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Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out
Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.
192 pages, Paperback
Published March 26, 2019
2379 people are currently reading
6552 people want to read
About the author
Jim Burns
262 books63 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns daily half-hour, daily one-minute, and weekly half-hour radio programs. His passion is communicating to adults and young people practical truths to help them live out their Christian lives.
Jim is the author of many resources including his latest books The Purity Code: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body, Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality and Accept Nothing Less: God’s Best for Your Body, Mind and Heart. In recent years, he has also written Confident Parenting and Creating an Intimate Marriage which are available in audio CDs, books, and small group curriculum kits; The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family; Devotions on the Run; and Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results kit. Since 1985, HomeWord has been assisting parents and churches worldwide through radio, resources, seminars, and the web at www.homeword.com. Jim writes monthly columns for Ignite Your Faith magazine and Simply Youth Ministry newsletter and website.
Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns daily half-hour, daily one-minute, and weekly half-hour radio programs. His passion is communicating to adults and young people practical truths to help them live out their Christian lives.
Jim is the author of many resources including his latest books The Purity Code: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body, Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality and Accept Nothing Less: God’s Best for Your Body, Mind and Heart. In recent years, he has also written Confident Parenting and Creating an Intimate Marriage which are available in audio CDs, books, and small group curriculum kits; The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family; Devotions on the Run; and Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results kit. Since 1985, HomeWord has been assisting parents and churches worldwide through radio, resources, seminars, and the web at www.homeword.com. Jim writes monthly columns for Ignite Your Faith magazine and Simply Youth Ministry newsletter and website.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 752 reviews
March 21, 2021
2.5 stars. Although I realize I’m not the target audience for this book, a lot of the content made me want to scream. There are some excellent, wise, helpful pointers in here for sure - especially regarding learning not to give unsolicited advice. There’s also a lot of “don’t worry....your adult child will realize that you’re right and they’re wrong eventually. Then they’ll come running home to you”. The assumption is that the parent is always right (RE: values, life choices etc.) and as a young adult this was a frustratingly narrow perspective. I would have liked to see a deeper discussion on how to listen thoughtfully and value what your adult children have to share.
February 16, 2021
Why not read a book from a completely opposing perspective to yours every so often, that was absolutely not intended for you, for the sake of curiosity? To give the author due credit, this is the sort of book would have appealed to the bible bashing elements of my family, and if they read and followed the advice in there, a lot of problems could have been avoided. The advice within is mild, generic, peacekeeping and in alignment with the general inoffensive pop-psychology guidance that you would find in a typical airport bookstore, just with an added bible verse here and there. Such as:
'your adult kids want you to listen and they don't want you to lecture them'
'if you want your adult kids to stop acting entitled, stop paying for their rent and phone and car'
'take an interest in what your adult child is interested in'.
This book was written by a white, wealthy Christian boomer for other white, wealthy Christian boomers who do American things like 'paying for college', talking at length about 'living by biblical money management and stewardship principles' and having existential crises when their children do things like 'cohabitation' and 'promiscuity'. It encourages parents to reconnect with their adult children by paying for their wedding, doing grandparenting, listening and 'being fun' so that they can happily put off interrogating any of the common reasons their millennial children are avoiding them (homo/transphobia, supporting Trump, being racist).
The book is short and doesn't attempt to tackle issues with any sort of nuance, the most salient example being the anecdote of the 'friend from the church who's wife left him for another woman and then his daughter got married to another woman 25 years her senior but 'straightened out' after receiving counselling and coming back to church'. Ticking all the boxes of 'this is what liberal gay agenda wants', 'prodigal child redemption arc' and 'this is why we shouldn't stray from biblical gender roles'. There are other anecdotes like 'sorority girl goes wild and fails all her subjects until mom gets tough and makes her take out financial aid until she lifts her grades' and 'basement dwelling son plays videogames while mom does all the cooking and washes his underpants until dad gets tough and calls a _family meeting_'. A lot of the 'case studies' are Dr Phil minus the ranch.
It doesn't deal with any of the causes of fractured relationships or situations where children have legitimate grievances with their parents (or the church for that matter) that require a solution beyond bribing them to attend church through breakfasts at IHOP or pacifying in-laws with free childcare.
So of course I couldn't put it down.
'your adult kids want you to listen and they don't want you to lecture them'
'if you want your adult kids to stop acting entitled, stop paying for their rent and phone and car'
'take an interest in what your adult child is interested in'.
This book was written by a white, wealthy Christian boomer for other white, wealthy Christian boomers who do American things like 'paying for college', talking at length about 'living by biblical money management and stewardship principles' and having existential crises when their children do things like 'cohabitation' and 'promiscuity'. It encourages parents to reconnect with their adult children by paying for their wedding, doing grandparenting, listening and 'being fun' so that they can happily put off interrogating any of the common reasons their millennial children are avoiding them (homo/transphobia, supporting Trump, being racist).
The book is short and doesn't attempt to tackle issues with any sort of nuance, the most salient example being the anecdote of the 'friend from the church who's wife left him for another woman and then his daughter got married to another woman 25 years her senior but 'straightened out' after receiving counselling and coming back to church'. Ticking all the boxes of 'this is what liberal gay agenda wants', 'prodigal child redemption arc' and 'this is why we shouldn't stray from biblical gender roles'. There are other anecdotes like 'sorority girl goes wild and fails all her subjects until mom gets tough and makes her take out financial aid until she lifts her grades' and 'basement dwelling son plays videogames while mom does all the cooking and washes his underpants until dad gets tough and calls a _family meeting_'. A lot of the 'case studies' are Dr Phil minus the ranch.
It doesn't deal with any of the causes of fractured relationships or situations where children have legitimate grievances with their parents (or the church for that matter) that require a solution beyond bribing them to attend church through breakfasts at IHOP or pacifying in-laws with free childcare.
So of course I couldn't put it down.
February 5, 2020
Parenting books for kids are everywhere, but no one told me that parenting adult kids would be the hardest phase. This is a must read. I actually think people who are engaged with any adult kids in relationships should read it.
May 2, 2025
I read this with a friend who is in the same boat trying to navigate the world that is now living life with adult children. It’s a tough stage of life when you’ve spent the better part of 18-20 years providing, teaching, supporting, loving, caring for, [fill-in-the-blank…] your children. Now it’s a new world, one where you’re not needed and you’re not asked for help for many things. Your emerging adults are figuring out their own lives and how to do it all themselves.
This was a fantastic book that had some excellent advice for parents in this stage. Now we have a new role in the life of our children, one that is a waiting game where we don’t give unsolicited advice and don’t push our own agendas and dreams upon our beloved. I especially liked that chapter “Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out.” Realizing the generational differences in the cultures of our children and our own is important. The chapter that focused on our children’s “failure to launch” made me realize that we can get in the way and not allow them to bloom when we enable them in areas like finances. I really appreciated the biblical approach and the encouragement that children who stray from their faith and values taught as children find their way – and we parents have prayer in order to lift them up.
I highly recommend this to anyone especially if you’re just starting this phase of empty nest. You’ll find some valuable advice.
This was a fantastic book that had some excellent advice for parents in this stage. Now we have a new role in the life of our children, one that is a waiting game where we don’t give unsolicited advice and don’t push our own agendas and dreams upon our beloved. I especially liked that chapter “Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out.” Realizing the generational differences in the cultures of our children and our own is important. The chapter that focused on our children’s “failure to launch” made me realize that we can get in the way and not allow them to bloom when we enable them in areas like finances. I really appreciated the biblical approach and the encouragement that children who stray from their faith and values taught as children find their way – and we parents have prayer in order to lift them up.
I highly recommend this to anyone especially if you’re just starting this phase of empty nest. You’ll find some valuable advice.
March 10, 2020
This book should be required reading for parents of kids ages 18 on up. Full of really practical wisdom. I heard the author speak a few years ago at my son’s university and he had a couple of insights I’ve used regularly. I didn’t realize this stage of parenting would be so tricky: when to offer wisdom, finances, how to parent without enabling and how to parent with A.W.E (affection, warmth, encouragement)
Good Stuff!
Good Stuff!
September 16, 2020
Practical, common sense advice about setting boundaries and building bridges with adult children who are either just starting into adulthood, stuck in a failure-to-launch, making self-destructive choices, or have walked away from Jesus. There is also a decent chapter on grandparenting.
What was missing is the reason I picked it up. I wanted to understand how parents can relate well to their children who are functional, independent adults who simply approach life differently from their parents. I have run into a number of people at my church who feel distressed that their children have embraced beliefs or behaviors that differ from what they grew up with. Their kids aren’t imploding or apostatizing, but they do reject some of the values and choices (ahem, politics) of their parents. This puts a strain on the relationship, and these parents want to know what to do. This book would be stronger if there was more on that dynamic.
What was missing is the reason I picked it up. I wanted to understand how parents can relate well to their children who are functional, independent adults who simply approach life differently from their parents. I have run into a number of people at my church who feel distressed that their children have embraced beliefs or behaviors that differ from what they grew up with. Their kids aren’t imploding or apostatizing, but they do reject some of the values and choices (ahem, politics) of their parents. This puts a strain on the relationship, and these parents want to know what to do. This book would be stronger if there was more on that dynamic.
November 21, 2023
Ahhhh....my adult children. This is a line I seem to be trying to figure out. Sometimes I think, "I got this," and other times I'm just not sure what I said that sent them fleeing.
How to be supportive but yet keeping the lecturing temptation to a minimum....I wish that was easy to do and that it all came naturally but unfortunately, it doesn't.
This book had some great advice. I need to reread this one. So 4 stars.
How to be supportive but yet keeping the lecturing temptation to a minimum....I wish that was easy to do and that it all came naturally but unfortunately, it doesn't.
This book had some great advice. I need to reread this one. So 4 stars.
December 10, 2022
As I reach yet another phase of parenting - that of a parent of a 19yo who officially lives at home but doesn’t really and a 17yo who I don’t think will ever fly the coop - this title and by line really sounded like something I could listen to and learn from. It was ok - some good and practical ideas that are relatively straight forward concepts. I guess it’s good to read what common sense is and be reminded that we are not in this gig alone. BUT … there was much about this book that really really irked me. It felt like it was being written from a “privileged position” where wealth and holidays and college was standard. Secondly it was all largely framed with the attitude that the parent is always right. And thirdly and most irritating for me this book was very very Christian, interspersed with bible quotations and a whole chapter ( which I skipped) dedicated to what happens when your adult child no longer follows your faith. When a chapter on finances quoted some rubbish about God holding all the riches I rolled my eyes and groaned out aloud. So it’s not a book for everyone and not really for me either apart from getting some good advice . The two main pieces I took away - 1. “ keep the welcome mat out and hold your tongue” ( in the title!!!) and 2. That if you have to offer advice ( which we have done in spades from birth to 18) it needs to be provided sparsely and kindly as these young adults usually are ready to turn this advice into criticism.
December 10, 2019
I thought this was quite good--really worth reading. I actually would recommend parents read this earlier than the title might make you think (perhaps when teens are 14-16) as he has some good information about training our children to handle finances and it would prepare a parent to be proactive with expectations instead of reactive in dealing with issues.
I thought there were some good tips to help if your adult child is "failing to launch", and the chapter about entitlement and enabling was also particularly good (how could I get away with handing this book to a certain few people, I wonder. . .NO! Mind your own business, Shonya!) There were also some excellent tips for adding in-laws to the family and being being both fun and God-honoring in the grandparenting season.
There were a couple of points I didn't completely agree with. For example, he had some different counsel/reaction than I think I would regarding "children not embracing my values" and I didn't agree with his attitude toward the culture and its effect on our children. He seems to think it's expected that culture will influence our children more than we can and we just have to accept it. I don't think it has to be that way, nor do I think it is good to just passively give in.
But overall, I am glad to have read this book. I thought the section on the season of "emerging adulthood" was especially interesting (and new to me) as psychologists now say the stages of life are: infancy, childhood, adolescence, emerging adulthood, adulthood, and senior adulthood."
I thought there were some good tips to help if your adult child is "failing to launch", and the chapter about entitlement and enabling was also particularly good (how could I get away with handing this book to a certain few people, I wonder. . .NO! Mind your own business, Shonya!) There were also some excellent tips for adding in-laws to the family and being being both fun and God-honoring in the grandparenting season.
There were a couple of points I didn't completely agree with. For example, he had some different counsel/reaction than I think I would regarding "children not embracing my values" and I didn't agree with his attitude toward the culture and its effect on our children. He seems to think it's expected that culture will influence our children more than we can and we just have to accept it. I don't think it has to be that way, nor do I think it is good to just passively give in.
But overall, I am glad to have read this book. I thought the section on the season of "emerging adulthood" was especially interesting (and new to me) as psychologists now say the stages of life are: infancy, childhood, adolescence, emerging adulthood, adulthood, and senior adulthood."
May 26, 2019
Lots of helpful advice here! Although, admittedly, keeping my mouth shut, as the subtitle suggests, is a great challenge!
November 9, 2022
“Keep your mouth shut and the welcome mat out.”
Having adult children has been an incredible joy for my husband and me. This book has some pretty useful advice on how to relate to them. I think it will be helpful.
Having adult children has been an incredible joy for my husband and me. This book has some pretty useful advice on how to relate to them. I think it will be helpful.
May 5, 2024
This was a helpful book with many great tips on doing life with adult children. My daughter is at the beginning of adulthood and my son is in his late teen years so I feel the timing is perfect for reading this book. The loss/lessening of control has been much harder than I ever expected, but I am starting to feel the relief and joy that this stage of life brings as they take ownership of their lives and become independent. I appreciated the variety of topics covered in this book from launching your children into adulthood, in-laws, step/blended families, and grandkids. Excellent read!
Whenever we experience a loss, we need to grieve it. If we don’t grieve the relationship we once had with our children, we won’t be able to embrace the new relationship we want to have with them. When our children no longer need us the way they once did, that’s a loss.
Transitioning to a new role isn’t all loss and tears. There is also some serious fun to be had! You can’t determine the outcome of your children’s lives, so shift your focus to creating fun and enjoyable experiences you can share.
Instead of steering your children in the way you think they should go, trust that experience is a much better teacher. When you give them the independence and respect they desire, they’ll learn from their experiences of victory and defeat. If we keep our mouths shut and keep the welcome mat out, we increase the odds that our children will come to us for guidance on their own. If we choose to continue giving them unwanted advice, even if it’s great advice with the best of intentions, our intrusive counsel will ultimately hurt the relationship.
Whenever we experience a loss, we need to grieve it. If we don’t grieve the relationship we once had with our children, we won’t be able to embrace the new relationship we want to have with them. When our children no longer need us the way they once did, that’s a loss.
Transitioning to a new role isn’t all loss and tears. There is also some serious fun to be had! You can’t determine the outcome of your children’s lives, so shift your focus to creating fun and enjoyable experiences you can share.
Instead of steering your children in the way you think they should go, trust that experience is a much better teacher. When you give them the independence and respect they desire, they’ll learn from their experiences of victory and defeat. If we keep our mouths shut and keep the welcome mat out, we increase the odds that our children will come to us for guidance on their own. If we choose to continue giving them unwanted advice, even if it’s great advice with the best of intentions, our intrusive counsel will ultimately hurt the relationship.
February 21, 2021
Needed This
Man, oh man! I found out things I’ve been doing all wrong and things I need to start doing. I received so much insight and a little affirmation about my parenting. Adult children are tough. I’d take terrible twos any day over parenting adult children.
This was a quick read for me. I needed this for right now, and for the future. This will help. I’ll probably be telling everyone I see about this book.
Man, oh man! I found out things I’ve been doing all wrong and things I need to start doing. I received so much insight and a little affirmation about my parenting. Adult children are tough. I’d take terrible twos any day over parenting adult children.
This was a quick read for me. I needed this for right now, and for the future. This will help. I’ll probably be telling everyone I see about this book.
January 2, 2023
Did Not Finish. And Just NO. A more apt title would be Doing Life with Jesus. It’s written from a deeply Christian perspective, with an undercurrent of intolerance, puritanical morality and judgement. GROSS.
March 29, 2022
This is great advice. It would be a good idea to read it even before your kids leave the nest.
August 22, 2022
I just finished the audiobook. I loved it from start to finish! He covers so many areas when it comes to being parents of adult children. Highly recommend!
January 12, 2022
In the beginning, you think the hardest part of parenting comes with diapers, bottles, and sleepless nights with a crying infant. It isn't until your kids start growing up that you realize each phase brings a unique set of challenges. Toddlers put everything in their mouths, refuse to eat, fight sleep, and climb on everything. Adolescents have no concept of money and don't realize that writing in marker on their dresser drawers, jumping on the couch feet first, or throwing a ball in the house can result in mom and dad having to come up with the money to replace furniture or appliances they hadn't budgeted for that month. Teenagers come with hormones and a search for identity that often result in emotional outbursts of one kind or another. Most parents think that's the worst of it and in many ways it is. Yet, adult children present their own challenges.
This is where I'm at in my life. My kids are now adults. One has a family of his own in a little apartment not too far from his childhood home. The other still lives at home while he completes his college degree. They both have significant others and the oldest has blessed me with my first grandchild.
Adjusting from being involved in all aspects of their lives to respecting their autonomy as young adults has been interesting. I've definitely made some blunders along the way and expect that, even with the best of intentions, I'll likely make more in the future. It's hard letting go. It's hard keeping opinions and unsolicited advice to myself. Sometimes I step on toes and hurt feelings, which is not what I want to do. Not at all! So, when I stumbled across this book with its catchy little title, I figured I'd give it a listen.
Overall, I'd say this book was definitely worth the listen. What I didn't realize by the title alone, which is all I read before picking it up, is that it was written by a pastor. There's a heavy lean on Christian faith in the text. Bible quotes popped up in almost every section. There were also a few spots that made me a little uncomfortable when it came to discussing lifestyle choices because my personal belief system is not nearly so conservative. However, pushing through those passages was worth it. The majority of the book focused on practical and sound advice. It transcended faith and focused on how to love your children without alienating them or their significant others. It reminded me that the bulk of my job as a mom had happened already and now I'm here to offer support and my unconditional love. My job really is to keep my mouth shut most of the time and when I am invited to speak on serious matters to tread lightly.
I also agreed with his encouragement to be the fun grandparent to your babies' babies. Leave the parenting to the parents while you create a warm, safe, encouraging space for your grandchildren to enjoy.
I think this book will stick with me.
This is where I'm at in my life. My kids are now adults. One has a family of his own in a little apartment not too far from his childhood home. The other still lives at home while he completes his college degree. They both have significant others and the oldest has blessed me with my first grandchild.
Adjusting from being involved in all aspects of their lives to respecting their autonomy as young adults has been interesting. I've definitely made some blunders along the way and expect that, even with the best of intentions, I'll likely make more in the future. It's hard letting go. It's hard keeping opinions and unsolicited advice to myself. Sometimes I step on toes and hurt feelings, which is not what I want to do. Not at all! So, when I stumbled across this book with its catchy little title, I figured I'd give it a listen.
Overall, I'd say this book was definitely worth the listen. What I didn't realize by the title alone, which is all I read before picking it up, is that it was written by a pastor. There's a heavy lean on Christian faith in the text. Bible quotes popped up in almost every section. There were also a few spots that made me a little uncomfortable when it came to discussing lifestyle choices because my personal belief system is not nearly so conservative. However, pushing through those passages was worth it. The majority of the book focused on practical and sound advice. It transcended faith and focused on how to love your children without alienating them or their significant others. It reminded me that the bulk of my job as a mom had happened already and now I'm here to offer support and my unconditional love. My job really is to keep my mouth shut most of the time and when I am invited to speak on serious matters to tread lightly.
I also agreed with his encouragement to be the fun grandparent to your babies' babies. Leave the parenting to the parents while you create a warm, safe, encouraging space for your grandchildren to enjoy.
I think this book will stick with me.
September 15, 2021
We think that when our children turn 18, parenting ceases. Not at all! It's just another stage of parenting, but oftentimes a slippery one to navigate. This book was full of fresh insights that helped me know when to speak up with my adult daughters and when to keep quiet!
Highly recommend!
Highly recommend!
July 22, 2019
Good book. Great concept. A little light, perhaps a better article not a book.
March 20, 2024
WOW!!! Loved this book!!!
May 2, 2022
I had multiple people recommend this book to me, and so, eventually, I bought it.
The first thing I'd like to say to parents reading this book is "Love ... always hopes." - 1 Corinithians 13:7.
The focus of the book seemed to be on adult kids that delay leaving the nest due to various unwise choices. Not leaving the nest doesn't seem to be our issue at the moment with adult children, although I do realize that some kids do boomerang back into it, and we still have a teen at home who hasn't reached the adult years yet. So we are not safely out of the possibility of that realm, either.
So there were about three chapters of this 9 chapter book (so, 1/3 of it) that was N/A that my review won't cover.
In the introduction, the author mentioned that his nine principles were discovered and refined with his own adult children, which makes the engineer in me cringe a little and say that his sample-size for these recommendations was very small. n=3 adult children
The book read better than that, though, because he'd talked at conferences and gatherings, as well as with people he'd counselled on other issues and so I think that in reality n > 3, although he didn't say what n is. Nor did he talk about very many cases where those in the gatherings disagreed or had opposite experiences or additional insights. He did talk about a couple opposite experiences, but it was not the focus of the book.
Sometimes we just have to take it as wisdom gleaned from years of practice and not a scientific study. Sometimes that's the best we can do. ;)
"What are you doing to maintain your [own] emotional, physical, relational, and even spiritual health?" I remember, in the events following my dad's death, watching as my mom did things for herself in each of those categories, perhaps more reflexively than intentionally, but consistently nonetheless. And although I loved on her, I remember thinking that was exactly what I needed from her at that moment - the knowledge that she was taking care of herself, and the example that she set in taking care of herself.
To parent with AWE - affection, warmth, and encouragement
"You can choose the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret." That's true not only in young adults learning financial stability, but also in others areas of life as well. Dieting comes to mind.
"Delayed gratification is the answer." Again, that's one that can apply to so many things in life, including dieting.
There's the concept of validating and respecting their adulthood.
The chapter on loving your child's spouse would be good for other relationships as well.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." - James 1:19
"Adult children don't distinguish between what we consider an innocent remark or desire to fix a problem, and parental control." This one felt odd to me, probably because I seldom, if ever, felt controlled. [One of my sisters felt differently here, so there's a difference in personality coming into play.]
If my parents told me as a teen or young adult what worked well for them, I would generally enjoy the glimpse into a different time and place and consider it - appreciate it - but feel no compulsion to act likewise - or to fight it, either, for that matter. Either choice did not diminish my relationship with my parents. They would treat me the same.
Automatically feeling like someone's trying to control me is a foreign concept to me. Or automatically trying to do things differently just to be different, either.
"When you are intrusive and give unsolicited guidance, your kids don't hear it and they view it as a sign of disrespect." Again, this just feels like a foreign concept to me - feeling disrespected just because someone offers a word of advice. I generally appreciated the attention and the thought for me, whether or not I followed the advice.
"Don't make it about you; make it about the health of the relationship." Well, the first part of this I'd unreservedly agree with. Good parenting is never "all about" the parent. But sometimes there are more important goals than the health of the relationship. I can understand turning that phrase on its head and preserving relationship to preserve influence for the more important things over time. But sometimes there are more important things than being well liked.
There are even examples often in this book in the setting financial boundaries sections. I think of their functioning independence as being important because one day, if the normal flow of events occur, the parents will not be around to protect and provide and guide their adult children. And other things can be more important than relationship as well.
But I also think of Matthew 7:6 where Jesus said, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." NIV. Sometimes we need to refrain from casting our pearls of wisdom around because it only aggravates them - as painful as it is to compare them to swine or to dogs. It's not that we are classifying them as pigs, but that their own behavior in their reactions to pearls - acting like this - classifies them.
On the other hand, I remember a beloved uncle saying that he never wanted to say or do anything that drove his children away, even when they disagreed. I remember his son once calling his dad (my uncle) his best friend. And another time, much later on, he said that everything his dad ever said, ever warned him about was true.
A nitpick: Proverbs 22:6 was quoted a few times in this book, but it was elevated from a proverb to a promise. While I do have a very high view of all scripture, I distinguish between the types of literature in it. Promises are where God says, "I promise ..." or "I swear by Myself ..." and proverbs are things that usually come true, but are not quite promises. They are pearls of wisdom, natural outcomes that usually occur, but there are exceptions.
For example, take the proverb:
"Lazy hands make a man poor,
but diligent hands bring wealth."
- Proverbs 10:4, NIV
Those who work hard often do profit from it, but that hasn't always been the case throughout history. Slaves haven't. Or if someone works hard for something, then another person comes along and steals it. The expected outcome is that those who work hard benefit from it. It's the normal, usual flow of events, but it's not a promise.
I like A. W. Tozer's analogy of truth being like a bird with two wings, that we should balance scripture with scripture because a one-winged bird doesn't fly very well.
One example of diligence not leading to wealth is yet another proverb:
"A poor man's field may produce abundant food,
but injustice sweeps it away."
- Proverbs 13:23, NIV
It disturbs me a little when people take things to be promises that aren't ... I am always afraid they will be doubly-disillusioned if it doesn't come true, and perhaps disillusioned in God as well.
One example of it being wise proverbs, but not promises, comes when the Proverbs give opposite pieces of advice. We'd call it "being between a rock and a hard place." One example that can be pertinent to this discussion is
"Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.
"Answer a fool according to his folly,
or he will be wise in his own eyes."
- Proverbs 24:5-6, NIV
(We have all acted like fools at one time or another. And again it is not we that classify someone as a fool, but it is their behavior. Biblically, and especially in Proverbs, there are many character-traits for fools.)
Wisdom, of course, knows which one of those conflicting Proverbs to pick in a given situation - or the Holy Spirit, as we pray. Or perhaps wisdom recognizes that either way you go, there's no winning this one, or different benefit-cost analysis for each direction to go. But the second proverb of the conflicting pair above shows an aspect that this book didn't consider much - that if we don't speak up, the "fool" won't realize the dangerous direction he's headed. I think this book assumes that such words have already been spoken and disregarded, which puts a different light on it. And yes, as the book said, sometimes reality is a hard teacher, but it does teach natural consequences.
This all brings me back to the proverb that was quoted several times in this book, and often in various Christian parenting books:
"Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."
- Proverbs 22:6, NIV
I would say that's the normal, expected end result - the usual result - but not a promise. That is an important distinction because I think we live in unusual times, at least for our nation, especially as contrasted with those during the times these Proverbs were written, in which our elders are under-valued, and in which youthful peers, which are always important to one, now has an exaggerated importance, and rebelliousness is glorified, not for some noble purpose, but merely for the sake of rebelliousness itself. And there's "Because of the increase of wickedness, the [family] love of most will grow cold ..." - Matthew 24:12, NIV. Current culture is always important to one, but it has become more important than perhaps it has in other eras, to the exclusion of other influences.
Failing to recognize this comes into play in preparing a child for society, but also, failing to recognize this may place more blame on the parents of a wandering child than is warranted. As the old saying goes, God is the perfect Parent, but look at how His children turned out!
There's a couple other comments I've heard on that proverb (22:6.) One is that while the proverb talks about what the child will do when he/she is old, it doesn't mention anything about the middle years. It includes many who wander and who do return to faith.
Secondly, that phrase "the way he should go" is customized for each child, and includes such things as their career and hobbies and interests. I saw my cousin's grandfather (from her other side of the family) out gardening at 99 years of age, and when I asked him about it, he said that when he was about three, his mother took him out gardening with her. It made me smile, and think of this verse.
What would I say to all those parents who put their hope in that verse as a promise, rather than as a proverb? ... I don't know, because hope is a very fragile, essential thing, but we want to put our hope in the right things. I would say to put your hope in God Himself.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills —
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth."
- Psalm 121: 1, NIV
I find it interesting that after I wrote the above book review, I listened to a podcast about pitfalls in reading the Bible. #2 on the list talked about treating Proverbs like promises and even listed the "Train up a child ..." Proverb discussed above. Anyway, it's worth listening to and probably said it better than I did:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iBXUYdN...
One reviewer called this book a Dr. Phil-like book. Some complained that there was so much scripture; others that there was hardly any. I would've said that there was a scant amount, but that it was there. I'm guessing maybe 6 passages for the entire 9 chapters. I could be wrong. There could have been more. But it wasn't expository in that it wasn't pulling out the meaning of the passages and then applying them. They were just part of the thought-flow.
Several people complained that this book didn't touch on dysfunctional families or when the adult kids have legitimate complaints about their parents. It automatically assumed the parents were right. And there definitely could - and should - have been more humility in that area. He did talk about the James passage about being quick to listen being for parents, too, as well as talking about the power of an apology. So, I'm not sure it entirely always considered the parents to be the right ones, but it did seem to lean in that direction for most of the book. Otherwise, those ideas could be chapters, or even books, of their own.
Favorite quotes:
"You must love them enough to let them go."
"Be encouraging but not intrusive."
"We focused on cheering whatever we could affirm."
"Words don't always lead to connections, but enjoyable connections lead to words."
"If you don't give them respect, it pretty much guaranteed they will close the door on your guidance."
"We can never underestimate the power of an apology to bless and heal a relationship."
"Change always involves a sense of loss." - C. S. Lewis
"Maturity often requires making adjustments to our hopes, dreams, and lifestyles."
"Their crisis doesn't need to be your crisis."
"Get to know her beyond what is breaking your heart."
"God, I release my children to Your loving and tender mercies."
"Time, circumstances, and God's relentless love have a way of bringing the wanderers home."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Anglou
"Every day I find reasons amid my pain to be thankful for life." - Joni Eareckson Tada
"God promises to walk with you through the shadow of death and back."
"Be the in-laws who make it easy for them."
"You have done so much for me, God, and even when I am old and gray, I will continue to declare your power and love to the next generation." - Jim Burns' paraphrase of Psalm 71:17-18
The first thing I'd like to say to parents reading this book is "Love ... always hopes." - 1 Corinithians 13:7.
The focus of the book seemed to be on adult kids that delay leaving the nest due to various unwise choices. Not leaving the nest doesn't seem to be our issue at the moment with adult children, although I do realize that some kids do boomerang back into it, and we still have a teen at home who hasn't reached the adult years yet. So we are not safely out of the possibility of that realm, either.
So there were about three chapters of this 9 chapter book (so, 1/3 of it) that was N/A that my review won't cover.
In the introduction, the author mentioned that his nine principles were discovered and refined with his own adult children, which makes the engineer in me cringe a little and say that his sample-size for these recommendations was very small. n=3 adult children
The book read better than that, though, because he'd talked at conferences and gatherings, as well as with people he'd counselled on other issues and so I think that in reality n > 3, although he didn't say what n is. Nor did he talk about very many cases where those in the gatherings disagreed or had opposite experiences or additional insights. He did talk about a couple opposite experiences, but it was not the focus of the book.
Sometimes we just have to take it as wisdom gleaned from years of practice and not a scientific study. Sometimes that's the best we can do. ;)
"What are you doing to maintain your [own] emotional, physical, relational, and even spiritual health?" I remember, in the events following my dad's death, watching as my mom did things for herself in each of those categories, perhaps more reflexively than intentionally, but consistently nonetheless. And although I loved on her, I remember thinking that was exactly what I needed from her at that moment - the knowledge that she was taking care of herself, and the example that she set in taking care of herself.
To parent with AWE - affection, warmth, and encouragement
"You can choose the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret." That's true not only in young adults learning financial stability, but also in others areas of life as well. Dieting comes to mind.
"Delayed gratification is the answer." Again, that's one that can apply to so many things in life, including dieting.
There's the concept of validating and respecting their adulthood.
The chapter on loving your child's spouse would be good for other relationships as well.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." - James 1:19
"Adult children don't distinguish between what we consider an innocent remark or desire to fix a problem, and parental control." This one felt odd to me, probably because I seldom, if ever, felt controlled. [One of my sisters felt differently here, so there's a difference in personality coming into play.]
If my parents told me as a teen or young adult what worked well for them, I would generally enjoy the glimpse into a different time and place and consider it - appreciate it - but feel no compulsion to act likewise - or to fight it, either, for that matter. Either choice did not diminish my relationship with my parents. They would treat me the same.
Automatically feeling like someone's trying to control me is a foreign concept to me. Or automatically trying to do things differently just to be different, either.
"When you are intrusive and give unsolicited guidance, your kids don't hear it and they view it as a sign of disrespect." Again, this just feels like a foreign concept to me - feeling disrespected just because someone offers a word of advice. I generally appreciated the attention and the thought for me, whether or not I followed the advice.
"Don't make it about you; make it about the health of the relationship." Well, the first part of this I'd unreservedly agree with. Good parenting is never "all about" the parent. But sometimes there are more important goals than the health of the relationship. I can understand turning that phrase on its head and preserving relationship to preserve influence for the more important things over time. But sometimes there are more important things than being well liked.
There are even examples often in this book in the setting financial boundaries sections. I think of their functioning independence as being important because one day, if the normal flow of events occur, the parents will not be around to protect and provide and guide their adult children. And other things can be more important than relationship as well.
But I also think of Matthew 7:6 where Jesus said, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." NIV. Sometimes we need to refrain from casting our pearls of wisdom around because it only aggravates them - as painful as it is to compare them to swine or to dogs. It's not that we are classifying them as pigs, but that their own behavior in their reactions to pearls - acting like this - classifies them.
On the other hand, I remember a beloved uncle saying that he never wanted to say or do anything that drove his children away, even when they disagreed. I remember his son once calling his dad (my uncle) his best friend. And another time, much later on, he said that everything his dad ever said, ever warned him about was true.
A nitpick: Proverbs 22:6 was quoted a few times in this book, but it was elevated from a proverb to a promise. While I do have a very high view of all scripture, I distinguish between the types of literature in it. Promises are where God says, "I promise ..." or "I swear by Myself ..." and proverbs are things that usually come true, but are not quite promises. They are pearls of wisdom, natural outcomes that usually occur, but there are exceptions.
For example, take the proverb:
"Lazy hands make a man poor,
but diligent hands bring wealth."
- Proverbs 10:4, NIV
Those who work hard often do profit from it, but that hasn't always been the case throughout history. Slaves haven't. Or if someone works hard for something, then another person comes along and steals it. The expected outcome is that those who work hard benefit from it. It's the normal, usual flow of events, but it's not a promise.
I like A. W. Tozer's analogy of truth being like a bird with two wings, that we should balance scripture with scripture because a one-winged bird doesn't fly very well.
One example of diligence not leading to wealth is yet another proverb:
"A poor man's field may produce abundant food,
but injustice sweeps it away."
- Proverbs 13:23, NIV
It disturbs me a little when people take things to be promises that aren't ... I am always afraid they will be doubly-disillusioned if it doesn't come true, and perhaps disillusioned in God as well.
One example of it being wise proverbs, but not promises, comes when the Proverbs give opposite pieces of advice. We'd call it "being between a rock and a hard place." One example that can be pertinent to this discussion is
"Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.
"Answer a fool according to his folly,
or he will be wise in his own eyes."
- Proverbs 24:5-6, NIV
(We have all acted like fools at one time or another. And again it is not we that classify someone as a fool, but it is their behavior. Biblically, and especially in Proverbs, there are many character-traits for fools.)
Wisdom, of course, knows which one of those conflicting Proverbs to pick in a given situation - or the Holy Spirit, as we pray. Or perhaps wisdom recognizes that either way you go, there's no winning this one, or different benefit-cost analysis for each direction to go. But the second proverb of the conflicting pair above shows an aspect that this book didn't consider much - that if we don't speak up, the "fool" won't realize the dangerous direction he's headed. I think this book assumes that such words have already been spoken and disregarded, which puts a different light on it. And yes, as the book said, sometimes reality is a hard teacher, but it does teach natural consequences.
This all brings me back to the proverb that was quoted several times in this book, and often in various Christian parenting books:
"Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."
- Proverbs 22:6, NIV
I would say that's the normal, expected end result - the usual result - but not a promise. That is an important distinction because I think we live in unusual times, at least for our nation, especially as contrasted with those during the times these Proverbs were written, in which our elders are under-valued, and in which youthful peers, which are always important to one, now has an exaggerated importance, and rebelliousness is glorified, not for some noble purpose, but merely for the sake of rebelliousness itself. And there's "Because of the increase of wickedness, the [family] love of most will grow cold ..." - Matthew 24:12, NIV. Current culture is always important to one, but it has become more important than perhaps it has in other eras, to the exclusion of other influences.
Failing to recognize this comes into play in preparing a child for society, but also, failing to recognize this may place more blame on the parents of a wandering child than is warranted. As the old saying goes, God is the perfect Parent, but look at how His children turned out!
There's a couple other comments I've heard on that proverb (22:6.) One is that while the proverb talks about what the child will do when he/she is old, it doesn't mention anything about the middle years. It includes many who wander and who do return to faith.
Secondly, that phrase "the way he should go" is customized for each child, and includes such things as their career and hobbies and interests. I saw my cousin's grandfather (from her other side of the family) out gardening at 99 years of age, and when I asked him about it, he said that when he was about three, his mother took him out gardening with her. It made me smile, and think of this verse.
What would I say to all those parents who put their hope in that verse as a promise, rather than as a proverb? ... I don't know, because hope is a very fragile, essential thing, but we want to put our hope in the right things. I would say to put your hope in God Himself.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills —
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth."
- Psalm 121: 1, NIV
I find it interesting that after I wrote the above book review, I listened to a podcast about pitfalls in reading the Bible. #2 on the list talked about treating Proverbs like promises and even listed the "Train up a child ..." Proverb discussed above. Anyway, it's worth listening to and probably said it better than I did:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iBXUYdN...
One reviewer called this book a Dr. Phil-like book. Some complained that there was so much scripture; others that there was hardly any. I would've said that there was a scant amount, but that it was there. I'm guessing maybe 6 passages for the entire 9 chapters. I could be wrong. There could have been more. But it wasn't expository in that it wasn't pulling out the meaning of the passages and then applying them. They were just part of the thought-flow.
Several people complained that this book didn't touch on dysfunctional families or when the adult kids have legitimate complaints about their parents. It automatically assumed the parents were right. And there definitely could - and should - have been more humility in that area. He did talk about the James passage about being quick to listen being for parents, too, as well as talking about the power of an apology. So, I'm not sure it entirely always considered the parents to be the right ones, but it did seem to lean in that direction for most of the book. Otherwise, those ideas could be chapters, or even books, of their own.
Favorite quotes:
"You must love them enough to let them go."
"Be encouraging but not intrusive."
"We focused on cheering whatever we could affirm."
"Words don't always lead to connections, but enjoyable connections lead to words."
"If you don't give them respect, it pretty much guaranteed they will close the door on your guidance."
"We can never underestimate the power of an apology to bless and heal a relationship."
"Change always involves a sense of loss." - C. S. Lewis
"Maturity often requires making adjustments to our hopes, dreams, and lifestyles."
"Their crisis doesn't need to be your crisis."
"Get to know her beyond what is breaking your heart."
"God, I release my children to Your loving and tender mercies."
"Time, circumstances, and God's relentless love have a way of bringing the wanderers home."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Anglou
"Every day I find reasons amid my pain to be thankful for life." - Joni Eareckson Tada
"God promises to walk with you through the shadow of death and back."
"Be the in-laws who make it easy for them."
"You have done so much for me, God, and even when I am old and gray, I will continue to declare your power and love to the next generation." - Jim Burns' paraphrase of Psalm 71:17-18
May 10, 2025
3.75 stars, rounded up.
This was full of general, common sense principles for relating to your adult children. I could easily sum up the entire book in the following way:
Don’t criticize your adult children or their choices, even when they don’t align with your values.
Be there for your kids, but don’t support them financially.
Don’t say anything negative about their spouse.
Be involved in the lives of your grandchildren.
That’s essentially the entire book. These were good reminders for me as my kids are entering this phase, and I may come back to the chapters on in-laws and grandchildren.
Overall, I wish that the advice had gone a little deeper into the complexity of these relationships. It felt almost dated in some ways. The problems that were addressed might crop up today, but there are a multitude of new issues out there.
This was full of general, common sense principles for relating to your adult children. I could easily sum up the entire book in the following way:
Don’t criticize your adult children or their choices, even when they don’t align with your values.
Be there for your kids, but don’t support them financially.
Don’t say anything negative about their spouse.
Be involved in the lives of your grandchildren.
That’s essentially the entire book. These were good reminders for me as my kids are entering this phase, and I may come back to the chapters on in-laws and grandchildren.
Overall, I wish that the advice had gone a little deeper into the complexity of these relationships. It felt almost dated in some ways. The problems that were addressed might crop up today, but there are a multitude of new issues out there.
February 12, 2023
This book was okay. I didn’t agree with everything but the author did provide some helpful practical tips to help navigate the transition of having adult children. I appreciate the real life illustrations and practical advice.
July 12, 2022
There are some good tips with how to communicate BUT I struggled with the repeated refrain "when your child violates your values" because I felt the meaning as LGBTQ and non-Christian is wrong. He never said it but anytime he told a story about an adult child being in a same sex relationship or not attending church the ending of the stories were always a return to church or "the relationship ended". He also said he was proud of his relationship with Promise Keepers which I find to me a sick, backward men's religious based cult. Since the book only took 2 hours to listen to, I finished it. If you have a more accepting and welcoming personality this is not the book for you -- except the financial tips like make your children aware of what you will pay for and make them pay their bills you have warned them it will end and stick to it. Basically no helicopter parenting.
December 12, 2019
Like most self-help/advice books, this one tells you what you already know. However, for some of us, you need to see it in print to get it through your skull. I am that person.
The basic thrust is in the title-keep your big mouth shut and be welcoming. Burns does stress that this doesn't mean we agree with all our adult children choices (they know when they are going against your family's principles, etc.) but that you don't become such a scold that they cease talking to you or sharing.
Some of the issues he tackles are ones that did not pertain to me but there is something in this book for really any parent of an adult child. It is a Christian-based book so know that going in.
The basic thrust is in the title-keep your big mouth shut and be welcoming. Burns does stress that this doesn't mean we agree with all our adult children choices (they know when they are going against your family's principles, etc.) but that you don't become such a scold that they cease talking to you or sharing.
Some of the issues he tackles are ones that did not pertain to me but there is something in this book for really any parent of an adult child. It is a Christian-based book so know that going in.
May 11, 2023
It’s really just relationship forward, bite your tongue advice. Which is great and definitely needed, but I wish it would’ve been more about trying to understand/empathize with differences and consider your own stance, rather than assume you’re always right as the parent.
March 12, 2023
The book would have been better if it didn’t have such a Christian, morality focus. Some of the morality points made were cringe worthy!
January 9, 2025
The topic of this book drew me in; it's as if I suddenly woke up and my children are grown. My (and my wife's) relationship with them is in a state of redefinition. The unsettling feeling has left me searching for wisdom in a season where my own footing is unsure.
Jim Burns offers helpful tips on dealing with adult children. In general, he embraces a biblical worldview, though he doesn't go out of his way to root his observations and maxims in the truth of Scripture. He does cite Scripture, but in the way that topical preachers do, without much exegesis and often out of context. I would say about his book what I say about a lot of topical preaching - the sentiments are true, just not necessarily true of the passages cited. But I go back to my assertion - he does offer helpful tips on dealing with adult children. He addresses kids that live lives that are inconsistent with a parent's convictions, adult children that are financially entitled, young adult children that avoid adulting, learning to deal with in-laws, the joys of grandparenting, and helping a young adult child be financially responsible. In general, his approach is more passive than my parenting style, but I am honest enough to admit that he might be more correct than I am at points. At other points, I strongly disagree with where his passivity takes him (dealing with a child with same-sex attraction, for one). Still, he is generally helpful.
Two threads are woven throughout that are great pragmatic take-aways. First, you have to come up with an agreed upon plan with your adult child when facing issues. Speak to them as an adult. Listen to them. Then agree together on a plan and take action to carry out that plan to address the issues that lay before you. Second, he connects the dots between the struggles that most adult children are having to actually launch with the culture that they find themselves in. That culture is (drastically?) different than the culture we faced to launch out in the 1990s. While I disagree at points where he gives the culture a little too much sway, I did find it helpful to consider how counter-cultural my adult children are in how they are performing as adults. Seeing the cultural context in which they are adulting actually made me swell with pride at how well they are doing in contrast with their peers.
This book is worth the read, but read it discerningly. There are points where thinking believers will surely disagree.
Jim Burns offers helpful tips on dealing with adult children. In general, he embraces a biblical worldview, though he doesn't go out of his way to root his observations and maxims in the truth of Scripture. He does cite Scripture, but in the way that topical preachers do, without much exegesis and often out of context. I would say about his book what I say about a lot of topical preaching - the sentiments are true, just not necessarily true of the passages cited. But I go back to my assertion - he does offer helpful tips on dealing with adult children. He addresses kids that live lives that are inconsistent with a parent's convictions, adult children that are financially entitled, young adult children that avoid adulting, learning to deal with in-laws, the joys of grandparenting, and helping a young adult child be financially responsible. In general, his approach is more passive than my parenting style, but I am honest enough to admit that he might be more correct than I am at points. At other points, I strongly disagree with where his passivity takes him (dealing with a child with same-sex attraction, for one). Still, he is generally helpful.
Two threads are woven throughout that are great pragmatic take-aways. First, you have to come up with an agreed upon plan with your adult child when facing issues. Speak to them as an adult. Listen to them. Then agree together on a plan and take action to carry out that plan to address the issues that lay before you. Second, he connects the dots between the struggles that most adult children are having to actually launch with the culture that they find themselves in. That culture is (drastically?) different than the culture we faced to launch out in the 1990s. While I disagree at points where he gives the culture a little too much sway, I did find it helpful to consider how counter-cultural my adult children are in how they are performing as adults. Seeing the cultural context in which they are adulting actually made me swell with pride at how well they are doing in contrast with their peers.
This book is worth the read, but read it discerningly. There are points where thinking believers will surely disagree.
December 4, 2023
While I do love a good audio narration, I found myself wishing for paper and a highlighter with so many practical insights in this book. Some favorites were...
-Unsolicited advice is usually seen as criticism (but we have such good ideas, right?? :)
-Honoring your son-in-law translates into honoring your daughter
-It is important to understand your adult child's culture and how it influences their decisions
-Before you make that comment, ask yourself if what you are going to say (or do) will deepen or enhance your relationship? Sometimes it is better to just bite your tongue and listen.
There were sections about setting boundaries with your kids if they are not successfully launched or too dependent on your finances etc. that I was happy to skip over but advice on communication and learning to navigate relationships when your kids don't always make the decisions you would make etc. and grand-parenting tips were extremely helpful. Christian worldview and principles were also a highlight.
-Unsolicited advice is usually seen as criticism (but we have such good ideas, right?? :)
-Honoring your son-in-law translates into honoring your daughter
-It is important to understand your adult child's culture and how it influences their decisions
-Before you make that comment, ask yourself if what you are going to say (or do) will deepen or enhance your relationship? Sometimes it is better to just bite your tongue and listen.
There were sections about setting boundaries with your kids if they are not successfully launched or too dependent on your finances etc. that I was happy to skip over but advice on communication and learning to navigate relationships when your kids don't always make the decisions you would make etc. and grand-parenting tips were extremely helpful. Christian worldview and principles were also a highlight.
October 17, 2024
To those parents out there this was incredibly healthful!! Very good insight. Being a parent is tough. We were never warned the heartbreak we experience when our children are grown. It’s an all new territory!!! One that’s hard to navigate but thanks to books like this we can gain some inspiration and insight. We got this !!!
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