My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound

by Jed Diamond

Heal Your Family Father Wound and Finally Understand Why You… * Struggle in your love life * Worry about money and success * Allow male anger to negatively influence your life * According to National Center for There is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. It is the family father wound. We focus on the importance of mothers in determining the well-being of children. Yet, without the support of their fathers, men become disconnected from their true selves, feeling that others are controlling their lives. The family father wound may be the most pervasive, most important, and least recognized problem facing men and their families today. However, the family father wound, resulting from physical or emotional absence, has been largely ignored. Disconnected males, without a strong sense of inner guidance, can become abusive towards women and destructive towards men. We’ve seen this with the outpouring of sexual abuse allegations involving many prominent men. More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency. The male anger and rage we see in everything from domestic violence to school shootings has its roots, I believe, in trauma resulting from growing up in families with disconnected and dysfunctional fathers. Yet, this childhood wounding can be healed. My 15th book, My Distant Healing the Family Father Wound is an adventure story to find the father I lost when I was five years old. It’s also a tale of redemption and healing for both my father and myself. The trauma of growing up with an absent father contributed to my own bouts of depression, sexual addiction, and destructive relationships. For the first time, I share the raw, personal, life experiences and my own healing journey. Learning about my mother’s lost father, who died when she was five years old, helped me understand that the father wound impacts women as well as men. Healing inter-generational wounds put me on the path of becoming a psychotherapist who has been helping men and the families who love them, healing my clients as I have learned to heal myself. As a psychotherapist who has treated more than 30,000 men and women over my long career, I have seen the devastating impact absent fathers can have on the lives of their children and how the wounding causes problems at all stages of life. Boys and girls who experience the father wound often become adults who unknowingly wound their own children. Once I recognized and understood the prevalence and importance of the father wound, I could help people recover from problems that had previously been resistant to both medical and psychological interventions. According to the National Center for Fathering, “More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.” For fifty years I’ve been helping men and the women who love them. During that time, I’ve become one of the world’s leading experts on men’s issues and have written a number of trend-setting books including Looking for Love in All the Wrong Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions (G.P.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology

297 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 16, 2018

About the author

Jed is Director of the MenAlive, a health program that helps men live long and well. Since its inception, Jed has been on the Board of Advisors of the Men’s Health Network. He is also a member of the International Society for the Study of the Aging Male and serves as a member of the International Scientific Board of the World Congress on Men’s Health.

Diamond has been a licensed psychotherapist for over 40 years and is the author of seven books including the international best-selling Male Menopause ... His PhD study on gender and depression developed vital new information for treating depression in men.

He lives with his wife, Carlin, on Shimmins Ridge, above Bloody Run Creek, in Northern California. They are proud parents of five grown children and eleven grandchildren.

Reviews

[Robert Case · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a keeper; one that resonates on many levels. Now that I've finished, it will end up on the memoir shelf of the home library, complete with dog-eared pages and highlighted lines. The local bookstore might classify it as self-help. But, "My Distant Dad" is more than that. The book is rooted in the fertile soil of the author's life experience, growing up in southern California in the middle of the twentieth century. The writing is candid and fearless. It bears the hallmarks of a hero's journey, superimposed on a lifetime of pursuing knowledge about men and their social and psychological health.

Within its pages I could not help but examine more closely my relationship with my Dad and how it evolved over the years. So I highly recommend this book to men interested in knowing themselves better, and who feel the desire to become more. We men can be so much more than just the job we hold. We have to cultivate and demonstrate healthier ways of expressing our emotions, especially the fear and the anger. This book offers empowerment and guidance toward that end. So I recommend it highly to male readers who want to become more, and to the women who love them.

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Men don't talk to each other about personal matters. We certainly don't unburden ourselves about something as complicated as our relationship with our dads. So it is easy to think that our friends and acquaintances are sailing through life and have rich and rewarding relationships with their fathers. OK, deep down, I know that's not true but I didn't have any evidence.... until now.

In this ground-breaking book, Jed Diamond, a therapist with over forty years experience, opens up not just about his father but how his disappearance (into a mental institution and after he escaped from it onto the streets) has been the single most important moment in his life. What Diamond calls the father wound has not only effected his relationship with other men but women too. He writes about his failed marriages, the addictive qualities of relationships with dangerous women, male depression and his own mental health problems. Nothing is off limits. And that's what makes this book so precious. It's got me wondering whether I should write about my relationship with my father.

I can't wait to share this book with my male clients and discover what resonates with them.

[Laurent · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star - did not finish

The main reason for the 1 star is false advertising. I got into this book wanting to learn about how distant fathers can impact our development. I was looking for answers for my own situation. Instead I got a memoir of a man who grew up with a dad in a mental hospital.

As a memoir or a case study, the book works great. As a non-fiction treaty on the topic of fatherhood, it is a zero.

[Fed · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wonder why do I keep reading books based on the title only!!
It was not what I was looking for.

The good points he have mentioned are:
- Denial will delay the diagnosis (obviously). But mainly it happens because we resist to be like our parents.
- Father wound could come from the mother’s wound with her father as well

Listing famous Jews’ names doesn’t mean anything! It doesn’t validate you (the author) nor your points of view.
I didn’t like most of the book. I kept reading hoping I’ll find the insights I’m here for.

[Arlinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful Insights

What great insights for healing past wounds! I didn't realize( until now) the impact of not having my father around. I would HIGHLY recommend this book.

[Andy Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

A potent memoir with lessons for all who grew up with an emotional or physically absent father.