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The First True Thing
In the two weeks since her drunken bike accident, Marcelle has been forced to look deeply at her own life. She’s clean and sober now, attending a tough-love version of after-school rehab, and barely hanging out with her user friends. Then one night she gets a mysterious text from her best friend, Hannah, asking Marcelle to cover for her.
It’s a small, simple lie. But Marcelle learned in group therapy not to enable her drug-using friends. One lie could lead Marcelle back to a dark, dangerous place. But it’s Hannah: beautiful, messed-up, in-deeper-than-anyone-knows Hannah. So Marcelle gives in.
The next morning, Hannah is missing. Marcelle was the last one to hear from her . . . and now she’s lying to everyone—her parents, Hannah’s mom, and Hannah’s troubled boyfriend. How long can Marcelle go on before she admits to herself what she has to do? If she comes clean about what she knows, can she save Hannah?
It’s a small, simple lie. But Marcelle learned in group therapy not to enable her drug-using friends. One lie could lead Marcelle back to a dark, dangerous place. But it’s Hannah: beautiful, messed-up, in-deeper-than-anyone-knows Hannah. So Marcelle gives in.
The next morning, Hannah is missing. Marcelle was the last one to hear from her . . . and now she’s lying to everyone—her parents, Hannah’s mom, and Hannah’s troubled boyfriend. How long can Marcelle go on before she admits to herself what she has to do? If she comes clean about what she knows, can she save Hannah?
256 pages, Hardcover
First published April 23, 2019
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2197 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
October 9, 2020
The First True Thing is both a mystery and a book about a teen working through the hard parts of recovery.
The mystery is that Marcelle’s friend Hannah is missing, and Marcelle was the last person to hear from her. What happened? What should she do? And if she tells the truth, the whole truth, what does that mean for her friends?
Working through this dilemma is part of her recovery because lying, hiding, hanging out with people who aren't good for her are all behaviors associated with her drinking.
Books about people in recovery can be hard to read. Addiction makes people choose the wrong thing, and Marcelle does that before she chooses the right thing. Therapy and group can seem dull or even frustrating. However, the ending of her story was satisfying to me because she grew and made the positive steps she needed to make. I felt she was on a good track by the end.
The mystery is that Marcelle’s friend Hannah is missing, and Marcelle was the last person to hear from her. What happened? What should she do? And if she tells the truth, the whole truth, what does that mean for her friends?
Working through this dilemma is part of her recovery because lying, hiding, hanging out with people who aren't good for her are all behaviors associated with her drinking.
Books about people in recovery can be hard to read. Addiction makes people choose the wrong thing, and Marcelle does that before she chooses the right thing. Therapy and group can seem dull or even frustrating. However, the ending of her story was satisfying to me because she grew and made the positive steps she needed to make. I felt she was on a good track by the end.
April 24, 2019
Giving THE FIRST TRUE THING a particular number of stars is difficult because 90% of the important components of a good story are present, characters, plot, writing, storytelling. The other 10%, the treatment program is the stuff of melodrama, which, in my opinion, doesn’t belong in a YA book about substance abuse recovery.
The entire time I was reading THE FIRST TRUE THING, the mandated group treatment, purported to be one of the best in the country, was more LORD OF THE FLIES than licensed treatment center. I was glad when, near the end of the book, a lawyer referenced the Golding novel in comparison to the center. Claire Needell could have just as easily shown a professionally run, competent program. Instead she chose a group lead by teenagers who were a few months sober as “one of the best in the country”. As a psychologist, I’m biased that teen books ought to be accurate representations of mental health and treatment. There’s no reason not to be. A Goodreads reviewer gave THE FIRST TRUE THING one star because of the program, which I feel was justified.
But, but Needell also did so many things right. Marcelle is a great character. She’s an addict and a liar. None of the adults, particularly her parents, make telling the truth easy. The consequences of lying, worse than punishment, were he parents’ deep and unending disappointment. How does a teen tell her parents that her missing friend posed naked for a webcam to feed her coke habit when she knows disappointment lingers behind the admission? Marcelle is in way too deep, as is any addict. The treatment program runs in shame and humiliation, waiting for kids to fail rather than succeed. Needell could have shown a strict program run by adults that wasn’t LORD OF THE FLIES. She could have written a legitimate, yet ineffective center.
I enjoyed reading THE FIRST TRUE THING, except when I was distracted by my frustration at the treatment program. I loved watching Marcella’s growth and wondering Hannah’s fate. I did not see the ending coming, another plus.
The entire time I was reading THE FIRST TRUE THING, the mandated group treatment, purported to be one of the best in the country, was more LORD OF THE FLIES than licensed treatment center. I was glad when, near the end of the book, a lawyer referenced the Golding novel in comparison to the center. Claire Needell could have just as easily shown a professionally run, competent program. Instead she chose a group lead by teenagers who were a few months sober as “one of the best in the country”. As a psychologist, I’m biased that teen books ought to be accurate representations of mental health and treatment. There’s no reason not to be. A Goodreads reviewer gave THE FIRST TRUE THING one star because of the program, which I feel was justified.
But, but Needell also did so many things right. Marcelle is a great character. She’s an addict and a liar. None of the adults, particularly her parents, make telling the truth easy. The consequences of lying, worse than punishment, were he parents’ deep and unending disappointment. How does a teen tell her parents that her missing friend posed naked for a webcam to feed her coke habit when she knows disappointment lingers behind the admission? Marcelle is in way too deep, as is any addict. The treatment program runs in shame and humiliation, waiting for kids to fail rather than succeed. Needell could have shown a strict program run by adults that wasn’t LORD OF THE FLIES. She could have written a legitimate, yet ineffective center.
I enjoyed reading THE FIRST TRUE THING, except when I was distracted by my frustration at the treatment program. I loved watching Marcella’s growth and wondering Hannah’s fate. I did not see the ending coming, another plus.
May 2, 2019
Extending my deepest gratitude to Edelweiss and HarperTeen for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review. However, this does not affect any opinions or feedback stated concerning the book whatsoever.
TW: Profanity, Alcohol and Drug Dependency, Mentions of Child Sexual Abuse
If I were to rate this book, I would give it exactly 3.25 stars. At first, I was having trouble connecting with the characters in the story because my adolescent experiences were a lot different than theirs. This book deals with such heavy topics my heart, at some point, could not handle them all. Everything felt wild and crazy and there were these substances involved that made me feel uncomfortable all throughout. There were instances when the narrator was like justifying her excessive use of a particular substance to the point that one would think doing it actually helps a person forget mistakes and live through difficult times. Also, to think that most of the characters under these heavy influences are teenagers revolts the hell out of me. Although it is somehow raw and realistic, the thought of adolescents under some kind of a baleful spell ceaselessly pulling them out of their sanity creeps me out. Every time I encounter some scenes involving acts that threaten to harm the delicate minds and bodies in fine fettle, they never failed to make me shudder.
I’ve always thought of regrets like clouds that line your mind. Regrets are like weather, always there. Even on a clear day, there’s something on the horizon, some smudge of gray.
It's amazing how the world can go on around you, when in your own mind you know nothing can ever be the same.
And so the story begins with Marcelle Cousins, having decided to cover for her best friend Hannah from her mom, Elise Scott and boyfriend, Robert Senna. Marcelle thought it was best not to interfere with Hannah's outside affairs since it would not do her good especially after her neighbour Michiko caught her in a bike accident near Michiko's driveway under the heavy influence of alcohol that got her parents to send her to an after-school rehab. Most of the parts in the story revolved around the Group sessions at the Center, in which peer therapy is being promoted. Two leaders in the Group, James and Cyndi, who were given the privilege of the position because of their long-term sobriety and completion of passing through all phases of the Center program (from intake down to being sober for the longest period of time), implemented their authority through sharing of what they think their peers should be doing and start acting on for their times of being sober and criticising every slip of deviant behaviours on the part of their peers, to the point that it does nothing but make the whole group seem like robots where everyone has no choice but to nod and agree and all the more discourages them to fully commit to the purpose of healing themselves.
It isn’t true that you can change your life by walking through the doors of some lame brick building in the middle of town. But I can’t speak. And anyway, according to Kevin, I’m not a real person yet. I still have an addict brain. I am a subhuman, an unreasonable beast, a worthless sort of being incapable of human connection. If that’s true of us all, how does any addict get better?
I am good, deep down, and that what I want is simple, something anyone could understand.
The other side of the story centers around the sudden disappearance of Hannah Scott, wherein the trail started from the text Marcelle received from her. Flashbacks from Marcelle's viewpoint were laid out to understand how Hannah got involved with some dangerous schemes that led to her loss. While the police were investigating Hannah's case, Marcelle had some realisations about how she acted when Hannah was around. At one point, she felt guilty for acting like her opinions did not matter in her social group, which includes Hannah. In the end, everything was explained and the mystery was solved, with Marcelle finding her own voice in the process.
But having good judgment means making the right choices in the moment, not after.
Now, everyone who had read this book could say most of the characters here were flawed but they learned from their mistakes. This book has shown that teenagers these days tend to be lost when it comes to the path they have chosen to go to. It is like they have stepped on a large quicksand, slowly falling into the trap they have set upon themselves and while they think all seems lost and hopeless, that is when someone or some people in their lives pull them up again and alter the way they think about themselves, fight through their fears and live once again, free from any misguided and delusional thinking. One character I disliked most is Alex, a cocaine dealer who put Hannah into this webcam business as his way of earning quick money. He was so spiteful even though he was not given more exposure in the book. Everything he did, no matter how illegal and downright disgusting they were, he did for his own selfish benefit.
There are people like that, people who can read you, and don't care how they use what they know.
Another thing that I found irritating is this therapist Kevin, who manages the Center Marcelle was being treated in. He had given full responsibility to James and Cyndi, who are also the same age as everyone in the Group, to take charge of all the activities and supervise the progress that goes on in the Group. It is like bestowing the power of authority over these two teenagers and letting them decide what to do with the Group when they themselves are still also healing and most important of all, not qualified to be in that position to make critical decisions when needed.
They say they want to know my story. They say it's a safe space. But I've noticed it's often in the most frightening places that people insist you feel safe.
Marcelle also has a daily routine. She starts off the day going to school, then to the Center, followed by Michiko's place to which she swore she would help feeding the pets and then goes back home to deal with the Hannah case. In the book, there is this passage that says the Center has the best rehab treatment there is in their county and was actually recommended by the family doctor, Dr. Hagan. But then, the place turned out to be the complete opposite and instead has the most incompetent therapist the world has ever known. Judging by the way Kevin did his talk with his patients made me think he was not at all effective and capable to help with the treatment process. He even had a conversation with some parents in which he tried to act as if he was an all-knowing therapist who did everything right, with some usage of obscene language. It was so unprofessional. The Center put pressure on its members under treatment. Everything should be according to the Center's rules and in lieu of hearing out the members' voices and concerns, the Group leaders made it impossible for them to decide what to do in order to help themselves on their own because they were forced to do this and that.
This isn't therapy where you say what's on your mind. This is therapy where you do what you're told.
However, if I could say something good about this book, it would be about how the writing is very impactful, rigorous, insightful, honest and unflinching. It does not stray from the true message it wants to deliver, how some of us sometimes gives in to drug or alcohol abuse, lets our lives get complicated and controlled in tight little strings and eventually comes around wondering how we let these things get the better of us. The satisfaction we long to have upon getting addicted to anything harmful is just temporary and, no doubt, will stay as is. It does not do us any good and that is what this book palpably illustrates. I applaud Ms. Needell for this unapologetic take on drug and alcohol dependence and how it starts with a simple taste and ends with lives hanging in the balance. In the long run, these kinds of addiction take one in a tight spot where every little thing seems unclear in a way that they mess with one's head and cloud one's judgment to certain areas in one's life.
Andy knows I have every reason to be scared, and so does he; it’s why he insists I shouldn’t be—people always feel the need to say the useless things twice.
But I don’t think any of us deserves to be here in the first place, not until we do something decent with our lives, even if that one decent thing is accepting who we are.
The story successfully depicted how teenagers nowadays clearly are in need of more guidance from parents, healthy upbringing from the ways adults deal with their children and effective and comfortable interactions to make these children be more open and honest to share what they feel and experience daily with their parents. Overall, this is a story about guilt, holding secrets and putting oneself at risk in the process, peer pressure, finding comfort in one another, unhealthy ways of treating serious personal issues of peers, grief, healing, self-preservation, self-discovery, feelings of inferiority, pulling oneself from the deep chasm of heavy darkness and to what lengths one would undergo just to meet one's satisfactions.
That’s the way it is with rules, I think. You have them so you don’t get confused about how you’re supposed to act. But then the rules are the first things everyone forgets.
I hope I’m brave enough to say no when that’s what needs to be said. I hope I can see clearly next time. I hope I can make myself heard. I hope I’m never again the person who does nothing but watch. I hope that Marcelle is dead.
TW: Profanity, Alcohol and Drug Dependency, Mentions of Child Sexual Abuse
If I were to rate this book, I would give it exactly 3.25 stars. At first, I was having trouble connecting with the characters in the story because my adolescent experiences were a lot different than theirs. This book deals with such heavy topics my heart, at some point, could not handle them all. Everything felt wild and crazy and there were these substances involved that made me feel uncomfortable all throughout. There were instances when the narrator was like justifying her excessive use of a particular substance to the point that one would think doing it actually helps a person forget mistakes and live through difficult times. Also, to think that most of the characters under these heavy influences are teenagers revolts the hell out of me. Although it is somehow raw and realistic, the thought of adolescents under some kind of a baleful spell ceaselessly pulling them out of their sanity creeps me out. Every time I encounter some scenes involving acts that threaten to harm the delicate minds and bodies in fine fettle, they never failed to make me shudder.
I’ve always thought of regrets like clouds that line your mind. Regrets are like weather, always there. Even on a clear day, there’s something on the horizon, some smudge of gray.
It's amazing how the world can go on around you, when in your own mind you know nothing can ever be the same.
And so the story begins with Marcelle Cousins, having decided to cover for her best friend Hannah from her mom, Elise Scott and boyfriend, Robert Senna. Marcelle thought it was best not to interfere with Hannah's outside affairs since it would not do her good especially after her neighbour Michiko caught her in a bike accident near Michiko's driveway under the heavy influence of alcohol that got her parents to send her to an after-school rehab. Most of the parts in the story revolved around the Group sessions at the Center, in which peer therapy is being promoted. Two leaders in the Group, James and Cyndi, who were given the privilege of the position because of their long-term sobriety and completion of passing through all phases of the Center program (from intake down to being sober for the longest period of time), implemented their authority through sharing of what they think their peers should be doing and start acting on for their times of being sober and criticising every slip of deviant behaviours on the part of their peers, to the point that it does nothing but make the whole group seem like robots where everyone has no choice but to nod and agree and all the more discourages them to fully commit to the purpose of healing themselves.
It isn’t true that you can change your life by walking through the doors of some lame brick building in the middle of town. But I can’t speak. And anyway, according to Kevin, I’m not a real person yet. I still have an addict brain. I am a subhuman, an unreasonable beast, a worthless sort of being incapable of human connection. If that’s true of us all, how does any addict get better?
I am good, deep down, and that what I want is simple, something anyone could understand.
The other side of the story centers around the sudden disappearance of Hannah Scott, wherein the trail started from the text Marcelle received from her. Flashbacks from Marcelle's viewpoint were laid out to understand how Hannah got involved with some dangerous schemes that led to her loss. While the police were investigating Hannah's case, Marcelle had some realisations about how she acted when Hannah was around. At one point, she felt guilty for acting like her opinions did not matter in her social group, which includes Hannah. In the end, everything was explained and the mystery was solved, with Marcelle finding her own voice in the process.
But having good judgment means making the right choices in the moment, not after.
Now, everyone who had read this book could say most of the characters here were flawed but they learned from their mistakes. This book has shown that teenagers these days tend to be lost when it comes to the path they have chosen to go to. It is like they have stepped on a large quicksand, slowly falling into the trap they have set upon themselves and while they think all seems lost and hopeless, that is when someone or some people in their lives pull them up again and alter the way they think about themselves, fight through their fears and live once again, free from any misguided and delusional thinking. One character I disliked most is Alex, a cocaine dealer who put Hannah into this webcam business as his way of earning quick money. He was so spiteful even though he was not given more exposure in the book. Everything he did, no matter how illegal and downright disgusting they were, he did for his own selfish benefit.
There are people like that, people who can read you, and don't care how they use what they know.
Another thing that I found irritating is this therapist Kevin, who manages the Center Marcelle was being treated in. He had given full responsibility to James and Cyndi, who are also the same age as everyone in the Group, to take charge of all the activities and supervise the progress that goes on in the Group. It is like bestowing the power of authority over these two teenagers and letting them decide what to do with the Group when they themselves are still also healing and most important of all, not qualified to be in that position to make critical decisions when needed.
They say they want to know my story. They say it's a safe space. But I've noticed it's often in the most frightening places that people insist you feel safe.
Marcelle also has a daily routine. She starts off the day going to school, then to the Center, followed by Michiko's place to which she swore she would help feeding the pets and then goes back home to deal with the Hannah case. In the book, there is this passage that says the Center has the best rehab treatment there is in their county and was actually recommended by the family doctor, Dr. Hagan. But then, the place turned out to be the complete opposite and instead has the most incompetent therapist the world has ever known. Judging by the way Kevin did his talk with his patients made me think he was not at all effective and capable to help with the treatment process. He even had a conversation with some parents in which he tried to act as if he was an all-knowing therapist who did everything right, with some usage of obscene language. It was so unprofessional. The Center put pressure on its members under treatment. Everything should be according to the Center's rules and in lieu of hearing out the members' voices and concerns, the Group leaders made it impossible for them to decide what to do in order to help themselves on their own because they were forced to do this and that.
This isn't therapy where you say what's on your mind. This is therapy where you do what you're told.
However, if I could say something good about this book, it would be about how the writing is very impactful, rigorous, insightful, honest and unflinching. It does not stray from the true message it wants to deliver, how some of us sometimes gives in to drug or alcohol abuse, lets our lives get complicated and controlled in tight little strings and eventually comes around wondering how we let these things get the better of us. The satisfaction we long to have upon getting addicted to anything harmful is just temporary and, no doubt, will stay as is. It does not do us any good and that is what this book palpably illustrates. I applaud Ms. Needell for this unapologetic take on drug and alcohol dependence and how it starts with a simple taste and ends with lives hanging in the balance. In the long run, these kinds of addiction take one in a tight spot where every little thing seems unclear in a way that they mess with one's head and cloud one's judgment to certain areas in one's life.
Andy knows I have every reason to be scared, and so does he; it’s why he insists I shouldn’t be—people always feel the need to say the useless things twice.
But I don’t think any of us deserves to be here in the first place, not until we do something decent with our lives, even if that one decent thing is accepting who we are.
The story successfully depicted how teenagers nowadays clearly are in need of more guidance from parents, healthy upbringing from the ways adults deal with their children and effective and comfortable interactions to make these children be more open and honest to share what they feel and experience daily with their parents. Overall, this is a story about guilt, holding secrets and putting oneself at risk in the process, peer pressure, finding comfort in one another, unhealthy ways of treating serious personal issues of peers, grief, healing, self-preservation, self-discovery, feelings of inferiority, pulling oneself from the deep chasm of heavy darkness and to what lengths one would undergo just to meet one's satisfactions.
That’s the way it is with rules, I think. You have them so you don’t get confused about how you’re supposed to act. But then the rules are the first things everyone forgets.
I hope I’m brave enough to say no when that’s what needs to be said. I hope I can see clearly next time. I hope I can make myself heard. I hope I’m never again the person who does nothing but watch. I hope that Marcelle is dead.
April 15, 2019
Warnings: sexual assault, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, drug overdose, fatmisia, animal death (off-page), suicide attempt
Rep: addiction rep
The story of The First True Thing, at its core, is about a girl who has to overcome peer pressure to do the right thing. Marcelle is in recovery after an accident when she got drunk and nearly died; now she is the last person who her friend Hannah had texted before disappearing. Marcelle, while still only a couple of week sober, and in a therapy program that stresses her out, is also worried about Hannah and conflicted as to whether it would be better to stay silent or to speak up.
There are two major things going on in Marcelle's life: her recovery and her friend's disappearance. While technically this is not a mystery, Hannah being missing has a lot to do with how Marcelle is coping. Her therapy people say that Hannah is inconsequential to her mistakes and her recovery, but as we get to know Marcelle, we see how much of her friendships and her life was about them engaging in drug and alcohol abuse. So much so that helping efforts to search Hannah could destroy her life, as well as those of everyone in her friends circle; this constant struggle in her mind plagues Marcelle throughout most of the book. I mean, yes, the simplest thing was that Marcelle should have told what she knew, consequences be damned, but the crux of this book was that why that wasn't so simple.
One thing that the book tried to do, and I feel didn't end up doing it well was linking the process of Marcelle's therapy to the past regarding Hannah. Marcelle finds her group therapy a different version of the same nonsense in her friends group - the posturing, the mind games, the apparent hierarchy. It wasn't until the end that someone was like - this peer group therapy sounds like an extremely bad idea. Some of the language used within the group itself was terrible, and there were times like - they shouldn't be talking to any recovering addict like that! - and I dunno if that is the norm or whether there was a need for me to give content warning, so I thought better to include that here instead of above. The ending was unexpected, not in the mystery itself (because I guessed that within the first quarter of the book itself), but how it came out.
Overall, a good exploration of the problems of addiction in teens and how it presents different challenges.
Received an advance reader copy in exchange for a fair review from HarperTeen, via Edelweiss.
Rep: addiction rep
The story of The First True Thing, at its core, is about a girl who has to overcome peer pressure to do the right thing. Marcelle is in recovery after an accident when she got drunk and nearly died; now she is the last person who her friend Hannah had texted before disappearing. Marcelle, while still only a couple of week sober, and in a therapy program that stresses her out, is also worried about Hannah and conflicted as to whether it would be better to stay silent or to speak up.
There are two major things going on in Marcelle's life: her recovery and her friend's disappearance. While technically this is not a mystery, Hannah being missing has a lot to do with how Marcelle is coping. Her therapy people say that Hannah is inconsequential to her mistakes and her recovery, but as we get to know Marcelle, we see how much of her friendships and her life was about them engaging in drug and alcohol abuse. So much so that helping efforts to search Hannah could destroy her life, as well as those of everyone in her friends circle; this constant struggle in her mind plagues Marcelle throughout most of the book. I mean, yes, the simplest thing was that Marcelle should have told what she knew, consequences be damned, but the crux of this book was that why that wasn't so simple.
One thing that the book tried to do, and I feel didn't end up doing it well was linking the process of Marcelle's therapy to the past regarding Hannah. Marcelle finds her group therapy a different version of the same nonsense in her friends group - the posturing, the mind games, the apparent hierarchy. It wasn't until the end that someone was like - this peer group therapy sounds like an extremely bad idea. Some of the language used within the group itself was terrible, and there were times like - they shouldn't be talking to any recovering addict like that! - and I dunno if that is the norm or whether there was a need for me to give content warning, so I thought better to include that here instead of above. The ending was unexpected, not in the mystery itself (because I guessed that within the first quarter of the book itself), but how it came out.
Overall, a good exploration of the problems of addiction in teens and how it presents different challenges.
Received an advance reader copy in exchange for a fair review from HarperTeen, via Edelweiss.
February 11, 2020
To be fair, the two stars is being generous. I saw this book prior to its publication and I thought the premise sounded promising. Then, when I realized it was featured on one of the MANY YA book lists (I think it might have been "20 compelling YA books we couldn't look away from"-or at least something along those lines), I figured I'd give it a shot.
That was a mistake.
This book was NOT worth my time. It is not a compelling mystery nor is it an interesting or enlightening look at substance abuse and recovery. The character development was lacking, the story line/plot was insubstantial, and all it made you want to do was just get to the end. There were about 7 interesting pages about 90%. That's it. That's all I have to recommend this for.
This is a skip. Don't waste your time or your budget on this one. YA readers will have much better luck (and a better experience) with any of the other mysteries currently out there.
That was a mistake.
This book was NOT worth my time. It is not a compelling mystery nor is it an interesting or enlightening look at substance abuse and recovery. The character development was lacking, the story line/plot was insubstantial, and all it made you want to do was just get to the end. There were about 7 interesting pages about 90%. That's it. That's all I have to recommend this for.
This is a skip. Don't waste your time or your budget on this one. YA readers will have much better luck (and a better experience) with any of the other mysteries currently out there.
May 5, 2019
*warning RANT REVIEW*
This was one of my highly anticipated reads of the year, so you can imagine my disappointment.
This book made me ANGRY.
I was ANGRY at the so called “parents” who the author had the nerve to give them that title.
I was ANGRY at the representation of addiction in this novel. Mind you, I haven’t had an addiction, but I know that this wasn’t the right way to go.
I was ANGRY at the so called “physiatrist” who was the rudest, most not understanding human being. I think he even called Marcelle’s goals a piece of “bullsh*t.” Excuse me? Is that anyway to talk to your patient in recovery?
I was ANGRY at the group leaders who seemed to not care about anyone else’s sobriety but their own. And told the MC straight up “I cannot believe you, Marcelle” when she was trying in the group.
I was ANGRY at a lot of things in this 241 pages.
Please don’t waste your time. Just don’t.
This was one of my highly anticipated reads of the year, so you can imagine my disappointment.
This book made me ANGRY.
I was ANGRY at the so called “parents” who the author had the nerve to give them that title.
I was ANGRY at the representation of addiction in this novel. Mind you, I haven’t had an addiction, but I know that this wasn’t the right way to go.
I was ANGRY at the so called “physiatrist” who was the rudest, most not understanding human being. I think he even called Marcelle’s goals a piece of “bullsh*t.” Excuse me? Is that anyway to talk to your patient in recovery?
I was ANGRY at the group leaders who seemed to not care about anyone else’s sobriety but their own. And told the MC straight up “I cannot believe you, Marcelle” when she was trying in the group.
I was ANGRY at a lot of things in this 241 pages.
Please don’t waste your time. Just don’t.
April 23, 2019
There are plenty of content warnings for this one, but I’d like to specifically mention a CW for fatphobia. I wasn’t expecting it, and there are incidents a solid 4-6 times (at one point I had to start skimming to the end). This is also one of the most concerning depictions of health professionals I’ve ever seen, and I really hope teens reading this understand that there are actually decent rehabilitation centers and don’t get scared off from seeking help because of this book. The problems with the Center are not made nearly clear enough.
July 28, 2018
Not only is this a book about a teen coming to terms with the consequences of alcohol and drug abuse, it is a novel with a less than forthcoming narrator. This makes for an intriguing read. The reader doesn't quite know what to believe - as Marcelle slowly reveals the truths about her past.
November 18, 2018
An excellent YA book that deals honestly with difficult issues and makes the reader feel the immediacy of Marcelle's many pressures and need to make tough choices. It deals frankly with the pain of substance abuse, peer pressure, and finding one's own voice. As a parent, it brought home to me how much high school students, while still needing love and guidance from their parents, are really in their own world. Adding drugs, alcohol, and other criminal behavior to an already fraught time in any teen's development highlighted how hard and scary it would be to navigate through circumstances like Marcelle's. I felt deeply for her. Great read!
June 2, 2019
I am rating this 3.15 stars. I got pretty frustrated throughout this whole book, I didn’t care for the Group which Marcelle had to go to. I didn’t care for her shitty parents who can’t comprehend that people make mistakes. I didn’t like basically any of Marcelle’s “friends” besides Andy. I didn’t quite care what happened to Hannah, but of course I cared enough to finish this and find out.
Let’s start off with Marcelle who I did like as a character and felt angry for her because everyone acted like she was this horrible failure, when she made one mistake, which compared to her so-called friends was nothing. Every time there was a scene involving her parents I wanted to scream with rage because they were horrible. They kept telling Marcelle how awful her mistake was and that she will be an alcoholic the rest of her life, and nothing she does is ever right. Like geez, no wonder she wanted to escape from her reality.
Next, let’s talk about this so-called Group that Marcelle is forced to go to as part of cleaning up her act. Was it really a group because the counselor didn’t give two shits about her, even as she is breaking down and crying for help? The whole confidentiality that no matter what you say or hear won’t leave the group, even if what you hear is illegal or dangerous?? Like what is that?? I just felt like the Group honestly made Marcelle stressed and want to drink more. Also, I was furious that at one point someone confessed to the group that they cheated on being clean and smoked weed with friends and was asked to leave the group. That is ridiculous to me, they confided in everyone there and are clearly asking for forgiveness and help, so the response is to kick them to the curb when they are at their lowest? I didn’t understand anything about this Group rehab place, and how it was helping anyone with their addictions to begin with.
Also, Marcelle’s friends? They are the absolute worst. They are all doing cocaine and worse shit, but yet she is the bad guy because she is trying to better herself. She is the only one who is decent enough to care about where Hannah went and wants to tell people the truth, but her lame friends tell her over and over again how horrible she is and that she can’t ever rat them out and even Hannah wouldn’t want her to. Just made me so angry how everyone saw Marcelle as the bad guy, when everyone else was far, far worse.
The ending did catch me by surprise, finding out the whole story of Hannah, but somehow, I was still disappointed with how everything turned out. I think this had the potential to be a great read that dealt with difficult issues such as: addiction, suicide, peer pressure, and tough choices, but it fell short for me.
Let’s start off with Marcelle who I did like as a character and felt angry for her because everyone acted like she was this horrible failure, when she made one mistake, which compared to her so-called friends was nothing. Every time there was a scene involving her parents I wanted to scream with rage because they were horrible. They kept telling Marcelle how awful her mistake was and that she will be an alcoholic the rest of her life, and nothing she does is ever right. Like geez, no wonder she wanted to escape from her reality.
Next, let’s talk about this so-called Group that Marcelle is forced to go to as part of cleaning up her act. Was it really a group because the counselor didn’t give two shits about her, even as she is breaking down and crying for help? The whole confidentiality that no matter what you say or hear won’t leave the group, even if what you hear is illegal or dangerous?? Like what is that?? I just felt like the Group honestly made Marcelle stressed and want to drink more. Also, I was furious that at one point someone confessed to the group that they cheated on being clean and smoked weed with friends and was asked to leave the group. That is ridiculous to me, they confided in everyone there and are clearly asking for forgiveness and help, so the response is to kick them to the curb when they are at their lowest? I didn’t understand anything about this Group rehab place, and how it was helping anyone with their addictions to begin with.
Also, Marcelle’s friends? They are the absolute worst. They are all doing cocaine and worse shit, but yet she is the bad guy because she is trying to better herself. She is the only one who is decent enough to care about where Hannah went and wants to tell people the truth, but her lame friends tell her over and over again how horrible she is and that she can’t ever rat them out and even Hannah wouldn’t want her to. Just made me so angry how everyone saw Marcelle as the bad guy, when everyone else was far, far worse.
The ending did catch me by surprise, finding out the whole story of Hannah, but somehow, I was still disappointed with how everything turned out. I think this had the potential to be a great read that dealt with difficult issues such as: addiction, suicide, peer pressure, and tough choices, but it fell short for me.
May 28, 2019
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Review:
Marcelle’s best friend, Hannah, asked Marcelle to cover for her. The next day, Hannah is missing, and Marcelle doesn’t know what to do.
Marcelle has been sober for just a couple of weeks, after drunkenly crashing her bike, ending up in the hospital, and being mandated to attend treatment at the Center. As part of her recovery process, she promised her parents she wouldn’t lie to them anymore – so now she feels like she can’t come clean about Hannah’s text that night. But the longer she goes without hearing from Hannah, the harder it’s getting to maintain the delicately balanced statements she made.
The First True Thing is told partially as a narrative of current events, and partially in flashbacks of Marcelle’s drinking days. This is a really heavy book, dealing with serious issues like drug and alcohol addiction, sexual exploitation, and death. It’s definitely not for younger teens, but it tells an important story. People who are in recovery might find some of the scenes triggering, so read with caution.
Favorite Passage:
More than anything, I wish Hannah and I both could go back in time. But I know it’s useless to think this way. I am the girl who crashed on the Death Wish path. I can’t be any other girl.
— Chapter Fifteen
What I Loved Most:
Needell’s portrayal of addiction and recovery is raw and real. She doesn’t shy away from addressing how addiction can comprise someone’s identity, and how stopping addictive behavior often means removing the major thing that you identify yourself with. I am of the opinion that getting sober is one of the bravest things you can do. We’re starting to see more books being published for teens that address mental health issues like addiction, which I feel is crucial for helping teens identify these issues in their own lives or the lives of those around them.
Read this book if you like:
Suspense, identity searching, gut-wrenching honesty
Review:
Marcelle’s best friend, Hannah, asked Marcelle to cover for her. The next day, Hannah is missing, and Marcelle doesn’t know what to do.
Marcelle has been sober for just a couple of weeks, after drunkenly crashing her bike, ending up in the hospital, and being mandated to attend treatment at the Center. As part of her recovery process, she promised her parents she wouldn’t lie to them anymore – so now she feels like she can’t come clean about Hannah’s text that night. But the longer she goes without hearing from Hannah, the harder it’s getting to maintain the delicately balanced statements she made.
The First True Thing is told partially as a narrative of current events, and partially in flashbacks of Marcelle’s drinking days. This is a really heavy book, dealing with serious issues like drug and alcohol addiction, sexual exploitation, and death. It’s definitely not for younger teens, but it tells an important story. People who are in recovery might find some of the scenes triggering, so read with caution.
Favorite Passage:
More than anything, I wish Hannah and I both could go back in time. But I know it’s useless to think this way. I am the girl who crashed on the Death Wish path. I can’t be any other girl.
— Chapter Fifteen
What I Loved Most:
Needell’s portrayal of addiction and recovery is raw and real. She doesn’t shy away from addressing how addiction can comprise someone’s identity, and how stopping addictive behavior often means removing the major thing that you identify yourself with. I am of the opinion that getting sober is one of the bravest things you can do. We’re starting to see more books being published for teens that address mental health issues like addiction, which I feel is crucial for helping teens identify these issues in their own lives or the lives of those around them.
Read this book if you like:
Suspense, identity searching, gut-wrenching honesty
June 19, 2019
Marcelle’s parents discovered her drinking problem when she crashed her bike and wound up in the hospital. Her doctor recommends treatment at the Center, and Marcelle becomes a member of the Peer Support Group for New Living. Group is not the kumbayah situation that Marcelle had expected, and her peers in the Group seem to think bullying is the path to sobriety. Marcelle has been sober for two weeks when she gets a text from her best friend Hannah asking Marcelle to cover for her - “Told Mom I’m w/ you. Senna too.” Marcelle doesn’t feel great about lying to Hannah’s mom and boyfriend, but old habits die hard. When Hannah doesn’t show up for school the next day and won’t respond to texts, Marcelle starts to worry. Hannah’s drug of choice was cocaine, and she had been getting involved with some less than savory types to keep herself supplied. Marcelle must decide whether she should come clean about what Hannah’s been up to or continue keeping her dangerous secrets.
The First True Thing is a character-driven novel of recovery from addiction with an engaging plot that created enough suspense to keep me turning the pages. The book opens with Marcelle receiving Hannah’s text and then flashes back to the time leading up to the accident that landed Marcelle in the hospital. Marcelle is not always likable but she is realistic, and she is trying to her best under the circumstances. She is understandably conflicted about coming cleaning about Hannah’s drug use and other illegal activities. If Hannah is really in danger should tell, but if Marcelle narcs, Hannah and many other friends will be in a lot of trouble. Marcelle’s experience in Group is the other main thread of the plot. Group is made up of all teens with no adult sitting in on the sessions. The techniques employed by the Center seem irresponsible but not totally out of the realm of possibility. I enjoyed Marcelle’s relationship with Andy and the way that it grew in changed throughout her recovery. The ending was unexpected but satisfying. Recommended for readers who like contemporary YA with a dark (but not bleak) tone.
Genre: Realistic
Grades: 9-12
Characterization: Good
Literary Merit: Good
Recommended
August 2, 2019
Marcelle is in after school rehab after a drunken bike accident that leaves a scar on her chin and her drinking problem is outed to her parents. She’s been attending the Center after school for a couple of weeks when she gets from her friend, Hannah, asking her to cover for her. Marcelle is immediately uncomfortable with this idea but does it anyway. Then Hannah goes missing and no one knows where to find her. Hannah was in some deep stuff; drugs and online sex work so Marcelle knows it could be any of those things gone wrong. She keeps her promise to cover even when Hannah does come home that night and misses a big audition the next day. Anything Marcelle confesses will immediately also implicate her friends and she doesn’t want to make enemies. But what if what Marcelle knows can save Hannah-if it’s not already too late.
This was one of those books that didn’t get good for me until the last handful of pages... I didn’t connect with the characters. I felt worried for Hannah but didn’t really *know* her minus the negative things she surrounded herself with. Marcelle is a really unlikeable character. I think I actually liked Andy best. The treatment center program isn’t realistic to me- peers cannot run groups completely unsupported by adults; I think it’s too much baggage for teens to collaboratively deal with together.
This was one of those books that didn’t get good for me until the last handful of pages... I didn’t connect with the characters. I felt worried for Hannah but didn’t really *know* her minus the negative things she surrounded herself with. Marcelle is a really unlikeable character. I think I actually liked Andy best. The treatment center program isn’t realistic to me- peers cannot run groups completely unsupported by adults; I think it’s too much baggage for teens to collaboratively deal with together.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 5, 2019
Ho-ly shit.
I always love it when I find gems in any genre, especially YA, but this book did something astounding by a LOT of genre's standards: It ACTUALLY CRITICIZED 12-Step abstinence-only alcohol rehab programs.
They actually talked about the cult-like aspects of it. (I am not, myself, an alcoholic- but I know people who are/have recovered, and they've got some real 12-step horror stories, let me tell you.)
They actually address the fact that some of the people who run these programs are ideologues who treat alcoholism like it's the devil that needs to be beaten out of you (I wanted to beat Kevin with a fucking spiked bat. How even fucking dare you speak to a child the way he did on pages 96-98. I don't care if Marci's an alcoholic or abuses alcohol or whatever, that was just so utterly sociopathic and he shouldn't be in charge of a house plant, never mind a child.)
It is so damn rare to hear anyone challenging these programs and their conduct (the author's note at the end straight-up says "the science says these programs are not the be-all end-all of alcohol recovery), and a YA book did it? I'm sold, friendo. I am SOLD.
I always love it when I find gems in any genre, especially YA, but this book did something astounding by a LOT of genre's standards: It ACTUALLY CRITICIZED 12-Step abstinence-only alcohol rehab programs.
They actually talked about the cult-like aspects of it. (I am not, myself, an alcoholic- but I know people who are/have recovered, and they've got some real 12-step horror stories, let me tell you.)
They actually address the fact that some of the people who run these programs are ideologues who treat alcoholism like it's the devil that needs to be beaten out of you (I wanted to beat Kevin with a fucking spiked bat. How even fucking dare you speak to a child the way he did on pages 96-98. I don't care if Marci's an alcoholic or abuses alcohol or whatever, that was just so utterly sociopathic and he shouldn't be in charge of a house plant, never mind a child.)
It is so damn rare to hear anyone challenging these programs and their conduct (the author's note at the end straight-up says "the science says these programs are not the be-all end-all of alcohol recovery), and a YA book did it? I'm sold, friendo. I am SOLD.
February 15, 2022
⭐️4.4/5⭐️
I wouldn’t say this was the best “thriller/suspense” novel, but it did its job of holding my attention. Needell got the idea of suspense down, but maybe needs to work on the heart-pounding side of suspense. I wish there would have been more.
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Now, down to the story.
I did not like the Group. Nothing about that Group made me think it was beneficial to anyone involved with the Group. It seemed like a “let’s talk about all of our deepest secrets even if they are crimes so we can get off on it, but not tell the police” Group. That’s a no from me. Not helpful one bit.
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An addicted teen, that’s something that needs to be talked about more. It’s so “normal” in society to have teens having addictions yet we don’t talk it about, and this is a prime example of what is going on around us. Her parents, I thought, were a good example of parents who actually care about their kids.
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It was a filler book for sure, but good for bargain book 👍🏼
I wouldn’t say this was the best “thriller/suspense” novel, but it did its job of holding my attention. Needell got the idea of suspense down, but maybe needs to work on the heart-pounding side of suspense. I wish there would have been more.
-
-
Now, down to the story.
I did not like the Group. Nothing about that Group made me think it was beneficial to anyone involved with the Group. It seemed like a “let’s talk about all of our deepest secrets even if they are crimes so we can get off on it, but not tell the police” Group. That’s a no from me. Not helpful one bit.
-
-
An addicted teen, that’s something that needs to be talked about more. It’s so “normal” in society to have teens having addictions yet we don’t talk it about, and this is a prime example of what is going on around us. Her parents, I thought, were a good example of parents who actually care about their kids.
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-
It was a filler book for sure, but good for bargain book 👍🏼
July 25, 2020
{3.5} I’ve decided to go with a little bit of a higher rating as I sit here after finishing reading this. It was more different than I’d thought it’d be, but I honestly like where the story went. I feel like this story could happen to some degree in real life and how fucked up everything can become. The characters at the center and her parents really angered me, which is a good sign since it invoked emotion from me. I try to step back and realize that even if I felt angry at the characters’ actions that the author has done something right to make me feel that way. I didn’t expect Chuck to have been involved with Hannah’s ”death” as I thought Alex was the one to be involved. I felt the way Marcelle felt was realistic to her situation and the growth her character received. Yeah, I’d recommend this, but for me, it was more about Marcella’s story than the mystery of Hannah’s disappearance.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 16, 2019
Thank you HarperCollins for the free arc via edelweiss. I enjoyed this story but felt at times it was a little flawed. The parents treated the bike accident like it was as serious as a DUI where someone was killed. Many of us experimented in our youth and did stupid things. It didn't mean we were alcoholics and needed rehab. However, in this case Marcel did need therapy to understand why she was drinking so much to hide her feelings. The other part I struggled with was the group therapy run by kids. This was not where Marcel needed to be. She needed a professional to deal with the why not peer pressure to stop using. The book towards the end briefly tries to explain why Marcel drinks but I feel the explanation is too short and left me not relating.
April 3, 2020
It was okay-- the kind of book that discusses the more realistic and raw elements of teen substance abuse and for this book Marcelle is an alcoholic (or alcohol use disorder) as mentioned in the back who is dealing with her impending sobriety by attending a group session under the direction of some pretty interesting counselors and meeting interesting people in the mix.
Meanwhile the inconsistency of Marcelle's recovery leads to the mystery of the disappearance of Hannah. It's a hard-fought kind of battle between being and doing better and falling into bad habits. It will work for some but to me a book like Heroine is just a little more powerful (or even Other Broken Things).
Meanwhile the inconsistency of Marcelle's recovery leads to the mystery of the disappearance of Hannah. It's a hard-fought kind of battle between being and doing better and falling into bad habits. It will work for some but to me a book like Heroine is just a little more powerful (or even Other Broken Things).
July 15, 2019
This book has too much going on, too many flawed characters, too much tough love that was just another word for bullying and resolutions happened in less than 10 pages while the story meandered got lost took a turn at a new story forgot about the orginial story and I dont care how it ended
May 1, 2019
(I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
What would you do if your best friend asks you to cover for her? What would you do if covering for her - lying for her - means holding back facts that could help her be found when she goes missing? Answering these questions is difficult enough for a teenager trying to figure out the world. They’re made more difficult for Marcelle, who is struggling through her new found sobriety.
I struggled with how to rate this book because there were times I considered putting it down and walking away. Especially frustrating, as other reviewers have noted, was the therapy group Marcelle’s must attend. Peer run therapy may have a place in an long term, ongoing treatment plan, but for someone who is only days and weeks into sobriety, treatment should be led and supervised by a trained professional. I also struggled with Marcelle. I had to remind myself more than once that not only is she a teenager, but also a recovering addict, who was bound to make bad decisions.
My rating rests heavily on the final section of the book. Marcelle finally encounters some adults who listen to what she has to say without judgement or outward disappointment. She is given the space to tell her truth and see that there is a way forward. I think it is also important - and realistic - for her to see adults changing course and acknowledging that they don’t always get things right.
What would you do if your best friend asks you to cover for her? What would you do if covering for her - lying for her - means holding back facts that could help her be found when she goes missing? Answering these questions is difficult enough for a teenager trying to figure out the world. They’re made more difficult for Marcelle, who is struggling through her new found sobriety.
I struggled with how to rate this book because there were times I considered putting it down and walking away. Especially frustrating, as other reviewers have noted, was the therapy group Marcelle’s must attend. Peer run therapy may have a place in an long term, ongoing treatment plan, but for someone who is only days and weeks into sobriety, treatment should be led and supervised by a trained professional. I also struggled with Marcelle. I had to remind myself more than once that not only is she a teenager, but also a recovering addict, who was bound to make bad decisions.
My rating rests heavily on the final section of the book. Marcelle finally encounters some adults who listen to what she has to say without judgement or outward disappointment. She is given the space to tell her truth and see that there is a way forward. I think it is also important - and realistic - for her to see adults changing course and acknowledging that they don’t always get things right.
June 9, 2019
Very quick read. I don’t have a ton of sympathy for the main character. She comes off as selfish and shallow. I have trouble finding any of her motives as being genuinely for the good of anyone but herself.
December 2, 2018
Solid book about teen addiction and the enabling of it.
May 27, 2019
Whew. Intense and dark. But a true page turner, I couldn’t put it down.
July 8, 2019
The premise is compelling but the execution didn't deliver a convincing story for me.
January 17, 2020
Blazed through this. Emotionally honest and raw. Feels very true
September 30, 2020
Great book, I loved the characters and the mystery and it was such a great story!
January 2, 2021
I found the characters and the story itself to be quite unlikeable. As someone who found sobriety at a very young age, I was certain I would love it.. But that just wasn’t the case.
June 17, 2021
I read this book in less than a day, literally could not put it down!
February 2, 2022
I speed read it. The idea was good but was too slow paced for me.
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