If facial expressions could count as reviews, this book would earn itself a very firm eye roll and gagging noise. But since you can't see my face, I'm going to try to put into words the sheer annoyance I have for this book.
First of all, it's written in free verse. That's right - a full length novel. In free verse! Not just a few passages like I thought when I bought this mess of a book, but the WHOLE thing. When I read the first page, that should have been my first clue that this whole thing was about to go to hell, because free verse novels are rarely good, in my experience. But I still tried because goddammit, one day I might find a book in free verse that I actually like and swallow my words. I will give this book the benefit of the doubt that it is a translation and that the French original may have been better. Unfortunately, I read the English version, and it was crap.
Second of all, the characters were two of the most insufferable people I've ever had the displeasure to read about. This was most definitely not a love story; this was a lust story. All these two wanted was to get in each other's pants for TEN FREAKING YEARS. And to that I say: just bone already and stop bothering everyone with your fake deep pretentious nonsense! Eugene was the most annoying of the two; he's an emo rich boy who thinks he has it tough because he's sooooo much deeper, sooooo much cleverer, sooooo much more aware of the facts of life than the people around him. So when he discovers that the little 14-year-old neighbour girl has a crush on him, he decides it's up to his 17-year-old wiseass (yeah, by the way, he's almost eighteen and she's fifteen, which is fucking weird but I'm not gonna get into that because that'd be a whole other discussion) to teach this "kid" (his words, not mine) about how the world works. Well aren't you a knight in shining armor?! Then, ten years later when he comes across her again, the first thing he thinks about her is how hot she is and gets jealous of her thesis supervisor because he thinks they're sleeping together, which is like ???? She's a grown ass woman, and it's none of your business, you absolute clown! Then he spends two days stalking her and thinking about how much he wants to fuck her. Like… are you kidding me? And the nail in the coffin is when he takes it personally that she's moving to America to finish her degree, and basically pressures her into sleeping with him. It's so damn pathetic I have no words. I really, really hate Eugene.
Tatiana, honestly, was not much better. This bitch literally spent ten years pining for an idiot like Eugene, which I cannot forgive her for. Also, the level of pretentiousness that she reaches is astounding; even when she was 14 years old, she thought she was soooo much better than her classmates because she reads books and likes discussing philosophy. Like, okay? You think you’re unique? She embodies the "I'm not like other girls" mentality, and I am really over it. When she's older, she's writing her PhD thesis on some obscure painter, and whenever someone doesn't know who he is, she goes "it's fine, no one knows who he is" like she's soooo much smarter than everyone else because she knows who this painter is, like just shut up. The nail in the coffin was when this fucking snob had the nerve to judge her older sister's stable, loving marriage because she thought it was "boring". She literally sits there, in her sister's living room, thinking, "Wow I could never have such a boring life, such a boring love story." I just- no. Fuck off. Who gave you the right to judge other people's relationship when you've been hung up on some teenage asshole that rejected you for half of your life??? I cannot.
Frankly, I thought Olga (Tatiana's older sister) and Lensky, her boyfriend, would have made for a much more interesting novel, because their relationship is juicier and has more drama. Not that I would read said novel, I'm just saying that it would have been a more interesting hot mess than the hot mess we actually got in this book.
Finally, I cannot forgive this book because I did not get the cute, romantic, Paris setting I was promised. There's so little of actual Paris in this novel, which was what I had really come for, so there's just nothing to redeem this book at all.
I'm sure there's a public for this novel, but that public is is not me. Merci, bonsoir.