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The Way of Cats: How to use their instincts to train, understand, and love them
We can train a cat. We can fix cat problems. We can get love. The Way of Cats is a way of playing games with our cat. These communication, training, and affection games are fun and easy to learn. Then we have well-behaved and happy cats. The cat rescuer behind the popular blog the Way of Cats has gathered all of the most necessary instructions to create the loving relationship we always wanted. Here, all is --How to read, and speak, Cat --Bring them to the negotiation table --Learn the Cat Types --How to pick the right cat --Don't fear the shelter cat --Kitten or adult, purebred or mixed breed? --Get the cat to love you --Learn the right ways to explain and train --Care for them in a way that keeps them healthy --Fix those behavior problems --Talk to our cat so they will listen From decades in cat rescue to years as the Dear Pammy of online cat advice, Pamela Merritt explains how we can gain cooperation, solve puzzles, and reveal the cat's secret heart. It is nothing less than a revolution in cat enjoyment.
- GenresNonfictionCats
299 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 30, 2018
241 people are currently reading
38 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 2, 2024
[review from 2019]
This book is full of warmth and also will make you fuzzy on the inside from time to time.
Having read Think Like a Cat: How to Raise a Well-Adjusted Cat—Not a Sour Puss and having confidence that I've covered all bases for ensuring them a nice and cozy home, I wanted to step up and was on the hunt for a book that will help me understand them, not in general, like the reasons why they're doing something, but more particular - what message are they trying to convey to me.
Since my human social skills aren't great, and the perception neither, I needed a book that will help me. This one did, and went above and beyond my expectations.
I know that we don't literally understand each other, however now definitely have better feeling for each other. And it's like, when I started to be more mindful towards them, they reciprocated and react more in alignment with what I've tried to say to them, I can get their attention and not being ignored, because I gave them my attention.
I really like some advice about how to talk to them, how our gestures and pointing to things (clock, door etc) is important, and I definitely see much better connection between us. I mean, I can even convince them to exit some room just by calling them and holding the doors and pointing with my fingers and/or eyes in the direction of the exit, or switching off the lights and calling them. It doesn't even matter what exact words I say.
I mean, maybe that's also training, but it's not that I've spend time with repeating my gesture and having treats to train them directly to respond to command, just changed my gestures and emphasized them.
Ok, it doesn't work all the time, but before this book only option that worked was to catch them.
I definitely plan to reread this book, since I read it so fast and even though I caught a lot of stuff, I'm sure I've missed a lot as well, and book is loaded with good ideas to put into the practice.
Cat background story:
We picked (or they picked us, it's unclear :D) two from the shelter, for both we're told they need patience, that one is cuddly but not too much, while another definitely isn't lap cat, will allow only several second short cuddle and that's it (he came from a home where owners didn't have time for him, and was even aggressive).
With those two books as main source of information, results six months later:
First one sleeps for hours in my partner's lap, and in our bed (usually on my head, started first night like that) and offers belly for little cuddling and enjoys being groomed (everything below the neck was no go zone when he came).
Second one, I can pick up, bring to bed for cuddles, he purrs all the way and stays for 15 minutes of kneading my armpit, oh and drools so much :D Of course, belly rubs are also allowed and sleeping with legs up is common and I can come and shortly cuddle him and he'll just start purring. Recently he started to sleep in our bed as well, during the day.
I call this a win :)
Addition in 2024:
I reread the book in 2021, and I'll definitely do it once more. Some books just bring you new perspective when you come later, this is one of them.
First cat is definitely a cuddly monster, few weeks ago he woke me up to cuddle him, like paw poking, nose head bumps, whole nine yards. The audacity :D Of course I obliged :D
And he helped me realise what he, as a cat, is able to communicate, that some people around me aren't - if we playfully wrestle, and he goes a bit too far, and I say 'ouch' he'll 1. immediately stop, 2. grab my hand with his paws with claws retracted and lick me gently, 3. we'll continue play with him being gentler.
Then if he gets overexcited/overwhelmed, either I'll stop, or he will. In both cases after few minutes of cooling off he'll usually come and smush his butt beside mine to take a nap.
Of course, as per book advice - I use ouch with voice that sounds hurt, but still gentle. He gets no harsh words from us. He'll come when called, jumped onto furniture when you pat and say 'hop', lie down or sit, depending on the command. Yes, body language has to be aligned, and last training shouldn't be too long ago, still, he'll remember with some nudges / finger pointing.
Other one is definitely 'short term lap cat', terms are now longer, however, he still prefers just butt up against me, and he'll stay for hour-two easily. He'll also usually respond when called, when I seek him to find where he's resting, and I coo to him to greet him and give kiss, he'll usually reply with cutest 'mew' ever.
Yes, they really can communicate with you. In their, cat way. You too also can communicate with them. In their, cat way :)
I'm working on my traumas from the past and toxic people I've encountered or had in life. What they showed me, was that if they - cats - can do it (stop when you say stop, apologise, amend/adjust), any human CAN, they just don't want to. And yes, my given amount of kindness, patience and communication towards humans is very similar, I mean, I obviously can explicitly talk with humans, but to be heard, they clearly proved human/conventional language skills are not needed. :) So, they helped me understand it's not a "me problem", it's "them problem". Eye opening and catalysed some big life changes about who should kindly leave my life :D
In 2019 when I picked this book, I couldn't even imagine how deep revelations about life I'll get just from the desire to show my cats that I love them and that I'm there for them, and found book that seemed interesting, read it, used a bunch of advices and saw pretty fast feedback.
It's a bit sad that so many people refuse to read it (like, general lack of desire to read something about their pets), and even my enthusiasm can't convince them. And that same people will tell me how my cats are awesome and will express jealousy. And I'm trying to explain to them that I believe all cats are THAT awesome, that theirs can be more cuddly and more trusting and more relaxed than they're now, you just have to try to understand them and speak language they understand, "here's the manual", but nope, they won't budge :(
That won't stop me from trying though :D
If you're still reading this, stop - go read the book, that's more useful than my comment :D
This book is full of warmth and also will make you fuzzy on the inside from time to time.
Having read Think Like a Cat: How to Raise a Well-Adjusted Cat—Not a Sour Puss and having confidence that I've covered all bases for ensuring them a nice and cozy home, I wanted to step up and was on the hunt for a book that will help me understand them, not in general, like the reasons why they're doing something, but more particular - what message are they trying to convey to me.
Since my human social skills aren't great, and the perception neither, I needed a book that will help me. This one did, and went above and beyond my expectations.
I know that we don't literally understand each other, however now definitely have better feeling for each other. And it's like, when I started to be more mindful towards them, they reciprocated and react more in alignment with what I've tried to say to them, I can get their attention and not being ignored, because I gave them my attention.
I really like some advice about how to talk to them, how our gestures and pointing to things (clock, door etc) is important, and I definitely see much better connection between us. I mean, I can even convince them to exit some room just by calling them and holding the doors and pointing with my fingers and/or eyes in the direction of the exit, or switching off the lights and calling them. It doesn't even matter what exact words I say.
I mean, maybe that's also training, but it's not that I've spend time with repeating my gesture and having treats to train them directly to respond to command, just changed my gestures and emphasized them.
Ok, it doesn't work all the time, but before this book only option that worked was to catch them.
I definitely plan to reread this book, since I read it so fast and even though I caught a lot of stuff, I'm sure I've missed a lot as well, and book is loaded with good ideas to put into the practice.
Cat background story:
We picked (or they picked us, it's unclear :D) two from the shelter, for both we're told they need patience, that one is cuddly but not too much, while another definitely isn't lap cat, will allow only several second short cuddle and that's it (he came from a home where owners didn't have time for him, and was even aggressive).
With those two books as main source of information, results six months later:
First one sleeps for hours in my partner's lap, and in our bed (usually on my head, started first night like that) and offers belly for little cuddling and enjoys being groomed (everything below the neck was no go zone when he came).
Second one, I can pick up, bring to bed for cuddles, he purrs all the way and stays for 15 minutes of kneading my armpit, oh and drools so much :D Of course, belly rubs are also allowed and sleeping with legs up is common and I can come and shortly cuddle him and he'll just start purring. Recently he started to sleep in our bed as well, during the day.
I call this a win :)
Addition in 2024:
I reread the book in 2021, and I'll definitely do it once more. Some books just bring you new perspective when you come later, this is one of them.
First cat is definitely a cuddly monster, few weeks ago he woke me up to cuddle him, like paw poking, nose head bumps, whole nine yards. The audacity :D Of course I obliged :D
And he helped me realise what he, as a cat, is able to communicate, that some people around me aren't - if we playfully wrestle, and he goes a bit too far, and I say 'ouch' he'll 1. immediately stop, 2. grab my hand with his paws with claws retracted and lick me gently, 3. we'll continue play with him being gentler.
Then if he gets overexcited/overwhelmed, either I'll stop, or he will. In both cases after few minutes of cooling off he'll usually come and smush his butt beside mine to take a nap.
Of course, as per book advice - I use ouch with voice that sounds hurt, but still gentle. He gets no harsh words from us. He'll come when called, jumped onto furniture when you pat and say 'hop', lie down or sit, depending on the command. Yes, body language has to be aligned, and last training shouldn't be too long ago, still, he'll remember with some nudges / finger pointing.
Other one is definitely 'short term lap cat', terms are now longer, however, he still prefers just butt up against me, and he'll stay for hour-two easily. He'll also usually respond when called, when I seek him to find where he's resting, and I coo to him to greet him and give kiss, he'll usually reply with cutest 'mew' ever.
Yes, they really can communicate with you. In their, cat way. You too also can communicate with them. In their, cat way :)
I'm working on my traumas from the past and toxic people I've encountered or had in life. What they showed me, was that if they - cats - can do it (stop when you say stop, apologise, amend/adjust), any human CAN, they just don't want to. And yes, my given amount of kindness, patience and communication towards humans is very similar, I mean, I obviously can explicitly talk with humans, but to be heard, they clearly proved human/conventional language skills are not needed. :) So, they helped me understand it's not a "me problem", it's "them problem". Eye opening and catalysed some big life changes about who should kindly leave my life :D
In 2019 when I picked this book, I couldn't even imagine how deep revelations about life I'll get just from the desire to show my cats that I love them and that I'm there for them, and found book that seemed interesting, read it, used a bunch of advices and saw pretty fast feedback.
It's a bit sad that so many people refuse to read it (like, general lack of desire to read something about their pets), and even my enthusiasm can't convince them. And that same people will tell me how my cats are awesome and will express jealousy. And I'm trying to explain to them that I believe all cats are THAT awesome, that theirs can be more cuddly and more trusting and more relaxed than they're now, you just have to try to understand them and speak language they understand, "here's the manual", but nope, they won't budge :(
That won't stop me from trying though :D
If you're still reading this, stop - go read the book, that's more useful than my comment :D
March 16, 2020
There are definitely some excellent concepts in here that will help you realize that your cats are communicating with you, you are just not listening!
There has been a lot of evidence that domestic animals - including cats, dogs and horses - understand human facial expressions! Cats also understand pointing gestures, definitely.
What did not click with me was 'miming' complex ideas such as having a guest who is coming over to fix a broken object. Cats exist primarily in the 'now'. They remember the past, they understand future obviously, as they can anticipate events like their people coming home, dinner time, and for those poor cats outside who hunt, they show patience and anticipation of hunting.
That said, they exist in the now. It's like the past is to help them learn. Routine helps them understand when something is going to happen. But they don't sit and wallow in the past as is evident by cats who lose a limb or start getting ill. It very quickly becomes the new normal and they don't dwell. The future is similar. They anticipate what will happen because it has happened before. They don't have complex problem solving and analytical skills to understand human concepts.
So miming a complex situation about a visitor fixing an object had me questioning it. Cats don't exactly understand fixing objects. Broken to a cat is just the new normal of that object. They understand it's the same object, just changed. So fixing it, it just changed again. But miming fixing an object probably only looks like you are playing with it like they would. How would they get fixing out of it when they might even think the object is 'dead' when it's broken and there's no fixing that.
Plus cats are definitely intelligent but complex miming might be too much for them to understand the nuances. Gestures definitely and they understand the tone and even common words. They understand emotions. Scents. Routines.
That said, cats are definitely happier when you are trying to 'listen' to them.
There has been a lot of evidence that domestic animals - including cats, dogs and horses - understand human facial expressions! Cats also understand pointing gestures, definitely.
What did not click with me was 'miming' complex ideas such as having a guest who is coming over to fix a broken object. Cats exist primarily in the 'now'. They remember the past, they understand future obviously, as they can anticipate events like their people coming home, dinner time, and for those poor cats outside who hunt, they show patience and anticipation of hunting.
That said, they exist in the now. It's like the past is to help them learn. Routine helps them understand when something is going to happen. But they don't sit and wallow in the past as is evident by cats who lose a limb or start getting ill. It very quickly becomes the new normal and they don't dwell. The future is similar. They anticipate what will happen because it has happened before. They don't have complex problem solving and analytical skills to understand human concepts.
So miming a complex situation about a visitor fixing an object had me questioning it. Cats don't exactly understand fixing objects. Broken to a cat is just the new normal of that object. They understand it's the same object, just changed. So fixing it, it just changed again. But miming fixing an object probably only looks like you are playing with it like they would. How would they get fixing out of it when they might even think the object is 'dead' when it's broken and there's no fixing that.
Plus cats are definitely intelligent but complex miming might be too much for them to understand the nuances. Gestures definitely and they understand the tone and even common words. They understand emotions. Scents. Routines.
That said, cats are definitely happier when you are trying to 'listen' to them.
December 21, 2020
Fun and informative. Great for cat people.
March 29, 2022
Bought this book before I got my kitten because I had never raised a cat. I’ve read other books about cats but this one … it’s a must in my opinion. Made me fall in love with my cats before I had them and had truly helped me create a loving home that makes them feel like things such as clipping toe nails and brushing them are their ideas. This book is fun to read and such a great help.
January 20, 2021
This book is insightful and interesting! It has techniques in it that I think I will try. Like some other reviewers, I do think that some parts are a bit "out there" -- doing one-person skits to explain something to the cats is, I think, a stretch. I also think a lot of the advice that seems weird actually makes a lot of sense. Explaining something to your cat seems weird, but cats will pick up a lot from your tone and body language, even if they don't understand the words. You're doing the explanation for yourself, so that your body language is expressing the correct things to your cat.
The author apparently has another book coming out at some point that is specifically geared for multi-cat households, and I will definitely be reading it!
The author apparently has another book coming out at some point that is specifically geared for multi-cat households, and I will definitely be reading it!
July 23, 2019
As someone who's been owned by cats for a few decades, I didn't think I had much to learn about them. I was wrong! There is a wealth of really good tips here, for dealing with cat problems, and communicating with them, on their level. I've begun applying some of the techniques with my own pair, Motivation and Creativity, and they seem happier and more content. Highly recommend.
August 4, 2020
I loved this book; the author has brilliant insight into what motivates a cat. Amazingly, I taught my cat to use ONLY her scratching post (something I'd been struggling with for weeks) in only two days using Pamela Merritt's techniques. Can't recommend it highly enough. Plus, it's an entertaining read.
June 1, 2021
Cat Lovers Alert
Best cat book I've read. Recommended this book to a friend of mine who runs a no-kill cat shelter. I suggested she make it a Christmas present to all on her list. Gonna gift myself with a hard copy of the book so I can refer to it whenever the need arises. Heartfelt thanks for this book.
Best cat book I've read. Recommended this book to a friend of mine who runs a no-kill cat shelter. I suggested she make it a Christmas present to all on her list. Gonna gift myself with a hard copy of the book so I can refer to it whenever the need arises. Heartfelt thanks for this book.
June 5, 2020
Some good stuff in a lot of words.
There are a lot of good suggestions about how to deal with cat problems, but there is also a lot of fluff like when she explains that you should show your cat a clock before day light savings to ease it’s anxiety over the time change.
There are a lot of good suggestions about how to deal with cat problems, but there is also a lot of fluff like when she explains that you should show your cat a clock before day light savings to ease it’s anxiety over the time change.
November 7, 2020
Fascinating book about fascinating animals
I understand a lot more now about how cats think and what they need from us. Meet them halfway and they'll repay your efforts with love and loyalty.
I understand a lot more now about how cats think and what they need from us. Meet them halfway and they'll repay your efforts with love and loyalty.
October 26, 2019
Helpful insight
I love connecting with my cats as much as possible. They are d
So much different as house pets than dogs
I love connecting with my cats as much as possible. They are d
So much different as house pets than dogs
October 18, 2020
Training info
Loved the advise and clarity in the different types of cats and their behavior. Helped me to communicate with our cat.
Loved the advise and clarity in the different types of cats and their behavior. Helped me to communicate with our cat.
April 18, 2021
Great primary information explaining feline behavior. Wonderful information and stories explaining cat-human relationships.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews