Happiness Is the Way: How to Reframe Your Thinking and Work with What You Already Have to Live the Life of Your Dreams

by Wayne W. Dyer

The first book of spiritual teachings in several years from international best-selling author and beloved spiritual teacher Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. This book pulls from audio lectures of Wayne's from the 1990s and 2000s, restructuring them in a cohesive way to offer a fresh take on his teachings.

One of Dr. Wayne Dyer's favorite quotes was "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." So in this book, which collects some of Wayne's most classic teachings in a new format, you will find a novel solution for most any problem you may be encountering. For, as Wayne was also fond of saying, "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Personal Development, New Age

208 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2019

About the author

Wayne Walter Dyer was an American self-help author and a motivational speaker. Dyer earned a Bachelor’s degree in History and Philosophy, a Master’s degree in Psychology and an Ed.D. in Guidance and Counseling at Wayne State University in 1970. Early in his career, he worked as a high school guidance counselor, and went on to run a successful private therapy practice. He became a popular professor of counselor education at St. John's University, where he was approached by a literary agent to put his ideas into book form. The result was his first book, Your Erroneous Zones (1976), one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 100 million copies sold. This launched Dyer's career as a motivational speaker and self-help author, during which he published 20 more best-selling books and produced a number of popular specials for PBS. Influenced by thinkers such as Abraham H. Maslow and Albert Ellis, Dyer's early work focused on psychological themes such as motivation, self actualization and assertiveness. By the 1990s, the focus of his work had shifted to spirituality. Inspired by Swami Muktananda and New Thought, he promoted themes such as the "power of intention," collaborated with alternative medicine advocate Deepak Chopra on a number of projects, and was a frequent guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Reviews

[Emily Rainsford · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't make it past the third chapter of this absolute unmitigated garbage. How does it have such high reviews??

I've never read anything by Dyer and wow was I expecting something different. I was expecting something warm and compassionate, gently motivating. Instead I found him quite abrasive, very victim blamey, and HUGELY ego driven.

I do understand the whole idea of being responsible for your reactions to the outside world but Dyer takes it WAY too far and leaves no room for the fact that sometimes shitty things happen and it's pretty reasonable to be affected by it.

Dyer is sooooooo healthy guys, because of his thoughts alone. It's definitely not just luck and maybe he should have a little gratitude for his good fortune. No, it's because he THINKS healthy and therefore is healthy. That's how it works guys. He's also young. Did you know that if people didn't believe in ageing, it just wouldn't happen?? True facts. Hey Dyer, I got news for you buddy - u ded. Funny how your amazing and superior thinking skills didn't get you out of that one in the end.

The bit that really lost me was when he said he would never accept when his children told him they felt sick and would tell them they weren't sick and to get over it. Wow, you're just straight up gonna tell on yourself like that, that you were a gaslighting dickhead of a father without a shred of empathy or compassion?? Doesn't sound like someone I wanna take life advice from.

I'm no stranger to woo. I like woo. But this is harmful garbage and I am FLABBERGASTED that people rate this rubbish so highly.

[Dan Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wayne Dyer was hands-down one of the best self-help authors that ever existed. A prolific writer, Dyer also appeared on Public Broadcasting many times in video form to help them raise funds for their programming.
Unlike many self-help authors, Dyer tackles the spiritual dimensions of happiness and fulfillment, in addition to the more material aspects most authors emphasize.
What I found odd about this book is that Wayne Dyer passed away in 2015, and this book came out in 2019. Unless Dr. Dyer is writing from the grave, that means this is an attempt by his estate to convert some of his previous writings and speeches into a new book.
Much of the material was familiar to me as a listener to some of Wayne's greatest hits. His advice still rings true today. The book is an inspiring look at some of the most basic and important concepts in Dr. Dyer's teachings.
Among them:
- You get treated the way you teach other people to treat you.
- You are in control of your thoughts and feelings.
- Your thoughts, feelings, expectations and attitudes shape your world and your life.
- You are not your body, mind, job, nationality, race, religion or anything else. You are a being that temporarily inhabits all of those. (This was my favorite mind-blower)
- Say yes to new things.
- Don't seek love and happiness. Become them.
- It's never too late for a happy childhood.
- Look for peak experiences in both big and small moments of your life. Appreciate everything.
- Follow your bliss and do the things that express your uniqueness. Listen to inner signals.

Some might discount this advice as too touchy-feely, but if you're of that mindset, it can change your life for the better. Dyer includes personal stories from his own life to illustrate his points, and this book made me want to dive back into some of his other readings. The story of how he published his first best seller, Your Erroneous Zones, is inspiring in itself, and was followed by 21 other best-sellers, multiple audio programs, and several children's books. The man lived what he preached.
I highly recommend this book or any of his other best-sellers.

[Cathy Donnelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not think I could ever find enough words to express how much this book means to me. It will be one that I know I will read many times.

Wayne Dyer speaks from his heart beautifully, sharing the lessons he learned during his life in an easy-to-understand manner. There is no preaching in his words. He simply offers ways to move forward if we want to make our lives better and happier.

It would be pointless to say more because each person who reads and absorbs this book will no doubt realise in their own way how important and special his words are.

He is sadly missed from this earthly existence, but I am sure his words will span generations to come.

[Nina Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Writing a review for this book felt like an insurmountable task, I had to take a couple of weeks to fully let it sink it. There is so much wrong with this book that it was hard to decide what to prioritize commenting on.

This book is absurd (recommendations for journaling for 3.5 hours at a time absurd). As a self-help book, it is filled with generalizations and offers oversimplified solutions to complex problems. It has ridiculous and unsuited anecdotes. It completely lacks reliable evidence or research of any kind. The author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, has a very limited scope on real life suffering and hardships. This book is delusional at best and at worst has harmful guidelines for self-improvement and ideas on how to achieve a state of “happiness”.

On Good Reads this book has a 4.5 out of 5-star rating, 4–5-star reviews make up 81% of the ratings on this book. I was interested in this book because of Dr. Dyer’s background in education, as a professor of counseling psychology, and his work as a motivational speaker. This book declares itself the culmination of Dyer’s best teachings, taken from speeches, lectures, and his previous written works. It should be noted that his book, “Your Erroneous Zones” (1976) is one of the best-selling books of all time, according to Wikipedia, with over 100 million copies sold. In consideration of the former, and that it was on sale for $1.99 on Kobo, I decided to read it. The book is split into the following 3 parts:

• Part 1 explores the impacts personal attitudes, choices, and expectations have on your life, with a focus on, “responding with ability to all parts of your life”.

• Part 2 is probably where my initial red flags should have gone up, but I was still looking to like the book. This part “looks in depth at the concept of success, showing how backward the Western world’s idea of this is and how you are likely much more successful than you realized, regardless of any challenges you may be facing.”

• Part 3 looks at the importance of having a personal mission, with the addition of specific questions and charts to help guide you in making one. It’s my impression that it has become a commonly held belief that fulfillment and levels of happiness are linked to living a life of intention, following one’s “mission”. People are citing self-actualization occurring from dedicating their life to something greater than themselves, their mark in the world, regardless of their religion.

My review will be broken up into the following sections:
1. Was there an editor?
2. Mr. Wayne’s World – Advice given with no research or life experience to back it up
3. Eastern Teachings – Dyer’s curated favorites from “Eastern Philosophies” that supported his pre-existing ideas, notably omitting compassion a corner stone of such belief systems.
4. The funnies – Quotes to laugh by
5. The Takeaways – Point your moral compass away from Dr. Dyer
6. After thoughts – The incredible, uncredible author


Was there an editor?

This book is mind-boggling. At times Dyer makes no sense at all, and that is probably the most harmless thing about it. I wonder if he had an editor, or if the editor just gave up because of how nonsensical and disorganized Dyer’s thought tangents are. When I looked this book up on Amazon it says the following on their sales page:

“This book pulls from audio lectures of Wayne's from the 1990s and 2000s, restructuring them in a cohesive way to offer a fresh take on his teachings.” https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Way-...

If this book is considered cohesive, I cannot begin to imagine how perplexing Dyer’s lectures were. Below I have included direct quotes that had me thinking, “um, what?”

“You cannot please everyone all the time. It’s impossible. Also, every great idea comes from an innovator, and innovators are people who do things differently and are not trying to please everybody else. When you think about it, if you try to please everyone else, what do you personally have to offer?”

“As long as there’s that us-ness and me-ness and you-ness, there will never be an all of us together. What we need to do is go up in a spaceship together and look down at Earth and recognize that we are all inhabitants of this fragile little planet. Instead of looking for the things that separate us, instead of building more weapons that destroy us, we must begin looking for ways that we can all get along.”

Mr. Dyer is not capable of articulating a complete idea. The book’s conclusion was incredibly disorganized. It read like the ramblings of an old man who is clearly out of touch with reality as he tried to squeeze every little morsel of thought he has ever had into this book. These things make it hard for me to believe he worked with an editor of any kind.

Mr. Wayne’s World – Advice given with no research and no life experience to support it

Wayne has a very strange reality, and it is not one that I live in, nor is it one I would think most of the world lives in. He is very comfortable supplying advice to women and marginalized groups with little awareness of how they have experienced the world. I highly doubt any of the following recommendations come from lived experience and we know they don’t come from research or evidence.

• On childbirth:
“If you’ve never had a child before, of course it’s going to be a little scary. You’ll hear stories about how it’s going to be painful because they are called labor what? Pains. And if you go in with the attitude that it’s just going to be awful, then sure enough, that’s how it will be.”

• On racism:
“You can always find something negative if that’s what you’re looking for. If you want to see an increase in racism in the world, you only have to look around and you’ll see it.”

• On surviving the Holocaust:
“If a no-limit person got sentenced to solitary confinement, they’d know how to make that work for themselves. That’s what anybody who has ever put under horrible conditions, like the survivors of Nazi concentration camps, was able to do.”

• On Financial Difficulty, (not for those with low income or designated as in poverty):
“ The answer to that is, “If you think abundance, abundance will rain into your life.” There’s also the whole business of how addicted you are to your way of life, to the belief that you have to have the kinds of bills you have.”

• On Death (not for those who are terminally ill or dealing with loss):
“It’s my contention that the no-limit person can choose when to do die – they can even do that.”

Eastern Teachings with no Compassion – Lead with Love, but for yourself not for others

A chapter titled, Lead with Love, is focused on calling people who won’t do what he wants or work faster, “ducks”. These are the people who “lead with impossibility”, A.K.A people who follow the rules and don’t bend them to satisfy his demands. Most of the chapter are stories of his terrible behavior towards people in customer service roles just doing their jobs. He says, “she quacked”, regarding a bank teller who sets boundaries of completing one task at a time while he tries to get her to do his task first. He then gives advice on how to “find the eagles”, the people who will bend the rules for you. Great advice Wayne.

He advises taking control of how other people treat us through othering those people, saying “This is their behavior, they own this.” He fails to question his impact on the interaction that might have people respond to him unsatisfactorily. In the same rambling, he recommends treating yourself like something so valuable it can never get abused while also recommending blaming oneself if abuse occurs. For someone who picks through Eastern philosophies like a buffet, he completely forgets the value of compassion and offering support to others by first validating their hurt. Here is his recommendation on dealing with sick children:
“When I hear a whiny, complain-y, “I don’t feel well” type of thing, I kind of let that go. Instead, I respond to how well they look: “You look wonderful today. You’re so healthy. Look at what you can do.” In other words, it’s reinforcing wellness instead of illness, and I’m refraining from giving my children rewards for being sick. In this way they are learning to respond with ability and choose health.”

The Funnies

If you can read this book in the right frame of mind, you can get a lot of laughs from the delusional advice of Mr. Dyer. Below I have included some of my personal favorites.

“If you are uncoordinated, a lousy cook, poor at mathematics, not very attractive, or what have you, it’s because you allowed that into your life. So, if you don’t like the result of the choices you’ve been making up until now, then get off the blame wagon and get on the self-responsibility train.”

“Television tells you when to get a cold because they want to sell you cough medicine or nose spray or whatever it is they’re advertising. But you can make that decision for yourself, after all, you are not your form.”

“I don’t think myself as a person who has any special gift other than that I don’t want to spend my days being sick... I believe in it strongly for myself and for those who want to make that choice -by simply watching what you eat and not thinking sick and keeping yourself physically active.” (Chapter 3 – Notably titled. “What Do you Expect?”)

Can you imagine telling these ideas to someone who is terminally ill, with say cancer or an auto immune disorder? I do believe as people we have a lot of control over our lives, maybe even more liberally than other people at times, but it is downright insane to tell people that they have the mental control to keep sickness at bay. I would have really enjoyed some research to support these claims. His caricatures of a no-limits person just become funnier as the book rolls on.

“A no-limit person’s expectation is, I’ve got my own parking place. I know that when I get there, somebody may be using it. I’m not selfish; I don’t think it should be vacant all the time. But now that I am here, whoever is in my place, I’d like you to get out, please. Sure enough, they always have a place to park.”

The Takeaways – My Moral Compass Has Been Reassessed

This book was useful in that I realized if any of my previously held beliefs were alluded to, they needed serious revaluation because everything in this book is very wrong. In many ways Dyer avoids taking responsibility for how his actions and words impact others. He preaches how to sidestep taking accountability for your actions by pushing the agenda of living in the present to essentially pretend the past no longer exist.

“But berating somebody for what they should have or could have or would have done is a waste of time.”

In another instances he talks about how threatening others is more impactful than trying to get them to understand their past mistakes. The past has disappeared, why talk about it? You cannot hold people or yourself accountable if you pretend their behavior vanished in time, words and actions have lasting impacts on others. A positive takeaway from this book is that it is an excellent compass for what not to do and what kind of person not to be, and if you read it from that perspective, Dr. Dyer has some wonderful teachings.

After Thoughts

After reading the book, I did a little research on Dr. Dyer and was terrified to learn he worked in education counseling in the early years of his career. It should also be noted that Dyer’s success is as credible as the ideas in this book,

“Psychologist Albert Ellis wrote that Dyer's book Your Erroneous Zones was probably "the worst example" of plagiarism of Ellis's Rational Emotive Therapy (RET).[17] In a 1985 letter to Dyer, Ellis claimed that Dyer had participated in an Ellis workshop on RET before he published Your Erroneous Zones, in which Dyer appeared to understand RET very well. Ellis added that "300 or more people have voluntarily told me... that [the book] was clearly derived from RET." Dyer never apologized nor expressed any sense of wrongdoing.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Dyer

This is clearly unsurprising behavior because as we know, there’s no need to ridicule someone for what “they should or shouldn’t have done”. This guy is likely a narcissist, and though it is largely agreed upon that narcissism exists on spectrum, I am fairly confident Mr. Dyer’s case falls on the very deep end.

I read the book’s foreword after I read the book, in hindsight reading it first might have better shaped my expectations and even altered my decision to read it. In the foreword, there is a memorable moment of Wayne saying, “I just want to know who the f**k this Reid Tracy at Hay House is, as they tell me he decided not to bring any of my books to this event. I’m an author and need my books available when I speak.” This sounds exactly like the arrogant and demanding person I would expect wrote this book.

[Calypso · Rating 5 out of 5]

La felicidad es el camino.

¿Así o más sencillo?

El último año estuvo lleno de retos y momentos donde la desesperación hizo mella. Este libro leído de a poco me ayudó a mantener el rumbo.

Hoy, a 2 de enero de 2022, continúo el ciclo con la mentalidad puesta en llenar el camino de felicidad.

[James Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Wayner Dyer demonstrates how all actions are reactive and proactive. We are either conscious or unconscious in our decision-making. The individual who reframe their thinking towards self has the ability to walk in love and to live in love. I learned that no one has ever been responsible for my actions. It has always been me, and I am the only individual who can change me. Another must read!

Dr. James Arthur Williams
www.unmaskytp.com

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was excited to read this Wayne Dyer book. I bought the ebook and started in October and finished it in March, so I stuck with it. Dyer gave a lot of "think you can" advice that I found unhelpful and uninspiring. Just disappointed with this new book that is a collection of his writing.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped reading in the first chapter when he stated he never gets depressed and, “...I just don’t believe it’s only natural, normal, or human to be those things. I think it’s only self-defeating.”

[Victoria · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was possibly the least inspirational self-help book I’ve ever read; it did not resonate with me on hardly any level. I kept thinking, “this is like calling a meeting when an email would have sufficed.” I found the comment about it being harsh/abrasive, victim blame-y, and ego driven to fit my feelings as well. I felt like this is another arrogant white guy who just likes to hear himself talk. Also, this book was very redundant. I also found many of his stories where he was “finding a way” customer service nightmares. So glad I never had to interact with him when he had something “wrong”. I can’t imagine basically telling someone they are a duck and you need an eagle. Negative feelings aside, this book did have some good concepts, such as visualization, positive thinking, having passion for what you’re “selling”, and realizing what are outside factors that you really have no power over. Many of them I heard in a recorded talk on his other book “You’ll See It When You Believe It” and found that to be slightly more enjoyable. It was also only an hour, so if you want to know about him, I recommend starting with that. He didn’t come across so arrogant on tape. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like books that you can kind of pick up and read from wherever. I read 90% all the way through though. Um, I liked some quotes that if I ever have the energy I’ll put here or in my journal, but the part about your childhood and parents altering your life; but if you let them do that as a child that’s on you, is a weird concept and I didn’t much agree with that. OH, and the guy whose wife cheated and wants to take all his money and kids away; “give her that and more” I’m sorry, wuuuttt?!?. How is the child supposed to know better than the adult? Why would he give up all his money and kids? Confusion

[Sarah Brousseau · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book 68/75: Happiness Is the Way: How to Reframe Your Thinking and Work with What You Already Have to Live the Life of Your Dreams by Wayne W. Dyer. An interesting take on reframing the mind. I felt this one was contradictory at times and contained a lot of "but" statements and I couldn't take it as seriously as I would have liked because in my own head, saying "but" invalidates a lot of what was said prior to that.

[Alexandra Nitu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reading

Clear, easy to practice, funny and relatable teachings. Less “mystical” than Hicks, but describing the same immutable principles and techniques. I discovered this Dyer writings when I felt a visceral need for a “refreshers course” in positivity and he did more than that. The book not only sedimented what I already new, but added more color and gifted me fresh perspectives.

[Jonathan H. MONTES · Rating 3 out of 5]

I believe that I've read another book from Wayne Dyer, probably his most famous book. I cannot remember the title but decided to give this one a try. It was alright. Not the greatest book I've read on the subject of happiness but enough to really make you think about life and what you need to be happy.
Bottom line: it's up to you to take charge of your life and happiness. Looking outwardly for happiness will not cut it. If you are interested in learning about that subject, this might be the book for you.

Annotations from Kindle:
Happiness is the Way
Dr. Wayne Dyer
p.09) We recommend that you keep a journal with you as you read, so you can jot down ideas to return to later.
p.11) Happiness: Many people have spent their lives searching for it, thinking that it can be found in something or someone else. That is a fundamental mistake. I have come to learn that happiness is something that we are, and it comes from the way we think.
p.11) everything that you experience in your life is a result of your perception of whatever is out there in the world. In other words, you have to take responsibility for all aspects of your life.
p.12) If you’re not getting along with somebody at work, if you’re having difficulty in you relationships and feeling victimized, if your children don’t respect you, look at yourself first and ask, “what is it about me, and what can I change in order to help myself not feel victimized?”
p.13) You see, my personal evolution has brought me to the point of understanding that each and every one of us must take total responsibility for our own inner development.
p.14) Again, I return to the notion of ownership: It is empowering to realize that whatever is going on inside you is entirely up to you. It is all yours.
p.20) If you keep telling yourself that you cannot do something, you’ll act on that belief. See yourself doing and having the very best in life-you’ll find that as you think, so shall you be.
p.21) I will not stand there and be physically, mentally, intellectually, or spiritually abused by anyone, ever, because I know that in allowing this to happen, I have given that person permission to treat me that way.
p.21) Think of yourself as something so valuable that it should never be abused. Suppose you had a beautiful vase that was worth 1 million: you would never abuse that. You wouldn’t play catch with it. You wouldn’t throw it on the floor. You would probably put in somewhere safe where it couldn't be damaged.
The same thing is true of yourself. You are valuable and so is your vessel of a body. And most poor treatment-including someone’s own smoking, overeating, alcoholism, or whatever-comes from a fundamental belief that what I’m abusing isn’t worth anything.
Similarly, most people who are lonely feel this way because they don’t like whom they’re alone with. If you like the person you’re alone with, being alone is never lonely.
p.22) You are absolutely whatever you decide to believe. So if you don’t like the result of the choices you’ve been making up until now, then get off the blame wagon and get on the self-responsibility train.
Journal) Take a moment to think about the concept of attitude. Then write down some areas where you would like to take more responsibility in your life. How can you change your attitude and move away from being self-defeating? What do you need to do to become a no-limit individual? How do you think your new views could help our planet at large?
p.29) If you don’t have self-esteem, get up off your rear end and do anything that will make you feel a little bit better about yourself, and then do it again and do it again.
p.31) We can all control our feelings by learning to change only one thing: the way we think. That’s it.
p.41) Everything in the universe is exactly as it should be. So stop judging it, including that part that is yourself, and go to work. Resolve the things that you don’t like and accept those you can do nothing about.
Journal) Think about reframing the negative statements that frequently go through your mind by turning them into positive affirmation. Write a few of these positive statements down in your journal, and then post them where you can see them throughout the day.
p.48) What do you expect is possible for you as a human being? Do you ever think about that?
p.52) When there’s something you're really interested in doing, fatigue magically seems to disappear. Like mowing the grass and then someone inviting you to a party.
p.53) The fact is that you have to let go of the story you’ve been telling yourself, that what has happened to you in the past forever decides your present.
p.55) You are not your relationships. You are something that is observing the relationship and someone who is in a relationship itself. This means that when a relationship ends or “fails,” it doesn’t make you a failure.
p.63) At the very tiniest quantum level, everything is just energy, so in a world where everything is energy and there is no form, that which you observe is what you create.
Journal) Try the assignment I was given by Milton Kavinsky: find a time when you can set aside three and half hours, and see what happens when you write in your journal for that length of time about who you are, without using labels. What does this exercise help you see? And how can you bring that powerful presence to the forefront in your life, so you can more effectively manifest your desires into form?
p.76) Understand that as you sit here right now, no one has ever thought what you are thinking. No one has ever occupied the space you occupy. Really try to comprehend what philosophers call “the existential aloneness”-that you are alone in the universe, and you must experience that aloneness in such a way that you never allow yourself to feel down or depressed by it.
Nobody can ever get behind your eyeballs and feel what you feel and experience what you experience, except for you.
p.77) In fact, it was once estimated that if we were to try to reproduce one human brain and all of its abilities in a computer, it would take a piece of land the size of the state of Texas in order to house that machine. Imagine that.
You’ve got his fantastic computer, but how much of it do you use?
p.78) It can do anything. It’s your will. It’s your life. It’s all there in that computer, which you only use a fragment of. It’s time to change that.
p.83) You see, progress cannot happen if you always do things the way you’ve always done them. As long as you are willing to stay as you are or to stick with the familiar or never try out anything new, then it is by definition impossible to grow.
p.88) I found out in working with people that almost everyone is looking for excuses, rather than taking responsibility for their own lives.
p.100) We all have those inner signals, or instincts, about what is right for us, but we seldom follow them.
p.123) Every great idea comes from an innovator, and innovators are people who do things differently and are not trying to please everybody else.
p.124) Much of what you’re envisioning that’s so terrible, all the disasters you think are going to befall you as a result of taking that chance, is only in your head.
Get out there and do what you need to do!
p.124) Most people find out that having a sense of personal mission about themselves is invaluable. There is no price tag you can put on how you feel each day when you’re doing something that is important to you.
p.138) There’s no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There’s only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen. That’s very important. Whatever it is that’s your bliss, know that there are people out there someplace making a living off of it.
p.158) If you suddenly discovered that you had six months to live, how would you change your life?
p.160) How much sleep do you think you would get if you had no clock and no ability to measure time? Do you really need all that sleep?
END

[Christine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I quit this book at the 20% mark.

I'd kinda like to throw the book against a wall (not really) ... but, contrary to what Dyer thinks, that's actually not healthy.

Dyer says: "Keeping anger bottled up can lead to health problems." ... "If you ask me, it's healthier to let out what you are feeling in terms of frustration than it is to keep it in. ... try taking a pillow and slamming it up against the wall or screaming into it."

This is the point at which I finally decided to stop reading: Dyer says "if you ask me" which means that none of what he has said, or is about to say, is grounded in anything except his own opinion. Letting the anger out is a Freudian idea that has since been debunked, and debunked long before this book was released. Letting the anger out, or amping up angry energy, only amplifies the anger. Learning how to manage anger should not include more violence and anger.

I've read enough to know (unless he changes his tune from 21% and on) that Dyer is a fellow who thinks that all of one's problems are in one's head. Of course, at a very basic level, there is truth to that. Everything is in our heads! However, to simply say that if you wake up in the morning and choose happiness that all good things will follow ... frankly, that's dismissive. If only it were that simple. Mental health is nuanced.

Dyer writes: "Imagine growing up learning not to like yourself and then taking that self everywhere you go. A lot of people do that, and it's one of the silliest things. You are absolutely whatever you decide to believe."

This snippet is the best example, for me, of the absolute shallowness of Dyer's message.

So, imagine someone growing up learning not to like themselves. Imagine that. At best, they are someone who struggles naturally with self-confidence/self-worth, and at worst, they are someone who survived a home life or childhood that was horribly damaging. Regardless, to say to anyone of these people that they should simply decide to believe they are worthy, is condescending.

In cases such as this, big or small, it is important to invest time and energy into self-care (including positive self-talk), and rewriting the scripts, and reversing the brainwashing that's occurred in your younger years, but it takes time and work. It's not just a matter of telling yourself you're being silly, or that you've got a bad attitude.

My motto, when it comes to self-help books is that there's one for everyone. What works for me may not work for you. This book may be just the book for someone out there. To others, Dyers' words will be harmful because they actually suggest that the problem is all a result of you and your own poor choices and weaknesses. That's dismissive.

It's time to dismiss this book.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.2 stars. Really good premise. And several really good pearls along the way. It just felt a bit clunky and random. And some of the tenants are either outdated or not in balance with real life. Like you can think yourself from becoming sick. Revamping your life may be needed but shanking what you have built or shirking the day to day of living is just not practical. It is great to have big dreams but it really needs to be grounded in reality.

[Laurel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful Easy Read

I loved this book filled with so much insightful wisdom and practical examples to illustrate the key concepts. It was an enjoyable read and I'd highly recommend it.

[Roxy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much great food for thought in this empowering book, as we look at our attitudes, the choices we make and the expectations we have....We have the power to overcome. We just need to harness that power, to propel ourselves forward into more peace-filled lives of gratitude and love.

[Arastoo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am biased, I am a fan of Wayne Dyer. His message is clear: Take Ownership of your life and move forward with love.

[Elena Mignone · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best “self improvement” books I’ve ever read everything just makes so much sense

[Emily Harris · Rating 2 out of 5]

would I recommend this book? There are some valuable takeaways in this book, but enough ableist commentary for me not to put it on my recommendations list.

- the main objective of the book is to inspire you to take control of your thoughts, attitude, perception and overall mindset in order to “follow your bliss”, lead a life as a “no-limit” person.
- “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” - the opening line

- According to Dyer, in order to be a truly happy person you need to understand that “everything that you experience in your life is a result of your perception of whatever is out there in the world” - meaning you are responsible for all aspects of your life.
- “awakened” people that aren’t driven by ego, don’t allow failure to immobilize them.

- “I can control my thoughts. My feelings come from my thoughts. Therefore, I can control my feelings” is an example of the kind of statement that made me nearly not finish the book. A statement like this is dismissive of mental health disorders - if only ‘controlling my thoughts and feelings’ worked as easily as Dyer seems to think.. manic depressive episodes may become a thing of the past! Similar to Dyer’s take on illness, and how you can simply ‘decide’ you won’t be ill & apparently it’s ‘television’ telling you when to get a cold to sell you medicine. Sounds as though Dyer had an issue with the American medical system and could have probably left these statements out of the book… he also believes it is ‘self defeating’ to be depressed - as if it is a choice. Then there is the weird ‘duck vs eagle’ analogy in which he essentially outs himself as a bit of an ass by asking the kitchen at a restaurant for food after the kitchen was closed- and equating the waiter saying no to him being a ‘duck’ and not having the right attitude. He would suggest in situations something similar to saying ‘please bring out someone who doesn’t already believe it can’t be done. I want to talk to a human being who doesn’t believe it ‘can’t be done’. I can only imagine a Karen reading this passage and being delighted and empowered to continue asking service workers to complete impossible tasks.

- interesting chapter in regards to defining the ‘unlabelable’ part of yourself. Define yourself but do not use any labels such as gender, occupation, age, religion etc - what would you come up with?
- when it comes to what others think, it’s important to remember that their opinions are just that - not necessarily the truth, or at least your truth. Opinions have little value on their own it’s what we do with them that makes the difference. Considering what other people think of you is living your life by external motivation and you can’t enjoy true success this way.
- “the most important thing to learn in life is a sense of appreciation for yourself”
- other takeaways: it’s important to go back in your life and take ownership of how you reacted, failure is only bad when you equate it with your self-worth. Every second you spend upset/hurt from the behaviour of another person is you essentially saying ‘what you think of me is more important than what I think of myself’. Telling people what they should have done is not constructive. Live your life your way and successes will follow. Your sense of purpose comes from your internal motivations, what you feel about yourself, how much you’re growing and experiencing the world’.

[ReadingMama · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my 3rd book from Dr. Dyer and each time, I agree with what he is saying… As a matter of fact, his life attitude is the same as mine. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!” This book pulls from audio lectures of him from the 1990s - 2000s. And here are some key points
~ Opinions are of very little value by themselves. It is only what we do with them that makes any difference in the world.
~ The only thing I can control is my character which comes from my thoughts and the love I have inside.
~ You have to live everyday fully rather than postponing your gratification or purpose in pursuit of something in the future that may or may not arrive.
~ It is vital to maintain a sense of spirituality about yourself, a sense of compassion and caring, love and decency for everyone you meet.
~ Treat conflict and difficulties that come your way as opportunities to learn how to transcend them.
~ Importance of laughter: how therapeutic it is to be able to laugh at ourselves and others and not take life so seriously
~ Virtually everything in your life boils down to what kinds of attitudes and beliefs you have about any given situation.

행복은 도달점이 아니라, 한걸음씩 나아가면서 경험으로 만끽해야한다. 오늘도 새벽에 일어나, 아무도 가지않은 트레일을 제일먼저걸으면서, 따쓰한 커피맛을 즐기며, 아름다운 하늘을 사진에 담그고, 아직까지 남아있는 블랙베리 따먹으면서, 촉촉한 아침이슬, 너무덥지않은 새벽공기 들어마시는 난, 행복하다. 다섯 센스 (보고, 먹고, 마시고, 듣고 또 피부로 만끽하면서..) 지금내 삶에 일어나는 내주위의 사건들, 내가 어떻게 인지함에 따라, 내 행복이 자우된다. 인간은 자신의 생각을 통제할수있다. 그리고 감정은 생각에서 온다. 그러므로, 생각을 바꾸며는 감정역시 바꿀수있다. 우리의 인생은 각자의 선택만으로 결정된다. 우리는 외적동기보다는 내적동기로 움직일때 더 효괒적이다. 우리는 조화로운 우주의 일부이며, 매일 새로운 선택을 통해서 진화해간다. (지금 이순간에도 SH#1 은 내게 부정 불편 메세지를 4개나 보내고 있다. 난 무시해 버리고, 삭제 시키고, 내생각 근처 에도 접근 못하게 방어 퇴치, 찢어버릴테다. 그 아무도 내마음의 평화, 기쁨을 부정적인생각으로 물들이수는 없다…)

나는 내 이름이 아니고, 내 직업이 아니고, 내 식구가 아니��, 내 과거는 더욱더 아니다. 대신 난 매일 새로운 생각으로 경험으로 거듭나고 있다.
이런 우리의 새로운 생각은 신체로 외부로 확장된다. 다른 사람의 의견 은 내게 상처 줄수없고 나를 화내게 하거나 나를 파괴시킬수 없다. 나에겐, 내가 원하는 방향으로 날 이끌어 낼 의지와 영향력과 능력이 있다. 만약에 내가 암에 걸리면, 내겐 두가지 선택 1)암이 날 쓰러트릴것인가 2)내가 암을 쓰러트릴까. 난 2번을 선택할것이다. 난 내주도권을 행사하고, 내뜻대로 내 삶을 계획하고, 살아간다. 내말대로, 생각대로 그대로 이룰것을 믿으며, 무한한 내 가능성에 도전하면서, 오늘을 만끽하면서, 감사하면서, 희망하면서, …. 사랑하면서…

[Karen Hewitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Happiness Is the Way: How to Reframe Your Thinking and Work with What You Already Have to Live the Life of Your Dreams" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is an inspiring and transformative book that offers profound insights into the pursuit of genuine happiness. With its wisdom, practical guidance, and uplifting message, it unquestionably deserves a five-star rating.

One of the book's standout qualities is its emphasis on the power of mindset and perspective in achieving happiness. Dr. Dyer guides readers on a journey to reframe their thinking and embrace a more positive and fulfilling way of life. His words serve as a beacon of hope for those seeking lasting happiness.

Moreover, "Happiness Is the Way" is filled with practical exercises and actionable advice that readers can immediately apply to their lives. Dr. Dyer's teachings are not just theoretical; they are designed to help individuals make tangible changes in their thoughts and behaviors.

Additionally, the book encourages self-reflection and introspection. Dr. Dyer invites readers to explore their beliefs, fears, and desires, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves and their aspirations.

Furthermore, Dr. Dyer's compassionate and empathetic writing style makes the book accessible and relatable. His genuine desire to help readers find happiness shines through every page.

In conclusion, "Happiness Is the Way" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is a powerful and uplifting guide to living a happier and more fulfilling life. Its emphasis on the role of mindset, practical exercises, and compassionate message make it a must-read for anyone seeking true happiness. Without a doubt, it deserves a five-star rating for its transformative impact and its ability to inspire positive change. Highly recommended.

[Sara Ache · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some keypoints taken from the book :

• If you’re waiting to feel more confident about doing something, just go for it. Break it down into smaller milestones if it feels easier, and allow your confidence to grow.

• Does someone regularly treat you with disrespect? Confront them. Make it clear that you will no longer allow them to treat you that way.

• Keep a daily journal of your emotions, events that have gone on throughout the day, and anything that concerns you or makes you happy. This journal will be invaluable in helping you to identify triggers or issues that you need to face.

___
Summary of the book :

- If someone gives you advice and you take it, it’s not their fault if it doesn’t work out. You accepted that advice. It was your choice. A person struggling with external motivation will blame that person and decide that their downfall is their fault. It’s not. Everything is on you.

- Everything that doesn’t go your way also creates a learning opportunity. You can learn your lesson and make things better next time, or you can continue blaming others and refusing to take responsibility.

- Following a list of so-called societal rules causes nothing but unfulfillment. Everything becomes drab and predictable. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or causing problems, there’s no reason you can’t simply ignore the rules and follow your own path instead.

- Simply taking responsibility for your choices, your actions, or how you allow others to treat you will have a massive impact on your life and how you feel about it.

[Melanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought I would really enjoy this book. One of my friends recommended it to me.

The concepts in this book are very broad, it's not really a specialized book. They are very basic life concepts, that if you have been in the self-development world for any amount of time you have probably already come across these concepts (and in a deeper way) than this book shares.

I would not recommend this book. I think it may be alright if you are an absolute beginner to self-development or haven't had much exposer to basic life concepts.

The journaling prompts at the end of each chapter weren't bad and probably the best parts of the book. But it still didn't make this book good enough to recommend. But they were still somewhat basic reflection questions.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Happiness is the Way" is a comforting and easy-to-read book that mixes lessons with a relaxing story. From the very first page, I found myself drawn into the author's insightful perspective on finding true happiness and inner peace. The book opened my eyes to many aspects of my life, particularly in understanding myself and how to navigate social situations with empathy.

What sets this book apart is the author's ability to explain concepts through relatable stories and personal experiences with his patients. Each chapter feels like a gentle guide, leading you step by step towards greater mindfulness and peace.

I highly recommend "Happiness is the Way" to anyone seeking to reach their mental well-being and find tranquility. It's a book that doesn't just teach, it transforms.

[Charlotte · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really struggled with this book. To be honest, it felt very repetitive, the same idea repeated over and over with slightly different examples. The message that “what happens outside doesn’t matter, it’s only how you choose to react” comes across as overly simplistic and frankly unrealistic. Life isn’t always that easy to compartmentalize.

I also found a strange contradiction: the author often criticizes people with “too much ego,” yet spends much of the book giving advice on becoming a kind of “no-limit / higher person / elevated one.” It came across as self-congratulatory rather than truly insightful.

This was my first book from this author, and probably my last. I honestly don’t understand all the glowing reviews. For me, it was too repetitive, too egocentric, and ultimately a DNF.

[Suzanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

A friend offered me this book.
The book was published in 2019. This is not a book written by the author, but rather the collection of his audio scripts.
The book contains 150 pages and 12 chapters.
I needed two full days to read a book.
I have already read one of the author’s books.
This is the second one.
The book is maybe rather ok self-help book for the ones starting reading and discovering self-help.
The book was quite annoying to read, and there is no right target, the flow of the book, and many elements are not justified, and misleading.
If you want to read W. Dyer books, avoid this one.

[Dianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A cool book about a very helpful teaching, happiness is the construction of your inner being. No one can give you happiness if you choose not to feel it and the way you see problems and experiences says a lot about you.

Being whole means seeing the silver lining always, being positive and seeing even the bad stuff as a step to move higher. Very cool thing to do. I totally recommend this way of thinking, it changes lives.

Wayne Dyer is a friend of a beloved author I love to read Joe Dispenza so I listen to his teachings because they truly work, life’s to short to see the glass empty. Spread love and happiness and joy.

It will change your life.

[Rick · Rating 2 out of 5]

Certainly has some good ideas such as the importance of reframing, taking responsibility for yourself and your situation, willingness to pursue your dreams but have to say I wasn't a fan of his writing style. The one quote I liked was "Do you see the world as it is or as you are" to minimize the amount of judgement as a filter for what we see. The tone he used in my opinion was far to preachy for my taste, the way I felt he was directing the reader that this is the only way to happiness based on his life experiences. Doubt I would read another of his books.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of those authors who love to use terms like “enlightened” or “awakened” and see themselves superior to others. Total lack of empathy.

Also switches examples in the middle of an explanation, e.g. situation A with a bad reaction and situation B (completely unrelated) with a good reaction instead of explaining what could’ve been done better in situation A. How is someone supposed to learn from this?