How to Be Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You're in the Vatican

by Piers Marchant

Congratulations, Your Holiness, and welcome to your first day at the Holy See. After being elected by the College of Cardinals, you'll need to don the papal vestments and get right to work. Armed with this manual, compiled over the last 2,000 years, you'll be able to navigate the Why's, How's, and Who's of your new life as Pontifex Maximus. What is your official job title? Why do you need to choose a papal name? Who does your laundry? While the church has long maintained an aura of complete secrecy to outsiders, the facts, figures, and historical anecdotes found here give the crucial information you'll need to fulfill your papal duties. Detailed diagrams reveal significant locations within the Vatican where to buy gas, where to mail a letter, St. Martha's House while helpful illustrations demonstrate how to perform the papal wave, the uniform of the Swiss Guards, and how to tell the difference between a mitre and a stole. All this plus a Latin primer, tips on greeting world leaders, and a list of job benefits makes for an indispensable guide to performing the role of Successor to the Prince of the Apostles.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Humor

128 pages, Paperback

First published October 13, 2005

Reviews

[ava]

super cute!

[Lauryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel ready to become Pope now.

[Shalyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is written as if it is a user's manual for a newly minted pope. It's full of information like where things are in Vatican City (it's not just a religous institution -- it's a city with a post office, supermarket, and department store), who is on the Pope's staff and what each of them do, what the privileges and responsibilities of the office are, and what an average day's itenerary is like. I thought it would be a silly book, but it's actually got some really cool information in it. I think the point of view imposed on the reader (i.e., that the reader is the newly minted pope) actually makes it more interesting and more personal.

[Jessica Camacho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple read. Basic information with a bit of humor sprinkled in between--perhaps this depends on someone's knowledge of the church, religious history, and sense of humor.

I appreciated the historical facts. The book mentioned previous popes, historical doctrine, and tradition. It was an overview--this is not a textbook, this is not a deep read. It is truly a quick overview that can be read in a couple of hours.

[Ben Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Turns out you have to be a baptized male Catholic, so I’m not gonna get it this time around.

I wanted a break from Morte D’Arthur and saw this on the shelf. Had never read it before. Decent read. Relevant.

[Bathsheba Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative

[Leslie McCurdy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, and oddly informative.

[Ria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, short book about what it would be like if you became the Pope! Light read with historical facts, written for a middle school reader. Has some fun facts as well about the role of the Pope and about Vatican City.
A good informational book and quite fun to go through.

[Fostergrants · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book approaches an amazing amount of facts about the pope/vatican etc..as if you the reader were just annointed pope and you now have your instruction book. the introduction is "conratulations your holiness and welcome to your first day at the holy see" then there are headings like "who does my laundry?" "why does everyone kiss my ring?" "what is my license plate number?". my daughter bought this for me to feed my obsession with all things papal. i now know the average age of cardinals! i think this is a funny book but i don't think it's disrespectful should someone who is catholic receive it in their christmas stocking. illustrated. full index. small. paperback. cute.

[Noran Miss Pumkin · Rating 4 out of 5]

i want to be the Pope! what a fun job after reading this book! this book is a very quick read, and is written as if you were just elected Pope. Here is the guide to your new gig, your new country, and your palace, the largest in the world! the details at sprase and to the point. diagrams show maps of the Vatican, your palace, your clothes, and the like. Any travel plans have to be made up to two years in advance, but the host country pays for everything! there was a lot i never knew about being a Pope, i learned from this book, and i plan to read more about the Vatican soon. i got my copy used--not worth full price.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light, quick read that covers a lot of historical and theological ground, albeit without much depth, How to Be Pope is an amusing look at one of the oldest and most powerful religio-political offices in the world. Marchant carefully avoids anything controversial about the Church or individual Popes, but does provide plenty of trivia that even dedicated Catholics might not know, such as the cost of an exorcism or who does the Pope's laundry. How to Be Pope's matter-of-fact, informational tone is a cute feature that makes it resemble a travel guidebook and helps keep the book light.

[Elisha Condie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even if don't want to become Pope someday you should look at this little book because it's awesome. Each chapter is about some aspect of Vatican life, written in an instruction manual tone - and it's super interesting.

Primary language of the ATMs in Vatican City? Latin. Want to redecorate your papal apartment? Go ahead and browse through the entire Vatican art collection. Need to know the specs on the Popemobile? It's all in here. Seriously, I just thought it was really fun to read.

[Snail in Danger (Sid) Nicolaides]

Strictly speaking, this probably doesn't belong on my religion shelf. It's actually a collection of trivia about Vatican City and the papal office. (Examples: did you know that Vatican City is the only place in the world where the ATMs are in Latin? Or that there's a pharmacy near St. Anne's Gate?) I was flipping through this in a HPB and it made me want to go be a tourist in Vatican City.

[Chris (thebookaholic) Padgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun book to read. It is very easy, with lots of fun facts. It plays with the idea of what it would be like for you to be Pope, answering all of the questions you might have about this position of leadership. Although I am not qualified for this office, it did offer some great bits of information about the Papal office for the reader.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just as I rated it, the book was OK.
Not great, but not too bad. To be honest, I expected a bit more humor due to the witty format of the book and was a bit disappointed. But now, at least, I'm equipped with a handful of pope-related-facts so that if I ever become pope, I'll know what to do.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

A clever little book, almost a pamphlet, giving some insight into life inside the Vatican. While the facts are interesting, the book is very small. If you want more than just a cursory overview, look elsewhere.

[Christophe · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good post-margarita purchase.

[Leeda · Rating 4 out of 5]

No offense, but the Vatican is somewhat strange. Fun, but strange. This is a fun book, though.

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fast read- its the best book ever!!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious and yet detailed book. When you finish this, you feel you really could just take over the position without anyone noticing.

[Camille Maio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clever look into what happens after a man is elected pope! A step-by-step guide into the clothing, rituals, and details of his first few days in office.

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written with a light and sometimes tongue-in-cheek tone,it is nonetheless filled with interesting facts and historical information.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gotta re-read before every Conclave, just in case.

[lori rowe cottingham · Rating 5 out of 5]

very informative for me. i liked it.