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Chainsaw
Randy Lee Travis and James Taylor Gunderson are white-trash outlaws. These men share a passion for old Burt Reynolds movies, and they share a dream.
If they can scrape the cash together, their dream just might come true.
A daring heist. A crazed farmer and his cult. The effects of a flashlight blow to the skull.
All of this, and more, set to the raspy howl of a... Chainsaw.
If they can scrape the cash together, their dream just might come true.
A daring heist. A crazed farmer and his cult. The effects of a flashlight blow to the skull.
All of this, and more, set to the raspy howl of a... Chainsaw.
93 pages, Paperback
Published June 4, 2018
6 people are currently reading
81 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
October 22, 2019
I expected blood, guts and gore. What I didn't expect was to laugh...
Jeff Foxworthy - please tell me you know who he is, I'm not THAT old! - used to do a set called:
"That's how you know you are a redneck."
His descriptions fit Randy Lee and JT like a glove - so maybe they were very stereotypical - but it set the scene perfectly for the humor that comes through.
The story is not THAT extreme, but i enjoyed it much more than I thought I would.
Having said that, though, it will not be for everybody, so if you give it a shot and it doesn't work for you, it won't change toward the end.
It is short, give it a shot if you feel like it.
Jeff Foxworthy - please tell me you know who he is, I'm not THAT old! - used to do a set called:
"That's how you know you are a redneck."
His descriptions fit Randy Lee and JT like a glove - so maybe they were very stereotypical - but it set the scene perfectly for the humor that comes through.
The story is not THAT extreme, but i enjoyed it much more than I thought I would.
Having said that, though, it will not be for everybody, so if you give it a shot and it doesn't work for you, it won't change toward the end.
It is short, give it a shot if you feel like it.
October 4, 2018
Can two half-wits rob a bank with a chainsaw and a flashlight? Can a bank teller survive a chainsaw attack? Only if a mean-assed farmer can lead an attack of migrant workers into bloody battle. Rev your engine and strap on some Kevlar. There's plenty of action in Gray's Hollow tonight.
August 18, 2025
I searched “chainsaw” (being my favourite murder weapon) and stumbled upon this delightful slasher horror story.
What struck me as being so different from others of this genre was how deliberately stupid and funny it was. I tend to get disappointed in horror stories/movies, being fixated on realistic behaviour. And this one tore it apart. The characters were not smart people. They wanted something they couldn’t afford and needed it by a certain time…so they decided to rob a bank…with a chainsaw! Obviously, so many things go wrong, having not been thought through, and it’s hilarious. Quite a few characters died with a smile on their face: they thought they showed them…then pow.
The second half had a change in direction, which I won’t spoil. But included more idiotic people. And ones who pronounced words wrong, like “unfortunacy” and were obsessive over crass language, especially bestial insults. Some favourite quotes in general were:
“People were having supper, or watching Judge Judy, or even whacking off--possibly to Judge Judy.”
“My, this was fun! He had made that asshole a new asshole, in his face!”
And there were so many more.
4.5 stars. Can’t find anything wrong with it, but can’t put it in the revered 5 star category either.
What struck me as being so different from others of this genre was how deliberately stupid and funny it was. I tend to get disappointed in horror stories/movies, being fixated on realistic behaviour. And this one tore it apart. The characters were not smart people. They wanted something they couldn’t afford and needed it by a certain time…so they decided to rob a bank…with a chainsaw! Obviously, so many things go wrong, having not been thought through, and it’s hilarious. Quite a few characters died with a smile on their face: they thought they showed them…then pow.
The second half had a change in direction, which I won’t spoil. But included more idiotic people. And ones who pronounced words wrong, like “unfortunacy” and were obsessive over crass language, especially bestial insults. Some favourite quotes in general were:
“People were having supper, or watching Judge Judy, or even whacking off--possibly to Judge Judy.”
“My, this was fun! He had made that asshole a new asshole, in his face!”
And there were so many more.
4.5 stars. Can’t find anything wrong with it, but can’t put it in the revered 5 star category either.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 10, 2018
4 to 4.5 stars. This is a Keystone Light drinkin', Def Leppard listenin', Wrestlemania '83 watching', Chainsaw bank robbin' helluva good time!! I laughed my ass off the whole way through. Now I'm gonna go watch one a them Jason Krueger movies or the one with that Conan the Barber fella, and wait for muh next John Bender read. I hope it comes quick-like.
February 8, 2019
Have you ever wondered to yourself, "What if those lowlife dudes that every small rural town seems to have decided to rob a bank with a chainsaw so they could buy the Smokey and The Bandit car?" John Bender has, and it's the most fun you can have with chainsaw wielding trailer trash, a demented cult leading farmer, and a bank teller that takes his job * very* seriously.
Randy Lee and J.T. are *those* guys. They don't have jobs, but they always have a case of beer, they have a truck that's just one pothole away from falling apart, but no gas money, and they are our heroes. One fateful day they see an ad for a 77 Pontiac Trans Am for sale, just like The Bandit's!! And a grand scheme is set in motion. They steal a local farmer's brand new chainsaw, and with it and a heavy duty flashlight, and head to the local bank to make a withdrawal.
This story is fast, furious, and fucking funny. The characters are strange and bizarre, yet as someone from small town Wyoming, I can't help but feel like I have actually met these people before (the movie Gummo have me a similarly uncomfortable feeling of familiarity) and I couldn't help but find myself rooting for the guys I'd cross the street to avoid in real life. Part of what makes the story so outrageously fun is how much it feels like Bender just had to have had a blast writing this. If there's an opportunity for a joke it was taken, if there's violence it's ridiculous (without stretching your disbelief too thin). This is a story that adamantly does NOT want to be highbrow in the slightest, and does it in the funnest, goriest way possible.
You want a read that's pure enjoyment through and through? CHAINSAW. by John Bender is your ticket, and only the beginning of what I hope becomes an epic saga of redneck debauchery.
Randy Lee and J.T. are *those* guys. They don't have jobs, but they always have a case of beer, they have a truck that's just one pothole away from falling apart, but no gas money, and they are our heroes. One fateful day they see an ad for a 77 Pontiac Trans Am for sale, just like The Bandit's!! And a grand scheme is set in motion. They steal a local farmer's brand new chainsaw, and with it and a heavy duty flashlight, and head to the local bank to make a withdrawal.
This story is fast, furious, and fucking funny. The characters are strange and bizarre, yet as someone from small town Wyoming, I can't help but feel like I have actually met these people before (the movie Gummo have me a similarly uncomfortable feeling of familiarity) and I couldn't help but find myself rooting for the guys I'd cross the street to avoid in real life. Part of what makes the story so outrageously fun is how much it feels like Bender just had to have had a blast writing this. If there's an opportunity for a joke it was taken, if there's violence it's ridiculous (without stretching your disbelief too thin). This is a story that adamantly does NOT want to be highbrow in the slightest, and does it in the funnest, goriest way possible.
You want a read that's pure enjoyment through and through? CHAINSAW. by John Bender is your ticket, and only the beginning of what I hope becomes an epic saga of redneck debauchery.
August 7, 2018
If Sunnyvale Trailer Park mated with Hazard County and the progeny was born inside the BetterCallSaulBreakingBad-iverse, it might look a lot like Grey’s Hollow - the whacked out podunk hamlet this entertaining novella takes place in. Bender is a talented writer and his crisp, darkly comedic prose and uniquely hyperreal tone augment a brisk/fun crime-gone-crazy story littered with memorable characters and pulpy ultraviolence galore. Definitely worth checking out!
December 13, 2018
What happens when you throw some splatterpunk horror into a blender with some truly awful (and awfully funny) humor? Well, chances are you'd get something a lot like CHAINSAW. Two idiots with maybe a brain between them decide to hold up their local bank, with, you guessed it a chainsaw. But the local farmer they stole the chainsaw from has other ideas, and well, the bank teller is awfully devoted to his job.
All in all, it is a quick dirty read, but sometimes that's just what you need.
All in all, it is a quick dirty read, but sometimes that's just what you need.
August 16, 2018
Chainsaw is short, fun blast of violence and gore that never takes itself too seriously. The action is fast-paced with no time for character self-reflection or world building, because that would just get in the way. It’s in your face and it’s nasty. And that there is two things I love, y’all!
Randy Lee and JT are a couple of lowlife redneck criminals. Well, criminal is a little generous to be honest. I think they’d like to be criminals, but they’re just a bit too stupid and hick-y to make it a successful career.
When Randy Lee steals a chainsaw from the local pyschopath Farmer Benton, he informs his plucky sidekick, JT, that they are going to rob the local bank with it. With their takings they plan to buy a car. It’s a great and flawless plan, if you’re a dumb redneck. But as an audience, we aren’t quite so dumb, so watching their ‘plan’ unfold is quite simply hilarious.
You shouldn’t be cheering these guys on, but their utter stupidity makes you really root for them. They live in a tiny town(?) with only one street and just a couple of hundred residents who probably all know each other, and they expect to get away with armed robbery. How would they ever even dream of managing that? Well, they give it a bloody good go.
Farmer Benton, using his fine-tuned detective skills, manages to work out our two heroes are the ones responsible for his chainsaw-napping. He wastes no time in calling upon his workforce of illegal immigrants to teach Randy Lee and JT a lesson. And it’s going to be a bloody one.
Carnage ensues, obviously. While robbing said bank, Randy Lee and JT don’t even bother to use false names when addressing each other (classic) and some of their almost retarded conversations are comedy gold. It’s not a spoiler to say they succeed in the robbery (kind of), but that’s only the start of the blood flow. When the hillbillies meet for an epic showdown with psycho Benton, there’s only going to be one outcome. And that’s death.
For a bumbled heist story with lashings of violence, gore, and explosions, you can’t go far wrong with this one. It’s laugh-a-minute-tastic. The pacing is great which never makes the story stagnate. I blitzed this book in only a couple of sittings, and chuckled for a fair amount of that time.
Think Tucker and Dale vs Evil, but from the mindset of the college kids, and you’ll get the idea of this book. Just buy it!
Randy Lee and JT are a couple of lowlife redneck criminals. Well, criminal is a little generous to be honest. I think they’d like to be criminals, but they’re just a bit too stupid and hick-y to make it a successful career.
When Randy Lee steals a chainsaw from the local pyschopath Farmer Benton, he informs his plucky sidekick, JT, that they are going to rob the local bank with it. With their takings they plan to buy a car. It’s a great and flawless plan, if you’re a dumb redneck. But as an audience, we aren’t quite so dumb, so watching their ‘plan’ unfold is quite simply hilarious.
You shouldn’t be cheering these guys on, but their utter stupidity makes you really root for them. They live in a tiny town(?) with only one street and just a couple of hundred residents who probably all know each other, and they expect to get away with armed robbery. How would they ever even dream of managing that? Well, they give it a bloody good go.
Farmer Benton, using his fine-tuned detective skills, manages to work out our two heroes are the ones responsible for his chainsaw-napping. He wastes no time in calling upon his workforce of illegal immigrants to teach Randy Lee and JT a lesson. And it’s going to be a bloody one.
Carnage ensues, obviously. While robbing said bank, Randy Lee and JT don’t even bother to use false names when addressing each other (classic) and some of their almost retarded conversations are comedy gold. It’s not a spoiler to say they succeed in the robbery (kind of), but that’s only the start of the blood flow. When the hillbillies meet for an epic showdown with psycho Benton, there’s only going to be one outcome. And that’s death.
For a bumbled heist story with lashings of violence, gore, and explosions, you can’t go far wrong with this one. It’s laugh-a-minute-tastic. The pacing is great which never makes the story stagnate. I blitzed this book in only a couple of sittings, and chuckled for a fair amount of that time.
Think Tucker and Dale vs Evil, but from the mindset of the college kids, and you’ll get the idea of this book. Just buy it!
August 4, 2018
Fun, violent, funny, gross, gritty, suspenseful. Wonderful train wreck of a short novel. Like 70s horror met a hillbilly heist and then ran it through a wonderful meat grinder.
Randy Lee and JT are Smokey and the Bandit obsessed grifters who plan a bank heist with a chainsaw. When a local farmer who is damn near a cult leader realizes that the boys have stolen that chainsaw from his farm, a gritty story of a couple of boys up to no good turns into pure, gut spilling horror.
It’s a quick read, and horror fans will love it. Buckle up and hold on. This Trans Am of a novella is a ripper.
Randy Lee and JT are Smokey and the Bandit obsessed grifters who plan a bank heist with a chainsaw. When a local farmer who is damn near a cult leader realizes that the boys have stolen that chainsaw from his farm, a gritty story of a couple of boys up to no good turns into pure, gut spilling horror.
It’s a quick read, and horror fans will love it. Buckle up and hold on. This Trans Am of a novella is a ripper.
August 20, 2018
For fans of Hobo with a Shotgun/House of 1,000 Corpses.
This is a straight up grindhouse blast-o-rama!
I have seen Bender chatting about this on Twitter, and it sounded like a fun little B-Movie to read, and boy was he right.
If this was a feature film, it would be the action movie that is shown 4 or 5 times a week on TBS or Showcase or whatever movies-that-still-have-commercials channel you have.
Definitely recommend if you want a fun, fast-paced, easy-to-read, action packed story! Look forward to the follow up!
This is a straight up grindhouse blast-o-rama!
I have seen Bender chatting about this on Twitter, and it sounded like a fun little B-Movie to read, and boy was he right.
If this was a feature film, it would be the action movie that is shown 4 or 5 times a week on TBS or Showcase or whatever movies-that-still-have-commercials channel you have.
Definitely recommend if you want a fun, fast-paced, easy-to-read, action packed story! Look forward to the follow up!
August 18, 2018
This was a good, quick read. I definitely laughed out loud several times while reading. The characters themselves don't have too much depth, but that's okay for this story; there's enough to make the story enjoyable. Plenty of action and gore - I hope to read a longer, more developed novel from Bender in the future.
December 13, 2021
A terrifically violent hicksploitation throwback, with plenty of oddball characters, colourful dialogue and chainsaw death.
May 23, 2023
Oh, man...What a wonderfully wicked tale of white trash on the warpath. This debut novella by John Bender is as explosive and unpredictable as a dope trailer. It grabs you by the gullet and refuses to relinquish until you've reached the end. Like the amps in This Is Spinal Tap, the action is cranked up to 11.
In this pitch black comedy of errors, we meet our two selfish, but loveable protagonists: Randy Lee Travis and James Taylor (JT) Gunderson. They are ne'er-do-wells who live to get as high, drunk and laid as they can. They also share a dream: to own a black Trans Am like Burt Reynolds drove in Smokey and the Bandit. Of course, poor white trash life is anything but fruitful. How will they ever secure the funds to carry their dream aloft? As the title suggests, it involves a chainsaw. But how so, you may ask? As a way to show they mean business when they hatch a half-cocked plan to rob a bank. What follows is nothing short of hilarious, violent fun.
At just shy of 100 pages, this one flies by far faster than you would expect. It moves at the speed ol' Burt himself would hit when evading Jackie Gleason in his various misadventures. Short, shocking and supremely humorous. Very much a piston-pumping pulverizing and pummeling punishment (in all the right ways).
I'm giving this one ☠️ x5 (just so much fun)!
In this pitch black comedy of errors, we meet our two selfish, but loveable protagonists: Randy Lee Travis and James Taylor (JT) Gunderson. They are ne'er-do-wells who live to get as high, drunk and laid as they can. They also share a dream: to own a black Trans Am like Burt Reynolds drove in Smokey and the Bandit. Of course, poor white trash life is anything but fruitful. How will they ever secure the funds to carry their dream aloft? As the title suggests, it involves a chainsaw. But how so, you may ask? As a way to show they mean business when they hatch a half-cocked plan to rob a bank. What follows is nothing short of hilarious, violent fun.
At just shy of 100 pages, this one flies by far faster than you would expect. It moves at the speed ol' Burt himself would hit when evading Jackie Gleason in his various misadventures. Short, shocking and supremely humorous. Very much a piston-pumping pulverizing and pummeling punishment (in all the right ways).
I'm giving this one ☠️ x5 (just so much fun)!
March 11, 2019
This novella was a riot! It’s a comically violent tale of two good ol’ boys who decide to rob a bank (using only a flashlight and a chainsaw!) in order to buy the holy grail of all vehicles: a black and gold, 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. Yep, just like the one used by the late, great Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.
I found it having the same quirky wit and weirdness as Joe Lansdale’s Bubba Ho Tep, the Coen Brothers’ film Raising Arizona, and any of the redneck/white trash characters Edward Lee so masterfully writes.
The epilogue promises a sequel and I really hope Bender follows through with further adventures of these halfwit criminals. In any case, whether it’s the sequel or a completely unrelated story, I can’t wait to see what Bender writes next. Check this one out!
I found it having the same quirky wit and weirdness as Joe Lansdale’s Bubba Ho Tep, the Coen Brothers’ film Raising Arizona, and any of the redneck/white trash characters Edward Lee so masterfully writes.
The epilogue promises a sequel and I really hope Bender follows through with further adventures of these halfwit criminals. In any case, whether it’s the sequel or a completely unrelated story, I can’t wait to see what Bender writes next. Check this one out!
March 22, 2019
Genetic throwback trailer trash numbskulls short on funds decide to rob a bank using a chainsaw as a persuasive weapon. Cartoonish redneck buffoonery ensues, where a wormhole of ineptitude and wilfully self-inflicted moronism threatens to overtake events.
The humour is hit and miss, but even when it goes awry it still does its job to authentically capture the lowlife psyche. I did chuckle a good few times at the antics. The language is rich and lively in its telling, a barrage of toxic hick spewage laced with amped odes to bodily fluids. The yokel slapstick has some fun times, and the violence has a tacky hyperreal execution. Scenes featuring the chainsaw are satisfying in their brutal wonder but overall I feel even more chainsaw havoc is required.
Entertaining schlockfest with a pulpy retro tone.
The humour is hit and miss, but even when it goes awry it still does its job to authentically capture the lowlife psyche. I did chuckle a good few times at the antics. The language is rich and lively in its telling, a barrage of toxic hick spewage laced with amped odes to bodily fluids. The yokel slapstick has some fun times, and the violence has a tacky hyperreal execution. Scenes featuring the chainsaw are satisfying in their brutal wonder but overall I feel even more chainsaw havoc is required.
Entertaining schlockfest with a pulpy retro tone.
August 4, 2018
Randy Lee and JT are looking to dig up the money to purchase the car made famous by Burt Reynolds "Smokey" and to do so they need to rob the bank with Randy's newly acquired chainsaw. It's was purloined from Farmer Bender's equipment shed and he is far from happy about it.
This was a crazy short read that just tried too hard to be funny all the time. It made me laugh out loud in places, but at others the jokes felt a touch forced. It's not a book that is aiming for realism, so there is no point judging the characters on that. Randy Lee and JT's relationship is mostly abusive with brotherly love thrown in.
Being the forgiving reader that I am, I'll stick around for the sequel and see if I like that any better.
This was a crazy short read that just tried too hard to be funny all the time. It made me laugh out loud in places, but at others the jokes felt a touch forced. It's not a book that is aiming for realism, so there is no point judging the characters on that. Randy Lee and JT's relationship is mostly abusive with brotherly love thrown in.
Being the forgiving reader that I am, I'll stick around for the sequel and see if I like that any better.
August 24, 2018
A laugh-riot in a hyper-realistic redneck hell.
The best way to describe the world of "Chainsaw" and the upcoming "Woodyfist" would be to compare it to the cult favourite books of David Wong. Most notably "John Dies at the End." If you took the scummy, yet lovable freaks, meth-heads and trash from those books and stripped away the utterly bizarre cosmic horror aspects I think you'd have something close to Bender's work.
Lewd, crude and breakneck.
Get your TEETH into CHAINSAW today!
... teeth. Y'know, like the teeth on a chainsaw?
The best way to describe the world of "Chainsaw" and the upcoming "Woodyfist" would be to compare it to the cult favourite books of David Wong. Most notably "John Dies at the End." If you took the scummy, yet lovable freaks, meth-heads and trash from those books and stripped away the utterly bizarre cosmic horror aspects I think you'd have something close to Bender's work.
Lewd, crude and breakneck.
Get your TEETH into CHAINSAW today!
... teeth. Y'know, like the teeth on a chainsaw?
August 8, 2018
Confession time. If it hadn’t been for an interview with John Bender on the Cedar Hollow Horror Reviews website, I may not have been aware of him and his excellent taste in Motorhead shirts. During the course of the interview he spoke about his writing and his novella “Chainsaw.” I was intrigued enough to buy a copy for my Kindle Fire and sat down to read it yesterday evening with a cool beverage in hand.
All I can say is I’m so pleased I took the time to read the interview and buy the book. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. “Chainsaw” is a laugh a minute, violent as hell and an absolute blast that horror fans will enjoy.
I laughed out loud at the antics of Randy Lee and JT as they try to acquire the money to buy a “Smokey and the Bandit” Trans Am Firebird. Our less-than-bright heroes decide to rob the local bank and use a chainsaw that Randy had “acquired” from Farmer Bender. Needless to say, Bender is none-too-happy about losing his prized chainsaw. Unknown to the boys, Bender is as close to a cult leader as a guy can get and what follows can best be described as pure, gut-spilling horror that blends 70s/80s exploitation violence, comedy, colorful language, oddball characterization, a little abusive brotherly love, and chainsaw mayhem into a quick and fun read.
The story had me laughing all the way through as Randy Lee and JT stumbled from one disaster to another. I couldn’t wait to see what bad things would happen next and I was pleased to see another installment teased at the end.
Bravo John. Thank you for the entertainment.
All I can say is I’m so pleased I took the time to read the interview and buy the book. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. “Chainsaw” is a laugh a minute, violent as hell and an absolute blast that horror fans will enjoy.
I laughed out loud at the antics of Randy Lee and JT as they try to acquire the money to buy a “Smokey and the Bandit” Trans Am Firebird. Our less-than-bright heroes decide to rob the local bank and use a chainsaw that Randy had “acquired” from Farmer Bender. Needless to say, Bender is none-too-happy about losing his prized chainsaw. Unknown to the boys, Bender is as close to a cult leader as a guy can get and what follows can best be described as pure, gut-spilling horror that blends 70s/80s exploitation violence, comedy, colorful language, oddball characterization, a little abusive brotherly love, and chainsaw mayhem into a quick and fun read.
The story had me laughing all the way through as Randy Lee and JT stumbled from one disaster to another. I couldn’t wait to see what bad things would happen next and I was pleased to see another installment teased at the end.
Bravo John. Thank you for the entertainment.
December 30, 2018
I dislike canned beer.
I know. What the heck does that particular statement have to do with an e-book review.
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Canned beer tastes like tin. Not even really good tin. Canned beer tastes like the kind of a tin that you might moldering away in the back of a nuclear-irradiated landfill. You taste the cheap lead paint and the half-price solder that the can-maker purchased at a Dollar Store bankruptcy sale. You taste the corrosion and that sad and unfulfilled flavor of broken promises.
Yeah, that's it.
Canned beer is a broken promise.
Well, John Bender's novella CHAINSAW does NOT break its promise.
We got white trash rednecks, we got a crime spree, and we got a chainsaw.
They are all there, as promised.
What more could you ask for?
Randy Lee and JT are the kind of dumb criminal that keeps AMERICA'S DUMBEST CRIMINALS in business. I was cheering for them the whole time, in that same kind of a way that you might cheer for Charlie Brown to FINALLY kick that stupid football, before Lucy yanks it away from the reach of his foot and he slams down upon his backbone, rattling each separate vertebrae like a rock 'em, sock 'em glockenspiel.
Grab this book for a giggle or two of wonderfully tasteless humor and try and think of Burt Reynolds while you do it.
yours in storytelling,
Steve Vernon
PS: I read the e-book version on Kindle. The title in e-book format did NOT have a period at the end of it. I think that was a typo on the paperback, but I am just guessing. Hey, I'm a writer. I am PAID to guess and make up stuff.
I know. What the heck does that particular statement have to do with an e-book review.
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Canned beer tastes like tin. Not even really good tin. Canned beer tastes like the kind of a tin that you might moldering away in the back of a nuclear-irradiated landfill. You taste the cheap lead paint and the half-price solder that the can-maker purchased at a Dollar Store bankruptcy sale. You taste the corrosion and that sad and unfulfilled flavor of broken promises.
Yeah, that's it.
Canned beer is a broken promise.
Well, John Bender's novella CHAINSAW does NOT break its promise.
We got white trash rednecks, we got a crime spree, and we got a chainsaw.
They are all there, as promised.
What more could you ask for?
Randy Lee and JT are the kind of dumb criminal that keeps AMERICA'S DUMBEST CRIMINALS in business. I was cheering for them the whole time, in that same kind of a way that you might cheer for Charlie Brown to FINALLY kick that stupid football, before Lucy yanks it away from the reach of his foot and he slams down upon his backbone, rattling each separate vertebrae like a rock 'em, sock 'em glockenspiel.
Grab this book for a giggle or two of wonderfully tasteless humor and try and think of Burt Reynolds while you do it.
yours in storytelling,
Steve Vernon
PS: I read the e-book version on Kindle. The title in e-book format did NOT have a period at the end of it. I think that was a typo on the paperback, but I am just guessing. Hey, I'm a writer. I am PAID to guess and make up stuff.
January 16, 2019
You want high brow literary excellence and nuanced narrative that weaves a web of mystery around your mind? You want heroes and role models who face incredible odds and come through to prove that the good always prosper? You want well considered commentary of our times delivered through a tapestry of rich metaphor? Then don’t, what ever you do, buy Chainsaw by John Bender.
Chainsaw is a high octane carnival of chaos that starts crazy, then goes off the rails, before snorting up a big hoof of meth and driving on to reach new levels of insanity. If John Bender made an aftershave, it wouldn’t be called subtlety; that’s for certain.
The book is a crime caper, but one that pushes all the right buttons. It has a chaotic nature that delivers a frenzied full-tilt assault on your imagination. I nearly pissed myself laughing.
The story centres on two characters, Randy Lee Travis and James Taylor ‘Jiggle Tits’ Gunderson. Their dream is to rob a bank (with a chainsaw and a torch, as you do) and use the money to buy a Trans Am Firebird, just like the one driven by Burt in Smokey and the Bandit. What could go wrong?
Bender’s style is loose, dark and comedic. It’s like sitting in a bar talking to a wide-eyed lunatic. You can’t walk away, because he’s armed and has your balls in a vice. Chainsaw is a short read, but an intensely entertaining one. It’s made better by the addition of good rum and a cigar.
There’s only one statement I can make about Chainsaw: it’s the best ‘cocked-up bank robbery to fund a Burt Reynolds-inspired dream’ book out there! So read it.
Chainsaw is a high octane carnival of chaos that starts crazy, then goes off the rails, before snorting up a big hoof of meth and driving on to reach new levels of insanity. If John Bender made an aftershave, it wouldn’t be called subtlety; that’s for certain.
The book is a crime caper, but one that pushes all the right buttons. It has a chaotic nature that delivers a frenzied full-tilt assault on your imagination. I nearly pissed myself laughing.
The story centres on two characters, Randy Lee Travis and James Taylor ‘Jiggle Tits’ Gunderson. Their dream is to rob a bank (with a chainsaw and a torch, as you do) and use the money to buy a Trans Am Firebird, just like the one driven by Burt in Smokey and the Bandit. What could go wrong?
Bender’s style is loose, dark and comedic. It’s like sitting in a bar talking to a wide-eyed lunatic. You can’t walk away, because he’s armed and has your balls in a vice. Chainsaw is a short read, but an intensely entertaining one. It’s made better by the addition of good rum and a cigar.
There’s only one statement I can make about Chainsaw: it’s the best ‘cocked-up bank robbery to fund a Burt Reynolds-inspired dream’ book out there! So read it.
April 14, 2019
I’d never have known about this book if I hadn’t come upon its author, John Bender, on Twitter, via other crime authors who I follow. Being that I like to support independent publishing, I followed him too, and was quickly taken by his book’s brilliant cover art.
Before I read the blurb about the story, I’d initially been concerned it might be a horror story (I’m a scaredy cat and can’t do classic horror). But just in case you’re like me, I can now vouch that it’s not that way at all. You’ll find it horrific and gross, but simultaneously hilarious. And, sadly, plausible!
If I’d read this book 20 years ago before I moved to the US, I’d still have enjoyed it just as much. But I would’ve enjoyed it for what I’d have thought was an entertaining, but surely-unlikely scenario, about some surely-fictional American characters. Now, after 19 years here, especially living in the Midwest, that enjoyment relates to being entertained by some highly-believable characters. I’m actually pretty sure I’ve met some of them...
John Bender does a great job painting the scenes for you, and especially in defining the characters. His descriptions of them are hilarious. Overall, the story is nutty and quirky, and brings a fun twist to the world of crime.
This book is technically a novella, so you’ll finish it really quickly, but that’ll just leave you wanting more. Good news, though—there’s a sequel in the works! I’m definitely looking forward to it, and I know you will be too.
Don’t pass it by—you’ll be missing out on the most fun you’ve ever had with a chainsaw.
Before I read the blurb about the story, I’d initially been concerned it might be a horror story (I’m a scaredy cat and can’t do classic horror). But just in case you’re like me, I can now vouch that it’s not that way at all. You’ll find it horrific and gross, but simultaneously hilarious. And, sadly, plausible!
If I’d read this book 20 years ago before I moved to the US, I’d still have enjoyed it just as much. But I would’ve enjoyed it for what I’d have thought was an entertaining, but surely-unlikely scenario, about some surely-fictional American characters. Now, after 19 years here, especially living in the Midwest, that enjoyment relates to being entertained by some highly-believable characters. I’m actually pretty sure I’ve met some of them...
John Bender does a great job painting the scenes for you, and especially in defining the characters. His descriptions of them are hilarious. Overall, the story is nutty and quirky, and brings a fun twist to the world of crime.
This book is technically a novella, so you’ll finish it really quickly, but that’ll just leave you wanting more. Good news, though—there’s a sequel in the works! I’m definitely looking forward to it, and I know you will be too.
Don’t pass it by—you’ll be missing out on the most fun you’ve ever had with a chainsaw.
April 13, 2019
Love it or leave it. This book is that simple. If you're intrigued in the first few pages it won't disappoint you. The crass candour continues throughout the read. If it's not on par with your sensibilities in as many pages then you should stop, or at least swear to keep your offended soul from talking trash about the author or his book. It's not for everyone, but those that love it are really going to love it and hopefully pass it on to their friends and loved ones. Robberies, chases, mad lovin' and bodily functions abound.
It's irreverent yet clings to valued friendships and close family ties.
If you can hold the flashlight, the author will take you for a helluva ride!
It's irreverent yet clings to valued friendships and close family ties.
If you can hold the flashlight, the author will take you for a helluva ride!
July 24, 2018
If you dig stupid violent people doing stupid violent things, often to each other, Chainsaw delivers and then some. If you don't dig stupid violent people doing stupid violent things well, what's wrong with you? Fan's of Adam Howe's Reggie Levine stories should dig this one as the over the top action and humor make this novella a quick and fun read.
November 9, 2018
'Chainsaw' is a fun, quick read that is filled with action, gore, and hilarity. Peppered with clever pop culture references and overflowing with white trashy goodness, 'Chainsaw' packs a whole lot of blood, guts and stupidity into a novella - and it's absolutely delightful. I anticipate re-reading this many times due to its perfect balance of humor and horror.
February 23, 2019
Funny, gory, funny again, exciting...it's a roller coaster reading CHAINSAW.
John knows how to write lovable morons that you can't help but cheer for, even when they are doing the stupidest things possible.
If you like short, funny books with more than a splash of colorful language and gore - look no further!
John knows how to write lovable morons that you can't help but cheer for, even when they are doing the stupidest things possible.
If you like short, funny books with more than a splash of colorful language and gore - look no further!
August 4, 2018
Well, that was a cluster f__k!! Never seen two individuals have such bad luck! This was an interesting read, keeps you engaged, eager to see what will go wrong next!! Strangely looking forward to the next installment!!
October 25, 2018
Non stop madness and mayhem
Thoroughly enjoyed this story and found myself rooting for the idiot outlaws with dreams of better things. The crazy farmer in the story could do with a story of his own.
Apparently there is a sequel coming called Woodyfist - can't wait.
Thoroughly enjoyed this story and found myself rooting for the idiot outlaws with dreams of better things. The crazy farmer in the story could do with a story of his own.
Apparently there is a sequel coming called Woodyfist - can't wait.
September 11, 2018
Not a lot of substance with this one, but a hell of a lot of fun.
December 13, 2018
Utterly bonkers in the best way, full of absurd violence and dirty jokes. This is the kind of insanity you’d get if Tarintino explored white trash America. Great fun, and a great quick read.
January 20, 2023
Short gory story that is definitely good for a laugh.
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