Amazing brave man. You are an inspiration. You are a true warrior.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
October 27, 2018
Wow
My heart goes out to all the children in this book Paul keep doing what your doing so proud to hear your living life and are a loving family man all the best xxx
My heart goes out to all the children in this book Paul keep doing what your doing so proud to hear your living life and are a loving family man all the best xxx
May 29, 2019
Well written
A brutally honest story of a horrendous childhood. Paul spends years fighting his demons but is determined to do well with his future
A brutally honest story of a horrendous childhood. Paul spends years fighting his demons but is determined to do well with his future
May 31, 2019
Sad, heartbreaking story
This is an inside view of children’s homes in years gone by Those poor children unloved unwanted and uncared for Couldn’t put it down what a story
This is an inside view of children’s homes in years gone by Those poor children unloved unwanted and uncared for Couldn’t put it down what a story
August 28, 2019
You matter!
Hard to put 5 stars to such an horrific account of childhood abuse....the stars represent the courage it must have taken to get your story out there.
Hard to put 5 stars to such an horrific account of childhood abuse....the stars represent the courage it must have taken to get your story out there.
September 16, 2025
“Literally abandoned with the rubbish at 2 weeks old and taken into the care system of the London Borough of Tower Hamlets, Paul Connolly was sent to the notorious St Leonard’s home in Essex, where he regularly heard that he was 'not normal' during years of mental, physical and sexual abuse. Childhood friendships made and lost. Total Neglect. Starvation. Sending an illiterate, very angry young man out into the world.
After years of extreme violence in London during the 1980's and 90's mixing with gangsters in a dark underworld, Paul confronted memories and demons from his past in the most shocking ways - discovering that six of the eight childhood friends he grew up with in St Leonard's were no longer alive.
Great friends and a loving heart transformed Paul’s world and he has gone on to help thousands of people as a specialist conditioning coach, sports injury expert, celebrity personal trainer, presenter and best selling author.
He works with various charities and is a core participant in the IICSA historical child abuse enquiry providing a voice for many no longer able to speak up. Above all else, Paul is most proud of being a loving father to his two sons.”
After years of extreme violence in London during the 1980's and 90's mixing with gangsters in a dark underworld, Paul confronted memories and demons from his past in the most shocking ways - discovering that six of the eight childhood friends he grew up with in St Leonard's were no longer alive.
Great friends and a loving heart transformed Paul’s world and he has gone on to help thousands of people as a specialist conditioning coach, sports injury expert, celebrity personal trainer, presenter and best selling author.
He works with various charities and is a core participant in the IICSA historical child abuse enquiry providing a voice for many no longer able to speak up. Above all else, Paul is most proud of being a loving father to his two sons.”
January 31, 2020
Horrific.
This book is so heartbreaking, infuriating, sickening and sad I am astounded it happened such a short time ago. How was such depravity allowed to go unnoticed ? I feel furious for Paul and all the other children who suffered so horribly at the hands of such evil creatures. The story Paul tells is so eloquent and his own suffering seems to take a back seat a lot of the time while trying to protect the younger children. Even though the language would usually stop me reading, for once it was almost necessary to his story and, truth to tell, I felt every swear word was justified! He seems a genuine person, who fortunately attracted a lot of good people to his side, a luxury so many of his fellow sufferers were denied. I wish him a long and happy life and maybe one day, the inner peace he deserves.
This book is so heartbreaking, infuriating, sickening and sad I am astounded it happened such a short time ago. How was such depravity allowed to go unnoticed ? I feel furious for Paul and all the other children who suffered so horribly at the hands of such evil creatures. The story Paul tells is so eloquent and his own suffering seems to take a back seat a lot of the time while trying to protect the younger children. Even though the language would usually stop me reading, for once it was almost necessary to his story and, truth to tell, I felt every swear word was justified! He seems a genuine person, who fortunately attracted a lot of good people to his side, a luxury so many of his fellow sufferers were denied. I wish him a long and happy life and maybe one day, the inner peace he deserves.
Read
December 10, 2025It’s difficult to rate someone’s memoir that is full of pain and trauma, but this one was difficult to get through. First, I wasn’t informed until after I purchased the audio that it was “read” by AI. I have no interest in supporting books read by computers. Second, the story was difficult to get through not just because of the terrible nature of what happened to the author, but the narrative was not consistent. I skimmed through the last half of the book, much of which seemed it didn’t need to be added
I cannot imagine what this author endured growing up in this abominable foster system, but this book was a difficult read aside from the tragedies that happened to him
I cannot imagine what this author endured growing up in this abominable foster system, but this book was a difficult read aside from the tragedies that happened to him
November 12, 2022
An inspiration to us all
I am so sorry that you were so let down by our systems. I pray that things have improved for children in care but fear that lessons have not been learned everywhere and that as I type children are suffering as you suffered. You are an inspiration to those children and to us all to have got through it at all let alone to have achieved the happiness and success you have achieved. Auntie Coral was so very wrong. Thank you for telling your story and for the work you do to help children and improve the care we give them.
I am so sorry that you were so let down by our systems. I pray that things have improved for children in care but fear that lessons have not been learned everywhere and that as I type children are suffering as you suffered. You are an inspiration to those children and to us all to have got through it at all let alone to have achieved the happiness and success you have achieved. Auntie Coral was so very wrong. Thank you for telling your story and for the work you do to help children and improve the care we give them.
April 18, 2020
Brings back a,lot of memories
Survivors of any type of physical abuse. Sexual abuse and mental abuse never truly leaves the person who was subjected to the constant bombardment of how you are worthless, will never amount to anything besides a revolving door in and out of jail. If you are a survivor this will bring up some old memories you thought you had locked,away. Be very cautious when reading, be gentle with yourself and know you aren’t alone in thid
Survivors of any type of physical abuse. Sexual abuse and mental abuse never truly leaves the person who was subjected to the constant bombardment of how you are worthless, will never amount to anything besides a revolving door in and out of jail. If you are a survivor this will bring up some old memories you thought you had locked,away. Be very cautious when reading, be gentle with yourself and know you aren’t alone in thid
December 27, 2020
The Wickedness of Some Adults
This book has now told me how these poor little mites suffered in these homes back in the days when nobody cared and the most wicked people were the people in charge or could change the rules to suit themselves. To this day I never trust anybody in authority or in a higher position because to me they use their power to do what they like. Paul Connolly has bought some issues back to me but I say God bless him for writing this book
This book has now told me how these poor little mites suffered in these homes back in the days when nobody cared and the most wicked people were the people in charge or could change the rules to suit themselves. To this day I never trust anybody in authority or in a higher position because to me they use their power to do what they like. Paul Connolly has bought some issues back to me but I say God bless him for writing this book
January 7, 2023
Finished this book tonight 5*/5*
Wow! Although i have seen the film, and i knew what happened this book was upsetting to read, (the film changed a few things, i read this and i found out he hadn't done a 10 stretch for GBH/ABH)
This book is uncensored, so much details are on them pages, it must have been horrific to go through all the abuse etc. I am glad he has sorted himself out and now has a wife and kids
Wow! Although i have seen the film, and i knew what happened this book was upsetting to read, (the film changed a few things, i read this and i found out he hadn't done a 10 stretch for GBH/ABH)
This book is uncensored, so much details are on them pages, it must have been horrific to go through all the abuse etc. I am glad he has sorted himself out and now has a wife and kids
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews