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Creases
When a piece of paper is folded, it results in a crease being left behind. This crease remains as a sign of the trauma it once received. Sometimes, people can have creases.
Most days I struggle to get out of bed. I live with depression. A medical condition that is rapidly on the rise. For some, the condition will come and go in their lifetime. For some of us, it’s a chronic condition that offers little to no respite. I’m often told that it is ok to not be ok. I disagree. It’s not ok to not be ok.
For me, my depression is much more than feeling lethargic, sad or lonely. It’s the daily battle with with my voice of hate. But where can I turn to when I have no friends or family left, and that battle starts to become a little too difficult?
This is not a nice story. This is not a story about happily ever after. This is a story that unapologetically doesn’t hold back. This, is my story.
Most days I struggle to get out of bed. I live with depression. A medical condition that is rapidly on the rise. For some, the condition will come and go in their lifetime. For some of us, it’s a chronic condition that offers little to no respite. I’m often told that it is ok to not be ok. I disagree. It’s not ok to not be ok.
For me, my depression is much more than feeling lethargic, sad or lonely. It’s the daily battle with with my voice of hate. But where can I turn to when I have no friends or family left, and that battle starts to become a little too difficult?
This is not a nice story. This is not a story about happily ever after. This is a story that unapologetically doesn’t hold back. This, is my story.
54 pages, ebook
Published June 15, 2018
36 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
December 28, 2018
A view into the mind of a deeply depressed person who is virtually unacknowledged by those who should be listening. This story is not a comfortable exploration, but a very real look at the isolation and resignation of a man beset by a situation that threatens to destroy him.
August 27, 2018
Creases is a short story at 54 pages, but for its small size, it has all the emotional impact it intends to deliver as it opens a window and gives you an honest, heartbreaking glimpse into one day with depression! One! A day that starts with depression and a day that ends with depression. A day that has apathy, anxiety, worry and tears, a cry for help, an internal battle, exhaustion. I imagine someone, or myself, living this very kind of day 5475+ times – day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year- and it leaves me speechless, dumbfounded and wanting to do something about it so that no one ever has to feel this way…
Creases is not one of those stories that end on a high note, after which we all live happily ever after. Instead, it’s an unapologetic account of depression’s most evil grip. An unapologetic view of a mental health service failing someone point-blank asking for help and support. An unapologetic invite into the thoughts of a person teetering in between wanting to get better and wanting to end it all. It’s about witnessing how one moment after another fills up one side of the scales of life and death more than the other. In this story, the scales tip towards not existing. Because it happens, every day! Creases is straight up and it does not shy away or gloss over the real and most hopeless, darkest feelings and thoughts which guide a soul into the abyss of nothingness.
Creases explores the mantra of ‘It’s ok to not be ok’ which as of late has become the force to break the stigma around depression and mental health illnesses. In Creases, a question is asked- is it really ok to not be ok? Because, no matter how easily we want to find a solution to any of our problems, personal or global, it truly is not that straight forward as repeating ‘It’s ok’ over an over. To accept that we’re not ok, to live with this decision to not be okay whilst battling the healthcare system for meaningful help and support.
‘It’s ok’- in Creases, these two tiny words are a bandaid over a deep, gaping wound of a mind full of turmoil and truth. Truth about the real state of mind as it plots to give in to death in a million possible ways. We are humans with hidden depths and layers, and sometimes those layers have creases… Creases that are not okay. Creases that hurt and inject doubt. Creases that keep reminding us of those difficult times, pulling us back under…
Creases shows you what it’s like to wake up with depression and manage the morning routine, what it’s like to go to and be at work with depression, what it’s like to ask for help and what it’s like to give up… That ending was loud and clear- too many times those two words- It’s ok- were used to get from one moment to the next. As if a burden… as if an excess to society- ‘It’s ok’ turned into: ‘It’s ok, I know I’m not ok, so I am going to remove myself from the picture. Truly, it’s ok.’
It’s not ok.
You can find ‘Creases‘ on Smashwords for free in and in your preferred format.
Creases is not one of those stories that end on a high note, after which we all live happily ever after. Instead, it’s an unapologetic account of depression’s most evil grip. An unapologetic view of a mental health service failing someone point-blank asking for help and support. An unapologetic invite into the thoughts of a person teetering in between wanting to get better and wanting to end it all. It’s about witnessing how one moment after another fills up one side of the scales of life and death more than the other. In this story, the scales tip towards not existing. Because it happens, every day! Creases is straight up and it does not shy away or gloss over the real and most hopeless, darkest feelings and thoughts which guide a soul into the abyss of nothingness.
Creases explores the mantra of ‘It’s ok to not be ok’ which as of late has become the force to break the stigma around depression and mental health illnesses. In Creases, a question is asked- is it really ok to not be ok? Because, no matter how easily we want to find a solution to any of our problems, personal or global, it truly is not that straight forward as repeating ‘It’s ok’ over an over. To accept that we’re not ok, to live with this decision to not be okay whilst battling the healthcare system for meaningful help and support.
‘It’s ok’- in Creases, these two tiny words are a bandaid over a deep, gaping wound of a mind full of turmoil and truth. Truth about the real state of mind as it plots to give in to death in a million possible ways. We are humans with hidden depths and layers, and sometimes those layers have creases… Creases that are not okay. Creases that hurt and inject doubt. Creases that keep reminding us of those difficult times, pulling us back under…
Creases shows you what it’s like to wake up with depression and manage the morning routine, what it’s like to go to and be at work with depression, what it’s like to ask for help and what it’s like to give up… That ending was loud and clear- too many times those two words- It’s ok- were used to get from one moment to the next. As if a burden… as if an excess to society- ‘It’s ok’ turned into: ‘It’s ok, I know I’m not ok, so I am going to remove myself from the picture. Truly, it’s ok.’
It’s not ok.
You can find ‘Creases‘ on Smashwords for free in and in your preferred format.
September 3, 2019
This is one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever read, the feeling of hopelessness it projects onto the reader is intense. We follow the protagonist for one day of their life, from brushing their teeth to meetings at work we are there listening in on their thoughts....hearing the voice that only they can hear. It's about suffering with depression, having a internal voice, that is so difficult to ignore, constantly putting you down and saying hateful things. It's about that person desperately reaching out for help but not being taken seriously. What kind of doctor talks to somebody who admits they are suicidal and says "try to find a hobby" and asks if sent home "will they be ok?" Absolutely awful.
The book is short but it is so intense, even though it is harrowing for the reader I am grateful that Jack CJ Stark has shared it with the world. It is well worth the read just to get an insight into somebody who suffers like this, maybe next time I might be able to be more helpful and understanding.
Blow review: https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2019...
The book is short but it is so intense, even though it is harrowing for the reader I am grateful that Jack CJ Stark has shared it with the world. It is well worth the read just to get an insight into somebody who suffers like this, maybe next time I might be able to be more helpful and understanding.
Blow review: https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2019...
December 31, 2018
Creases is a short story that follows one man as he faces a day where his depression reaches a crisis point for him. Although the story is restricted to those hours, the times leading to it are very much present, as longterm depression is a way of existence, not just the crisis incidents that bring the person dealing with it to the attention of others. The story is very effective at conveying how debilitating severe mental health concerns are, and the lack of understanding of their nature, even from professionals. Throughout the story the protagonist wrestles with himself, his inner monologue portrayed as a dialogue split between two versions: one his day-to-day self, the one that is trying to find a way through; and the other ever ready to undermine and confirm his most alienated and harshly judgmental thoughts about himself.
One aspect that stood out to me is the portrayal of how paralysing a state severe depression is, when even basic physical and mental functioning takes immense effort. The scenes of the protagonist struggling with this, and the self-awareness and frustration which only compounds already dangerous levels of worthlessness, are a tough read. I’d recommend this to anyone who wants an authentic insight into how chronic depression manifests. One issue the story does highlight is how woefully insufficient and stretched mental health services are, something which needs to be addressed with great urgency.
One aspect that stood out to me is the portrayal of how paralysing a state severe depression is, when even basic physical and mental functioning takes immense effort. The scenes of the protagonist struggling with this, and the self-awareness and frustration which only compounds already dangerous levels of worthlessness, are a tough read. I’d recommend this to anyone who wants an authentic insight into how chronic depression manifests. One issue the story does highlight is how woefully insufficient and stretched mental health services are, something which needs to be addressed with great urgency.
December 6, 2018
An excellent little glimpse of hopelessness.
Depression is so difficult to write about because it's maybe a complete absence of meaning. How do you tell a meaningful story about meaninglessness? This is a good example of how :)
Depression is so difficult to write about because it's maybe a complete absence of meaning. How do you tell a meaningful story about meaninglessness? This is a good example of how :)
November 14, 2019
I think Jack is a great author who has struggled with a lot of sad stuff in his time and I 've know Jack since I was 6 years old and he cares about family ,friends and his god daughter Abigail and I want Jack to be happy
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews