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Battersea Parker #1
Battersea Parker
Malcolm's a man in his mid-thirties, very tall and quite handsome too. He's also a successful manager of a restaurant, has money in the bank and is a bachelor looking for true love. Would he still be an eligible bachelor though, if he was still a virgin? Would he still be desired, if he wore spectacles and was a little bit of a geek? Truth is, Malcolm is a wonderful man, but he seriously lacks confidence. He's been in love with the same woman for three years, yet she doesn't even know it and people would rather bully him, than offer him a real friendship. Malcolm leads a very dull and routine driven life. However, that's about to change with the introduction of Dexter, a South Londoner, with enough swagger, nerve and craziness for the both of them.
An adult comedy about one man's desire to be someone, followed by his dream to become a nobody yet again.
An adult comedy about one man's desire to be someone, followed by his dream to become a nobody yet again.
407 pages, Paperback
Published June 26, 2018
About the author
Jimmy Tudeski
13 books1,009 followersJimmy Tudeski is a script writer, author and ghost writer, best known for writing comedy memoir, or adult comedy fiction.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 151 reviews
July 7, 2018
With this book, what you see on the cover, is what you get. A book full of craziness, sex and comedy. It's definitely not a book that offers so much, then fails to deliver, because this just keeps on giving chapter by chapter. I laughed, I gasped, I almost died of embarrassment reading it. For a silly little comedy about two men, this sure does have a way of making you connect with its characters.
June 29, 2018
So rude, so funny!
July 7, 2018
OMG!! I was told to give this book a try by a friend and I'm so glad i did. A dangerous, risky and uncomfortable read to say the least, that left me in a world of laughter. I honesty couldn't put it down once I had started, the best comedy I've read in a very long time
September 24, 2018
JAM!!
This word pretty much sums up what I thought about this book and I love jam. It's clear this writer is very passionate about what he does and doesn't hold back trying to achieve it. Never have I ever read a book like this before, and I want more.
Dexter is a loveable rouge, Malcolm is a little wet behind the ears, Sally is like every female I know, and Candy is the perfect blonde bimbo, who isn't actually a blonde. Yes you could say the book plays out many stereotypes and jokes that sit-coms on TV have been doing for years, but this is far from predictable like they are. JAM!! I will say no more, yet it gave me nightmares for days!!!
This is a book I don't mind admitting, made me laugh. This is a book, where a writer doesn't follow the author handbook and seems to do what he likes with it. The pictures add extra vision and spice, the storyline is surprisingly charming. It's a dysfunctional love story, where it's characters are realistic enough to be people you might know yourself.
Personally, I would have rated this book a strong 3.5 - 4 stars, but seeing as it truly is a book I will never forget and it did make me smile loads, why not break the rules too? 5 stars, perfect start and I can't wait for the second one, as my partner decides to read it and a book for the first time.
This word pretty much sums up what I thought about this book and I love jam. It's clear this writer is very passionate about what he does and doesn't hold back trying to achieve it. Never have I ever read a book like this before, and I want more.
Dexter is a loveable rouge, Malcolm is a little wet behind the ears, Sally is like every female I know, and Candy is the perfect blonde bimbo, who isn't actually a blonde. Yes you could say the book plays out many stereotypes and jokes that sit-coms on TV have been doing for years, but this is far from predictable like they are. JAM!! I will say no more, yet it gave me nightmares for days!!!
This is a book I don't mind admitting, made me laugh. This is a book, where a writer doesn't follow the author handbook and seems to do what he likes with it. The pictures add extra vision and spice, the storyline is surprisingly charming. It's a dysfunctional love story, where it's characters are realistic enough to be people you might know yourself.
Personally, I would have rated this book a strong 3.5 - 4 stars, but seeing as it truly is a book I will never forget and it did make me smile loads, why not break the rules too? 5 stars, perfect start and I can't wait for the second one, as my partner decides to read it and a book for the first time.
June 29, 2018
I loved this book. It was very crude and very funny. I absolutely love Dexter. by far one of the best characters I've ever read in a book - Such a mess, so misunderstood, so adorable. Loved, loved, loved him.
February 29, 2020
I had recently heard of this author and his comedy, but the first thing that hooked me to this book was the stories setting in Battersea. Not only was it set in London, but I actually know of some of the areas it ventured to along the way.
The story itself finds a down on his luck character wanting a better life for himself, where he randomly comes across someone that you would never consider a prospective friend. This crazy man called Dexter befriends Malcolm and before long unlocks many doors for him, including the heart to Malcolm's dream girl Sally. Things don't always go to plan for the two friends and often Dexter's ideas land them in hot water and a lot of trouble.
The book isn't just funny, but every page turn delivers a shockingly new comical twist. Some of it is a little naughty and some of it just wrong, but it works. With a healthy balance of Dexter's childish behaviour and Malcolm's stiff upper lip, it's a bromance made it heaven and I really enjoyed reading it.
The story itself finds a down on his luck character wanting a better life for himself, where he randomly comes across someone that you would never consider a prospective friend. This crazy man called Dexter befriends Malcolm and before long unlocks many doors for him, including the heart to Malcolm's dream girl Sally. Things don't always go to plan for the two friends and often Dexter's ideas land them in hot water and a lot of trouble.
The book isn't just funny, but every page turn delivers a shockingly new comical twist. Some of it is a little naughty and some of it just wrong, but it works. With a healthy balance of Dexter's childish behaviour and Malcolm's stiff upper lip, it's a bromance made it heaven and I really enjoyed reading it.
June 27, 2018
It made me cringe, cry with laughter, and I totally become one with the characters. I really enjoyed it and for such a big book, it's a really fast read.
July 14, 2018
I'm torn as to how to rate this book. On one hand, for a first book, Tudeski nails the humour completely. Writing something funny is very hard to capture in literature form and I often found myself smiling or giggling to myself, but the comedy is written to a certain taste. I kept picturing Adam Sandler as Malcolm and Kevin Hart as Dexter, so if you know these two actors, you know the type of comedy I'm talking about here - One liners, rude jokes, smutty comments, sex, sex, sex!
Throughout the book Malcolm (the main character) did tug on my heart strings a little. He was a very lonely man and was bullied quite a bit for being different. The book is written in a way, that you do feel sorry for him, yet you also know he kind of brings it on himself. Whereas Dexter, everything goes wrong in his life, yet I didn't ever believe he was at fault, although it was him doing it. It's a bit like good cop, bad cop, yet in relationship form, where good guy Malcolm, brings on his own destruction, whereas bad cop Dexter, seemingly does everything wrong, yet gets it right.
The best part of the book for me, wasn't really one of the many huge chapters, but something Dexter said about break-up sex. This part of the book was genius and shows that Tudeski can and will write some very interesting and humour filled segments. I've honestly never thought of break-up sex being what Dexter claimed it was, yet i admit I've been there myself in real life and never see it until now. Yes, this book is an eye opening comedy too.
Dealing with a death, bullying, culture, racism and sexism isn't a easy thing to cover for many writers, but to handle it this well, in comedy form, shows this writer has talent. Yes, it's borderline X-Rated and disrespectful in places, but we've all got to remember it's a comedy.
I was again torn by the end of the book, to whether I would pick up another Tudeski book again, but after reading the dedication page at the back of it, you can actually tell why he writes in the style that he does. It's as tough he takes everything bothering him, or hurting him out of real life, then laughs at it as hard as he can. Once again, the part in the dedication about female readers is spot on. If you can read past the cringe-worthy moments, enjoy it for the comedy it is, you will then be rewarded with some very strong, yet hidden theories.
I'm not too proud to admit, I am a fan of Jimmy Tudeski and I really hope many other readers follow, because I can't wait to see what delicate topic he touches on next. Very enjoyable read, if you fancy something completely different for a change.
Throughout the book Malcolm (the main character) did tug on my heart strings a little. He was a very lonely man and was bullied quite a bit for being different. The book is written in a way, that you do feel sorry for him, yet you also know he kind of brings it on himself. Whereas Dexter, everything goes wrong in his life, yet I didn't ever believe he was at fault, although it was him doing it. It's a bit like good cop, bad cop, yet in relationship form, where good guy Malcolm, brings on his own destruction, whereas bad cop Dexter, seemingly does everything wrong, yet gets it right.
The best part of the book for me, wasn't really one of the many huge chapters, but something Dexter said about break-up sex. This part of the book was genius and shows that Tudeski can and will write some very interesting and humour filled segments. I've honestly never thought of break-up sex being what Dexter claimed it was, yet i admit I've been there myself in real life and never see it until now. Yes, this book is an eye opening comedy too.
Dealing with a death, bullying, culture, racism and sexism isn't a easy thing to cover for many writers, but to handle it this well, in comedy form, shows this writer has talent. Yes, it's borderline X-Rated and disrespectful in places, but we've all got to remember it's a comedy.
I was again torn by the end of the book, to whether I would pick up another Tudeski book again, but after reading the dedication page at the back of it, you can actually tell why he writes in the style that he does. It's as tough he takes everything bothering him, or hurting him out of real life, then laughs at it as hard as he can. Once again, the part in the dedication about female readers is spot on. If you can read past the cringe-worthy moments, enjoy it for the comedy it is, you will then be rewarded with some very strong, yet hidden theories.
I'm not too proud to admit, I am a fan of Jimmy Tudeski and I really hope many other readers follow, because I can't wait to see what delicate topic he touches on next. Very enjoyable read, if you fancy something completely different for a change.
August 31, 2018
Jimmy Tudeski, whilst reading your book, I hated you, then I loved you. Then you completely turned me off, then you turned me on again. What kind of writer puts his readers through so many emotions, yet produces one of the funniest books I've read in a long time? You do. Great book, very funny and a joy to read. I want to be a character in your next book, so where do I sign up?
June 30, 2018
This is the first dark/black comedy I've ever read, and I think I've found a new guilty pleasure. Extremely likeable characters, a story that continues to grow chapter by chapter, and a moral to the story about friends, friendships and acceptance. Great read 4 star
August 30, 2018
I've never read a book this funny book. It's very rude, but very enjoyable
July 9, 2026
So trashy😭
And yet I read it….
And yet I read it….
June 28, 2018
This book made me happy in places I didn't think I could be happy. It's basically a story between two male friends, with a lot of sexiness thrown into the mix. Malcolm is a geek, Candy is stupid, Sally is a shy girl waiting to come out and Mrs Pufflewoo is an old woman who can't speak very good English. With so many strong characters, it was hard to see them all gelling together, but in came Dexter (the craziest character of all) to amazingly put it all together. Great characters, funny at every page turn and a crazy book about friendships and sex that I found very hard to put down.
If you want a book that is going to make you smile and shock you all the time, I haven't read one like this in a long time.
If you want a book that is going to make you smile and shock you all the time, I haven't read one like this in a long time.
September 9, 2019
After reading the Thinking Racehorse, I kind of knew what to expect diving into this authors second book, yet I was completely wrong. I thought Chakalak tempted the boundaries of adult humour, but this book stepped over it and left it in the dust. Cringe worthy, shocking and pure and utter filth mostly, yet with a touch of Tudeski comedy that I'm very much starting to enjoy now. It's as though he's the only writer currently around that isn't scared to search out the laughs. Too many rules are ruining the humour today, but it's clear Tudeski isn't going to let that happen. Not to be read if easily offended, only to be read if you have a dirty mind x
January 23, 2020
Never having been to London myself, this book description and attention to detail and to its local area is pretty darn strong. The characters all completely different gel together really well, which often sparks incredible fireworks when needed. The story itself isn't one of the strongest I've read. In-fact, I don't actually know what it was about really. At a guess I would say it was a romance, or a story of brotherhood and friendship. With no moral to the story that I could find, this book did find me wanting that missing ingredient, but that definitely wasn't more laughter, because it's jam packed full of the stuff. Clever book by an author and can clearly write a good British comedy.
June 30, 2018
Distasteful, offensive, crude, sexual graphic in places, insulting, sexist, racist. I could go on and on describing what this apparent comedy touched on. I loved every motherfuc%ing second of it!
Written without fear to touch on nearly everything nobody else says, then delivered in such a style, you can only gasp, gag or giggle at every page turn.
I read both the kindle version of this book and the paperback and i must say, the paperback (with pictures inside) makes a much better read. For a debut novel, this was motherfuc%ing tops of the class.
Written without fear to touch on nearly everything nobody else says, then delivered in such a style, you can only gasp, gag or giggle at every page turn.
I read both the kindle version of this book and the paperback and i must say, the paperback (with pictures inside) makes a much better read. For a debut novel, this was motherfuc%ing tops of the class.
July 14, 2018
I remember when I was invited to write a few lines for a book this writer and Ashley Clancy were working on together. I knew he was supposed to be funny, because she used to tell me this, but I didn't imagine how funny.
This book isn't just a comedy, but a LOL at every page turn. My boyfriend kept asking me what I was giggling at in bed all the time, so I let him read it too. It's not only the first book he has read EVER, but a book he really enjoyed too. For a first time novel, this was pretty damn impressive
This book isn't just a comedy, but a LOL at every page turn. My boyfriend kept asking me what I was giggling at in bed all the time, so I let him read it too. It's not only the first book he has read EVER, but a book he really enjoyed too. For a first time novel, this was pretty damn impressive
September 19, 2019
This is a little like my everyday life. Chaos, sex talk and stupid men doing stupid things all the time, loved every second of it
September 30, 2019
I literally had tears in my eyes reading this book
December 10, 2019
I laughed so much xx
July 1, 2018
I Never really read a comedy before. Well, not like this anyway. The book basically follows a group of friends around, the story is told by Malcolm Parker and sex seems to be the main theme. Dexter tries to get with a girl from the speed dating event called Candy, yet she seems to end up in bed with everyone but him and Malcolm is hopelessly in love with Sally, yet he isn't man enough to tell her. It's basically a book of stereotypes thrown together, enabling the comedy to roll quicker. Yes, you could say stereotype comedy is predictable, but what makes this book so enjoyable is that is constantly shocks you during every chapter. It's as though your head thinks about what's going to happen before it happens (because it's clear in the writing) then it doesn't and spins of in a better direction.
This book for me was a super fast read, which was quite disappointing, because when you're enjoying something so much, you don't want it to end. I'm looking forward to seeing what this writer does next, because it's going to be hard to keep up the insanity in the next one.
Wonderful that the writer dedicated the book to Ashley Clancy. I was a huge fan of hers.
This book for me was a super fast read, which was quite disappointing, because when you're enjoying something so much, you don't want it to end. I'm looking forward to seeing what this writer does next, because it's going to be hard to keep up the insanity in the next one.
Wonderful that the writer dedicated the book to Ashley Clancy. I was a huge fan of hers.
April 26, 2020
This is a well written adult comedy about the friendship of two men, set in London, England. Dexter is a wannabe gangster, walking around as though he's not scared of anything, yet secretly terrified of everything. Next you have Malcolm, a nerd in all sense of the word, not able to be scared of anything, because he's lived such a sheltered life, and doesn't know there are dangers out there.
These two men somehow become friends and what unravels is a chaotic mixture of fun, laughter and craziness. Dexter's marriage to Becky is falling apart, Malcolm cannot capture the girl of his dreams in Sally, yet somehow over the duration of the book, these two comically help each-other find their feet, often landing themselves in the craziest of sexual situations ever. Along comes Candy, just a random women working in a clothes shop and what you have is three friends saying things, doing things and getting each-other into trouble, yet with the best intentions for possible.
This is a light hearted romp of sex, mayhem comedy and chaos about friendship and love. It's a story of whether the men, despite their sometimes immaturities can overcome the odds to settle down with their perfect women.
These two men somehow become friends and what unravels is a chaotic mixture of fun, laughter and craziness. Dexter's marriage to Becky is falling apart, Malcolm cannot capture the girl of his dreams in Sally, yet somehow over the duration of the book, these two comically help each-other find their feet, often landing themselves in the craziest of sexual situations ever. Along comes Candy, just a random women working in a clothes shop and what you have is three friends saying things, doing things and getting each-other into trouble, yet with the best intentions for possible.
This is a light hearted romp of sex, mayhem comedy and chaos about friendship and love. It's a story of whether the men, despite their sometimes immaturities can overcome the odds to settle down with their perfect women.
September 9, 2018
How wasn't this the funniest book I've ever read?
October 15, 2018
I wanted to laugh, I couldn't help but laugh, yet I knew it was wrong to laugh. This is all this book continuously makes you feel as you read it.
September 30, 2018
Disgusting, sexually disturbing & distasteful. I enjoyed every single page!!!!
August 30, 2019
Funniest book I've read in ages!!!
I fucking love you Dexter White!!!
I fucking love you Dexter White!!!
July 20, 2018
Cute, witty and dangerously funny in places. Dangerously funny whereas you want to laugh, but you know laughter would be wrong. Very entertaining and enjoyable read.
June 30, 2018
For an Asian girl to read an English comedy with two Chinese main characters, I must say it was refreshing to say the least. Yes the humour sometimes pushed itself to the limit but overall, if you have a sense of humour, you will love reading this book. Highly addictive, highly enjoyable!
July 8, 2018
I don't think I will ever read another book that isn't written by this author. Highly addictive read!!!
July 8, 2018
Garb a drink, grab your slippers and get ready to pee your pants
Displaying 1 - 30 of 151 reviews