How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking

by Viv Groskop

A powerful book about what happens when women find their voice.INCLUDES A NEW INTRODUCTION AND BONUS CHAPTER ON 'HOW TO OWN THE ZOOM''The ultimate guide to public speaking. Inspirational.' Mary Portas'I recommend Viv Groskop's How to Own the Room to anyone wanting more self-confidence.' Philippa Perry__________Most books about public speaking don't tell you what to do when you open your mouth and nothing comes out. And they don't tell you how to get over the anxiety about performance that most people naturally have. They don't tell you what to do in the moments when you are made, as a woman, to feel small. They don't tell you how to own the room. This book does.From the way Michelle Obama projects 'happy high status', to Virginia Woolf's leisurely pacing and Oprah Winfrey's mastery of inner conviction, what is it that our heroines do to make us sit up and listen - really listen - to their every word? And how can you achieve that impact in your own life? Here's how.__________***** 'Easy to grasp practical tips... all served up with lightness and generosity.'***** 'It has made me realize I don't even need to be good, but I can be brave.'***** 'Brilliant, engaging, honest, vulnerable, often damn funny.'

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Feminism, Personal Development, Audiobook, Leadership

235 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 1, 2018

About the author

Viv Groskop is a writer, stand-up comedian and TV and radio presenter. She is the host of the chart-topping podcast HOW TO OWN THE ROOM, featuring women like Hillary Clinton, Margaret Atwood, Sandi Toksvig and Meera Syal talking about power, performance and public speaking. She has hosted book tours for Graham Norton and Jo Brand and is the veteran of four Edinburgh Fringe shows. She has presented BBC Radio 4's Front Row and Saturday Review and appears regularly on TV. She is also a playwright and has had four plays broadcast on BBC Radio 4. Subscribe to Viv's weekly newsletter here for book, TV and film recommendations and loads of great tips on writing creativity and mindset: https://howtoowntheroom.com

Reviews

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well-known rule of thumb for career advancement is that you need to make you and your work more visible. In fact, one researcher found that visibility (or what he calls "exposure") counts towards 60% of your success. This causes a conundrum for women who stereotypically prefer to share the credit and also expect their work to speak for them. At the same time, there's been a growing demand for conference organizers to ensure there is more diversity in their presenters, but one conference organizer told me a few years ago that she had to work really hard to persuade women to come and speak. Time and again, women said No to her, citing they were too nervous or not ready. Cue Viv Groskop and her book "How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking.

Groskop is on a mission to help women push through their fear and step up for speaking opportunities. Her approach is essentially 'get out there; everyone makes mistakes (including these awesome women and we all still admire them); the more you do this, the better you will be." It's like spending time with your best friend as she encourages and inspires you to stand up and take the spotlight. She does this by walking you through speeches by famous women (and a few men), showing what they did well and pointing out how they weren't perfect (no one is!) but still won the audience. She weaves in advice throughout her commentary and wraps each chapter with a section on Tips & Tricks and Exercises.

I conduct presentation training and coaching, and I like to read books about presentations for new ideas and ways to help improve both my own and other people's performances. That means I have a pretty high bar and, unfortunately, there are a lot of books out there that I wouldn't recommend. Groskop's book makes the cut as she's written this for "those who want to speak or get better at it but feel a tiny bit sick and/or don't know where or how to start. It cannot take the anxiety away. But it does give you some tricks for living with it or lessening it." It definitely delivers.

Full disclosure: I once had the pleasure of sitting next to Viv at a publishing event dinner about 5 years ago. She's as witty and charming as you'd imagine someone to be who's been both a journalist and stand-up comedian! When I saw she'd come out with this book, I asked for an ARC to review. My opinions in this review are all my own, even if it did take me way too long to get around to write them.

[Emmkay · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a fine, chattily written guide to public speaking, framed around discussing the speaking style of various well-known women. Some sensible advice around finding your own style. Oddly obsessed with TED talks - is it really everyone’s dream to give a TED talk??! Not really what I was looking for, but I can see how it could be a good fit for other readers.

[Elisa-Johanna Liiv · Rating 4 out of 5]

Põhiliselt tahtsin seda raamatut lugeda, sest avalik kõnelemine vahelduva eduga hirmutab mind tardumiseni. Välja arvatud need korrad, kui seda naudin. Eksole. Mu aju võiks ära otsustada kumb. Aga siin on mõnusalt mõtteid ja nippe erinevatele kõnelemisstiilidele ja ka juhul, kui sa ei tea, milline su stiil on või võiks olla. Ja eks ma seda arvasingi, et see hirm jääb, aga sellega tuleb lihtsalt tegeleda. Näiteks seeläbi, et lood endale jooksvalt uusi kõnelemisvõimalusi.

[Claire Fuller]

This has been sitting on my tbr shelf for far too long, and I should have got it down before I had to do all those talks about my books, that speech to sixth formers, that videoed interview. Groskop looks at a series of women who have made speeches, from politicians to writers to comedians, and analyses their delivery in a way that can easily be applied to how the rest of us might have to give speeches. It's accessible and very implementable (is that a word?), and I highly recommend it for anyone looking at delivery (rather than content).

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

see raamat kõnepidamisest ja avalikust esinemisest üldisemalt tabab minu meelest hästi tasakaalu praktiliste nõuannete ja inspireerivate ergutuste vahel - näidete ja eeskujudena kasutatakse kuulsaid naisi, kes on pidanud häid kõnesid, igaühe tugevused vormistatakse üheks kindlaks teemaks ja keskendutakse sellele veidi. peatükid ongi pealkirjastatud "Be More Michelle", "Be More Oprah", "Be More JK", "Be More Chimamanda" jne. (viimane peatükk on õnneks "Be More You", sest no kes meist suudaks olla korraga Emma Watson, Virginia Woolf ja Michelle Obama? mitte.)

lugesin seda raamatut lennukis ja seetõttu ei saanud kõiki viidatud kõnesid kohe välja otsida ja üle vaadata, aga kellel on piisavalt enesedistsipliini, et interneti läheduses raamatut lugeda, sellel soovitaksin küll kohe paralleelselt vaadata, millest jutt. (pärast "Becomingu" ja "How to Own the Roomi" üsna järjest lugemist on Youtube'i algoritm veendunud, et Michelle Obama kõned on mu suurim fetiš. mis ei ole tõsi, sest halloo, kas te Emma Watsoni "He For She" kõnet olete näinud?)

üsna palju rõhutab see raamat asjaolu, et ega avalik rääkimine polegi kerge. ka paljudele neist, kes seda väga hästi teevad. mistap seda tuleb teha hoolimata sellest, et on raske - kõik vabandused alates introvertsusest ja lõpetades "mis nüüd mina"-ga lükatakse veenvalt ümber. nagu Emma ütleb: if not me, who? if not now, when?

[Briana Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overview: Practical step by step approach, with plenty of relatable examples, of how to achieve executive presence and speak publically with confidence, authority and authenticity.

Likes: Practical, inspiring, humorous, empowering, and loved how each chapter picks one strength of a celebrity to focus on for public speaking inspiration, additional “Own The Zoom” chapter which was added post-COVID19 pandemic. I also loved the clear, to the point summary and recommended exercise at the end of each chapter. Overall, I was really pleasantly surprised with this book.

Dislikes: Only a small call out but the book focuses on femininity throughout, but I more see this as a practical book focusing on helping everyone be a better public speaker.

Recommend For: Anyone looking to improve in public speaking and executive presence. Although this book focuses on helping females, I can also see how this would help males.

Key Points and Favorite Quotes per Chapter:
The Art of Brilliant Speaking
- Use quotes from well-known figures
- Group ideas in 3s
- 60-90% of our communication is non-verbal
- “There is no discrimination against excellence”, Oprah
- “There is zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas”, Susan Cain (author of Quiet)
Be More Michelle Obama
- Using Happy-High Status: Not feeling like you are above anyone else
- Aim for connection and empathy
- “When they go low, we go high”, Michelle Obama
- Allow natural pauses
Be More Amy Cuddy
- TedTalk on power poses
- Authentic presence: be who you are but be it by being fully present, find your own style
- Use visualization for how you want your speech to go
Be More Virginia Woolf
- Kill your inner critic
- Most people need to slow down their speaking. Especially native English speakers
- Speak slowly and deliberately if a complex point needs to be made
- Focus more on the audience than on yourself
- Record yourself and play it back
Be More Oprah Winfrey
- Use signposting- using emotional and physical cues which show the audience how to behave
- Repeat yourself
- Use silences/ stillness
- Use extreme focus and maintain eye contact
Be More Joan Rivers
- Either make a concerted effort to ignore criticism or take it on board in an organized way
- Only measure yourself against yourself, not anyone else
- Learn extreme resilience
Be More JK Rowling
- You don’t have to be a speaker as your day job to be a good one. Just talk about what you know in a way that is approachable and engaging.
- Try speak without notes
- “We touch other people’s lives simply by existing”, JK Rowling
- Use quotes and /or 1-2 key points
- Keep it simple
Be More Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- Be organized and rehearsed, prepare meticulously
- Have absolute clarity
- Take plenty of pauses (calm authority)
Be More Angela
- Sticking with the facts
- Show discipline, calm and focus
Be More You
- Make yourself known
- Take the opportunities to speak when they arise
- We are all experts in different areas

[Quincy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Het begon sterk, maar werd eentonig na een tijdje

[Fiona Erskine · Rating 5 out of 5]

To read this book is to receive a and stiff drink and a warm hug just before you go on stage.

Viv Groskop shows you how to pull the oxygen up through your feet, to quell the jelly in your legs, to slow your heartbeat, clear the brain and free your voice.

Your message is up to you; this is a book to ensure that the delivery doesn't let you down.

Such a useful book. Tremendously simple, but then the best ideas often are.

Confidence holds us back, and this is a confidence boost in book form.

Funny and engaging too!

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was some pretty great advice in this book and definitely some ideas and notions that I will be taking away with me; ultimately, I left this book feeling better about public speaking engagements than I did before reading it. The bulk of the book, though, is very chatty and repetitive. It takes a scattergun approach and skims over a multitude of different speaking scenarios by reporting the behaviour of different women speakers in Ted talks or viral YouTube moments. Easy to consume but I felt the greater part of the pages in this book were a tad fluffy and superfluous.

[Catrinel Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greatly inspiring and empowering!
Fun, actual with a holistic approach on the public speaking from body language, message to attitude tips.
The book is with exercises that can be followed every day or just when you

I also recommend Viv's Instagram page and podcast where she continues the stories and examples of inspiring and empowering talks from the present.

[Alyssa Dushane · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

Not what I expected when I picked it up. I thought this book was about building confidence when speaking to other people, but this is more about women and public speaking. I do not see myself speaking in front of large groups of people anytime in the future and would rather actually not…like ever. So, this did nothing for me. I did like the author's examples of women who do a great job at public speaking and their strategies of “owning the room”. I thought this was interesting and humanized them a little more. I think it’s a good read if public speaking is in your wheelhouse or part of your career path. Otherwise, it’s a pass for me.

[Chantelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many notes taken from this quick read! Seriously so good.

[Emma (escapetothebookshelf) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really impressive and original book. Each section of the book takes a different female speaker and analyses their style of speaking and why it is effective both for them and generally for others. As someone who finds public speaking a terrifying thought, this book contains so many useful tips. It casts the idea of speaking in front of others in a positive light and is extremely encouraging towards women speaking out no matter how big or small the situation is. The range of speakers discussed also means that you can definitely take something from the book to apply to yourself, no matter what type of personality or what type of speaker you are.

Disappointingly, there are a few moments in the book where I felt the tone comes across a little patronising. For example - Groskop describes how JK Rowling was giving a speech whilst holding the microphone and her clutch bag - she ends the chapter by saying "Give someone the clutch bag to hold, love, next time, OK?". Yes, she does have a valid point but the tone comes across a little condescending to me and is in stark contrast to the otherwise general tone of encouragement throughout the book. There were a couple of other comments like this which, for me, took away from the heights of empowerment that the book could have otherwise achieved. However, despite these moments, the book is still inspirational and is still very supportive and encouraging. These moments do not pervade the book; they are really just a 'few moments' and others may interpret the comments differently - Groskop is just being honest at the end of the day. Furthermore, my interpretation probably says more about my lack of confidence than it does about Groskop's writing; she sets out to inspire and encourage which in my opinion she does overwhelmingly achieve despite these minor comments. Nonetheless, they are what held me back from giving the book 5 stars.

[Sky · Rating 1 out of 5]

Literally using words to vomit enough straw to build the strawman that is this book, the alphabet soup poses intriguing and intricate hurdles to becoming a better speaker and then confirms that they are in fact intricate and intriguing. This book prays on feminity and sensitivity for a quick buck that will you remind you to use your lungs to breathe and your feet to stand. I've never been so thoroughly irritated by a book. Absolute garbage.

[Shirley Bateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an inspiring book! A must read for any woman who wants to master the art of public speaking and conquer the dreaded nerves it entails. I loved the examples of great speeches delivered by women. They show that you don’t have to be a fabulous orator (although it helps if you’re Oprah) and you definitely don’t have to be perfect. Ok, time to channel Michelle Obama...

[Sayali · Rating 4 out of 5]

10 chapters, 8 powerful women and their stories about public speaking. Viv analyses them and draws conclusions on what works for them and why it does. Inspiring read to take more chances, to be vulnerable and authentic in your story telling and ultimately 'Be more like you'

PS: she is obsessed about TED talks and how literally everyone should try it/aim to try it. - take it with a pinch of salt.

[Cecile · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not too sure why I read this book

[keila ♡ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5/5

The people that are used as examples here are a bit... questionable...

Just me or is the author highly obsessed with TedTalk???

[🌶 peppersocks 🧦 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned:
“You can’t get around fear, you can only go through it...”

Ahhh, the simple act of humans talking to humans - why is something that we do everyday make so many people nervous...? I am unfortunately one of that group and I do wish that I knew why so listened to this with much interest. My mind is always comforted at the thought that its nerves from caring but that doesn’t take the symptoms away. Am I afraid of my own power in conveying thoughts to multiple people?!? Do I talk fast as I think fast and that’s just how my brain is at the moment?

This features plenty of learning and soundbites to try and help what only the individual can understand and control: Commitment, practice, guts - Breathe smile and pause - Centre your brain into your stomach - Rule of three main points across...

“Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that you’re not meant to do it”

Featuring examples from performers and known orators including this one from Kennedy on how to work on a feared skill - the time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining... when you have time for this book it’s definitely worth it

“Nerves have nothing to do with talent or ability...”

[Lisa Bentley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Speaking in public is hard. It can be made even harder when your gender is an additional factor into why you may be judged, not listened to or respected. Viv Groskop’s brilliant book How to Own the Room is a powerhouse of a book. It is empowering and give amazing information, advice and real life stories on how to build up your confidence and to be able to give amazing speeches. 

I took a lot from this book. I work in a school and I don’t really have a problem with speaking to my students but I  know I would feel very different if I was speaking to my peers. If I am ever asked to address people on my level or higher I know I will return to How to Own a Room to help me with the delivery of my speech.

Additionally, it is the stories of well known people and how they deal with making speeches that makes you feel a little bit better about your own nerves. How to Own a Room is a practical guide and an enjoyable read.

How to Own the Room – Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking by Viv Groskop is available now.

[tahnee german · Rating 4 out of 5]

you should read this is you’re a BA woman. or if you’re just a woman. or if you’re just a BA 😎.

she gives skills on public speaking with confidence and ease! it’s more directed towards women but would be suitable for anyone. i LOVE her idea of “happy high status”, which just means people who are kindly and genuinely themselves and can’t be threatened or bothered by what others think. what a skill. she tells a story about how george clooney was mistaken as a waiter and he was so completely unbothered by it and happy to help, how inspiring. i also love how she dissects famous female speakers of all different styles (i wanna be a michelle obama slash oprah winfrey style haha).

loved! go read this!

[Farida Badry · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person who has spoken in public several times, this book spoke to me. Everything mentioned, the challenges, the fears, the worries, the thoughts I have experienced myself. My favourite part of the book is the fact that it is not trying to give you a step by step guide on how to become a speaker or a great speaker, no no, it is using the experiences as a speaker or an audience to analyze oneself, and other great speakers to create thoughts on improvements that needn't be about perfecting a speech but more of a learning curve towards your individual speaking goal.

A lot of tips I have noted and taken with me and I did not complete any of the exercises but I WILL do some of them as they will definitely provide some insights into my style and weaknesses.

[Elizabeth Schlatter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very readable and directly applicable book that suggests ways to improve speaking styles, largely public and for/by women. But I found it useful for all types of speaking, especially when making a point or standing up for yourself. Each chapter is based on a famous person’s speech, which is great bc you can easily go on line and watch the examples.

[Vicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful ideas on taking opportunities to practice public speaking, and challenging your limits in that area

[Franziska B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives a very optimistic and motivating view on public speaking. Anyone can do it well in their own way. She says that one key is to find your happy high status (a place where you are confident and can be kind to others) and another one is to be present.

[Clara Smeaton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not just for people who’re scared of public speaking. As a person who does public speaking almost every day for work, I enjoyed this book for some quick tips on finding your own style and considering the differing styles and successes of other women speakers.

[Annelies · Rating 3 out of 5]

Een heel vlot boek dat aan de hand van speeches van bekende vrouwen (Merkel, Lagarde, Obama, Oprah, ...) tips and tricks geeft voor iedereen die regelmatig presentaties geeft of speecht. Heeft me zeker aan het denken gezet en er zijn zeker tips die ik nu al toepas. Was het echt totaal onverwacht en onvoorspelbaar? Neen. Maar het was zeker ok!

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook. Conversational and good listen - mostly a walkthru on examples to look up for reference on public speaking

[Elina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite nice but most of the examples of the speakers are so high level it feels difficult to relate (Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton). I liked the practical tip lists in the end of each chapter, really useful.

[pianogal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what I was expecting, but this was really good. I liked all her examples. I don't do a lot of speaking, but this would helpful if I did.