Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage

by Scott Kedersha

The wedding day is just one day in the life of a couple. But God's design is for marriage to last a lifetime. So how can someone know that the person they're with is the one they can truly build a life with--especially when so few marriages around them work?

Pastor Scott Kedersha has worked with more than 5,000 premarital couples to prepare them for the biggest decision of their lives. In Ready or Knot? he offers practical and Christ-centered guidance for couples for all of the days after the wedding day. Through authentic stories from real couples about the decisions they made (or wish they'd made), Scott asks the hard questions so his readers can break free from the watered-down Hollywood version of marriage and build their lives together on the right foundation--the unchanging Word of God.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Relationships, Nonfiction, Faith, Family, Christian Living

240 pages, Paperback

Published February 5, 2019

Reviews

[Quirkyreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great bookend to “Marriage God’s Way” by Scott LaPierre.

The author of “Ready or Not” approaches the topic of pre marriage. So it has a different direction. Many of the same issues are addressed, but with “Ready” it asks questions that you should consider with your future spouse before even moving onto engagement and vows.

It is also a great resource for single people. It shows you things you should look for and questions to ask before seriously contemplating courting someone.

Relationships are difficult, but these Faith based books can help you navigate the choppy rapids.

[Laura Weigler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott has been a Marriage Pastor for years, walking through Marriage Preparation and Marriage Counseling with thousands of couples. He has seen the good, bad and the ugly, and the downright funny, walking with couples that are excited to tie the knot, and unfortunately helping couples that figure out that they really shouldn't get married after going through counseling.
In addition to working with Marriage throughout his career, he has walked the walk with his beautiful wife Kristen and their four boys. Scott doesn't hesitate to share his own struggles, making this book very readable and real.
If you are seriously dating or engaged, and are considering marriage, Pick Up This Book! You won't regret it. It will help you think through questions and dilemmas that every couple faces.
#ReadyorKnot

[Matt Cross · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are thinking about getting married this is a MUST READ!! Scott Kedersha has so many valuable years of working with seriously dating & engaged couples and has put the wisdom he has gleaned over the years into this book. I was able to read an excerpt from the book from the publisher, Baker Publishing's website. It reminded me of the thousands that are spent on the wedding day itself, but very little is spent on preparing the bride and groom for marriage itself. Buy the book for yourself or for a couple you know who is getting married.

[liz marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of the Ready or Knot from the publisher so I could give an honest review. Well, I could not recommend this book enough! My husband and I know the value that pre-marriage education, and we were blessed to go through an 8-week ministry that goes over all the information in Ready or Knot. It gave us such a good foundation, reminding us why we are married and what kind of struggles we may see in our future. We celebrated our one year of marriage in December of 2018 and hope to encourage many pre-married couples to read and learn from Scott Kedersha's book. It was a GREAT refresher for us in our continued marital growth. Go buy this book. It will be the best $11 you will ever spend!

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received the introduction and first chapter from Baker Books. This book is so important. I wish all couples would go through something like this before tying the knot. I really like that each chapter has the three sections at the end: Am I ready, strengthening our knot, and a prayer. The sections are meant for couples to individually answer questions, discuss those answers and answer other questions together and then pray. I read another premarital book last year but I like the simple readability and analogies in this book more than the previous one I read. I look forward to reading more of the book in the future.

[Justi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book would be such a great tool for engaged couples to discuss before getting married! There are so many applications to take from it and Scott Kedersha makes it easy with the way that the book is written! I have been married for 6 years and wish I would have had this when we were engaged! One of my favorite parts is the prayer time and question sections! So glad I found my go to book for my engaged friends now! I received this book as an advanced copy from the publisher so that I could see what it was like, and I am so thankful that I did!!

[Bwang · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is so much truth being shared in Marriage Books today. Still, there is one area I have noticed that has been lacking in the marriage book category, helping couples process before they tie the knot. That is why this book is such an important addition for couples pursuing engagement or pursuing their wedding day...and have they truly processed if they are ready or knot! Scott Kedersha takes couples through this process with 12 conversations that every couple needs to have before they get so focused on the color scheme and location of their wedding. Marriage is such a joy, but for many it can also be one of the loneliest and dissatisfying relationships they could have never imagined. That's why this book is such a game-changer, because it allows couples to have essential conversations and whether or not they should pursue to walk down the aisle. I see Ready or Knot going on the offensive and giving couples a great opportunity to process through whether they are ready for the next step and ready for to death to us part. I know this book is going to be a beautiful ministry to so many as couples will look back through the hard processing and be so thankful they had these conversations before they pursued engagement or said 'I do'. I'm also excited to hear the stories of couples that walked away from these conversations knowing that they need not to pursue marriage. Though that would be hard, it is much easier than an empty marriage or divorce! If your already married, know that you can glean so much wisdom for your marriage even though the conversations are directed to those that aren't married yet. Scott Kedersha

[Mark Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many couples spend more time planning their wedding than they do preparing for their marriage. They will spend thousands of dollars and countless hours picking the perfect dress, venue, flowers, and cake. If they want their marriage to last a lifetime, how can they prepare for a successful marriage before they tie the knot?

These are the convictions and concerns that lie behind Scott Kedersha’s book, Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage. From his experience as director of marriage ministry at Watermark Community Church, Scott has crafted a number of questions to get couples talking about twelve key issues of life and marriage.

In addition to the big 3—sex, finances, and in-laws—the author writes about communication and conflict resolution, roles and responsibilities, the role of faith, children, companionship, and being part of a community. Each chapter ends with “Am I ready?”—questions to answer personally; “Strengthening our knot”—questions to discuss as a couple; and “Closing prayer”—a prayer for growth in that area of the relationship.

The book is well written, funny, practical, and encouraging. It includes personal illustrations from the author’s life, interviews with other couples, and examples from history and current events. This would be a helpful tool for premarital counseling.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.

[Calan Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of the book from the publisher in order to be give an honest review. Here are my thoughts on what I read.
When it comes to marriage lots of people think preparing before hand isn’t important. So wrong! My wife and I know the value that pre-marriage education can be to marriage. Since it gave us such a good foundation we have sought to help other couples out too. We have guided many couples through preparations prior to their wedding for a successful marriage. We are always on the lookout for great resources to provide to these couples. This book right here is one of the best I’ve found. We will not only recommend it but most likely will give a copy to every couple we mentor.
It does a great job balancing easy to read language, great examples from real couples, biblical truth, practical lessons, and reflection questions. The questions are great to start conversation on topics that are not usually addressed without some prompting. I really enjoyed every bit of this book. My wife and I just entered into parenthood with our firstborn after 10 years of marriage. The parenting chapter at the end was especially helpful as we begin to discuss exactly how we want to raise our daughter and what we want her to value. In that chapter Betty from the example couple stated that they “would value character development and spiritual progress more than home runs, baskets and grades.” I loved reading that and knowing that my wife and I want to do exactly that.

[Bryan Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ready or Knot is a fantastic tool, not just a book. Each chapter address significant questions/topics that every couple needs to think about, pray about and discuss with their future spouse. Every one of these topics has come up in my marriage and I'm so grateful that a book like this helps couples deal with some of these issues on the front-side of marriage. To be able to discuss difficult topics like in-laws, finances, expectations, conflict patterns, communication, sex, spiritual intimacy, etc is such a gift for most couples and this book helps break each topic down with great discussion questions and next steps. Though Scott has been doing this type of work for over a decade he relies on Scripture to inform each section, not his own personal opinions. If any couple is considering marriage this is a great starting point.

[Tracy Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book to read! Even though it says "12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have Before Marriage" it is still good for those of us who have been married 35 Years! Each chapter has a couple that is interviewed and pertinent to the title but Scott shares so much scripture in these chapters along with a section called "Am I Ready" and "Strength Our Knot" to help you and your significant other to think through so much! Then at the end of each chapter a closing prayer! I would recommend this book for those looking towards engagement, those who are engaged and even for those who have been married...a great refresher! Enjoy this read!

[Misty Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ready or Knot is a great book and a must read for those seriously dating, engaged, married or wanting to get married some day. The author does a great job of helping the reader understand marriage and how to communicate in a relationship that is headed for marriage. Topics such as finances, marital sex, family relationships, friendship, dating your spouse, and emotional intimacy are all well defined and discussed. After reading this book, I was left feeling inspired to always work on my own marriage. This book is a wonderful resource and I can't wait to recommend it to those who are headed down the wedding aisle.

[Whitney Largent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! Scott Kedersha does an excellent job using scripture, real life couples stories and practicial tips that are all helpful to implement in a marriage. A MUST read for anyone who desires to be married, already engaged or even those already married. Great book to give as a gift!

[Bethany Phillip · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I’ve been waiting for! When I got married, my fiancé and I searched for a biblically based pre-marital book that would be founded on God’s truth but couldn’t find anything close. I’m so excited this resource is available now! The author, Scott Kedersha, did a great job making it practical and so useful for premarried and married couples. I I I will be recommending to friends and family! I received an advance copy of the book from the author in order to write an honest review about my opinion on reading Ready or Knot.

[Mady Charleston · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. It looks cheesy, but it was very practical and gave questions at the end of each chapter to talk about. I also enjoyed the reflection questions and prompted prayers! I’m challenged, yet hopeful at the end of this read!

[victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had very unique writing and compelling to read with also base on the relationship before or after married that can be used for guide line and teach them of how to tie the relationship with the knot of conflict resolution, communication, finances, friendship, extended family dynamics, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I receive complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Book Blogger for this review”.

[Cayleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, informative, helpful, thought-provoking read!

[Heather Stichter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris and I have been slowly working through this the past 6mo or so and just finished. Sparked SO many important conversations that helped us feel proactive in this season of dating while moving toward engagement. Would recommend!

[kelby · Rating 5 out of 5]

scott you scoundrel. i believe that every seriously dating or engaged christian couple can hugely benefit from this book, if approached with intentionality and vulnerability. the questions are actually good and my fiance and i spent probably twice as much time discussing as reading the book. we took turns reading it out loud to eachother, and i think that was a really good way to go about it 1) because we're funny as frick and also scott kept cracking us up and 2) because we stopped to talk about things really frequently, which i think is so valuable!!

anyways. this book is so good and fun and i reccomend.

[Sara Gorman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book all seriously dating/engaged/newly married couples should have if they're wondering what in the world they should be talking about to prepare for the next step in their relationship. Scott Kedersha, marriage pastor at a church in Texas, shares Biblical wisdom as well as stories from couples he's worked with to support each of the 12 questions he proposes couples should ask each other. In each chapter he has practical action steps/questions to ask yourself and each other as well as what kinds of conversations to be having together.

This book is written with a more conservative lens, so if you don't agree with the church's position on marriage and relationships, then this may not be the book for you.

I received an Advanced Reader's Copy from the publisher.

[Joe Marchant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott's book is the perfect quick read for any dating/engaged couple not sure of the questions that should be asked of each other before entering the ultimate covenant of marriage. I wish we had this book available to us as we got ready to take the next step. This book though is not only applicable to those not yet married but also incredibly insightful for anyone wanting to better and deepen their relationship with their spouse.

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for any dating or engaged couple! I received an advance copy of the book from the publisher in order to be able to give my honest review and I think all 12 of the conversations/topics discussed in this book are so crucial for couples to have before marriage. I loved the authenticity, transparency, and real life stories of other couples in this book who have struggled or had victories in their marriage. You can really tell that the author pours out all the wisdom he has learned from God over the years from being a marriage pastor, husband, and helping thousands of engaged couples prepare for marriage. I appreciated the practical steps and questions in each chapter that help you put action items to what you just read. And even though these are "12 conversations to have before marriage", my husband and I have been married for 2 years and everything in this book was still very applicable to us. After reading this book and walking through the questions together, we learned SO many new things about each other that we never would have thought to ask or discuss. We also got to go in depth over areas in our marriage that were healthy and areas we want to take ground on. I also appreciated how everything was backed up with scripture and gave us applicable verses or passages for what we learned. I'm very grateful for this resource, and I recommend it for any engaged or already married couple!!

[Carisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a quick and easy read, but it packs a HUGE punch! The truth and wisdom it holds is biblical, straightforward, and conveyed in a clear but impactful way. Scott’s writing is full of grace and humility - he writes from a real and personal place and doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out - so refreshing! There’s so much to think about as a couple tries to determine if they’re ready for marriage. This book boils it down to 12 conversations a couple should have before marriage. I loved that each chapter ends with personal questions and questions for a couple to answer and discuss together. Get this for family, friends, kids, grandkids – anyone who is seriously dating or engaged. It will be such a blessing and gift to them! It’s also great for any married couple who might need some reminders/encouragement in their marriages. As Gary Thomas says in the foreword, “Few experiences on earth match the beauty, wonder, and fulfillment of an intimately connected marriage.” This book will help get couples headed towards that connectedness from the very beginning, helping them experience marriage the way God designed it – as a lifelong, covenant relationship that brings us good, God glory, and reflects His amazing love for us. I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher so I could give an honest review.

[Claressa Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was blessed to be given an advance copy of this book from the publisher and it’s just a terrific, easy to read, thought provoking guide to marriage. There are great questions for couples to walk through as well as real life stories which help make each topic in this book more relatable. The author is even honest enough to tell you if there are “red” or “yellow” flags in your relationship which should cause you to stop or pause heading into marriage. While it’s designed for seriously dating or engaged couples to walk through, as a married person it has also been a great reminder of the important things in marriage. Thank you Scott Kedersha for sharing your wisdom in this book!!

[Lauren Spears · Rating 3 out of 5]

AH! I can finally post this because we’re engaged!!

Reading this book was a good way to start specific conversations with my fiancé. I didn’t love the writing style, but the book was easy to follow and conversational. At the end of each chapter the questions allowed us to have insightful conversations, and even when we didn’t enjoy the questions, we were still able to learn from the reading. Overall, I think this book is a good starting point for couples looking to start their premarital journey.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of the book from the publisher in order to be able to give my honest review. My honest review is I love this book! It is so important to go into marriage with your eyes wide open. This book asks all of the right questions. It brings up so many topics that most of us never think about but they affect marriage and your happiness in it. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we still got a lot out of reading this book. It has so many tools to use for being a better spouse and for understanding your spouse or fiance or significant other more. We were asking each other questions from the book and learning more about each other while on a road trip last weekend. This book is very easy to read and so helpful. I ordered several to give away.

[Hailey Wakefield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do yourself a huge favor and get this book now! I have read MANY Christian marriage books but this book stands out from all the others. It is not just a good read, but a TOOL! If you are dating, engaged, married, or want a great resource to encourage and counsel others, you need this book! It includes 12 conversations every couple needs to have before and after they say “I do”. Scott Kedersha doesn’t disappoint by applying Biblical principles to real and modern day relationships. I was so thankful to receive an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review because I didn’t have to wait to start learning and applying what I learned in my own marriage!

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advanced copy of Ready or Knot from the publisher so that I can give an honest review. This book is a must read for any seriously dating or engaged couple. The author clearly lays out topics that must be non-negotiable conversations before marriage. He gives clear examples and very practical tips for starting discussions. Although this book is meant for couples before marriage, I found it full of beneficial refreshers and reminders for my marriage now.

[Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compelling, informative, engaging, and so worth your time to read!!! Rich in wisdom, this book provides a roadmap for building a great foundation for a successful marriage. My husband of twenty-five years and I wish we had read a book like this at the beginning of our journey together. I received an advance copy of the book from the publisher in order to be able to give my honest review. Ready or Knot will be my go-to gift for all of my seriously dating and/or engaged friends (and the friends of my adult children)!

[Sami Grace Danley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! It helped facilitate important conversations, and it gave valuable wisdom. I feel like I learned a lot and grew more confidence/trust. It also was funny to know Mr. Kedersha personally & hear his voice shine through the words.