Thinks

by Keith Waterhouse

"Look, my friend, I've come in here for a haircut, not a lecture on pigging agriculture..."

Faced with the maddening frustrations of modern urban life, Edgar Bapty is a seething cauldron of resentment. Yet his scathing letters of complaint never get written, let alone sent - and his devastatingly cutting comments bounce around his middle-aged brain without being uttered. To the outside world he is a nondescript, rather unctuous little man. Inside, however, Edgar Bapty is perpetually exploding with rage - his thoughts are like non-stop machine-gun bullets of incoherent fury.

Does Edgar Bapty sound familiar?

Thinks is a masterpiece of our time, a brilliant tragi-comedy which tells it like it is for millions of people trapped in the urban rat-race of Britain today.



Front cover illustration by Bill Kimpton

208 pages, Paperback

First published February 27, 1986

About the author

Keith Spencer Waterhouse CBE, was a novelist, newspaper columnist, and the writer of many television series.

Reviews

[🐴 🍖]

neat & (to this reader's knowledge) sui generis flip of 3rd person limited POV, wherein we the readers are privy to edgar bapty's thoughts but forbidden to eavesdrop on what's actually spoken. it is uhhhh not what we generally understand to be a rich inner life: bapty by turns fulminates against enemies, rewrites conversations based on what he should've said, drafts & revises small talk, pens imaginary complaint letters to his bank, & blocks painful thoughts using a torrent of non sequiturs such as "luggage bath." brilliant illustration of what the buddhists call "monkey mind"... since reading have striven to catch myself thinking baptyisms & course correct. spherical objects, let's get a pigging reissue already

[John Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a huge fan of Keith Waterhouse since the sixties when I looked forward to his twice weekly column in the Daily Mirror. Back then, as a callow teenager, I aspired to write like him. Ha ! If only. 'Thinks' is a small pocket size book that punches well above its weight.
It is the story of Edgar Bapty, 'everyman.' He is you and me fighting against the tide of frustrations of modern urban life. He is Victor Meldrew and then some. But his scathing letters of complaint never get sent. His sharply cutting comments never fall on anyone's ears.
He is an internal combustion machine.
'Thinks' was first published in 1984. If Edgar Bapty were around today he'd probably explode.
It is more relevant than ever in today's World.
I can do no better than re-print some of the reviews of the time.

"it is a masterpiece of our time. A brilliant tragi-comedy which tells it like it is for millions of people trapped in the urban rat-race of Britain today."

"Thinks is sad, bitter, furious and desperate. It is also very funny. It might be the best British novel published this year." George Thaw; Daily Mirror.

"The funniest and most effective book I have read for years. Magnificent. A masterpiece. I would put it amongst the best 15 to 20 English novels since the war." Auberon Waugh: Daily Mail.
"A vivid, disturbing tragi comedy." Carol Rumens: The Guardian.

"A brilliantly contrived cartoon speech balloon of a novel. The Times.

[Derek Baldwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The stream of consciousness of an average sort of a guy, its an average sort of a book - but fun in its way.

[W · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very unusual. Puts you in a weird liminal space for reading stream of consciousness and voyeuristic oddness. Not Waterhouse's best but as something experimental I appreciate the attempt to add it to the body of work.

[Janet Bird · Rating 1 out of 5]

Despite being by one of my favourite authors I couldn't get into this one.