I reserve 5 star ratings for books that leave me sitting speechless, not knowing what to do with my life, the moment I have to shut their covers.
Lizzie left me heartbroken.
Now I just read a ton of negative reviews complaining about how inaccurate it was, but the idea is that it was a FICTIONAL REIMAGINING. Neither of those words mean it has to be accurate to the real life story. Anyways though. I am a huge sucker for A) kind characters, B) misunderstood characters/characters with crappy lives they don't deserve, and C) lesbian romances. This book had all of that, plus mental illness issues, murder, and a huge, heartbreaking twist at the end.
I fell in love with Dawn Ius' version of Lizzie from the moment she began to talk about cooking. The way Ius wrote, I was truly in Lizzie's shoes, feeling the hurt of her stepmother's words, finding solace in her cooking, and finally feeling the thrill of adventure when she met Bridget. I felt the unnatural shock of her episodes right along with her; when I read about them, it didn't feel like the Lizzie I had been living through, and returning back to her was uneasy and jarring, just like how she felt. I felt her desperately attempting to swipe away all the bad thoughts, and, especially in Boston, I felt it all melt away into pure joy and euphoria when she got to run hand in hand with Bridget.
I began to suspect that Bridget wasn't real once Lizzie mentioned that none of the Boston photos turned out, but I shook it off. Then, more dread began to settle in once Andrew mentioned the citrus grater. It all slowly began to fall into place, and once that fateful line was spoken - "Who the hell is Bridget?" - it was done. From that point on, I straight up bawled for the rest of the book, from Bridget leaving to Lizzie finding the bodies to the courtroom to what she thought was Bridget's room. It was heartbreak after gut-wrenching heartbreak, all piled on top of the shimmering hope of the culinary school and the increasingly worrying episodes that had been occuring. Dawn Ius built up hope for this beautiful, pure character, while simultaneously destroying her, before finally shattering the one constant in her life, the one silver lining she had.
The real Lizzie Borden was from the 1800's - that time period always feels detached, and somewhat unreal, to me. But this Lizzie became a part of me. Ius placed my heart in hers so that, the whole time I was reading, all I wanted was for her to be okay, even though I knew what would eventually come (well, part of it). It was beautifully written - the illness, the episodes, the pain, and the whimsical love story. It all fused together into one heartbreaking novel that left me utterly speechless...and with only a scarf in a near empty drawer to attempt to patch up what had just been destroyed.