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Belong: Find Your People, Create Community, and Live a More Connected Life
Get ready to focus on the single most important thing you can do to live a happy, healthy, and successful BELONG.“Read this book, do what it says, and discover exactly where you fit in.”—John Mackey, Co-founder and CEO, Whole Foods Market “If you want to belong, read this book.”—Deepak Chopra, MD “From the moment I opened this book I was hooked. This book is caring and tender, challenging and action-driven. It is now on my recommendation list.”—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, host of Where Should We Begin? podcast How is it that the internet connects us to a world of people, yet so many of us feel more isolated than ever? That we have hundreds, even thousands of friends on social media, but not a single person to truly confide in? Radha Agrawal calls this “community confusion,” and in Belong she offers every reader a blueprint to find their people and build and nurture community, because connectedness—as more and more studies show—is our key to happiness, fulfillment, and success. A book that’s equal parts inspiring and interactive, and packed with prompts, charts, quizzes, and full-color illustrations, Belong takes readers on a two-part journey. Part one is Going IN—a gentle but intentional process of self-discovery and finding out your true energy levels and VIA (values, interests, and abilities). Part two is Going OUT—building on all that you’ve learned about yourself to find those few special people who feed your soul, and discovering, or creating, the ever-widening groups that align with your aims and desires. As the Co-founder and CEO of the popular global morning dance community Daybreaker, Radha Agrawal developed an immense offline community with her team of Community Catalysts in 25 cities and on a dozen college campuses around the world by creating a physical space for people to connect, self-express, sweat, and dance. Now, Radha offers the life-changing strategies, tips, and tricks for making friends that will light your fire and give you the exhale of “Ahh, I’m home.” “Radha has written a book that’s fun to read, easy to digest, and embodies deep wisdom. This isn’t just a book I’m endorsing. This is a book that I want to buy multiple copies of because I have so many friends and acquaintances that will benefit from it. It’s the first book I couldn't wait to finish reading it so I could give my copy to one of my friends to read the same day.” —Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos and author of Delivering Happiness
233 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2018
539 people are currently reading
3457 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 217 reviews
September 24, 2018
2.5 stars
In the spirit of this book, I am making acronyms for every point I want to make.
So, TWC...This Was Crap. Written by a 30-something big city dwelling social media professional, it was not what I expected. Nor what applies to me (even the few pages on Master Citizens, which btw is a TUP...totally unneeded phrase. We are Senior Citizens...not thing wrong with that.) I think a lot of the problems we are facing today is that...no one is "facing" anyone. A community is defined as: a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage. I was looking for this larger spirit of community...not a social network of like minded, same aged, similar experienced individuals...that can have dinner together occasionally.
I found the book "This is Where You Belong" by Melody Warnick to be more what I was looking for...well researched and well written.
This book is annoying in its format and in its description. I've now wasted way TMT on this.
In the spirit of this book, I am making acronyms for every point I want to make.
So, TWC...This Was Crap. Written by a 30-something big city dwelling social media professional, it was not what I expected. Nor what applies to me (even the few pages on Master Citizens, which btw is a TUP...totally unneeded phrase. We are Senior Citizens...not thing wrong with that.) I think a lot of the problems we are facing today is that...no one is "facing" anyone. A community is defined as: a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage. I was looking for this larger spirit of community...not a social network of like minded, same aged, similar experienced individuals...that can have dinner together occasionally.
I found the book "This is Where You Belong" by Melody Warnick to be more what I was looking for...well researched and well written.
This book is annoying in its format and in its description. I've now wasted way TMT on this.
Read
October 18, 2018Radha offers some great tips on building a community that you want to be part of. Thinking this way about friendships seems revolutionary.
First, you need to identify the kind of people you want to hang out with and think about how you can be better friend to those people.
She also has some pro tips such as: when you hang out with someone you want to cultivate a friendship with, be sure to schedule your next meeting then and there. I also liked her chapter urging everyone to "show up." It's true! If you want to feel like you are part of a community or a group of friends you need to keep meeting up with them and putting your energy into that group. I've noticed at this phase in my life, with a husband and children, that often don't have the time to allocate toward cultivating a great female friendship. This book is a great reminder that these relationships are important--even necessary--for a full life.
First, you need to identify the kind of people you want to hang out with and think about how you can be better friend to those people.
She also has some pro tips such as: when you hang out with someone you want to cultivate a friendship with, be sure to schedule your next meeting then and there. I also liked her chapter urging everyone to "show up." It's true! If you want to feel like you are part of a community or a group of friends you need to keep meeting up with them and putting your energy into that group. I've noticed at this phase in my life, with a husband and children, that often don't have the time to allocate toward cultivating a great female friendship. This book is a great reminder that these relationships are important--even necessary--for a full life.
September 6, 2018
This book is not what I expected. I'm not sure what I expected, to be fair, but it wasn't this. I think I was expecting another "we live behind our screens and we're the most lonely generation" type book, with the added point of "it's hard to make new friends as adults because we're not in school anymore." This book was kind of that, but not really.
The first chapter irritated me to the extent that I almost gave up. Every page had a different font, font size, color, shape of the text, etc., and it was too ADD for my taste. Then Agrawal decided to rewrite Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (and name it after herself), which irked me. It was extremely off-putting and honestly made me think she's a giant egotist, especially given that the book continually talks about how successful she's been at launching a bunch of new ventures. I still think that at the end of the book, especially because the last page is "oh btw, I'm launching an online community" (which I'm sure costs money).
The completely schizophrenic text issues died down a bit in later chapters, much to my relief. However, she continued to bug me. She gives gimmicky names to literally everything, that even though I read it in less than a week, by the end I couldn't remember what "FYF" or any of the other 43 cutesy names she gave to archetypes of people. It was way too "woo woo" in that way.
Even putting the visual annoyances and weird acronyms aside, the content of this books was confusing. I don't think it knew what it was supposed to be. Some chapters really felt like they were more about friend circles, while others really only applied to someone wanting to create an organization. On top of that, none of the advice she gave was profound. It was legitimately just common sense. Overall, it was very shallow, as it didn't really delve into any of the three things the title mentions beyond a very superficial overview of anything you could find in a Medium article.
I'm still giving it 2 stars, because I was able to finish it, and maybe it might be beneficial for someone who is less snarky and cynical than I am. But for me, this is a hard pass.
Thank you to Netgalley for the eARC.
The first chapter irritated me to the extent that I almost gave up. Every page had a different font, font size, color, shape of the text, etc., and it was too ADD for my taste. Then Agrawal decided to rewrite Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (and name it after herself), which irked me. It was extremely off-putting and honestly made me think she's a giant egotist, especially given that the book continually talks about how successful she's been at launching a bunch of new ventures. I still think that at the end of the book, especially because the last page is "oh btw, I'm launching an online community" (which I'm sure costs money).
The completely schizophrenic text issues died down a bit in later chapters, much to my relief. However, she continued to bug me. She gives gimmicky names to literally everything, that even though I read it in less than a week, by the end I couldn't remember what "FYF" or any of the other 43 cutesy names she gave to archetypes of people. It was way too "woo woo" in that way.
Even putting the visual annoyances and weird acronyms aside, the content of this books was confusing. I don't think it knew what it was supposed to be. Some chapters really felt like they were more about friend circles, while others really only applied to someone wanting to create an organization. On top of that, none of the advice she gave was profound. It was legitimately just common sense. Overall, it was very shallow, as it didn't really delve into any of the three things the title mentions beyond a very superficial overview of anything you could find in a Medium article.
I'm still giving it 2 stars, because I was able to finish it, and maybe it might be beneficial for someone who is less snarky and cynical than I am. But for me, this is a hard pass.
Thank you to Netgalley for the eARC.
January 7, 2019
So chipper. So positive. So many exclamation points. So much self promotion.
August 9, 2018
Such a true and beautiful book with raw facts and life experiences that offer a chance for the reader to discover way it truly means to belong.
Full review to come!
Full review to come!
February 1, 2020
From books about depression, addiction, or physical heath, one thing you hear over and over is that you NEED community. Great. Now how to get it? I was hoping this book would have some practical tips for finding and building community, but it really didn't. Most of the book was very shallow "introspection" exercises, the sort you've already read and thought about hundreds of times if you've ready any self-help books at all. The small portion of the book that did focus on building community, was very specific about a certain kind of community- basically high energy people who are extroverts. It talked a LOT about her own business, daybreakers, which frankly is not the sort of thing most of us are looking for, I don't think. Honestly, I want to believe Radha had the best intentions in writing this, but the whole thing kind of felt like an advertisement. She's probably a really nice person in real life, but in this books she definitely comes off a bit egotistical, and one of those people who thinks everyone should just be able to fix all their mental problems with a little will power. Basically, the right kind of person might find this super useful, but I am not that person.
April 23, 2019
This book has several issues, too many acronyms and cutesy names for everything , it was confusing. Secondly I thought this book would be a kind of self help guide for social anxiety issues. Her remedy for this is exercise and getting up early, instead of you know maybe actual therapy and maybe medication. Most of this book is just her promoting Daybreakers, her morning dance/rave company 🙄. I’d rather hurl than dance at 5am with anyone.
June 22, 2018
3-3.5 I can't quite decide.
I don't usually write reviews for books I read on here however I picked this book up at Book Expo and figured a review was worth writing in exchange for the ARC. The first line of the blurb sucked me in: "It's the great paradox of the digital age - the internet connects us to countless numbers of people, and yet we feel more isolated than ever."
What I liked about this book:
Practical advice about how to seek out new people and communities, mostly stemming from identifying who you really are, what you enjoy doing etc and following these activities to meet people. It's not overly original but the way it's written makes you often feel as though you're just thinking of these things for the first time.
Beautiful illustrations throughout to enhance the words, explain ideas further, make the book pretty!
A thoughtful exploration of friendships, society and personal habits. There were a lot of moments in the book that set my mind off on a tangent, resulting in notes and Google searches being made.
This is definitely a book to dip into time and again, I'm sure there's much more to unpack in these pages than the first read has given me.
What I didn't like:
For me, and it's purely my personal taste, there was too much talk of energies and watering things down to our energy or energies and how these connect or clash with other people's energies. I think there can be much more to it than that and by the end, constantly reading about energies felt a bit airy-fairy.
I wanted some more in depth discussion or exploration of society, technology, social media etc. I find this area fascinating and obviously this wasn't the intention of the book - the book is much more accessible for a wider audience, a fairly quick read with illustrations throughout, but I wanted to sink my teeth in a bit. I also feel like it didn't specifically address a particular generation, this can be a positive i.e. mass appeal, yet I think some sections drilling down into social media/technology's impact on different ages could be worthwhile. All this is to say, at times I identified heavily with what I was reading then the book would drift off into generalities.
Overall worthwhile reading!
I don't usually write reviews for books I read on here however I picked this book up at Book Expo and figured a review was worth writing in exchange for the ARC. The first line of the blurb sucked me in: "It's the great paradox of the digital age - the internet connects us to countless numbers of people, and yet we feel more isolated than ever."
What I liked about this book:
Practical advice about how to seek out new people and communities, mostly stemming from identifying who you really are, what you enjoy doing etc and following these activities to meet people. It's not overly original but the way it's written makes you often feel as though you're just thinking of these things for the first time.
Beautiful illustrations throughout to enhance the words, explain ideas further, make the book pretty!
A thoughtful exploration of friendships, society and personal habits. There were a lot of moments in the book that set my mind off on a tangent, resulting in notes and Google searches being made.
This is definitely a book to dip into time and again, I'm sure there's much more to unpack in these pages than the first read has given me.
What I didn't like:
For me, and it's purely my personal taste, there was too much talk of energies and watering things down to our energy or energies and how these connect or clash with other people's energies. I think there can be much more to it than that and by the end, constantly reading about energies felt a bit airy-fairy.
I wanted some more in depth discussion or exploration of society, technology, social media etc. I find this area fascinating and obviously this wasn't the intention of the book - the book is much more accessible for a wider audience, a fairly quick read with illustrations throughout, but I wanted to sink my teeth in a bit. I also feel like it didn't specifically address a particular generation, this can be a positive i.e. mass appeal, yet I think some sections drilling down into social media/technology's impact on different ages could be worthwhile. All this is to say, at times I identified heavily with what I was reading then the book would drift off into generalities.
Overall worthwhile reading!
December 21, 2023
Honestly, this book is a lot. It is riddled with toxic positivity, unnecessary acronyms, and unrealistic expectations. I picked this book up looking for advice on building a community, but this would only create an echo chamber.
The first half of her book is about self reflection, which seems like a great starting point. The exercises she has you do, reflecting on your life and who you are. Then, we get into judgemental nonsense.
She has two full pages about not using labels to define yourself and how they can be so limiting to a person. However, the very next chapter is about "high energy" and "low energy" people. She actually says, "Good people want to hang out, work, travel, and do business with people who use exclamation points." Guess I'm a bad person then.
In this chapter, she also talks about how low energy is negative and is harmful to your life. I've never liked this "positivite vibes only" mindset because it removes oneself from pain and sadness. It removes us from mental illness, physical disabilities, disease, tragedy, and half of what makes us human.
In the second part, it talks about finding your "tribe." While it has some good advice, if used the way she explains, you are only going to create an echo chamber. This book is not about community. It's about finding friends that agree with you. Community should include everyone, not just "high energy" people.
In short, this is a feel-good book full of ableism, classism, and unrealistic goals. I would not recommend reading this.
The first half of her book is about self reflection, which seems like a great starting point. The exercises she has you do, reflecting on your life and who you are. Then, we get into judgemental nonsense.
She has two full pages about not using labels to define yourself and how they can be so limiting to a person. However, the very next chapter is about "high energy" and "low energy" people. She actually says, "Good people want to hang out, work, travel, and do business with people who use exclamation points." Guess I'm a bad person then.
In this chapter, she also talks about how low energy is negative and is harmful to your life. I've never liked this "positivite vibes only" mindset because it removes oneself from pain and sadness. It removes us from mental illness, physical disabilities, disease, tragedy, and half of what makes us human.
In the second part, it talks about finding your "tribe." While it has some good advice, if used the way she explains, you are only going to create an echo chamber. This book is not about community. It's about finding friends that agree with you. Community should include everyone, not just "high energy" people.
In short, this is a feel-good book full of ableism, classism, and unrealistic goals. I would not recommend reading this.
March 19, 2020
This book is as light and frothy as a bubble, but just as pretty and attractive. This book explores how to create communities with authenticity and meaning. Yes it is a simple. Supposedly, what you put out is what you receive... Good luck with that... But the desire to live an authentic life, with vulnerabilities and truth-telling, is powerful and important.
This is not a scholarly or intellectual book. But it offers models and systems to build links, communities and communication.
This is not a scholarly or intellectual book. But it offers models and systems to build links, communities and communication.
June 3, 2025
I liked this fun & energetic book by Radha Agrawal. Its appealing design kept me moving forward, with quick-to-read chapters and drawings throughout to emphasize the author’s points.
Good structure:
Part I - Going In - four chapters prompting introspection about self. My favorite takeaway is the mnemonic for releasing your natural DOSE - dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins!
Part II - Going Out - six chapters about finding and building relationships…to find your people you have to be willing - and generous - with your energy. I especially liked the explanation of four stages of community: exploratory, participatory, outer core & inner core, and how to build a dream community via her CRAWL method:
C - core values, constraints & community
Create the philosophical foundation
R - rituals
Determine how your community will participate in familiar ways
A - aesthetics
Style & vibe
W - why & what
Why should this community exist, what’s my role in it, and what other communities or affinity groups can we align with?
L - language - words convey meaning so we understand each other; language conveys energy so we feel each other.
I tended to think of the two largest communities to which I belong - work at Businessolver with its core values, and church at First Unitarian with its values & liturgy of rituals. Also Camp UniStar with its philosophical foundation and rituals. All have their keen shared language and energy.
Also helpful, the notion of reframing FOMO into JOMO - the joy of missing out because you’re genuinely happy to do your own thing.
This is a book I could pick up again in six months and revisit for more gleanings.
Good structure:
Part I - Going In - four chapters prompting introspection about self. My favorite takeaway is the mnemonic for releasing your natural DOSE - dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins!
Part II - Going Out - six chapters about finding and building relationships…to find your people you have to be willing - and generous - with your energy. I especially liked the explanation of four stages of community: exploratory, participatory, outer core & inner core, and how to build a dream community via her CRAWL method:
C - core values, constraints & community
Create the philosophical foundation
R - rituals
Determine how your community will participate in familiar ways
A - aesthetics
Style & vibe
W - why & what
Why should this community exist, what’s my role in it, and what other communities or affinity groups can we align with?
L - language - words convey meaning so we understand each other; language conveys energy so we feel each other.
I tended to think of the two largest communities to which I belong - work at Businessolver with its core values, and church at First Unitarian with its values & liturgy of rituals. Also Camp UniStar with its philosophical foundation and rituals. All have their keen shared language and energy.
Also helpful, the notion of reframing FOMO into JOMO - the joy of missing out because you’re genuinely happy to do your own thing.
This is a book I could pick up again in six months and revisit for more gleanings.
November 14, 2022
Not sure when exactly I started this one, but I slowly worked my way through. A very update book with some good ideas and some nice quotes.
September 15, 2021
Summary: There were a few bits of extremely helpful, practical advice here, but most of the book was a poor fit for my goals and values.
This book included a few really helpful pieces of advice, but overall, it wasn't what I was looking for. I thought maybe that was my own fault for not reading the cover blurb carefully enough. However, the cover blurb does actually promise a first section on figuring out what you want (which it delivered!) and a second section on finding friends and community (not so much!).
The first section did a great job of suggesting specific exercises. There were ideas for figuring out what interests or values you might share; what you might want in a friend; and what you could do to be a better friend. Even in this section, though, there were some bits that rubbed me the wrong way. The author seems way into manifesting what you want by putting it out into the world. I think that idea is largely BS. She also acts like just being positive will get you friends. This particularly bothered me as some of my best relationships are with people dealing with depression. They're not always all sunshine, but they still share my interests and values and I'm glad I have them in my life. She vaguely gestures at institutional decline, but mostly puts the onus the individual to do something about it. Still, the exercises in this section were helpful. Personally, I do think there are things I could do to be a better friend. I appreciated prompts that made me think of specific ways to do that.
The second section spent one short chapter on finding friends. The first idea in this section was basically to use meet-up groups. I found that disappointing, because that's advice I can get very easily from the internet. Her second suggestion was more useful to me. That was that after finding a group, you should get involved in making that group better somehow. I am just realizing that getting more actively involved in my volunteer group is deepening my connection to that group and the people in it. I think this is great advice. I'll be doing my best to implement that in my own life. I wish the author had continued to give more suggestions for finding existing friends and social groups. Or even advice for building new, small social groups. Instead, the remaining 3/8 of the book focused on building large social movements, like the ones the author has created. That's way beyond where I'm at or where I even want to be.
The second section also included some woo-woo, law-of-attraction-type nonsense. It focused a lot on connecting to people based on shared "energy", which I thought was extremely silly. There were a lot of shallow points made about our changing society, the impact of technology on our social lives, and how friendships worked. They didn't add anything to book for me. I also disliked her negative view of technology. Some of my best relationships were made and maintained online! Online interactions don't and shouldn't replace meeting people in person, but I think the one leads to the other more often than the author realizes.
There were a few true gems in this book that I think will actually change my behavior. That's not always true of self-help books! On the other hand, it included a lot of info that wasn't a great fit for me. I think if you're looking to grow your social circle, this is a book worth checking out. Just be ready to keep the parts that work for you and discard those that don't.This review was originally posted on Doing Dewey
This book included a few really helpful pieces of advice, but overall, it wasn't what I was looking for. I thought maybe that was my own fault for not reading the cover blurb carefully enough. However, the cover blurb does actually promise a first section on figuring out what you want (which it delivered!) and a second section on finding friends and community (not so much!).
The first section did a great job of suggesting specific exercises. There were ideas for figuring out what interests or values you might share; what you might want in a friend; and what you could do to be a better friend. Even in this section, though, there were some bits that rubbed me the wrong way. The author seems way into manifesting what you want by putting it out into the world. I think that idea is largely BS. She also acts like just being positive will get you friends. This particularly bothered me as some of my best relationships are with people dealing with depression. They're not always all sunshine, but they still share my interests and values and I'm glad I have them in my life. She vaguely gestures at institutional decline, but mostly puts the onus the individual to do something about it. Still, the exercises in this section were helpful. Personally, I do think there are things I could do to be a better friend. I appreciated prompts that made me think of specific ways to do that.
The second section spent one short chapter on finding friends. The first idea in this section was basically to use meet-up groups. I found that disappointing, because that's advice I can get very easily from the internet. Her second suggestion was more useful to me. That was that after finding a group, you should get involved in making that group better somehow. I am just realizing that getting more actively involved in my volunteer group is deepening my connection to that group and the people in it. I think this is great advice. I'll be doing my best to implement that in my own life. I wish the author had continued to give more suggestions for finding existing friends and social groups. Or even advice for building new, small social groups. Instead, the remaining 3/8 of the book focused on building large social movements, like the ones the author has created. That's way beyond where I'm at or where I even want to be.
The second section also included some woo-woo, law-of-attraction-type nonsense. It focused a lot on connecting to people based on shared "energy", which I thought was extremely silly. There were a lot of shallow points made about our changing society, the impact of technology on our social lives, and how friendships worked. They didn't add anything to book for me. I also disliked her negative view of technology. Some of my best relationships were made and maintained online! Online interactions don't and shouldn't replace meeting people in person, but I think the one leads to the other more often than the author realizes.
There were a few true gems in this book that I think will actually change my behavior. That's not always true of self-help books! On the other hand, it included a lot of info that wasn't a great fit for me. I think if you're looking to grow your social circle, this is a book worth checking out. Just be ready to keep the parts that work for you and discard those that don't.This review was originally posted on Doing Dewey
June 24, 2020
КНИГА ПРО СООБЩЕСТВА?
Перед началом чтения я думал, что это книга про построение сообществ. У Рады Агравал, судя по описанию, в этом большой опыт. Но это оказалось не совсем так)
Итак, мой краткий обзор книги.
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Автор в течении первой половины книги напоминает нам про базовые вещи, которые должны быть в жизни каждого из нас. Ценности, принципы, фундамент и тп. В общем книга из серии "Я за всё хорошее и против всего плохого». Это мы можем прочитать и в других книгах. Я ожидал от 300 страниц подходы и инструменты по построению комьюнити. А в итоге основная тема занимает только страниц 50. Можете смело пропускать эзотерику и переходить прямо к делу.
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Люди сейчас, больше чем раньше, нуждаются в общении со своими единомышленниками. Пришло время сообществ.
КАКАЯ БЫЛА ЦЕЛЬ ЧТЕНИЯ:
Получить новые навыки и подходы в развитии своего профессионального сообщества - «Книжного бизнес клуба «12»». Моему клубу скоро 2 года и нужны свежие мысли и идеи.
ГЛАВНЫЕ ВЫВОДЫ:
🖋Запоминающиеся и креативные названия для ивентов сообщества - это важно.
🖋Еще раз вижу из опыта автора, как хорошо работает заранее запланированный график встреч. Мы в моем книжном клубе давно определили, что встречаемся каждую третью среду месяца в одно и тоже время. Темы согласованы вперед минимум на 3 месяца.
🖋У каждого сообщества должны быть какие то ритуалы во время встреч.
🖋Прежде чем основать сообщество надо ответить себе на 5 ключевых вопросов:
1. Почему меня волнует идея создания этого сообщества?
2. Почему я тот самый человек, который должен возглавить это сообщество?
3. Какова цель существования нашей организации?
4. С кем я могу еще запартнериться?
5. Почему мое сообщество с годами будет продолжать жить и развиваться?
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
- Внедрю в своем клубе какие-нибудь необременительные ритуалы.
- Сделаю мерч своего Книжного клуба.
Перед началом чтения я думал, что это книга про построение сообществ. У Рады Агравал, судя по описанию, в этом большой опыт. Но это оказалось не совсем так)
Итак, мой краткий обзор книги.
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Автор в течении первой половины книги напоминает нам про базовые вещи, которые должны быть в жизни каждого из нас. Ценности, принципы, фундамент и тп. В общем книга из серии "Я за всё хорошее и против всего плохого». Это мы можем прочитать и в других книгах. Я ожидал от 300 страниц подходы и инструменты по построению комьюнити. А в итоге основная тема занимает только страниц 50. Можете смело пропускать эзотерику и переходить прямо к делу.
ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
Люди сейчас, больше чем раньше, нуждаются в общении со своими единомышленниками. Пришло время сообществ.
КАКАЯ БЫЛА ЦЕЛЬ ЧТЕНИЯ:
Получить новые навыки и подходы в развитии своего профессионального сообщества - «Книжного бизнес клуба «12»». Моему клубу скоро 2 года и нужны свежие мысли и идеи.
ГЛАВНЫЕ ВЫВОДЫ:
🖋Запоминающиеся и креативные названия для ивентов сообщества - это важно.
🖋Еще раз вижу из опыта автора, как хорошо работает заранее запланированный график встреч. Мы в моем книжном клубе давно определили, что встречаемся каждую третью среду месяца в одно и тоже время. Темы согласованы вперед минимум на 3 месяца.
🖋У каждого сообщества должны быть какие то ритуалы во время встреч.
🖋Прежде чем основать сообщество надо ответить себе на 5 ключевых вопросов:
1. Почему меня волнует идея создания этого сообщества?
2. Почему я тот самый человек, который должен возглавить это сообщество?
3. Какова цель существования нашей организации?
4. С кем я могу еще запартнериться?
5. Почему мое сообщество с годами будет продолжать жить и развиваться?
ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
- Внедрю в своем клубе какие-нибудь необременительные ритуалы.
- Сделаю мерч своего Книжного клуба.
September 9, 2018
Stop hanging out with the wrong people doing things that don’t fulfill and energize you, and choose how you spend your time and who you spend it with. In BELONG, Radha Agrawal beautifully explains how she found her tribe and built a truly global dance party, Daybreaker, with and for the people she loved. (If you've ever been to one of her Daybreaker parties, held monthly in 24 cities around the world, you’ve felt the strong sense of community and a feeling of belonging that radiates through the dance floor. It's a pulse that makes you simultaneously want to dance your face off and hug everyone!) The book navigates how she found and expanded a strong community of like-minded and like-spirited individuals. Radha sprinkles in interactive assignments that transform this easy listen into a productive, nourishing and introspective experience.
September 11, 2018
One of the most devastating results to come from a wellness survey I've been working on was to learn how epidemic loneliness is locally and across the country. Despite having hundreds or thousands of "friends" on social media, over half the people in our midst are suffering from incredible loneliness. What to do? How do you figure out where you might "belong?" This incredible book provides step by step guidance on how to figure out what really makes you tick and how to either find or create the kind of community in which you can thrive. The book is beautifully laid out, easy and fun to engage with, and I totally resonate with the specific activities the author has put together to help people go from isolation to true community.
March 5, 2019
I love going inside the Agrawal mindset and seeing radically different thinking has led to a vibrant life. We're all craving community - but not just any kind of community - the kind that helps us become our highest, most thriving selves. Radha lays out the roadmap to building that community, starting from within.
October 26, 2019
Newsflash, honey - there are plenty of people out there who don't like (or aren't able) to dance or exercise. For a book supposedly about finding "your" people, the author was awfully stuck on suggestions that matched HER values.
April 6, 2019
For any community builders out there- this is a must read!
March 31, 2019
A group of activists with whom I volunteer has been working through this book collectively to strengthen our community. I think reading and doing it alone could be helpful but working through and discussing it with others really helps to know not only yourself, but those with whom you communicate with regularly. We're an online community with members around the country and we may never meet face,to face. But we have learned about each other through this book and it helps us to work better together.
September 15, 2018
This is an amazing workbook that details how to overcome loneliness by building your own community of friends who share common interests and goals. Too many of us fall into friendships or family relationships and we just talk about other people and not about interesting subjects. I’ve learned many of the techniques she discusses through therapy but I love the fact that you brainstorm and journal in this book so that the ideas solidify in your mind and you can easily access them in one journal.
January 2, 2021
A lot of interesting and useful information, beautifully illustrated and published, and a good read. Would be better if she didn’t push the idea that you can never have or make or keep authentic friendships online, and that people only take anti depressants because they’re not taking good care of themselves. Both of which I hugely disagree with. I’ll keep my meds and online friends while also continuing to value and work on local friends and community engagement and belonging.
January 22, 2019
A really useful thought exercise to think about how you can intentionally create a community and build meaningful relationships. A lot of it seems like common on sense, but with all of the technology we have, we forget about human interaction. Check this out if you feel something is missing for you and your relationships!
January 3, 2023
This was like an adult picture book 🤪 🎨 I enjoyed the doodles although at times it was hard to know what to read first. Taking away a few nuggets. Love that she calls herself a Community Architect too. Thinking I’m not the target for this book, but I still got some things out of it. Found the acronyms to be a bit much.
January 27, 2019
This was a fun read with very constructive advice and exercises. If you are anxious about finding a new social community, I think there are solid steps for you to follow in this guide. Be warned: the use of acronyms is wildly out of control!
March 4, 2022
I was surprised by the reviews, it may just be that this little gem of a book fell into my lap at the right place and right time. I like the work that Agrawal has done around community and the fun tools that she shares for how to find your friends and community.
Making lists, ven diagrams and other tools that helped me see what kind of people I want to draw into my life is useful. And taking a deeper dive into our dreams for community and our world is never a bad thing and some of you might find this a useful pathway there.
Making lists, ven diagrams and other tools that helped me see what kind of people I want to draw into my life is useful. And taking a deeper dive into our dreams for community and our world is never a bad thing and some of you might find this a useful pathway there.
November 1, 2019
Thankyou Workman Publishing and Netgalley for an ARC of this book.
Radha guides the reader, providing tools and ideas into how to make your place in a community. As someone who relocates regularly this was an enjoyable, useful book. Radha highlights the deep importance of having “your tribe” on our overall well being.
This book is super useful for anyone with an impending move, or for anyone who is feeling surrounded but alone in their environment.
Radha guides the reader, providing tools and ideas into how to make your place in a community. As someone who relocates regularly this was an enjoyable, useful book. Radha highlights the deep importance of having “your tribe” on our overall well being.
This book is super useful for anyone with an impending move, or for anyone who is feeling surrounded but alone in their environment.
November 3, 2019
I connected and felt challenged to grow in the first part but the second half of the book fell flat to me.
April 9, 2023
I appreciate the main premise of this book. Belonging and community and relationships are important. We need to work at building them intentionally. Here are some good quotes:
"We are born in community--fully connected to another human. Without connection, we cannot survive. It's in our DNA to belong (p. 1)."
"Work always came first and canceling on friends became normal. I spent time with people who were fine but not inspiring just because it was easier (p. 6)."
"For the first time in my adult life, I was going to be intentional about my people (p. 7)."
"As I grew more passionate about creating a community, I learned that isolation and a lack of belonging were becoming a crisis (p. 8)."
"Another study found that isolation sets off a cellular chain reaction that increases inflammation and suppresses the body's autoimmune response to diseased. We are sick from loneliness (p. 8)!"
"The 'Blue Zones,' the communities that live the longest... attribute their health and longevity to strong family ties, enjoyable social engagements, regular exercise, and eating mostly vegetables usually in community (p. 9)."
"The need to belong is fundamental (p. 11)!"
"Instead of comparing yourself to someone else... allow them to inspire you (p. 34)."
"Practice daily gratitude while brushing your teeth (p. 37)."
"Every single human is uniquely different, and at each moment we feel something different (p. 41)."
"Be gently aware of how your magical human machine is doing and make a habit of checking in with your physical self (p. 45)."
"What if, when someone is mean or comes across as harsh or abrasive, we considered 'What's in their backpack?' (p. 46)"
"Intention is about being thoughtful and purposeful about what you want (p. 47)."
"Once we become more clear about what we're really interested in and actually want, we can Go OUT and create our dream community (p. 49)."
"If we don't take time to do a Personal Values Interests Abilities assessment for ourselves, we may end up in relationships that deplete us and in misaligned communities that don't serve us (p. 52)."
"Values are the lens through which you judge what's important (p. 54)."
"Consider the compliments or gratitude you've received for things you've done. It could be as simple as being prepared and showing up with something to share. Write them all down. Community is built on sharing our gifts and abilities with the greater whole (p. 57)."
"Every one of us has something to contribute, from emotional support to organizational skills and beyond (p. 57)."
"I wanted friend who listened (p. 57)."
"I needed to be a better listener, less of a workaholic, and more accountable, as well as less critical and more forgiving (p. 58)."
"I was attracting the wrong friends because I wasn't fully showing up as myself (p. 60)."
"Positive energy is contagious (p. 65)."
"Our energy defines us, and the people we surround ourselves with help shape our energy (p. 66)."
"Energy Meter: How's the weather? Did I sleep? Did I eat? Did I sweat? How's home (p. 66)?"
"How we look or dress matters far less than the energy we emit to the world (p. 67)."
"Energy defines how we feel and how others perceive us more than any other quality (p. 68)."
"Negative energy breeds negative community. Positive energy breeds positive community. It's that simple (p. 69)."
"Energy is the invisible backbone of our lives. It controls the way we see the world, and how others perceive us. It quietly shapes our daily existence. It also controls our physical health--when we're stressed, hurt, or angry we often become physically rigid (p. 70)."
"Take some time to think about how full or empty your tank is most days and what you're doing to energize yourself (p. 71)."
"Your energy is felt by those around you, and it is within your power to control and change it at any given moment with your thoughts and actions (p. 72)."
"If we could see that we are all tuned to different channels, based on what's in our backpacks, we would feel more understood and would judge one another less negatively (p. 81)."
"At any moment, you have a choice to refresh and reset your energy (p. 84)."
"Understanding your brain chemistry is vital to understanding how to protect, reset, and increase your energy. There are four main chemicals responsible for your happiness and energy levels--Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins (p. 85)."
"Go outside and get some sun! Work out! Practice gratitude and take a moment to reflect on past achievements! Join a group or community (p. 91)!"
"Exercise! Run! Dance! Burn calories! Laugh! Listen to comedy! Learn a few jokes! Build your sense of humor (p. 92)!"
"Be the thermostat (not the thermometer) (p. 95)."
"Listening to one another allows for love and empathy to grow (p. 96)."
"'I've been so focused on work; but this year, I want to enthusiastically say yes to all social engagements with humans I want to connect with more meaningfully' (p. 97)."
"Notice how you're showing up this week. What are you saying yes and no to? Are you leaning in and saying an enthusiastic YES!!? (p. 98)"
"SHOWING UP is key to making real friends and building lasting communities (p. 99)."
"It is easy and tempting to fall into communities or groups that are convenient. Who doesn't want easy and convenient? But convenience doesn't always lead to best (p. 105)."
"Stay patient and keep going back to your Values, Interests, and Abilities, and stay authentic and true to what lights your fire. Don't just do what everyone else is doing, but stay open to opportunities that feel like a stretch for you (p. 107)."
"What would the world look like if every human participated in one day of service per year (p. 110)?"
"Ask thoughtful questions (p. 111)."
"Cook a meal and invite people over for dinner to get to know them better... Give the community something it needs... Enroll in a conference on a topic that interests you... Volunteer for a community organization (p. 112)."
"Participate in one thing outside of your normal routine for the next four weeks (p. 113)."
"Energy is your essential guide to belonging. You have to protect it but also be generous with it if you want to find real happiness and community (p. 114)."
"We often silo our close relationships into different buckets--'this is my workout friend, this is my college friend, this is my party friend, this is my Harry Potter friend'--to protect ourselves, or because it's just easier. The old paradigm was 'Don't introduce people to one another. They'll leave you behind. Protect yourself... It's just easier to have different friends for different interests.' I felt that in my twenties, and it was exhausting to juggle all these friendships that ultimately weren't even feeding me. While it was sometimes fun to run around and I always had stories to tell, I didn't feel a real commitment to anyone, which in the end made me feel empty (p. 120)."
"When I started over at thirty, I was intentional about finding friends who I could do it all with and who could love one another as a collective. Rather than being scared about connecting others, I was excited to try it without fear and with an open heart. There would be no competition and no juggling friend groups (p. 121)."
"'For the last three years, I've been so busy building communities for everyone else. I realized that I didn't have my own Inner Core Community and I had positioned myself on the outside of the communities I was helping to build (p. 123).'"
"'As soon as I began investing in my personal relationships--making a commitment to see my group of friends once a week and going deeper with each of them--I became exponentially happier and I saw the power of what I was actually building (p. 124).'"
"When you hang out with an Outer or Inner Core Community member, before you say good-bye, schedule your next hang so you have something to look forward to. Be proactive about picking the next date together, on the spot! If you have to reschedule, that's fine, but at least it's on the calendar (p. 125)."
"All he needed was intention and courage to take the first step (p. 127)!"
"Movements are built with deep intention and patience (p. 130)."
"With these Personal Core Values identified, I could now think about what kind of community I wanted to create and get really excited about (p. 134)."
"What are your non-negotiables (p. 135)?"
"Think about how you embody and/or model your Core Values (p. 135)."
"Define the constraints that will shape your community (p. 137)."
"When you get the right mix of energy in a room, it's magic, and a flourishing community becomes inevitable (p. 140)."
"When you participate in the traditions and rituals of a community, large or small, you inevitably feel a deeper connection to it (p. 142)."
"Choosing rituals requires thought and intention (p. 143)."
"Why is this community important to you? Can you stay excited about this community for a long time (p. 150)?"
"It has to be pure and authentic for it to really work (p. 151)."
"Sometimes, the more we care about others and the bigger our hearts, the more fear holds us back because we don't want to disappoint. How can we lead a life that is both empathetic and fearless (P. 152)?"
"Language is our most powerful form of communication, yet we don't always have the necessary vocabulary (p. 155)."
"A community, like a garden, needs consistent nurturing and loving attention (p. 160)."
"I think of creating new friendships and communities in similar ways to planting a garden (p. 161)."
"If you show interest in other humans and get excited about their lives, they will want to keep hanging out with you... Focus on the beauty of simply being present for the other person. Dropping in, sharing praise, and truly listening. If you can do this, you'll have friends for life (p. 162)."
"Have the courage to reach out! Be proactive and true to your word. Don't be flaky (p. 163)."
"Taking hospitality and food seriously are surefire ways to nurture and sustain your community (p. 164)."
"He lets everyone know that part of the dinner conversation will be dedicated to the question, allowing each person to share with the whole table, rather than with just the person next to them. In every case, it has led to a more connected experience (p. 164)."
"Giving gifts shows thoughtfulness and intention, and that goes a loooong way. Imaging walking into a conference room and instead of just boring white tables and a PowerPoint presentation, there was a scroll wrapped with a ribbon at every seat, containing a playful poem reflecting the values of the company (p. 166)."
"While I'm also grateful to friends who sent emails and text messages showing support, the gift of Molly's time and intention was especially moving (p. 166)."
"When you inspire your friends and community to be more playful and go on adventures, people want you around (p. 167)."
"Take initiative and be courageously silly (p. 168)!"
"Home feels like home because of the intention, love, and care that you put into it (p. 168)."
"Don't underestimate the importance of 'vibe.' Think about what mood you want to set for your gathering. Lighting can define the experience... If you activate all five senses... you'll inspire a deeper sense of belonging (p. 171)."
"Try having a full conversation without bringing up work (p. 172)."
"Five questions that beat 'What do you do?'
* What are you most excited about?
* What are you finding challenging right now?
* What's the first birthday memory you have?
* What do you spend most of your time thinking about these days?
* If you could do anything, what would you be doing? (p. 172)"
"Work out, play sports, go for hikes, and dance (p. 174)!"
"The big secret to keeping community alive is to give, give, give. Have the courage to create and invite others to participate. When you do, the world will open up to you (p. 174)."
"'What you put in is what you get out' (p. 175)."
"How we choose to embrace inevitable conflict will shape all our relationships (p. 176)."
"This is where the rubber meets the road. Conflict, and dealing with it gracefully, is Community Architecture 2.0 (p. 177)."
"It's not about conflict resolution itself--it's about considering where each person is when they're coming into a conversation in the first place (p. 178)."
"The more open and vulnerable we are with one another, the more we will understand each other and the more connected we will feel (p. 180)."
"Being left out at any age is painful and makes us want to crawl into our beds and ask ourselves if all our friends hate us... Pride gets in the way (p. 181)."
"When we don't know our own self-worth and we depend on others to feel good about ourselves, this is when we experience FOBLO the most (p. 184)."
"When you have expectations, you're going to feel resentful and will experience FOBLO. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen (p. 185)."
"We create community for two reasons--to connect the world and so we're not left out (p. 185)!"
"If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel FOBLO in the first place! Use this experience to inspire you to reach out in the future and connect more meaningfully (p. 185)."
"When you create something with a deep, true friend with whom you've overcome conflict successfully, the rewards fill your life (p. 190)."
"Try a week with NO GOSSIP and see how it makes you feel (p. 195)."
"Turn a judgment into curiosity (p. 196)."
"Conflict is unavoidable. If we can learn to look at conflict as an opportunity to grow and deepen our connection to others, we will learn to respect these moments of discomfort and stare them down courageously and with an open ear (p. 197)."
"Keep courageously participating in life. It's way more fun (p. 198)."
"I want to live in a world where intergenerational communities are the norm... Advertisers and marketers have segmented us into neat categories--Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Baby Boomers--to make it easier to sell to us... I often wonder why we segment our kids into different grades where third graders only hang out with other third graders... Let's recognize the power or intergenerational relationships and how they impact the perspective and balance of a community (p. 202)."
"Try it for your next gathering! Invite folks of all ages and see what happens (p. 204)!"
"What if instead of calling our more experienced citizens 'Senior Citizens' we honored them by calling them 'Master Citizens' (p. 207)?"
"Let us belong to a world that continues to value soulful connections over artificial intelligence (p. 208)."
"Our separation will lead to our extinction, and technological isolation is the first symptom. This is your time now, and you have all the tools you need to create the best community for your life and organization. Do it. The world needs more belonging, more love, more community, and you are needed to wholeheartedly participate in receiving and sharing your energy with others. Let's reconnect to our purpose as humans--which is to simply share and receive energy. Even money is just energy! So share that generously too (p. 211)!"
"While I know it is our human destiny to keep evolving and pushing the boundaries of what's possible, it doesn't appear that our goals are aligned with achieving a deeper sense of belonging (p. 212)."
"Imagine what the world would look like if every single human felt belonging. We would show up for real for each other. Show up to vote. Show up for the bullied kid. Show up for the bully. We would embody inclusion. Focusing on the importance of belonging is essential to our existence and survival as a species (p. 214)."
"We are born in community--fully connected to another human. Without connection, we cannot survive. It's in our DNA to belong (p. 1)."
"Work always came first and canceling on friends became normal. I spent time with people who were fine but not inspiring just because it was easier (p. 6)."
"For the first time in my adult life, I was going to be intentional about my people (p. 7)."
"As I grew more passionate about creating a community, I learned that isolation and a lack of belonging were becoming a crisis (p. 8)."
"Another study found that isolation sets off a cellular chain reaction that increases inflammation and suppresses the body's autoimmune response to diseased. We are sick from loneliness (p. 8)!"
"The 'Blue Zones,' the communities that live the longest... attribute their health and longevity to strong family ties, enjoyable social engagements, regular exercise, and eating mostly vegetables usually in community (p. 9)."
"The need to belong is fundamental (p. 11)!"
"Instead of comparing yourself to someone else... allow them to inspire you (p. 34)."
"Practice daily gratitude while brushing your teeth (p. 37)."
"Every single human is uniquely different, and at each moment we feel something different (p. 41)."
"Be gently aware of how your magical human machine is doing and make a habit of checking in with your physical self (p. 45)."
"What if, when someone is mean or comes across as harsh or abrasive, we considered 'What's in their backpack?' (p. 46)"
"Intention is about being thoughtful and purposeful about what you want (p. 47)."
"Once we become more clear about what we're really interested in and actually want, we can Go OUT and create our dream community (p. 49)."
"If we don't take time to do a Personal Values Interests Abilities assessment for ourselves, we may end up in relationships that deplete us and in misaligned communities that don't serve us (p. 52)."
"Values are the lens through which you judge what's important (p. 54)."
"Consider the compliments or gratitude you've received for things you've done. It could be as simple as being prepared and showing up with something to share. Write them all down. Community is built on sharing our gifts and abilities with the greater whole (p. 57)."
"Every one of us has something to contribute, from emotional support to organizational skills and beyond (p. 57)."
"I wanted friend who listened (p. 57)."
"I needed to be a better listener, less of a workaholic, and more accountable, as well as less critical and more forgiving (p. 58)."
"I was attracting the wrong friends because I wasn't fully showing up as myself (p. 60)."
"Positive energy is contagious (p. 65)."
"Our energy defines us, and the people we surround ourselves with help shape our energy (p. 66)."
"Energy Meter: How's the weather? Did I sleep? Did I eat? Did I sweat? How's home (p. 66)?"
"How we look or dress matters far less than the energy we emit to the world (p. 67)."
"Energy defines how we feel and how others perceive us more than any other quality (p. 68)."
"Negative energy breeds negative community. Positive energy breeds positive community. It's that simple (p. 69)."
"Energy is the invisible backbone of our lives. It controls the way we see the world, and how others perceive us. It quietly shapes our daily existence. It also controls our physical health--when we're stressed, hurt, or angry we often become physically rigid (p. 70)."
"Take some time to think about how full or empty your tank is most days and what you're doing to energize yourself (p. 71)."
"Your energy is felt by those around you, and it is within your power to control and change it at any given moment with your thoughts and actions (p. 72)."
"If we could see that we are all tuned to different channels, based on what's in our backpacks, we would feel more understood and would judge one another less negatively (p. 81)."
"At any moment, you have a choice to refresh and reset your energy (p. 84)."
"Understanding your brain chemistry is vital to understanding how to protect, reset, and increase your energy. There are four main chemicals responsible for your happiness and energy levels--Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins (p. 85)."
"Go outside and get some sun! Work out! Practice gratitude and take a moment to reflect on past achievements! Join a group or community (p. 91)!"
"Exercise! Run! Dance! Burn calories! Laugh! Listen to comedy! Learn a few jokes! Build your sense of humor (p. 92)!"
"Be the thermostat (not the thermometer) (p. 95)."
"Listening to one another allows for love and empathy to grow (p. 96)."
"'I've been so focused on work; but this year, I want to enthusiastically say yes to all social engagements with humans I want to connect with more meaningfully' (p. 97)."
"Notice how you're showing up this week. What are you saying yes and no to? Are you leaning in and saying an enthusiastic YES!!? (p. 98)"
"SHOWING UP is key to making real friends and building lasting communities (p. 99)."
"It is easy and tempting to fall into communities or groups that are convenient. Who doesn't want easy and convenient? But convenience doesn't always lead to best (p. 105)."
"Stay patient and keep going back to your Values, Interests, and Abilities, and stay authentic and true to what lights your fire. Don't just do what everyone else is doing, but stay open to opportunities that feel like a stretch for you (p. 107)."
"What would the world look like if every human participated in one day of service per year (p. 110)?"
"Ask thoughtful questions (p. 111)."
"Cook a meal and invite people over for dinner to get to know them better... Give the community something it needs... Enroll in a conference on a topic that interests you... Volunteer for a community organization (p. 112)."
"Participate in one thing outside of your normal routine for the next four weeks (p. 113)."
"Energy is your essential guide to belonging. You have to protect it but also be generous with it if you want to find real happiness and community (p. 114)."
"We often silo our close relationships into different buckets--'this is my workout friend, this is my college friend, this is my party friend, this is my Harry Potter friend'--to protect ourselves, or because it's just easier. The old paradigm was 'Don't introduce people to one another. They'll leave you behind. Protect yourself... It's just easier to have different friends for different interests.' I felt that in my twenties, and it was exhausting to juggle all these friendships that ultimately weren't even feeding me. While it was sometimes fun to run around and I always had stories to tell, I didn't feel a real commitment to anyone, which in the end made me feel empty (p. 120)."
"When I started over at thirty, I was intentional about finding friends who I could do it all with and who could love one another as a collective. Rather than being scared about connecting others, I was excited to try it without fear and with an open heart. There would be no competition and no juggling friend groups (p. 121)."
"'For the last three years, I've been so busy building communities for everyone else. I realized that I didn't have my own Inner Core Community and I had positioned myself on the outside of the communities I was helping to build (p. 123).'"
"'As soon as I began investing in my personal relationships--making a commitment to see my group of friends once a week and going deeper with each of them--I became exponentially happier and I saw the power of what I was actually building (p. 124).'"
"When you hang out with an Outer or Inner Core Community member, before you say good-bye, schedule your next hang so you have something to look forward to. Be proactive about picking the next date together, on the spot! If you have to reschedule, that's fine, but at least it's on the calendar (p. 125)."
"All he needed was intention and courage to take the first step (p. 127)!"
"Movements are built with deep intention and patience (p. 130)."
"With these Personal Core Values identified, I could now think about what kind of community I wanted to create and get really excited about (p. 134)."
"What are your non-negotiables (p. 135)?"
"Think about how you embody and/or model your Core Values (p. 135)."
"Define the constraints that will shape your community (p. 137)."
"When you get the right mix of energy in a room, it's magic, and a flourishing community becomes inevitable (p. 140)."
"When you participate in the traditions and rituals of a community, large or small, you inevitably feel a deeper connection to it (p. 142)."
"Choosing rituals requires thought and intention (p. 143)."
"Why is this community important to you? Can you stay excited about this community for a long time (p. 150)?"
"It has to be pure and authentic for it to really work (p. 151)."
"Sometimes, the more we care about others and the bigger our hearts, the more fear holds us back because we don't want to disappoint. How can we lead a life that is both empathetic and fearless (P. 152)?"
"Language is our most powerful form of communication, yet we don't always have the necessary vocabulary (p. 155)."
"A community, like a garden, needs consistent nurturing and loving attention (p. 160)."
"I think of creating new friendships and communities in similar ways to planting a garden (p. 161)."
"If you show interest in other humans and get excited about their lives, they will want to keep hanging out with you... Focus on the beauty of simply being present for the other person. Dropping in, sharing praise, and truly listening. If you can do this, you'll have friends for life (p. 162)."
"Have the courage to reach out! Be proactive and true to your word. Don't be flaky (p. 163)."
"Taking hospitality and food seriously are surefire ways to nurture and sustain your community (p. 164)."
"He lets everyone know that part of the dinner conversation will be dedicated to the question, allowing each person to share with the whole table, rather than with just the person next to them. In every case, it has led to a more connected experience (p. 164)."
"Giving gifts shows thoughtfulness and intention, and that goes a loooong way. Imaging walking into a conference room and instead of just boring white tables and a PowerPoint presentation, there was a scroll wrapped with a ribbon at every seat, containing a playful poem reflecting the values of the company (p. 166)."
"While I'm also grateful to friends who sent emails and text messages showing support, the gift of Molly's time and intention was especially moving (p. 166)."
"When you inspire your friends and community to be more playful and go on adventures, people want you around (p. 167)."
"Take initiative and be courageously silly (p. 168)!"
"Home feels like home because of the intention, love, and care that you put into it (p. 168)."
"Don't underestimate the importance of 'vibe.' Think about what mood you want to set for your gathering. Lighting can define the experience... If you activate all five senses... you'll inspire a deeper sense of belonging (p. 171)."
"Try having a full conversation without bringing up work (p. 172)."
"Five questions that beat 'What do you do?'
* What are you most excited about?
* What are you finding challenging right now?
* What's the first birthday memory you have?
* What do you spend most of your time thinking about these days?
* If you could do anything, what would you be doing? (p. 172)"
"Work out, play sports, go for hikes, and dance (p. 174)!"
"The big secret to keeping community alive is to give, give, give. Have the courage to create and invite others to participate. When you do, the world will open up to you (p. 174)."
"'What you put in is what you get out' (p. 175)."
"How we choose to embrace inevitable conflict will shape all our relationships (p. 176)."
"This is where the rubber meets the road. Conflict, and dealing with it gracefully, is Community Architecture 2.0 (p. 177)."
"It's not about conflict resolution itself--it's about considering where each person is when they're coming into a conversation in the first place (p. 178)."
"The more open and vulnerable we are with one another, the more we will understand each other and the more connected we will feel (p. 180)."
"Being left out at any age is painful and makes us want to crawl into our beds and ask ourselves if all our friends hate us... Pride gets in the way (p. 181)."
"When we don't know our own self-worth and we depend on others to feel good about ourselves, this is when we experience FOBLO the most (p. 184)."
"When you have expectations, you're going to feel resentful and will experience FOBLO. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen (p. 185)."
"We create community for two reasons--to connect the world and so we're not left out (p. 185)!"
"If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel FOBLO in the first place! Use this experience to inspire you to reach out in the future and connect more meaningfully (p. 185)."
"When you create something with a deep, true friend with whom you've overcome conflict successfully, the rewards fill your life (p. 190)."
"Try a week with NO GOSSIP and see how it makes you feel (p. 195)."
"Turn a judgment into curiosity (p. 196)."
"Conflict is unavoidable. If we can learn to look at conflict as an opportunity to grow and deepen our connection to others, we will learn to respect these moments of discomfort and stare them down courageously and with an open ear (p. 197)."
"Keep courageously participating in life. It's way more fun (p. 198)."
"I want to live in a world where intergenerational communities are the norm... Advertisers and marketers have segmented us into neat categories--Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Baby Boomers--to make it easier to sell to us... I often wonder why we segment our kids into different grades where third graders only hang out with other third graders... Let's recognize the power or intergenerational relationships and how they impact the perspective and balance of a community (p. 202)."
"Try it for your next gathering! Invite folks of all ages and see what happens (p. 204)!"
"What if instead of calling our more experienced citizens 'Senior Citizens' we honored them by calling them 'Master Citizens' (p. 207)?"
"Let us belong to a world that continues to value soulful connections over artificial intelligence (p. 208)."
"Our separation will lead to our extinction, and technological isolation is the first symptom. This is your time now, and you have all the tools you need to create the best community for your life and organization. Do it. The world needs more belonging, more love, more community, and you are needed to wholeheartedly participate in receiving and sharing your energy with others. Let's reconnect to our purpose as humans--which is to simply share and receive energy. Even money is just energy! So share that generously too (p. 211)!"
"While I know it is our human destiny to keep evolving and pushing the boundaries of what's possible, it doesn't appear that our goals are aligned with achieving a deeper sense of belonging (p. 212)."
"Imagine what the world would look like if every single human felt belonging. We would show up for real for each other. Show up to vote. Show up for the bullied kid. Show up for the bully. We would embody inclusion. Focusing on the importance of belonging is essential to our existence and survival as a species (p. 214)."
December 21, 2024
This book is chaotic and juvenile. The scribbly illustrations, different size and types of text, and gimmicky acronyms, anecdotes, and exercises are distracting.
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