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Summary: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
In this Summary you will discover the main points made by the author, organized chapter by chapter.
In addition valuable references made in the original book will also be included. If you don't have time to read the whole book?
then this Summary is for you!
In addition valuable references made in the original book will also be included. If you don't have time to read the whole book?
then this Summary is for you!
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First published July 25, 2018
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338 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 25, 2019
Ughhh where to begin. This book had some good ideas but the delivery was painful at best. The author comes off as the world biggest douche bro. The parts I enjoyed most were the anecdotes he wove in but when it was just him ranting it was unreadable. I think I’m done with self help books for a while.
December 9, 2019
Ch. 1 Don't Try
* Charles Bukowski was nearly irredeemable but at age 50 got his first book contract. "Don't Try" on his headstone. He was a loser and didn't hide it. Was comfortable with himself as a failure.
* Positive self help focuses on what you lack. Road to a happy life is paved with more. Advertising tells us to try... to give a fuck... but that isn't good for mental health. Give a fuck about less and what is truly important.
* Feedback loop from hell. Angry I'm angry, guilty I'm guilty etc. Being human is having thoughts about thoughts. Consciousness. It's ok to have anxiety, fear, anger etc.
* Save the world by accepting the world is fucked.
* Desire for more positive experience is a negative experience. Acceptance of negative experience is a positive experience.
* Our crisis is existential... first world problems can be underrated.
* Exceptionalism is bullshit... we are all mostly average. Extremes are what is reported on and what we see all the time now.
* People who become great are improvers... they know they aren't great but can improve to be so
* Avoidance of suffering is suffering etc.
* This is not about being indifferent.
* To not care about adversity, one needs something meaningful to strive for.
* Suffer better, lose and let go
Ch. 2 Happiness Is a Problem
* No value in suffering simply for suffering's sake
* Pain teaches us limitations, what's important... it needs to be felt
* Solution to one problem is the beginning of another. Hope for a life full of good problems.
* Emotions are life's markers but they don't need to necessarily be trusted.
* Hedonistic treadmill.. whatever makes us feel good will also make us feel bad. Getting a new house etc. won't fix things.
* What pain do you want in your life... what will you struggle for? Not, what do you want in life...family, love etc .... most everyone has the same answer to the positive question.
* Thought he wanted something (being a rockstar) but turned out he didn't. It wasn't quitting when he stopped trying. It was admitting the truth.
Ch. 3 You Are Not Special
* 60s thought that self esteem was the key to success... 70s the philosophy entered parenting
* No point to feeling good about yourself if you have nothing to feel good about.
* Entitled people have no self-awareness.
Ch. 4 Value of Suffering
* Self-awareness onion... there are lots of layers to it and you'll cry at odd times. First know your emotions, second know why you feel these emotions, third evaluate your personal values
* Most self-help is about short term feeling better.
* Self worth doesn't come from material success, pleasure, being right
* Take responsibility is an important value... be responsible for everything in your life... be responsible for how you respond to life. With great responsibility comes great power. We are dealt cards in life like in poker and must do our best with them. The ones who make the best decisions consistently overcome most often. Victimhood alleviates responsibility (I feel he's reaching here and dangerously walking a line of ignoring the effects of institutional racism)
* Giving up a value with involve doubt, feeling like a failure, and changes in your relationships
Ch. 6 You're Wrong About Everything But So Am I
* It's good to believe you're wrong looking back... means you've grown. We go from wrong to slightly less wrong. Perfection is impossible.
* Search for doubt and feelings. Being certain of something will lead to us not testing our values. What's positive or negative experience... negative can lead to lots of positive... positive can lead to lots of negative.
* We look for meaning. Experiment of buttons and people told what they do will turn a light on scoring a point. But, it's random. People come up with all types of actions and button sequences which led to the lights in their opinion but meant nothing. We have a hard time giving up our meaning.
* Pure certainty is very, very bad.
* Research into evil shows people who do horrible things don't have low self-esteem but think highly of themselves. They believe others are evil.
* Must be open to being wrong to be able to grow.
* Manson's law of avoidance... the more something threatens you the more likely you will not confront it. Can be afraid of success as much as of failure.
* Don't find yourself, never know who you are... keeps you humble.
* Don't think you're special or unique. Define yourself in very simple ways.
* Aristotle - Educated mind can examine a thought without accepting it.
Ch. 7 Failure Is the Way Forward
* Unwilling to fail is being unwilling to succeed
* A simple goal limits you... once it's achieved you are rudderless
* Emotional pain can lead to emotional resilience
* Action is the cause of motivation and not the reverse which is the standard assumption. Do something principle is to simply start by doing something.
Ch. 8 Importance of Saying No
* Achieve meaning through rejection of alternatives... commitments to one place, person etc.
* Healthy love and unhealthy love. Unhealthy push their responsibility off or accept responsibility for partner. Solving others' problems to feel good about yourself is bad. Firestarter (victim) and fire putter outer (saver) are drawn to one another and are bad for one another. Acts of love come without conditions. Need trust in relationship and is what is damaged the most by infidelity.
* We're happier with less - paradox of choice.
* Commitment offers experiences that can't be found anywhere else.
Ch. 9 And Then You Die
* Ernest Becker wrote Denial of Death. We can conceive of our death and it can drive us crazy. We have two selves - physical and conceptual. Physical will go away and conceptual will live on in others and on the sides of buildings (immortality projects which result in all of human history / civilization). Death terror happens when it seems conceptual will go with physical. People should question conceptual self (wars often the result of conceptual selves colliding) and make themselves comfortable with death.
* Fear of death follows from fear of life - Mark Twain If one has lived fully, one is not afraid of dying. Facing death makes one think of one's legacy.
* We have nothing to fear once we accept our own death... I'm not so sure about this one
* Charles Bukowski was nearly irredeemable but at age 50 got his first book contract. "Don't Try" on his headstone. He was a loser and didn't hide it. Was comfortable with himself as a failure.
* Positive self help focuses on what you lack. Road to a happy life is paved with more. Advertising tells us to try... to give a fuck... but that isn't good for mental health. Give a fuck about less and what is truly important.
* Feedback loop from hell. Angry I'm angry, guilty I'm guilty etc. Being human is having thoughts about thoughts. Consciousness. It's ok to have anxiety, fear, anger etc.
* Save the world by accepting the world is fucked.
* Desire for more positive experience is a negative experience. Acceptance of negative experience is a positive experience.
* Our crisis is existential... first world problems can be underrated.
* Exceptionalism is bullshit... we are all mostly average. Extremes are what is reported on and what we see all the time now.
* People who become great are improvers... they know they aren't great but can improve to be so
* Avoidance of suffering is suffering etc.
* This is not about being indifferent.
* To not care about adversity, one needs something meaningful to strive for.
* Suffer better, lose and let go
Ch. 2 Happiness Is a Problem
* No value in suffering simply for suffering's sake
* Pain teaches us limitations, what's important... it needs to be felt
* Solution to one problem is the beginning of another. Hope for a life full of good problems.
* Emotions are life's markers but they don't need to necessarily be trusted.
* Hedonistic treadmill.. whatever makes us feel good will also make us feel bad. Getting a new house etc. won't fix things.
* What pain do you want in your life... what will you struggle for? Not, what do you want in life...family, love etc .... most everyone has the same answer to the positive question.
* Thought he wanted something (being a rockstar) but turned out he didn't. It wasn't quitting when he stopped trying. It was admitting the truth.
Ch. 3 You Are Not Special
* 60s thought that self esteem was the key to success... 70s the philosophy entered parenting
* No point to feeling good about yourself if you have nothing to feel good about.
* Entitled people have no self-awareness.
Ch. 4 Value of Suffering
* Self-awareness onion... there are lots of layers to it and you'll cry at odd times. First know your emotions, second know why you feel these emotions, third evaluate your personal values
* Most self-help is about short term feeling better.
* Self worth doesn't come from material success, pleasure, being right
* Take responsibility is an important value... be responsible for everything in your life... be responsible for how you respond to life. With great responsibility comes great power. We are dealt cards in life like in poker and must do our best with them. The ones who make the best decisions consistently overcome most often. Victimhood alleviates responsibility (I feel he's reaching here and dangerously walking a line of ignoring the effects of institutional racism)
* Giving up a value with involve doubt, feeling like a failure, and changes in your relationships
Ch. 6 You're Wrong About Everything But So Am I
* It's good to believe you're wrong looking back... means you've grown. We go from wrong to slightly less wrong. Perfection is impossible.
* Search for doubt and feelings. Being certain of something will lead to us not testing our values. What's positive or negative experience... negative can lead to lots of positive... positive can lead to lots of negative.
* We look for meaning. Experiment of buttons and people told what they do will turn a light on scoring a point. But, it's random. People come up with all types of actions and button sequences which led to the lights in their opinion but meant nothing. We have a hard time giving up our meaning.
* Pure certainty is very, very bad.
* Research into evil shows people who do horrible things don't have low self-esteem but think highly of themselves. They believe others are evil.
* Must be open to being wrong to be able to grow.
* Manson's law of avoidance... the more something threatens you the more likely you will not confront it. Can be afraid of success as much as of failure.
* Don't find yourself, never know who you are... keeps you humble.
* Don't think you're special or unique. Define yourself in very simple ways.
* Aristotle - Educated mind can examine a thought without accepting it.
Ch. 7 Failure Is the Way Forward
* Unwilling to fail is being unwilling to succeed
* A simple goal limits you... once it's achieved you are rudderless
* Emotional pain can lead to emotional resilience
* Action is the cause of motivation and not the reverse which is the standard assumption. Do something principle is to simply start by doing something.
Ch. 8 Importance of Saying No
* Achieve meaning through rejection of alternatives... commitments to one place, person etc.
* Healthy love and unhealthy love. Unhealthy push their responsibility off or accept responsibility for partner. Solving others' problems to feel good about yourself is bad. Firestarter (victim) and fire putter outer (saver) are drawn to one another and are bad for one another. Acts of love come without conditions. Need trust in relationship and is what is damaged the most by infidelity.
* We're happier with less - paradox of choice.
* Commitment offers experiences that can't be found anywhere else.
Ch. 9 And Then You Die
* Ernest Becker wrote Denial of Death. We can conceive of our death and it can drive us crazy. We have two selves - physical and conceptual. Physical will go away and conceptual will live on in others and on the sides of buildings (immortality projects which result in all of human history / civilization). Death terror happens when it seems conceptual will go with physical. People should question conceptual self (wars often the result of conceptual selves colliding) and make themselves comfortable with death.
* Fear of death follows from fear of life - Mark Twain If one has lived fully, one is not afraid of dying. Facing death makes one think of one's legacy.
* We have nothing to fear once we accept our own death... I'm not so sure about this one
December 25, 2019
I thought this book was amazing. Easy to read and accessible to a wide audience. For me, I was struggling with giving too much thought to the opinions of others and I was allowing it to negatively impact my life. This book has helped me to consider life differently and the principles that are truly important. My main take-away from this book is that happiness comes from solving problems and so I should pursue the negative.
March 15, 2022
Fun read. Super casual and dry tone. Don't agree with it all, but definitely a useful way to frame privilege and entitlement, to accept our mediocrity and know that it is ok. We can't all win, all the time.
November 25, 2019
If you're one of those who care too much, about too many things; get mentally drained thinking about ifs and buts, this book will be a game-changer for you! Although several of the aspects outlined in the book might be known to us in one form or the other, the impact of seeing it in a concrete form (on paper), helps in distilling several of our wavering priorities.
April 16, 2020
I read reviews of this book before I actually picked up the book, so I was prepared for Manson's take on life through the lens of someone very privileged and was able to pick out a few useful nuggets. A few. His thin attempts at self-criticism and humility were incredibly transparent and reeked of humble-bragging. But the thing that really stuck out to me throughout this entire book is his disregard for women. Manson makes a consistent effort to convince us of all the lovers he's had, but I don't think he ever had a real conversation with any of them, given his portrayal of women and his belief that all women care about is what the men in their lives think of them. I listened to the audiobook; Manson read it himself and I wanted to shake him for the whiny voice he used for all female voices. He says he loves and respects the women in his life, but his actions say otherwise. I feel really bad for his wife.
February 27, 2020
I really don't know what to make of this book. I didn't realise until I started reading it that it's a 'self-help' book, the kind of thing I usually avoid like the Corona Virus. I think I got suckered in by the title. This is not a particularly well written book. Its overuse of the word 'fuck', I found irritating, even though the clue's in the title. It's overly long and conveys a message that could just as easily have been conveyed in a book half its length. But at the heart of it lies some very important ideas and the author makes some very good points throughout. But that said, it's very idealistic and expresses ideas that go completely against the human psyche. I wonder how many people have read this book and changed their lives accordingly? Still, if you like this kind of thing, I think it's an interesting book.
November 24, 2019
War ganz interessant, aber oft eben einfach Dinge, die man eigentlich schon weiß in nette Anekdoten verpackt.
Da ich einer dieser Menschen bin, die ständig zu viele Fucks auf alles geben, hat es trotzdem mal wieder gut getan, daran erinnert zu werden, wie wichtig es ist, auch emotional Prioritäten zu setzen und dass manche Dinge den ganzen Stress überhaupt nicht verdient haben.
3,5 Sterne von mir.
(Und ich weiß, es ist unfair, dass ich manchen Büchern bei 3,5 Sternen vier und manchen drei gebe, aber wenn ich immer 4 gebe, ist meine Goodreads Statistik am Ende des Jahres viel besser als sie es eigentlich verdient hat aaaaaah versteht ihr mein Problem?!?! wir brauche
n endlich die Möglichkeit, halbe Sterne zu vergeben)
Da ich einer dieser Menschen bin, die ständig zu viele Fucks auf alles geben, hat es trotzdem mal wieder gut getan, daran erinnert zu werden, wie wichtig es ist, auch emotional Prioritäten zu setzen und dass manche Dinge den ganzen Stress überhaupt nicht verdient haben.
3,5 Sterne von mir.
(Und ich weiß, es ist unfair, dass ich manchen Büchern bei 3,5 Sternen vier und manchen drei gebe, aber wenn ich immer 4 gebe, ist meine Goodreads Statistik am Ende des Jahres viel besser als sie es eigentlich verdient hat aaaaaah versteht ihr mein Problem?!?! wir brauche
n endlich die Möglichkeit, halbe Sterne zu vergeben)
Read
January 26, 2020Think positive and positive things will happen. How many variations of this advice have you heard? Has it worked?
“Fuck positivity,” said Mark Manson, a blogger and author of self-help novel The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. “Let’s be honest, shit is fucked and we have to live with it.”
Perhaps crassly put, but Manson hit the nail on the head with this insight which is the overarching theme of TSANGF. As a society, many of us are prone to sugarcoating the harsh realities of life. For our friends, our family, and even ourselves. We tell ourselves to chin up, to give off good vibes and work hard to be, and do, better.
Continue reading our review here: https://thetempest.co/2019/09/13/ente...
“Fuck positivity,” said Mark Manson, a blogger and author of self-help novel The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. “Let’s be honest, shit is fucked and we have to live with it.”
Perhaps crassly put, but Manson hit the nail on the head with this insight which is the overarching theme of TSANGF. As a society, many of us are prone to sugarcoating the harsh realities of life. For our friends, our family, and even ourselves. We tell ourselves to chin up, to give off good vibes and work hard to be, and do, better.
Continue reading our review here: https://thetempest.co/2019/09/13/ente...
November 25, 2019
Catchy though the title is, the more appropriate description would be 'closing doors' on things you don't want to do while 'giving a f*ck' about things you really care about. A decent, light read - would recommend to younger office colleagues, who for the first time have started being a decade younger than me!
January 12, 2020
Kind of cheated and actually listened to the audio book, however loved this book some very good points made my favourite chapter was the end one you are all going to die, ours everything into perspective.
March 30, 2022
I'll save this is one my favorite book in 2022! It makes a lot of sense and it help my confident grew up and get stuff done without minding the niaiser! Mark really help me with my confident! 5/5 book! will recommend it!
December 24, 2019
Good but written for a younger generation. Didn't need all the cussing to make the connections. I did like it though.
January 18, 2020
Its nice to realise that I've maybe learnt the subtle art of not giving a f*uck just by living life the way I like to live it. A good read (listen), he has a lot of wise things to say.
March 29, 2020
Zen Buddhism for Guys was the title not chosen.
Read
June 10, 2021Life and hole perspective changing book. So easily reading book, so deep influence. Must read for everyone who want to live life for themselves.
July 25, 2023
Super sick!
August 24, 2022
Can I give it a zero?
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews