Adamovo mlčení

by Larry Crabb, Al Andrews, Don Hudson

Na osobním příběhu tří naprosto odlišných mužů (vedle Larryho Crabba přispěli ke knize ještě Al Andrews a Don Hudson) ilustruje autor skutečnost, jak velice bolestivé je dozrát ve skutečného muže a otce. Kniha povzbuzuje muže k tomu, aby se nebáli přijmout zodpovědnost za své jednání a vstupovali do smělých rozhodnutí.

Genres: Christian, Christianity, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Theology, Marriage, Religion

173 pages, Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

Lawrence J. Crabb Jr.

Larry Crabb is a well-known Christian psychologist, conference and seminar speaker, Bible teacher, and author of more than 25 books—including his most recent, When God’s Ways Make No Sense and two Gold Medallion award-winners Inside Out and Understanding People. He is also the founder/director of NewWay Ministries & most recently his "legacy ministry", LargerStory.com. In addition to various other speaking and teaching opportunities, Crabb offers a week-long School of Spiritual Direction held each year here at The Cove and the Glen Eyrie in CO. He currently is scholar-in-residence at Colorado Christian University. Larry and his wife of 50 years, Rachael, reside near Charlotte, N.C.

Reviews

[Chris Bloom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent look at men's issues in the contemporary church. In many ways it is a predecessor to John Eldredge's Wild at Heart, though without that books odd theological basis.

This was my first introduction to Crabb, and I grow more impressed the more I read.

[J. Wootton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Judeo-Christian tradition has long entertained a philosophic stranger whose subtle poison makes him a very dangerous guest. I refer to a slight - a very slight - corruption of the Eden story, a version in which Eve is alone when the serpent tempts her to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. It seems a trivial detail but, just as a little yeast alters a whole loaf of bread, getting such details wrong can alter the character of whole religions and societies.

If Eve was alone, you see, when she succumbed to temptation (and then dragged Adam and the rest of creation down with her) it gives men an excuse to fantasize that, had Adam been with her, perhaps mankind would not have fallen into sin and error and the curse of mortal toil. Mythic distinction between Eve and Pandora is blurred; implied distinctions between men and women are exaggerated in popular understanding.

According to the actual texts of the Jewish and Christian creation stories, that is not what happened: the Eden account plainly states that Adam, although he says and does nothing, "was with her." And yet this lie, that the Fall began with Eve's solitary mistake, has for centuries remained perniciously persistent: never orthodox, yet never repudiated firmly or consistently enough for the true myth to be fully accepted in patriarchal Jewish or Christian societies. Milton did his bit to perpetuate it in the 17th century; even C.S. Lewis, paying tribute to Milton with his own fiction, contributed to keeping it alive in the 20th.

Then along comes this fellow Larry Crabb - not an academic, theologian, historian, poet, or novelist, but a clinical psychologist - who discovers, in a more attentive reading of the Eden myth, in correcting the popular misogynist misreading, a useful metaphor for describing and working through aspects of the human condition. For Crabb, Eden is not a morality tale about the relative moral fortitude of women when left alone without male supervision, but rather a morality tale about the tendency of men to remain silent and passive in the face of uncertainty, to "check out" of uncomfortable situations emotionally and mentally even when physically present.

The Silence of Adam is not a great book. Its first 60 pages should be whittled down to about 20. Crabb and his co-authors' presume a broader historical and societal applicability for their observations than is warranted. Even though it contains many excellent and insightful passages, I doubt the book as a whole will endure, unless it undergoes a substantial rewrite.

But I strongly hope its premise does.

[Felipe Sabino · Rating 3 out of 5]

Livro altamente mais ou menos.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot of books on manhood and such and this is definitely an important addition to the big collection of books on the topics. The title refers to Adam being silent when Eve accepted the apple from the serpent in the Garden. Crabb takes the view that Adam was standing alongside Eve and accordingly should have spoken up recalling the instruction God had given him earlier about not eating from this tree. Forgetfulness (or choosing not to remember), silence and passivity. I don't know a man where these three attributes don't exist. Whether they came about as a result of the Fall isn't so much the issue now; it's the fact that men allow these attributes to play too big a role in our lives and as a result handicap us in discovering the fullness of life walking with the Lord.

Crabb has counselled hundreds, perhaps thousands, of men and so one can take it that he has learnt a thing or two about what handicaps us. The various vignettes of men he provides are very relatable and on a couple of occasions I wondered if I was reading my own story. Even though confronting, it was comforting to know that I am not alone nor unique in my struggles.

I particularly appreciated the debate of recipe-based theology (solution solving) versus transcendence theology plus the notion that we should be willing to walk into the darkness, find God (because He's there with us) and allow Him to guide us out rather than running from it.

I think Crabb could have made it easier to see some of the practical ways of better connecting with God and other men without using recipe-based theology, which would make it easier for readers to adopt some of the essence of the book. A study-guide would be very useful that enabled either an individual and/or group to explore each others reactions to each chapter. I notice in the updated version now titled Men of Courage does included such a study guide.

But perhaps one of the strongest impressions that I walk away with is Don Hudson's reflections at the end where he discusses the point that "Godly men are broken men." He points to the fact that Jesus summed up His life in Matthew 20:18-19 by saying He would be handed over to the chief priests and scribes to die. He set up His kingdom through brokenness. And in so doing we too are strongest in our most broken places: "It is only my brokenness that brings me life."

Because it's in our brokenness where we reach for and hold onto Jesus who has created us for a particular life and it is only in walking with Him everyday that we come to discover that life.

[Adam Crabb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I thought this was a very good book. It was recommended by one of my dads friends, and I am glad I read it. The intended audience probably was not me, but that does no mean I can not get things out of it. I feel that the book taught me a lot about spiritual growth and becoming the spiritual leader that God created the male side of humanity to be. Actually, I think that it is more important to take this into mind going into high school and later into the world.

[Ed · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very insightful book for Christian men. It shows how we men too often look for the easy way out when we encounter chaos or conflict or crises in our lives. Crabb identifies healthier approaches to those situations that better honor God and help those close to us.

[Kenneth Garrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book evokes strong reactions in its readers: they either seem to love it, or to hold it is disdain. This is my third time through it, so you know which of those groups I fall into. The premise of the book is that Adam, in the Garden, stood by silently while his wife, Eve, took and ate the fruit--the first (human) act of sin. My father in-law (a pastor) scoffed a the very idea of a man "standing by" while his wife does something so horrifyingly destructive, and obviously felt something like that just wouldn't have been done by Adam, a man who (admittedly) had not yet committed any sin. But, the biblical text does suggest that was at least close by, if not physically present, when Eve took the fruit--and he certainly was silent, even if Eve had to hike through the Garden a ways to find him. (That theory also presumes that Eve deceived her husband, by not telling him the source of the fruit she was handing him to eat...)

The first time I read this book was when I began to face up to my membership in a abusive church, and to honestly evaluation how I felt about the leaders of that church, and my role in it as a member. The book led me to take some positive, confronting actions that have resulted in ongoing blessing and healing for my family, and many dear friends.

But even today, looking at my own life, and the lives of men/husbands/fathers around me, it make PERFECT sense that Adam stood silently by while he wife destroyed their lives. While he should have committed the first instance of animal slaughter, in killing the serpent that threatened his wife, Adam just watched the disaster unfold, content to stay out of the way, to not interrupt the "conversation" between Eve and the serpent. Adam's silence.

So, here I am in my third time through this work, because I personally have found Crabb's book to nothing less than life-changing. It is not a theological treatise, or an exegetical commentary, and it does not presume to replace the Scriptures--it is simply a devotional guide pursuing the goal of character formation in its readers. This is a book that deals with men, specifically, and will bless all of the Adam's, Achans, Moses', Nadabs, Korahs, Sauls, Davids, Solomons, Peters, Roberts, Conners, Steves, Rogers, Georges, and Kens, and anyone else who cares to give it a try.

The book was written in the 1990's as a response to the Promise Keeper-style of spiritual growth that was happening at the time, and so includes many references to men's conferences and such, some of the younger guys might not remember that era. Here's a sampling of the author's thinking, from chapter one:

1. When men feel POWERLESS over the people and circumstances of their lives, they are prone to become CONTROLLING and OVERBEARING in their relationships.

2. When men feel ANGRY at what they perceived as their legitimate goals in life, they tend to become ABUSIVE and DESTRUCTIVE in their relationships and behavior.

3. When men experience deep FEAR at the events, people, and circumstances of life that they are unable to control, they are tempted to become SELFISH, SELF-INDULGENT, because they become convinced they must meet their own needs, for no one else will.

Highly recommended, and (for me) life changing!

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was asked to read this book several years ago for a Bible study and never did. Finally came back around to it and glad I did. While I'm not ready to subscribe to everything Dr. Crabb has to say here, I generally agree with the principles he embraces. Understanding general tendencies that most men (if not all) face is helpful both in terms of self knowledge but also in relating to other men. There were a couple of moments where Dr. Crabb speaks in generalities about how men see the world, and I thought, "Oh really? I thought that was just me!"

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hugely influential part of my college years. I still refer to Crabb's paradigm of strength and sensitivity as the two extremes of masculinity that men struggle to properly balance. Presets Christ as the perfect example of masculine strength and tenderness.

One of many subjects that hit me hard during my initial read. I pull this off the shelf, and it's all soft and loose, from having been read so intently. Haven't reread it fully since college. Not sure how it would hit me today...

[Jacob Baley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven’t really read anything all year. Bits and pieces of books, half of a classic here, etc. This is a big departure from the previous two years where reading was my greatest joy and friend. The reason for this was the difficulty of the year. I have failed in so many ways and really seen how inadequate I am. With those failures in mind, I just retreated into YouTube, Reels, and a wasting of my days. I would pick up a book and just feel a hopelessness and frustration at them. I would find myself thinking, “what good are books? They don’t change anything. It’s just another activity that never seems to do anything”

This may be a weird intro for this book but the context is helpful. I had been given this book by a friend 2 years ago. He had picked it up at a reseller and said, “idk what it’s about but you may like it”. I put it in my book drawer and never thought about it again. As I was moving to a new house, I picked the book back up again. Brought it over and realized it didn’t fit on my shelf. So I put it on the ground. I decided to throw away a few things I didn’t need and I saw the book, picked it up, and was about to throw it away. However, I quickly thought “I’ve never even given it a chance. I should at least read 5 pages of it” and so I did. This book has become one of my book “friends”.

I am very weary of Christian and self help books that speak endlessly about how to become a Godly or Good man. I have read so many of them and have found myself not being changed. I read them, get inspired, and then face the fact of my failures. Parroting the messages but never really being changed. I don’t believe this book to be the same.

So much of our discourse in growing into Christlikeness has to do with self esteem or understanding “your story”. And yet it’s so hollow. The fact is, that we are inadequate without Christ. That we are fallen and corrupt without Christ. And that anytime we try to codify or make a system of becoming like Christ we have gone astray. The only real answer to our problems is to actually want to know Christ more. So many people use Christ for safety, security, purpose, a good marriage, good kids, a helpful community, comfortability. However, very few desire Christ. To desire these aforementioned things is easy. To desire and pursue Christ is hard. Because you must be brought to the absolute end of yourself so that you can actually and practically proclaim, “to live IS Christ, to die is gain”.


This is what this book teaches. It’s a book laden with anecdotes and explanations that shed real truth into the cries of men that say “why am I this way!” Or “why do I screw everything up” or even more terrifying “I just don’t know what to do”. And I am very grateful for it. I know it’s sounds cliche but I consider this book to be a hidden jewel. I think it to be the best Christian “man” book I’ve read. I think it’s goes far deeper than Eldredge and better than comer. I think it is valuable to read but then again maybe this book was meant for me at the right time.

One last thought, we are constantly thinking that we have to try and make things work. Our society always talks about “grabbing yourself by your boot straps” or faking it till you make it. We are laden with the responsibilities to make things work. However, I think scripture has something to say on this:

“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant?
Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord.
But now, all of you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand: you will lie down in torment.”

Isaiah 50:10-11

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE POPULAR CHRISTIAN PSYCHOLOGIST LOOKS AT MEN

Lawrence ("Larry") J. Crabb, Jr. is a psychologist, author, teacher and speaker, who is Spiritual Director for the American Association of Christian Counselors, and since 1996 has been Scholar-in-Residence of Colorado Christian University. He has written many other books such as 'Effective Biblical Counseling,' 'Basic Principles of Biblical Counseling,' 'Finding God,' 'Inside Out,' 'Men & Women,' 'Real Church: Does it exist? Can I find it?,; etc. [NOTE: the page numbers below refer to the 192-pag hardcover edition.]

He begins this 1995 book by asking, "Where was Adam when the serpent tempted Eve? ... Was Adam there the whole time?... If he was... then a big question must be asked: why didn't he say anything?... But Adam said nothing... He failed his woman. He failed, in his first spiritual struggle, to represent God. He failed as a man! The silence of Adam is the beginning of every man's failure... Men are uniquely called to remember what God has said and to speak accordingly, to move into dangerous uncertainty with a confidence and wisdom that comes from listening to God. Instead, like Adam, we forget God and remain silent... It is time for our men to recover their voices, to listen to God---and to speak." (Pg. 11-12)

He explains, "This book is written by three growing but struggling men---men who openly confess that our struggles seem to deepen as our lives continue. Our lives are simply not together the way the Christian culture seems to think they should be... Mature men aren't supposed to struggle with crazy thoughts, sinful urges, or despairing feelings. But we think they do. Our view of spiritual manhood has more to do with continuing to function in spite of difficulties then with successfully overcoming them... And this is our core message: MANHOOD MEANS MOVING---not always success, not even victory, but moving, the kind of movement that only a passionate, consuming, Spirit-directed fascination with Christ can produce. And that is true victory." (Pg. 13-14) Later, he adds, "When good movement stops, bad movement begins. Good movement is movement through personal unhappiness toward God. Bad movement is movement aimed at nothing higher than relieving personal unhappiness." (Pg. 119)

Crabb admits, "A little honest reflection makes me think I'm an iconoclast, a noncomformist, a radical with short hair and a navy blazer. A seminary employed me as a professor for seven years---and then asked me to leave. My presence did not sit well with some of their constituency. Looking back, I can see a hundred things I said and did that would understandably trouble them. Many of those things were immature, and some were sinful; a few I would do again." (Pg. 18)

They write of the men's movement [e.g., Iron John, Fire in the Belly] that "Neither of these men, nor most subsequent leaders in the men's movement, want to return to a John Wayne style of masculinity (where men are more tough then tender), but they have expressed a legitimate concern that something primitive and basic about the nature of manhood is in danger of being lost in the culture's struggle to define it." (Pg. 41-42) Later, they suggest, "Godly men are broken men. They have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. They take risks. They exercise great faith. They are passionate lovers." (Pg. 186)

Crabb's books are understandably very popular among Christians who take a "positive" view towards psychology, and this book is an excellent example of why.

[Jordan Tomeš · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rozporuplná kniha. Na jedné straně (pro mě) zásadní poznatky o mužské psychologii/spiritualitě a místy plodná biblická exegeze. Na druhé straně někdy až úsměvně odlišný/zvláštní kulturní kontext amerického křesťanství a občasná "předuchovnělost".

Co mě zaujalo:

- výzva nepřijímat teologii "receptů" a místo toho přijmout "temnotu Božího světla" jako realitu, které je prostě nutné v hlubině života čelit, jakkoli nepříjemná může být. "Vyděrzaj, pioněr!" V tajemství tmy je nakonec ukryto to nejcennější. Ten, kdo si neustále svítí vlastním světlem, nejspíš žije jen v "umělém osvětlení" své vlastní pravdy/životní ideologie/strachu otevřít se sám sobě (Iz 50,10-11 - fakt hezký verše). Klíčem je nejspíš důvěra, že v té temnotě Někdo je se mnou.
- První úkol biblického Adama je - mluvit, pojmenovat zvířata, přinášet určitý řád (ale to teda určitě není specificky mužská věc...). Pak ale mlčel (to s tím ovocem a jeho ženou) a stal se průser, svět ztmavnul. Oproti němu Hospodin do temnoty promlouvá a vlastními slovy tvoří novou dobrou realitu. Asi na tom mluvení něco bude. A asi nám chlapům někdy fakt moc nejde.
- Jednoduchá a myšlenkově plodná typologie: muži se ve vztazích pohybují na škále od "řízen pocitem potřebnosti" po "řízen pocitem tvrdosti". První jsou příliš citliví/mamánkové, kteří mateřskou péči vyžadují od svých partnerek, nejsou to silní muži. Zároveň jsou ale emocionálně uvědomělí, dá se s nimi bavit. Druzí jsou pak k druhým spíše neteční, nemají hlubší vztahy, nevyhledávají vlastní emoce - ale jsou cílevědomější a mají schopnosti své cíle prosadit. V obou případech ale nevyváženost může vést k náročnostem ve vztazích (partnerky první skupiny se nikdy necítí dostatečně, partnerky druhé skupiny se zase cítí osaměle/neviděně/nechtěně).

Jsem rád, že se lidi těmahle věcma zabývají. Zároveň je každý pokus něco mužského/ženského vyjádřit plný pastí. Tak bacha na to, určitě je má i tahle knížka :)

[John Ordonez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a delightful and heart revealing read. Highly recommend for guys to read. And for ladies to read if they want to understand the struggles guys go through. Through storytelling and experience, Dr. Crabb and his colleagues really dive deep into what it means to be man. Not the way society defines it but how the Lord made us to reflect His goodness. We may not change the world, but we can change our neighborhoods and homes by being good mentors to the fatherless and the brotherless as our eyes are locked to be more like Christ. And though I fall short in that task, with my own insecurities and faults, even still, His grace and mercy can still make good use in that.

[Bruno Anselmo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Geralmente eu uso este espaço para uma análise crítica do livro e o seu conteúdo. Raramente atribuo nota 5 em algum livro, porém, desta vez eu fui tocado no mais profundo do meu ser.
"O silêncio de Adão" faz o homem adentrar na escuridão do seu interior e relembrar que fomos criados à imagem e semelhança do próprio Deus. Longe de muitos livros de masculinidade que ensinam "receitas" para alcançar um padrão, este livro aponta que o verdadeiro homem encontra-se em Cristo, e que nEle devemos nos espelhar.
Por fim, indico esta obra para todos aqueles que desejam ser homens piedosos; àqueles que buscam diariamente ser a imagem e semelhança do Criador.

[ALAGBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pam Brown's review: Genesis 2:18 says that woman was created to be man’s suitable helper. I thought that maybe I could be a better wife if I figured out what my husband was supposed to be doing, and then help him do it. So I bought a copy of The Silence of Adam. Dr. Crabb gives brilliant insight as to what it takes for a man to become a man, but it sheds little light on the role of the woman. I highly recommend this book, but only for men.

[Evan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Wild at Heart, written by certified counselors. Strong biblical teaching, with a mix of good coffee-talk type guidance, bolstered by evocative personal anecdotes. Not too commercial, which gave me a feeling of finding a diamond in the rough. However, the book is not written well; the plague of using three authors is that themes are not as strong — as if a psychologist was giving the Sunday sermon .. powerful nuggets but unpolished in its delivery.

[Rafael Santos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Acredito que os livros trazem oportunidades. Quando pegamos um livro e entramos na prazeirosa tarefa de ler e refletir em suas ideias, podemos ir além daquilo que apresenta o autor e pensar sobre determinadas questões. Esse livro faz isso com você! Ele traz uma oportunidade singular de persarmos as nossas relações, e de vermos como elas são fundamentais, e de como devemos lidar com o caos e com as incertezas da vida, nos sujeitando aos pés do Senhor Jesus! Recomendo a leitura!

[John Goebel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good nuggets but some strange short takes not fully explained making you scratch your head as they would have been better not including or saying exactly what they wanted to say. Definitely woke me up on my tendency to be needy. Has helped me be more balanced. The multiple fictional stories meant to show examples of men struggling were cringey and confusing making me wonder what was the point they were trying to make.

[Wes Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

First half of the book is great. Especially the portion of Adam's silence in the garden. "God’s speaking brought creation out of chaos; Adam’s silence brought chaos into creation."

The second half of the book which gives solutions to how men can grow in ok. It really talks about the need for men to live in open and honest community with others.

[Alicia Ruggieri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thought-provoking book about the biblical path of manhood from youth to old age. Chock-full of realistic scenerios/illustrations, packed with biblical insight into not only why men are "silent" in an age of chaos, but how they can regain their God-given voice. Highly recommended for both men and women.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and am looking forward to reading the updated edition "Men of Courage". I like how honest each of the co-authors are, how candid and open they are about their own paths and struggles.

[Guilherme Joshua Blake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dá algumas voltas, as vezes, e poderia embasar algumas questões melhor, teologicamente, mas é sem dúvida uma obra clássica de grande valor. Um livro para revisitar e presentear à vontade.

Que nós homens aprendamos a falar... e a continuar falando...!

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really good conversation starter. Too many anecdotes for my taste.

[Tyler Wesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on manhood I have read

[BJ Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent insight and biblical insight on what it means to be a faithful man who rejects passivity. Helpful and practical. Highly recommend!

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sensacional. Lido duas vezes, cada uma delas uma nova visão, aprendizado, enfim, vale a pena a leitura.

[Douglas Resende · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente livro. Trata da importância de analisar o comportamento do homem no relacionamento, isso e suas consequências.

[Cesar Braz · Rating 5 out of 5]

O silêncio de Adão dura até hoje no homem brasileiro. Vale a pena ler.

[João Marcus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leitura extremamente necessária nos nossos dias. Trata a masculinidade de forma bíblica e real.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh