The First Kiss: Undoing the Intake Model and Igniting First Sessions in Psychotherapy

by Daryl Chow

Many clients take the first step to see a psychotherapist and do not return after the first session. Why do people disengage so early, when we have so much to offer? One of the key reasons is that we are too focused on conducting an Intake instead of finding a way to Give.

We have to find ways to deepen the engagement with our clients right from the first session of therapy.

The First Kiss is specifically for the discerning psychotherapist who is willing to challenge the status quo of our profession in the way we conduct our first sessions.

At the forefront of coaching psychotherapists and agencies in their professional development, psychologist and trainer Daryl Chow, MA, Ph.D. (Psych) provides compelling applicable ways to increase your impact, so as to reduce dropouts and achieve better outcomes.

By following the concepts in this book, you will also develop a perennial framework to sustain your lifelong development plan in improving your first sessions and beyond.

Genres: Psychology, Counselling, Nonfiction, Social Work, Psychiatry, Professional Development, Audiobook

254 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 4, 2018

Reviews

[Kimberly Simpson]

This is a short book filled with a lot of technical advice for the first session in therapy, but I gained the most insight from what he shared personally. For instance, he described the experience with his own therapist as... “The magic was not in her words; it also wasn’t in the way she said it, though she was bent forward, unhurried and soft. I didn’t have the answers to her questions at the time, but that wasn’t the point. The important point was WHAT I SAID to MYSLEF based on the questions she asked. She lit a spark in me.”.

[Pimm sukbanjong]

The book is part of my study as a social work student, I found out that it is so easy to understand in the first 2 sections and it is a bit difficult to digest in the last one. However, the book not just only help me understand the principle of psychotherapy but help me to understand the way to deal with others without judgment and recovering the feedback.

It is so easy to read for everyone

[Audrey]

First half of the book I found a bit boring and not very useful in my current practice. After discussions with my colleagues, I did enjoy the self reflection part and obtaining feedback from your clients. Was able to have a productive conversation with others about this book and their perspective and how they will use it in their practice, therefore I went up half a star than originally anticipated. Definitely worth reading to check in on your intake session and areas to improve on.

[Antonetta]

This book was on my reading list at university, and I have to say that it is one of my favourite reference texts. This book has small easy to digest sections, and the author seems genuinely interested in helping you succeed. The language isn't hard to read like some educational texts, and provides really helpful summaries at the end of each of the three major sections. Thank you to Daryl Chow for authoring such an enjoyable read!

[Aliza Lasky]

Short book packed with helpful insights into how to better conduct the initial therapy session. Chow presents both important perspective on the first therapy session and valuable suggestions for improving one’s general psychotherapy practice. I think this book is most useful if read slowly so that it can be put into practice, one section at a time. Definitely worth the read.

[Mali]

Would recommend for my fellow psych guys and gals if you want actionable stuff for making the first session a bit more powerful

[Chris Long]

Liked the format of short chapters that sometimes provided nuggets of wisdom. Appreciated the emphasis on deliberate practice.

[Ashley]

This is definitely a great book for all clinicians to rethink the way first sessions are conducted! Learning never stops in any profession!

[Paige]

This book is geared more toward those private practice and a lot of the language comes off as being in the marketing vein rather than the therapeutic vein which I found grating at times (like if I tried to read too much of it one day). Sometimes it sounded like he'd swallowed one of those generic "leadership advice" books. I don't think I was the target audience for this as I've never worked in a private practice setting and I haven't ever had a client come for only one session (he mentions that he was getting a lot of single-appointment clients which prompted him to realize that we should "undo the intake model," which, yes).

That said, it's a very quick and simple read and the chapters are about one page long so you could just pepper them throughout your weeks and months or just see what looks interesting and start to integrate that. The first part of the book was the strongest.

[Carol]

sweet refresher and great reframe of ideas. Fresh. Simple. Thorough. Good primer for cinical trainees working in medical or cmomunity menta heath settings that are more traditional in approach. (The settings + traditional -- not the authors ideas). Also really super bonus that Daryl is from my part of the world! It's awesome to be abe to read about clinical from the other side of the world! Would love to read more over time from Daryl -- about his experience working across cultures and varying social norms, beliefs and practices and adaptations possibly made to accomodate the world views of South East Asian/East Asian folks across generations, language etc.

[James]

Really this could be anywhere from 3 to 5 stars - really good info but in my view more relevant new or less experienced therapists. It still has plenty of useful reminders for those who have been practicing a long time. I especially liked the author's thoughtful approach to engagement and the early sessions in therapy and some data around this. In my experience many of the insights come with experience, but how much more sensible to have this in mind up front rather than to learn by trail and error.

[Taylor McCarthy]

3.5 stars I rounded up here. So I got this book for work to give a fresh perspective on first sessions. I really loved the beginning half of this book, especially the layout and short chapters; however, it lost me a bit towards the end. I found myself getting bored and having to work hard to push through. I think it was because it became a bit research and assessment focused, which honestly is just not my thing. I love the concepts and tips, though, so I will definitely be using a large portion of it to look back at in the future!

[Brad Wolgast]

I've been a therapist for decades and did research on outcome measures and response to treatment many years ago. Daryl Chow's work alongside Scott Miller and the rest have taken the early work so many did (shout out: Mike Lambert) to another level. What works in therapy is connecting with your clients. Yes, you need to know what else to do once the connection is established, but without the connection things don't go well. I encourage anyone early in their career as a therapist and especially anyone who has been providing mental health care for many years to read Daryl's work.

[Natalie]

This book contains about 50 short chapters, each dealing with a little idea about what to do to create momentum in the first session of therapy and counseling and how to keep learning and practicing (deep practice) as a therapist.

I found the book easy to read, you can jump between chapters easily, as each chapter contains a reference to related chapters. The book can also be easily used as a reference along the way.

[Tristan McAfee]

I feel like a lot of the information in this book is common sense, or information that would be given in any CACREP accredited counseling program. I also felt that a lot of the information in it was misguided, and that utilizing some of the skills it suggested in the first session could actually be harmful to therapeutic rapport. Take this book with a grain of salt—it isn’t everything it purports to be.

[Maleah]

A helpful little book I will likely return to time and time again when I need a refresher and reminder for what this work is all about. Appreciated that it included both concrete and tangible applications to psychotherapy as well as some of the bigger themes that are only mastered with continued and intentional patience, presence, and practice.

[Anna Bee]

This book is truly beautiful, for new clinicians this is a powerful person centered approach. Really great skills, and thoughts! I read the first section very quickly and then paused the second part, coming back to the second part really was powerful and wish I would have read through, I love this style and clearness of the writing.

[Megan Angelica]

I had such high hopes for this book, I feel like the author spent so much time setting up to make a point that he never actually got to what he was trying to say. I also feel like some of the ideas are impractical for intake as most agencies expect you to have a full biopsychosocial, diagnosis, and start of a treatment plan after your first session.

[John]

It is a very helpful practical book that informed me a lot about first sessions with clients, but even more importantly, how to continue a practical growth mindset as a budding therapist into true professional development. Very easy read and simple tools.

[Adam]

Decent for trainees. I took some away too.

[Lisa Gray]

A book for therapists about how to make first sessions more effective. Also, about Deliberate Practice, making sure WE are effective at doing this job and consistently improving.

[Tracy]

I'm quickly becoming a big fan of Daryl's work. The First Kiss is for therapists at every stage of experience who want to improve client engagement.

[Alex Bernacki]

This quick read provided a lot of great practical strategies to those first few sessions! Would recommend to any students or new therapists entering the field.

[Sheyanne]

If your a therapist this has been a game changer for me! It has completely transformed the success I am seeing with clients.

[Osato]

Dr. Chow had great pointers, but I likely would have enjoyed this better if I read rather than listened to it.

Whelp, I guess I'll be getting a physical copy now.

[Aimee]

Great way to ground me at the beginning of this work.

[Kelsie Utz]

Not ground breaking or innovative (nor does it claim to be) but a short and easy guide with helpful reminders!

[Natalia Vladimirovna]

This was a relatively short and insightful read.

[Miglė]

deeply engaging and insightful - although I connected to some parts more than others, I made tons of notes, which I am eager to revisit.

[Sydney Heath]

This was super helpful and easy to read! Gave me lots of good ideas about how to improve my intake sessions. There were, however, lots of typos.