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Brian Helsing: The World's Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter #5
The Wicked Witch of the North
Scotland: Land of Haggis and Sideways Rain.
Not that he's ever been there before, but Brian isn't the type to let a lack of expertise stop him from making sweeping generalisations.
What he does know about Scotland, however, is that there's a witch on the prowl. A baby-eating one, in fact, which on the Brian Scale Of Supernatural Nastiness ranks a pretty high 7.5/10.
With his girlfriend having left him for the arms of another woman, and his best mate Neil seemingly dead-set on throwing himself into harm's way at every available opportunity, Brian has no choice but to charge headlong into this latest mission with all his customary lack of skill and bumbling idiocy.
Fresh hellish training at Heimlich's hands, to prepare him for the possibility of magical combat. Fresh advice from the long dead XII.
And the fresh realisation that yet another mission is clearly going to go tits up, right from the off.
Red-haired, blue-skinned beauties who are not what they first appear. Psychopathic nuns with unsavoury habits. People who insist upon shouting at him in incomprehensible Scottish. Square sausages. Demons of his past conflicting with his duties of the present.
And the dawning knowledge that Brian, despite all his failings, is actually starting to change, and become more like his Helsing forebears than he would have ever thought possible.
++Warning: This book contains stereotypes, tropes, swearing, alcohol, and supernatural shenanigans up the yazoo. It is recommended to pair this book with a bottle of Doom Bar, or, if in Scotland, a pint of McEwan's Champion.++
Not that he's ever been there before, but Brian isn't the type to let a lack of expertise stop him from making sweeping generalisations.
What he does know about Scotland, however, is that there's a witch on the prowl. A baby-eating one, in fact, which on the Brian Scale Of Supernatural Nastiness ranks a pretty high 7.5/10.
With his girlfriend having left him for the arms of another woman, and his best mate Neil seemingly dead-set on throwing himself into harm's way at every available opportunity, Brian has no choice but to charge headlong into this latest mission with all his customary lack of skill and bumbling idiocy.
Fresh hellish training at Heimlich's hands, to prepare him for the possibility of magical combat. Fresh advice from the long dead XII.
And the fresh realisation that yet another mission is clearly going to go tits up, right from the off.
Red-haired, blue-skinned beauties who are not what they first appear. Psychopathic nuns with unsavoury habits. People who insist upon shouting at him in incomprehensible Scottish. Square sausages. Demons of his past conflicting with his duties of the present.
And the dawning knowledge that Brian, despite all his failings, is actually starting to change, and become more like his Helsing forebears than he would have ever thought possible.
++Warning: This book contains stereotypes, tropes, swearing, alcohol, and supernatural shenanigans up the yazoo. It is recommended to pair this book with a bottle of Doom Bar, or, if in Scotland, a pint of McEwan's Champion.++
- GenresUrban Fantasy
169 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 19, 2018
27 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Gareth K. Pengelly
26 books45 followersGaz Pengelly lives in rural UK with his girlfriend, a hamster and a part time labrador.
When not writing, he can be found careening around on his motorcycle or sitting in the garden with a pipe and a nice pint of real ale, depending on his mood.
Gaz's fantasy and horror books are inspired by his favourite authors; namely Masterton, Herbert, Brooks, Pratchett, Gemmell, amongst others.
Find his books on his website, here:
http://www.garethkpengelly.co.uk
When not writing, he can be found careening around on his motorcycle or sitting in the garden with a pipe and a nice pint of real ale, depending on his mood.
Gaz's fantasy and horror books are inspired by his favourite authors; namely Masterton, Herbert, Brooks, Pratchett, Gemmell, amongst others.
Find his books on his website, here:
http://www.garethkpengelly.co.uk
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
October 4, 2020
Another thoroughly enjoyable book chronicling Brian’s madcap adventures. This time with him travelling to one of our own home nations for a new challenge that tests his moral fibre. Great to see how he gets manages manages to find his was into and out of such tricky situations.
September 30, 2018
Brian is up to his neck in trouble again, poor guy! He's always in some type s~~t , it just varies in depth.
Get ready for some laughter and smiles all throughout this book. I thoroughly enjoyed plot in this story. In my opinion, the author writes hit after hit, after hit, in Helsings world.
I always grin and even laugh out loud at times, when I read a Helsing story. None of them have been boring or mundane. No, this series has kept me well entertained in each iteration. With a fabulous cast of characters, inventive storylines and interesting, colourful locations, on top of that, there are the well written action scenes, the witty dialogue and the main character's development. I just love it.
Much of the dorkiness and his social awkwardness in Brian's character I can utterly relate to. That brought this story close to my heart, which I really like.
Brian is sent on a mission to a private school who are having a problem with history teachers going missing. In the class is a young vampire called Alice.
At first Brian tries diplomacy, but that quickly goes out the window after the vampire sets the whole class of teenage girls, first into a trance, then at poor Brian. They mob him, but in usual Helsing style, not only does he get the girls off him, but he also manages to get himself and the vampire out of a locked classroom and into the car park, using his Helsing skills. At which point, Neil, using Bertha's weapons, promptly blows Alice, the vampire, into tiny pieces. Job done!
But now that Brian has finished his current assignment, he realises that that means that he will have to get on with the training he's been putting off for some time. And he is told by the team of Masters, that his next assignment is to destroy a particularly unpleasant witch. The witch is recorded to be a baby eating fiend. However, things are far from what they seem. After facing the magical defence training, which he hated, he sets off to travel to Scotland.
Nothing goes as planned. Neil invites himself along, which is both a good but potentially bad thing. But at least Brian has a drinking buddy, right? Someone to get completely rat a**ed with. Yeah, this assignment could turn out to be ok. Couldn't it? What could go wrong? Well Neil could get seriously injured, or even die. So, yeah, things could go wrong, and they certainly do in spectacular fashion!
Get ready for some laughter and smiles all throughout this book. I thoroughly enjoyed plot in this story. In my opinion, the author writes hit after hit, after hit, in Helsings world.
I always grin and even laugh out loud at times, when I read a Helsing story. None of them have been boring or mundane. No, this series has kept me well entertained in each iteration. With a fabulous cast of characters, inventive storylines and interesting, colourful locations, on top of that, there are the well written action scenes, the witty dialogue and the main character's development. I just love it.
Much of the dorkiness and his social awkwardness in Brian's character I can utterly relate to. That brought this story close to my heart, which I really like.
Brian is sent on a mission to a private school who are having a problem with history teachers going missing. In the class is a young vampire called Alice.
At first Brian tries diplomacy, but that quickly goes out the window after the vampire sets the whole class of teenage girls, first into a trance, then at poor Brian. They mob him, but in usual Helsing style, not only does he get the girls off him, but he also manages to get himself and the vampire out of a locked classroom and into the car park, using his Helsing skills. At which point, Neil, using Bertha's weapons, promptly blows Alice, the vampire, into tiny pieces. Job done!
But now that Brian has finished his current assignment, he realises that that means that he will have to get on with the training he's been putting off for some time. And he is told by the team of Masters, that his next assignment is to destroy a particularly unpleasant witch. The witch is recorded to be a baby eating fiend. However, things are far from what they seem. After facing the magical defence training, which he hated, he sets off to travel to Scotland.
Nothing goes as planned. Neil invites himself along, which is both a good but potentially bad thing. But at least Brian has a drinking buddy, right? Someone to get completely rat a**ed with. Yeah, this assignment could turn out to be ok. Couldn't it? What could go wrong? Well Neil could get seriously injured, or even die. So, yeah, things could go wrong, and they certainly do in spectacular fashion!
June 23, 2018
Brian does it again!
A delightful mix of ancient lore, highbrow concepts and lowbrow humor, mixed in perfect proportions. Brian is sent to stop a child-eating witch, but as often the case in Brian’s missions, things are not as they appear, and it is up to Brian to find the truth. Using his unusual magical proclivities and his Cornish common sense, Brian finds out the true villains of the piece. The fifth book in the series is a great read, and there are hints of an upcoming event that suggests a future confrontation. I look forward to the next book in the Brian Helsing series.
A delightful mix of ancient lore, highbrow concepts and lowbrow humor, mixed in perfect proportions. Brian is sent to stop a child-eating witch, but as often the case in Brian’s missions, things are not as they appear, and it is up to Brian to find the truth. Using his unusual magical proclivities and his Cornish common sense, Brian finds out the true villains of the piece. The fifth book in the series is a great read, and there are hints of an upcoming event that suggests a future confrontation. I look forward to the next book in the Brian Helsing series.
November 16, 2018
Incredible series
This Gelding is a diamond in the rough, but the series is a sparkling perfect one. Each book progresses our hero from noon to stardom a little bit at a time without losing you. No matter the problem our hero will find a way to solve it that you never expected. I am getting sad that with each book i get closer to the current last book, I love it to much to stop lol
This Gelding is a diamond in the rough, but the series is a sparkling perfect one. Each book progresses our hero from noon to stardom a little bit at a time without losing you. No matter the problem our hero will find a way to solve it that you never expected. I am getting sad that with each book i get closer to the current last book, I love it to much to stop lol
September 5, 2018
Again a quick but very enjoyable read.
Like the last few, Gareth games the story almost180 degrees away from where it started, making for a quick and with book. I'm enjoying his innuendos, his use of quotes "had to look up the Doc Brown "Back to the Future" quote.
Just try this one, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
Like the last few, Gareth games the story almost180 degrees away from where it started, making for a quick and with book. I'm enjoying his innuendos, his use of quotes "had to look up the Doc Brown "Back to the Future" quote.
Just try this one, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
June 2, 2018
Brilliant series of books
Five stars again, love these books and the characters. I hope there will be more books. If you want something a bit different to read then I suggest you try these books.
Five stars again, love these books and the characters. I hope there will be more books. If you want something a bit different to read then I suggest you try these books.
March 17, 2021
Very Fun Read
Oh my. This book had scenes in it that I would have laughed out loud if I saw them in a movie! Seriously!
Spoilers:
Sorry, just cannot help myself. Evil Geriatric Nuns. Seriously brilliant storyline.
Oh my. This book had scenes in it that I would have laughed out loud if I saw them in a movie! Seriously!
Spoilers:
Sorry, just cannot help myself. Evil Geriatric Nuns. Seriously brilliant storyline.
March 24, 2022
If you can ignore the sexualised writing of schoolgirls and the over the top Scottish stereotyping, then there's a fun little adventure buried deep within this book. The main love interest manages to be slightly less cringe than in the previous books I've read in this series.
June 23, 2024
This is the fifth of the Brian Helsing series. This time Brian Helsing is sent to Scotland to find and destroy a witch who eats children. During this time Brian finds himself competing in the Highland Games while being bewitched by the witch herself. A cute read.
June 19, 2018
Wonderful!
I read all five books in a few days and loved everyone. Great characters, horrible villains, and funny and fascinating throughout. Can't wait for the next one.
I read all five books in a few days and loved everyone. Great characters, horrible villains, and funny and fascinating throughout. Can't wait for the next one.
June 29, 2018
Excellent book!
I just love Brian. He marches to his own beat, but he always gets the job done his way. Usually a lot of funny things and one liners ensue. Great book!
I just love Brian. He marches to his own beat, but he always gets the job done his way. Usually a lot of funny things and one liners ensue. Great book!
October 13, 2019
This is a great series and I like how each book is different in that they are all not just find the monster and kill it. Brian really shows his heart and understanding in this book.
December 28, 2021
Fun read
I’m enjoying the unlikely vampire hunters journey. A worthy series to binge read, which I’m doing. I may have to try the authors other series.
I’m enjoying the unlikely vampire hunters journey. A worthy series to binge read, which I’m doing. I may have to try the authors other series.
October 10, 2024
This story is about Brian encountering a witch that supposedly kidnaps children. Brian always finds a way to bring out the truth of the matter.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews