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Embracing the Journey
A sympathetic, compassionate, and inspiring guide for parents, from the founders of one of the first Christian ministries for parents of LGBTQ children.
Greg and Lynn McDonald had never interacted with members of the LGBTQ community until they discovered that their son was gay—and without resources or support, they had no idea how to handle this discovery. At first they tried to “fix” him, to no avail. But even in the earliest days of their journey, the McDonalds clung to two absolutes: they would love God, and they would love their son.
This book follows the McDonald family’s journey over the next twenty years, from a place of grief to a place of gratitude and acceptance that led the McDonalds’ to start one of the first Christian ministries for parents of LGBTQ children. Based on their experience from counseling and coaching hundreds of struggling Christian parents, they offer tools for understanding your own emotional patterns and spiritual challenges. They also help you experience a deeper relationship with God while handling difficult or unexpected situations that are out of your control. You will discover tested principles, patterns, and spiritual lessons that can change the way we all see our families, and help Christians at large think though Christ-like ways to respond to the LGBTQ community.
Written in an unvarnished, honest, reassuring, and relatable voice, this is a practical guide for parents and a roadmap to learning to love God, the people He created, and the church, even when they seem to be at odds.
Greg and Lynn McDonald had never interacted with members of the LGBTQ community until they discovered that their son was gay—and without resources or support, they had no idea how to handle this discovery. At first they tried to “fix” him, to no avail. But even in the earliest days of their journey, the McDonalds clung to two absolutes: they would love God, and they would love their son.
This book follows the McDonald family’s journey over the next twenty years, from a place of grief to a place of gratitude and acceptance that led the McDonalds’ to start one of the first Christian ministries for parents of LGBTQ children. Based on their experience from counseling and coaching hundreds of struggling Christian parents, they offer tools for understanding your own emotional patterns and spiritual challenges. They also help you experience a deeper relationship with God while handling difficult or unexpected situations that are out of your control. You will discover tested principles, patterns, and spiritual lessons that can change the way we all see our families, and help Christians at large think though Christ-like ways to respond to the LGBTQ community.
Written in an unvarnished, honest, reassuring, and relatable voice, this is a practical guide for parents and a roadmap to learning to love God, the people He created, and the church, even when they seem to be at odds.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published March 5, 2019
71 people are currently reading
615 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
November 7, 2018
If you are a Christian parent whose child has recently come out to you, please, please take the time to read this account of Greg and Lynn’s efforts to reconcile their faith in Jesus Christ with their desire to love their son well. Had my husband and I found a book like this after our 12-year-old son came out back in 2001, it very well would have changed everything. We would have recognized ourselves in the McDonalds’ fears and anxieties, and through their gentle promptings learned to listen both to God’s voice and to the cries of our child rather than hearing only our own panicked thinking.
This unflinchingly honest & humble telling effectively demonstrates how so many of us who love our children [passionately] can, unintentionally, cause grievous harm because of our desire to obey God’s Word and to see that our children do, as well. If you want to remain committed to your faith while also preserving your relationship with your child, friend or family member, set aside a few hours to consider what Greg & Lynn have learned. What you discover might just save a life.
This unflinchingly honest & humble telling effectively demonstrates how so many of us who love our children [passionately] can, unintentionally, cause grievous harm because of our desire to obey God’s Word and to see that our children do, as well. If you want to remain committed to your faith while also preserving your relationship with your child, friend or family member, set aside a few hours to consider what Greg & Lynn have learned. What you discover might just save a life.
May 2, 2021
To my queer family: be very gentle with yourself if you choose to read this book. This is a message of love, no doubt, but it can be very triggering.
This is very much rooted in Christianity and directed to Christians. If you’re no longer a Christian, it could be hard to get through. Extending grace and taking deep breaths helped me a lot. I am glad to see that Christians are responding positively to the book though. This might mean that there will be a shift in attitude and behavior.
This family is white sounds very privileged. It was hard to fully relate as a Black person in America.
It’s difficult to “pat someone on the back” per se for being a good human being and showing love, especially if they’re a Christian. But I’m not that naïve and I know the definition of Christianity and Christian is vast and often times contradictory to who I understood Jesus to be.
I think this book and their ministry can save lives and do a significant amount of healing which are things I fully support.
Easy read. Finished in a day.
This is very much rooted in Christianity and directed to Christians. If you’re no longer a Christian, it could be hard to get through. Extending grace and taking deep breaths helped me a lot. I am glad to see that Christians are responding positively to the book though. This might mean that there will be a shift in attitude and behavior.
This family is white sounds very privileged. It was hard to fully relate as a Black person in America.
It’s difficult to “pat someone on the back” per se for being a good human being and showing love, especially if they’re a Christian. But I’m not that naïve and I know the definition of Christianity and Christian is vast and often times contradictory to who I understood Jesus to be.
I think this book and their ministry can save lives and do a significant amount of healing which are things I fully support.
Easy read. Finished in a day.
June 26, 2021
Embracing the Journey is a book designed for Christian parents whose child has come out as part of the LGBTQ+ community. The authors, Greg and Lynn McDonald take you through their 20-year journey with their son who came out to them. They share all their mistakes and how they went about learning to accept their son even when it went against everything they learned in church. Through this journey, they started a ministry to help other families to love their family members who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. The Mcdonald's mission is to help families show love without judgment.
Audio book source: Hoopla
Narrator: Danny Campbell & Cassandra Campbell
Length: 6H 8M
May 21, 2022
Being totally honest- I think this book gets a bit cheesy at times. But…after the church we called home for close to 13 years had a very anti-LGBTQ speaker come this summer and knowing our oldest has gay friends, I needed something. In the end, this book gives me hope.
March 26, 2021
highly highly highly recommend for parents of lgbtq+ children, and lgbtq+ children with struggling parents.
the authors do an incredible job of respectfully detailing their own struggles with their son’s coming out process, while simultaneously advocating for the lgbtq+ community. they are careful to own up to their past mistakes and acknowledge & apologize for any hurt caused, and for fellow children like myself who have been hurt by religious family members/religion itself, reading this book is both incredibly hopeful and incredibly soothing.
well done!
the authors do an incredible job of respectfully detailing their own struggles with their son’s coming out process, while simultaneously advocating for the lgbtq+ community. they are careful to own up to their past mistakes and acknowledge & apologize for any hurt caused, and for fellow children like myself who have been hurt by religious family members/religion itself, reading this book is both incredibly hopeful and incredibly soothing.
well done!
May 14, 2022
I appreciate their humility, vulnerability, and authenticity in telling their family story. I enjoy the back and forth between Greg and Lynn. I would've liked to have heard how they navigated the "clobber verses" in the scriptures that they struggled with in accepting their son. Not from a researching or Bible study point of view but their own personal wrangling. Overall I enjoyed reading this book and thought they made some great observations and applications for parentsof LGBTQ to walk in love towards rheir children while following Jesus.
May 27, 2022
Written expressly for an evangelical audience, this book was a beautiful tribute to their child and the journey they took to love him for who he is. Told with great humility and honesty. I wish more evangelicals took seriously Gods command to Love Others, and expressed it with as much humility and generosity as the McDonalds. (4 stars is mainly bc I wasn’t the target audience, and I did some skimming)
June 11, 2022
Excellent book about the McDonald’s experience when their son came out as gay. Embracing the Journey offers hope to any parent with an LGBTQIA loved one. The McDonalds are a wonderful example of Christians who greatly love their son and do not view their love as incompatible with their Christian values. A very honest read from parents who have a ministry that makes a big difference.
November 14, 2022
This is a helpful book for Christian parents who want to love their LGBTQ child well. It strongly encourages parents to keep the lines of communication open with their kids and not reject them. The authors share their own story in a vulnerable way so that other parents can learn from their mistakes. The book is less helpful for situations in which an LGBTQ child rejects their Christian parents, an experience which seems to be increasingly common today. However, it still offers perspective and a posture shift that can help when the child is ready for relationship.
July 27, 2022
Simple message learned from a long journey. Maybe too simple. I hate that we have to write extensively about practicing unconditional love. But if we do, I'm glad they did.
Rather than educational, this book is a shared comradery for those who have felt and struggled and loved like them. It's telling their honest story over coffee. For that it is valuable.
I appreciate that the parents were so transparent about their struggles and failures - and joys!- in their journey to loving their child exactly as he was. For those who need this simple and direct message- love unconditionally- this book is essential. I had to remind myself that they were writing of a journey they began decades ago and had no resources to refer to at the time, only ignorant, hurtful messages from the church. Jesus has VERY different things to say than these messages. This book may be a good resource for the initial shock, or older generations, but didn't educate on the issue or give practical guidelines/advice. I recommend the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender for further resources on this topic.
Rather than educational, this book is a shared comradery for those who have felt and struggled and loved like them. It's telling their honest story over coffee. For that it is valuable.
I appreciate that the parents were so transparent about their struggles and failures - and joys!- in their journey to loving their child exactly as he was. For those who need this simple and direct message- love unconditionally- this book is essential. I had to remind myself that they were writing of a journey they began decades ago and had no resources to refer to at the time, only ignorant, hurtful messages from the church. Jesus has VERY different things to say than these messages. This book may be a good resource for the initial shock, or older generations, but didn't educate on the issue or give practical guidelines/advice. I recommend the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender for further resources on this topic.
December 2, 2019
Truly, this book is life-changing and freeing for any Christian parent of an LGBTQ child. I so appreciated their honesty and following their story of evolution and development. I'm seriously considering joining their organization as a volunteer in my part of the country one of these days. I would be honored to make an impact on other parents the way the McDonalds are doing around the country. I was slightly disappointed that Greg and Lynn didn't address how to fend off those who spout the "clobber verses," but then they explained why they didn't at the end of the book. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
July 12, 2025
3.5 stars - Parts of this book were wonderful, especially the teachings about loving others without judgment and trying to discern and understand what Jesus would do. As a parent of an LGBTQ adult child, we have had to pray through this as well, and it has challenged us and challenged our faith to go deeper than we otherwise would have ever thought about. However, there are a few areas where we have come to some different conclusions than these authors.
1) The authors seem to have concluded that on some level God created their son to be gay. We reject that premise based on our beliefs about how God designed his creation and the institutions of marriage and family.
2) We differ in our stance on sleeping arrangements in our home for unmarried couples. The McDonalds changed their stance because they realized they were handling their son's same-sex relationship differently than heterosexual couples. However, we would have advocated changing in the opposite direction so that NO unmarried couples (gay or straight) would be allowed to sleep in the same room/bed together.
3) And finally, regarding attendance at a child's same-sex wedding, we made the decision that while we will absolutely show love and respect, we must stop short of "celebration" of sin. The authors justify their position by referencing Jesus as attending meals and "celebrations" with sinners. Yes, he pursued sinners, spent time with them and even ate with them in their homes, but that does not mean he "celebrated" their sin. He showed love and respect to be sure--otherwise people would not have enjoyed being around Him! Instead, they were drawn to Him, which tells us a lot about how He must have interacted with them--not with judgment or "preaching" but with compassion, friendship, and love.
4) The authors used the story of the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus by the Pharisees as an example of Jesus' grace by not condemning her. I agree with this, but he ended with "go and sin no more." As the authors pointed out, he offered grace BEFORE that instruction, so his grace was not conditional on her response. This is true! But unfortunately, we do not have the benefit of observing an ongoing relationship between them to know what he would have done or said if he kept related to her knowing that she was continuing in sin. In most cases, sinners generally repented after an encounter with Jesus. But we do not know whether she did, or how he might have engaged with her later if she didn't. Jesus loves us unconditionally. But he also loves us enough not to let us stay where we are. Clearly, none of us is Jesus, so the analogy is not perfect, of course. But we believe that while we must ACCEPT reality of where people are, and love them unconditionally, we do not have to EMBRACE (celebrate) their sin.
I believe a better approach, and the one we have tried to adopt in our own family, is described in Rosaria Butterfield's book titled "Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age" which I highly recommend if you are a parent, friend, or family member in this situation. We also rely heavily on the principles in the book "Never Too Late: Encouraging Faith in Your Adult Child" by Rob Rienow.
All that being said, I am truly grateful for the ministry and outreach of Greg & Lynn McDonald because it is so true that the LGBTQ community has been too often rejected and deeply hurt by the Christian community. And we need to change that, so I am thankful for their efforts in that regard. Showing the love of Christ for every soul created by and in the image of God is always the right thing to do. And I agree that the outcome and the futures of our LGTBQ loved ones are out of our control and we must fully hand them over to the Lord, trusting Him to work in their hearts, while our job is to love them and pray for them and for wisdom in how we are to engage with them.
I admit that there is very little in this book that I fully disagree with; it just didn't quite hit right for me as a parent seeking God's will in these issues. It was certainly worth the read, and much of the information is helpful. But I'm not sure I can wholeheartedly recommend it to others who are on this journey, like I would with some other resources.
1) The authors seem to have concluded that on some level God created their son to be gay. We reject that premise based on our beliefs about how God designed his creation and the institutions of marriage and family.
2) We differ in our stance on sleeping arrangements in our home for unmarried couples. The McDonalds changed their stance because they realized they were handling their son's same-sex relationship differently than heterosexual couples. However, we would have advocated changing in the opposite direction so that NO unmarried couples (gay or straight) would be allowed to sleep in the same room/bed together.
3) And finally, regarding attendance at a child's same-sex wedding, we made the decision that while we will absolutely show love and respect, we must stop short of "celebration" of sin. The authors justify their position by referencing Jesus as attending meals and "celebrations" with sinners. Yes, he pursued sinners, spent time with them and even ate with them in their homes, but that does not mean he "celebrated" their sin. He showed love and respect to be sure--otherwise people would not have enjoyed being around Him! Instead, they were drawn to Him, which tells us a lot about how He must have interacted with them--not with judgment or "preaching" but with compassion, friendship, and love.
4) The authors used the story of the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus by the Pharisees as an example of Jesus' grace by not condemning her. I agree with this, but he ended with "go and sin no more." As the authors pointed out, he offered grace BEFORE that instruction, so his grace was not conditional on her response. This is true! But unfortunately, we do not have the benefit of observing an ongoing relationship between them to know what he would have done or said if he kept related to her knowing that she was continuing in sin. In most cases, sinners generally repented after an encounter with Jesus. But we do not know whether she did, or how he might have engaged with her later if she didn't. Jesus loves us unconditionally. But he also loves us enough not to let us stay where we are. Clearly, none of us is Jesus, so the analogy is not perfect, of course. But we believe that while we must ACCEPT reality of where people are, and love them unconditionally, we do not have to EMBRACE (celebrate) their sin.
I believe a better approach, and the one we have tried to adopt in our own family, is described in Rosaria Butterfield's book titled "Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age" which I highly recommend if you are a parent, friend, or family member in this situation. We also rely heavily on the principles in the book "Never Too Late: Encouraging Faith in Your Adult Child" by Rob Rienow.
All that being said, I am truly grateful for the ministry and outreach of Greg & Lynn McDonald because it is so true that the LGBTQ community has been too often rejected and deeply hurt by the Christian community. And we need to change that, so I am thankful for their efforts in that regard. Showing the love of Christ for every soul created by and in the image of God is always the right thing to do. And I agree that the outcome and the futures of our LGTBQ loved ones are out of our control and we must fully hand them over to the Lord, trusting Him to work in their hearts, while our job is to love them and pray for them and for wisdom in how we are to engage with them.
I admit that there is very little in this book that I fully disagree with; it just didn't quite hit right for me as a parent seeking God's will in these issues. It was certainly worth the read, and much of the information is helpful. But I'm not sure I can wholeheartedly recommend it to others who are on this journey, like I would with some other resources.
July 1, 2024
If you are a Christian parent of an LGBTQ child and have struggled with how to love God and love your kiddo, this book is for you. Greg and Lynn McDonald write honestly and vulnerably about their 20-year-long journey with their son, who hadn’t intended to come out to them until after college because he was afraid they would no longer support him or his schooling when they found out. The McDonalds don’t provide definitive answers about how to read scripture the right way when it comes to morality. Instead they share their story and the work that a loving God has done in their hearts and lives to bring hope, healing, restoration, and joy through their relationship with their son.
January 18, 2020
Received long ago as a goodreads giveaway. Meh.
Was initially curious what could be different for Christian parents as Jesus preached love and acceptance.
Actually, the first half or so could have been titled ‘the modern hypocrite’s guide to bigotry’, or something like that. However, they eventually figured it out - What would Jesus do? just love and accept your child...
They did provide useful ‘key takeaways’ at the end of each chapter, but still, it shouldn’t be so difficult to just be good humans....
I applaud their ongoing efforts - love and acceptance, as it should be.
Was initially curious what could be different for Christian parents as Jesus preached love and acceptance.
Actually, the first half or so could have been titled ‘the modern hypocrite’s guide to bigotry’, or something like that. However, they eventually figured it out - What would Jesus do? just love and accept your child...
They did provide useful ‘key takeaways’ at the end of each chapter, but still, it shouldn’t be so difficult to just be good humans....
I applaud their ongoing efforts - love and acceptance, as it should be.
July 3, 2021
I’d say this would ideal to read if you are a Christian parent who suspects your child may be LGBTQ+ The authors do not shy away from sharing even their most vulnerable, awkward responses to their experience. The authors take turns narrating the process of being non affirming evangelical Christians to affirming Christians. Spoiler, it took years and a lot of painful growth but it happened. They specifically do not address where they stand on the hot topic specifics because they believe God brings each person to their own conclusion. The theme of this book is ultimately love.
July 1, 2023
The middle and end of this book make it worth reading. I had trouble tracking at the beginning, but the sections on “surviving” and “thriving” were encouraging. This is the first resource I’ve found about Christians actively loving members of the LGBTQ community instead of just reacting with Bible verses and shutting others out. The practical suggestions in this book make it worth reading. I didn’t agree with everything the writers say, but I feel like they address the most important things and offer practical advice that goes much deeper than what other books have offered.
June 17, 2021
Filled me with hope
Very down to earth and practical, while also being filled with compassion and loving family stories of lessons learned.
I’d recommend it to parents and relatives as well as church leaders a like, on how to navigate family, gender and faith. Such an amazing resource, that I truly believe will help bridge many gaps. I loved it and hope to share wonderful insight from this book with my community and hopefully practice in my own family
Very down to earth and practical, while also being filled with compassion and loving family stories of lessons learned.
I’d recommend it to parents and relatives as well as church leaders a like, on how to navigate family, gender and faith. Such an amazing resource, that I truly believe will help bridge many gaps. I loved it and hope to share wonderful insight from this book with my community and hopefully practice in my own family
July 7, 2021
The journey of parents of a gay son after he comes out to them. The parents show vulnerability and honesty about their foibles, their failures, and how they have learned and are learning how to better relate to their son as followers of Jesus. There is much to be gleaned from their experience for people who experience disagreement in their family about LGBTQ ethics. What can it look like to disagree with the ethics of your children without withholding love?
September 14, 2022
This is an absolute necessity resource for parents of kids who are on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. The McDonald's handle the topic with grace and truth. As they tell their story, they reveal their own failures and missteps along the way in order to help others not make the same mistakes, failures, and the steps in the raising of their own children. Their truthfulness and vulnerability is not only humbling, it is also extremely helpful.
May 23, 2023
If you have kids or students in your life, regardless of how they identify, this book is a must read because their world is much different than the world we (I) grew up in when it comes to sexuality. I found this book gave me helpful language and questions to think through as I interact with my own kids and their friends about what sexuality and gender is/means and as I walk with compassion w/others in my life who are LGBTQIA.
August 30, 2022
This is a book that could be helpful for anyone supporting a loved one who identifies as LGBTQ+. The authors had come from a very conservative church background, and when their son came out as gay in high school, they wanted to fix him. This is their story about how they sought God and learned to love and affirm their son. They now lead a ministry helping other parents on the same journey.
August 8, 2023
Having a family recently come out, I wanted to help her parents be more loving to her while not losing faith. I love her so much, and I want her to know that God loves her, too, and He made her perfectly just the way she is. This book, as another review noted, was a little cheesy, but I hope it will provide a first step for her parents.
December 8, 2023
compassionate book
It’s a compassionate book on parenting LGBTQ child and their journey from fear to survival to thrive. As a parent whose child is in LGBTQ community, the book resonates a lot of my experiences especially my early experience of fear. I hope I will make the leap to thriving with God’s abundant grace.
It’s a compassionate book on parenting LGBTQ child and their journey from fear to survival to thrive. As a parent whose child is in LGBTQ community, the book resonates a lot of my experiences especially my early experience of fear. I hope I will make the leap to thriving with God’s abundant grace.
March 12, 2024
I read this book with my own Christian parent in mind, whose views and discomfort I've argued with and cried about. While there were parts of this book I personally disagreed with, it was a deeply honest account that helped me better understand my parent and gave me hope they might be able to understand and love me better, too.
May 20, 2023
Such a great book for anyone with friends or kids in LGBTQ+ community. I have so much to learn and the church can do so much better. It’s a must read for parents of LGBTQ+ kids and such a great resource for anyone wanting to be a better ally and friend.
September 12, 2019
Loved this book! It gave me so many new ideas and they have such a beautiful perspective. Highly recommend!
January 13, 2021
Wonderful book
This book is wonderful for any parent to read, whether your child is part of this community or not. It is real, honest, and true.
This book is wonderful for any parent to read, whether your child is part of this community or not. It is real, honest, and true.
November 2, 2021
Beautifully written from wonderful, honest, authentic parents. I am so glad that they wrote this book and I hope that it is read by ALL families of queer children and even heterosexual parents. It is a story about true love and what it means to be parents. Unconditional love.
January 20, 2022
Super helpful. Going to buy a hard copy of this one.
April 15, 2023
Absolutely positively awful. VERY scriptural unsound. Would never ever ever recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews