My Dearest Julia: The Wartime Letters of Ulysses S. Grant to His Wife

by Ulysses S. Grant, Ron Chernow (Introduction)

The Civil War’s greatest general as you’ve never seen him A revealing collection of letters written by Ulysses S. Grant to his wife, Julia, perfect for American history buffs.

Grant’s intimate reflections on the War in Mexico and the Civil War “[show] his remarkable evolution from an insecure young soldier to a capable, self-confident general” (Ron Chernow).

Ulysses S. Grant is justly celebrated as the author of one of the finest military autobiographies ever written, yet many readers of his Personal Memoirs are unaware that during his army years Grant wrote hundreds of intimate and revealing letters to his wife, Julia Dent Grant.
 
Presented with an introduction by acclaimed biographer Ron Chernow, My Dearest Julia collects more than eighty of these letters, beginning with their engagement in 1844 and ending with the Union victory in 1865. They record Grant's first experience under fire in Mexico (“There is no great sport in having bullets flying about one in every direction but I find they have less horror when among them than when in anticipation”), the aching homesickness that led him to resign from the peacetime army, and his rapid rise to high command during the Civil War.
 
Often written in haste, sometimes within the sound of gunfire, his wartime letters vividly capture the immediacy and uncertainty of the conflict. Grant initially hoped for an early conclusion to the fighting, but then came to accept that the war would have no easy end. “The world has never seen so bloody or so protracted a battle as the one being fought,” he wrote from Spotsylvania in 1864, “and I hope never will again.”

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Biography, Civil War, Memoir, American History, War

183 pages, Hardcover

Published October 16, 2018

About the author

Ulysses Simpson Grant, originally Hiram Ulysses Grant, in Civil War victoriously campaigned at Vicksburg from 1862 to 1863, and, made commander in chief of the Army in 1864, accepted the surrender of Robert Edward Lee, general, at Appomattox in 1865; widespread graft and corruption marred his two-term presidency, the eighteenth of the United States, from 1869 to 1877.

Robert Edward Lee surrendered to Ulysses Simpson Grant at Appomattox in 1865.

Robert Edward Lee, Confederate general, surrendered to Ulysses Simpson Grant, Union general, at the hamlet of Appomattox Court House on 9 April 1865 to end effectively the Civil War.


The son of an Appalachian tanner of Ohio, Ulysses Simpson Grant of America entered the military academy at 17 years of age in 1839. The academy graduated him in 1843. In 1846, three years afterward, Grant served as a lieutenant in the Mexican War under Winfield Scott and Zachary Taylor. The conflict concluded in 1848.

Grant abruptly resigned in 1854. After struggling through the succeeding years as a real estate agent, a laborer, and a county engineer, Grant decided to join the northern effort.

Abraham Lincoln appointed Grant to brigadier of volunteers in 1861; he in 1862 claimed the first major capture of fort Henry and fort Donelson in Tennessee. A Confederate attack at the battle of Shiloh surprised him, who emerged, but the severe casualties prompted a public outcry. Following many long initial setbacks and his rescue of the besieged at Chattanooga, however, Grant subsequently established his reputation as most aggression and success to Lincoln. Named lieutenant in 1864, Grant implemented a coordinated strategy of simultaneous attacks, aimed at destroying ability of economy to sustain forces of the south. He mounted a successful attrition against his Confederate opponents to courthouse in 1865.

After Andrew Jackson, four decades earlier, people elected duly popular Grant as a Republican in 1868 and re-elected him in 1872 as the first to serve fully. Grant signed and enforced congressional rights legislation to lead Reconstruction.
Grant built a powerful, patronage-based Republican Party in the south and strained relations between the north and former Confederates. Sometimes, nepotism produced scandal of his Administration; people coined the neologism to describe his politics.

Grant left office in 1877 and embarked upon a two-year world tour. Unsuccessful in winning the nomination for a third in 1880, left destitute by a fraudulent investor, and near the brink of death, Grant wrote his Memoirs, which were enormously successful among veterans, the public, and critics. However, in 1884, Grant learned that he was suffering from terminal throat cancer and, two days after completing his writing, he died at the age of 63. Historians typically rank Grant in the lowest quartile for his tolerance, but in recent years his reputation has improved among some scholars impressed by his support for rights for African Americans.

Reviews

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Grant crush continues unabated. No apologies.

[Ginny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m quite a fan of the remarkable U.S. Grant! I’ve read Chernow’s biography, which was excellent, followed by the even better Personal Memoirs written by Grant. Next up a Grant biography by White.

These are all sided letters, all to Julia. But, they are not every letter as is evident within the letters, and there are vast gaps. Either the letters weren’t preserved, Grant and Julia were together, or he wasn’t writing to her. Its a little frustrating to know we are missing something, something lost forever.

Also. the editor doesn’t give any real sort of context for things, which is unfortunate. For example Grant continues an unmemorialized discussion with Julia in which he mentions that Julia has asked if he will accept the house in Chicago. Unless you remember your Grant history well, this part of Grant’s letter is confusing. Not contained in the letter is that the war is ending. Grant is a national hero. And, cities everywhere were trying to lure Grant to settle there at war’s end. A few places were even offering entirely furnished homes to be owned by Grant for free.

The book is really the poorer for not providing the all important context of what was going own outside the letters but was front and center of what Grant was doing every day. Still, these letters are a must read for anyone who wants a finer grasp of this most remarkable man - a savior of our nation, standing second only to his commander in chief.

A note on the book itself. It is published by Library of America (you’ve likely seen those familiar black book jackets) which has a wonderful mission of ensuring the preservation and keeping in print our nation’s most significant written words. We need you! But, this book, while hardcover was published in "perfect binding" - a horrible binding method which is anything but perfect. I’ve now decided that I’m going to purchase only books with sewn bindings. Publishers seem to charge the same for hardcover regardless of sewn or glued, but there is no comparison in quality.

The Grant book was impossible to keep open and annoyingly uncomfortable to read because of its glued binding. With Library of America’s mission to be publishing books that are worthy of preservation, the glued binding misses the mark. As a contrast, the pages are high quality, thick in a little off-white, in. Very crisp readable font. Well done there.

We all should really be paying more attention to the quality of the binding in the books we read. For example, the new Michelle Obama book which retails for almost $30, is a cheap glued binding - it also skimped with mediocre quality pages. Same for the large newer Dalleck biography on FDR - also an expensive book. And being 900 pages, that glued binding might not even last one read.

A glued binding is nothing better than a cheap paperback with cardboard covers. It should cost a few cents more than a paperback. Publishers and writers are laughing all the way to the bank when we pay top dollar for a cheap glued binding and they charge us a price equal to that of a sewn binding. We need to demand better. (Rant over!) :)

[Steve Smits · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grant's biographers mention his devotion to his wife. The letters contained in this short volume affirm his affection by his constant expressions of longing and love in her absence. If ever a relationship was put to the test by long periods of separation this was one. Grant and Julia Dent were engaged for four years in the face of his distance through military postings in various places, including serving three years in Mexico during the Mexican War. Moreover, Julia's family was opposed to the union to the degree of boycotting the ceremony. Even after marriage, Grant and Julia were often separated during his postings in Oregon and other places, clearly a strain on both.

Grant's descriptions of action in Mexico and and his campaigns are frank and vivid and add to our understanding of his appraisal of the effects of war. He often named the casualties in his letters. He decried the mistreatment of Mexicans by rogue soldiers and expresses understanding of the hardships inflicted on Southern civilians in the wake of war. His Civil War letters show his confidence (without arrogance or boasting) in his leadership and a quiet sense that his armies would ultimately prevail.

I took particular note of several remarks in his letters to Julia about General Henry Halleck. Some time ago, I wrote a paper on Halleck (a native of our small village in upstate New York). The theme of the paper was to redeem Halleck's reputation from the harsh treatment he has received from most historians. In one section, I analyzed the criticisms of Halleck's interactions with Grant after his victory at Forts Henry and Donelson. I offered alternative mitigating views on Halleck's arrest of Grant after Donelson and whether, or to what extent, Halleck promoted the rumors of Grant's drinking. There are logical explanations that I think offset the criticism of many historians. Perhaps most telling in this regard are Grant's mentions of Halleck in his private letters to his wife. He clearly had great respect for Gen. Halleck. In his letter of February 24, 1862 Grant says that of the right conduct of the encounters at the forts, "Gen. Halleck is clearly the same way of thinking and with his clear head I think {a Congressional committee] will have nothing to enquire about." After the rumors in the press about Grant's drinking, he thinks this is just the product of jealousy of others, not Halleck. "This {the rumor} is very far from applying however, I think to our Chief, Halleck, who I look upon as one of the greatest men of the age." Surely, if Grant thought he was being slandered by his superior, he would have said so in a private letter to his wife.

Grant's final letter from Mt. McGregor in Wilton, NY to his wife when at the last stages of his disease is moving.

With so much in print about Grant, including his marvelous memoirs. can this brief volume of private letters this give us new insight into the man? Decidedly so.

[Mandyhello · Rating 5 out of 5]

that last letter is a killer :'(

[Sandybear76]

letters written Ulysses S. Grant to his financee'/wife over the years. He was writing to Julia while he served in the Mexican War and in the Civil War. Only letters from him to her. At first, he wrote to her asking her to still marry him when he came back, and later he wrote to her to give kisses to the kids, don't spend the money he sent in an earlier letter, and come/don't come to visit him during the Civil War with/without their kids.

[Alex Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

amazing primary source… It’s almost as if you are witnessing an evolution of a man. Necessary book for the study of U.S. Grant.

[Anthony Frasier · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was not what I expected. I enjoyed small parts of the book as it correlated with some of his memoir, however much of it is just housekeeping and not romantic or historical.

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Ron Chernow points out in his introduction, the 85 letters from Ulysses S. Grant to Julia before and after their marriage, though "spare in style, they candidly portray Grant's emotional state, showing his remarkable evolution from an insecure young soldier to a capable, self-confident general."

The letters to Julia are more interesting to learn about Grant's emotions than they are about historical events, of which Grant shares some news, but much less than he talks about how much he misses Julia and laments how slow her letters are to arrive and how few of them she seems to write, at least early in their relationship. For example, during his deployment in the Mexican-American War, Grant writes from Corpus Christi, Texas, in February 1846:

"I have just been delighted by a long and interesting letter from my Dear Julia and although I wrote to you but two or three days ago I answer this with my usual punctuality. You say you write me letter for letter well I am satisfied that my love is returned and you know how anxious one is to hear often from the one they love and it may appear to me that you do not write as often as you really do."

In the early letters, Grant seems unsure how formal or informal to address Julia. He alternately signs his letters "Ulysses S Grant," "Most Truly and Devotedly Your Lover, ULYSSES," "USG," "U," and once, from Point Isabel, Texas in 1846, "Your most devoted U.S. Grant, 4th Inf.y."

Later, the tone of Grant's letters is more confident, offering Julia detailed instructions on when and where to travel to meet him during various campaigns for example, but these letters still sound just as loving. Most letters during the war are signed with her nickname for him, "Ulys," though he signs one letter especially full of financial business "US Grant."

Due to opposition from Julia's father and the intervention of war with Mexico, the couple's engagement was lengthened to nearly five years, which the letters show that Ulysses found painful to endure.

While most of Grant's most famous quotes come from his Personal Memoirs, a few of his greatest hits can be found in the letters, especially, Grant writes from Mexico of one of his first experiences in battle: "There is no great sport in having bullets flying about one in every direction but I find they have less horror when among them than when in anticipation."

The final letter in the volume, written just before Grant's death from throat cancer in 1885, is especially poignant.

[Teri Reck · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful look into the mind of Ulysses S. Grant through the letters that he had written his fiancee and then wife, Julia. Such a noble man---humble and true, and so concerned about doing his duty in his offices for his country, and yet also to do right by his family and loved ones. There is a simple beauty in his concern for his beloved, and then also, for their growing family, that is interlaced with anecdotes of his wartime experiences. I wonder if those very concerns and considerations were the grounding that he needed to cope with the life and death decisions necessarily made by military leaders in wartime. Whatever the case, these letters are sometimes tender and sweet, sometimes more businesslike, but they make Grant seem more human than the mythic war hero that he has come to be. The most poignant of letters is the very last, which he writes for Julia while dying. He leaves it for her to read upon his death. Ever mindful of providing for his loved ones, while dying of throat cancer, he wrote his memoirs to reverse the state of the family fortunes and thus left Julia quite well off indeed. He died a mere days after their completion. I wonder if he willed himself to live to see that project complete so that he might die with the knowledge that he left he dearest Julia in a good way. Very worthy read.

[Angela Hursh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love old letters. And these are fascinating, but also repetitive. He says the same thing all the time as he's courting her, and she never seems to write him back. Did she really love him? You can see him mature over time in his letters to her after they are married, but again, they're very repetitive. Still, for historians, it's a good read.

[Jerome Lafayette · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice and very small book at 166 pages reproducing Ulysses S. Grant's many letters to his wife Julia. It is well known by this time that Grant, among his many other attributes, was also a compelling and eloquent writer. This trait is always on display in the reports and directives he issued as a General during the war, documents that were subsequently reproduced in the exhaustive War of the Rebellion series.

And of course, it goes without saying that Grant's ultimate memoirs, written as he neared death in the mid-1880s, comprise the greatest first-person military history most likely ever written.

All of his talents in putting down on paper his thoughts and emotions are much more touchingly revealed in these letters to the ever-supportive Julia. My only complaint about this particular collection is that letters written after the war, especially during Grant's frustrating service in the Johnson Administration, weren't also included.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, I am a sap but under the cover of a General.

This is a wonderful Library of America collection of more than 80 letters as the title describes. The letters from Julia have not survived. The early Grant longs for more letters from his beloved. During the first four years while they were engaged, they could only meet once. He frequently wanted approval from Julia's parents who were unconvinced about her marrying a soldier. The Grants were also concerned because Julia was a slave holder even at the start of the civil war and her father was sympathetic to the Southern cause.

Grant was solid and cool under battle but his passion is revealed in these letters even with the restraint toward his wife.

[Josh Lowder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phenomenal collection of President Grant's letters to his wife during his times as a soldier. You could feel the heartache and need for Julia in those first several years. It was funny how as time went on the letters became a bit less "sappy" and became more business. True still today, we can lose sight of how important our loved ones are and let life take the wheel. The final letter was heartbreaking.

4 stars because the letters jumped months ahead sometimes and not being an expert of Grant I was lost on what had occurred between the two. A short note as to notable events having taken place by Chernow would have been huge and landed this a 5 star no doubt. Regardless, great collection of letters I highly enjoyed.

[Pablo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a big admirer of Grant, so I appreciated this collection of letters that he wrote his beloved wife Julia while he was away serving with the army. On the whole, however, I didn't feel that they provide any great insight into the man, at least beyond what we already know (such as his devotion to Julia and his kids). But the letters are what they are, and we have to take them that way. The book suffers more from the fact that there are no letters from Julia, and from the failure of the editors to provide any context or background for many of the letters. Worth reading if you are a Grant fan or Civil War buff.

[Elise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a sweet book. Ulysses S Grant has an autobiography but it is important to see people not how they wish to portray themselves to the world but how they really are with people they are comfortable being around. I really liked to see what he had to say during the Mexican American war and the Civil War or at least the things he wanted his wife to know.

The majority of the letters show a man who was lonely, missed his family, but how focused he was to do his duty for this country. It also showed how inconsistent the mail was back then. It is unfortunate that Julia only saved Grant's letters and not her own to be published, that way we are only getting one half of the conversation.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently watched a documentary on the History Channel about Grant that had me so interested in the man that I wanted to learn more about his personality. This looked like a good place to start that would show some true colors.
What I (oddly? sadly?) found for one of America’s greatest generals was, in my opinion, a whiny toddler of a man who appeared so dependent on his Dearest Julia- for approval, for communication, anything to keep him going.
Now, with that said, I’ve never been in battle, away from my family for years on end so it could be some of that coming thru in his writing.
It just appeared very different from the man we read about and the man we see in these letters.
Also, please don’t take away that I’m still not awe struck by him. What he overcame to become General Grant was amazing and I still hold him in high regard.
The book was just less than my expectations.

[Marc Brueggemann · Rating 5 out of 5]

These letters written to Ulysses S. Grant's wife Julia Dent Grant show the humanity, love, and character of Ulysses S. Grant. At times, it shows his not only his progress during the Civil Wsr, but also on the focus of him being a good father to his children, family life, and what would the future entail. These letters shows his need for companionship to combat loneliness, his feeling of being forsaken, and even talking about the horrors of war, the injustice he saw in society, and how he fought during the Civil War. These letters show a huge depth of Grant as a human being, a general, a husband, and a father. This shows who American soldiers are, human beings.

[David Pulliam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short easy read, Grant writes in short sentences and uses simple words. At first I thought the number of details and odd worries were tedious but at about halfway I began to see his desire to show his love towards Julia through all these details. A sweet read.

Three themes stand out from the letters:
1. Money - paying off debts and making sure Julia has money
2. The kids - how are they? Why don’t they write more often, education questions, discipline issues
3. Kisses - almost each time he ends mentioning kisses to Julia
4. Move closer - near the end he talks a lot about her moving closer to him so he can see her more often.

[Tom Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolute gem of a book. Adds a great deal to realizing Grant's humanity.

The tenth book on my Grant shelf. Its value surprised me a tad.

This sentence cracked me up, "We have an old woman about fifty years old to cook for us" In Grant's defense, back in the 1840s anyone, man or woman, who had attained fifty years was old...bigly. Of course, life was much rougher for the women. I'll be 72 shortly. oi vey.

I really need to visit Galena.

[Adam Carman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth it for the historian and the Grant fan alike!

Started this as part of my Grant Deep Dive last year for his bicentennial. It is well known Grant and his wife had a deeply loving relationship and these letters written mostly during the Mexican War (1846-1848) and American Civil War (1861-1865) certainly show this. Grant's skill as a writer is on full display as well. While this is only one side of the conversation, it shows new depth to an American hero!

[Tiffany Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like in his memoirs, Grant writes plainly and succinctly. The second half covers his letters during the Civil War, which are particularly interesting since he was providing summaries of battles within days of the fighting. His simple, straightforward accounts are impressive given that he obviously lacked the luxury of hindsight that historians have. I only wish we could have seen some of Julia’s responses.

[Diane Sugars · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh! I struggled with this book. It’s a very short book, but it just did not grab my attention. I know that this book is solely letters written by General Grant to his wife Julia, but at times I felt as though I shouldn’t be reading them. I’m not alluding to anything vulgar, I just did not care to read what became many pages of rambling. Perhaps that is harsh, but this just wasn’t an enjoyable book.

[Mgb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating. Grant, in the army, was well-traveled in N. America before the Civil War. The part written during the war shows there are more ways to look at the war than just the outcomes of big battles. Ex. Early on, there were two armies in St. Louis…one made up of volunteers in support of the union, the other of ‘secessionests’.

[Saklani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting (if not always illuminating in choice) collection of Grant's letters to Julia, both before and after their marriage. The man did not expose a lot about history in his letters, but one always knows how much he loved Julia. That is apparent from the beginning. Definitely worth a read. The last letter is definitely poignant.

[Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

This slim volume belongs on the shelf right next to Grant's Memoirs. The compact size makes it an ideal book to read on the go. The letters selected reveal a man of great depth of character. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys Civil war historiana.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by Grant’s letters to his wife when I heard about this book in a podcast. I was disappointed with how whiny he comes off in most of the letters — nagging almost nonstop for her to write to him more often, even trying to guilt her about it. Not super romantic :-/

[Mike Panton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy, entertaining read. One of my favorite ways to learn about history is by reading things from that time period.

This books gives a unique look into Grant's life, but also the time period and the wars.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve heard so much about Ulysses S. Grant as a soldier. This shows another side his love for his wife & children. I think history buffs would enjoy this gem. I’m not looking for another book as he is a fascinating person.

[Jill Marcotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed watching Grant's development throughout his career through his letters to his dear Julia, while his love and affection for his family stayed the same throughout the years. It was both sweet and historically interesting to read.

[Aurora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a sucker for primary source materials and this was extremely fascinating to read. What a lovely insight into not only a relationship of a bygone era but of major political and societal happenings. Loved it! Will absolutely read it again.