Don't Take Yes for an Answer: Using Authority, Warmth, and Energy to Get Exceptional Results – A Premier Talent Agent's Career Guide Backed by Social Psychology

by Steve Herz

One of the nation's premier talent agents and career advisors shows you how to catapult your career and your life forward with three key communication strategies—Authority, Warmth, and Energy.A self-empowerment guide to achieving your fullest professional and personal potential, Don’t Take YES for An Answer explains why positive feedback limits personal and professional growth and then teaches you how to embrace hard truths and critical feedback to escape mediocrity and break away from the pack. To stand out, to attract the attention of those who can raise your profile, to protect yourself during lean times, or to gain the interest of future employers, you must harness three critical communication traits that human beings respond to A—Authority. W—Warmth. E—Energy. When all else is equal—education, work ethic, intelligence, experience, ambition—the single biggest factor in winning business, promotions, friendships, or followers hinges on our ability to communicate and connect. Mastering AWE gives you an unparalleled advantage over the competition, no matter your field. Herz, who has represented and coached dozens of sports, media, and entertainment leaders over the course of nearly three decades, delivers a step-by-step program that helps you understand and hone your AWE skills. Packed with inspiring success stories, grounded in the latest social psychology and scientific research, and featuring "insider" anecdotes from some of the most popular entrepreneurs and professionals in broadcasting, sports, and the corporate world—many personally coached by Herz— Don’t Take YES for An Answer provides invaluable suggestions and practical techniques for “upping” your AWE in every aspect of your life.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Leadership, Communication, Professional Development

188 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 16, 2020

About the author

The President and Founding Partner of IF Management, Steve Herz believes that anything is possible.

Steve was once a portly fellow who could not swim. Undaunted by a lack of physical gifts, he set about to compete in the treacherous Gulf Coast Triathlon in Panama City, Florida. Shedding his extra girth while learning to swim, he met the six foot waves, the 90 degree temperatures and completed the prestigious Ironman qualifier; all the while raising thousands of dollars for the Leukemia Society and being voted Most Inspirational member of the Team in Training.

That underdog, earn-everything spirit has propelled Steve his whole life. And solidified his belief in the power of personal change. He’s leveraged his unique communication gifts and interpersonal skills to build a little company into an industry powerhouse: IF Management, now a part of the Montag Group. With multiple divisions, the company, and Steve, all serve the same purpose: coaching and motivating others to become the best version of themselves. And never settling for just “good enough”. While it has evolved to impact the lives of CEOs, lawyers, entrepreneurs, young professionals, Steve’s ultimate goal remains using his motivational message and distinct skill set to aid others on their journey to greater heights. Steve’s book, Don’t Take Yes for an Answer, will be published June 16, 2020 by HarperBusiness.

Reviews

[Rebecca Bloom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every once in a while you read a book that brims with equal parts insight and palpable human warmth. Plus, born storyteller Steve Herz is on to something big and empowering. This astonishingly smart, funny and readable book is full of instructive and entertaining anecdotes that make a resounding point: we all can do better. No matter who we are. Empty back pats do not advance us, but Herz knows what does and, thankfully, he is willing to share: with attention to communication style and honest self-assessment about the way the attributes of Authority, Warmth and Energy (“AWE”) can be blended together, anyone can fine-tune their soft skills to improve at work and in life. Herz breaks it all down for his readers, sharing experiences that span his long, successful and meaningful career. This book is practical and actionable and, most notably, it feels like it comes from a wise and engaging friend.

[Heinrich DuBose-Schmitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Herz's book was a good reminder to pursue more open and honest feedback from those around you. If you want to develop as a person or succeed in business, you cannot let "good job" suffice. To grow, you must honestly assess yourself and seek out constructive criticism. Herz also explores how individuals can enhance their professional and personal influence by mastering the trifecta of authority, warmth, and energy.

[Patricia Chadwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

While reading Steve Herz’ just published book, Don’t Take Yes For an Answer, I found myself wondering, “Where was this book and this guidance fifty years ago when I really needed it?” Even today at 71, and with a couple of careers behind me, I was able to take away valuable insights that I hope to utilize over my next twenty years. Herz’ style is eminently readable – his advice peppered with vivid real-life stories that show rather than tell. The audience for Don’t Take Yes For an Answer is universal – regardless of the reader’s personality, foibles, insecurities or self-image. All that is needed is an open mind. After reading Herz’ book, I ordered half a dozen copies, and gave one to each of my twenty-something children and plan to give more to their friends. I think this book should be a must-read for every college senior or perhaps, better still, a present from parents to their graduating children. And in this COVID-19 environment, young men and women coming out of college and graduate school can benefit from Herz’ advice on how to stand out in a crowd – as they find themselves in a sea of applicants for jobs in an economically challenging environment. This book is a FIVE STAR read.

[Chintushig Tumenbayar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Аливаа номноос нэг ч гэсэн хэрэгтэй зүйл ажил амьдрал дээрээ хэрэгжүүлж авч үлдэхийг хичээдэг бол энэ номноос бишгүй олон санаа тэмдэглэж авлаа.

1. Эрч хүч тань бусдыг дагуулдаг
2. Удирдах арга барил тань бусдын хүндлэлийн хүлээх гол түлхүүр бол
3. Халуун дулаан зан чанар тань бусдын итгэлийг бий болгодог юм байна.

[Pyper Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was great - short, to the point, new ideas. Easy takeaways.

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for an advanced reading copy. Herz is the president of IF Management, a company that represents broadcast journalists. This is a useful little book, for people who have always heard "yes" and have never confronted difficult feedback about their presence and the impressions they make on others. Herz explains the three concepts - Authority, Warmth, and Energy - clearly, with strong examples. There are also cheat sheets so readers can refer back to sections where they need more improvement. I decided to practice AWE while working at the reference desk this past Sunday, and while it was mentally exhausting, I did feel it was rewarding. I started to notice people smiling and joking more in response to me. I've always felt that I come across as too cold or as a know-it-all, and I have a squeaky, high-pitched voice. The tips here are going to help me in making those changes, and I hope to get even more feedback about ways I can improve in all three of these areas.

[Quinns Pheh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book claims that effective communication skills are your enabler in reaching full potential. Communication does not come easily to everyone. However, it does not mean you cannot learn it, according to this book. You could start by being more aware of how you speak and your body language. Next, acknowledge the worth of others by giving them your full attention when you interact. It infuses warmth which draws people to you. Finally, mind your energy to inspire people to take an interest in your ideas. When you combine energy and warmth with authority, you've hit on the recipe for success.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

For some reason I struggled to "get into" this book having put it down several times over the past month. Finally had to just sit down and finish it. Regardless, there are some great excerpts and ideas that I found within it. Of all the "AWE" elements, I thought Warmth is the key to long-term success as a leader. A few do reach the highest rungs of the ladder without warmth, but I've found most of them to be toxic leaders. Key thoughts are below.

- A study…. “asked participants what factors were the most important in determining probable success or failure in terms of employment and promotion. Its conclusion… only 15% of one’s financial success is attributable to technical proficiency and knowledge. The much larger influencer of your financial success – the 85% - rests on your personality, and your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead. In a word: your “connectability”. P15.
- Those who excel at these interpersonal skills aren’t performing at all – it’s second nature. It’s authentic. It’s how they live their lives. P20. PJK: So true. It’s very easy to see a boss faking empathy or following some recent company slide show.
- If you’re not happy with where your career is going and are determined to do better, it won’t help you to shy away from facing reality. You have to be unsparing in your critique. P25.
- No matter how high you've risen or how much praise you've received, there is always room for improvement. As per Kenny Plotnick, of the #1 news station in the country, “When you're number one you have to continue to turn your head back behind you. Organizations and individuals can easily become complacent and plateau if you don't continue to raise your own bar.” P43. PJK: Complacency kills. Once #1, you find that everyone else is gunning for you, thus you have to continue to work even harder.
- If you don’t believe in yourself, few will believe in your message. P49.
- As legendary voice coach Mort Cooper wrote in Change Your Voice: Change Your Life, “Your voice is your second face.” Other than your face, nothing else makes a bigger impression on people. P50.
- In every instance, there are long-term financial and professional benefits to infusing our interactions with warmth. P106.
- You can always find something in common with someone else. P122.
- Your relatability can be disarming in a way that totally warms you to the other person. P123.
- When you give people room for input, and use warmth to acknowledge them, you grow energy between you, which always makes for better relationships at work and in your private life. P135. PJK: Guess I’ve always known this, but never stated it so directly… and certainly never wrote this concept down.
- You have to know how to engage in whatever room you happen to be in. It’s about knowing when to step up, step back, and allow everyone’s energy to coalesce rather than makings things all about you. P135. PJK: I’m normally good at recognizing this when I’m public speaking, but I have certainly messed this up on more than one occasion. :(
- The greatest musicians, athletes, or performers in the world don’t care how good they are; they care about getting even better. P163.

[Jung]

Before reading AWE, I felt as though I was aware of Authority, Warmth, and Energy. However, that changed after reading Steve's book - especially in relation to Authority. By watching others and seeing how they embody Authority it is clear I can improve all across the board. Being more confident while delivering a message, using Authority and Warmth cohesively to connect with others, and knowing when to use quiet Authority are a few to name.

Steve is an expert in positively connecting people through AWE while showing people how they can improve on a day-to-day basis. Don't Take Yes for an Answer is an incredibly thought provoking, charismatic, funny, and addicting read. The messages Steve presents will absolutely help in any career field, but most importantly, life. The lessons learned from this book will open a whole new level of thinking - and help you engage more in every day tasks.

[Dmitry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great little book about effective communication techniques, about how each one of us can find things to improve and work on in that arena, and about how we can actually go about finding what needs to be improved and how to do it. Very practical and helpful. The thesis centers around putting AWE (Authority, Warmth, and Energy) into out communication style. I appreciated the fact that the author kept his writing brief and to the point and did not feel the need to bloat the book. I took off one star because I did not appreciate a certain example and found it unnecessary and inappropriate in the context.

[Nick Sorrentino · Rating 1 out of 5]

About 10 pages in the author says he named one of his companies, "If" after a Rudyard Kipling poem. A different more famous Kipling poem is, "the white man burden" probably the most racist poem of all time.

If you need more convincing not to pick this book up, it's pretty generic advice you could get. "There's always room to improve." "Comand the room when you speak." "Listen to others." Nothing new or novel

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

AWEsome tips to help improve professional and personal interactions
Highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to be more effective communicators whether with friends, colleagues, or strangers. The book provides clear examples to tweak how you engage and share your message to improve impact with AWE --- authority, warmth, and energy.

[Zhivko Kabaivanov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don’t Take Yes for an Answer (2020) identifies why some people consistently achieve career breakthroughs, while others struggle to reach their potential.

By adopting an attitude of continual self-improvement and learning three crucial communication skills, you can achieve exceptional results, regardless of your field.

[Luis Detlefsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

First impressions count. You can improve your AWE with self-awareness and practice. Without effective communication skills and the ability to connect with others you will never reach your full potential.

This book inspired me to record myself in order to increase my self-awareness and identify ways to improve.

[Joe J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty short and to the point. I enjoyed parts of the book, but in general I was expecting more. It was just okay. Not a bad listen, but I also wouldn't say it was one of the better self-help books that I have listened to as well.

[Cameron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the kind of book I thought it was going to be. But valuable. Just a somewhat misleading title. Feels more to do with the importance of being a good and personable person - and the fact that those skills can be learned with honest feedback.

[Jeannie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strong replacement for Dale Carnegie.

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been thinking on Herz's formula, and I like it.  For some time now I've sought to become a warmer person.  "Always be connecting ".  Good stuff. 

[Gaby Lopez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite good and with practical advice for everyday life. We should all embrace feedback.

[Mick Tidrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steve uses his experience and expertise to dive into what makes people get the most out of themselves. Highly recommend.

[Melanie Guerra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great business read on a rainy morning! These principles can (and should!) be applied to business and life. Never stop learning, growing, improving.

[Chloe]

3-3.5

[Zack Hodges · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting, straightforward book.

[Brad Silver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommend it highly!

Amazing insights shared with appropriate authority, warmth and energy. Excellent points that apply universally across how we relate to one another as humans. Well done and congrats Steve!