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Mindfulness and Intimacy

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Go beyond mere mindfulness—and deepen your connection to your self, the people in your life, and the world around you.

Mindfulness is an ancient and powerful practice of awareness and nonjudgmental discernment that can help us ground ourselves in the present moment, with the world and our lives just as they are. But there’s a by focusing our attention on something (or someone), we might always see it as something other, as separate from ourselves. To close this distance, mindfulness has traditionally been paired with a focus on intimacy, community, and interdependence. In this book, Ben Connelly shows us how to bring these two practices together—bringing warm hearts to our clear seeing.

Helpful meditations and exercises show how mindfulness and intimacy can together enrich our empathetic engagement with ourselves and the world around us—with our values, with the environment, and with the people in our lives, in all their distinct manifestations of race and religion, sexuality and gender, culture and class—and lead to a truly engaged, compassionate, and joy-filled life

208 pages, Paperback

Published February 12, 2019

10 people are currently reading
83 people want to read

About the author

Ben Connelly

4 books25 followers
Ben Connelly is a Soto Zen teacher and Dharma heir in the Katagiri lineage. He also teaches mindfulness in a wide variety of secular contexts including police and corporate training, correctional facilities, and addiction recovery and wellness groups. Ben is based at Minnesota Zen Meditation Center and travels to teach across the United States. He lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

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5 stars
24 (40%)
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23 (38%)
3 stars
11 (18%)
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
Profile Image for Dena.
5 reviews2 followers
December 26, 2018
I’m just getting started on practicing mindfulness meditation to work with my depression and anxiety. A friend of the author posted about this book on social media, and the timing of it was perfect.

The book is a wonderful introduction to some of the basic philosophy behind Buddhist thought and meditation purpose. It also provides some great practices for beginners like me to become more mindful in my daily life.

I will seek out more from this author as I continue to grow in my practice of mindful living.
Profile Image for Daniel Dao.
113 reviews31 followers
May 21, 2020
This is a refreshing take on intimacy. Ben Connelly invites the reader to connect with the world, people around them, and of course, romantic partners. The term intimacy is generally shoved into the concept of romance, but Connelly does a great job showing how intimacy is pervasive in other aspects of life as well. Highly recommend if you’re interested in engaging more lovingly with your world and the people around you.
17 reviews
November 30, 2019
I picked up this book in my local library and I couldn't put it down! I'm rarely this engaged with nonfiction books. I recently purchased this book because I wanted to be able refer to it for my own mental well-being. I highly recommend this book to anyone. It truly has changed my life for the better.
Profile Image for S..
712 reviews149 followers
March 11, 2020
I was blessed to stumble upon this book. Just as I needed a better reminder to take more time and focus on the present moment, something easy to say but difficult to carry... It shouldn't be confused with a book about romantic and sexual intimacy, rather an intimacy of being all interconnected and interdependent: a social/spiritual/human ecosystem. What you can learn through this book, or be reminded of is to take time to dwell on the present moment (aka meditate), the importance of being a deep listener is equally important in the process of being mindful: "Mindful listening is a great open door to intimacy. You can meet another with pure presence, not with ideas, desires, or worries."
Let's just recall how all the almost mindful conversations we had were always pleasant, even when it was about solving a problem... By mindful I also mean a deep detachment from any on going emotion, ideas, or judgment... Just taking words as they are and doing your best to understand, not focusing on making the best punchline!
"Saint Francis wrote a prayer that says, “Let me seek to understand rather than be understood.”"

One final quote for readers :

"Read with an open mind and awareness of your reactivity. Practice honoring and respecting voices that challenge your own view. These voices are part of your community; they are a part of you."

Thanks for the blissful break, and making my commute a great learning opportunity!
78 reviews1 follower
December 13, 2022
Written in a very accessible style, with examples from "ordinary" lives, including the authors'. The book teaches about--and contains practices to build--greater connection with other people as well as the rest of creation. Although definitely deeply grounded in the Buddhist tradition, it explicitly connects to other faith traditions as well as secular understandings of mindfulness.
Profile Image for Crowgirl.
14 reviews16 followers
November 12, 2018
An excellent, straightforward introduction to a variety of mindfulness practices. Will be of great use to the beginner and of interest to the long-time sitter.

The wrong Ben Connelly is associated with this title here on GoodReads.
Profile Image for Colleen.
58 reviews
February 13, 2019
A beautifully written guide to integrating mindfulness and connection into our daily lives to promote healing and liberation for ourselves and our world.
Profile Image for Greg Soden.
158 reviews11 followers
March 26, 2019
Beautiful anecdotes, clear practices, and open to secular and religious people.
Profile Image for Naomi Ayala.
Author 8 books5 followers
November 3, 2019
A great read from the author of Inside Vasubandu's Yogacara. Chapters include exercises to bring mindfulness teachings into practice.
Profile Image for Todd Cheng.
556 reviews15 followers
January 2, 2021
Good Taste

A quick read and entry into mindfulness and the benefits of meditation. I appreciated the brevity of the topic and informal narrative.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews

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