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Maybe I Will
It’s not about sex.
It’s about how one secret act of violence changes everything—how best friends can desert you when you need them most, how nobody understands. It’s about the drinking and stealing and lying and wondering who you can trust. It’s about parents and teachers, police officers and counselors—all the people who are supposed to help you, but who may not even believe you.
It’s about how suddenly all of your hopes and dreams can vanish, and you can find yourself all alone, with nothing and no one. Your only choice is to end it all or to start over…and all you can think is Maybe I Will.
It’s about how one secret act of violence changes everything—how best friends can desert you when you need them most, how nobody understands. It’s about the drinking and stealing and lying and wondering who you can trust. It’s about parents and teachers, police officers and counselors—all the people who are supposed to help you, but who may not even believe you.
It’s about how suddenly all of your hopes and dreams can vanish, and you can find yourself all alone, with nothing and no one. Your only choice is to end it all or to start over…and all you can think is Maybe I Will.
197 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
7 people are currently reading
326 people want to read
About the author
Laurie Gray
9 books50 followersAn experienced trial attorney and child advocate, Laurie Gray is the founder of Socratic Parenting (www.SocraticParenting.com), co-creator of Token of Change™, and a consultant for Sophie’s Café (www.SophiesCafe.org). Laurie earned her B.A. from Goshen College and her J.D. from Indiana University Maurer School of Law. She also works as an adjunct professor of criminal sciences for Indiana Tech and a bilingual child forensic interviewer at the Dr. Bill Lewis Center for Children in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She has served on the faculty of the National Symposium on Child Abuse in Huntsville, Alabama, every spring since 2009.
Laurie is the author of three young adult novels: Summer Sanctuary (Luminis Books/ 2010), Maybe I Will (Luminis Books / 2013) and Just Myrto (Luminis Books / 2014). Her debut novel received a Moonbeam Gold Medal and was named a 2011 Indiana Best Book Finalist.
Laurie is the author of three young adult novels: Summer Sanctuary (Luminis Books/ 2010), Maybe I Will (Luminis Books / 2013) and Just Myrto (Luminis Books / 2014). Her debut novel received a Moonbeam Gold Medal and was named a 2011 Indiana Best Book Finalist.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
September 21, 2013
Review originally posted on my book blog, On Books!
I found myself thinking about this six-word paragraph I read in Anthem: "I am. I think. I will." The words were so powerful, but they kept turning into questions in my mind. I am. Who am I? I think. What do I think? I will. I will what? Maybe I will, but maybe I won't. Maybe I will, but maybe I don't. Maybe I don't will anything. Maybe it all happens regardless of my will.
In case you didn't get the drift from the above quote alone, Maybe I Will is powerful. It's intense and devastating, in part, because of the tragedy that befalls the protagonist and for the most part, because of the way it is written itself.
We do not know much about Sandy in the beginning. We do not know his(/her) gender, for instance. Sandy's parents intended to name the main character Sandy, short for Sandford or Sandra. What was it finally short for? We do not know. At the same time, we know that Sandy is a powerhouse of amazing on stage. That Sandy is a sophomore who takes high school seriously... seriously enough to think hard over his/her assignments anyway. We also know that Sandy really hits it off with a co-actor in the Peter Pan play; Shanika Washington. That Sandy loves the Bard, quotes Shakespeare in a way that is infectious and watches Hamlet for fun. That Sandy seems to have loving and caring parents and good enough friends. That Sandy is incredibly, inspiringly and realistically resilient. So. Do we know Sandy after all?
Despite not knowing Sandy's sex or sexual orientation... constructs that seem to be enough to characterise most Young Adult protagonists these days... don't we know Sandy? Irrespective of the exclusion of Sandy's gender from the story which would've probably influenced our thoughts of Sandy as either "sensitive" or "angsty" depending on whether Sandy was male or female... or as gay or straight... we know Sandy. In fact, we know more of Sandy, now that the labels have been tucked away from our line of vision.
Then, at the central point of the story comes the act of violence that you anticipate and yet barely see coming... the consequences on Sandy's esteem, health and social life shock you. Sandy is sexually assaulted... there is no other word for it... or is there? Because just like the other carefully label-excluded aspects of the story, the incident, despite being crude and aggressive and violating, is clearly not about sex.
The assault makes Sandy feel violated and vulnerable and friendless... reduced to a shell. Redefining Sandy; as he/she questions things that were once taken for granted.
Maybe I Will blew.me.away.It figuratively shattered me into tiny pieces as I felt like I was witness to a shock, slow breakdown and at the same time, incredible efforts to regain sense of self in the wake of a nightmare. It made me question our natural tendency to gender type due to the total absence of gender typing in the book. It made me reevaluate my feelings towards sexual assault... making me realise that it wasn't about how far the perpetrator got or how physically bruised the person was at all because it's not about sex. It never was.
In case you're wondering, I started off picturing Sandy as a girl (it must have something to do with the abundance of female protagonists in Young Adult fiction) and then, when I realised the sex was never mentioned, tried imagining Sandy as a boy... and gradually, after switching back and forth a few times, I ended up reading Sandy as... Sandy. That made for a very liberating and different experience! Maybe I Will has been compared to Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson and while it is definitely recommended for those who read and loved Speak, I think this novel stands on its own in terms of the barriers it breaks and the way it picks apart the assault; zeroing in on the core of what it really was.
I found myself thinking about this six-word paragraph I read in Anthem: "I am. I think. I will." The words were so powerful, but they kept turning into questions in my mind. I am. Who am I? I think. What do I think? I will. I will what? Maybe I will, but maybe I won't. Maybe I will, but maybe I don't. Maybe I don't will anything. Maybe it all happens regardless of my will.
In case you didn't get the drift from the above quote alone, Maybe I Will is powerful. It's intense and devastating, in part, because of the tragedy that befalls the protagonist and for the most part, because of the way it is written itself.
We do not know much about Sandy in the beginning. We do not know his(/her) gender, for instance. Sandy's parents intended to name the main character Sandy, short for Sandford or Sandra. What was it finally short for? We do not know. At the same time, we know that Sandy is a powerhouse of amazing on stage. That Sandy is a sophomore who takes high school seriously... seriously enough to think hard over his/her assignments anyway. We also know that Sandy really hits it off with a co-actor in the Peter Pan play; Shanika Washington. That Sandy loves the Bard, quotes Shakespeare in a way that is infectious and watches Hamlet for fun. That Sandy seems to have loving and caring parents and good enough friends. That Sandy is incredibly, inspiringly and realistically resilient. So. Do we know Sandy after all?
Despite not knowing Sandy's sex or sexual orientation... constructs that seem to be enough to characterise most Young Adult protagonists these days... don't we know Sandy? Irrespective of the exclusion of Sandy's gender from the story which would've probably influenced our thoughts of Sandy as either "sensitive" or "angsty" depending on whether Sandy was male or female... or as gay or straight... we know Sandy. In fact, we know more of Sandy, now that the labels have been tucked away from our line of vision.
Then, at the central point of the story comes the act of violence that you anticipate and yet barely see coming... the consequences on Sandy's esteem, health and social life shock you. Sandy is sexually assaulted... there is no other word for it... or is there? Because just like the other carefully label-excluded aspects of the story, the incident, despite being crude and aggressive and violating, is clearly not about sex.
The assault makes Sandy feel violated and vulnerable and friendless... reduced to a shell. Redefining Sandy; as he/she questions things that were once taken for granted.
Maybe I Will blew.me.away.It figuratively shattered me into tiny pieces as I felt like I was witness to a shock, slow breakdown and at the same time, incredible efforts to regain sense of self in the wake of a nightmare. It made me question our natural tendency to gender type due to the total absence of gender typing in the book. It made me reevaluate my feelings towards sexual assault... making me realise that it wasn't about how far the perpetrator got or how physically bruised the person was at all because it's not about sex. It never was.
In case you're wondering, I started off picturing Sandy as a girl (it must have something to do with the abundance of female protagonists in Young Adult fiction) and then, when I realised the sex was never mentioned, tried imagining Sandy as a boy... and gradually, after switching back and forth a few times, I ended up reading Sandy as... Sandy. That made for a very liberating and different experience! Maybe I Will has been compared to Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson and while it is definitely recommended for those who read and loved Speak, I think this novel stands on its own in terms of the barriers it breaks and the way it picks apart the assault; zeroing in on the core of what it really was.
December 29, 2015
For more reviews, check out I Read, Ergo I Write
Dear Sandy,
It feels weird to be writing a letter to someone whose gender I do not know. But you know what? I'm going ahead anyways, because gender notwithstanding, I feel I somehow 'connected' to you on some level while I was reading your story. Does that sound bizarre? Well, maybe it is (it is, I know), but that did happen, so... yeah.
And in case you were wondering, Maybe I Will is truly ambiguous regarding your gender. Since I was inclined to think of you as a girl, I purposely adjusted my mind to look at you as a guy. And it still fit. Perfectly. Even the end, when you take into account the day and age we are living in.
Being a bookish person myself, I loved watching you use Shakespeare in your own life. Honestly, I've always been kind of intimidated by The Bard, and though I've read the works that are a requisite for anyone who can respectfully call themselves a lover of literature, I've never gotten what all the hype was about a few of his works. But after seeing them in your eyes, it painted a whole new picture for me.
Speaking of literature, dude (and although by dictionary speak, 'dude' is actually gender specific, I use it for everyone :D), your poetry is great! Not convoluted, it sounded like just another teenager trying to speak to another person, which just drove the message home that much harder.
I used the word 'connected' earlier. Did that sound presumptuous? (because it sounded that way to me) Let me explain myself. There is no way I can even begin to imagine everything that you have gone through, but there were parts of you that I could relate to, especially your poetry and your love for literature and drama. The following verses were my favourite among all your works in the book, because it's something I find myself experiencing increasingly often of late.
I have this feeling.
Somewhere in the universe there must be a word.
A word attached solely to this feeling alone.
A word that I could say, that you would hear,
Allowing us both to understand.
If such a word exists, it eludes me.
I’ve considered creating the word myself ...
but how would I explain its meaning to you?
Most books I've read on this subject take place after the act itself, so we dont get to see the immediate effects such violence has on a person. Readers will get a very raw image after reading your account of what happened, despite how rapidly it takes place, but I think that's probably necessary. For us to be able to deal with the consequences in a manner suiting the enormity of the violence, we have to be able to understand it, and I think accounts such as yours will open our eyes to the brutality that is felt.
Shanika sounds like a great friend. I'd love to hear more about her, if you're planning to write anything anytime. I certainly didn't expect Cassie or Troy (especially Troy) to behave they way they did, but I guess that's one great thing about difficult times. It puts friendships to the test and only the ones who emerge unscathed from it and your true friends.
The book reminded me a lot of Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak. But where Speak has an almost ethereal quality to it (which works wonders for Speak), Maybe I Will comes across as straightforward and grounded.
Maybe I Will ended in a positive note. I'm hoping that was a glimpse into your future, or rather, present, and you've healed now and come through as a stronger human being.
Keep strong.
And Kudos!
Fahima
For more reviews, check out I Read, Ergo I Write
Dear Sandy,
It feels weird to be writing a letter to someone whose gender I do not know. But you know what? I'm going ahead anyways, because gender notwithstanding, I feel I somehow 'connected' to you on some level while I was reading your story. Does that sound bizarre? Well, maybe it is (it is, I know), but that did happen, so... yeah.
And in case you were wondering, Maybe I Will is truly ambiguous regarding your gender. Since I was inclined to think of you as a girl, I purposely adjusted my mind to look at you as a guy. And it still fit. Perfectly. Even the end, when you take into account the day and age we are living in.
Being a bookish person myself, I loved watching you use Shakespeare in your own life. Honestly, I've always been kind of intimidated by The Bard, and though I've read the works that are a requisite for anyone who can respectfully call themselves a lover of literature, I've never gotten what all the hype was about a few of his works. But after seeing them in your eyes, it painted a whole new picture for me.
Speaking of literature, dude (and although by dictionary speak, 'dude' is actually gender specific, I use it for everyone :D), your poetry is great! Not convoluted, it sounded like just another teenager trying to speak to another person, which just drove the message home that much harder.
I used the word 'connected' earlier. Did that sound presumptuous? (because it sounded that way to me) Let me explain myself. There is no way I can even begin to imagine everything that you have gone through, but there were parts of you that I could relate to, especially your poetry and your love for literature and drama. The following verses were my favourite among all your works in the book, because it's something I find myself experiencing increasingly often of late.
I have this feeling.
Somewhere in the universe there must be a word.
A word attached solely to this feeling alone.
A word that I could say, that you would hear,
Allowing us both to understand.
If such a word exists, it eludes me.
I’ve considered creating the word myself ...
but how would I explain its meaning to you?
Most books I've read on this subject take place after the act itself, so we dont get to see the immediate effects such violence has on a person. Readers will get a very raw image after reading your account of what happened, despite how rapidly it takes place, but I think that's probably necessary. For us to be able to deal with the consequences in a manner suiting the enormity of the violence, we have to be able to understand it, and I think accounts such as yours will open our eyes to the brutality that is felt.
Shanika sounds like a great friend. I'd love to hear more about her, if you're planning to write anything anytime. I certainly didn't expect Cassie or Troy (especially Troy) to behave they way they did, but I guess that's one great thing about difficult times. It puts friendships to the test and only the ones who emerge unscathed from it and your true friends.
The book reminded me a lot of Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak. But where Speak has an almost ethereal quality to it (which works wonders for Speak), Maybe I Will comes across as straightforward and grounded.
Maybe I Will ended in a positive note. I'm hoping that was a glimpse into your future, or rather, present, and you've healed now and come through as a stronger human being.
Keep strong.
And Kudos!
Fahima
For more reviews, check out I Read, Ergo I Write
October 11, 2014
This book is refreshingly honest when dealing with the topic of sexual assault/rape. Sandy as a gender ambiguous character is a novel and interesting approach to a book of this nature. I chose to read the book once with both possible genders in mind. There were times based on Sandy's reactions, comments, and thoughts that made me think Sandy was one way or the other, but it was fun realizing how little gender mattered in how the book made me feel.
I see how most people would find the ending (not spoiling) uncomfortable due to the ambiguity, but it did not bother me in the least. It should not change the ambiguous nature of the book either. This book bucked the trend by writing something so profound without ever sharing Sandy's gender or sexual orientation. I highly recommend this book but be warned it is a hard one to read.
I see how most people would find the ending (not spoiling) uncomfortable due to the ambiguity, but it did not bother me in the least. It should not change the ambiguous nature of the book either. This book bucked the trend by writing something so profound without ever sharing Sandy's gender or sexual orientation. I highly recommend this book but be warned it is a hard one to read.
August 8, 2013
Vic recommended this. As a parent, it's a tough book to read, especially after just finishing Defending Jacob. The author does a masterful job of not giving away the main character's gender, allowing the reader to draw one's own decision. As a young adult novel about sexual assault, alcohol abuse, and depression, the unknown gender of the main character allows readers of all types to relate in the way they see fit.
The book describes the tailspin after a trauma, as the main character struggles to cope. The descriptions of the loneliness, depression, and despair are hauntingly accurate.
The book describes the tailspin after a trauma, as the main character struggles to cope. The descriptions of the loneliness, depression, and despair are hauntingly accurate.
September 11, 2013
Maybe I Will, or Maybe I Won't. Either way, it's not about sex. Ever.
I'm live blogging again as my time today is short, and very precious. You see, I've started another year of teaching piano and voice and Kindermusik.
This book is a big chunk to bite off, and an even bigger piece of steak to chew and review. It's going to take me a few 'kicks at the cat' to get it finished, but it will be up by the end of the night.
There's just so much to talk about. So lets start at the beginning.
I don't know if it was on purpose, but I do know it worked very well. I find most teenagers annoying. This book made me very annoyed at the character (we never find out boy or girl, and it doesn't matter). Is it a bad thing I was so annoyed at teen speak and complaining?
HELL NO.
It made me that much more attached, and made my feelings so much more intense when we got to the act of violence. I was sad at myself for feeling annoyed, I identified with the character, and I had to think twice about how people looked at me when I was a teenager.
As my heart clenches, and I can feel all the old anxiety bubble up, I'll leave you there. I need a break. (Also I have to teach a few lessons.) Lessons aren't the point though, the anxiety, fear, loathing and hatred all loom beneath the surface. Today though, maybe I will go teach those lessons, and I will walk out the door and go do what I love. No one can take that from me.
I'll be back, to continue the review, the discussion, and leave you with this:
"It's really not about sex."
It never was, never is, and never will be. Maybe I Will should be read by every teenager and required reading in schools. It's as important as reading April Raintree was for me when I went to school. The nature of the book, and the discussions it can bring up are really, truely important for a young audience to understand.
Laurie Gray clearly has the expertise to write this book, and not only that, she's a great story teller as well. When I wasn't VERY annoyed at teen-speak, I was sobbing and crying right along with the characters.
Read this book with a warning, you will cry, and it will affect you. I still think it's a very important book to read, and that it should be read by everyone, boys and girls alike. Make sure you read the summary below, and if you haven't got time, this is the really great bit:
It is a sad fact that an act of violence can change and alter who we are. It changes EVERYTHING, from the way we interact with people to the way we perceive those around us.
If you have ever been through an event like the one in the book, whether it's a sexual assault, bullying, or emotional abuse, please know that you aren't alone. Every decision can seem like an obstacle, and even managing to walk out the door is sometimes like climbing a mountain.
Just know that there are others out there, and maybe, just maybe you should pick up this book. In those moment of torment, when you want to end it all, or just give up, pick up this book. Say "Maybe I Will", and turn the first page. By the end of the book, I promise, you'll be thinking "Maybe I Won't *give up, get out, end it all*."
About the Book - About the Author - Prizes!!!
Welcome to Novel Publicity's latest publishing house blog tour. Join us as two new titles from Luminis Books--we're calling them the Luminis Duo--tour the blogosphere in a way that just can't be ignored. And, hey, we've got prizes!
About the book: It's not about sex.
It's about how one secret act of violence changes everything--how best friends can desert you when you need them most, how nobody understands. It's about the drinking and stealing and lying and wondering who you can trust. It's about parents and teachers, police officers and counselors--all the people who are supposed to help you, but who may not even believe you.
It's about how suddenly all of your hopes and dreams can vanish, and you can find yourself all alone, with nothing and no one. Your only choice is to end it all or to start over... and all you can think is Maybe I Will.
Author Laurie Gray presents a compelling picture of the realities of sexual assault in Maybe I Will, drawing on her years of experience as a Deputy Prosecuting Attorney, dealing with crimes against children. The twist in the story is that we never know for sure if the victim is a boy or a girl, and we realize that it doesn't matter, because it's not about sex.
Pick up your copy of this Young Adult (with mature themes) through Amazon US, Amazon UK, or Barnes & Noble.
About the author: Laurie Gray has worked as a high school teacher, a deputy prosecuting attorney, and the founder of Socratic Parenting LLC (www.SocraticParenting.com). In addition to writing, speaking and consulting, Laurie currently works as a bilingual child forensic interviewer at her local Child Advocacy Center and as an adjunct professor of criminal sciences at Indiana Tech. She has served on the faculty of the National Symposium for Child Abuse in Huntsville, Alabama, annually since 2009. Her debut novel Summer Sanctuary (Luminis Books/2010) received a Moon Beam Gold Medal for excellence in young adult fiction and was named a 2011 Indiana Best Book Finalist. Her third young adult novel Just Myrto (Luminis Books/2014) will carry readers back to ancient Greece to meet Socrates, Laurie’s favorite teacher of all times. Connect with Laurie on her website, Facebook, or GoodReads.
About the prizes: Who doesn't love prizes? You could win either of two $25 Amazon gift cards, an autographed copy of Maybe I Will by Laurie Gray Aloha, Mozart by Waimea Williams, or an autographed copy of its tour mate, Aloha, Mozart by Waimea Williams. Here's what you need to do...
Enter the Rafflecopter contest
Leave a comment on my blog.
That's it! One random commenter during this tour will win a $25 gift card. Visit more blogs for more chances to win--the full list of participating bloggers can be found here. The other $25 gift card and the 3 autographed books will be given out via Rafflecopter. You can find the contest entry form linked below or on the official Luminis Duo tour page via Novel Publicity. Good luck!
Luminis Books was launched in January, 2010 by husband and wife team Tracy Richardson and Chris Katsaropoulos with a mission to publish thought-provoking literary fiction for children and adults. We publish what we love: Meaningful Books That Entertain. Our award-winning books engage and inform readers and explore a wide range of topics from love and relationships, teen sexual assault and homelessness to string theory, consciousness, and the Universal Energy Field. Luminis Books is a proudly independent publisher located in Carmel, IN. Learn more at www.luminisbooks.com.
Learn more about Maybe I Will's tour mate HERE.
If you read this blog regularly, you know what follows is the silly recipe that the book reminded me of.
You may also know there's bound to be a crazy star trek reference or sci-fi reference at the very least. I had this all typed and saved last night, but then the internet ate my blog post.
Seriously, something in the browser decided the last 2 hours didn't exists and my post reverted back to it's previous form, never to be seen again.
That said, the book made me think about comfort food, and how when I was a teenager, it didn't matter what the problem was, my mom always fed me toast and home-made jam of some kind.
So, I'm about to share with you, my secret Romanesco Marmalade recipe.
What's Romanesco?
This is! I bet you didn't know you could make marmalade out of zucchini!
You can, and I'll be you'll never know the difference between it and Oranges. Plus, zucchini is a heck of a lot easier to shred.
5 cups shredded (deseeded) romanesco squash
5 cups sugar or 3 cups honey
3 Lemons, juiced and skin grated
1 cup crushed pineapple
Combine all of these together in a large heavy bottomed pot and bring to a boil on low heat. Continue cooking on low until jam is thick.
To test for thickness, place a saucer in the freezer, then after jam has cooked spoon a teaspoonful on the saucer place back into the freezer and wait approximately 1 minute. If it forms a 'skin' then the jam is ready.
Pour jam into sterilized jars and heat process for 10 minutes. How do you heat process? Find out here.
Sounds simple hey?
Except it's missing something. That's right, I left out my own secret ingredient, but that's the beauty of cooking.
I Khannn has the secret ingredient now?
No, No you cannot. At least not until
Benedict Cumberbatch shows up on my door unexpectedly and demands it.
What makes my marmalade comfort food doesn't mean it makes it yours. Play around, add a unique flavour like amaretto, almond extract, or maybe even peppermint...
Sometimes, you just have to create your own comfort.
I'm live blogging again as my time today is short, and very precious. You see, I've started another year of teaching piano and voice and Kindermusik.
This book is a big chunk to bite off, and an even bigger piece of steak to chew and review. It's going to take me a few 'kicks at the cat' to get it finished, but it will be up by the end of the night.
There's just so much to talk about. So lets start at the beginning.
I don't know if it was on purpose, but I do know it worked very well. I find most teenagers annoying. This book made me very annoyed at the character (we never find out boy or girl, and it doesn't matter). Is it a bad thing I was so annoyed at teen speak and complaining?
HELL NO.
It made me that much more attached, and made my feelings so much more intense when we got to the act of violence. I was sad at myself for feeling annoyed, I identified with the character, and I had to think twice about how people looked at me when I was a teenager.
As my heart clenches, and I can feel all the old anxiety bubble up, I'll leave you there. I need a break. (Also I have to teach a few lessons.) Lessons aren't the point though, the anxiety, fear, loathing and hatred all loom beneath the surface. Today though, maybe I will go teach those lessons, and I will walk out the door and go do what I love. No one can take that from me.
I'll be back, to continue the review, the discussion, and leave you with this:
"It's really not about sex."
It never was, never is, and never will be. Maybe I Will should be read by every teenager and required reading in schools. It's as important as reading April Raintree was for me when I went to school. The nature of the book, and the discussions it can bring up are really, truely important for a young audience to understand.
Laurie Gray clearly has the expertise to write this book, and not only that, she's a great story teller as well. When I wasn't VERY annoyed at teen-speak, I was sobbing and crying right along with the characters.
Read this book with a warning, you will cry, and it will affect you. I still think it's a very important book to read, and that it should be read by everyone, boys and girls alike. Make sure you read the summary below, and if you haven't got time, this is the really great bit:
"It's about how one secret act of violence changes everything--how best friends can desert you when you need them most, how nobody understands. It's about the drinking and stealing and lying and wondering who you can trust. It's about parents and teachers, police officers and counselors--all the people who are supposed to help you, but who may not even believe you."
It is a sad fact that an act of violence can change and alter who we are. It changes EVERYTHING, from the way we interact with people to the way we perceive those around us.
If you have ever been through an event like the one in the book, whether it's a sexual assault, bullying, or emotional abuse, please know that you aren't alone. Every decision can seem like an obstacle, and even managing to walk out the door is sometimes like climbing a mountain.
Just know that there are others out there, and maybe, just maybe you should pick up this book. In those moment of torment, when you want to end it all, or just give up, pick up this book. Say "Maybe I Will", and turn the first page. By the end of the book, I promise, you'll be thinking "Maybe I Won't *give up, get out, end it all*."
About the Book - About the Author - Prizes!!!
Welcome to Novel Publicity's latest publishing house blog tour. Join us as two new titles from Luminis Books--we're calling them the Luminis Duo--tour the blogosphere in a way that just can't be ignored. And, hey, we've got prizes!
About the book: It's not about sex.
It's about how one secret act of violence changes everything--how best friends can desert you when you need them most, how nobody understands. It's about the drinking and stealing and lying and wondering who you can trust. It's about parents and teachers, police officers and counselors--all the people who are supposed to help you, but who may not even believe you.
It's about how suddenly all of your hopes and dreams can vanish, and you can find yourself all alone, with nothing and no one. Your only choice is to end it all or to start over... and all you can think is Maybe I Will.
Author Laurie Gray presents a compelling picture of the realities of sexual assault in Maybe I Will, drawing on her years of experience as a Deputy Prosecuting Attorney, dealing with crimes against children. The twist in the story is that we never know for sure if the victim is a boy or a girl, and we realize that it doesn't matter, because it's not about sex.
Pick up your copy of this Young Adult (with mature themes) through Amazon US, Amazon UK, or Barnes & Noble.
About the author: Laurie Gray has worked as a high school teacher, a deputy prosecuting attorney, and the founder of Socratic Parenting LLC (www.SocraticParenting.com). In addition to writing, speaking and consulting, Laurie currently works as a bilingual child forensic interviewer at her local Child Advocacy Center and as an adjunct professor of criminal sciences at Indiana Tech. She has served on the faculty of the National Symposium for Child Abuse in Huntsville, Alabama, annually since 2009. Her debut novel Summer Sanctuary (Luminis Books/2010) received a Moon Beam Gold Medal for excellence in young adult fiction and was named a 2011 Indiana Best Book Finalist. Her third young adult novel Just Myrto (Luminis Books/2014) will carry readers back to ancient Greece to meet Socrates, Laurie’s favorite teacher of all times. Connect with Laurie on her website, Facebook, or GoodReads.
About the prizes: Who doesn't love prizes? You could win either of two $25 Amazon gift cards, an autographed copy of Maybe I Will by Laurie Gray Aloha, Mozart by Waimea Williams, or an autographed copy of its tour mate, Aloha, Mozart by Waimea Williams. Here's what you need to do...
Enter the Rafflecopter contest
Leave a comment on my blog.
That's it! One random commenter during this tour will win a $25 gift card. Visit more blogs for more chances to win--the full list of participating bloggers can be found here. The other $25 gift card and the 3 autographed books will be given out via Rafflecopter. You can find the contest entry form linked below or on the official Luminis Duo tour page via Novel Publicity. Good luck!
Luminis Books was launched in January, 2010 by husband and wife team Tracy Richardson and Chris Katsaropoulos with a mission to publish thought-provoking literary fiction for children and adults. We publish what we love: Meaningful Books That Entertain. Our award-winning books engage and inform readers and explore a wide range of topics from love and relationships, teen sexual assault and homelessness to string theory, consciousness, and the Universal Energy Field. Luminis Books is a proudly independent publisher located in Carmel, IN. Learn more at www.luminisbooks.com.
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If you read this blog regularly, you know what follows is the silly recipe that the book reminded me of.
You may also know there's bound to be a crazy star trek reference or sci-fi reference at the very least. I had this all typed and saved last night, but then the internet ate my blog post.
Seriously, something in the browser decided the last 2 hours didn't exists and my post reverted back to it's previous form, never to be seen again.
That said, the book made me think about comfort food, and how when I was a teenager, it didn't matter what the problem was, my mom always fed me toast and home-made jam of some kind.
So, I'm about to share with you, my secret Romanesco Marmalade recipe.
What's Romanesco?
This is! I bet you didn't know you could make marmalade out of zucchini!You can, and I'll be you'll never know the difference between it and Oranges. Plus, zucchini is a heck of a lot easier to shred.
5 cups shredded (deseeded) romanesco squash
5 cups sugar or 3 cups honey
3 Lemons, juiced and skin grated
1 cup crushed pineapple
Combine all of these together in a large heavy bottomed pot and bring to a boil on low heat. Continue cooking on low until jam is thick.
To test for thickness, place a saucer in the freezer, then after jam has cooked spoon a teaspoonful on the saucer place back into the freezer and wait approximately 1 minute. If it forms a 'skin' then the jam is ready.
Pour jam into sterilized jars and heat process for 10 minutes. How do you heat process? Find out here.
Sounds simple hey?
Except it's missing something. That's right, I left out my own secret ingredient, but that's the beauty of cooking.
I Khannn has the secret ingredient now?
No, No you cannot. At least not until Benedict Cumberbatch shows up on my door unexpectedly and demands it.
What makes my marmalade comfort food doesn't mean it makes it yours. Play around, add a unique flavour like amaretto, almond extract, or maybe even peppermint...
Sometimes, you just have to create your own comfort.
September 12, 2013
As the story opens up, Sandy is a well adjusted teen with two great friends, Cassie and Troy, friends from preschool days. Family life is good, school is good and Sandy is happy. One night while hanging out at Cassie’s house things gets out of hand and Cassie’s boyfriend Aaron gets physical with Sandy. Sandy is talking up a new sport and Aaron wants to show Sandy just what he knows. Aaron rapes Sandy. Sandy is thrown into a whirlwind of emotions and the immediate escape is alcohol. It’s a downward spiral, spinning Sandy further down into depression and hatred. Sandy tries to climb out but life gets to be too hard and despair seems to be the easier way out. Facing reality and finding out exactly who are Sandy’s real friends are just part of the challenges ahead for Sandy on the road to recovery. The power of poetry and Shakespeare are significant skills that Sandy’s possesses that can help Sandy move ahead if and when Sandy wants to take the steps.
Its 10:30 pm, I was just finishing up the Author’s Notes at the end of the novel regarding Maybe I Will and I was left speechless. Sure, I remembered that the book was about rape and its effect on a young teen but the other twist I had completely, I mean totally completely forgotten about that. So that is why I woke up my husband spilling out the entire book’s storyline to him while he was barely able to hold open his eyes the other night. This twist had to do with gender identity. The main character is Sandy and I guess since my name is also Sandy, I assumed this character was a girl but there is no reference to that in the whole book. The author clarifies that in the Author’s Notes which totally threw me for a loop and a shocker. As I was reading this book, the author uses the word “I” a lot referring to Sandy which really bothered me as I was reading. I wondered why there were no other pronouns used and I understand that now. I have to applaud the author for such great writing skills as she left the gender open for the reader. Looking back at the story now, it’s like you choose your own main character, is it a girl or a boy? For what is rape? For every state, rape is defined differently but a broad definition of rape is a form of unwanted sexual behavior that is imposed on someone. Rape is about power but gender identity, it is not immune to.
I received a copy of this book for an honest opinion.
Its 10:30 pm, I was just finishing up the Author’s Notes at the end of the novel regarding Maybe I Will and I was left speechless. Sure, I remembered that the book was about rape and its effect on a young teen but the other twist I had completely, I mean totally completely forgotten about that. So that is why I woke up my husband spilling out the entire book’s storyline to him while he was barely able to hold open his eyes the other night. This twist had to do with gender identity. The main character is Sandy and I guess since my name is also Sandy, I assumed this character was a girl but there is no reference to that in the whole book. The author clarifies that in the Author’s Notes which totally threw me for a loop and a shocker. As I was reading this book, the author uses the word “I” a lot referring to Sandy which really bothered me as I was reading. I wondered why there were no other pronouns used and I understand that now. I have to applaud the author for such great writing skills as she left the gender open for the reader. Looking back at the story now, it’s like you choose your own main character, is it a girl or a boy? For what is rape? For every state, rape is defined differently but a broad definition of rape is a form of unwanted sexual behavior that is imposed on someone. Rape is about power but gender identity, it is not immune to.
I received a copy of this book for an honest opinion.
March 9, 2013
As the summary says, we don't know for sure if Sandy is a Sanford or a Sandra. I went back and forth on which one it was (there are compelling arguments on each side) and while it doesn't really matter, if Sandy is a Sanford, I wish that had been made clear. (Why, you may ask, if it doesn't really matter? Because sexual assault against men does happen and yet it's never discussed in books. And even in this book, there's just as much evidence that Sandy is a Sandra as a Sanford. And it would have been so important and groundbreaking if we knew for sure that Sandy is a Sanford.) And as a reviewer, it's also a little annoying because I have to keep saying "Sandy" and can't say "him" or "her" and I refuse to say "him or her" or "he or she" or whatever.
And yet I get the choice. This is something that could happen to anyone and it's much easier to relate to Sandy if we don't know anything about gender or appearance. Sandy is a blank slate and thus a perfect reflection for whatever the reader brings to the table.
It's hard to watch Sandy go from being a normal, well-adjusted and happy teenager to a sullen, angry shell. Despite never really being a partier before, Sandy starts binge-drinking---which is troubling enough---and 99% of the time, drinking alone and at school. (Vodka in the water bottle.) People notice the change (it's not exactly subtle) but since Sandy isn't talking about the cause of said change, it's hard for them to tell whether it's normal teenage angst or if something's really wrong. You can't help someone when they refuse to let you, you know?
This is a very important book, and I hope parents read it and share with their kids.
And yet I get the choice. This is something that could happen to anyone and it's much easier to relate to Sandy if we don't know anything about gender or appearance. Sandy is a blank slate and thus a perfect reflection for whatever the reader brings to the table.
It's hard to watch Sandy go from being a normal, well-adjusted and happy teenager to a sullen, angry shell. Despite never really being a partier before, Sandy starts binge-drinking---which is troubling enough---and 99% of the time, drinking alone and at school. (Vodka in the water bottle.) People notice the change (it's not exactly subtle) but since Sandy isn't talking about the cause of said change, it's hard for them to tell whether it's normal teenage angst or if something's really wrong. You can't help someone when they refuse to let you, you know?
This is a very important book, and I hope parents read it and share with their kids.
March 14, 2013
Books that deal with sexual assaults always touch my heart. You, along with the characters, learn how to deal with what has happened. Your able to to read along and feel the emotions, the hurt, and the anger. But most of all, you get a chance to learn to let go and become stronger.
I really loved the plot of the book. This young girl who is so ambitious taken by surprise. Her reaction to what happen to her is real. It's not something fabricated or not done correctly. She's falls slowly into depression then all together. She hides it and suffers all alone. She bottles it up inside and its crazy to see Sandy fall from the once smiling, happy gal to someone you don't recognize. Sandy has great people around her who immediately notice and try to help.
The story also has great minor characters that help Sandy. She finds REAL friends who stand by her side. Her other so called "friends?" Pssh! Don't even get me started on those people.
The ending of the book felt a bit weird. Not that anything it wrong with it but it just change so abruptly that it caught me off guard.
Maybe I Will is an engrossing tale of finding the strength to speak. Feeling lost and forgotten, Maybe I Will is ambitious and clear. A sobering message that everyone needs to read, Maybe I Will is awesome!
I really loved the plot of the book. This young girl who is so ambitious taken by surprise. Her reaction to what happen to her is real. It's not something fabricated or not done correctly. She's falls slowly into depression then all together. She hides it and suffers all alone. She bottles it up inside and its crazy to see Sandy fall from the once smiling, happy gal to someone you don't recognize. Sandy has great people around her who immediately notice and try to help.
The story also has great minor characters that help Sandy. She finds REAL friends who stand by her side. Her other so called "friends?" Pssh! Don't even get me started on those people.
The ending of the book felt a bit weird. Not that anything it wrong with it but it just change so abruptly that it caught me off guard.
Maybe I Will is an engrossing tale of finding the strength to speak. Feeling lost and forgotten, Maybe I Will is ambitious and clear. A sobering message that everyone needs to read, Maybe I Will is awesome!
August 23, 2013
Sophomore Sandy Peareson’s life is going great. Sandy’s plan is to study drama at Julliard and has been cast as Peter Pan in the school’s musical. Sandy is part of a trio of best friends who have been understanding and supporting each other since preschool. As an only child, Sandy receives plenty of attention and support from his/her parents. Sandy’s gender is never revealed throughout the story which makes it powerfully relatable to both male and female teens. Then, one night changes Sandy’s life forever. Sandy is hanging out at BFF Cassie’s house with her and her boyfriend, Aaron. When Cassie leaves the room, Aaron suddenly starts wrestling Sandy and then sexually assaults Sandy. Sandy is too stunned to even process what has happened and quickly leaves.
This event causes a downward spiral in Sandy’s life as Sandy tries to cope by drinking alcohol which results in Sandy stealing alcohol to make sure some is always on hand. Yet nothing can drown the pain Sandy feels while trying to cope alone. A glimmer of hope appears when a fellow actor reaches out to Sandy and encourages Sandy to participate in Taekwondo with her.
Teens will enjoy this heart-breaking, riveting story of how one teen deals with the aftermath of sexual abuse. The bonus is that Sandy loves Shakespeare and quotes him whenever possible; each chapter begins with a quote from the Bard.
This event causes a downward spiral in Sandy’s life as Sandy tries to cope by drinking alcohol which results in Sandy stealing alcohol to make sure some is always on hand. Yet nothing can drown the pain Sandy feels while trying to cope alone. A glimmer of hope appears when a fellow actor reaches out to Sandy and encourages Sandy to participate in Taekwondo with her.
Teens will enjoy this heart-breaking, riveting story of how one teen deals with the aftermath of sexual abuse. The bonus is that Sandy loves Shakespeare and quotes him whenever possible; each chapter begins with a quote from the Bard.
September 19, 2013
Life couldn't be better for Sandy. Cassie and Troy are the best friends that one could ever hope for, and Sandy's parents are understanding and supportive. Nailing the role of Peter Pan at the school musical and the new iPhone makes life even better. And then tragedy strikes.
One night at Cassie's house, Sandy is sexually abused by Cassie's boyfriend, Aaron. In a matter of seconds, Sandy is traumatised and life takes a downward spiral. Sandy turns to drinking, and steals to support the habit. Depression and anger become close friends as Sandy starts to isolate from both Cassie, who believes Aaron's story, and Troy, who is anguished at having to choose between them.
There are relatively few books that make me cry, and this is one of them. It's very easy to identify with Sandy's thoughts and feelings, even if you've never been in the same situation. Gray's storytelling makes everything so vivid and so real that you are able to step into Sandy's situation and identify with him/her.
It's not clear if Sandy is a guy or a girl. In certain passages, I'd imagine Sandy, in all her enthusiasm and excitement, as a girl. In others, Sandy's actions lead me to believe he's a guy. This was done intentionally by Laurie Gray, and it's quite effective in her purpose - to emphasise the fact that sexual abuse happens to everyone, whether male or female.
One night at Cassie's house, Sandy is sexually abused by Cassie's boyfriend, Aaron. In a matter of seconds, Sandy is traumatised and life takes a downward spiral. Sandy turns to drinking, and steals to support the habit. Depression and anger become close friends as Sandy starts to isolate from both Cassie, who believes Aaron's story, and Troy, who is anguished at having to choose between them.
There are relatively few books that make me cry, and this is one of them. It's very easy to identify with Sandy's thoughts and feelings, even if you've never been in the same situation. Gray's storytelling makes everything so vivid and so real that you are able to step into Sandy's situation and identify with him/her.
It's not clear if Sandy is a guy or a girl. In certain passages, I'd imagine Sandy, in all her enthusiasm and excitement, as a girl. In others, Sandy's actions lead me to believe he's a guy. This was done intentionally by Laurie Gray, and it's quite effective in her purpose - to emphasise the fact that sexual abuse happens to everyone, whether male or female.
September 17, 2013
This was a powerful issue book. It’s aimed at mature YA readers, and covers not only sexual abuse, but also alcohol abuse, depression, friendship, and a load of other things. But it’s done so in a way that is entertaining, and meaningful to readers of any gender.
The most unique aspect of this story is that the reader never learns Sandy’s gender. The entire story is written so the main character could be either male or female. This is a risky move that would either turn out amazing, or crash and burn hard. In this case, it was amazing all the way.
I found it very realistic, and in turn, very sad that it is easy to imagine this as a real story. The abuse wasn’t even the worse thing Sandy went through, it was the loss of everything that came after. I cannot express how sad and mad Cassie and Troy made me. I obviously wouldn’t spoil anything by explaining what they did, but I just didn’t like it.
Overall, this was an amazing story that I’m sure will become wildly popular as an issue book. It has a unique angle that will appeal to most readers. And the story itself is gripping and intriguing.
The most unique aspect of this story is that the reader never learns Sandy’s gender. The entire story is written so the main character could be either male or female. This is a risky move that would either turn out amazing, or crash and burn hard. In this case, it was amazing all the way.
I found it very realistic, and in turn, very sad that it is easy to imagine this as a real story. The abuse wasn’t even the worse thing Sandy went through, it was the loss of everything that came after. I cannot express how sad and mad Cassie and Troy made me. I obviously wouldn’t spoil anything by explaining what they did, but I just didn’t like it.
Overall, this was an amazing story that I’m sure will become wildly popular as an issue book. It has a unique angle that will appeal to most readers. And the story itself is gripping and intriguing.
February 24, 2017
"Really liked it" isn't exactly how I would describe my reaction to this book, but in terms of stars, it had to get high marks, so I'm going with four. Although I didn't precisely enjoy reading it (thus four instead of five stars), I did admire it, and would echo other reviewers who have called this an "important" book, a ground-breaking book, a book that both parents and teens would benefit from reading. The gender issue really threw me for a loop, because I had made one assumption throughout the book and then the ending made me see that perhaps my assumption should have been different--or there shouldn't have been one. I'd like to go back and read the book with the opposite assumption and see if it works for me…but not yet. I predict this book will take its place with Speak, with Thirteen Reasons Why, with other books that feature teens who must choose how to deal with pain.
Still agree after rereading. I think I liked it better the second time, because I purposely read it with no gender in mind.
Still agree after rereading. I think I liked it better the second time, because I purposely read it with no gender in mind.
March 10, 2015
The book explains what happens to Sandy, a sixteen-year old gender neutral teen who is sexually assaulted. As we follow the inner and outer journey of Sandy it becomes clear that everything is different after the incident.
The author does a good job explaining how Sandy's world has changed, s/he develops a drinking problem, though a bit too sudden, and fight with her parents. Her best friends are no longer close and school all of sudden sucks. The story also showed how quickly and unexpectedly such an assault can happen.
While I get why the author used a gender neutral character and it is well done, I often found myself distracted from the story, wondering whether the protagonist was male or female. I also know from family history that the victim will more often than not refuse help from a counselor, especially in the beginning, and certainly won't share his/her experience with parents.
The author does a good job explaining how Sandy's world has changed, s/he develops a drinking problem, though a bit too sudden, and fight with her parents. Her best friends are no longer close and school all of sudden sucks. The story also showed how quickly and unexpectedly such an assault can happen.
While I get why the author used a gender neutral character and it is well done, I often found myself distracted from the story, wondering whether the protagonist was male or female. I also know from family history that the victim will more often than not refuse help from a counselor, especially in the beginning, and certainly won't share his/her experience with parents.
January 2, 2021
I really went back and forth with this one. I thought I'd love it and identify, then started reading and felt zero kinship. Finally though, I ended up appreciating the bigger picture this book was trying to convey. Though I must admit that even though I admire and value the shared experience factor, in some ways, I do wish we could know the gender of Sandy. More so, if Sandy was a guy so we could begin dismantling and tackling the various factors and stereotypes of male sexual assault victims. I feel like we're in an emergent phase as far as that's concerned. Regardless though, I appreciate the focus on the sometimes tattered parts of the healing process. I just think it skims many many surfaces.
September 16, 2013
I really loved reading Maybe I Will by Laurie Gray. I love reading books about teenagers and things they go through. This was a great book because you get to see what it was like for 3 friends and things they go through. My heart broke for Sandy because of everything she went through. I am pretty sure if I were her I would end up doing just what she did. If you love coming of age books and/or books about teenagers still in high school then you will love this book!
FTC:I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
FTC:I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
September 10, 2013
This book was great. The not knowing or gender labeling Sandy was honestly the best part of this. Sometimes it's hard to put yourself into the shoes of a main character of a book, but with this because there were no specific pronouns you could glide right into the story unbiased. It was really intense because of subject matter, but it was really worth the read. Laurie Gray did a great job with this must read book.
June 13, 2013
This book was amazing.
January 3, 2015
Very good book. I personally think the main character was a boy but they never tell you. Loved the Peter Pan references since my daughter and I have been watching Peter Pan Live over and over.
April 11, 2019
3.5 ⭐
I did not see that last plot twist coming! It totally came tip toeing like a cat and I didn't realize it until it was already on my lap
The first time "Maybe I will" term used in this novel hit me like the first nail in a coffin. Though the first part was as sad and depressing as death, the last time this term "Maybe I will" was used, felt like the last nail in the coffin but no this time it didn't refer to death or maybe life and death are two same things, only different sides of the same coin.
I read this in one sitting, stayed up till 3:20am so my eyes are shutting close right now. I'll write a proper review later.
*quotes*
"There is no bridge that will take me away and none that leads back to where I was"
This one... the in-between state.
“You three have been best friends your whole life, and when you need them most, they completely abandon you."
Then comes this quote which really hit me hard.
I really liked how the story progressed into these 3 people being really good friends and how the distance spreads like an iceberg splitting and drifting away and you don't realize how quickly the couple of inches turned into miles between them.
The interesting thing here was that Sandy loses her friends. She's confused and doesn't know where she belongs but she also gets a friend in every stage of her life... sometimes it takes time for the friend to arrive but she's not left alone.
I was so happy for her when she finds Shanika and has someone to hangout with. Then she makes another friend and all that but there's this one thing that I didn't expect (that twist in the end)
and I think that might've added a different taste to the book but in my opinion it also took the innocence of the book maybe...
Idk im trying my best to avoid spoilers but that last thing kind of took away the emphasize or should I say spotlight from the idea of "friendhip" discussion in this book.
I did not see that last plot twist coming! It totally came tip toeing like a cat and I didn't realize it until it was already on my lap
The first time "Maybe I will" term used in this novel hit me like the first nail in a coffin. Though the first part was as sad and depressing as death, the last time this term "Maybe I will" was used, felt like the last nail in the coffin but no this time it didn't refer to death or maybe life and death are two same things, only different sides of the same coin.
I read this in one sitting, stayed up till 3:20am so my eyes are shutting close right now. I'll write a proper review later.
*quotes*
"There is no bridge that will take me away and none that leads back to where I was"
This one... the in-between state.
“You three have been best friends your whole life, and when you need them most, they completely abandon you."
Then comes this quote which really hit me hard.
I really liked how the story progressed into these 3 people being really good friends and how the distance spreads like an iceberg splitting and drifting away and you don't realize how quickly the couple of inches turned into miles between them.
The interesting thing here was that Sandy loses her friends. She's confused and doesn't know where she belongs but she also gets a friend in every stage of her life... sometimes it takes time for the friend to arrive but she's not left alone.
I was so happy for her when she finds Shanika and has someone to hangout with. Then she makes another friend and all that but there's this one thing that I didn't expect (that twist in the end)
and I think that might've added a different taste to the book but in my opinion it also took the innocence of the book maybe...
Idk im trying my best to avoid spoilers but that last thing kind of took away the emphasize or should I say spotlight from the idea of "friendhip" discussion in this book.
May 13, 2019
Friends are made in the most unexpected places when the people you are closest to leave you behind. On March 15, ides of March, life changed for the worse as Cassie's boyfriend, Aaron sexually assaults Sandy. Trying to tell the truth about what happened but being labeled as a liar and crazy, Sandy turns to alcohol in order to ease the trauma. With his so called best friends deserting Sandy and with no one to relate to, will Sandy be able to heal from this wound?
I cannot say I really liked this book, as there is no solution to the problem that is being faced. The best solution given to Sandy is, "it's best to let it go" when the family realizes the police will not charge Aaron with sexual assault. Meaning that Aaron will walk free and possibly continue committing the crime with more individuals. As a lawyer, I believe that Sandy's mother held the ability of being able to pursue the case and provide the best defense lawyer for Sandy -- and even Shanika. Especially when Aaron has commited the sexual assault, not once, not twice, but three times with different individuals. However, I do give Laurie Gray the benefit of the doubt as she holds experience working with teens as a high school teacher as as a deputy prosecuting attorney. She knows that sometimes these cases do not always help the victim. Additionally, I did love that this book had a gender-less character as the protagonist as it highlights the importance that sexual assault can happen to anyone!
I cannot say I really liked this book, as there is no solution to the problem that is being faced. The best solution given to Sandy is, "it's best to let it go" when the family realizes the police will not charge Aaron with sexual assault. Meaning that Aaron will walk free and possibly continue committing the crime with more individuals. As a lawyer, I believe that Sandy's mother held the ability of being able to pursue the case and provide the best defense lawyer for Sandy -- and even Shanika. Especially when Aaron has commited the sexual assault, not once, not twice, but three times with different individuals. However, I do give Laurie Gray the benefit of the doubt as she holds experience working with teens as a high school teacher as as a deputy prosecuting attorney. She knows that sometimes these cases do not always help the victim. Additionally, I did love that this book had a gender-less character as the protagonist as it highlights the importance that sexual assault can happen to anyone!
November 10, 2024
I love this book! I read it for the first time in 2013 in middle school and just read it again in 2024. The themes are very real and relevant in my opinion. It’s a relatively quick read but it’s not leaving out any part of a potential side plot that leaves you with a ton of lingering questions.
My favorite part of the book and I think the most powerful, is that you never know if Sandy, the main character, is male, female, or somewhere in between. The first time I read the book, I read it viewing Sandy as a female, so this time around, I forced myself to see the book from a male perspective. Seeing it from both male and female now, it really didn’t make me lean much toward Sandy being male or female because I can view it as both or neither. The author wrote in such a way that she really stuck to the statement on the book jacket: it’s not about sex. There is nothing leaning towards hinting that Sandy is male or female.
Personally, I was very annoyed at the end where Sandy’s friend Cassie STILL didn’t believe what happed to him/her and chose to side with her boyfriend, the attacker, but I knew I was annoyed because it was such a real thing that could happen. I liked that this story didn’t have the sudden “happily ever after” ending, where Sandy’s friends abandon him/her and then all of a sudden have a change of heart and come running to Sandy’s side again the second Sandy reaches out, when his/her closest friends were gone most of the book.
My favorite part of the book and I think the most powerful, is that you never know if Sandy, the main character, is male, female, or somewhere in between. The first time I read the book, I read it viewing Sandy as a female, so this time around, I forced myself to see the book from a male perspective. Seeing it from both male and female now, it really didn’t make me lean much toward Sandy being male or female because I can view it as both or neither. The author wrote in such a way that she really stuck to the statement on the book jacket: it’s not about sex. There is nothing leaning towards hinting that Sandy is male or female.
Personally, I was very annoyed at the end where Sandy’s friend Cassie STILL didn’t believe what happed to him/her and chose to side with her boyfriend, the attacker, but I knew I was annoyed because it was such a real thing that could happen. I liked that this story didn’t have the sudden “happily ever after” ending, where Sandy’s friends abandon him/her and then all of a sudden have a change of heart and come running to Sandy’s side again the second Sandy reaches out, when his/her closest friends were gone most of the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 3, 2019
Reading level: 14/15 and up. Issues of sexual assault/rape and alcohol abuse make this book appropriate for a reasonably mature audience.
With best friends Cassie and Troy, a lead role in the spring musical, and dreams of attending Julliard, Sandy’s life seems pretty perfect. But one day in March, Cassie’s boyfriend, Aaron, sexually assaults Sandy. To deal with the pain, Sandy begins drinking … and shoplifting to maintain a steady supply of vodka. It’s not long before Sandy’s overwhelmed by the social and emotional fallout from the assault.
I have mixed feelings about this book. It’s a quick read that deals with some important issues. However, even though it’s copyrighted in 2013, it felt a lot like a “problem novel.” Sandy’s journey is at the core of the story, but some of the plot elements seemed forced and rang false. For example, it didn’t feel realistic for Sandy to be assaulted and begin abusing alcohol on the same day. Also, the disintegration of the friendship between Sandy, Cassie, and Troy was so complete and, at least in regard to Troy, under-motivated that it didn’t feel like a natural development. Finally, the ungendered protagonist seemed like a gimmick without a purpose. Some readers may take comfort in reading about how Sandy works through the issues of assault, alcohol abuse, stealing, friendship, and mental health.
With best friends Cassie and Troy, a lead role in the spring musical, and dreams of attending Julliard, Sandy’s life seems pretty perfect. But one day in March, Cassie’s boyfriend, Aaron, sexually assaults Sandy. To deal with the pain, Sandy begins drinking … and shoplifting to maintain a steady supply of vodka. It’s not long before Sandy’s overwhelmed by the social and emotional fallout from the assault.
I have mixed feelings about this book. It’s a quick read that deals with some important issues. However, even though it’s copyrighted in 2013, it felt a lot like a “problem novel.” Sandy’s journey is at the core of the story, but some of the plot elements seemed forced and rang false. For example, it didn’t feel realistic for Sandy to be assaulted and begin abusing alcohol on the same day. Also, the disintegration of the friendship between Sandy, Cassie, and Troy was so complete and, at least in regard to Troy, under-motivated that it didn’t feel like a natural development. Finally, the ungendered protagonist seemed like a gimmick without a purpose. Some readers may take comfort in reading about how Sandy works through the issues of assault, alcohol abuse, stealing, friendship, and mental health.
August 24, 2019
A quick read I picked up in the library at my mom's building. It was ok I guess but I have an issue with the sexual assault that happened. If Aaron had one hand over Sandy's mouth and was assaulting him/her with the other hand why was Sandy then not able to use his/her hands to push Aaron off? Don't quite get how that works but it was an ok book.
June 18, 2025
4⭐
Oh my lord... this book had me sucked in one thousand percent of the time. I resonated more with Sandy being a female for sure. I do wish that Sandy reconciled with Troy but, some friendships don't last. I'm glad they (Sandy) created a healthy and happy relationship once again with their parents. I hope they continue to enjoy therapy and making progress with the incident that happened.
Oh my lord... this book had me sucked in one thousand percent of the time. I resonated more with Sandy being a female for sure. I do wish that Sandy reconciled with Troy but, some friendships don't last. I'm glad they (Sandy) created a healthy and happy relationship once again with their parents. I hope they continue to enjoy therapy and making progress with the incident that happened.
July 21, 2020
The author leaves it up to the reader to decide if the main character is male or female. Sexual assault can happen to anybody, and as one of the characters points out: it’s not about sex, it’s about violence and control. Some issues with the writing style, but overall a thought provoking read.
March 24, 2021
The best part about this book is that it shows that a sexual assault victim can be a boy or a girl and that anyone can be the victim. Sandy didn't have pronouns which I LOVED! While reading the book, I started to hate Sandy's friend Callie. She completely dismissed Sandy's plea for help!
October 9, 2020
Meh,
I read this over the summer and forgot to add it to my reading challenge. Lol oops.
I read this over the summer and forgot to add it to my reading challenge. Lol oops.
September 17, 2013
This is an important book. Parents with pre-teens and/or teenagers – buy this book, read it yourself and then pass it along to them to read. I am a mother of a teenager myself and I know that often teens shut their ears and don’t listen to a lot of the wisdom and advice we have to offer. Encourage them to read ‘Maybe I Will’. It covers a lot of vital, important information about sexual assault. Here are just some of the important things I think this book portrays to pre-teens, teenagers and young adults in a sensitive way:
•Sexual assault can be perpetrated by someone your own age, it can be one of your friends, someone you know. It doesn’t have to be a stranger or a creepy neighbour or relative.
•Sexual assault can happen in seconds. It doesn’t have to be what people often think of as a ‘traditional rape’.
•Sexual assault can happen when other people are in the room or nearby and it is possible that those other people may not know anything has happened at all.
•Unfortunately, all sexual assault victims are not believed. Even by their own friends. However, that doesn’t mean it didn’t occur and it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
•Sexual assault victims don’t always report right away. The ultimate important thing is that you share it with someone you trust.
•Sexual assault victims can be of either sex, male or female. Perpetrators can also be of either sex, male or female.
•Pre-teens, teenagers or young adults that are acting out, by drinking or by getting in others types of trouble, are often crying out for help. Parents… if something out of the ordinary is happening with your child – Listen.
•You are not alone. Sexual assault happens to many people. Perpetrators often have many victims. Seeking support from other survivors is an important step in healing.
This book does a really good job at showing the after effects of someone who has been sexually assaulted. The doubt that can creep into one’s mind. Did that really happen? Am I making a big deal about nothing? What will people think if I say anything? Will they believe me? Is it my fault?
I will be passing this book along to my teenager to read, it’s too important an issue to ignore and hope that it simply doesn’t happen to your child because unfortunately – it can.
•Sexual assault can be perpetrated by someone your own age, it can be one of your friends, someone you know. It doesn’t have to be a stranger or a creepy neighbour or relative.
•Sexual assault can happen in seconds. It doesn’t have to be what people often think of as a ‘traditional rape’.
•Sexual assault can happen when other people are in the room or nearby and it is possible that those other people may not know anything has happened at all.
•Unfortunately, all sexual assault victims are not believed. Even by their own friends. However, that doesn’t mean it didn’t occur and it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
•Sexual assault victims don’t always report right away. The ultimate important thing is that you share it with someone you trust.
•Sexual assault victims can be of either sex, male or female. Perpetrators can also be of either sex, male or female.
•Pre-teens, teenagers or young adults that are acting out, by drinking or by getting in others types of trouble, are often crying out for help. Parents… if something out of the ordinary is happening with your child – Listen.
•You are not alone. Sexual assault happens to many people. Perpetrators often have many victims. Seeking support from other survivors is an important step in healing.
This book does a really good job at showing the after effects of someone who has been sexually assaulted. The doubt that can creep into one’s mind. Did that really happen? Am I making a big deal about nothing? What will people think if I say anything? Will they believe me? Is it my fault?
I will be passing this book along to my teenager to read, it’s too important an issue to ignore and hope that it simply doesn’t happen to your child because unfortunately – it can.
July 15, 2014
you can read the review here: www.thereadingpileblog.wordpress.com
Warning: This book discusses mature themes, and so does the review.
My Review:
I have to say this book was very clever. Why? Because it wasn’t until about half way through where I considered that Sandy, wasn’t actually a girl. Which I suppose is kind of the point – it’s not about sex. I took that, originally, to mean that you’re still sexually assaulted even if you’re not raped. So this book was very clever – and I enjoyed it.
I don’t usually read anything that is remotely realistic, because sometimes it’s too easy to relate to them, and that’s not what I always want to do with books. But the more mature realistic novels (ones that deal with tough themes) I’m okay to read – why? Because sometimes these stories have to be read. Because they come with a pinch of truth: like Maybe I Will – it really isn’t about sex. It can happen to anyone.
Maybe I Will is easy to follow, and the point in the story is also very easy to follow – and easy to understand. Which is definitely a must for a realistic novel. The idea is that you almost experience all the emotions along side the character. And Sandy goes through a rollarcoaster of emotions!
I feel as though it’s a very important book, for anyone as a parent especially – because picking up on the fact that something is wrong with your child can make a huge difference (I’m not a parent, but still!). But it’s as equally as important for anyone and everyone else to read it. Points have been made either way for Sandra or Sanford and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter – you pick the gender that makes you comfortable – but how many people would have read the whole thing as Sanford on the first go? I don’t know. This is why it’s important – it does happen to men, perhaps not as much as women, but I don’t know. The point is, it’s almost never discussed and I can’t think of a book where it happens in there.
Tough book, written well. Carefully and deceptively creative! And I love it.
Warning: This book discusses mature themes, and so does the review.
My Review:
I have to say this book was very clever. Why? Because it wasn’t until about half way through where I considered that Sandy, wasn’t actually a girl. Which I suppose is kind of the point – it’s not about sex. I took that, originally, to mean that you’re still sexually assaulted even if you’re not raped. So this book was very clever – and I enjoyed it.
I don’t usually read anything that is remotely realistic, because sometimes it’s too easy to relate to them, and that’s not what I always want to do with books. But the more mature realistic novels (ones that deal with tough themes) I’m okay to read – why? Because sometimes these stories have to be read. Because they come with a pinch of truth: like Maybe I Will – it really isn’t about sex. It can happen to anyone.
Maybe I Will is easy to follow, and the point in the story is also very easy to follow – and easy to understand. Which is definitely a must for a realistic novel. The idea is that you almost experience all the emotions along side the character. And Sandy goes through a rollarcoaster of emotions!
I feel as though it’s a very important book, for anyone as a parent especially – because picking up on the fact that something is wrong with your child can make a huge difference (I’m not a parent, but still!). But it’s as equally as important for anyone and everyone else to read it. Points have been made either way for Sandra or Sanford and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter – you pick the gender that makes you comfortable – but how many people would have read the whole thing as Sanford on the first go? I don’t know. This is why it’s important – it does happen to men, perhaps not as much as women, but I don’t know. The point is, it’s almost never discussed and I can’t think of a book where it happens in there.
Tough book, written well. Carefully and deceptively creative! And I love it.
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