One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing

by Holly Thompson

After his father dies, Kai experiences all kinds of sadness, anger, fear, guilt. Sometimes they crash and mix together. Other times, there are no emotions at all—just flatness. As Kai and his family adjust to life without Dad, the waves still roll in. But with the help of friends and one another, they learn to cope—and, eventually, heal. A lyrical story about grieving for anyone encountering loss.

Genres: Picture Books, Childrens, Grief, Death, Family, Emotion, Mental Health

36 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 1, 2018

About the author

Holly Thompson (www.hatbooks.com) is a longtime resident of Japan originally from Massachusetts. A graduate of the NYU Creative Writing Program, she writes poetry, fiction and nonfiction for children through adults. She is author of the verse novels Falling into the Dragon's Mouth, The Language Inside, and Orchards; the picture books Listening to Trees: George Nakashima, Woodworker; One Wave at a Time; Twilight Chant and The Wakame Gatherers, and the novel Ash. She compiled and edited Tomo: Friendship Through Fiction—An Anthology of Japan Teen Stories, a collection of 36 Japan-related short stories, including ten in translation. Holly teaches writing in Japan and the U.S. and visits schools worldwide.

Reviews

[Sunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautifully illustrated book about grief and grieving. Losing someone special is never easy and it can be even harder for young children who don't yet have the emotional skills to manage their overwhelming emotions. I really appreciated the wave metaphor and the resources available at the back of the book.

[Ben Truong · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing is a children's picture book written by Holly Thompson and illustrated by Ashley Crowley, which stars a boy and his family that has lost his father and the waves of emotions that wash over him as he grieves and heals.

Thompson's text is rather simplistic, straightforward, and poetic. The narrative is written extremely well and conveys that many difficult to describe feelings that occurs from a loss of a family member. Fortunately, the narrative also includes the healing aspect of such a loss. Crowley's illustrations are simple drawings with loose washes of color, which provide literal interpretation of the text with waves engulfing the boy at times.

The premise of the book is rather straightforward. It deals with the loss of a loved one from the perspective of a young boy. At the dinner table, in the car, at a game, and in everyday moments the absence of his father is felt. Fear, anger, and sadness roll in, unpredictable and overwhelming, as his father’s items are both treasured and broken. Some days the boy feels numb, and sometimes happiness slips in. With the help of friends and family, the boy is able to manage to ride the wave of his grief to a new future.

All in all, One Wave at a Time: A Story about Grief and Healing is a wonderful and poignant children's book and grief, loss, and more importantly, healing.

[Cortnee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic! It was another great representation in a tangible way of an important emotional process some young students may go through. The waves that go with the grief cycle are given a color and feelings. Then throughout the book the waves can be seen with the main character and other family members in the home as they each go through the process of grief in their own unique ways. It gives the main character and the reader a way to identify the feelings with the grief.
There are also great coping techniques and tips for navigating the waves of grief sprinkled throughout the book. The young boy finds a quiet place to read with an item that reminds him of who he lost when he is riding a sadness wave and the family starts meeting with other families to talk about death in a group. The group then also gives more tips.
Aside from the mesmerizing representation of the waves of grief as components of the grief cycle, I really enjoyed the ending of the book. The family makes changes to adjust and then there are fewer and fewer waves, although the waves never entirely disappear. I appreciated this accuracy.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is stunning. It captures the emotions that come along with grief and loss in a perfect extended metaphor. Even as an adult, I could completely relate to the turbulence and chaos that death brings to life. The illustrations fit seamlessly. I will be adding this one to my permanent collection.

[raccoon reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh wow. I didn't read this book with my son (4) but read it at the recommendation of another librarian. If your looking for an acurate children's book that deals with the stages of grief when a loved one dies, this is a good one to check out. Read it first and see if it meets your needs for your specific situation. The use of words, images of waves and color are just so well done to convey emotions.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for a way to explain grief to children, then this is the book for you. The story was beautifully done.

[Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely children's book about grief. Helpful to me, too.

[sylas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seems like a useful book for talking to kids about death, grief, and the accompanying feelings.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So healing, at any age. Beautiful!

[Angela De Groot · Rating 3 out of 5]

PB about loss of parent, grief, coping. Lyrical text. Excellent back matter with author's note and grief support resources.

[Jazmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently read this book and decided it would be a great one to bring into the classroom because it is a vital way to introduce the challenging concept of grief. Most children go to school without a lot going on in their lives, and this story can be relatable because it follows a young boy who is motivated by a range of emotions when losing someone they love. The book allows students to be open to how they feel and understand that grief is a personal journey, and you can experience this feeling in a. variety of ways. One Wave at a Time is a book that can bring empathy in the classroom by encouraging students to understand their peers and maybe see that they are not alone. It also gives healthy ways to cope with sadness and other emotions while seeking others and remembering the good of their loved ones. Additionally, this book can help create a safe space in the classroom where students can share how they are feeling, ask questions, and feel loved.

[Mariah Fuller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book captures the truth of struggling with grief and the process of healing. This is a concept that is difficult for many young readers to understand, so I think that it being in the form of a picture book is valuable for readers to get a better of understanding what it feels like to lose someone or something that they love. I like that this book uses the analogy of waves to explore what grief feels like. There are heavy waves, unpredictable waves, and waves that break and crash, among others; these waves represent the feeling of grief. The book also shines light on the process of healing. The main character, Kai, goes to group to talk to others who are struggling with the waves of grief, he makes a grief kit, and the family begins to strengthen their relationship to help each other. Although the waves still come, the healing process is on-going.

[Tori Hodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about a young boy who has lost his father. He tells about the emotions and feelings that come in waves after and how he deals with the waves. He also shares coping mechanisms that him and his family use to also work through the grief together. They create community and make things that make the waves not go away, but a little easier to swim through. I would use this book as a resource if I knew one of my students was experiencing this to help them know they are not alone, their feelings are normal, and that there are resources to help them through. I would also make a grief kit with them to provide resources that they can use throughout the day and at home as well. I would send home some resources for other family members to look through as well and also work with school social workers to best help the student work through this time and know they are not alone.

[Lauri Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We used to be four, but now we are three.” After the loss of his father, a boy deals with grief likening the varied emotions to waves. Sometimes the waves come in too strong and he has to hide. Other days angry waves come, and he has to yell and break. Fear waves ask uncomfortable questions and feel like guilt. Some days are waveless, without interest. Happy waves come sometimes, but don’t always stay long. The waves are unpredictable.

Through group therapy the boy is able to talk about the feelings and memories. He makes a grief box for tough days and a memory box. Even though the waves still come, he has learned how to ride the waves. (This book shares a helpful dialectical behavior therapy tool- riding the wave)

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am drawn to books that deal with grief and healing and this little picture book is beautiful in every way. I have heard of the wave analogy with grief before. This adds the lovely element of the illustrations. It captures many of the types of emotions that accompany grief and the ebb and flow of those emotions. I found it particularly poignant that the child's feet are in the water (grief) all of the time in the beginning. Great ideas for healing and living well with your grief.

Simple prose
Nice illustrations
Open and understanding, explanatory, guidance

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bonus Author's Note and Grief Support Resources in the back of the book.

Beautifully illustrated book about dealing with the loss of a parent and all the emotions and feelings associated with grieving for a loved one. Quietly told from the perspective of a young child it not only deals with the loss, but also how to slowly move forward, to preserve the memories and things that were left behind. I think this is a really important book for young children. I love the use of color and the metaphor of waves to represent the different emotions, very well done!

[Rena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful, therapeutic book; the illustrations were fabulous and it named so many emotions associated with grief. It led to good conversation with my children and reiterated that grief comes and goes and repeats in various forms/emotions. This book is a treasure we will revisit in the days ahead and that I will also use in my counseling work in the future. I would highly recommend this book to families dealing with grief. In this book the Dad dies and it is simple enough it can be useful no matter who the family member is that passed.

[YingYu Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written in a succinct but easy way for children to understand “sadness”.
Being sad is ok.
Being happy is ok.

I went to the author’s book party @ Porter Square Books and heard her editor tried to change the word from “sadness” to “grief.” Good to know it didn’t happened.
The feeling of losing a family is so strong that it is not likely to fade, and the metaphor of waves is a good concept and a comforting one.

Love the art that works with the words beautifully.

[Katy Jean Vance · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful story. What I specifically like about it is how it can be read on many levels. Woven through the narrative are specific ideas for handling and working through grief, and because it’s written through the eyes of a child (upper elementary?), it doesn’t feel heavy handed. I also liked how all of the characters had outward expressions of grief and they all showed growth over the course of the story.

Another excellent text from Holly Thompson.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful, sensitive book for children (or anyone actually) who is suffering grief after the loss of a loved one. The words are soothing, poetic, and honest, and give the reader hope that the pain will become manageable. The illustrations beautifully complement the words with wave imagery that will help the grieving child better understand his or her feelings. This book would make an excellent gift for a grieving child.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a young adult when I lost my dad, but I still found this lyrical picture book to be relatable and comforting. The main character, his mother and brother navigate life after the loss of their dad, including sadness, anger, guilt, shame, etc. The language is beautiful and spare, and because the text never mentions how the dad died, any children (or adults for that matter) dealing with grief could see themselves in it. Moody, expressive illustrations pair well with the text.

[Randy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A tough topic is handled well here, with an excellent use of metaphor. However, maybe read other books along with this one that better show hopeful futures (instead of stressing one must learn to live with grief forever--true, but a bit of a downer message for a child)? For example, The Rough Patch.

[Cheriee Weichel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This focuses on a young boy who has recently lost his father. It metaphorically conveys the essence of the grieving process. The beauty of the illustrations accentuate the messages in the text.
There has been a lot of death in my world in the past 8 months. This is pretty much what it's like.
All school libraries should have a copy of this.

[Lynn Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is wonderful to find a picture book about grieving, and this one is excellent. It is encouraging to see the range of emotion that comes from loss of a loved one, which shows through superb illustrations that it is normal and okay to feel those things.
This is such a good book for anyone having to cope with loss.

[McKenzie Squires]

A story about how emotions come in waves, either all at once or none at all. Working to express these feelings with friends and family is very important in the healing process. I enjoyed this book because the ocean reminds me of my loved ones who have passed away. This book would be a good story to read with children to help them learn and better understand what grieving is.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief over a lost loved one is hard for anyone, especially a child. This book helps children understand the many phases and stage of grief and to know that they are OK to feel. The illustrations are especially captivating.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief comes in waves - sad, mad, fearful, happy, flat. The young boy takes us through his journey after his dad dies. Love that the author includes support groups and counseling and provides more information at the end of the story.

[Raven Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely modern story about grief without being "in your face" or overly "preachy." I haven't looked at the sources included, but they seem like they would be very helpful. The art is lovely and perfectly suited for the somber, but hopeful, tone of the story.

[Donovan Albert]

A children's book about how to deal with death and what grief is. I will for sure be having this book and books like this in my class because mental health is important! Great illustrations that help the words!

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely, gentle book about an important topic. I appreciate that the family in the story is depicted as mutlicultural.