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How to Love the Empty Air
Vulnerable, beautiful and ultimately life-affirming, Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz’s work reaches new heights in her revelatory seventh collection of poetry. Continuing in her tradition of engaging autobiographical work, How to Love the Empty Air explores what happens when the impossible becomes real?for better and for worse. Aptowicz’s journey to find happiness and home in her ever-shifting world sees her struggling in cities throughout America. When her luck changes?in love and in life?she can’t help but “tell the sun / tell the fields / tell the huge Texas sky…. / tell myself again and again until I believe it.” However, the upward trajectory of this new life is rocked by the sudden death of the poet’s mother. In the year that follows, Aptowicz battles the silencing power of grief with intimate poems burnished by loss and a hard-won humor, capturing the dance that all newly grieving must do between everyday living and the desire “to elope with this grief, / who is not your enemy, / this grief who maybe now is your best friend. / This grief, who is your husband, / the thing you curl into every night, / falling asleep in its arms…” As in her award-winning The Year of No Mistakes, Aptowicz counts her losses and her blessings, knowing how despite it all, life “ripples boundless, like electricity, like joy / like... laughter, irresistible and bright, / an impossible thing to contain.”
88 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 20, 2018
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1437 people want to read
About the author
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz
19 books118 followersCristin O’Keefe Aptowicz is an American poet who was recently awarded a 2011 National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in Poetry.
She is the author of five books of poetry, including the recently released Everything is Everthing (Write Bloody Publishing), as well as the canonical slam history, Words in Your Face (Soft Skull Press), which U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins wrote “leaves no doubt that the slam poetry scene has achieved legitimacy and taken its rightful place on the map of contemporary literature.”
Founder of the three-time National Poetry Slam Championship venue, NYC-Urbana, Cristin has toured widely with her poetry, at venues as diverse as NYC’s Joe’s Pub, LA’s Largo Theatre and Australia’s Sydney Opera House. Cristin’s poetry books are published on Write Bloody Press, and available at all online & brick-and-order bookstores.
Her poetry has appeared (or is forthcoming) in McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, Rattle, Pank, Barrelhouse, MonkeyBicycle, decomP, Conduit and La Petite Zine (among others), as well as in anthologies such as Poetry Slam: The Competitive Art of Spoken Word, Learn Then Burn: Modern Poetry For the Classroom, Bowery Women and Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Revolution (among others).
She is the author of five books of poetry, including the recently released Everything is Everthing (Write Bloody Publishing), as well as the canonical slam history, Words in Your Face (Soft Skull Press), which U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins wrote “leaves no doubt that the slam poetry scene has achieved legitimacy and taken its rightful place on the map of contemporary literature.”
Founder of the three-time National Poetry Slam Championship venue, NYC-Urbana, Cristin has toured widely with her poetry, at venues as diverse as NYC’s Joe’s Pub, LA’s Largo Theatre and Australia’s Sydney Opera House. Cristin’s poetry books are published on Write Bloody Press, and available at all online & brick-and-order bookstores.
Her poetry has appeared (or is forthcoming) in McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, Rattle, Pank, Barrelhouse, MonkeyBicycle, decomP, Conduit and La Petite Zine (among others), as well as in anthologies such as Poetry Slam: The Competitive Art of Spoken Word, Learn Then Burn: Modern Poetry For the Classroom, Bowery Women and Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Revolution (among others).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
April 22, 2018
I thought this was a nice collection of poems. I enjoyed reading them. Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz really embraced the essence of love and loss of a mother. A truly heartfelt collection of poems. Some I liked more than others.
There is "My Mother Wants to Know if I'm Dead". Anyone who has a close relationship with their Mother can relate to this poem.
It goes like this:
ARE YOU DEAD? is the subject line of her email. The text outlines the numerous ways she thinks I could have died: slain by an axe-murderer, lifeless on the side of the highway, choked to death by smoke since I'm a city girl and likely didn't realize you needed to open the chimney flue before making a fire (and, if I do happen to be alive, here's a link to a YouTube video on fireplace safety that I should watch). Mom muses about the point of writing this email. If I am already dead, which is what she suspects, I wouldn't be able to read it. Any if I'm alive, what kind of daughter am I not to write her own mother to let her know that I've arrived at my fancy residency, safe and sound, and then to immediately send pictures of everything, like I promised her! If this was a crime show, she posts, the detective might accuse her of sending this email as a cover up for murder. How could she be the murderer, if she wrote an email to her daughter asking if she was murdered? her defense lawyers would argue at the trial. In fact, now that she thinks of it, this email is the perfect alibi for murdering me. Any that is something I should definitely keep in mind, of I don't write her back as soon as I have a fee goddamn second to spare.
Here is a little bit of the poem "On Getting Facials with My Mother"
Both of us trying to breathe deep, let go. Somewhere, years are being erased from my mother's face. She tells the facialist about me, her daughter, the writer down the hall. How we don't do stuff like this. How much we need it. After an hour, we're reunited. She looks beautiful: stripped down and glowing.
We put on our clothes and yes, we swallow hard when the cashier gives us the total, but we shake it off. We wear our new faces right into the sun, just like
we're told not to do. We can't help it.
The air feels too good, the future so bright.
"O Laughter"
O, Laughter, you are not forgotten.
My body is the jam jar you flew into.
You thought it'd be so sweet. You didn't realize it was made by crushing the most gentle of things. O, Laughter, Grief sees itself as a knife, carving out what needs to be seen.
See yourself as an ice skater, the knives on your feet. Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings.
My throat releases everything but you. Laughter, be the slyest magician. Make me think it's easy work: this levitation.
I'll willingly step into the box, if you'd just cut me in half, spin my parts around, then make me whole again.
There is "My Mother Wants to Know if I'm Dead". Anyone who has a close relationship with their Mother can relate to this poem.
It goes like this:
ARE YOU DEAD? is the subject line of her email. The text outlines the numerous ways she thinks I could have died: slain by an axe-murderer, lifeless on the side of the highway, choked to death by smoke since I'm a city girl and likely didn't realize you needed to open the chimney flue before making a fire (and, if I do happen to be alive, here's a link to a YouTube video on fireplace safety that I should watch). Mom muses about the point of writing this email. If I am already dead, which is what she suspects, I wouldn't be able to read it. Any if I'm alive, what kind of daughter am I not to write her own mother to let her know that I've arrived at my fancy residency, safe and sound, and then to immediately send pictures of everything, like I promised her! If this was a crime show, she posts, the detective might accuse her of sending this email as a cover up for murder. How could she be the murderer, if she wrote an email to her daughter asking if she was murdered? her defense lawyers would argue at the trial. In fact, now that she thinks of it, this email is the perfect alibi for murdering me. Any that is something I should definitely keep in mind, of I don't write her back as soon as I have a fee goddamn second to spare.
Here is a little bit of the poem "On Getting Facials with My Mother"
Both of us trying to breathe deep, let go. Somewhere, years are being erased from my mother's face. She tells the facialist about me, her daughter, the writer down the hall. How we don't do stuff like this. How much we need it. After an hour, we're reunited. She looks beautiful: stripped down and glowing.
We put on our clothes and yes, we swallow hard when the cashier gives us the total, but we shake it off. We wear our new faces right into the sun, just like
we're told not to do. We can't help it.
The air feels too good, the future so bright.
"O Laughter"
O, Laughter, you are not forgotten.
My body is the jam jar you flew into.
You thought it'd be so sweet. You didn't realize it was made by crushing the most gentle of things. O, Laughter, Grief sees itself as a knife, carving out what needs to be seen.
See yourself as an ice skater, the knives on your feet. Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings.
My throat releases everything but you. Laughter, be the slyest magician. Make me think it's easy work: this levitation.
I'll willingly step into the box, if you'd just cut me in half, spin my parts around, then make me whole again.
April 3, 2018
In the 15 years since I lost my mother, I have yet to read something that so beautifully and tragically embodies what it means to lose your biggest supporter.
I do not normally read poetry, but Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz's writing makes me want more. When her collection ended I did not want it to end. It was part because I wanted her to continue painting my own sorrow and because I wanted to read more of her art. It took me a few days to finish this book because the poem that is set at her mother's deathbed was so vivid, I wanted to sob...and well you don't do that when you are in the car. From there on out I read the book while holding my breath and tears streamed down my cheeks. And yet, also with a slight smile on my lips.
The smile was because for once, finally, I felt like someone truly knew the path I have been walking. Even the dates seems to line up to my own journey. The big difference was Cristin had to work through her grief as she prepared to get married while I grieved while pregnant.
I know I may be identifying too much to be a good reviewer, but this book blew my mind while simultaneously breaking and mending my heart. This is the book I have wanted to write the past 15 years. I consider it a gift that a review copy found its way to me. Thank you, Cristin.
I do not normally read poetry, but Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz's writing makes me want more. When her collection ended I did not want it to end. It was part because I wanted her to continue painting my own sorrow and because I wanted to read more of her art. It took me a few days to finish this book because the poem that is set at her mother's deathbed was so vivid, I wanted to sob...and well you don't do that when you are in the car. From there on out I read the book while holding my breath and tears streamed down my cheeks. And yet, also with a slight smile on my lips.
The smile was because for once, finally, I felt like someone truly knew the path I have been walking. Even the dates seems to line up to my own journey. The big difference was Cristin had to work through her grief as she prepared to get married while I grieved while pregnant.
I know I may be identifying too much to be a good reviewer, but this book blew my mind while simultaneously breaking and mending my heart. This is the book I have wanted to write the past 15 years. I consider it a gift that a review copy found its way to me. Thank you, Cristin.
July 11, 2018
As I began reading this collection, I did not expect to be a sobbing mess about midway through until the end. Wow. The poems in this book are about an artist struggling to make her voice heard, but they are also much more. They are about a woman's love for a mother who made her the very person she is. So beautifully written and poignant. For words to evoke such an emotional response is pure genius. I dare anyone to read this collection without ending up with your guts wrenched and a pile of sodden tissues beside them.
I am very close with my mom. We do pretty much everything together and she really is my best friend. The thing is, we are very much alike and so have our little tiffs, but nothing ever changes between us. The best I can explain it is, we are soulmates. She is my confidante and cheerleader, and I hope I am the same for her.
And so, as mom marches closer to her seventieth birthday, I find myself facing the harsh reality that someday she just won't be here. I'd like to thank the author for reminding me what it means to love someone so much that when they go, they take a piece of you with them. I need to be prepared. I'll never be prepared.
(I received this book free of charge from the author or publisher.)
I am very close with my mom. We do pretty much everything together and she really is my best friend. The thing is, we are very much alike and so have our little tiffs, but nothing ever changes between us. The best I can explain it is, we are soulmates. She is my confidante and cheerleader, and I hope I am the same for her.
And so, as mom marches closer to her seventieth birthday, I find myself facing the harsh reality that someday she just won't be here. I'd like to thank the author for reminding me what it means to love someone so much that when they go, they take a piece of you with them. I need to be prepared. I'll never be prepared.
(I received this book free of charge from the author or publisher.)
March 29, 2025
Did you know that if your local library doesn’t have a book, they can ILL (interlibrary loan) the book for you? ICPL didn’t have 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘈𝘪𝘳 by Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz, but they borrowed it for me from the Ames Public Library.
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 is a book of poems recommended on Goodreads by Roxane Gay, a woman and author I admire. Roxane’s mom recently passed away. “Aptowicz is all hits no skips. This is a beautiful collection of poems about walking into an unexpected life and the overwhelm of grief and how sometimes, the most joyful time of your life is also the most sorrowful. The work moved me to tears.”
My stomach was very lumpy as a I read it because I’ve been afraid of my mom dying my whole life.
Normally I don’t rate poetry books, but I’m giving this one five stars.
Fun fact: O’Keefe Aptowicz’s husband is Ernest Cline, the author of 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘯𝘦.
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 is a book of poems recommended on Goodreads by Roxane Gay, a woman and author I admire. Roxane’s mom recently passed away. “Aptowicz is all hits no skips. This is a beautiful collection of poems about walking into an unexpected life and the overwhelm of grief and how sometimes, the most joyful time of your life is also the most sorrowful. The work moved me to tears.”
My stomach was very lumpy as a I read it because I’ve been afraid of my mom dying my whole life.
Normally I don’t rate poetry books, but I’m giving this one five stars.
Fun fact: O’Keefe Aptowicz’s husband is Ernest Cline, the author of 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘯𝘦.
June 3, 2021
I have, for the most part, stopped rating autobiographies and life stories. However, I picked this one up specifically because my mom passed away from Pancreatic Cancer a month ago and I wanted to start reading books about grieving and people who have lost their moms specifically. This was the first one I picked up and I really enjoyed it.
April 17, 2018
My pals over at Wunderkind PR sent me a copy of today's book and asked that I give an honest review. Spoiler alert: I said yes. :-)
How to Love the Empty Air by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz is a collection of poetry which primarily focuses on her relationship with her mother (also a writer) and the grief she experienced after her death. Please don't think it's all doom and gloom and buckets of tears (although there is that too) because she also delves into the pockets of happiness that can be found amidst the overwhelming sadness of losing someone so dear. Cristin speaks to that part of the heart that is attuned to the people in our lives who get us so completely that even the idea that they might not be there pulls the air from one's lungs. From her poem "O Laughter" comes this gem: Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings. Perfection! If I had to express this book in graph form it would be a steep incline immediately followed by a steep decline and finished off with a steady incline that disappears off the side of the page. Simply put, this is an absolutely lovely little book with beautiful prose and if it doesn't stir your heart I wonder if you even have one. 10/10
PS I'd also like to note that 1. I loved the finish on this book. It's like that velvety feeling that some books have and it was an absolute treat to hold it. 2. I enjoyed Cristin's book so much that I'm actively looking to read her other works (including a nonfiction book).
How to Love the Empty Air by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz is a collection of poetry which primarily focuses on her relationship with her mother (also a writer) and the grief she experienced after her death. Please don't think it's all doom and gloom and buckets of tears (although there is that too) because she also delves into the pockets of happiness that can be found amidst the overwhelming sadness of losing someone so dear. Cristin speaks to that part of the heart that is attuned to the people in our lives who get us so completely that even the idea that they might not be there pulls the air from one's lungs. From her poem "O Laughter" comes this gem: Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings. Perfection! If I had to express this book in graph form it would be a steep incline immediately followed by a steep decline and finished off with a steady incline that disappears off the side of the page. Simply put, this is an absolutely lovely little book with beautiful prose and if it doesn't stir your heart I wonder if you even have one. 10/10
PS I'd also like to note that 1. I loved the finish on this book. It's like that velvety feeling that some books have and it was an absolute treat to hold it. 2. I enjoyed Cristin's book so much that I'm actively looking to read her other works (including a nonfiction book).
December 24, 2023
Really beautiful and heartfelt. Losing a parent you deeply love hurts so much. Her mother was the rock in her life, like the father I lost five years ago was the rock in mine. Keep tissues close. I'm glad Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz writes poetry. Fantastic.
December 13, 2018
3.5 stars
I didn't love every poem, but man, did I cry buckets of tears reading this collection. About halfway through I started ugly crying and pretty much never stopped. This is because Aptowicz's collection deals predominantly with the grief of losing her mother. I am very close to my own mother, and even the thought of one day losing her is enough to upset me. Honestly, just trying to go back and find some lines to quote for this review is making me emotional! So for sheer emotional impact, I give this collection a big thumbs up. Where I was less impressed was with its technique... I particularly disliked the texting poems--they just struck me as lazy, harsh as that is to say. Several of the poems verged on Instapoet territory for me--though I guess Aptowicz is known for being a slam poet, a subset of poetry that I've always had an ambivalence towards. I mean, I think it can be done well, but so often it feels cheap to me (if I wanted to get meta about it, I think it's because my natural state is one of aloofness and actively trying not to appear earnest...). There will be individual lines that soar, but the entirety of the poem fails to come together in any coherent way. I like to feel like a poem is in conversation with the reader, but I don't want it to literally read like a conversation... like the poet is just talking. Idk. I guess this is turning into a debate with myself about what poetry is and what counts and what doesn't, and I didn't intend for this review to end up so harsh, so I'll get back to the things I did like. I liked the poems early on in the book about the mundanity of being a writer, her gratitude for her writing residency, and her mother's pride in her writing. I did feel a certain kinship with Aptowicz because I related to her sensitive nature and expressions of imposter syndrome. I'm rounding up for my star rating, because ultimately I felt a strong emotional connection to this collection, and I'm glad I read it.
tldr; I wasn't always in love with the craft of the poems, but many of them are moving and well worth your time.
I didn't love every poem, but man, did I cry buckets of tears reading this collection. About halfway through I started ugly crying and pretty much never stopped. This is because Aptowicz's collection deals predominantly with the grief of losing her mother. I am very close to my own mother, and even the thought of one day losing her is enough to upset me. Honestly, just trying to go back and find some lines to quote for this review is making me emotional! So for sheer emotional impact, I give this collection a big thumbs up. Where I was less impressed was with its technique... I particularly disliked the texting poems--they just struck me as lazy, harsh as that is to say. Several of the poems verged on Instapoet territory for me--though I guess Aptowicz is known for being a slam poet, a subset of poetry that I've always had an ambivalence towards. I mean, I think it can be done well, but so often it feels cheap to me (if I wanted to get meta about it, I think it's because my natural state is one of aloofness and actively trying not to appear earnest...). There will be individual lines that soar, but the entirety of the poem fails to come together in any coherent way. I like to feel like a poem is in conversation with the reader, but I don't want it to literally read like a conversation... like the poet is just talking. Idk. I guess this is turning into a debate with myself about what poetry is and what counts and what doesn't, and I didn't intend for this review to end up so harsh, so I'll get back to the things I did like. I liked the poems early on in the book about the mundanity of being a writer, her gratitude for her writing residency, and her mother's pride in her writing. I did feel a certain kinship with Aptowicz because I related to her sensitive nature and expressions of imposter syndrome. I'm rounding up for my star rating, because ultimately I felt a strong emotional connection to this collection, and I'm glad I read it.
tldr; I wasn't always in love with the craft of the poems, but many of them are moving and well worth your time.
April 23, 2018
In general I've had a bias toward poetry for no reason at all other than just a general unfamiliarity of it other than the rhyming verses of grade school classrooms so this was admittedly out of my comfort zone. However, when the book was pitched to me, it included a sample page and I was immediately plunged into the raw and visceral world that Christin captured on the page (see the sample I first read below). I felt like a fly on the wall reading How to Love the Empty Air. Cristin takes the reader on an intimate journey through one of her life's biggest accomplishments (a book deal!) and one of her life's worst fears (losing her mother). The words drip with hope, guilt, fear, longing and sadness, but the beauty in her writing is that even though you're going through this heartache with her, you don't feel weighed down by the heaviness of it all. Rather you cling to hope and grasp at the edges of moving forward but not forgetting the past. This is a beautiful collection of words and definitely worthy of #allthefeels.
“Six Months After”
My therapist tells me it’s okay to just cry,
to miss her. Sometimes there is no answer,
no pivoting, no framing things in a better light.
She says it’s okay to just miss, to just long
to look at the world as less than without her,
for now, or forever too. But definitely for now,
it’s okay to buried in it for a bit, to be in it,
to feel it. My mind whirls and buzzes, trying
to find its solution. The insects in the forest
behind my house scream every night trying to find
love in the dark. I sit with my dogs on the porch
when I can’t sleep and listen. Together we all watch
the sun creep across the sky like spilled wine.
A new day waiting to flood over us, no matter
how comfortable we’ve grown with the night.
*I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.*
“Six Months After”
My therapist tells me it’s okay to just cry,
to miss her. Sometimes there is no answer,
no pivoting, no framing things in a better light.
She says it’s okay to just miss, to just long
to look at the world as less than without her,
for now, or forever too. But definitely for now,
it’s okay to buried in it for a bit, to be in it,
to feel it. My mind whirls and buzzes, trying
to find its solution. The insects in the forest
behind my house scream every night trying to find
love in the dark. I sit with my dogs on the porch
when I can’t sleep and listen. Together we all watch
the sun creep across the sky like spilled wine.
A new day waiting to flood over us, no matter
how comfortable we’ve grown with the night.
*I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.*
April 5, 2018
Having lost my mother when I was just a teenager, I was drawn to How to Love the Empty Air. While grief is a very personal thing, there is comfort in the understanding of someone else who has experienced the same tragedy. Apotowicz holds nothing back in this collection. She shares her joys, her sorrows, and her pain in all its rawness. You laugh. You cry. You want to hug her because she feels so close as she stumbles around searching for that new normal that may never feel normal at all. Then she reaches that major milestone--one year after the death of her mother. Not enough time has passed to eliminate the heaviness of the loss, but by the end we can see some joy, a glimmer of happiness and new beginnings.
This is definitely one of my favorite collections. It is the seventh by Aptowicz. I'll be searching out more. If you want deep, meaningful, poetry that tugs at your heartstrings, How to Love the Empty Air is a collection worth reading.
This is definitely one of my favorite collections. It is the seventh by Aptowicz. I'll be searching out more. If you want deep, meaningful, poetry that tugs at your heartstrings, How to Love the Empty Air is a collection worth reading.
January 19, 2021
I lost my mother a little more than 3 months ago. The wound is still fresh and raw, so many of these poems resonated and spoke truth to the depth and complexity of what I'm feeling. It was also a glimpse into the future, how I might feel on the first mother's day without her, or the anniversary of her death. Each poem was full of vulnerability, laying bare the pain of grief and the reality of such a loss. Aptowicz does a phenomenal job of characterizing her mother and the relationship they had, and what that relationship means and becomes after her death. Somehow the poem that made me truly sob was the very last one in the book. How I wish I had memories like that with my own mom. This was a tender and wrenching tribute to the love of a life time and the loss of a lifetime. Mostly I just want to thank the author for bringing this gorgeous collection into the world, I will treasure it forever.
July 5, 2018
Definitely "Vulnerable and beautiful". This is a very heartwarming and heart breaking story told in poems. What's more heart breaking than the death of someone's mother unfolding on the pages before you? I actually got choked up a few times reading this. I am sure this will be one I will read over more than a few times. I have already read most of it twice!
Besides just being sad - this is real. Cristin gets a little snarky at times, and I love that. I love that she could mix a little humor with this heaviness that was on her heart. I am glad that she could share this with her readers. I am glad that I was allowed into her life for a bit. Thank you Cristin for letting me into your life through your poetry! I do hope I get to read more from you!
I voluntarily posted this review after receiving a copy of this book from Poetic Book Tours - Thank You!!
Besides just being sad - this is real. Cristin gets a little snarky at times, and I love that. I love that she could mix a little humor with this heaviness that was on her heart. I am glad that she could share this with her readers. I am glad that I was allowed into her life for a bit. Thank you Cristin for letting me into your life through your poetry! I do hope I get to read more from you!
I voluntarily posted this review after receiving a copy of this book from Poetic Book Tours - Thank You!!
June 3, 2018
I decided to read this book because I follow Cristin socially about reading her amazing book about Dr. Mutter and learned that she had a new book of poetry. I've always enjoyed poetry and this latest book is about her grief and the loss of her mother. I am always drawn to stories about grief and the loss of a parent having lost my father in 2007. I think I am drawn to such books because I want to relate how others have dealt with the topic compared to how I have dealt or am dealing with in my life. I guess it is somewhat of a sanity gut-check on my feelings. Anyhow, this book of poetry was terrific, honest and thought-provoking. You cannot help but reflect on a personal loss while reading this book. Cristin is about as real as it gets.
July 4, 2018
My Dad gave me an appreciation for poetry when I was young, or at least a certain type of poetry...the kind that touches the heart, and this book definitely does that. It is so beautifully written, so raw, so real! I seldom keep books I've read, most of them get passed on. However, this one I'm going to hold onto, at least for a while....until I find someone who needs it more than I do. It will be the perfect gift....saying just the right thing when words fail me. So appreciate Cristin's insightfulness, her ability to express what so many of us have felt. My favorite poem in this book was "There Are Places I'll Remember"....brought back some bittersweet memories, not to mention the song has always held a special place in my heart.
April 28, 2018
Cristin takes us through the events leading up to, though, and after her mother's death. It's vulnerable, funny, and heart-breaking all at once. Her poetic voice is very conversational, so if you are hesitant to read poetry, this is a great entry point. Just make sure you have some tissues on hand. Also, Cristin does an incredible job performing her poems live, so you should look up videos of hers ASAP.
March 31, 2018
Loved this gorgeous emotional book of poetry.From the opening poem when Cristin realizes she ca no longer live in ny.I was born &bred in Ny & it it's did break my heart when I had to leave.Cristins poems are raw intimate breathtaking.
August 6, 2018
This is a powerful collection of poems about the process of dealing with the grief of losing your mother. I teared up several times while reading and it makes me terrified for the day when my mom will no longer be here.
November 30, 2018
This slim (88 pages) poetry collection dealt mostly with the sudden death--and aftermath--of the author's mother. Aptowicz writes well; because I liked this book, I may read some of her other work, including a best-selling nonfiction title. Recommended for poetry readers.
January 3, 2019
Terminé el 2018 y empecé el 2019 con este libro. Es un libro generoso, honesto, hermoso. Me ha hecho llorar, reír, desear escribir otra vez. No conocía a la autora: ahora quiero leer todo lo que ha escrito.
June 4, 2021
"Sometimes I look like a stranger,
a person I never thought I'd be.
Other times, I look like a woman
who is at least trying, like a person
that I am choosing
to become."
Anyway I cried a lot and called my mom.
a person I never thought I'd be.
Other times, I look like a woman
who is at least trying, like a person
that I am choosing
to become."
Anyway I cried a lot and called my mom.
March 7, 2025
Aptowicz is all hits no skips. This is a beautiful collection of poems about walking into an unexpected life and the overwhelm of grief and how sometimes, the most joyful time of your life is also the most sorrowful. The work moved me to tears.
March 23, 2025
You know when a book of poetry has you catching your breath? You read and re-read because- Yes! This is the feeling. I, too, know this feeling like I know my hands. This book is a gift in how it handles the best things in life (relationships) and the ultimate loss of them. Highly recommend.
July 15, 2025
a collection honoring the poet's mother- in life and death. a few of these poems really struck me. she writes about her mother, her grief, with an authenticity that can't be ignored. my qualms with the collection arise in its form (ex: line breaks seem chosen at random, many poems don't have a tightness or clarity in image, use of texting lingo which i don't like in poetry). also sometimes the poems seemed... well. self aggrandizing? a lot of them were about how proud the poet's mother was of her and how much she loved her. i guess i would have liked more poems that showed us this rather than told us. anyway, glad i read it.
March 25, 2018
It was beautiful and heartbreaking. A book that the universe felt like I needed to read.
April 1, 2018
Vivid, relatable, and quietly devastating.
September 3, 2018
A stunning book of prose. I almost cried several times at how connected I felt to her words.
March 25, 2019
So simple. So poignant.
January 9, 2020
4,5stars - the most personal poetry I've ever read.
December 24, 2020
I will read it again and again and it will not be enough
May 26, 2021
Reading Aptowicz always renews my faith in modern poetry. Her voice is so authentic and identifiable. This collection about her mother passing away was a beautiful celebration of love and life.
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