What do you think?
Rate this book
Is Fred in the Refrigerator?: Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life
"A masterfully written memoir-meets-educational-meets-inspirational tale that I couldn't put down." Ashley Smith, PhD, coauthor of Childhood Anxiety Disorders
A gripping memoir that gives voice to the invisible, life-destroying power of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and how one woman stood up to fear, embraced the unknown, and reclaimed her life.
Even at nine years old, Shala Nicely knew there was nothing normal about the horrifying thoughts that tormented her at bedtime, or the nightly rituals she summoned to beat them back. More importantly, she knew to obey her mind's Rule #1: keep its secret, or risk losing everything and everyone she loved.
It would be almost two decades before she learned the name of the menacing monster holding her hostage: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It would take years longer to piece together the keys to recovery that would change her life forever, beginning with the day she broke her monster's silence.
Writing with wry wit, unflinching candor, and resounding insight, Shala takes readers on a riveting journey into the dark and dimly understood inner workings of OCD and its frequent co-conspirator, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Thwarted repeatedly as she struggles to escape the clutches of these formidable foes, she finally stumbles upon an unexpected path to freedom. As she journeys into the heart of fear to reclaim her life, she weaves a self-compassionate roadmap to recovery: to living in an uncertain world and being happy anyway.
With an Afterword by Reid Wilson, PhD offering powerful guidance for applying Shala's strategies in daily life, Is Fred in the Refrigerator? will leave legions of those affected by mental illness feeling seen, understood, and empowered.
"A memoir ... about all of us with this kind of mind." Jon Hershfield, MFT, author of Overcoming Harm OCD
"One of the clearest descriptions of the experience of OCD ... you'll cry, you'll cheer, and you'll put your shoulders back with Shala as she conquers the OCD demon." Randy O. Frost, PhD, Harold and Elsa Siipola Israel Professor of Psychology at Smith College and coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things
A gripping memoir that gives voice to the invisible, life-destroying power of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and how one woman stood up to fear, embraced the unknown, and reclaimed her life.
Even at nine years old, Shala Nicely knew there was nothing normal about the horrifying thoughts that tormented her at bedtime, or the nightly rituals she summoned to beat them back. More importantly, she knew to obey her mind's Rule #1: keep its secret, or risk losing everything and everyone she loved.
It would be almost two decades before she learned the name of the menacing monster holding her hostage: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It would take years longer to piece together the keys to recovery that would change her life forever, beginning with the day she broke her monster's silence.
Writing with wry wit, unflinching candor, and resounding insight, Shala takes readers on a riveting journey into the dark and dimly understood inner workings of OCD and its frequent co-conspirator, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Thwarted repeatedly as she struggles to escape the clutches of these formidable foes, she finally stumbles upon an unexpected path to freedom. As she journeys into the heart of fear to reclaim her life, she weaves a self-compassionate roadmap to recovery: to living in an uncertain world and being happy anyway.
With an Afterword by Reid Wilson, PhD offering powerful guidance for applying Shala's strategies in daily life, Is Fred in the Refrigerator? will leave legions of those affected by mental illness feeling seen, understood, and empowered.
"A memoir ... about all of us with this kind of mind." Jon Hershfield, MFT, author of Overcoming Harm OCD
"One of the clearest descriptions of the experience of OCD ... you'll cry, you'll cheer, and you'll put your shoulders back with Shala as she conquers the OCD demon." Randy O. Frost, PhD, Harold and Elsa Siipola Israel Professor of Psychology at Smith College and coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things
312 pages, Paperback
First published May 29, 2018
147 people are currently reading
1202 people want to read
About the author
Shala Nicely
2 books13 followersShala Nicely, LPC, is a cognitive behavioral therapist in metro Atlanta, GA, specializing in the treatment of OCD and related disorders. She is the co-author with Jon Hershfield, MFT of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks and Skills for Living Joyfully. She was the keynote speaker for the 2013 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) conference with the story of her triumph over OCD, “Is Fred in the Refrigerator?” Shala promotes the power of turning personal challenges into service to others as an advocate for The Adversity 2 Advocacy Alliance. She is cofounder, with Jeff Bell, of BeyondtheDoubt.com, an initiative dedicated to helping people learn to thrive through uncertainty and the fear and doubt it creates. Shala also blogs for Psychology Today, offering an inside perspective on life with OCD and the lessons of uncertainty.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
April 10, 2019
The writer isn’t particularly great with prose—dialogue is awkward and strange similes pop out of nowhere—-But she nails the concept of “OCD as an actual character in her life,” like it’s never been done before.
June 26, 2018
The attitude matters when it comes to OCD. Maybe it´s the most outstanding message if I´m to catch Shalas story in one sentence. This is such an empowering book, and the attitude of Shala has the potential to spill over to the reader. Nothing can stop her, not even OCD.
After many years of suffering Shala was reached by the challenging message by Dr Reid Wilson, how to conquer anxiety through a paradoxal approach. When the anxiety hits her she stares into it´s face and instead of falling into the flight or fight reaction, she voluntarily puts her shoulders back and tells the anxiety/the OCD monster “I want this anxiety, I want this uncertainty!!” and then she just pushes through. Over and over again.
Shala is an incredible story teller. She describes her inner reality in an honest and authentic way. It´s amazing how she externalizes her OCD, and it´s so exciting to follow her creative dialogues with the little monster. To me the factor of recognition is high. This story made me laugh, and cry and laugh again. But most of all the book gives me hope. All of us, suffering this disorder, need hope and motivation to fight. We also need role models who have tried the tools and have seen the light in the tunnel. This is far from a sugarcoated narrative. Openly Shala shares the ups and downs of her struggle. The reader is invited into her fight and gives the sense that OCD recovery is a lifelong journey. And that if you don´t quit you can learn to manage the OCD and live a life where you drive the bus, not OCD.
Who will benefit from reading this book?
If you suffer from OCD: this inspiring book is for you. You will know you´re not alone and there is a way forward, but you will have to learn new ways to manage the anxiety and the tricky little beast called OCD.
If you have a friend or a family member struggling with OCD, it´s hard to understand how ridiculous and debilitating it can be; read this book for a better understanding.
If you are a therapist; this book is for you. You will gain insight and precious knowledge.
If you have read Dr Reid Wilsons´s excellent book “Stopping the noise in your head” – Shalas book is a must read. Her story gives life to the theories of Dr Wilson.
If you have read “When in doubt, make belief” by Jeff Bell, you must read this one! It´s amazing to see how Shala applies the “See the universe as friendly” in her life.
I ´m so thankful that Shala refused to listen to the voice of OCD, telling her not to write this story, and I´m so thankful that I had the opportunity to read it. I´m sure “Fred…” will inspire and help people to push through and dare to challenge their own OCD monster.
After many years of suffering Shala was reached by the challenging message by Dr Reid Wilson, how to conquer anxiety through a paradoxal approach. When the anxiety hits her she stares into it´s face and instead of falling into the flight or fight reaction, she voluntarily puts her shoulders back and tells the anxiety/the OCD monster “I want this anxiety, I want this uncertainty!!” and then she just pushes through. Over and over again.
Shala is an incredible story teller. She describes her inner reality in an honest and authentic way. It´s amazing how she externalizes her OCD, and it´s so exciting to follow her creative dialogues with the little monster. To me the factor of recognition is high. This story made me laugh, and cry and laugh again. But most of all the book gives me hope. All of us, suffering this disorder, need hope and motivation to fight. We also need role models who have tried the tools and have seen the light in the tunnel. This is far from a sugarcoated narrative. Openly Shala shares the ups and downs of her struggle. The reader is invited into her fight and gives the sense that OCD recovery is a lifelong journey. And that if you don´t quit you can learn to manage the OCD and live a life where you drive the bus, not OCD.
Who will benefit from reading this book?
If you suffer from OCD: this inspiring book is for you. You will know you´re not alone and there is a way forward, but you will have to learn new ways to manage the anxiety and the tricky little beast called OCD.
If you have a friend or a family member struggling with OCD, it´s hard to understand how ridiculous and debilitating it can be; read this book for a better understanding.
If you are a therapist; this book is for you. You will gain insight and precious knowledge.
If you have read Dr Reid Wilsons´s excellent book “Stopping the noise in your head” – Shalas book is a must read. Her story gives life to the theories of Dr Wilson.
If you have read “When in doubt, make belief” by Jeff Bell, you must read this one! It´s amazing to see how Shala applies the “See the universe as friendly” in her life.
I ´m so thankful that Shala refused to listen to the voice of OCD, telling her not to write this story, and I´m so thankful that I had the opportunity to read it. I´m sure “Fred…” will inspire and help people to push through and dare to challenge their own OCD monster.
February 20, 2020
I think it’s amazing when people share their experiences to help others especially in the context of mental health. OCD especially is surrounded with so many misconceptions. I thought Ms Nicely did a great job of blending her personal story while informing the reader of the symptoms, traits and treatment for OCD. I really liked some of the concepts Ms. Nicely highlighted including the fact that OCD morphs and takes different forms and doesn’t just stay with the original obsession like germ or disease phobias, intrusive thoughts, or hypochondria. She makes a point to remind readers that OCD can be manipulative and you can’t bargain or compromise with the thoughts. I liked how she emphasized that “it’s not the content, it’s the uncertainty” that needs to be the focus of treatment. When trying to help my family member, their focus was always on the content and who’s OCD is worse. I feel people who have OCD as well as family members can greatly benefit from ready Ms, Nicely’s personal journey.
April 2, 2022
super interesting!! i really enjoyed this book - i learned a lot about OCD and universally helpful thought tactics!
November 20, 2018
Great at the beginning. So-so middle. The end is too sweet.
May 29, 2019
4 stars. This was a super engaging and fast read, a memoir. Shala is an admirable person on many levels, one of those remarkable people who are successful on many levels. I liked how she kept growing and how my attitude changed toward her.
I started off being sympathetic to her from the story of the accident she barely survived as a small child, to being pleased at her recovering and thriving, then being annoyed and irritated at her consistent high-achievement in multiple areas of her life in which success eluded me in mine, to finally being happy for her as she navigated through treatment for OCD.
Deducting 1 star because for me, this book didn't get truly interesting until Part III.
Who should read this?
Anyone who has OCD or loves someone with OCD.
It also will help those suffering from related disorders, such as GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Panic Disorder, Hoarding, etc.
Why?
You can get into Shala's story very quickly and she writes clearly and well. This is one you can finish within a relatively short period of time.
What I liked best:
The title is great and the cover photo.
It expresses exactly how the Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) treatment for OCD works in some ways much more clearly than the "how-to" manual I am currently reading, because it is written from the OCD sufferer's perspective instead of the therapist's perspective.
I liked her personification of her OCD as a comical little creature the size and shape of a dog toy.
I learned a lot about anxiety and uncertainty that I can apply to approaching problems in my own life.
I started off being sympathetic to her from the story of the accident she barely survived as a small child, to being pleased at her recovering and thriving, then being annoyed and irritated at her consistent high-achievement in multiple areas of her life in which success eluded me in mine, to finally being happy for her as she navigated through treatment for OCD.
Deducting 1 star because for me, this book didn't get truly interesting until Part III.
Who should read this?
Anyone who has OCD or loves someone with OCD.
It also will help those suffering from related disorders, such as GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Panic Disorder, Hoarding, etc.
Why?
You can get into Shala's story very quickly and she writes clearly and well. This is one you can finish within a relatively short period of time.
What I liked best:
The title is great and the cover photo.
It expresses exactly how the Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) treatment for OCD works in some ways much more clearly than the "how-to" manual I am currently reading, because it is written from the OCD sufferer's perspective instead of the therapist's perspective.
I liked her personification of her OCD as a comical little creature the size and shape of a dog toy.
I learned a lot about anxiety and uncertainty that I can apply to approaching problems in my own life.
Read
October 25, 2025Not sure about the rating, but this was an interesting read. It’s all about a person’s life with OCD - and it was very enlightening. The writer is very creative and has a way with words. If you think you have OCD or know someone who does, parts of it can be helpful, but a few caveats….
First, as a Christian, I am so thankful we have Christ who can truly help us. And part of His help can absolutely lead people to diagnosis and treatment! He doesn’t want us to live in fear of anything, including the fears brought on by OCD.
Also, the “choose to believe the universe is friendly” theme was a bit problematic for me because to me, as a believer, the universe itself is not a being. I do, however, get the point of thinking positively instead of assuming everything bad is going to happen always.
Also, I was having trouble with the “I want to feel uncertain, anxious, etc.” parts of it.
Also, beware of the language when picking up this book.
In my next book on this topic, I’d love to read about it from a Christian perspective and see how the treatment and perspective differs. I understand the idea of the ERP therapy; especially the response prevention and keeping yourself from doing the rituals you’d normally do when an obsessive thought occurs. But sometimes an OCD ritual can be prayer, and I don’t know that God would want us to stop praying even in those moments. That’s a tough one when it comes to it being an OCD ritual.
I got lost with the exposure scripts and talking to the OCD. In fact, the longer the book went on, the more complicated it got.
And I’m not sure I can get behind everything in the afterword when it comes to OCD purposely trying to ruin someone’s life, as if they are a person or an oppressor. It’s a disorder and I think personifying it can actually give it too much attention and power. But that’s just my two cents 😅
In a nutshell, this poor lady suffered for decades before actually having a name for what she was suffering with, which is half the battle I believe.
Also, I think it’s important to understand that OCD isn’t just the stereotype of “I want things in order”, it’s a lot more complex. I think that OCD is largely misunderstood by the general populace.
First, as a Christian, I am so thankful we have Christ who can truly help us. And part of His help can absolutely lead people to diagnosis and treatment! He doesn’t want us to live in fear of anything, including the fears brought on by OCD.
Also, the “choose to believe the universe is friendly” theme was a bit problematic for me because to me, as a believer, the universe itself is not a being. I do, however, get the point of thinking positively instead of assuming everything bad is going to happen always.
Also, I was having trouble with the “I want to feel uncertain, anxious, etc.” parts of it.
Also, beware of the language when picking up this book.
In my next book on this topic, I’d love to read about it from a Christian perspective and see how the treatment and perspective differs. I understand the idea of the ERP therapy; especially the response prevention and keeping yourself from doing the rituals you’d normally do when an obsessive thought occurs. But sometimes an OCD ritual can be prayer, and I don’t know that God would want us to stop praying even in those moments. That’s a tough one when it comes to it being an OCD ritual.
I got lost with the exposure scripts and talking to the OCD. In fact, the longer the book went on, the more complicated it got.
And I’m not sure I can get behind everything in the afterword when it comes to OCD purposely trying to ruin someone’s life, as if they are a person or an oppressor. It’s a disorder and I think personifying it can actually give it too much attention and power. But that’s just my two cents 😅
In a nutshell, this poor lady suffered for decades before actually having a name for what she was suffering with, which is half the battle I believe.
Also, I think it’s important to understand that OCD isn’t just the stereotype of “I want things in order”, it’s a lot more complex. I think that OCD is largely misunderstood by the general populace.
June 25, 2018
Shala Nicely’s memoir tells, what is for many of us with OCD, an all-too familiar tale. It goes something like this: A child is suddenly overcome by crippling anxiety that has no seemingly rational basis. The child does her best to keep her terrible secret to herself and not show the world what she’s going through. She grows into an adult, and the fears shift again and again until finally, the adult realizes that what she’s been dealing with all these years is obsessive-compulsive disorder. At some point, she discovers the only really effective therapy for OCD, exposure and response prevention. This doesn’t solve all of her problems, but she is finally able to live a normal, sometimes even happy, life.
If the arc of Nicely’s story is familiar, the presentation of it is rare. In fact, it is of such a superb quality that I was taken aback. Here’s an excerpt about how her OCD became a constant dance partner:
“Panicked, I’d try to focus on the voices that offered reassurance, logic, reason—but they always slipped away, muffled by relentless catcalls from scythe-carrying specters of death who never left the theater. The theater where my mind and I engaged in a never-ending, exhausting pas de deux.”
She writes equally well about her recovery, addressing her disorder directly:
“‘Did you know that having a monster like you is the tenth-leading cause of disability in the world?’”
My OCD, looking a little shamefaced, had the decency to lower its head, a tacit acknowledgement of its latent, life-destroying power.”
A terrific read, whether you’ve been hurled onto the dance floor by OCD or just want to know one brave dancer’s story.
If the arc of Nicely’s story is familiar, the presentation of it is rare. In fact, it is of such a superb quality that I was taken aback. Here’s an excerpt about how her OCD became a constant dance partner:
“Panicked, I’d try to focus on the voices that offered reassurance, logic, reason—but they always slipped away, muffled by relentless catcalls from scythe-carrying specters of death who never left the theater. The theater where my mind and I engaged in a never-ending, exhausting pas de deux.”
She writes equally well about her recovery, addressing her disorder directly:
“‘Did you know that having a monster like you is the tenth-leading cause of disability in the world?’”
My OCD, looking a little shamefaced, had the decency to lower its head, a tacit acknowledgement of its latent, life-destroying power.”
A terrific read, whether you’ve been hurled onto the dance floor by OCD or just want to know one brave dancer’s story.
February 4, 2020
I appreciated this book on many levels (and OCD resource, a memoir, a learning experience, a story), and I think it's a great resource for those who have OCD, who have a loved one with OCD, or who want to understand how OCD can take over someone's life. It deftly describes what OCD is (a life-altering mental illness) and what it is not (the picture that most people have of OCD - someone preferring their pencil to be straight on their desk, etc.). Some people may find Nicely's vision of OCD as a physical creature a little hokey, but I thinks it aids in understanding how someone can be battling something that feels both a part and not a part of them. Above all, I think that Nicely's focus on hope and a life fully lived after diagnosis is important to any readers who may be feeling really overwhelmed.
April 29, 2023
Wow--Shala's road to recovery is so clear and she makes it very relatable. I find her imagery and explanations so easy to follow, and her externalization and personifications for anxiety and her OCD are so well done. A friend recommended this to me and I'm so glad she did. Shala Nicely also provides connections to lots of other resources and authors on this topic, which I find so helpful! I highly recommend for anyone interested recovering from OCD, interested in learning about OCD, or a person who has a loved one with the disorder.
June 12, 2025
a really fascinating memoir about living with OCD! there are so many stereotypes about what OCD is like, and through reading this my eyes were opened to the whole world of experiencing this disorder. it’s so much more complicated & deeply rooted than I thought. the Lord created our brains so intricately, but that means these disorders are so intricate as well! though the author has significantly healed from OCD, I’m in awe that every daily interaction with her OCD is a mental fight.
April 10, 2025
I was told this book would 100% tell me whether I have anxiety or OCD...it did not. I probably just need to read it again, take better notes, look into other reviews on it, and create a detailed word doc on my thoughts and findings about particular sections of the book...lol.
Either way, this was one of the easiest and most entertaining non fiction reads I have ever gotten through!
Either way, this was one of the easiest and most entertaining non fiction reads I have ever gotten through!
October 31, 2021
Unread shelf project 2021: book 93.
I saw so much of myself in this book. Validating, healing, hopeful. So glad my friend recommended this to me!
I saw so much of myself in this book. Validating, healing, hopeful. So glad my friend recommended this to me!
August 2, 2021
I really enjoy Shala's work from her co-authoring mindfulness book and I am always scouring youtube for videos of her . Above all I'm amazed at her honesty and openness as I would probably never be one to write about my life struggles. To be able to lay so openly your entire life is a feat in itself. I do not write this review with the intention to bash and I acknowledge everyone will have their different take on this book. I myself had a mixture of thoughts about this book. For one it was not a page turner for me,I honestly feel like a book should be able to grab you and take you on a journey, and this book did not deliver for "ME". There were times here and there that I felt a connection to the writing but I was not truly moved or touched. I do understand her feelings with OCD and her struggles, but I don't feel like I shared her struggles with her.
Reading through the book is almost as if she was trying so hard to explain the emotional trauma she was going through without triggering the impact of the emotion, or emotional response. Kind of like watching a car accident instead of being in one (I see it but I don't feel it). I wanted to be in those moments with her completely engulfed ,wanting to egg her on to show her knees and eat cookies, I wanted to feel like a child battling heaven and hell to save her parents by completing a ritual but I did not really feel involved enough to do so.I also feel like she was over analyzing her own emotions and all I wanted to do was be invited in to feel them with her, may just be a preferential reading style.
I do feel however that book was well rounded, and shed some light on the subject of OCD as most people think you just need to have things in order, few know about the intrusive thoughts that devastates you. Shala also did a nice job of laying out available treatments through ERP and CBT-which I adore. I was definitely cringing about her eating food from the floor, but I understand all to well the lengths that you have to go through in the war with OCD. She relayed a lot of what she had learned along with her struggles, that may be of extreme importance for someone struggling. I have added other books that she mentioned in her writing to my wish list to purchase which was also a bonus.
Should this review reach Shala. Thank you for your advocacy in the community!!! and your willingness to open your life to readers. This book/review in no way diminished my perspective of you as an OCD warrior.
************FULL DISCLOSURE********
This book was gifted for an honest review. The review is my honest perspective on the work
Reading through the book is almost as if she was trying so hard to explain the emotional trauma she was going through without triggering the impact of the emotion, or emotional response. Kind of like watching a car accident instead of being in one (I see it but I don't feel it). I wanted to be in those moments with her completely engulfed ,wanting to egg her on to show her knees and eat cookies, I wanted to feel like a child battling heaven and hell to save her parents by completing a ritual but I did not really feel involved enough to do so.I also feel like she was over analyzing her own emotions and all I wanted to do was be invited in to feel them with her, may just be a preferential reading style.
I do feel however that book was well rounded, and shed some light on the subject of OCD as most people think you just need to have things in order, few know about the intrusive thoughts that devastates you. Shala also did a nice job of laying out available treatments through ERP and CBT-which I adore. I was definitely cringing about her eating food from the floor, but I understand all to well the lengths that you have to go through in the war with OCD. She relayed a lot of what she had learned along with her struggles, that may be of extreme importance for someone struggling. I have added other books that she mentioned in her writing to my wish list to purchase which was also a bonus.
Should this review reach Shala. Thank you for your advocacy in the community!!! and your willingness to open your life to readers. This book/review in no way diminished my perspective of you as an OCD warrior.
************FULL DISCLOSURE********
This book was gifted for an honest review. The review is my honest perspective on the work
October 25, 2018
I've been going through a bad bout of OCD for one year or more (although I only noticed it a few months ago, that's OCD for you), and decided I needed some self-help book in order to refresh my memory about ERP and the correct ways to act in regards of OCD.
This memoir made me laugh at times because I could see my OCD reflected in the author's. Apart from refreshing my memory it also gave me some new skills like Shoulders Back. I'll be sure to implement them in my life and also read the other books she mentions on her work (thanks for including that chapter with all the references!).
This memoir made me laugh at times because I could see my OCD reflected in the author's. Apart from refreshing my memory it also gave me some new skills like Shoulders Back. I'll be sure to implement them in my life and also read the other books she mentions on her work (thanks for including that chapter with all the references!).
October 20, 2022
It's not the best written book in the world, but there's lots of honest insight into OCD from s personal perspective. I found parts talking about the idea of the salesman and monster sometimes a bit repetitive throughout the book, to the point I was skipping paragraphs. Overall a good read though
.
.
August 26, 2025
This book really resonated with me. It didn’t feel like a generic self-help book or a distant memoir—it almost felt like a conversation with the author. Finally getting to talk to someone that understands OCD, hearing the highs and lows of their journey. It is well worth the read for someone that struggles with OCD, and for someone that seeks to understand it too.
May 23, 2018
I finished this book last night and woke up this morning struggling what to say about it. You see, Shala is a personal friend and asked me to review an advance copy. I wanted to do a good, honest job for her and for the people that will read this review, so I kept struggling with what to write as I stood in the shower for an extra 10 minutes thinking, as I let the cats out onto the screened in porch so they could watch little animals scurry around in the pre-dawn rain, and as I slowly made my breakfast, pondering. What to say? What to say?
In the end, I think I struggled because this is three layered and nuanced books in one.
On the surface, this is a very personal story of one woman’s life. It’s compelling in a way that only very honest, first-person narratives are. While Shala was already a friend when I started this book, I didn’t know everything that’s written here. When you’re finished with it, she’ll be your friend, too. Even if you’ve never met her, you’ll feel like she’s always been a part of your life. Shala’s always been a great storyteller and it shows in how easily the pages turned and the words flowed.
Just below that, however, is the story of a crippling mental illness. That phrase, mental illness, conjures up images of psycho wards and straitjackets and homicidal rages, but we, as a society need to get over that. Imagine having a cancer that’s slowing taking your life, slowly destroying your internal organs, but which presents no outward symptoms. A physical disease that will kill you, but which no doctor could diagnose or treat; Medical interns misunderstand it and make fun of it; Late-night TV comedian use it as a punchline. Hilarious, right? Until you experience what it’s like to live it. This is what Shala’s book does for those of us without OCD. It helps bring into the light how serious and painful and tragic and sad this disease is. Not only the illness itself, but also the state of our ability to treat it and to respect those who have it.
But finally, this is a book about courage. The courage to identify a subtle, malicious illness, to challenge it, and to overcome it. The courage to change one’s career completely in order to pursue a newfound passion. The courage to bare one’s soul, warts and all, so that others can learn from the experience and stop suffering in silence. One woman's courage. These are things all of us, whether we have OCD or not, can learn from.
This is a powerful story.
In the end, I think I struggled because this is three layered and nuanced books in one.
On the surface, this is a very personal story of one woman’s life. It’s compelling in a way that only very honest, first-person narratives are. While Shala was already a friend when I started this book, I didn’t know everything that’s written here. When you’re finished with it, she’ll be your friend, too. Even if you’ve never met her, you’ll feel like she’s always been a part of your life. Shala’s always been a great storyteller and it shows in how easily the pages turned and the words flowed.
Just below that, however, is the story of a crippling mental illness. That phrase, mental illness, conjures up images of psycho wards and straitjackets and homicidal rages, but we, as a society need to get over that. Imagine having a cancer that’s slowing taking your life, slowly destroying your internal organs, but which presents no outward symptoms. A physical disease that will kill you, but which no doctor could diagnose or treat; Medical interns misunderstand it and make fun of it; Late-night TV comedian use it as a punchline. Hilarious, right? Until you experience what it’s like to live it. This is what Shala’s book does for those of us without OCD. It helps bring into the light how serious and painful and tragic and sad this disease is. Not only the illness itself, but also the state of our ability to treat it and to respect those who have it.
But finally, this is a book about courage. The courage to identify a subtle, malicious illness, to challenge it, and to overcome it. The courage to change one’s career completely in order to pursue a newfound passion. The courage to bare one’s soul, warts and all, so that others can learn from the experience and stop suffering in silence. One woman's courage. These are things all of us, whether we have OCD or not, can learn from.
This is a powerful story.
June 21, 2018
Enveloped within Fred is an autobiographical account of the facets of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and within the book is not only how the disorder came to develop for Shala, but the efficacy of how the disorder caused her the pain and suffering so common amongst those with OCD. Such an account truly captures what it is like for one to live with that “inner-monster”, a being, as a fellow OCD sufferer, almost completely separate from ourselves. As one who has to deal with the tenets of a disorder such as this, I can say with staunch pride that it is one of the only books in the market to capture the whole concept: not only how to treat it, as Shala eventually discovers, but additionally how it came to develop, the highlights to why and how and when things got worse, and why exactly events happened the way they did. As the latter part of the book focuses on the successes of Shala’s fight with OCD, together, when intertwined with the known facts and struggles she’s previously had in therapy, such an account truly highlights what exactly the disorder is and what it embodies. I’m proud to say this book inspired me as well: Shala’s own strategies motivated me to give that extra effort and to really dig deep and do exposures. As a 17-year-old OCD sufferer, doing exposures (the primary treatments) are hard, but this book helps one to see the greater good in the end: a life with minimal OCD presence. That is why I highly recommend the book for reading, not only for parents with kids with OCD, but also for the fellow sufferers like myself—it is truly educational and helps to shed an astounding light on such a misunderstood disorder.
July 6, 2018
In this compelling story of the experience of OCD, Shala Nicely gives us a rare intimate look at how struggling with OCD feels from the inside. She seems to hold nothing back as she details how the ever-present voice of OCD created unending challenges for her as a child and then into adulthood. Shala is a wonderful and engaging storyteller and this combined with her raw honesty make this a a tale that is heartbreaking, heartwarming, and an inspiration.
Shala’s description of how it feels to a child who is struggling with OCD is the best I’ve ever read. She lays out in detail the gymnastics that her young mind had to do to make sense of the world after being hit by a car and seriously injured when she was four years old. While Shala appeared to recover and resume her normal life, the emotional upending of the trauma remained inside and young Shala came to the conclusion that the world is not a safe place and that it was her job to keep everyone she loved safe. This was just the door OCD needed to walk in. OCD began creating maxims that the young Shala thought she had to obey lest something dire happen to her loved ones. And from there OCD morphed into one rule right after the other creating a box within which she became trapped.
How, after finding effective treatment, she threw her shoulders back and walked out of that box is an inspiration to us all. I would highly recommend this book to everyone who struggles with OCD or loves someone who does. I would also highly recommend it to anyone who would just like to read one woman’s story of struggle, courage, and redemption.
Jeanne Mahoney LCSW, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist
Shala’s description of how it feels to a child who is struggling with OCD is the best I’ve ever read. She lays out in detail the gymnastics that her young mind had to do to make sense of the world after being hit by a car and seriously injured when she was four years old. While Shala appeared to recover and resume her normal life, the emotional upending of the trauma remained inside and young Shala came to the conclusion that the world is not a safe place and that it was her job to keep everyone she loved safe. This was just the door OCD needed to walk in. OCD began creating maxims that the young Shala thought she had to obey lest something dire happen to her loved ones. And from there OCD morphed into one rule right after the other creating a box within which she became trapped.
How, after finding effective treatment, she threw her shoulders back and walked out of that box is an inspiration to us all. I would highly recommend this book to everyone who struggles with OCD or loves someone who does. I would also highly recommend it to anyone who would just like to read one woman’s story of struggle, courage, and redemption.
Jeanne Mahoney LCSW, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist
January 26, 2019
Is Fred In the Refrigerator? chronicles author Shala Nicely’s quest for distraction, perfection and absolution and the FUD factor: fear, uncertainty and doubt. It describes the ongoing dialoging dual between the two demons in her mind: the monster obsessive compulsive disorder and the salesman body dysmorphic disorder. Rather than an informational textbook manual on mental health disorder, Shala invites the reader into her story at once humorous and compassionate. Through her poetic narrative, Shala takes the reader's hand and walks with us as "a tenant in the kingdom of a cruel ward who demanded fealty in the form of complicated mental gyrations, all devised to procure a most elusive form of wealth: certainty...[but] certainty was the domain of fools.” But she does not leave the reader there in the dungeon of OCD despair; rather, Shala offers both victims and their friends and family tangible keys out when locked in doubt. She highlights the triple A attitude of appreciation, authenticity, and abundance; maintaining perspective and remember the bigger picture, the Greater Good; mindfully engaging in Exposure and Response Therapy (ERP) and move toward not away from anxiety. Her motto transforms from the stigma of fear and shame to “Life is a classroom and I’m here to learn.” Whether you are struggling with mental illness or know someone who does, this memoir is a must-read relief that you are not alone. Help, hope, and healing await right outside your (refrigerator) door!
July 2, 2018
Disclaimers: I have OCD and subscribe to Shala's mailing list, and my copy of Is Fred in the Refrigerator? is autographed. And having said all that, this is an outstanding book about Shala's descent into OCD hell and her subsequent, triumphant efforts to pull herself out. Some of the details will seem outlandish. How, for example, could she have been misdiagnosed so many times? But here's the thing: these things happen to those of us with OCD. As someone who once had a psychiatrist misdiagnose his OCD as borderline delusion disorder the missteps that led to her eventual, accurate diagnosis were especially poignant. So, too, were the details of the lengths to which she went to neutralize her obsessive thoughts. They might not make sense to those who don't have the disorder, but those of us who do can absolutely understand how they made complete sense to her at the time (just as we can assume that, when viewed through the prism of recovery, they're completely nonsensical!). Ultimately, though, what I loved most about Fred is that it empowers the reader. "Upbeat mental health writing" might sound like a contradiction in terms, but the book's final chapters are a riotous call-to-arms (and Dr. Reid Wilson's afterward provides more specific therapeutic information). This is a great read for sufferers, their friends and families, people who've misused the phrase "I'm so OCD!" or readers in general.
July 26, 2018
This is actually quite an incredible book. I have to start off by saying that I had no idea how controlling OCD is for many. I guess that is because most of those suffering from this . . . keep it well hidden.
Yes, I have know people with OCD, but upon thinking about them it seems like it was a mild form. Maybe not, because they keep it hidden as much as they can. But it has very huge control over their lives. Unless they seek help – and this book is a great start, I think.
It took a lot of courage for Shala to write this and open her life to what she has had to deal with all of her life. This illness, for sure, can be seriously incapacitating. This illness is an invisible and potentially a life destroying illness.
It took a great deal of courage as I said in doing that, Shala has given hope to many others.,
For me, I had to read this book slowly and wanted to absorb it. So, it took me longer than some to read, I would guess.
In writing this book she has truly provided a clear definition of the illness and has provided a road to recovery for a lot of people.
She made me smile, gringe and created some tears and . . . at the end Shala provided a whole lot of hope in what otherwise might seem to be a dark and dismal life for many.
If you suffer from this illness or know someone in your family or as friends, it would be good to read this and then suggest that they read the book.
Yes, I have know people with OCD, but upon thinking about them it seems like it was a mild form. Maybe not, because they keep it hidden as much as they can. But it has very huge control over their lives. Unless they seek help – and this book is a great start, I think.
It took a lot of courage for Shala to write this and open her life to what she has had to deal with all of her life. This illness, for sure, can be seriously incapacitating. This illness is an invisible and potentially a life destroying illness.
It took a great deal of courage as I said in doing that, Shala has given hope to many others.,
For me, I had to read this book slowly and wanted to absorb it. So, it took me longer than some to read, I would guess.
In writing this book she has truly provided a clear definition of the illness and has provided a road to recovery for a lot of people.
She made me smile, gringe and created some tears and . . . at the end Shala provided a whole lot of hope in what otherwise might seem to be a dark and dismal life for many.
If you suffer from this illness or know someone in your family or as friends, it would be good to read this and then suggest that they read the book.
September 1, 2023
A great memoir to capture the challenges of living with OCD and the frustrations of not getting appropriate treatment. Her story helps display several of the countless manifestations OCD can take on. The author does a great job personifying her OCD and I appreciate that toward the end of the memoir, she seems to have a softer attitude toward the OCD creature that she has identified as a “monster” her whole life. I often think of OCD as less of a monster (despite the bullying and fear it induces), and as more of a scared creature who is trying to help, but ultimately has wildly unhelpful advice (I.e., do these rituals, seek reassurance, etc).
In her journey to becoming a therapist/OCD specialist, Shala Nicely addresses some of the same frustrations I have felt in this profession - the lack of education and training about OCD treatment. The reality is, this means many clients with OCD end up working with well-meaning clinicians who unfortunately don’t know the proper treatment for OCD. Consequently, folks often suffer for years or decades before getting an appropriate diagnosis and/or treatment. As humans and clinicians, we don’t know what we don’t know! I hope this memoir and other resources (IOCDF, clinical consultations, etc) can help get the word out about ERP, ICBT, and other evidence based treatments for OCD.
In her journey to becoming a therapist/OCD specialist, Shala Nicely addresses some of the same frustrations I have felt in this profession - the lack of education and training about OCD treatment. The reality is, this means many clients with OCD end up working with well-meaning clinicians who unfortunately don’t know the proper treatment for OCD. Consequently, folks often suffer for years or decades before getting an appropriate diagnosis and/or treatment. As humans and clinicians, we don’t know what we don’t know! I hope this memoir and other resources (IOCDF, clinical consultations, etc) can help get the word out about ERP, ICBT, and other evidence based treatments for OCD.
September 1, 2025
Funny how the universe works. I've had this audiobook saved on my audible for about 2 years and just recently decided to give it a listen. Last week I took an evening walk while listening to this book and came across a sick squirrel. The days that followed were consumed by the obsessive fear that i contracted rabies and constant thoughts of how stupid was i to meddle with nature i don't understand. then a few days later, i was listening to the book again and Shala chronicles her own OCD-fueled rabies black hole. my jaw dropped when the chapter played. Shala does a great job of giving a peek into what it's like to live with this mental illness. i like her use of personification and the last scene depicting her and her OCD in a calm relationship of acceptance together was very touching. i felt connected to her journey on many pages and intend to take her advice on how to deal with my own little orange OCD monster. and in the spirit of exposure therapy and transparency, my OCD is telling me that writing about this post will somehow magically make me contract rabies as well, because I'm a bad person and i deserve it. this is an informative story, helpful for anyone who has OCD or loves someone with it!
Read
January 2, 20264 stars. i like feel like i am walking away wiht like a good amount of new information and like having mostly enjoyed this book! i did struggle with the personification of ocd as thing especially in the audiobook format like that was not as like enjoyable for me? idk like it was cute i just didnt gel with it and it made te whole thing like seem more fun and games which like yes ocd is funny sometimes but also like i am actually losing my mind a lot of the time and i like cant be having that like i just cant be having that at all. so that is like an element that like i was like oh yeah its funny but also its not you see?? but like also i think that seeing the amount of growth that she made in her ocd journey throughout her life and the fact that it was a slow and steady road with valleys but also like a lot of peaks was a good reminder that like not everything will be perfect all of the time but it is like addressable and fixable and i will live and survive like and be fine. so yeah. i enjoyed it and wanna be reading more about ocd and klike taking in more details about it in the next year. so. 4 stars.
June 2, 2018
A Must-Read
Through masterful storytelling and painstaking detail, Shala sheds light on her journey with OCD-sharing with readers what it's like to live with a "monster" inside their head. As someone living with multiple mental illnesses, including OCD, I found comfort and solace in reading her refreshingly honest depiction. But this memoir isn't just a must-read for people suffering from OCD...anyone who wants to learn more about the disorder should read this book as well. Shala personifies her OCD in a way that allows readers to gain a greater understanding of what living with this disorder can be like. Shala's writing takes readers through her lifelong journey-one that is both emotional and inspiring. But most importantly, Shala reminds readers that her recovery is still (and always will be) in progress. I cannot recommend this book highly enough!
Through masterful storytelling and painstaking detail, Shala sheds light on her journey with OCD-sharing with readers what it's like to live with a "monster" inside their head. As someone living with multiple mental illnesses, including OCD, I found comfort and solace in reading her refreshingly honest depiction. But this memoir isn't just a must-read for people suffering from OCD...anyone who wants to learn more about the disorder should read this book as well. Shala personifies her OCD in a way that allows readers to gain a greater understanding of what living with this disorder can be like. Shala's writing takes readers through her lifelong journey-one that is both emotional and inspiring. But most importantly, Shala reminds readers that her recovery is still (and always will be) in progress. I cannot recommend this book highly enough!
June 2, 2019
disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review
I've had the pleasure of meeting Shala at the IOCDF Annual Conference, and I have admired her mostly from afar. It was a treat to not only get to take a journey into her head, but moreover, to find so much of myself in her story. I could've read 100 more pages.
Shala's story is one of inspiration. She worked hard (and is still working as we all continue to do) to take on her monsters. But then she has gone and also turned her "adversity into advocacy," as she so eloquently calls it. This book is likely to help many feel less alone in having OCD and related disorders and will also educate them about a great number of resources. Shala's book is a beautiful example of how good storytelling can change lives.
Oh, and Shala - I hope OCD likes getting an imperfect review :)
I've had the pleasure of meeting Shala at the IOCDF Annual Conference, and I have admired her mostly from afar. It was a treat to not only get to take a journey into her head, but moreover, to find so much of myself in her story. I could've read 100 more pages.
Shala's story is one of inspiration. She worked hard (and is still working as we all continue to do) to take on her monsters. But then she has gone and also turned her "adversity into advocacy," as she so eloquently calls it. This book is likely to help many feel less alone in having OCD and related disorders and will also educate them about a great number of resources. Shala's book is a beautiful example of how good storytelling can change lives.
Oh, and Shala - I hope OCD likes getting an imperfect review :)
May 6, 2018
An absolute page-turner of a book. Shala has woven together a fascinating tale of self-adventure with insightful clinical information about OCD. Not having OCD, but having known Shala, it was all the more interesting to learn how she toiled with her monster, all the while performing at the highest level during her career in the software world. She shows a sharp sense of humor and great resolve in facing down her “monster.” I recommend this as a must-read for anyone, like me, who has tossed around “OCD” as a catch-all term not understanding the reality of the disease itself. And, I learned a few new vocabulary words to boot. One of the best books I have read in a long time. Highly Recommended.
July 17, 2018
The story is riveting; it reads more like a thriller than a memoir. As a type-A / achiever-personality, I related to the author's drive to be perfect. In addition to that internal pressure, the voice of Shala's OCD berated her constantly and is much worse than I could've imagined. Reading how she took control over her "monster" shows her courageous spirit and determination. I have had friends who, after many years, confided that they struggle with OCD but this nugget of truth was said hastily and the subject was changed. After reading "Fred", I feel I have a window into how this condition takes hold of the body and mind. Thank you, Shala, for sharing your struggle so others can learn from your experience.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews