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150 pages, Paperback
Published October 29, 2018
At what point do scholars [stop] consuming knowledge through readings as if that was their entrance to worlds and ideas that are not meant to be explained but lived and felt? Will there ever be a phrase, a word, a sound, a passage, a dream or a nightmare that will make some people [stop]?
The first written text [my grandfather] handed to me came from the belly of a Douglas AC-47 Spooky as it flew over our homes, nicknamed “Puff, the Magic Dragon,” as I learned later on in life, manufactured by the Douglas Aircraft Company in Santa Monica, California.
Decolonizing in action means that if you are a white person claiming to be teaching and researching in decolonizing practices, stop lining up to speak at conferences about injustice and start demanding change so POC can take up the space it has been denied to them. You do not get to speak about our pain, claiming authorship over what we go through and getting away with it.
1:00pm I get an email from a friend who tells me I should consider applying to a job that seems like the perfect fit: “The Department of Humanities of XYZ prestigious university seeks for an expert in transnational and comparative perspectives of literatures from the Global South. We are particularly interested in scholars who can implement a rigorous research agenda using an intersectional approach to notions of class, race, gender, ethnicity, and why not? Caste. Our department is committed to encouraging minorities to apply, particularly women of colour.”
365 days later “The Department of Humanities of XYZ prestigious welcomes our new heterosexual and Eurocentric professor, from England, whose research specializes in literatures from the Global South. He spent a summer in India, three weeks in Bolivia and participated in a summer study abroad program in Guatemala building a school. We are very privileged that he can join us.”
You want to know about me until your smells poison your senses from the enduring ghosts of centuries of slavery, domestication, subjugation, subordination, dependency, and servitude.
Math is the universal language and so is pain. Trying to find the medium to project the essence of violence is like finding a grain of sugar in the Namib Desert. So when my colonized brown body experiences academic practices under the banner of “decolonizing” I am being colonized once again.
Be UNapologetically political. The dreams of our ancestors are the rays of sun feeding you through the vertebral column. There is no place or space in academia for earthy skin tones. Invent them both: splace.
At conferences, I was acknowledged if I had a tag with the name of the institution and ignored when I removed it. In class, I was acknowledged if I spoke English properly and rapidly ignored if I brought the accent to the table. In job academic interviews, I was acknowledged if I was accompanied by a popular academic who everyone wanted to network with but dismissed if I was with a non-tenure POC professor.
Mujer sin Apellido de la Divina Gracia is the first woman from the village to make it in the U.S.A. She was born in the fabricated dreamy land of Elvis Presley, Madonna, sneakers, jeans, and highways. No one in her family had been where white people go to school. Her teachers always told her parents she was special. Her mother would imagine her daughter wearing an expensive suite, like the ones from catalogues. She was destined to be the family’s salvation.
“Mija, we are so proud of your accomplishments. We’re so happy you don’t have to work as hard as we had to. I have been enslaved emotionally worried about your professional freedom. Our impaired lives working like burros pierced our initial dreams when we tried falling asleep on the train coming home every\day. We knew from the moment you got an award in grade one your future in this country will be secured. Every\body in town talks about you, mija linda. You’ve made it. One thousand sacrifices later, you’re a university professor. I bet you have a nice office, corazón, with lots and lots of books. Your boss must know how essential you are to students. We know you can’t help us yet because you’re saving for your pedazo de tierra. You know, we had this plan since you were born. We worked hard so that our hija could excel in the land of opportunities. Ay, mija, at least someone is putting the name of the familia so high. Your aunties can’t stop talking about you during las fiestas. I tell them you’re a very important person. I have faith you will save us from this misery one day.”
Dear poc considering academia:
Even with the awards, grants, accreditations, networks, perfect candidacy, the promise of becoming a rising star, unconditional support of your family, high-ranking affiliations, extra-curricular engagements, book contracts, straight hair, constellation of exemplary community service, letters of references, good intentions to “save the world,” perfected accent You will need: palo alto, fuego, your mama’s prayers, witches by your side, documents, spices, a good pair of running shoes, an eraser, imagination, tequila, patience, your grandmother’s scarf, fighting gloves, cursing words, an onion, a compass, poetry, hoop earrings, a hammock, a cultural map, vitamin B12, to practice reciprocity, nerves of steel, a mirror, black nail polish, monster-like drawings, wings, cartoons, a rainbow, UNcontaminated water, backrubs, UNobstructed ears, crocodile skin, a megaphone, a broom, intuition, unmasking toolkit, a garland made of lavender, a vessel carrying the spirit of every female POC warrior, rocks, a reminder to charge for emotional labour for privileged folks, re-reading glasses and radical love.