Between Us Guys: Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons

Between Us

by Joel Fitzpatrick

This easy-to-use, life-changing book for fathers and sons gives readers the tools to have important conversations with boys about life, faith, and being a man. With a conversational and captivating tone, fathers and other caregivers are guided into having gospel-focused conversations with boys about a wide range of topics from social justice and friendships to money, anger, and more.

Dads are given an incredible opportunity to be one of the primary influences in their children’s lives for the gospel. By inviting conversations in every arena of life, fathers pass down the message of Christ to the next generation. As a youth and family pastor and father to a young boy who’s entered into many of these conversations, Joel Fitzpatrick knows it’s important not to shy away from difficult subjects.

But he also knows dads and other caregivers need help in how to have intentional conversations with boys about God, themselves, and what difference knowing the gospel makes to their everyday life. Fitzpatrick invites fathers to share with their sons how the gospel shapes all aspects of life, including how they treat women, people from other ethnic groups, and much more. Specific, practical help is given to dads through suggested activities, God’s Word, and insightful questions.

In a world where television, the internet, social media, and gaming culture have taken away from quality time spent between fathers and sons, Between Us Guys urges readers to lean in to important conversations with the grace and knowledge of Christ.

Genres: Parenting, Family

128 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2019

About the author

Joel Fitzpatrick has served as an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America with a focus on youth and family. He received his MDiv from Westminster Seminary California. Joel lives in southern California with his wife of 16 years and their two children.

Reviews

[Theron John · Rating 4 out of 5]

For fathers: If you want to go beyond just the formal times of instruction and learn how to intentionally turn topics of everyday life into conversations of eternal significance, then get this resource. If there was ever a guide to equip you to share how the gospel shapes every area of life even for the elementary student, this would be it. Dads, you need this resource!

See full review at: http://www.entrustedbygod.org/2019/08...

[Carl Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. As a father and a Youth & Family minister, this book has already been very helpful to me. It isn't a difficult book at all. You could easily read it in a day and be done with it, but thankfully this book is written to be used. The book covers a number of different topics and helps fathers talk to their sons about them. It is not terribly deep, but that's the point in getting these conversations started. It doesn't matter if you've had plenty of good conversations with your sons or if you're completely new to it, I believe this book will be a good guide for you. Fitzpatrick does well in making sure the father and son are both open with each other, providing good questions for each to answer, and then looks at a topic, the way we fail at it, and how Jesus makes us whole again.

I've already started using it for my Bible class on Sunday morning, and while it is geared towards father's and sons it isn't hard to adapt it into a discussion to have with your daughters too for most topics.

I received a copy of this from Netgalley in response for an honest review.

[R.J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clearly, I am not the intended audience for the book, seeing as how I’m neither a dad nor a son, but I like trying to find family books to recommend to my friends. Plus, my husband and I both hope to have kids one day so this book may benefit my husband one day.

I really like the conversational tone of this book. It’s written from a dad to his son, so it can be read aloud to your son and sound totally natural. There are questions sprinkled throughout each chapter to break up the reading and allow the opportunity to engage into some conversation that has substance. I think, if done well and completely, it would probably be a 30 minute session, including the activities, Bible reading, devotional, and conversations. It could be up to an hour or more if the conversations and activities are longer though, so that’s where it would be up to you and your son.

I really like the topics that were chosen and focused on, they are a bit different than I’ve seen in the parental books I’ve read before. In addition to the main topics you will almost always find in father/son books (girls, friends, and sex), there are chapters dedicated to generosity, money, neighborly/godly love, both the church family and biological family, how to handle disappointment, money, and more. This book is definitely a tool to be used to start conversations about life in general, to develop a relationship. Not necessarily a “training” or “teaching” workbook for you to teach your son only. It’s purpose is to get you and your son talking, about all areas of life, and I really liked that. It’s not preachy to the son, and some of the questions for dads will require some vulnerability on the dad’s part.

I thought each topic was handled very well and are enlightening. Each topic is backed up with scripture and broken down by how God intended it, how sin messed it up, how Jesus took the sin for us and handled it Himself, and how we should live in Jesus’ example now. I thought that pattern was really good and incredibly applicable to all areas that were discussed. I will actually be using that pattern in my own Bible study just because I think it helps to understand how to apply the scriptures.

The only thing that I really think was missing is in the Girls chapter. As much as I love (and agree!) that dads should be training their boys to be respectful and protective of girls, I would have liked to see a warning to the sons to beware of manipulative and abusive girls and how to handle those situations in particular. One thing I’m seeing more and more as I get older is the affects of boys being taught to be gentlemanly, respectful, and passive when it comes to girls, and many girls are taught to “beat up any boy who hurts you”. In the situations I’ve been in with my friends over the years, and as I watch my baby brothers (okay, they’re not babies anymore…but still) grow up and be their gentlemen, respectful selves, girls are mean. They play with feelings and know how to bring a guy down without lifting a finger, it’s all words. And boys need to know how to handle situations in which girls are just plain mean and they need to know the difference between a disagreement and a girl playing with a guys’ feelings. So I would have liked to see a section in the Girls chapter to open up the conversation on that, just because I don’t think it’s a topic that is addressed often–if ever.

But overall, I do think this is a great asset to have on the bookshelves. It’s easy to read and I think it would be a great Bible study for a group of fathers and sons to do, but even more beneficial if done one-on-one. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

I received this book from the author/publisher via NetGalley for the purpose of this review. All comments and opinions are entirely my own.

This is a LiteratureApproved (.com) Review.

[Ko Matsuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is quite a good book. Fitzpatrick walks you through 14 very different and very real topics ranging from friendship, generosity, disappointment, to money, sex, and play. He takes these topics and walks through how each of these are inherently good, how we mess them up, how we can view this in the light of the Gospel, and how we can live in light of that knowledge. This narrative is repeated over all 14 topics.

The book is compact enough that you can read it in one sitting, or you can spend 10 minutes reading each section before sitting down with your son. There is nothing quite like it.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between us guys is a great book for fathers to read and then read with their sons. I’m not a father, but the topics discussed covered a wide range and provide a good base of conversations as boys move in preteen ages and then eventually teenage years. The pattern that these discussions follow is also very helpful. In terms of the discussion itself, an activity is suggested to start and questions are included to make it flow more naturally and with more enjoyment than just sitting down and chatting, especially in the beginning. The consistent headings of the discussions are really helpful in moving through as it anchors everything in Christ and His work in us to bring us back into relationship with God and reduce the effects of the fall. Whilst this works for 9-11 year olds, the content can be adapted for older ages as well. Scriptures are included frequently, and appendices cover sharing the Gospel between father and son as well as the importance of family worship and bible reading outside of the church. The entire book is conversational and easy to read.

I was provided a free ebook from NetGalley but all thoughts are my own.

[Elijah Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great for dads of elementary/middle school aged boys. The chapters are short and digestible but still thought provoking. The gospel is woven in to every chapter.

[Spencer R · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can read my fuller review at Spoiled Milks (7/8/19).

Joel Fitzpatrick, a father of two, aims to help fathers with sons who are in elementary school and up, with some chapters being meant for the later years.

His book covers topics of friendship, school, work, identity, play, love, generosity, strength, money, girls, sex, defending others, disappointment, and failure and perfection. At the beginning of each chapter, Joel gives a summary of the road ahead. He provides the chapter’s theme, how to get to Jesus, and a suggested activity you can do to live out the chapter’s teaching with your son.

Each chapter also has four sections: “We were created for this” shows what we were created for. “Sin has broken us all” shows what has gone wrong. “Jesus died to make it better” shows how, well, following Jesus sets things right. “How to live with love” shows that because God loves us when we fail, we can love others when they fail us.

The chapters can be read directly to your son, or you can use them as a springboard for your own spin on the topic. Whichever you choose, Fitzpatrick’s book is very helpful in giving you fourteen different topics to talk about with your son.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how the author describes the differences between man and then there's a man.
By this, I mean some fathers are not around all the time for some reason or another. Then, there are men that really enjoy being a father and want to be around their children.
When I first opened this book I felt kind of weird because this was a book that talks about how to be a father to their sons or son.
I learned quite a lot of interesting things about what it takes to be a father and not just make the baby and then leave or just being around for show. ( Not the word I'm looking for but maybe I'll find it later)
The author engages us in some wonderful biblical pamessages throughout the book.
I think this book would be wonderful to use in Bible studies or Sabbath School/ Sunday school.
It would also be a wonderful gift to give someone.
I strongly recommend this book.
I received this book from the publisher with no compensations received. All opinions are my own!