Never Loved Before

Never #1

by Monica Murphy, Barbara Ostrop (Translator)

Ich habe mein Leben für sie riskiert, darf mich aber nicht zu erkennen geben ...
Vor langer Zeit, als ich fünfzehn und eine komplett andere Person war, habe ich einem Mädchen das Leben gerettet. Ich habe nur ein paar Stunden mit ihr verbracht, aber irgendwie entstand eine Verbindung – und seitdem war ich nicht mehr derselbe. Niemand versteht, was wir durchgemacht haben. Niemand weiß, was es bedeutet, wir zu sein. Wir haben überlebt, aber ich fühle mich nicht, als ob ich richtig leben würde – bis jetzt. Acht Jahre später habe ich sie gefunden. Ich will, dass sie zu mir gehört. Aber sie wird mich für immer hassen, wenn sie herausfindet, wer ich wirklich bin.

Genres: Romance, New Adult, Contemporary, Dark, Contemporary Romance, Abuse, Dark Romance

512 pages, Paperback

First published January 5, 2016

About the author

New York Times, USA Today and international bestselling author. A believer in kissing. A believer of love.

Sign up for my newsletter: https://monicamurphyauthor.com/subscribe

Hang out with me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/monicamurphyauthor

I'm on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@monicamurphya...

Reviews

[Monica Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm proud of this book peeps. It's unlike anything I've written before and I feel like I've really stretched my writer wings with this story. It's not for the faint of heart. The subject matter is tough. The hero and heroine have suffered a lot. But they are two broken people alone who only make sense when they're together - and that's my favorite kind of romance.

Spotify playlist for NTUA: https://open.spotify.com/user/1265567...

IT'S LIVE PEEPS! You can find NEVER TEAR US APART here:

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1KzdZSa
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1R3zkuq
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/1PNyi5N
iBooks: http://apple.co/1MoW1EJ
B&N: http://bit.ly/1j80Pon
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1MHt8GE
Books-a-Million: http://bit.ly/1OPM7ym
Google Play: http://bit.ly/1iL7y7T
Penguin/Random House: http://bit.ly/1Jo0Ut7

[Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

I want her. As wrong and twisted as I know it is, I can't deny it.
I want her, all for myself.

Sometimes you read a book that touches you on an emotional level. It's a book that burrows into your very heart and grabs hold. A book that's different yet unforgettable. A book that touches on a deeply emotional and dark subject and yet gives you the light at the end of the tunnel for it. THIS, this was that book for me. I think this may easily be one of my favorite books I've read by this author to date. It was beautiful, poignant, and perfectly written. This could not have been an easy book for Monica Murphy to write, and yet she pulled it off flawlessly.

Katie Watts. Pretty. Blond. Innocent. Sweet and trusting and needing me so damn bad. She was the one I kept chasing like a drug. She was the one I could never have.

Never tear us apart is told in dual POV with flashes from present to past. It's done in a flash of memory, allowing the reader to be truly a part of their story. You get to experience it along with the characters and that was one of the things I appreciated the most about it. So often it's easy to just tell the reader about the emotions and experience, yet the author truly shows you. She sucks you into their story and their past. She makes you feel right along with them.

Katie Watts survived something at twelve years old that no child should ever experience. She saw the very core of human darkness and she's been a shell of a person since. Countless therapy sessions and eight years have helped her deal with it but not truly heal. The one light in the darkness of the memory is the guardian angel in the shape of a fifteen year old boy that saved her life. No matter how much time has gone by, he's still her rock. Her everything. Even if she hasn't seen him since that day.

Ethan watches Katie from afar. Does she know who he is? Does she know how he feels about her? Can he ever allow himself to just get close to her to show her? He knows that he's the only one that truly understands her. He knows he just may be the only one that may be able to heal her.

And that is the only thing you should know going in. Trust me on this. You don't want more than what that synopsis gives you. You want to experience these details as they unfold in the story. You'll enjoy it that much more.

What I can tell you is this was a slow paced romance, and realistically so. Considering Katie's history and the way that things start, it wouldn't be true to the characters to have it any other way. That doesn't make their romance any less poignant, though. If anything, that added burn just makes it that much better.

There was no turning back. Not for us. Not today. And I don’t want to turn back. I want him. Every time I’m near him I feel greedy. Like I want to grab hold of him and tell the world that he’s mine. That he belongs to me.”

If you're concerned about certain dark aspects of Katie's past, don't be. The author did an amazing job of giving you the idea but not truly going into detail. She gives the reader just enough to use their imagination but not overwhelmingly so, if that makes sense. Kudos to you, Miss Murphy, for pulling that off.

If you're looking for something a little different, Never Tear Us Apart is a must read. Part one of a duet, it does end on a cliffhanger, and book two will be out in May. I didn't even mind the cliffhanger because it didn't feel contrived or like it was added for shock value. Everything about this book just worked. I can't recommend it enough.

ARC courtesy of publisher in exchange for an honest review

Graphics are stock purchased and created by me for DGR blog. Please don't share without permission

Find me on:

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Only Us STARS



I liked the premise of this story so much more than the story itself. Who doesn’t want to know more about a survivor of a kidnapping and how she is coping years after the horrific ordeal?

”I lost my innocence at the age of twelve, far too early. And the man who stole it from me will haunt me forever.”

Adding to the interesting plot is the fact that the love interest is the boy who saved her and also the son of her captor.

"You saved me from him. You're my hero. Like an angel from heaven."

I thought there was no way this one could be anything but awesome for me. Sadly, I was wrong.

• It’s a very slow read.



• The hero keeps his identity secret from the heroine WAY to long. The longer he waited and moaned on in his POV of how much he wanted her – it just felt creepy instead of dreamy.



• Couple’s connection: they definitely should have a connection but one walk to the police station together and she became the girl of his dreams being so very young. I just didn’t buy it.



Why is everyone but the Hero dangerous in this book? She has two interactions with males in the present: one of which is a robbery and other a creeper in a bar.

”Am I a magnet for creeps or what?”



The hero and his failure to tell his secret drove me nuts.

”And I can’t do that. Not tonight. I need one night with her. Just one. I’ll tell her the truth soon. Tomorrow maybe.”



The story is told in past chapters in both Katie and Will/Ethan’s POVs as well as present chapters done in both POVS ending with a cliffhanger. I’m not sure for the price and the hero, if I’m that invested to read on. I’ll have time to decide since the next book isn’t set to release till May. I hope it’s a better read for you!

[Pavlina Read more sleep less blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-4,5 STARS

This was a totally different book from what Monica Murphy usually writes. Katie and Ethan's story was definitely a unique one, it has nothing to do with her other stories.This story is so emotional, heartbreaking and intense.

"I know the remnants from my old one would cling to me.The worry.The fear.The sadness.They're hard to get rid of.Even harder to live with."

The writing is so beautiful and the back and forth make the story realistic and make you understand what happened.The plot was captivating and will keep in suspense waiting for what will happen next.



Katie and Ethan were so cute and sweet. Their connection was so intense and I felt all their emotions. I loved Katie and I like that she grew as a character from the start to the end of the book. And Ethan OMG he was so sweet I liked him a lot. He cared for Katie and he only wanted to protect her.

"As I spend more time with him,he also makes me feel safe.Protected."

I loved this story and I want so badly to read the next book and see what will happen next !I believe that you should definitely read this book!!

*An advance reading copy was generously provided to me via the publisher on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

[Sharon ∞❥ is an emotional book junkie ❥∞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

From reading the blurb, I wasn't sure how dark this book would be especially since it's my first read by Monica Murphy. I was pleasantly surprised that while it does delve a bit into some not very nice things, it's not very explicit.

Will and Katie meet when he rescues her from being kidnapped by his father! That's right...his father! Will's been put in a very precarious spot but he does the right thing and that's what important. But what's more important is the bond that he forms with Katie.

The story is told in the present with flashbacks to the past that occurred eight years ago and thankfully we get both POVs. I was a little frustrated that it took a while to get the whole story.



In the present, Katherine, as she likes to be called now, has decided to finally tell her story. She's trying to own what happened to her and move forward. Her and Will were forced to lose contact with each other so she has no idea that he saw her show and found out where she lives. They end up reconnecting at the scene of the crime but she doesn't recognize him.

Will had it rough for many years and in a way, he's just as broken as Katherine. When he sees her show, he feels a powerful need to make sure she is okay. He wants to fix what his father messed up. So when Katherine doesn't recognize him, he decides to try and help her. It's a slippery slope and we all know the truth is going to come out.

Some of the things that Katherine goes through were hard to read. You just want to protect her so you can't blame Will. On the other hand, when is the right time for him to tell the truth? I had a hard time with him fluctuating between running hot and cold.

However, they are really sweet together and I loved how Will was always protecting her. They were pretty steamy as well.

The big drama happens right at the end and is a bit of a cliffhanger. Thankfully, M.M. provided an excerpt for the next book, Never Let You Go, that's coming out May 3, 2016.



Favorite quote:

♥ "Only us."

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 - Only Us. Stars!

I am no stranger to Monica Murphy’s writing, in the past she has delivered up some absolutely stellar standalones and series. That said, I honestly can say that Never Tear Us Apart may well be her finest work to date. I think mainly because it is so different from what she has previously published, this is a book that pulls you in, and keeps you emotionally invested right up until the end.



This isn’t a fluffy romance, and at points it’s quite dark and gritty, a little uncomfortable to read, and it makes you think. Told from differing points of view, we get the 'Then' and the 'Now' but the story line isn’t told in a straight time frame, Monica has dealt with splitting up Katie and Will’s past eight years, whilst integrating it at pertinent points, with Katherine’s current, and how her budding relationship with Ethan, is helping her rebuild herself into the woman she wants to be in the future.

I was violated in the worst way. Mentally. Emotionally. So much that the physical violation doesn’t even matter any longer.

As I said this book was difficult to read in parts, not because the author went into great detail of the things that Katie dealt with during her capture, although it isn’t glamorized either, but I just found myself so emotionally invested in the story, not to mention the characters that it was hard to separate from it at points. This is one of those books that sits with you even after you have put it down, and for me that highlights just how special it is.

Memories may fade, but they never really go away.

I didn’t realize this was book one, of two when I started it, but as Never Tear Us Apart progressed it became pretty obvious that the relationship growing between Ethan and Katherine was not going to be an easy one, there are a lot of secrets and omissions of the truth that are gradually revealed as it progresses, and it is pretty apparent that when it all comes to the fore, nothing is ever going to be the same for either of them ever again.

"Promise?"

This is where the author left the story, and although I wanted to throw my Kindle at the wall I can understand why she did. A lot has happened, there is a lot to absorb. And May isn’t that far off really is it!



Never let You Go the conclusion of Katherine and Ethan’s story is due as mentioned in May, I am hoping against hope that the author gives them the 'Happily Ever After' that they deserve. But I am expecting it to be an extremely bumpy and emotional journey for them (and me) to get there.

When you’ve already faced your death once, what do you have left to fear?

ARC generously provided via Netgalley, and it was my absolute pleasure to provide the above honest review.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC provided by publisher n exchange for an honest review



“I’m her guardian angel after all. It’s my duty to ensure she’s safe.”

An utterly devastatingly beautiful tale of innocence, loss, sadness, heartbreak, redemption, and hope. With her gripping, heartfelt, poignant, and gorgeous prose, Monica Murphy has truly captured my heart, mind, and soul with this touching tale that is filled with layers upon layers of raw emotions. Never Tear Us Apart leaves readers yearning for more. More of the onslaught of tidal waves of emotions that only Monica Murphy can deliver. Ms. Murphy paints a literary tale that will hold you hostage as you beg for more of Ethan and Katie.



“My heart tripped over itself. That was the exact moment I knew this boy was my guardian angel, sent to protect me. Only me. He was mine. ”

Never Tear Us Apart is a story that is not for the faint of heart. It is a story that is gritty, raw, and poignant. It is a story of devastation. A story where life and innocence is stolen. Ripped away. A story where a victim/survivor faces her past, fears, and the unknown of what lies ahead of her. A story where an unlikely hero is her salvation. A story where hero doesn't feel like a hero. A story of conflict. A story where right and wrong is blurred. A story where two lives intersect. Two souls mingling. Two hearts beating as one. A connection made. A story where light is overshadowed by remnants of darkness. And most importantly a story of hope, redemption and second chances.



In this story, we are introduced to Katherine Watts. The 12 year old girl who was abducted and raped by a serial killer. And eight years later, Katherine is finally coming out and telling her story to the public in hopes that she can finally move on and let go. Let go and cleanse of herself of what Aaron Monroe did to her eight years ago and also tell the story of the boy, who rescued her. Her guardian angel. William Monroe, the son of her abductor and rapist.

“I don’t need to hear all the dirty details. I’m an integral part of those dirty details. The only thing I’m curious about is … her. What makes her tick, what moves her. Does she ever laugh, or is she serious and sad all the time? What’s her favorite movie, her favorite color? Does she sigh in her sleep? Does she sleep soundly? Or does she deal with the nightmares every night? If I’m honest with myself, I also want to know what she might feel like in my arms. Is her hair still just as soft as it was when I first met her? Would I ever get a chance to kiss her? Whisper in her ear how she makes me feel ? Discover the way she tastes? I want all of that. Every last bit. I want all of her. ”

While the public and her family categorized Will as another bad seed since they assume the apple doesn't fall from the tree, Katie doesn't see Will that way. She sees him as her hero. A young man who rescued her from death. Her guardian angel. Since it's been eight years, Katie doesn't know what has become of Will since her family has blocked off any contact with Will. But the memory of Will has never been forgotten. It is fair to say that Will has been forever etched into her heart, mind and soul.

“She’s such a part of my life, my past, it’s like she’s permanently imprinted on my heart, seared into my fucking soul. Her words are on my skin and she has no idea. No fucking clue.”

After a national coverage interview of her story, Katie never thought she would meet someone who could fully understand the magnitude of how broken she truly is that is until she meets Ethan. When Ethan rescues her from an attempted mugging, there was something in Ethan's eyes and demeanor that made her feel safe. It brought out the same emotions that she felt for Will. But what Katie fails to realize is that Ethan is her Will.



Ethan knew what it meant to have darkness clouding your heart and future. He endured it. Lived it. And survived it. When he rescued Katie from his father, he didn't seem to grasp the magnitude of how much it altered and shaped his life. She was his sliver of hope that he can be freed from the abuse and torment his father inflicted him emotionally. She was his redemption. She was his second chance at life. But as far as the public could see, he was still William Monroe, the son of a serial killer. So when Will decided to change his name five years ago, he wanted to erase and start all over with a clean slate as Ethan Williams. And as Ethan Williams, he wanted to see the girl who was forever etched into his heart. His angel, Katie Watts.

“My heart cracks. This girl. She’s burrowed right into it. She tucked herself in the depths of my heart years ago, when I first found her on that dirty mattress, bruised and filthy and so scared.”

The connection that Will and Katie had was so strong and palpable. It could not be explained. And so when Ethan finally integrated himself into Katherine's life, he couldn't just walk away. He had to be near her. He wanted to protect her. Erase all the bad memories that his father tainted. And most importantly, Ethan wanted Katie to be loved by him. He knew it was wrong to lie to her and not tell her that the Will she was searching for was him. So what happens when Katie discovers the truth of Ethan? Can Katie ever recover from all the lies and betrayal after she put herself out there for Ethan? And what happens when a nosy reporter wants to make a media production of her story? William's? and Aaron Monroe? Will the past come barreling like a tornado and destroy everything that Katie tried to rebuilt of her life?

“There was no turning back. Not for us. Not today. And I don’t want to turn back. I want him. Every time I’m near him I feel greedy. Like I want to grab hold of him and tell the world that he’s mine. That he belongs to me.”

Never Tear Us Apart is an unforgettable story that will make you FEEL the heartbreak, the conflict, the loss, the devastation, the love and hope that binds Katie and Ethan. It is a story where you are hypnotized by Monica Murphy's delicate and raw prose. The writing was phenomenal as Ms. Murphy strips her readers naked as she exposes the vulnerable nature of Katie and Ethan/Will. She allows readers to be given a brief glimpse of what it truly means to have your heart and life exposed for the public to scrutinize. I seriously can't wait for the next book and conclusion of Katie and Ethan's story. So if you are looking for a book that will steal your heart, hold you hostage and leave you with a sense of hope and second chances, then I highly recommend you to read Never Tear Us Apart.



Review can also be found on Four Chicks Flipping Pages: http://fourchicksflippingpages.weebly...Monica Murphy

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Monica Murphy, so of course when I saw she was releasing a dark contemporary romance I was jumping at the bits to read it. Now that I have finished Never Tear Us Apart, I am completely torn. The one thing I know for sure is I desperately need the conclusion to the story!

Katie Watts was abducted, beaten and raped when she was twelve years old. Her life as she knew it was over and she quickly learned her actual life would soon be ending, too. Will changed Katie’s fate. A young boy himself, he choose to go against his fears and do the right thing. He saved her from his father and took her to the police.


Now eight years later Will has changed his name and tried to leave his past behind him. Despite years of therapy Katie is struggling to do the same. Everyone knows her story and everyone wants a piece of her. Regardless she tries to move forward, to be a normal girl and experience things other college students are doing. Katie is trying to move on when she meets Ethan, but he is holding back a huge secret that could completely destroy her.

This story is super fast paced and I was immediately engaged. I was so desperate to get some answers. I wanted to know everything about Katie and Will’s past and what their future would hold. I was not disappointed in that regard, but even after I finish I am still left with tons of questions and lots of mixed feelings. I am seriously struggling with how I feel about everything and who can be trusted.


The story is told in dual point of view and switches from past to present so the reader can see the full story. I can honestly tell you this story will have you in knots. My feelings have gone back and forth and I have had an ongoing debate about how things will play out. I am so desperate for the sequel and conclusion to this story. I highly recommend if you like darker romances, with a hint of suspense. (The suspense is probably just me, but I am seriously jacked up over this one!)

ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.

[*TANYA* · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really liking this book but the ending was one of the worst EVER!!! I don't know that it's enticing enough for me to continue with the second book in the series.

[Angie - Angie's Dreamy Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

SPEECHLESS!

I don't think there's ever been a more accurate description than SPEECHLESS for how I felt after I finished this book. I was left wide eyed and completely overwhelmed by the entirety of this story. It's been 5 days since I finished and I'm still overwhelmed by what I read. I needed time, time to gather my thoughts.

To say it's been impossible to focus on anything, is an understatement. I have obsessed and torn apart every one of Monica's words in my head. And I have so many emotions churning inside me, my heart feels like it's in chaos.

This was a POWERFUL read.
One that hurt me all over.
It was heart wrenching.
Intense.
Overpowering.
Yet so beautiful and hopeful at the same time.

I don't know how the author did it. I don't know how she captured the feelings of love and yearning, friendship and connection, between the mix of terror and guilt these characters dealt with from the kidnapping and assault. And I really don't know how she managed to craft this into a love story that made sense.

But she did!
She did, and it was so real, so authentic, and so consuming, it blew my mind.

Ethan and Katie met in a horrible way. A way no human would ever wish on someone else. It was scary and painful, and so many other words I can't seem to find. But through the entire situation, the fighting spirit in both these characters, the courageousness showed bright and strong.

You know, life was so unkind to Katie and Ethan.

Often times we read about "broken" characters in books. Sometimes that's true. They really are broken by circumstances outside of their grasp. But other times, it's just a set up, an excuse for the main characters to do messed up things. In this story, these two beautiful souls are truly destroyed by what has happened. They are SO troubled, SO beaten by life and the fall out of what they've been through that they are struggling. BUT what could be completely debilitating, has yet to defeat them. It's unreal. Somewhere deep inside is a determination, a fierce courage, to beat back those demons and leave the past behind.

I don't know if I'm making sense, but this story is breathtaking.
Ethan and Katie take my breath away.

And even though their romance is a little forbidden, and would be looked at by many as insane, they are bonded, connected on a level I can't begin to explain. I don't think anyone can help what their hearts want. Ethan knows that having any relationship with Katie is wrong, yet he cannot stop himself from FEELING--Feeling the need to protect and nurture, to heal and make her life MORE than okay. To make her his.

God, you guys, I can't put this into words properly. I'm overtaken by this book. I'm so affected by it, my words are a muddled mess in my brain.

I just want to say, this novel is powerful.
It's not an easy read.
It's hard on the soul.
The abuse Katie went through is so upsetting. But at the same time, it's dealt with gently.

I'll tell you, knowing she was kidnapped at a young age and assaulted sexually was something that almost made me NOT read this book. I don't like children being hurt. No one does. And I don't like reading about it. But after talking with a couple of reviewers, I was told it was dealt with delicately and I can honestly tell you it is. (Though I will warn, it still might be a trigger for some, so be prepared.)

Overall I'll just say that this story is about Katie coming to grips with what happened to her and allowing herself to move forward and live her life fully. It's an uphill battle. It's like climbing Everest. The kidnapping and the rape changed EVERYTHING about her. This is her story about allowing herself to move beyond the terror.

There's so many elements to this book.
SO MANY.

I don't know what more to say. You just have to read it. I'm BEYOND moved by everything and I cannot wait for the completion of this series in May. I really want to see these characters live a beautiful life. I want them to have it ALL.

God, I loved it. I have no more words. It was just WHOA!

[Olga therebelreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 'ONLY US' STARS

I've learned a lot in my short life. Had a lot of terrible things happen to me. I've known tragedy, pain, loss, unspeakable violence.
Now I've known tenderness. Passion. Desire. Romance. I've known what it feels like to be held and kissed by someone you care about.
I also know what it feels like to be betrayed. I've experienced that particular feeling again and again. - Katherine

This book was an emotional rollercoaster that I loved!


Katie was kidnapped, tortured and raped when she was twelve YO, eight years ago. Will, her kidnapper’s son, fifteen YO at that time, who had also suffered at his violent father’s hands, found her terrified, filthy and weak at his home’s basement. Will felt the crazy need to save her and protect her from his abusive father. He helped her escape and report him to the police and Katie has considered him since then to have been her guardian angel. Her abuser was sent to jail for his crimes and Katie had to find enormous strength to get through the trauma and move forward with her life without the rape affecting her every day living.

Today, she is a beautiful young woman who has all the love and support of her family. But, she still lives in the memory of this traumatic experience. She suffers from panic alarms, loneliness, and inability to have fulfilling relationships. She lacks confidence and trust and has cut herself off from love and caring. But, she feels stronger than ever and is determined to make that step from victim to survivor – to finally moving forward with her life. But fate has other plans for Katie. Will comes back in her life as Ethan. Katie doesn’t recognize him as the angel who saved her years ago. Ethan still cares for her and is obsessed with Katie.


Only one girl ever touched me, broken me, lingered within me like an intense longing. I had no idea what happened to her, where she was. She'd cut me off, though I never forgot her. No matter how much I tried.
Katie Watts. Pretty. Blond. Innocent. Sweet and trusting and needing me so damn bad. She was the one I kept chasing like a drug.
She was the one I could never have.
- Ethan


His fiery emotions and his urge to protect her bring him back to her, but his fear to confess his true identity will lead him to lies and guilt. In the beginning, she pulls away from him and avoids any intimacy of a sexual relationship with him. Ethan’s care, love, respect and patience will eventually tear down her wall.



But, will Katie be able to forgive him for his lies? Will she be able to trust him again?





The writing made me care for these people and now that I am invested in these characters, I really want to read the next book! I adored Katie, she was a fantastic female lead, my heart broke for her so many times but she remained strong throughout. Omg…what can I say! Love really does come at the worst possible time for some people, yet I believe they dealt with it perfectly. Love is never easy, and this story proves that it is worth fighting for.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. Amazing read! 5 stars!

[TJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE REVIEW

Why this book?
The synopsis sounded intriguing

What I thought



Sometimes you read a book that grabs your heart and doesn’t let go, making it hard to think coherently for hours after you’re done reading it. A book that is unforgettable, one that will stay with you forever. This is one of those books! This book was an emotion roller coaster that left me emotionally exhausted. These characters lives were torn apart and they only found happiness in eachother. I wish I could say more, but I’m lost for words to describe this amazing book. I’m just going to leave off saying do yourself a favor and read this book.

[XxTainaxX Curvy and Nerdy · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an emotional rollercoaster. Ethan/Will and Katie share a very difficult past. Will rescues her after his father abducts and rapes her. Years have passed but the connection they had as kids is still there. Will re-enters Katie's life as Ethan and they begin a shaky relationship full of push and pull as they try to find their way. The love Ethan has for Katie is possessive and obsessive. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about that. On one hand I see the connection, and on the other, the intensity kind of freaks me out a bit. I found the plot to be very interesting and the emotion of the story is really brought to life through the writing. These two broken people may have been brought together under horrific circumstances but are they still meant to be? I hope so. On to eagerly reading the conclusion. Safety: No OM/OW/Sharing. Will/Ethan dated and slept with OW as he grew up but not after he reconnected with Katie. They used condoms. Definite yes to rape and abuse. Can definitely be a trigger. There is pushing away.

[Mandi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book and I did not get along. From the blurb and skimming review on Goodreads, it looked dark and angsty - and I love some dark and angsty. I didn't find that however. Maybe I'm just bitter and old? I found the blossoming romance between our hero and heroine kind of hokey. Their thought process about each other was so over the top, I rolled my eyes the entire book. The darkness never came - yes it deals with a dark subject matter (kidnap and rape) but the darkness is skimmed over for the most part.

Let me also note - I recently read Hold Me Close by Megan Hart, which has a very similar story line. I loved that book - there were times the bad guy was about to come down the stairs where he held the hero and heroine captive and my stomach would flip-flop because I was so nervous. I couldn't help compare these books as I read, and I feel like Hart's book knocked it out of the park, while this one felt like it was written for a much younger audience, compared to my 37-year-old self.

Told in both the past and present, Katie was kidnapped by a serial killer/rapist when she was twelve. Raped, held for a few days, the rapist's son, Will, finds Katie tied up in a shed and helps her escape and run to the police. Will had no idea his father was this horrible person, although not everyone believes him. Katie's parents obviously want her to have nothing to do with him, but eventually they start to correspond with letters. They become very close over this time period, but eventually Will - who changes his name to Ethan to create distance from his father - let's her go.

But Ethan has never forgotten Katie, who he feels is his one true love. Fast forward - Katie is now living on her own and does a prime-time interview on television to finally stop the rumors that have started over the years. She tells her entire story so the truth is out there. Ethan sees this and he has this overwhelming need to find her. Using the internet, he somehow tracks down where she lives, sits outside her house and stalks her a bit - eventually following her into an amusement park (the same one she was kidnapped from). He sees someone trying to steal her purse, and intervenes.

They talk - they have coffee - they exchange numbers. Ethan can't believe he finally found Katie - Katie has no idea Ethan is Will aka the boy who saved her all those years ago. Ethan decides he can't tell her yet who he is.

Obviously, Katie has had trouble trusting men since her ordeal - but she feels safe with Ethan. They start texting and eventually have dinner and then things turn romantic. Still, Ethan has yet to tell Kate who he is.

I was fine with him not telling her at first (I guess) but once he starts a relationship with her, he needed to come clean. Why not tell her? She was always fond of him. I don't understand this. What's worse - he sleeps with her without telling her who he is. That's not right Mr. Ethan. Oh - and I love his reasoning:

I scrub a hand over my face as I pull into my driveway. Fuck. I don't know how to feel anymore. She deserves the truth. I know that. But I don't want to ruin what tonight can bring. I need her. I want her. I tell her who I really am, I blow her mind with the truth, and I'm putting everything at risk.

Everything.

And I can't do that. Not tonight. I need one night with her. Just one.

Selfish much, Ethan??? Remember Katie - the girl who was raped by your father? She MIGHT have a thing or two to think about or say before having sex with you. Gross.

I was also not a fan of the over the top - omg lust - they have with one another. It felt so immature.

...her eyes that beautiful dark blue I've never seen on anyone else. The color of twilight, right before the sunlight fades forever into the night. Navy-blue velvet that twinkles with little white stars, just a hint of purple smudging the edges, accompanied by the faintest streak of pinkish orange. So faint you think you almost imagined it.

That's the color of her eyes. Like a fucking poem or something. Having her here like this clearly renders me a lovesick poet.

I can't stop staring at her. The sun shines upon her hair, turning the thick strands varying shades of gold and cream and she's looking at me what feels like every few seconds - God, does she like me?

You might think that is romantic, but this is how the entire book sounded. It was too much!! Also note, this is a two book story - so the ending of this book does not have the HEA quite yet.

Grade: D

[❥ KAT ❥ Kitty Kats Crazy About Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

༺**Complimentary Copy**༺ Provided by the author
"Monica Murphy" in exchange for an honest review..Thank you!!





TITLE: Never Tear Us Apart
SERIES: (Never Tear Us Apart, #1)
AUTHOR: Monica Murphy
GENRE: A Stand-Alone Contemporary Romance
RELEASE DATE: January 05th, 2016

MY RATING: 5 STARS

Will add more to my review closer to release, but come release day it's one of those books you need to one click..

Man oh man I inhaled this book, such a beautifully written tale of kidnapping in its truest form, so well written it grabs you straight away, an unconventional love story that just seemed right, loved the gripping storyline, definitely different to anything this author has produced previously, can not wait to see what book #2 brings us..

* The first novel in this dark sexy contemporary series, this book does touch on the rape of a child so keep that in mind when one clicking this when it's released. *

This is Katherine and Ethan's story.

Never Tear Us Apart
KATHERINE (NOW): It starts off with Katherine telling her story for the first time to the media 10 years after the event. Her father demanded that she not conduct any interviews or tell her story when she got home after the abduction.

This one time, I will tell my story from start to finish.

ETHAN (NOW): Seeing her, hearing her on tv for the first time after all those years brings back all the forbidden memories Ethan tried to cover.

Not only was I her guardian angel, she called me her hero.

Child molester..Rapist..Killer.. My father

[Syndi · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF

I usually have tolerance with Miss Murphy books. I even like some of her books. Never Tear Us Apart is a very emotional story. Involving very sensitive subject of kidnapping. It is not for faint heart.

Sadly, I can not connect with any of the characters. I feel the chemistry between the characters is off. It seems they both travelling apart together in their love story. So complicated.

And it is too long. Just long....

2 stars

[Jacqueline's Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Never Let you Go stars

I don’t even know where to begin with this review. Never Tear Us Apart is nothing what I expect, it was a non-stop read that made me feel so many emotions. This book is so unique only a season writer like Monica Murphy could have dreamed of it. It’s a story about pain, regret, guilt, longing and redemption.

It’s eight years later and Katie is now ready to tell her story. The story of her kidnapping that has changed her life forever. I loved the way this book started. It started with the present! I actually really liked this because I didn’t want to get into detail of what happened to Katie in the past, don’t worry, you will find out throughout the book, but this pace worked for me. It was too soon to get to the gritty stuff. The beginning helped me form an opinion of who Katie is now.

Katie is damaged, tortured and slowly trying to put her life together. She feels like she is now ready to tell her story and move from it. The only thing is, she has a lot of healing to do.

Then, there is Will. Will is Katie’s hero, he’s the one that saved her from that dangerous and monstrous man, the man that tortured Katie. Will and Katie weren’t allowed to keep in touch after the ordeal, so when Will sees Katie on TV, eight years later, he does everything he can now, to get in touch with her.

I love Will. He rescued Katie when he was fifteen, a little boy himself. He didn’t grow up in the best childhood and has his own scars to heal from too. You see, Will is the son of the man who kidnapped Katie.

Wow, didn’t see that coming right? I’ve never read anything like this plot and I am instantly hooked. So many things run through my mine, like how does Will feel towards Katie and how does Katie feel about Will? Why didn’t they keep in touch throughout the years? Even though Will is the son, Katie doesn’t blame him for anything, he’s her Hero.

The story flips back to the past and present throughout the book. For those of you who do not like flashbacks, I promise you, these are worth reading. I hate flashbacks, but there was something about Katie and Will’s past I needed to know what happened, what led up to the kidnapping, rescue and after.

When Will finally finds Katie and tries to reach out to her, he doesn’t let her know he’s Will. He uses his new name, Ethan, the name he changed to after the incident. I totally understand why Ethan didn’t want to introduce himself to Katie as Will. There are too many old wounds and I loved reading about Ethan and Katie getting to know each other.

The thing I love so much about this book was the flow. I loved the flashbacks and I love the emotions Monica Murphy made me feel. Katie is so broken and Ethan is the guy to fix her.

It’s a beautiful romantic story about good, bad, pain and healing. I loved it.

An ARC was provided

Never Tear Us Apart AMAZON
Never Let You AMAZON TBR May 3

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was written so amazingly I couldn't put it down. The subject matter made me go outside my box and I read some parts with a chaser of maalox and emetrol !!!!! I highly recommend that you read the authors note and plan accordingly. Grab some Kleenex, some medication for nausea and queasy stomach and read at your own risk with an open heart and mind ❤️

[Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quick review for a somewhat quick read. To be honest, coming out of reading Monica Murphy's "Never Tear Us Apart" - I feel emotionally manipulated for the absolutely wrong reasons. This is a story on a very tough subject matter with quite a bit of emotion behind it. I knew this even going into the book and was prepared for the gravity of it. I don't fault the story for the intentions behind it or even for delving into the lives of two very flawed characters who underwent a tragic experience in their teenage years (well, technically since Katie was 12, she was pre-teen, so there's that notation to make).

"Never Tear Us Apart" comes across as being very underwhelming for the way it presents a very palpable and serious subject matter. The story revolves around the experiences of Katie and Ethan, in both present and past considerations. Katie was kidnapped and repeatedly raped/abused over the course of three days by a man who took her from a nearby amusement park. Will was the boy who ended up saving Katie's life - from the brute of a man that was his father. Will also suffered under his father's brutality. The two of them share a bond that was fleeting in their former years, but were separated until their young adult years. Will's changed his name (Ethan) and identity hoping to distance himself away from his past - particularly from his father's shadow and his actions. Katie struggles to come to terms with what happened to her and to move on - first starting with a revealing public interview (which didn't go as expected) but then having Katie make attempts to come to terms with her broken family and move forward in reaching a sense of "normal." Lo and behold, Ethan sees Katie's interview, decides to "stalk" her (and I'm quoting his words here. He repeatedly says this through the novel and makes an acknowledgement of his wrong actions, but that doesn't make the situation any better) and tries to develop a relationship with her. Katie, not knowing who Ethan is, is lead to believe that a guy *finally* notices her and that she can take steps towards leading a normal life.

Unfortunately, it doesn't pan out as well as either of them would like, despite more lighthearted moments.

I think my biggest disappointment in the novel was how mediocre the presentation of these events came across. The first issue lies in the constantly hopping timeline. The story's already told in dual perspectives, which would be enough on its own, but it's told between past and present as well, so there's a trade between four different sections that the reader has to keep up with. To me, that was too much, especially when there wasn't a lot of room to know where those transitions would lead at times. The second was the sheer amount of repetitious phrasing that occurred in this novel. I even noticed it in the audiobook version, which made me cringe. The constant referencing to Ethan saying his actions were stalkerish and "messed up", the constant references of Katie being unable to "touch a man" or "dress up for a man". Some of it might've been fine to briefly highlight the contradiction in their actions versus circumstances, but since it was constantly cited back and forth through several chapters and between scenes, I felt like the editing in this novel was not well done, and it took far more narrative space than it should have even with the context of the novel being at the forefront. I also had problems with Katie constantly hinging her recovery on "finding a man". Her internal struggle is palpable regarding her abduction and rape - I'm not critiquing that, but this novel -instead of taking the matter seriously and in a mature way - goes the route of emotionally milking the reader's sentiments and hinging Katie's recovery on her relationship with Ethan. Ethan - our supposed swoon-worthy hero - is emotionally manipulative and possessive, pretty much like so many New Adult heroes that are already out there and tied with this type of story. And this kind of presentation gets old really quickly because it doesn't feel genuine with the context of the story, rather more focused on the relationship/romantic drama than anything else.

This measure saddens me, but I'll say that the ending - cliffhanger as it was - panned out about how I expected to and at least has Katie calling out Ethan on his B.S. Now, this is a duology as far as a series goes, and I have the ARC to the second book, so I'll be reading that to see what happens. But this really could've been a better experience than what it was if only the method with which it was told were more evened out and the narrative had been less on forcing the emotional conflicts and rather genuinely giving them more weight than just pushing them along for the sake of the love story/connection between the characters. It was really hard to believe the relationship between Ethan and Katie because of how their relationship was presented/structured.

For this reason, I really didn't care for this novel much. But I did like the audiobook narration, so it gets 1.5 stars from me. I'll be reading the second book to see if it improves.

Overall score: 1.5/5 stars.

[The Hopeless Romantics Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review: Surj

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHopelessR...
TSU: http://www.tsu.co/HopelessRomantics
Blog: http://thehopelessromanticsbookblog.b...

"Never Tear us Apart" was my first experience of a novel by Monica Murphy and my oh my, what an explosive way to pop my cherry. This was such a powerful, emotional, heart felt story about survival first and foremost and secondly about love... that thing we all need, that thing we all crave but often fear keeps us from reaching out and grasping it, even when it's there within touching distance. Katie and Ethan's story was definitely a unique one and with a synopsis like that, this book was one I just had to read.

"I want to live. I'd rather be dead. I want to be strong. It's so much easier to be weak. I want to confront my fears and face them head on. I want to run and pretend I don't exist."

Despite the blurb kind of telling the reader the direction the story would take and more or less giving us the start and end points for this book, it was everything in-between that had my pulse soaring. I loved the way Katie and Ethan's story was told. Chapters from the past and present (not always chronological order) and from both POV could have made this book a jumbled mess but instead it worked and worked really well. Everything fit so seamlessly together, making the story flow perfectly in a way that really helped me put all the pieces of the puzzle together but at the same time, left me craving more. And the pace of the book... it was just right. This was a complex story that was not to be rushed but listened to at the story teller's own pace and Monica Murphy got it down to a T.

She called me her guardian angel and though I denied it, deep down inside, it felt good, her calling me that. Thinking of me in a good way. A positive way.

As much as this book was about survival, it was marred by lies, deceit and betrayal which seaped into the very marrow of Katie and Ethan's journey to finding their HEA. Every ounce of hope that came my way was tainted by the fact that never in a million years could this end in a good way, regardless of motives and intentions. Hurt, pain and anguish were never far from my mind as I watched a beautiful connection form between the couple. The more things looked like they were on the up however, the more my heart hurt at the devastation that lay ahead, that sense of foreboding never far away.

Ethan's character broke my heart. Despite a childhood that made for painful reading, he had grown into a fine young man and I could see that he was only trying to do good. He was only trying to right the wrongs of the man who had brought him into this world but when the foundations of a relationship are not built on truth, it could only lead to no good. Ethan was so conflicted and so many times I could see he tried to do the right thing but the connection this couple had shared was just too strong for him to walk away.

Katie Watts. Pretty. Blond. Innocent. Sweet and trusting and needing me so damn bad. She was the one I kept chasing like a drug. She was the one I could never have.

Katie's character had been through so much and at such a young age and it was difficult not to be affected by not only her past but also her present. She was struggling with life, struggling to live and move forward and all she wanted was to be normal, do normal things any twenty one year old would do. Unfortunately the events from the past were never far from her thoughts, fear a constant in everything she did. Katie deserved happiness and I really wanted Ethan to be a part of that for her.

"Never Tear us Apart" was a brilliant first book in this duology and I cannot wait to see how everything plays out. The bitterness of the past was perfectly balanced with the sweetness of the present, giving me a love story that I was whole heartedly rooting for. Roll on 3rd May 2016 for "Never let you Go" because I'm desperate to see how this all ends.

I rated "Never tear us Apart" ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[bookspumpkin · Rating 3 out of 5]

EDIT: Doch 2,5 und nicht 3,5 Sterne
Habe nochmal darüber nachgedacht und bin zu dem Entschluss gekommen, dass es nur 2,5 Sterne verdient hat.
Wäre die Geschichte nur aus Katies Sicht geschrieben worden hätte es mir wahrscheinlich besser gefallen, aber Ethans Sicht hat das Buch zerstört. Leider leider.

[Bj · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 "Post Traumatic Unbreakable Bonds" Stars for the story and narration!

A connection built out of tragedy. They say we come together as a community at times of deep tragedy and are most likely to form attachments to others during emergency situations. Monica Murphy explores this concept on a more personal level in Never Tear Us Apart.

However, please note that the background of this story is quite horrific and shocking, and involves the kidnapping and rape of a 12-year old girl (some of which is retold in laying the setting for this story). Therefore this story is not suitable for everyone. Moreover, deception plays a large role in the development of the relationship between the hero and heroine, leaving the listener to wonder where love ends and obsession begins. Perhaps genetics will not be defied. Is the hero truly a savior or just another monster?

Due to these factors, lovers of dark, angst-filled romances will be the most pulled into and gratified by Never Tear Us Apart. Additionally, please note that this story ends in a cliffhanger. So if you want the whole story, you will need to also commit to reading or listening to Never Let You Go which is scheduled to be released in May 2016.

A television interview is all it took for Ethan's interest to be rekindled for Katie Watts. He had saved her once--from the same demented and twisted man who had victimized him--his father. But then try though he might, he was unable to remain in contact with Katie. Instead, he was shuffled off to a foster home, where he endured a different and less severe form of abuse, while Katie returned home to try to salvage some sort of a normal life.

So now that he has been given a second chance, he is determined as ever to make sure that Katie is truly safe. He begins to accomplish this when he successfully tracks her down, and begins keeping tabs on her. But then when her safety is threatened yet again, he is forced to come out of the shadows. Except after a number of years, she doesn't recognize the strong, large man he has become, and the assumption of a new name and identity further solidifies his detachment from his former life. Even as time passes, too afraid to lose their budding friendship and possibly more, Ethan doesn't reveal his true identity. But can two souls that have been damaged in their own ways, by one horrific monster, possibly stand a chance at any form of a HEA, especially once the truth is revealed?

Erin Spencer and Andrew Eiden render a talented performance in Never Tear Us Apart. Narrating in the standard new adult fashion, Ms. Spencer performs the chapters that are told in Katie's point of view, and Mr. Eiden, the ones told in Ethan's. This style works well to keep the disparate view points separate and self-contained.

Moreover, both Ms. Spencer and Mr. Eiden are able to produce believable male and female characterizations for the various characters in the story which heightened my enjoyment of the story as I didn't have to rely on dialogue tags. The pacing of the delivery was also well matched with the tempo of the story. Increasing in speed and urgency at crucial points in the story and slowing down to a more leisurely pace in certain of the introspective moments. The emotion was also convincingly portrayed by Ms. Spencer and Mr. Eiden.

All in all, Never Tear Us Apart was an intriguing start to Katie's and Ethan's story. I can't wait to hear how this story ends in Never Let You Go!

Grades/Ratings:
Narration: 4.0
Book Content: 4.0
Publisher: Blackstone Audio

Title: Never Tear Us Apart
Author: Monica Murphy
Narrator: Erin Spencer and Andrew Eiden
Unabridged Length: 11 hours and 20 minutes
Genre: Contemporary Romance

Source: A big thank you to Audiobook Jukebox for providing this review copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never Tear Us Apart is heartbreak. Start to finish. But it’s a beautiful kind of heartbreak. It’s the kind of heartbreak that keeps you flipping pages, holding your breath and on the verge of tears. All in the hopes that what you know is going to happen deep down in the darkest parts of your heart, will actually all work out and these characters you’ve come to care about will heal and love and live.

…

It’s not that easy of a story though. Not by a long shot. There is no easy win, no simple happy ever after. There can’t be. It’s going to take time and struggle. Why? Well…

Because she’s the victim of a childhood kidnap and rape. He’s the son of the man who perpetrated the crimes.

The fact that Murphy could weave a story that makes you see these two as true soul mates even after coming out of such terrible circumstances, is a feat in itself. It’s exactly what I felt. These two belong together. Again, it’s just not that easy though. There is so much to overcome. Oh man, do I need them to overcome it all!

Katie is a survivor, beneath it all, she truly is. Just the act of surviving is, perhaps, the easy part though. Living is what’s hard. How do you trust? How do you love? How do you even do the little things, like leaving the house at all, without the fear? You don’t. Not really. I so easily felt Katie’s struggle and empathized with her plight and her dark thoughts.

Will/Ethan’s story is equally understandable. They are both so wrapped up in a horrific past that neither chose for themselves and they don’t know how to untangle the ties of it that bind them. Yet, Murphy gives little moments that show you they could with the help of each other, and those moments were perfect.

I lived and breathed this book and am anxiously awaiting the next!

[Nancy❤The❤Bookaholic · Rating 5 out of 5]

~~5 HE WAS HER SAVIOUR HEARTS~~



This book was incredible. The subject matter is very tough and emotional. As I was reading, I saw this all playing out like a movie. That's when you know you've come across a GREAT author that knows how to write and capture her readers attention and keep their attention from start to finish.

Be warned that this book has a MAJOR cliffhanger. I'm anxious to get my hands on the next book. Maybe the ARC Fairy will pay me a visit and grant me an advance copy. **crossing fingers** This isn't like any of Monica's other books. This one touches subject matters that you don't usually find in Monica's book. I can definitely see this turning into a movie. I know I'd watch it if it did.

I would've like a time gap to be filled in because I'm left wondering. You don't find out what happened to Katie and Will between the time Katie gets rescued and the present. Eight years goes by and I'm curious how they got to where they are now.

I'm not going to dissect this book because I could easily unintentionally give out spoilers. The characters are superb. The storyline is Grade A. I will say that I do appreciate Monica leaving out the gory detail of the attack. I'm thankful to have been able to receive an advance readers copy from Netgally in exchange for an honest review.

[Paula · Rating 2 out of 5]

(Edited: I added some more thoughts and changed my rating after further thinking about this book.)

2 stars

This book had been on my radar for a while. I was drawn in like a moth to a flame by the blurb. I really liked the idea of reading about a girl who was kidnapped, then falls for the kidnapper's son. What happens to the heroine was sad and tragic, but the kidnapping part of the story was glossed over, making the story less dark than I thought it would be. While I didn't care this book didn't go too far into the dark side, I had other issues that I couldn't get pass.

I wanted to like this book. I really did. In the beginning, I was engrossed by Katie and Ethan's story, but then it started to go downhill by the 30% mark. The characters stayed in their head too much. And I grew impatient and annoyed with Ethan keeping his secret from Katie for so long. Plus, I got whiplash with the way the story kept switching from the past to present. I do like a story that goes back and forth but the way the flashbacks flowed made the story feel choppy and slooooow. I needed more from this story, more romance. Something MORE but I can't put my finger on it.

This book didn't work for me. And I really don't care enough about the story to continue the story.

[Brit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Advance Readers Copy (ARC) provided for my blog for an honest review from the publisher Bantam (Random House).

Title: Never Tear Us Apart
Series: Never Tear Us Apart, #1
Author: Monica Murphy
Source: eARC
Pages: 416
Genre: Dark Contemporary
Age Group: New Adult
Characters: Katie Watts, Ethan
Point of View: Dual (Past to Present)
Happily Ever After: Cliffhanger
Release Date: January 5th, 2016
Date Read: January 4th, 2016
Overall Rating: 4.5 Stars



Gah! This novel made me feel so much. The only novel before this that made me sob all over the place was The Fault in our Stars. I mean I truly felt connected to the character Katie every time I read her point of view I just couldn't keep the tears out of my eyes, I believe this is the one book I can truly say that I have the strongest connection with itself. I must say the author Monica Murphy out did herself with this novel. This has became my top favorite of the authors work.

This novel was raw and so emotional that it was extraordinary and consumed my whole day. Like any other Monica Murphy novel you just have to devour this in one sitting. I absolutely loved the writing in this novel. I enjoyed that the author wrote it from past and present dual point of views it really opens up the story and the depth of it. And I honestly can't wait for the next book.

I'm not sure I will not stop thinking about this novel for the next couple months. It permanently embedded itself into me. The story, the characters, the feelings. It's so hard to let this story go.

[sternensaaleinsamkeit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Viel Aufmerksamkeit kam diesem Buch in letzter Zeit entgegen - die einen lieben es, die anderen hassen es. Ich persönlich muss sagen, dass ich mich genau in der Mitte aufhalte. Es war durchaus ein Buch, das man gut lesen kann, jedoch war es auch nichts Spektakuläres, das ich für immer im Hinterkopf behalten werde.

Als ich das Buch begonnen habe, und das ist jetzt mittlerweile gut eineinhalb Monate her, durchlief mich erstmal ein ziemlich großer Schock. Ich hätte dem Klappentext nach mit einer Stalker-Geschichte gerechnet, die ja um Gottes Willen schon sehr krass gewesen wäre. Worum sich dieses Buch dreht, ist aber sogar noch tausendmal härter, krasser und gewaltiger - die damalige Entführung und Vergewaltigung eines Kindes, das nun unsere Protagonistin der Geschichte ist. Ich denke, dies sollte man wissen, bevor man das Buch liest, deshalb fand ich es auch ein wenig schade, dass sich die Anmerkungen der Autorin, in der sie direkt darauf aufmerksam macht, sogar davor warnt, erst auf den letzten Seiten befinden. Ebenso habe ich erst nach dem Beenden des Buches die Playlist zur Geschichte gefunden, die sich auch auf der letzten Seite befindet, und das fand ich ebenfalls mehr als schade, denn jetzt, wo ich schon mit der Geschichte fertig bin, muss ich auch nicht mehr anfangen, mir die Playlist anzuhören.

Durch dieses großen Schocker, der uns gleich am Anfang des Buches begegnet, hat sich mir erstmal der Magen umgedreht und das Buch ist für lange Zeit ungelesen auf meinen Nachtschrank gewandert. Als ich dann aber wieder dazu griff, konnte ich kaum aufhören zu lesen. Diese Geschichte um Katherine und Ethan, die eben durch ihre schlimme Vergangenheit auf ewig verbunden, aber auch gebrandmarkt sind, macht total süchtig. Man möchte immer und immer weiterlesen und unbedingt wissen, wohin sich diese Geschichte entwickelt, auch wenn ich hier nochmal bemerken möchte, dass, wo die Geschichte anfangs sehr erbarmungslos startet, sich dann doch eher langsam entwickelt. Im Nachhinein muss ich aber sagen, dass ich zumindest die letzten Ereignisse, und vor allem den Cliffhanger, im Voraus eins zu eins genauso hätte vorhersagen können. An dieser Stelle hätte ich mir gern noch einen größeren Wow-Effekt gewünscht.

Nichtsdestotrotz hat die Autorin die Geschichte bis zu dieser Stelle hin wunderbar geschrieben. Sie hat in meinen Augen einen ganz besonderen, fast schon poetischen Schreibstil, der nicht ausdrucksstärker und gefühlvoller hätte sein können. Als ebenso gelungen empfand ich die ganze Erzählweise, nach der die Geschichte aufgezogen wurde, und zwar in einem Wechsel der Perspektiven der Protagonisten und bei diesen jeweils nochmal in einem Sprung zwischen Vergangenheit und Gegenwart, all dies natürlich aus dem Erzähler der ersten Person. Monica Murphy schafft es zusätzlich unglaublich gut, Atmosphären und Gefühle in Worte zu fassen und einzufangen, was auch bewirkt, dass einem die Geschichte schon sehr nahe geht und man die Anziehung der Protagonisten förmlich auf der Haut prickeln spürt.

Dies hat mich überrascht, denn wirklich gemocht habe ich unsere Protagonisten nicht, was sich bei Katherine noch in ihrer von der Vergangenheit geformten Persönlichkeit erklärt hat. Ethan jedoch wirkte anfangs noch absolut sympathisch, aber im Laufe der Geschichte wurden mir seine Gedanken, Gefühle und vor allem seine Handlungen immer abstruser und unsympathischer.
Insgesamt muss man der Autorin aber lassen, dass sie sehr authentische und dreidimensionale Charaktere geformt hat, sogar wenn man sich Nebencharaktere wie das Verhalten von Katherines verstorbenem Vater anschaut. Besonders gut umgesetzt war auch der Wechsel zwischen den Mentalitäten unserer Charaktere im jüngeren und nun erwachseneren Alter, was das Lesen der Geschichte einfach noch ein Stückchen realer macht. An der ein oder anderen Stelle hätte ich mir aber einfach noch etwas mehr Alltägliches im Leben von Katie und Ethan gewünscht, um die beiden mehr ins Herz schließen und liebgewinnen zu können, da das bei mir wie gesagt größtenteils ausgeblieben ist. Allgemein werden nämlich fast ausschließlich, Erlebnisse oder eben Gedanken geschildert, die sich auf die beiden als Paar beziehen, und dies mag ich allgemein nicht so ganz. Mir ist es lieber, wenn wir die Protagonisten auch unabhängig voneinander kennenlernen können, wie zum Beispiel Tessa und Hardin in After oder auch Sage und Luca in Berühre mich. Nicht..
Insgesamt umfasst das Buch wirklich ausführliche innere Monologe, was bei diesem Thema und den Handlungen der Charaktere bitter nötig ist. Daher sollte man wahrscheinlich schon ein Typ sein, der das mag, um die Geschichte wirklich mögen zu können.

Ein Punkt, der mich wirklich aufgeregt und genervt hat und wahrscheinlich mit der Übersetzung gekommen ist, ist die Anrede des Lesers, aber auch der beiden Protagonisten in der Sie-Form. Auch wenn die Charaktere aufgrund ihrer Erfahrungen wahrscheinlich um einiges reifer sind als andere Leute ihres Alters, sind sie doch noch zarte 21 und 23 Jahre alt, und dass sich Leute dieses Alters siezen, bis sie miteinander intimer werden, ist einfach absolut unrealistisch - das habe ich in meinem Leben noch nicht erlebt. Ich habe absolut nicht verstanden, was der Übersetzer sich an dieser Stelle gedacht hat, und fast noch schlimmer fand ich die schon genannte Anrede des Lesers mit Sie an Stellen, die im Englischen wahrscheinlich "You know what I mean" waren und im Deutschen dann "Sie wissen, was ich meine" wurden. Furchtbar! Einfach furchtbar!
Das gibt einem ein unglaublich schreckliches Gefühl der Distanz zwischen dem Leser, den Protagonisten und dem Geschehen.

Um diese Rezension nun aber ein bisschen positiver zum Ende zu bringen, werfen wir noch einen Blick auf das anbetungswürdige Cover. Ich liebe es und ärgere mich so sehr, dass meine Kamera nich fähig ist, die Glanzeffekte im Bild einzufangen. Es ist ein absoluter Augenschmaus, auch wenn kein direkter Zusammenhang zum Inhalt besteht und das englische Original in der Hinsicht wahrscheinlich passender ist. Sehr gelungen!

Fazit:
Vorm Lesen des Buches sollte man sich durchaus im Klaren sein, womit sich das Buch befasst, und dass das nicht ganz so einfach zu verdauen ist. Insgesamt konnte mich das Buch bis auf ein paar Makeln sehr von sich überzeugen, vor allem weil die Autorin ein wirkliches Talent hat, was das Schreiben angeht. Ich weiß noch nicht genau, ob ich diese Reihe hier weiterlesen werde, aber an anderen (vor allem leichteren!) Büchern von Monica Murphy werde ich mich auf jeden Fall versuchen.

3,5 von 5 Sternen

[Ivy Deluca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full review also posted at http://afterdarkbooklovers.com/2016/0...

Quite the change from what I’ve read before : The books that I’ve read by Ms. Murphy’s before this have been lighter contemporary fare, so needless to say, between the beautiful cover and the intriguing premise (young woman recovers from horrible kidnapping/abuse and then falls for kidnapper’s son), I couldn’t help but want to see what could come of this. What I got was a sad and tragic story filled with strong, resilient characters like Katie and Will. This takes its time to unfold and I thought that Ms. Murphy handled a story with alot of potential triggers for readers in as sensitive a way as possible.

Understandable slow burn : There’s a solid connection between Katie and Will from the very beginning, and their chemistry is good. Katie’s a survivor and fighting to get her life back, and dealing with it in a realistic manner. Will’s a natural protector and I loved his desire to be there for her, even when it would be easier to walk away. So, I think it worked that their physical relationship takes time to build and I was good to go along for that ride.

There’s lots of flashing : Katie and Will’s story unfolds with alternating flashbacks, interspersed with present day chapters. It’s a style that’s not to everyone’s taste, but I think it worked, for the most part. It takes a bit to get into the flow, but it helped with getting to know the characters better and not hitting the reader right in the face with the gruesome details of Katie’s kidnapping and Will’s upbringing. To have that opportunity to get to know how Katie and Will survived the aftermath, really gave me the chance to get to know them individually and root for them to find their way to each other.

Angst turned up to 11 : You know that top level angst, where you just know it’s all going to hell in a handbasket but you’re powerless to stop it? That is the feeling I had throughout this read. Here’s the point where I’m unsure - it’s a cliffhanger. Sigh. This is a difficult setup to begin with, and then Ms. Murphy adds another level of pain with questionable choices by Ethan. As if this isn’t enough, there’s a crucial bit of obliviousness necessary by Katie to make it all work. I’m not sure I agree with it, but since this is a duology (with the second part coming this spring, I’ll withhold final judgment until I get to read that part.


Intense, sad and paced in a realistic way, this is a marked departure from earlier books I’ve read of Ms. Murphy’s - and this is not a bad thing. While cliffhangers will never be my favorite, taking things slow considering Katie and Will's past makes sense. Also, I need to know how it ends. If you like cliffhangers and difficult premises, I’d say check it out.

**ARC provided by publisher via netgalley for review**

[Elle G. Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published: 2016

:: 4 Pretty Little Stars ::

I found this book to be very interesting, slightly dark, and overall emotional. Not in the emotional way that you’re going to cry your whole way though the book, but emotional in the sense that you gain these deep feelings of sympathy for the heroine. When you read the blurb for this book your lead to believe it is a forbidden romance. However, I beg to differ because when I think of forbidden romances I see the stories to be more along the lines of inner-family romances and student teachers. This is definitely not the case for this story but I suppose I can understand where the author is coming from as the hero of this story is someone from the heroines past who essentially lies his way into her life. Had she known who he was she may not have decided to date him… Perhaps this is where the forbidden touch comes from. Anyway, I enjoyed this book. I read it in a day- its fast paced for a 380-page book, and keeps you intrigued the entire time your reading. While not my all-time favorite, it is one of those books that I would highly recommend to other readers because it is fairly unique and touching. Readers need to be warned that it does end in a cliffhanger BUT the second book is out now (it’s called Never Let You Go, if you’re not familiar with the series).

I am not going to give away the gist of the plot because I feel like if I do that I will ruin the entire story for everyone. But I will say that there are a lot of moving parts within it. The characters will face many obstacles for their love story, loyalties will be tested and destroyed, emotional circumstances are the highlight for both of the characters’ lives as they are both extremely damaged (some more than others), and readers may question the motives of the hero. There were many times throughout the story that I was struggling with trying to understand the hero, but I suppose I can understand his position though it all. For this reason, I gave this story 4 stars.

Overall, I did enjoy this story. I am now emotionally invested in it and I have the strong need to pick up book two to see that happens. If you haven’t read the story and it sounds interesting to you (something you would like) than I recommend it. Please be aware thought that it does deal with some dark aspects, but not in a way that will gross out or turn readers off. In all honestly, I feel like the story is told in a delicate and beautiful way. It is not offensive in the slightest! If you’re planning to read this one, I hope you enjoy it 

[Mandy]

DNF- not because of bad writing or it being a bad story- it's just too much for me. Actually, the writing might be too good because this was way too emotional for me to read and it gave me a stomachache from stress. I thought I could handle the whole child kidnapping thing but I was wrong. It's just too dark for me. I'd love to come back to this someday when I think I can handle it.