Leading a Church in a Time of Sexual Questioning: Grace-Filled Wisdom for Day-to-Day Ministry

by Bruce B. Miller

Biblical Guidance for Ministering God’s Love in a Sexually Diverse Culture In a time when sexual norms are changing rapidly, how can a local church be a place of grace—a loving community for all kinds of people—where everyone can flourish and disagreements are overcome in a Christlike spirit while at the same time stay true to biblical standards? In a way that appeals to pastors and lay leaders alike, Bruce offers a biblical theology of sexuality and provides practical wisdom for how a church can approach ministering to, and alongside, people who identify their sexuality in diverse LGBTQ+. Here is a church-tested program full of wise pastoral insights to help church leaders think through day-to-day decisions, such as how to handle baby dedications, small groups, who can serve, membership, baptism, retreats, the Lord’s Supper, weddings, funerals, teaching, hiring, and caring for those caught in sin. If you are a leader who is facing any of these challenging issues and decisions, then this practical, grace-filled book is for you.

272 pages, Paperback

Published April 9, 2019

About the author

Bruce is a wise pastor, consultant, and author. As a thought leader, his consulting, courses, and books result from his passion for helping people grow, developing leaders, and empowering churches. He consults and creates resources to foster personal growth and provides fresh insights into how we can live more productive, joy-filled lives that make a difference for eternity.

To learn more and download free resources, please visit: www.brucebmiller.com

Reviews

[Don Harton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book and challenging. The author, Bruce Miller is a pastor who seems to have a good deal of practical experience in relationships with Same Sex Attracted believers. His words are loving and life-affirming. He is not ‘lifestyle’ affirming, but read the last chapter: he recognizes that we are all sinners and he longs for the church to be an inclusive refuge for all.

Miller provides questions throughout the book for the church - the people who make up the body of Christ - to consider as we seek to love wildly, effectively, unconditionally, ‘everybody always’. He does not try to provide answers, but he provides plenty of Biblical references for the process and the discussions. And he encourages us to be people-focused, not issue-focused.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Timely and relevant, this book addresses a complex topic with grace and compassion. No easy answers or platitudes are provided, rather wrestling through a loving Christian response is the author’s call to readers. How do we love well while following our understanding of biblical truths? Through this book, readers can engage in deeper thought & reflection on a critical subject facing church leaders today.

[Nathan Marone]

The audience for this book is a pastor who is leading or working in a church that does not affirm homosexual behavior, but also recognizes that the church has been quite bad at interacting with LGBTQ+ folks and believes that a new path needs to be forged. To that end, the book is largely pastoral in nature. Practical examples and hypotheticals abound. There's an opening section that lays out a theology of human sexuality. For a pop-level treatment of a complex subject, that section is good. And it serves as the foundation for the posture that churches can take on this issue.

In short, Miller insists that sexual sin is not greater than other sins, which means that we give the same kind of grace here that we would give to someone dealing with any kind of sin. The basic posture is compassion and a view to understanding people before making quick judgements on them and their lives. He would rather see Christians be so compassionate and caring that they are misunderstood as approving of homosexuality than to see Christians be so firm in their opposition that they forget to show compassion, care, and grace.

He may be unique in stating that while he does not believe scripture affirms homosexual behavior, he thinks this is a secondary issue. He counsels that local and denominational leadership should be on the same page, but that we should not presume that those who affirm are outside of God's grace.

The key issue, to my mind, is what we do and do not call sin. Miller acknowledges that attraction itself is not something that can be helped and may not be sin. But churches will split on whether to approve of homosexual behavior in committed relationships and marriages. The questions at stake are things like: who can be a member of a church? Who can lead and pastor a church? How does someone who has same-sex attraction fit into the life of the church?

Probably a good book for elders to read as well.

[Tiff · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an interesting book to read. One minute I agreed with the author and then I was not on board with what he was saying, it was like he was on the fence about what the word of God was conveying for the LGBTQ community and how God would see them as it pertains to leadership roles within the church.

I do however recommend this book to any church leader who is struggling to understand how to see or even implement same-sex couples into their congregation, how to minister to them and how to show them love, not judgement.

Like the saying goes, "Just love them, I'll sort them out in the end" -God

Yes, I realize that the bible does not say this or that God himself did not say this exactly. But the Bible does tell us to love each other as Christ loved the church and it does tell us not to judge other's sins. We are not the authority on sin, He is. We are to love others and bring Salt and light to others. As long as we speak salt and light and the holy word of God to others, there should be no fault in our intentions.

[Jonathan Markham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an outstanding balanced and sensitive book. I would recommend it as a must read for every pastor at every level. The author does not seek to prescribe or instruct but rather to give the reader fuel to think through issues with informed sensitivity. There are few issues that present the church with more challenges than this one and we will all be better equipped to face them in a Christlike manner after reading this book.

[Jamar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent read. Bruce Miller begs the question, what are we doing to bring families in that have concerns with sexual topics. How are we growing the body of Christ with people and for people that don’t share a brand of logic of what a Christian looks like. I like that he talks about not identifying your self by your sin. I’ve never heard a fellow Christian say, they are a lying Christian, or a gossiping christian.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical advice for pastors and church leaders. There are books that deal with the science and theology of sexuality in more depths, but this is a must read on the topic for practical pastoral theology and application.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense read but well thought out. I appreciated Miller's perspective.

[Ashley Chesnut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend, particularly for ministry leaders and church staff. Very practical, compassionate, charitable, and insightful