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10 Choices Successful Couples Make: The Secret to Love That Lasts a Lifetime
Most books on marriage rightly address communication and conflict as key issues, then advise readers on how to fight fair since conflict is an inevitable reality and cannot be avoided. But Dr. Ron Welch asks the provocative question, Is it? Is every marriage doomed to one conflict after another? Shouldn't we expect better than that?
In this practical and encouraging book, Welch offers a far more positive approach to marriage, outlining 10 specific choices couples can make to minimize or even avoid conflict and increase joy. With his expert guidance, couples will learn how to employ proven strategies to
- communicate accurately and positively
- choose forgiveness over unforgiveness
- understand their marriage type
- and make decisions more effectively
Whether they are engaged, newly married, or have been married for decades, couples will find that this book will transform their relationship.
In this practical and encouraging book, Welch offers a far more positive approach to marriage, outlining 10 specific choices couples can make to minimize or even avoid conflict and increase joy. With his expert guidance, couples will learn how to employ proven strategies to
- communicate accurately and positively
- choose forgiveness over unforgiveness
- understand their marriage type
- and make decisions more effectively
Whether they are engaged, newly married, or have been married for decades, couples will find that this book will transform their relationship.
240 pages, Paperback
Published January 22, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
September 30, 2019
3.5
Now, I’m not married… or engaged… or dating… but I still like to pick up a relationship book every once in a while for studying purposes. 10 Choices Successful Couples Make from Dr. Ron Welch happens to be my most recent choice.
Love requires a choice; it is not just a feeling. So, to help build and maintain a healthy, long-lasting romantic relationship, Welch outlines ten crucial choices. With numerous noteworthy points, he explains these choices and gives exercises to encourage application and reflection.
10 Choices Successful Couples Make is a solid relationship book. While there were several instances I wished the content to be better organized, I still found plenty of insight to take away from my reading.
This review is also posted on Hallie Reads.
I received a complimentary copy of this book and the opportunity to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions I have expressed are my own.
Now, I’m not married… or engaged… or dating… but I still like to pick up a relationship book every once in a while for studying purposes. 10 Choices Successful Couples Make from Dr. Ron Welch happens to be my most recent choice.
Love requires a choice; it is not just a feeling. So, to help build and maintain a healthy, long-lasting romantic relationship, Welch outlines ten crucial choices. With numerous noteworthy points, he explains these choices and gives exercises to encourage application and reflection.
10 Choices Successful Couples Make is a solid relationship book. While there were several instances I wished the content to be better organized, I still found plenty of insight to take away from my reading.
This review is also posted on Hallie Reads.
I received a complimentary copy of this book and the opportunity to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions I have expressed are my own.
February 7, 2019
We applauded business professionals when they read “business-minded” books throughout the year. These reads are praised as boosting business acumen and relished as a sign of leadership. But, as I read this book I noticed the MANY stares from others, skeptical of my reading choices and likely questioning the strength of my own marriage, because it would seem, rarely do couples read marriage books and god forbid they do so in a public space.
Often partners do not seek counselling advice unless something “bad” has happened or their “spark” has diminished. However, I feel it is extremely important we break these stereotypes. Like business, it is good practice to “check-up” on your marriage, whether this occur through reading, counseling or scheduled couples time. As an avid reader, I enjoy reading diverse topics, including one such as this, and while I would classify my own marriage as happy and healthy, I still had a few great takeaways from this read I hope to incorporate with my own spouse.
One of my favorite topics was Welch’s chapter on communication. I found his ideas are not limited to marriage communication, but the examples within were understandably tied to couples. The idea of brevity in speech resonated with me. My personality type is well studied and prefers a “get to the point” type of presentation in the workplace, I like to stay on topic, am driven by deadlines and am very analytical. Obviously, this personality does not stop when I arrive home, and my husband is well known for his “long-windedness,” so this was a great reminder to the two of us in communication styles.
Unfortunately, at times this book was rather dull and was organized like an intense therapy session. It lacked stories and examples and required the reader/couple to really dig DEEP and analyze EVERY flaw. One really needs to know their self, and their spouse, to do many of the exercises, and while few chapters had some immediate takeaways, many required deep reflection. Additionally, the title was specific to 10 Choices, but the book had 15 chapters, this made it hard to really understand the 10 items I was supposed to grasp, and the organization certainly could have been paired down, (the arrows by some headers and not others was distracting and made sections seem “less important” than the arrowed sections). While I 100% believe that marriage books should become a routine part of every couple’s reading list, I would not necessarily recommend adding this one to this year’s list.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
Often partners do not seek counselling advice unless something “bad” has happened or their “spark” has diminished. However, I feel it is extremely important we break these stereotypes. Like business, it is good practice to “check-up” on your marriage, whether this occur through reading, counseling or scheduled couples time. As an avid reader, I enjoy reading diverse topics, including one such as this, and while I would classify my own marriage as happy and healthy, I still had a few great takeaways from this read I hope to incorporate with my own spouse.
One of my favorite topics was Welch’s chapter on communication. I found his ideas are not limited to marriage communication, but the examples within were understandably tied to couples. The idea of brevity in speech resonated with me. My personality type is well studied and prefers a “get to the point” type of presentation in the workplace, I like to stay on topic, am driven by deadlines and am very analytical. Obviously, this personality does not stop when I arrive home, and my husband is well known for his “long-windedness,” so this was a great reminder to the two of us in communication styles.
Unfortunately, at times this book was rather dull and was organized like an intense therapy session. It lacked stories and examples and required the reader/couple to really dig DEEP and analyze EVERY flaw. One really needs to know their self, and their spouse, to do many of the exercises, and while few chapters had some immediate takeaways, many required deep reflection. Additionally, the title was specific to 10 Choices, but the book had 15 chapters, this made it hard to really understand the 10 items I was supposed to grasp, and the organization certainly could have been paired down, (the arrows by some headers and not others was distracting and made sections seem “less important” than the arrowed sections). While I 100% believe that marriage books should become a routine part of every couple’s reading list, I would not necessarily recommend adding this one to this year’s list.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
February 11, 2019
Marriage is about choices. So many of us go through life thinking we don’t any control over key things such as our marriages. We believe that things are the way they are and there’s nothing we can do to change it. In 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, Dr. Welch reminds us that marriage is a choice and points out a number of decisions we make in our marriage every day.
He also reminded us that because we have a choice we can transform our marriages into the healthy successful model we desire. Each principle has a related exercise aimed at getting you and your partner to recognize and master one of the ten choices.
Know God: though not expressly stated, Dr. Welch’s ten choices are based on biblical principles. For example, couples are encouraged to esteem their partner above themselves (Philippians 2:3) and not to lie or speak unkindly to each (Ephesians 4:29).
Know yourself: Dr. Welch invites couples to examine their past—current and previous relationships, as well as, family history—to understand why they make certain choices. But he doesn’t stop there. He gives them the tools to move forward and make better choices.
Run your race: 10 Choices Successful Couples includes many stories of various couples, this allows the reader to view the principles in action. This inspired me because it showed dynamic people with the ability to make choices to improve their marriages. If they can make better choices, so can I.
I received an advance reader copy as part of the Revell Reads book blogger program.
He also reminded us that because we have a choice we can transform our marriages into the healthy successful model we desire. Each principle has a related exercise aimed at getting you and your partner to recognize and master one of the ten choices.
Know God: though not expressly stated, Dr. Welch’s ten choices are based on biblical principles. For example, couples are encouraged to esteem their partner above themselves (Philippians 2:3) and not to lie or speak unkindly to each (Ephesians 4:29).
Know yourself: Dr. Welch invites couples to examine their past—current and previous relationships, as well as, family history—to understand why they make certain choices. But he doesn’t stop there. He gives them the tools to move forward and make better choices.
Run your race: 10 Choices Successful Couples includes many stories of various couples, this allows the reader to view the principles in action. This inspired me because it showed dynamic people with the ability to make choices to improve their marriages. If they can make better choices, so can I.
I received an advance reader copy as part of the Revell Reads book blogger program.
January 16, 2019
This is a book where the author is describing different ways to make a marriage work, especially ones that are already on the rocks and the couple can't figure out how to fix it. Provided they are wanting it fixed.
The first chapter is about choices and to be married, is a choice. He doesn't believe that you "fall in love", rather you have chosen to love this man or woman whom you are with. We are surrounded by choices and love is one of the many that are offered up to us.
Each of the choices are discussed, but some of the choices have an additional chapter to fully explain the concept and reason for the choice. The first is "I Choose to Believe". My husband and I don't fight, so while I chose the book a lot of the chapters don't really apply to me. There are portions that I pick here and there, but in this chapter one sentence really popped out at me. My marriage is fine and there aren't really any issues, but the author asks "Do you want to settle for a less-than amazing marriage? You are not completely dissatisfied, but you also aren't motivated to actively work to make you marriage the best it can be." That jumped out at me because I have become lazy in the marriage and haven't prompted myself to step outside of the comfort of marriage. In turn, it makes me want to do more and be more active in our marriage. Do the things we talk about and stop coming home to get on the computer or watch TV. That enlightened me.
Each chapter has call out sections on things that you should be aware of, such as when you are arguing. It forces you to become accountable in how you are in the relationship. There are also exercises to work out with or without your partner.
The author did a pretty good job in portraying and bringing the message across for couples. His examples of couples in his practice also helped to make it seem more real. Bring it down to earth.
I enjoyed this book and look forward to passing it to a friend whom I know is having some issues with her relationship.
The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
The first chapter is about choices and to be married, is a choice. He doesn't believe that you "fall in love", rather you have chosen to love this man or woman whom you are with. We are surrounded by choices and love is one of the many that are offered up to us.
Each of the choices are discussed, but some of the choices have an additional chapter to fully explain the concept and reason for the choice. The first is "I Choose to Believe". My husband and I don't fight, so while I chose the book a lot of the chapters don't really apply to me. There are portions that I pick here and there, but in this chapter one sentence really popped out at me. My marriage is fine and there aren't really any issues, but the author asks "Do you want to settle for a less-than amazing marriage? You are not completely dissatisfied, but you also aren't motivated to actively work to make you marriage the best it can be." That jumped out at me because I have become lazy in the marriage and haven't prompted myself to step outside of the comfort of marriage. In turn, it makes me want to do more and be more active in our marriage. Do the things we talk about and stop coming home to get on the computer or watch TV. That enlightened me.
Each chapter has call out sections on things that you should be aware of, such as when you are arguing. It forces you to become accountable in how you are in the relationship. There are also exercises to work out with or without your partner.
The author did a pretty good job in portraying and bringing the message across for couples. His examples of couples in his practice also helped to make it seem more real. Bring it down to earth.
I enjoyed this book and look forward to passing it to a friend whom I know is having some issues with her relationship.
The publisher has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
January 23, 2019
YES!!!
I am a fan of this book and it's message. The overall theme is about how love is a choice, not a feeling. That is something that is not commonly taught in our culture, even in Christian circles unfortunately, though I do think that is starting to change.
I'm not married... or engaged... or even dating anyone. But I think anyone can read this book and start formulating what it looks like to lay down your desires for someone else.
Dr. Welch presents clear "challenges" in each chapter of tangible choices you can make to improve your marriage. If you were an engaged couple or newly married, these would be choices you would want to implement from the beginning to help you start off and create a strong foundation for your marriage. I personally think this would be a great book for engaged couples.
Each chapter has activities for the couple to do and work through. I read them, though I didn't do them (obviously :) and they seemed like they stretched and challenged without being impossible.
Another huge theme that encompasses many of the choices is communication. My family has a saying (that I'm sure is not unique to us), "communication is such an important thing". Usually it gets brought out when someone has not communicated to another person as a joke or shrug off. I have seen enough of the problems that result when there is bad or no communication to know that this is an important aspect of marriage. If a couple can communicate, they can work through the activities in this book.
An excellent, excellent book. Highly recommend.
I am a fan of this book and it's message. The overall theme is about how love is a choice, not a feeling. That is something that is not commonly taught in our culture, even in Christian circles unfortunately, though I do think that is starting to change.
I'm not married... or engaged... or even dating anyone. But I think anyone can read this book and start formulating what it looks like to lay down your desires for someone else.
Dr. Welch presents clear "challenges" in each chapter of tangible choices you can make to improve your marriage. If you were an engaged couple or newly married, these would be choices you would want to implement from the beginning to help you start off and create a strong foundation for your marriage. I personally think this would be a great book for engaged couples.
Each chapter has activities for the couple to do and work through. I read them, though I didn't do them (obviously :) and they seemed like they stretched and challenged without being impossible.
Another huge theme that encompasses many of the choices is communication. My family has a saying (that I'm sure is not unique to us), "communication is such an important thing". Usually it gets brought out when someone has not communicated to another person as a joke or shrug off. I have seen enough of the problems that result when there is bad or no communication to know that this is an important aspect of marriage. If a couple can communicate, they can work through the activities in this book.
An excellent, excellent book. Highly recommend.
January 19, 2019
One of the best things about this book from Dr. Ron Welch is that he starts with the premise that EVERY relationship has conflict. I think that is so important for people to hear in today’s world. I’ve heard of far too many people who walk away from a relationship they’ve invested in because, ‘it just shouldn’t be this hard.’ And as someone who has been with the love of my life for over 35 years, I can say with authority [ha] that love is hard. But, oh so worth it. In 10 Choices Successful Couples make, Dr. Ron Welch shares that it’s how we react to the conflict that can shape and mold us and [yes] change us as we grow in relationship with others. While everything in this book is good and helps us build better relationships, I think the thought that stuck with me is the difference between a ‘me’ centered marriage and an ‘us’ centered marriage. This is a concept that I learned many [many] years ago in a relationship class during my freshman year of college. If we concentrate on giving instead of getting our relationships will grow. That can be hard in this world we live in that continuously says our happiness is dependent on everything being about me and how smart / brave / strong / etc. I am. Fortunately, Dr. Welch shares thoughts and strategies [and exercises to do together!] to build a successful relationship together.
February 16, 2019
“The tragedy is that many couples don’t pay attention to their marriage until it is broken.”
This quote is taken from Dr. Ron Welch in his book 10 Choices Successful Couples Make. This book is a comprehensive look at decisions spouses can make to build a strong, lasting marriage. The ideas are basic and fundamental to a healthy thriving marriage. Each chapter contains exercises that a couple can work through together to practice what they have just read. Dr. Welch is very easy to understand, and he is very practical in his approach.
If I had one criticism, it is the lack of Bible in this book. He does state from the beginning that this book is written so that believers and non-believers could gain from it. It is true he has helpful truths, most of them based on Bible themes. However, I believe the foundation of a healthy marriage is prayer and Bible. God designed marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church.
If you read the book with the understanding that God is the ultimate source for strength and unity in your marriage, I believe this book contains many helpful truths and foundational truths to a healthy, thriving marriage. His final sentence sums it up: “Make the decision to write a new chapter in the great story of your lives and choose to love each other forever.”
marr
This quote is taken from Dr. Ron Welch in his book 10 Choices Successful Couples Make. This book is a comprehensive look at decisions spouses can make to build a strong, lasting marriage. The ideas are basic and fundamental to a healthy thriving marriage. Each chapter contains exercises that a couple can work through together to practice what they have just read. Dr. Welch is very easy to understand, and he is very practical in his approach.
If I had one criticism, it is the lack of Bible in this book. He does state from the beginning that this book is written so that believers and non-believers could gain from it. It is true he has helpful truths, most of them based on Bible themes. However, I believe the foundation of a healthy marriage is prayer and Bible. God designed marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church.
If you read the book with the understanding that God is the ultimate source for strength and unity in your marriage, I believe this book contains many helpful truths and foundational truths to a healthy, thriving marriage. His final sentence sums it up: “Make the decision to write a new chapter in the great story of your lives and choose to love each other forever.”
marr
July 11, 2019
(4 stars) - Love is a decision... and marriage is an ongoing series of decisions
This book is a great tool for couples seeking to improve or strengthen their relationship - just understand that it's more for a tune up than a collision repair service.
Conflict is a natural part of life, but we can decide how we're going to respond to it. These are the choices that we make that affect our relationships. To: Believe, Communicate well (accurately & positively), Let go of old baggage, Forgive (forgiveness over unforgiveness & forgive the big stuff), Be unselfish (choosing unselfishness over selfishness & choosing the "Us" model of marriage), Challenge "unspoken truths", Be intimate, Not to take you for granted, Focus on the process, Trust
These are decisions that lead to forever love.
Each chapter explains the nature of the choice, providing quick examples or anecdotes, and then provides exercises for a couple to work on.
If I could change one thing, it would be to go ahead & include something like segregated sections in each chapter for Christians. It wouldn't be a hardship for non-believers to flip past a page & move on to the next section.
This book is a great tool for couples seeking to improve or strengthen their relationship - just understand that it's more for a tune up than a collision repair service.
Conflict is a natural part of life, but we can decide how we're going to respond to it. These are the choices that we make that affect our relationships. To: Believe, Communicate well (accurately & positively), Let go of old baggage, Forgive (forgiveness over unforgiveness & forgive the big stuff), Be unselfish (choosing unselfishness over selfishness & choosing the "Us" model of marriage), Challenge "unspoken truths", Be intimate, Not to take you for granted, Focus on the process, Trust
These are decisions that lead to forever love.
Each chapter explains the nature of the choice, providing quick examples or anecdotes, and then provides exercises for a couple to work on.
If I could change one thing, it would be to go ahead & include something like segregated sections in each chapter for Christians. It wouldn't be a hardship for non-believers to flip past a page & move on to the next section.
February 12, 2019
10 Choices Successful Couples Make is a book of practical advice and revelations to assure fulfilling relationships. Although I’m in a happy marriage of over thirty years, I still found the book interesting and insightful.
What it boils down to is we all make choices, and those choices ultimately affect us positively or negatively. There are conflicts and pitfalls in life and love, but the choices we make—how we react to and manage them—are what determine the success or breakdown of a relationship.
I enjoyed the few activities in this book, and wish there had been more. And though the book contains valuable information and 10 clear choices, I feel they could have been more concise, interactive, and better organized—perhaps each chapter representing a choice, rather than splitting some into two (lengthy) chapters.
⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Author: Ron Welch
Publisher: Revell
Pages: 240
Opening Line: They were like so many couples I see in premarital therapy.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. Opinions expressed are completely my own.
What it boils down to is we all make choices, and those choices ultimately affect us positively or negatively. There are conflicts and pitfalls in life and love, but the choices we make—how we react to and manage them—are what determine the success or breakdown of a relationship.
I enjoyed the few activities in this book, and wish there had been more. And though the book contains valuable information and 10 clear choices, I feel they could have been more concise, interactive, and better organized—perhaps each chapter representing a choice, rather than splitting some into two (lengthy) chapters.
⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Author: Ron Welch
Publisher: Revell
Pages: 240
Opening Line: They were like so many couples I see in premarital therapy.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. Opinions expressed are completely my own.
January 30, 2019
10 Choices Successful Couples Make By Dr. Ron Welch
This is a wonderful book to help any married couple, no matter how many years you have been married. Right off the bat, he reminds us that love is a choice that we have to make. Choosing to love the person for better or worse is an intentional everyday thing even when faced with tough choices. I love how he reminds us that if we make better choices relationships get better and we become happier people. I think he has amazing insight in such on how to communicate with each other. The way he explained the 10 rules for positive communication was honestly eye-opening for me. Even if you and your significate other don't fight, this book is a really good resource to read to help better understand each other. I love how he reminds us of choice through the book but the best part was reminding us that loving one another is a choice that we will make daily. I received this book from the publishers.
This is a wonderful book to help any married couple, no matter how many years you have been married. Right off the bat, he reminds us that love is a choice that we have to make. Choosing to love the person for better or worse is an intentional everyday thing even when faced with tough choices. I love how he reminds us that if we make better choices relationships get better and we become happier people. I think he has amazing insight in such on how to communicate with each other. The way he explained the 10 rules for positive communication was honestly eye-opening for me. Even if you and your significate other don't fight, this book is a really good resource to read to help better understand each other. I love how he reminds us of choice through the book but the best part was reminding us that loving one another is a choice that we will make daily. I received this book from the publishers.
May 2, 2019
Thanks to GR for a free copy of this book. I love the overall message behind this book that love is a choice. All our actions are choices but, sometimes it's good to get a kick in the butt(like this book) as a reminder. However, I wasn't prepared for for the exercises it provided as most of them are for couples. I read this book on my own and felt it would be most beneficial if read as a couple. It still had plenty of useful information that one spouse could choose to implement and it would still make a great impact on the marriage.
February 8, 2020
For the retail cost of $14.99, you can obtain marriage counseling in a book. That is essentially what this book is. The content is very solid, and each chapter has very intentional, detailed exercises to do together. I think it’s an excellent book for couples who really want to invest time and intentionality into improving their marriages. Will definitely help couples who are struggling, but, again, there has to be a willingness to invest time and effort if you want to maximize the experience.
I won this book through Goodreads First Reads.
I won this book through Goodreads First Reads.
October 20, 2020
My husband and I are engineers. We studied a lot about preventive manteinance in factories, there is another kind of maintenance and it is corrective. Relationships require maintenance and it is hard, it is going to cost, time, effort, money, it will require intentionality. This book talks about choices, it talks about belief, communication, let go of old baggage, forgive, unselfishness, choosing us, taking challenges, and other important ones. Every couple may get benefited from this material if applied.
January 23, 2019
This book was very inspiring with also had a great writing and full with that also full of hope and love to practicing in their relationship, single, couple, newlyweds or long time marriage. It can be very used full to all the tools in this book get start with a fresh joy again. You may believe change is possible. If you are believe in hope that will come. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Revell Reads for this review.
May 20, 2019
This book looks at ways to make communication and disputes in ways that will build relationships rather than cause division. By letting go of our baggage we can focus on our significant other rather than bringing old psychological issues to our current relationship. By learning to be unselfish you can view marriage as “us” rather than as “me and the other person.” I liked the focus on treating the other person with respect and love, even when you are in a dispute.
January 29, 2019
10 Choices Successful Couples Make by Dr. Ron Welch is a book for married couples to read at any stage of marriage. Each chapter offered real life experiences and challenges for you to work through. He shared from his own marriage and from his experience working with other couples during counseling. I enjoy reading marriage books occasionally and seek ways to improve myself and my marriage after twelve years. This book had some points on communication that I hope to apply to my own marriage. Thank you to Revell for this review copy.
March 30, 2019
This book is NOT just for marriages that are currently experiencing conflict. It’s a must read for all marriages. Thought provoking, enlightening and truly a great source of wisdom. Practical and Honest. A must read for all marriages. Including newly weds.
***Received in a Goodreads Giveaway
***Received in a Goodreads Giveaway
March 5, 2019
Very useful. Practical.
January 7, 2019
Dr. Welch speaks from experience that has been tried into wisdom. He is honest, direct, and sugar coats nothing. He writes as people talk; he doesn't dumb down anything and uses research and his own professional experiences to move this book into the rare category it's in.
What a refreshing, engaging, challenging and worthwhile read! My friends...many who have good marriages, will also learn to have amazing marriages if they are able to take what I may call 'the Welch challenge'. He has so many exercises that will strip down a couple for the purpose of building one another up and moving them in the direction of marriage that Christ wants to give us. Really loved reading this book, it is perfect for those needing/wanting/hoping for an uncharacteristic marriage.
What a refreshing, engaging, challenging and worthwhile read! My friends...many who have good marriages, will also learn to have amazing marriages if they are able to take what I may call 'the Welch challenge'. He has so many exercises that will strip down a couple for the purpose of building one another up and moving them in the direction of marriage that Christ wants to give us. Really loved reading this book, it is perfect for those needing/wanting/hoping for an uncharacteristic marriage.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews