Heroine: A Visceral YA Novel About a Softball Star's Painkiller Addiction

by Mindy McGinnis

A captivating and powerful exploration of the opioid crisis—the deadliest drug epidemic in American history—through the eyes of a college-bound softball star. Edgar Award-winning author Mindy McGinnis delivers a visceral and necessary novel about addiction, family, friendship, and hope.

When a car crash sidelines Mickey just before softball season, she has to find a way to hold on to her spot as the catcher for a team expected to make a historic tournament run. Behind the plate is the only place she’s ever felt comfortable, and the painkillers she’s been prescribed can help her get there.

The pills do more than take away pain; they make her feel good.

With a new circle of friends—fellow injured athletes, others with just time to kill—Mickey finds peaceful acceptance, and people with whom words come easily, even if it is just the pills loosening her tongue.

But as the pressure to be Mickey Catalan heightens, her need increases, and it becomes less about pain and more about want, something that could send her spiraling out of control.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook, Mental Health, Sports

421 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 12, 2019

About the author

Mindy McGinnis is an Edgar Award-winning novelist who writes across multiple genres, including post-apocalyptic, historical, thriller, contemporary, mystery, and fantasy.

While her settings may change, you can always count on Mindy’s books to deliver grit, truth, and an unflinching look at humanity and the world around us.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me.

This book left me feeling hollow. By this I mean that it hit me so hard in so many different ways that I now feel emptied out. Saying it is "sad" is not enough. "Horrifying" is closer to the truth, but that seems too sensational.

When I wake up, all my friends are dead.

Heroine starts with ^this arresting sentence that grabbed my attention and made my jaw drop. Then it jumps back in time. The following build-up to the horror you know is coming is a quiet, introspective slippery slope. It's about a girl with a bright future, an accident, a harmless prescription that became not enough, just one more, denial, just two more, lying, more and more, stealing. All building up to the inevitable climax.

The book comes with a trigger warning and recovering addicts should heed it. There are details about needles and the process of drug use, but also - and I think this is the most emotionally-challenging thing of all - a close look at the mental place Mickey finds herself in. It is very easy to understand how drugs become an attractive option to her, and how it escalates into an obsession, followed by lying to her family, her friends, and herself.

McGinnis doesn't go easy on us. She does not sugarcoat the horrible lengths Mickey will go to for her next fix. The author is neither finger-wagging in her attitude to drugs, nor simplistic in the portrayal of Mickey herself. Though I found Mickey a highly sympathetic character, you can also see how she alienates those around her through her actions.

I felt a little panicked as I followed Mickey on her downward spiral. This smart girl with a promising softball career ahead of her... seeing her life fall apart, piece by small piece, is terrifying. Her addiction steals her sense of morality, of right and wrong. The relief she feels over getting new pills eclipses any shame or guilt she might have otherwise felt.

I also really appreciated all the nuanced relationships in the book. Mickey is adopted and her adoptive parents are divorced after her father had an affair. Now he is having a baby with his new wife and this causes complications between them all, but I think it is done very well. I especially liked the strange and begrudging mutual respect that grows between Mickey's mom and her dad's new wife, Devra. The friendships that are made and the ones that fall apart over the course of the novel are complex and feel real, too.

Also, I'd just like to say that I really like how McGinnis constantly tries new things with her writing. She doesn't stick to trends, but instead writes unique and interesting stories. Few authors do this. Patrick Ness is another one. Of course this means her books can be hit and miss for me, but I really appreciate the attempt to go somewhere new.

I highly recommend Heroine for contemporary fans who are in a good mental place.

Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four addicted, compelling, tragic stars!
Mindy McGinnis is one of the most amazing writers and storyteller, grabs your heart, steals a huge Parton it by creating her realistic, flawed, natural characters. As soon as you take back your heart, you feel like so many things, especially your perceptions about life, family, friends already change with it.

The first few pages of the book like a ticking bomb about to explode! So you start to turn pages quickly to reach the spot at the beginning.

At this book our heroine Mickey Catalan is a successful softball player. Playing is her life, her future, team members are her only friends so when you are at the risk of losing the thing that defines you perfectly, you do whatever it takes to keep it! When you think like that everything makes sense, right! But it isn’t!
Because after her traffic accident, Mickey starts suffering from too many surgeries , her leg hurts! Every part of her body starts to betray her! So she finds the most harmful way to protect herself not to suffer more . She becomes a drug addict! Pills help her ease her inner psychological and physical pain,endure her parental issues, numbs her feelings, her aching leg. She does whatever it takes to hold her position at her team even it results with losing herself , selling her soul, happiness, her future to the drugs!!

Mickey’s journey to the dark roads of her self destruction takes her so many dangerous places. McGinnis did a perfect job by telling her journey so objectively, you cannot judge her , despise or detest her. She is not flawless, she made so many bad choices and she knows how to differentiate right and wrong but she just choses the bad things and eventually she pays for her mistakes.

This is not heart and flowers kinda book! It’s terrifying, depressing and blood freezing one, so this is not for everyone! If you’re ready to take a dark journey, face with the addiction issue with a fresh perspective and also ready to put aside your biased opinions about the drug addicts, this may be the right choice!

At least, the bomb that I was expected to explode at the end was dismantled! Thanks to the writer, my heart rates turned to the normal. 😃

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was heavy, but SO good. Wow.

TW: extremely realistic & descriptive drug use (anyone recovering from addiction should proceed with caution)

[Kai Spellmeier]

"When I wake up, all my friends are dead."

This book is pain. You know what you're in for right from the start, the prologue makes sure of that. It all starts with pain medication after an accident. From there on, you will watch the main character bury herself in a grave of pills, needles, lies and betrayal, so deep she might never get out. 95% of the book is a downward spiral. And the things is, you just don't know if she can dig herself out again. If you have read a McGinnis novel before, you know it's entirely possible that the ending will only mean more pain. Or death. Both are legitimate possibilities.

I'll be honest here: this is my least favourite of Mindy's books and I have a pretty good theory why that's so. I blame Mickey, the main character. She is a distant person, someone who only ever seems to know who she is when she is on the field playing softball - or when she is using. But when she isn't, she is a quiet person who doesn't know what to say or how to behave. Which I usually don't mind. Just because you're not an outgoing person, it doesn't mean you have nothing to say. But you see the world through Mickey's eyes and it all feels distant and too far away.

I only really enjoyed the parts of the book where Mickey hangs out with her best friend, when the plot actually moves forward, when things are happening. Because that's the thing, nothing much happened apart from Mickey falling deeper and deeper into her drug addiction. Of course, that's the whole point of the book: to depict the reality of someone who relies on drugs, who becomes an addict, who doesn't (want to) see another way out. (This, of course, is not applicable to everyone. It only shows an example of what addiction can look like.) But that doesn't mean that the book has to be so devoid of colour. Because Mindy McGinnis can write breathtaking stories, she can construct the most fascinating characters. It showed in the prologue, it showed in the first few chapters, it showed in the last few chapters. But the pages in between couldn't hook me as much.

I also need to add that I struggled to read some parts of the book, especially those that show the drug use in close detail. I just hate talk about needles and veins - it makes me feel sick. But that doesn't have any influence on my rating, I simply can't handle these things very well.

My review shouldn't discourage you, though. If the blurb speaks to you and if you want to know more, read it. It's a tough book, and I'm sure it took a lot of effort to write it. I'm already anxiously waiting for Mindy's next book. I can't wait to hear what she's got up her sleeve.

Find more of my books on Instagram

[Trina · Rating 5 out of 5]

4/14/19 - Upped my rating to 5 stars (from 4) because of how much this has stuck with me in the months since I read it. It's completely informed my perception of addiction portrayal in everything I've read since, and so far it's standing out as a favorite of the year.
------------------------------

This was uncomfortable to read and I hated what was happening at times, but I have been discussing this book with people I know who with addiction recovery, which has really helped me process my feelings and form a deep respect for this book. It portrays addiction and withdrawal brutally, but without reducing the character to a stereotype. I believe the intent is to humanize people with substance use disorders to people unfamiliar with addiction.

Aside from how it handles the topic, I also really enjoyed the flow of the writing. I've read all of Mindy's books and while this isn't my favorite story, this has my favorite writing of her 3 contemporaries so far. It's easy to read and Mickey is a well developed character and you can really empathize with her hopes and worries.

tw: The book starts with this warning: "This book contains realistic depictions of opioid use. Recovered and recovering addicts should proceed with caution." PLEASE heed this warning. There is detailed use of pills, snorting, and needles. The drugs shown are Oxy and heroin. There is a car accident, injury, and brief hospitalization. There is also quite a bit of page time given to discussing poop, which felt appropriate due to the portrayal of withdrawal, but I know that's a squeamish thing for some.

*An ARC was provided to me by the publisher. My opinions are my own.*

[karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

fulfilling my 2021 goal to read one book each month by an author i love that i haven’t gotten around to reading yet

this is a very visceral and emotionally wrenching story, which is the tone i've come to expect from mcginnis, even though all of the books i've read by her so far have been wildly different in terms of subject matter and her approach to her subject matter.

Heroine is, thematically, a straightforward contemporary YA problem novel: a high-performing high school athlete is severely injured in a car accident and becomes addicted to prescription painkillers. however, its opening line: When I wake up, all my friends are dead is the kind of grim gutpunch that mcginnis excels at deploying.

none of what happens, plotwise, is unexpected in this kind of cautionary addiction tale: the slippery slope of a girl abusing drugs, deluding herself that she's got it all under control even as she begins crossing so many lines; lying and stealing and compromising her relationships with her friends and family while she descends deeper into addiction and graduates from oxy to heroin.

it's the way that mcginnis explores this generic theme that elevates it into something noteworthy; the uncomfortable immersion into mickey's mind as she becomes more dependent on drugs, gradually unmooring herself from her former life and its support system until she has essentially isolated herself in her addiction.

in a town where high school sports are a very big deal, mickey is as hometown-famous for her athleticism as she is for her tough guy attitude. after the car accident (which pops her hip out of its socket like a barbie doll, exposing all the inside-stuff), mickey wants so badly to recover from her injuries in time to join her team for the upcoming season that she pops her prescribed oxy like candy, dulling the pain so she can get back to training. while this method works, and everyone is mightily impressed with how quickly she is 'recovering,' she soon runs out of her legit medication and has to scramble to get more in order to stay on target.

it's all very powerfully realized on the page—her impatience with her body as it struggles to heal, her justification that her drugtaking is for the good of the team, and, despite her awareness that there's an opioid epidemic killing local folks, her rationalization that what she's doing is only temporary, and she's not destined to become a statistic like those other people, even as she throws herself into her addiction with the same single-mindedness that enabled her to become an all-star catcher.

I admit to myself that I am a heroin user, while also updating in my mind what that actually means. I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me.

the most impressive tendril of this plot is the sly shift as mickey's self-medicating becomes more about how it makes her feel than how it manages her pain. she's always been formidable on the field, but she's never been good in social situations, and the unexpected side effect of the drugs is that they smooth away her social anxieties, giving her the confidence she's never experienced along with a false sense of invincibility.

the character work is excellent, and everyone feels authentic—the locker room banter between her teammates, mickey's complex family dynamics, the way she compartmentalizes her behaviors between her sports-friends and her drug-friends, and the widening gulf between her old and new priorities—everything reads horrifyingly real.

it's not as surprising and original as some of her other works, but it takes a been-there-done-that kind of plot and blows it out of the conventional waters with that trademark intensity that is mcginnis' superpower.

come to my blog!!

[Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not watch my friends die.
I did not leave their bodies cooling in a basement.
I am not an addict.

Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm doing it so that my teammates aren't exchanging worried looks when I limp past them in the hallway. Yes, I manage to tell myself as I sink my teeth into a bread stick, I'm not taking Oxy because it makes me feel good.
I'm taking it for other people.

This is a matter of taste.

This was marketed a bit as a suspense book and it really really isn't; it's more of a contemporary. At this point in my life, in terms of contemporary I look almost entirely for books I see as providing hope, some kind of catharsis and release. It is this, that for me, makes literature and television and movies and music so compelling: stories so worth coming back to, narrative so worth building my life around.

Heroine contains a release of tension, yes, but it does not occur until the very end, until lead character Mickey has spiraled so far into an opiate addiction it's almost impossible to find a way out. This is not inherently damning to a book's objective value, but to my ability to appreciate the book, it was a kill shot.

This book is the kind of thing I probably would have found compelling five years ago. Now, however, I found myself almost bored. This is a deeply important topic, but Go Ask Alice and every Ellen Hopkins book have already trod the ground of far-down spirals (albeit less well). I know how this story progresses and I know how this story ends - literally, given the prologue is the climactic scene. The character beats here in Mickey's life are compelling enough, but the spiral remains.

That is not to say there is no value in portraying the opioid crisis in a new way - as a result of prescription drugs. Every day in the United States, over 130 people die of opioid overdoses. After pharmaceutical companies in the late 1990s denied that opioid prescription could lead to addiction, prescription skyrocketed; when the opposite was later proved true, the damage had already been done. Approximately 80% of heroin users, even today, were first prescribed opioids. This is a real public health crisis and it's important to tackle.

And yet... I found myself wishing that the book were about the recovery process the end only suggests, about Mickey dealing with her issues with her parents and her stepmom and so many more. We know Mickey has issues, and Mindy McGinnis knows she has issues - that's not the problem. The problem is that the narrative is so focused on the downward spiral that it forgets to leave room for the healing, the catharsis. It is a twenty-page catharsis in exchange for 400 pages of drug abuse and three deaths. (This isn't a spoiler, as it's the opening scene.)

Mindy McGinnis is an utterly wonderful author in terms of actual style, in terms of crafting a good sentence and tension and conflict. I've already adored her books The Female of the Species and This Darkness Mine. It's just that this book, as a whole, lacks a lot of actual content beyond the slow fall into addiction. And while it makes for a fast, dark read that left me breathless - please don't get me wrong, I read this in two sittings - that's just not what I want to read anymore.

Blog | Goodreads | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube

[chan ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

reading my twitter followers' underrated faves

[Bookishrealm · Rating 5 out of 5]

2022 Rating: I don't know if I'll ever get tired of reading this book. It isn't an easy read in the least bit, but McGinnis truly has a gift for capturing the emotional roller-coaster that often goes hand in hand with addiction. This book would make a great selection for a book club. And it's one of those books that makes me want to read it again as soon as I finish it.

Oh goodness this book was powerful. It’s a true testament to the opioid crisis here in America and it proves that addiction doesn’t always look the way that we think it does. What I do know is that this book is going to stay with me for a while. My heart truly goes out to Mickey and her family. This book definitely doesn’t have a feel good tone or even a happy ending so if that’s what you’re looking for then stay away from this book. It’s real, it’s gritty and I felt her want and need in her addiction as I read her story. I’ll definitely be doing a full written review of this one. Trigger Warnings: Detailed description of drug use & it’s effects

[*TANYA* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whoa, this book was intense!!! I wasn’t feeling this book at first, I was ready to give up on it. But it grew on me, it’s addictive, no pun intended. How quickly things got out of hand, the desperation and callousness was surreal. A very unique, well written story, kudos to the author.

[Katie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

I've read three books by this author and once again, I am impressed with her writing talent. Addiction is a topic that has been explored in many fiction books, but yet after reading this book, I felt like it was covered it in a way that was unique but also very realistic. A worthwhile read for sure.

High school senior Mickey is determined to have a standout softball season this year. The better she plays, the more likely she will receive scholarship offers for college. But a car accident leaves her badly injured right before the start of the season. Mickey is determined to not miss a game and she needs to quickly get her body in shape. Physical therapy by itself isn't going to get her where she needs to be so she turns to painkillers.

Despite the fact the story is about a teenager with an addiction, for the most part I didn't feel like this was a heavy read and I actually think that is one of the strengths of the novel. Don't get me wrong, there are some emotional moments in the book, but I never felt overwhelmed by the story. It was straightforward and was a realistic portrayal of how easy it is to slip into addiction. When comparing it to other books I have read on the topic, this one managed to get all the main points across but in a way that was easier to mentally process. That's my opinion though as maybe other readers will find it to be a difficult read.

What was fascinating to me was Mickey became addicted to painkillers because she had goals and she wasn't going to let anything stand in her way. She wanted the ability to function like she did before the accident and painkillers were supposed to aid her in getting back to normal. The author took a unique approach as most stories would have focused on a teenager using painkillers only as a coping mechanism rather than trying to achieve something. I think as a society we tend to associate teenage drug use with only partying but in doing so you are forgetting about all the kids who are using things like painkillers just to get through life. The story hits close to home because you realize Mickey could be anyone you know.

Definitely recommend as a good book to show how easy it is to slip into drug addiction.

[hillary · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This wasn’t a favorite, but in the end it still hit me like a truck. Not everyone can write about very hard topics like Mindy McGinnis does. She just knows where and when to hit you. And she always leaves a mark.

Mom would blame herself for not seeing it. Dad would feel guilty for not being here to notice. [...] Coach would be done with me, since our school has a zero-tolerance drug policy. I imagine the harsh cutoff of Mom’s laughter when I tell her, the collapse of each face as they flood with disappointment.
Or I can reach for the bottle, knowing that one pill can fix it, restore my balance and put my skin back in the right place and realign my bones, my feet planted firmly on the ground in the morning. Those are my choices. I can derail the lives of everyone I care about, or I can take one white pill and make it all better.
When you think about it that way, it’s easy.

I empathized with the main character way too much. At the beginning I felt for her, as the doctor gave her the world’s worst prescription, then I disapproved of her increasingly wrong choices, but still I understood her. I was constantly worried that they would find her out, and scared about what that would mean for her softball career and college.

The escalation Mickey went through, from Oxy to Heroin, from believing she needed help for the pain and that she could stop at any moment to accepting she is an addict was amazingly done. It felt REAL. It was a scary and realistic depiction of an addict’s descent into obsession.

Except now, if I keep using it’s not because I’m fighting off an injury or for some noble self-sacrifice to keep the team going strong so Carolina can shine. If I keep using now, it’s because I want to.
And yeah, I want to. [...]
Because if I’m an addict I might as well go ahead and just be one.
Fuck it.

For sure this book was impactful. I’m sad it wasn’t a five stars in the end because it was too drawn out. It wasn’t boring, but 400 pages for this was too long, since it wasn’t an action-driven book. I am of this opinion especially after reading the end, which I think was too rushed compared to the rest. This could have possibly been a better book if those 100 pages in the middle of the book were actually at the end of the book. This might just be me, though. At the same time, I loved that the end was both bittersweet and hopeful for the future because it’s exactly what this story needed.

Since the book starts with the deaths of Mickey’s friends, I was also expecting that event to mean more. Mainly, I wished it had a bigger part in the book instead of being very close to the end. Nonetheless, it was still shocking, even if I knew it would happen eventually.

The author’s note at the end literally killed me. Knowing that she took inspiration from something that really happened to her made this entire story all the more real and upsetting. It’s weird that I don’t have a need to read more books about this topic now, but is it really?

Opioids treat pain, yes, but they also allow the user a sense of relief and peace, something that people suffering from mental and emotional trauma are in deep need of. The ease of a trapdoor out of a sometimes cruel reality proves too tempting for many.

[noa · Rating 5 out of 5]

tw: addiction, substance abuse (heroine, oxy). Heroine is REALLY GRAPHIC and I urge you NOT TO READ THIS if you’re not in a good place.​

(ARC provided by Edelweiss in exchange for a honest review)

I honestly don't know if I have the words right now. This was... heartbreaking, raw, sad and yet hopeful ?

Heroine tells the story of Mickey, a softball player, who gets into a car accident. An “innocent” prescription of Oxycontin makes Mickey want to “chase the dragon” meaning she wants to feel again the bliss of taking that first pill. But it’s never enough.

Heroine was a hard book to read for me. It’s raw and brutal. I’m not used to reading heavy-themed books, so this was kind of a first for me. Diving into Mickey’s universe was, uncomfortable and felt wrong but I strongly believe that this is one of the reasons why this book is good.

💫Full review posted on my blog💫

[maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow wow. If you're in a good and healthy mental state please read this book. It's so eye opening and heart breaking.

[Madalyn (Novel Ink) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review originally appeared on Novel Ink.

I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Content warnings: addiction; opioid addiction; extensive drug use (opioid pills, heroin), described in detail; overdose; withdrawal; death; car accident; needles; vomiting

**Please use caution going into this review and/or this book if you are a recovered or recovering addict. This book contains content that could be extremely triggering.**

Mindy McGinnis is an author who I typically find very hit-or-miss, but her contemporaries always make me think and always tackle difficult subject matter with nuance. Heroine is no exception. In Heroine, McGinnis paints a harrowing and all-too-real picture of the US’s opioid crisis, the myriad types of people affected, and the complexity of the issue itself.

We follow Mickey Catalan, a high school softball star in her small Midwestern town. At the beginning of the book, Mickey is driving with her best friend and fellow softball teammate, Carolina, in the passenger seat, when the two are involved in a nasty car crash that leaves both of them severely injured and puts their futures in jeopardy. Mickey, unable to play or condition during her recovery from surgery and learning to live with three new screws holding her hip together, quickly becomes dependent on her Oxycontin prescription to get through each day. What begins as a quick fix for Mickey to escape her problems soon spirals into full-blown addiction.

I should say early in this review that I have personally never dealt with addiction, so take all of my thoughts on its portrayal in this story with a grain of salt. However, I think Heroine succeeded in capturing many of the thought processes of an addict. Throughout the book, Mickey justifies her drug use because she’s “not like other addicts”– she was first prescribed the drug completely legally, after all, unlike her newfound Oxy-using friends, who she continually demeans because they began using the drug recreationally. We see the victim-blaming narrative play out in Mickey’s inner monologue, even though she is in exactly the same situation as her fellow addicts. It may be cliche, but it’s true: the first step is admitting you have a problem, and Mickey is in deep, deep denial throughout this story.

We see Mickey start to slip away from her friend group and her softball team as she spends more and more time using with her new group of friends. She steals from her mom and stepmom in order to buy more drugs. When Mickey and her friends’ source of Oxycontin is no longer a viable option, they switch to easier-to-access heroin with almost no hesitation. Through all these things, Heroine truly captures the desperation addicts feel and the ways in which addiction can take over your life and your thoughts. It’s difficult to witness as a reader, because all the bad parts of addiction Mickey experiences feel so inevitable from the outside. However, reading from Mickey’s first-person perspective perfectly illustrates how people fall into addiction and why it feels to impossible to escape from the depths of it.

Mickey is no stranger to the opioid crisis– it’s taken over in her town, to the point where everyone knows someone affected– and yet that doesn’t stop her own dependency on the drug from happening. Heroine shows how, really, this can happen to anyone. As I mentioned, Mickey is originally prescribed Oxycontin completely legally, and it’s all too easy for her to access the drug even once her prescription runs out. I think this book illustrates some of the irresponsibility on the part of doctors and drug companies in prescribing opioids.

While I do think the portrayal of addiction in Heroine, though difficult to read, is a necessary one, the reason I can’t rate this book higher boils down to the complete and utter lack of connection I felt to all the characters in this story. We don’t get to spend any time with Mickey as a character before the car accident, so her whole personality in this book is her becoming a drug addict. We are continually told about her personality before the accident, but we’re never shown it, so it’s almost impossible to feel a real connection with her as a character. Additionally, her parents, softball teammates, user friends, and all other side characters in this story all felt like characters whose sole roles in this book were to further the events of Mickey’s plot– none of them felt like fully fleshed-out characters in their own right. I think this did a disservice to the book overall.

In short, this was a powerful read about a subject I’m glad YA is tackling, but don’t expect to find your new favorite characters in this story.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

“You’re still my hero, Mickey Catalan,” Lydia says.
“Heroine,” I correct her.
“Yeah, fucking irony, right?”

2.5 stars
Me, writing a review a day after I finish it? Impossible. This never happens, except I'm currently looking for ways to procrastinate writing an essay while still seeming productive, so here we are!

The truth about Heroine is that it's by no means a bad story. It's written in a tone that's harsh and unapologetic, which I admire Mindy McGinnis for. I know this is a common theme in her books; to write about gritty and relevant topics that many authors would shy away from. Considering the ignorance people have about addiction, stories like these are incredibly necessary. I don't want to discourage anyone from reading this book, but just know this - I need more than just an important story to make it a good read. I don't necessarily need a book to be enjoyable, per se, to think highly of it, but this just didn't work for me.

Mickey is a distant character by design. She struggles with knowing what to say, and being an awkward, athletically-inclined girl who never quite felt like she belonged. She's adopted, and while she has a loving family that has provided everything for her, there's still something missing from her life. That makes her particularly vulnerable to addiction, so when she's prescribed oxytocin after being injured in a car crash, it begins a downward spiral that there's seemingly no escaping from. This book is incredibly painful, and it does contain a rather graphic portrayal of addiction, so please read at your own discretion. This is a harrowing read, and it has the power to change people's minds on the issue, so I respect it for that. But I never personally connected with the story, or felt attached with the characters. It all seems so removed, as if you're merely watching from the background. I understand this isn't a book where you're supposed to love the characters and wish they were your real life best friends and all those warm, fluffy feelings, but not feeling anything for this story plays a large part in my lack of enjoyment for it.

The audio was also not my favorite? I'll be honest, I'm a physical reader, but since I have a free trial for Scribd, I decided to play this in the background while studying. While I was intrigued by this story, thus becoming more interested in reading it, I'll admit that I didn't love the narration. Her voice for Mickey was fine, but every time she attempted to do an accent or a guy's voice, it really removed me from this story.

Bottom line: A completely necessary story that the world needs, and a narrative that I don't see represented enough in YA fiction, but it's not a particularly enjoyable one.
-------------------------------------
Currently between 2.5 to 3 stars, so I'll update with a full review and rating later. It's an undeniably well written and important story, especially considering the lack of knowledge most people have about addiction. However, there's zero emotional connection to these characters - it's a harsh and unpleasant read, even if does need to be told.

I want to put a huge content warning here for addiction, mentions of abortions, etc. Addiction is described rather graphically, so if you are recovering or are very close to someone who is, this may not be the best read for you. Please, please take care of yourself when choosing whether or not to read this story. <3

[Vicky Again · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Mindy McGinnis is one of the most versatile and consistently amazing writers I know of.

All of her books are stunning and range from a little dark to SUPER DARK, all while being some of the best teen literature I’ve ever read.

Somehow, she effortlessly gets to the root of something with a narrative style that fits the story, and her latest novel, Heroine, was no exception to this streak of consistently great books.

Honestly? Heroine is the darkest, scariest book Mindy’s written that I’ve read. What makes it so scary is that it’s so real–it’s happening to regular people in our modern world, and that makes it 100x more of a gut-punch than any fantasy novel.

Heroine is dark. It’s gruesome. It’s really really really scary.

And it’s real.

Heroine starts out with Mickey Catalan–regular teen in a small town, hoping to get a scholarship for softball, which is a huge part of her life.

And then she gets in a car crash and is prescribed Oxy.

And then she wants more.

And then and then and then and then.

The way McGinnis sets this up is what ultimately makes this so relatable–and therefore more emotional–for the reader. It’s just Mickey, softball player. She knows about the opioid epidemic in her town, but that’s not her.

And slowly, very slowly throughout the book, we see Mickey become addicted. To Oxy, and then heroin. It happens so naturally, so subtly, over a series of justifications, that you can’t help but look back and go “Wow. I never would have known.”

In the end, Mickey’s best friend Carolina who was in the crash with her asks “Why you and not me?” And there’s no good answer to that, and Mickey doesn’t have one either.

This is what makes this book so frightening (but wholly necessary). It brings the reader–who might ~know~ about this, but don’t empathize–so much closer to what addiction is like and how it happens.

I fully admit that I live a very sheltered life and although I ~know~ about addiction and drugs through education, I’ve never been exposed to it. And Mickey wasn’t either. That’s what scared out of my pants by this book. There’s no formula to how addiction works, and suddenly everything became more personal.

Although Heroine‘s goal isn’t to teach–it brought the topic so much closer to the reader. It made them understand Mickey’s shoes and how it can happen.

That is what I believe is this book’s greatest triumph. And it’s a damn good story, too.

I do have to add that the reason I took off a star is in part because I have to be able to differentiate McGinnis’ work (if I five star all of them, you’ll never know which I like best?) and also because a few of the hints McGinnis dropped along the way read a little too obvious to me. (A minor qualm, really.)

I’d put this tied in second place with Given to the Sea, with first being The Female of the Species and third being A Madness So Discreet.

Ultimately, I cannot attest to the accuracy of Heroine, although people I know who have been personally affected by addiction and have talked about how great this was, so I like to think McGinnis did a good job of portraying it.

(Also, I really love what Erin Fitzsimmons did with the cover and Heroine/Heroin/Her!)

So overall, this was great. Which I totally expected. I just never expected how hard this book would hit me.

Thank you so much to Harper Collins and Edelweiss for providing me with a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review!

--
initial thoughts upon finishing:

okay wow that was very scary and very intense

not sure what to rate it yet and it's one of mcginnis' darker books so just be prepared if you intend to read!!!

Blog | Instagram | Twitter

[Sylvie {Semi-Hiatus} · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 out of 5 Stars!

This review may contain spoilers:

I ususally don't go for stories like this, because of the dark subjects that are being dealt in the stories can be too heavy for me sometimes, but for some reason I found myself becoming invested in the synopsis so I decided to give the book a try. Before the book was released I read a sneak a peak of it and I immideately knew that Heroine will be worth the read.

Heroine has been a solid four star read for me. It is the kind of book that will grip you from the beginning till the end. A kind of a story that you don't want to stop with it and constantly want to know what will happen and how things will eventually turn out.

While reading the book it reminded me a lot of the film called 'Perfect High'. The main character of that film was a lot like Mickey (the main protagonist of this book) and the plot was similar as well. Now this doesn't mean I'm comparing those two to each other, however there were a lot of similarities yet different issues as well.

I read many young adult books that drug abuse was included, but there were always a minor issue, there were never the major concentration of the book, which I didn't mind. The deal with Heroine was that it is the main focus of the book and it's told from the POV of an addict.

One of the things that was interesting to me was that Mickey the main character is adopted, and I thought: ''Well here we go again, another book about a teenager wanting to find her biological parents no matter what, and every subject in the book being ignored and only focusing about finding her real parents''. Well folks, that was not case of this book at all. I mean, she was questioning every now and then to herself who her real parents might be and if they are good people or not, meaning if there have been drug useres like her as well and was it because of them that she became an addict.

Another main thing that bothered me through the entire novel was that no one bothered to ask Mickey if she’s using drugs outright, but everyone suspects she does... Even Carolina her best friend doesn’t even try. She knows something isn't the same with Mickey and instead of being concerned about her or talking to her about it, she creates a group chat with their teammates to discuss about Mickey and her newly developed strange behaviour. They were best friends since childhood and the way she started taking back steps from their friendship just because Mickey isn't 100% herself anymore made her an awful friend.

A character that I also want to include in this review is Edith: A woman who's over than 60 sells drugs to teenagers (and ''befriending'' them) to make her ends meet. The reason why I'm writing about her was because not her but the entire world what drugs does to a person, but she still keeps encouraging them to buy it. Plus, after everything that happened in the book there haven't been any mentioning if she's been caught by the police or etc.

In conclusion: The book does provide a good overview on how the opioid crisis is hitting everyone, how addiction breaks everything apart. And it’s well-written with a good story line.
If you enjoy YA books with fast paced storylines and serious topics I would definitely recommed this book! An intense yet very realistic story with a focus on substance abuse!

[Katie.dorny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this novel this afternoon and haven’t put it down.

Mickey was such a complex character and such a good protagonist to bring the story to life. The author’s acknowledgements also show she put her time into researching this topic.

This is a heavy book,make no mistake. There are no punches pulled in the first chapter but it’s a book definitely worth reading. The brutal honesty opens yours eyes to the reality for a lot of people.

[Ellen Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's 3.5 stars, but I'm rounding up.

It's dark and I'm driving exactly the speed limit, because I am a good girl. I am a student athlete and the catcher for an undefeated softball team and a senior who needs to get a good night's sleep before her last league game.....
I am not an addict.

I have a LOT of thoughts on this one, but I need to say this one first, and say it very loudly: Mickey's mother is one of my all time favorite fictional moms. I LOVE HER.

Don't worry I'll say it again, I'm sure.

I can't believe this is only my second Mindy McGinnis, the other one being Not a Drop to Drink. She's wonderfully talented.

The story at the core of Heroine is pretty straightforward. Girl gets injured, girl gets prescribed powerful painkillers, girl ends up with an opiate addiction.



So you know where the story is going from the get go. Not to mention that scene of a mass overdose that gets spoiled during the prologue. Which I didn't love. The scene is fine, but I don't think the story benefits at all from the placement. Heroine doesn't deliver grand surprises, but is chock full of nuanced characters and emotionally layered writing.

Also, shout out to the AWESOME dear reader / dedication included in the ARC, which I dearly hope made it to the final print. It warns the reader without being like 'omg, my story is so dark and messed up, sensitive people need not apply.' Because I hate those kinds of disclaimers, the ones that write off any criticism by saying the reader must not be able to handle it or it's too mature for them. Lemme shout loud and proud:



But this touching and honest advisory passes my test.

Lets talk about Mickey's mom. Because she is one of the greatest book parents I've read.

Annette is a tiny blonde OBGYN, who loves her adopted daughter Mickey fiercely. She's divorced, but teams up with her ex-husband when Mickey is badly injured in a car accident. She does her best to get along with Devra, the second wife, but can't hide her sadness at seeing Devra's pregnant belly that she herself will never have.

She embarrasses her daughter with "Netflix and chili" jokes! Her vibe is very similar to Olive Penderghast's parents. The tone of Heroine is a little more serious for obvious reasons, but the comparison stands. And if you don't know who I'm talking about, I suggest you watch Easy A immediately.



I'm doing things I usually wouldn't, saying things I normally couldn't.
Right now, I'm not me.
And I'm so damn happy.

Heroine does a great job detailing exactly how an addiction happens. No one starts out taking painkillers and saying, "whelp, I guess I'd better get addicted to these now!" It just slowly becomes more and more, one more pill, I don't need them, I just need them for now, just two more.

The story makes you feel the increasing desperation, the bliss that comes with falling into that opioid haze, and the wedge it drives between people, between life as you once knew it. There was no coasting through this book.

I do wish we'd gotten a chapter or two of Mickey's life before the accident, or even flashbacks. Yes, I connected emotionally to the story, but not necessary to Mickey herself. I felt deeply for what was happening, but not so much for who it was happening to. Does that make any sense at all? Maybe. Just pretend it does.

There are no tears here, no room for anything other than the feeling that everything is all right, and always will be, and always has been.

I can't say Heroine knocked my socks off, but it did lots of things very well - realism, impactful storytelling, and lovely writing. There were some drawbacks, but looking at the big picture, it's a finely told tale of a horrible thing.

*Quotes taken from proof copy and subject to change.
Thanks to Edelweiss and Katherine Tegen Books for the drc!*

[Sara L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me."




This book left me feeling hollow. By this I mean that it hit me so hard in so many different ways that I now feel emptied out. Saying it is "sad" is not enough. "Horrifying" is closer to the truth, but that seems too sensational.

PLOT

(The book comes with a trigger warning and recovering addicts should heed it.) HEROINE shines a light on the young people affected by America's opioid crisis. Mickey Catalan is a good, well-liked teen. She's honest and hardworking and a star of her championship softball team. In fact, softball is her life, her passion. When Mickey and her best friend get into a serious car accident, Mickey is anxious to recover in time to play her senior season and secure a spot on a college team. She's prescribed OxyContin for her pain and discovers she loves the warm, painless cocoon the drug provides. Convincing herself that she should keep taking it until she's back in shape and playing well, she betrays the trust of her family and friends to get the drug illegally. Her descent into addiction and her need to hide her drug use upends her relationships with those who love her. With her life and future on the line, Mickey needs to face some hard truths about her behavior and her health, but the drugs make it far too easy to ignore these important problems and let her life slip away.

THOUGHTS
This is raw and eye-opening. Everyone has heard stories of people becoming addicted to opioids, and maybe known someone with a similar experience to the book. However, being from a user's point of view, the readers can see just how slippery the slope of addiction is, even including phrases like "I can quit any time". This book gave me chills, but it was so good. Maybe not recommended for younger kids because of the mature topics, but recommended for older kids because like I said, eye-opening.

P.S- THIS BOOK WILL LEAVE YOU HEART BROKEN...

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mickey fractures her hip just a few months before senior year softball season. After one prescription of OxyContin, she’s hooked. Good thing she has it under control. She’s not an addict like Josie, the girl who gives her pills. She can stop any time she wants. Mickey just needs to be ready for spring training. She’d never crush and snort the pills. Until she does. She’d never mix them with water and shoot them into her veins. Until she does. She’d never switch to heroin. She can stop any time she wants.

HEROINE sent chills through my body from start to finish. I wanted to climb into my Kindle and stop Mickey from taking that first extra pill. I was the kid who listened to the Don’t Do Drugs lectures and took them seriously. I tell doctors I don’t want pain meds after surgery. I make the nurses remove the morphine drip the minute I’m lucid. I don’t fill pain med prescriptions. I’ve never had a substance abuse problem because Mickey is my nightmare. I’m lucky those lectures scared me so much, because I can see myself, in Mickey’s shoes, becoming her.

Mindy McGinnis has her pulse on the heart and mind of a teen who falls into addiction. She’s seventeen. Goal oriented. Softball. College scholarship. She knows her body better than the doctors the way most teenagers know more than adults. Nothing bad will happen because bad things happen to other people. Addiction happens to other people.

HEROINE should be required reading for teenagers, their teachers, coaches and parents. Anyone could become Mickey. Those of us who don’t have more fortunate DNA and get scared by cautionary tales. We are the lucky ones.

[Joan He · Rating 5 out of 5]

reread August '23 and even more excellent the 2nd time around. really got the chance to appreciate mcginnis's prose and character craft at work there, especially as it pertains to mickey's social awkwardness
--
absolutely flew through this one. once you start you can't look away, but more so than being a page turner, this is an important read and I highly recommend it to anyone, even if "issue" books don't appeal to you

[Sana]

UGH, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS COVER IS JUST :HEART EYES:

Also, no idea how she does it but I love the subjects she tackles in her books from a cli-fi about water scarcity to a historical YA about lobotomies to rape culture and now drug addiction. In other words, I stan one (1) Mindy McGinnis

[Adah Udechukwu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heroine was an inspiring read. Addictions are bad is a lesson to be learnt from the novel. If you do not control yourself and your addiction your life will be fucked up real bad.

[Cesar (Inactive) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

Heroine was an underwhelming book. With the premise of an athlete spiraling into the world of drug abuse, it should've invoked strong feelings of how someone can be fine one day but everything goes south when they start taking drugs. Except, it wasn't.

Being that Heroine tackles drug abuse and how it affects the individual taking the drug and the people around them, I was expecting more from it. And what I got, as a result, was a story that feels... adequate. It's a shame because I wanted to like Heroine but what I was left with was a story that didn't even feel complete.

CW: Drug abuse.

Heroine is about Mickey who starts to abuse prescription drugs after getting into a car accident with her best friend which resulted in her getting major surgery on her leg. The story follows her as she becomes more addicted to drugs as she deals with family issues and her competing in softball.

Heroine is one of many tales of athletes who start to abuse drugs when they get into an accident. Mickey may be a fictional character, but her story is grounded in the painful reality of drug abuse. But if I'm being honest, I did not care at all for Mickey or even the story.

Let me explain. Mickey is not a likable character. That isn't to mean I hate her because she's dislikable because I do end up liking dislikable characters more often than not. But Mickey was unlikable because she was mean and acted bitchy to her teammates and mother. She has this sense of pride that comes off as rude and arrogant instead of honest and grateful.

She does and says things that made me dislike her as a person. Even when she's suffering, I can't say I really sympathized with her because of her past actions. It's not because of her abusing drugs but how she acts and thinks. It got to the point where I just stopped caring about her. I don't know if this is what Mindy had in mind for Mickey but I couldn't like her. Even if you argue that not all characters are supposed to be liked, that doesn't excuse the character if they start acting mean or if their behavior does a complete 180 in the wrong direction.

The biggest disappointment would be the story itself. Heroine just feels incomplete. It was a mishmash of Mickey during her softball games and her drug use that when the story shifted from one subplot it doesn't flow right. The last 10% was rushed and that didn't help with the pacing at all. Everything about the story was artificial that I couldn't tell if the story was trying to be thought-provoking. It was just a bland story.

I was let down by the story so much.

When I got to the ending, I felt nothing. I didn't hate the time I spend reading Heroine because 90% of it was paced pretty good and the ending I thought was a perfect ending to Mickey's character.

Verdict

Heroine disappointed me in several ways. From a dislikable main character to a plot that had no payoff, it was just not a good book. Not bad enough to give it 1-star, but bad enough but with a few good things about it.

Thanks for reading my review!

-Cesar

[Yna from Books and Boybands · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admit to myself that I am a heroin user, while also updating in my mind what that actually means. I am not a wasted person. I am not prowling the streets. I am not an addict. I am a girl spinning her locker combination. I am a girl who got a B on her math test. I am a girl who has two holes on the inside of her arm, but they do not tell the whole story of me.

📚 Series:  No, Standalone.
📚 Genre: YA Realistic Fiction
📚 POV:  Frist person.
📚 Cliffhanger: No.

⚠ Content Warnings:  Graphic description of drug use, drug abuse, withdrawals, and effects. Car crash. Stealing. Being inside the mind of an addict craving for drugs. Lying. Mentions of abortion.
⚠ Read if: you are willing and able to read something about drugs so intensely. Not for people who are still recovering from addiction.

There's just something about the writing of Mindy McGinnis that can capture and blow you away. It's been weeks since I started reading this and a few days since I finished but everything still feels so raw and real that I feel my heart clenching while I am reading this.

I cannot deny how awesome this book is and how much I felt reading through this. This book, like the other Mindy McGinnis book I have read, is as dark as it goes. If you are looking for hope, that's not what you will get with this one.

Mindy McGinnis does no form of sugarcoating as she tells the story of Micky Catalan. She just gets on with how addiction develops and how it can happen anyone - even the town's star athlete. She has shown how it starts, how it intensifies, and how it can all spiral downwards.

To be honest, I know her books can be a hit or miss for many as she tends to brave topics that other authors shy away from. But for me, personally, this book is a great one, I am a forever fan, and I am looking forward to reading her other works.

☁ THE CRITERIA ☁

🌼 Blurb:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Main Character:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Support Characters:⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
🌼 Writing Style:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Character Development:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Thrill Factor: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Pacing: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Ending: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Unputdownability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌼 Book Cover:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

☁FINAL VERDICT: 4.81/5 ☁


Much thanks to National Book Store for this complimentary copy that I got from MIBF 2018. This review is voluntary and opinions are fully my own. Also, all quotes are taken from the ARC and may be different in the final published copy.

📚 Blog ♡ Bookstagram ♡ Facebook ♡ Twitter 📚

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

*TW FOR DISCUSSIONS OF DRUG ADDICTION & EATING DISORDERS IN THIS REVIEW*

my review: wow. what a gripping, heart-wrenching book. i’m so glad i picked this up based on the recommendation of @srybookedsolid ! i wasn’t sure how i would feel about this since i don’t pick up YA for fear of it reading too young or teen-y, but this book felt mature and honest. i would describe it as reading adult while following a teenage character. brittany pressley’s narration was great as usual.

this book follows a teen baseball player, mickey, as she gets into a car crash and becomes addicted to oxycontin. mickey was so relatable to me, just in her personality and things she would think, like feeling she could never find the right words, or feeling left out of her friend group. i’ve felt that all, and her character felt so real. but i did also relate to her on another level. i have never suffered from drug addiction, but i did struggle with an eating disorder in my teens for about 4 years (i’m fully recovered now so no worries). the way mickey went about lying to everyone and doing things she would never normally do was SO accurate. i felt flashed back to my teen years. i had always thought of my eating disorder as a different kind of addiction, needing it to “feel good” (like how mickey describes needing the drugs). i related so much to her hitting rock bottom and saying yes, i have a problem, but i don’t want to solve it. i truly understood that. i really sympathized with her character.

anyway, i would highly recommend this if you’re not triggered by reading about addiction. i think it’s fantastic and sends the message that anyone can become an addict, but also that anyone can try to get better with the support of people who love you. it’s not a battle for you to fight on your own, and if you’re struggling with anything (addiction, mental illness, EDs, etc.), please reach out to someone. it could save your life. in the words of taylor swift, “today is never too late to be brand new.”

[L A i N E Y (will be back) · Rating 2 out of 5]

“I’m exhausted in all the ways I’m supposed to be strong.”

One word: MISERABLE.

I expect more, really. Last year I read female of the species and it was so good so I definitely picked this up with a lot of expectation and that might be the downfall of my own making.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a bad book, it’s not even a ‘meh’. I just think Mickey doesn’t have that much personality for me to really get invested in her suffering. Oh I do sympathize with her for sure. And the author did a good job describing the relenting pain she’s trying to escape. I just don’t think the characters pop out off the pages enough.

I also question going straight from oxy to heroin. Is that realistic? Seems a bit excessive, no? I don’t know.


Narrated by Brittany Pressley.