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Defending Your Marriage: The Reality of Spiritual Battle
Is your marriage under attack?
Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you're facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it?
Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.
In our marital challenges, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities that try to separate us from God and each other. But fear not. Learn to stand firm in Christ and trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil.
Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you're facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it?
Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.
In our marital challenges, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities that try to separate us from God and each other. But fear not. Learn to stand firm in Christ and trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil.
176 pages, Paperback
Published November 13, 2018
45 people are currently reading
166 people want to read
About the author
Tim Muehlhoff
15 books26 followersTim Muehlhoff (PhD, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill) is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California, where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, persuasion, and gender. He is the author of I Beg to Differ and Marriage Forecasting, and the coauthor of The God Conversation: Using Stories and Illustrations to Explain Your Faith and Authentic Communication: Christian Speech Engaging Culture. Muehlhoff and his wife, Noreen, are frequent speakers at FamilyLife Marriage Conferences, and he has served with Campus Crusade since 1986. They live in Brea, California, with their three boys.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
November 21, 2024
4.5 stars! This had some great information, including pieces that convicted and challenged me. I will say that all books about spiritual warfare can lean too much to “blame satan for everything” but overall, I appreciate much of the insight. I am grateful for the opportunity to listen to this audiobook and thank you to Tim Muehlhoff for your research and writing!
Thank you to IVP audiobooks and NetGalley for the audiobook!
Thank you to IVP audiobooks and NetGalley for the audiobook!
June 13, 2024
In my opinion, the book really digs in chapters 4 through 7. The perspective on spiritual warfare in marriage is fascinating. I enjoyed how the author broke down the concepts of marital attack and referenced specific scriptures throughout each area. I also appreciate the “continue the conversation” questions that follow each chapter, and provide an opportunity for reflection, or conversation starters if you’re reading with your spouse or within a small group.
November 27, 2021
The benefit of the book is that it awakens us to a threat that may not be on our radar as modern Western Christians who are not keenly attuned to the spiritual world, but in terms of the actual discussion of spiritual warfare with application to marriage, I didn't find anything terribly new or earth-shaking. Some of the discussions in chapter 3, "How Can I Tell If This Is Spiritual Warfare," were enlightening, convicting, and challenging, as was the final chapter applying insights from C. S. Lewis. But the strategies offered for "fighting back" didn't really go beyond what you'd find in any other discussion of spiritual or marital growth. Overall, I'm glad a friend shared this book with me and for the insights it offered.
October 14, 2018
Here’s a marriage book that takes a fresh, new approach. Tim Muehlhoff looks at our marriage problems in light of the possibility of spiritual warfare. I hadn’t really given that possibility consideration, though I would have said: “the Devil sure fights us”. My problem (among others) would be never probing what the Bible says about spiritual warfare in this practical way. The author works with Dennis Rainey at Family Life and writes with the graciousness and insight that belies a compassionate, experienced marriage speaker and counselor.
His introduction reminds us that our marriages are targeted by the Devil and that our job is for our marriages to showcase Christ in this world. That’s startling on both counts. Because our culture, including many Christians, is too spooked to entertain the possibility of spiritual warfare, he spends the first chapter making a clear case for it. There’s solid doctrine there. Next, he addresses why Satan cares about our marriages. Along the way, he exposes the failure of the prevalent contractual, or you-do-your-part-and-I’ll-do-mine, view of marriage. Since we all tend to overestimate our contributions while underestimating others, this approach has no hope. As you might guess, marriage as a covenant and as “an outpost for God’s Kingdom” is more appropriate. Covenant says I love like Jesus and not based on what my spouse does.
He discusses how to tell if it’s spiritual warfare rather than normal aggravations. He goes through open doors for spiritual warfare in 4 main categories of 1) sexual sin, 2) religious sins like idolatry, 3) relational sin against others, and 4) public sin. He further explains the 5 top indicators of spiritual warfare: 1) inappropriate anger, 2) sense of impending doom, 3) violent dreams, 4) no longer believing the best about God, and 5) no longer believing the best about you (your self-talk). He also probes how intimacy might play into all of this.
He has a thoughtful look at Adam and Eve and their temptation with great insights. There’s a chapter on using the armor of a Christian that gave real help (the best was the belt of truth). You wouldn’t have guessed it, but he makes great use of the Lord’s Prayer as well.
All in all, this is a fine book that covers a missing niche. I pray I will use many of its sage counsels.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
His introduction reminds us that our marriages are targeted by the Devil and that our job is for our marriages to showcase Christ in this world. That’s startling on both counts. Because our culture, including many Christians, is too spooked to entertain the possibility of spiritual warfare, he spends the first chapter making a clear case for it. There’s solid doctrine there. Next, he addresses why Satan cares about our marriages. Along the way, he exposes the failure of the prevalent contractual, or you-do-your-part-and-I’ll-do-mine, view of marriage. Since we all tend to overestimate our contributions while underestimating others, this approach has no hope. As you might guess, marriage as a covenant and as “an outpost for God’s Kingdom” is more appropriate. Covenant says I love like Jesus and not based on what my spouse does.
He discusses how to tell if it’s spiritual warfare rather than normal aggravations. He goes through open doors for spiritual warfare in 4 main categories of 1) sexual sin, 2) religious sins like idolatry, 3) relational sin against others, and 4) public sin. He further explains the 5 top indicators of spiritual warfare: 1) inappropriate anger, 2) sense of impending doom, 3) violent dreams, 4) no longer believing the best about God, and 5) no longer believing the best about you (your self-talk). He also probes how intimacy might play into all of this.
He has a thoughtful look at Adam and Eve and their temptation with great insights. There’s a chapter on using the armor of a Christian that gave real help (the best was the belt of truth). You wouldn’t have guessed it, but he makes great use of the Lord’s Prayer as well.
All in all, this is a fine book that covers a missing niche. I pray I will use many of its sage counsels.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
November 8, 2024
Defending Your Marriage: The Reality of Spiritual Battle
I enjoyed this book.
Tim covers a lot of different subjects on marriage and relationships, and I found it was interesting to get these perspectives.
Tim addresses contemporary views on marriage and divorce, providing a counter-cultural perspective - on things like commitment and spiritual awareness.
Even if you are without any issues in your marriage, I enjoy reading books like this to focus on what you can do to strengthen your relationship with God, your covenant, and your marriage (hopefully in that order)
A favorite thing of mine when reading Christian books, is that Muehlhoff's work is thoroughly grounded in Scripture, offering a balanced and biblically-based view of spiritual warfare in marriage.
In summary, the book is a great combination of biblical knowledge, advice, and cultural relevance. It makes a valuable resource for couples seeking to strengthen their marriages against both internal and external pressures.
Definitely check it out!
4.6/5
I enjoyed this book.
Tim covers a lot of different subjects on marriage and relationships, and I found it was interesting to get these perspectives.
Tim addresses contemporary views on marriage and divorce, providing a counter-cultural perspective - on things like commitment and spiritual awareness.
Even if you are without any issues in your marriage, I enjoy reading books like this to focus on what you can do to strengthen your relationship with God, your covenant, and your marriage (hopefully in that order)
A favorite thing of mine when reading Christian books, is that Muehlhoff's work is thoroughly grounded in Scripture, offering a balanced and biblically-based view of spiritual warfare in marriage.
In summary, the book is a great combination of biblical knowledge, advice, and cultural relevance. It makes a valuable resource for couples seeking to strengthen their marriages against both internal and external pressures.
Definitely check it out!
4.6/5
May 12, 2021
There's nothing actually bad about this book… I just didn't really get anything out of it. Maybe it would be a good practical refresher if one already had a deep understanding of spiritual warfare and was experiencing marital strife.
Thinking further, maybe this would also be good for those who have never considered the presence spiritual warfare within their lives. Perhaps this books will bring due attention to that reality.
At the end, though, I find myself wondering: Was the writing of this book actually necessary?
One plus: It did make me want to read C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters.
I'm glad that the author finds his thoughts helpful, and maybe there are others who do, too. It just isn't me, apparently.
Thinking further, maybe this would also be good for those who have never considered the presence spiritual warfare within their lives. Perhaps this books will bring due attention to that reality.
At the end, though, I find myself wondering: Was the writing of this book actually necessary?
One plus: It did make me want to read C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters.
I'm glad that the author finds his thoughts helpful, and maybe there are others who do, too. It just isn't me, apparently.
May 9, 2023
There were many great tips and information throughout the book, I especially appreciated his chapters on using God’s armor in marriage.
Had I known this author would have used so many quotes from Dallas Willard whose books fall into the category of “Christian mysticism” I never would have purchased it.
I could never really let my guard down reading this book. With his extensive use of Dallas Willard’s books/quotes all I could see were the influence of mysticism, New Age, Desert Fathers, and NAR teaching.
I picked this book up at a FamilyLife Marriage Retreat and very disappointed they were selling this without taking that into account.
Had I known this author would have used so many quotes from Dallas Willard whose books fall into the category of “Christian mysticism” I never would have purchased it.
I could never really let my guard down reading this book. With his extensive use of Dallas Willard’s books/quotes all I could see were the influence of mysticism, New Age, Desert Fathers, and NAR teaching.
I picked this book up at a FamilyLife Marriage Retreat and very disappointed they were selling this without taking that into account.
May 21, 2024
This book isn’t bad it’s just very simple. It doesn’t offer anything super new to the table. There was some convicting stuff and some very insightful stuff like divorce clusters. The last chapter was fantastic. But for the most part, I didn’t get much out of it
If you were someone who doesn’t believe in spiritual warfare as a Christian or someone who is brand new to the faith I think this book could provide some significant value.
If you were someone who doesn’t believe in spiritual warfare as a Christian or someone who is brand new to the faith I think this book could provide some significant value.
January 17, 2019
Ever wonder if the problems in your marriage are a result of spiritual warfare? This book will help you think about it through a biblical lens and give some guidelines for evaluating your situation and for others. Very helpful.
February 19, 2019
Short and sweet. Very readable and accessible. Interesting information on Ephesians and the Armor of God. Lots of practical tips.
March 6, 2019
Great provisions to strengthen your marriage
October 7, 2019
I've read many marriage books with my wife, but this one is far and away one of the best.
March 22, 2022
Great book for couples!
March 30, 2023
I appreciate how to prepare for battle in marriage. Anything that points to God’s truths and fight for my marriage is worth the read.
November 8, 2025
This book needs to be required reading for married people! I found it terribly humbling and hugely encouraging. It altered my perspective of the world, both mine and ours.
December 8, 2025
“remember, we win”
I was deeply interested in the theology, the ways we can fight spiritual warfare through our spiritual armor, and amazing tips on how to keep our marriage safe.
I was deeply interested in the theology, the ways we can fight spiritual warfare through our spiritual armor, and amazing tips on how to keep our marriage safe.
January 26, 2020
I would love to see more citations and evidence. I am favorable to the premise, but the skeptic inside me pushes back strongly and Muelhoeff doesn’t answer. I will be re-reading this again soon for more reflectionans thoughts on application.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews