Four and a half stars for me. Before I get into my thoughts on the book, I feel like I need to explain some background of what got me interested in reading it.
The current political scene in America is beyond frustrating to me. I cannot stand the big news outlets such as Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC, and I also am annoyed by the social media takeover of the left vs the right. Everytime anything ‘big’ (election, new bill, a shooting, something said by a political leader, a scandal, etc.) happens, people attack others and attempt to justify their political positions.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I not a confrontational person. In any group situation, I tend be very sensitive to how others around me are feeling and I try to make others feel comfortable. In some ways this is a strength (helping others feel included), and in some ways it is a weakness (sometimes people being bold and upfront is not always malicious and can be a good thing). At work, I have been surrounded by some very vocal political coworkers - both republican and democrat. I never take part in their debates because their conversations seem useless - it is blatantly clear that they are not interested in hearing what the other has to say, they simply want to persuade and justify their position. In other words, no amount of evidence would persuade the other, they have decided what they believe and nothing will change that. One coworker, I’ll call him Bob, a very vocal, (and funny), outspoken guy who leans heavily democratic, asked me about my opinion on an incident he had on a recent business trip. He explained how he and another worker from a different group were in Atlanta at a hotel and were ready to take their bags up to their rooms. Bob is white but the coworker with him was black and the bell-boy offered to take Bob’s (and apparently not his black coworkers’ ) bags up to the room. Bob was telling me this and said - ‘Can you believe that?’ I then asked very honestly “Did the bell-boy not take your coworkers bags up because he is black?” I assumed that was what he was implying but I just wanted to get the facts straight because if that is the case, that is terrible and that is racist. Bob then looked clearly annoyed at me and said in a strong tone “Of course it was because he was black, why else would it be?!” I was taken back by how Bob was talking at this point and I quickly said “Oh I assumed that is what you meant but didn’t know if you had finished the story yet. If the bell-boy didn’t take his bags because he was black, then that is terrible, his manager should be alerted to this” but Bob was clearly mad that I didn’t immediately see his point of view. He then started asking me about my opinions about white privilege the government’s responsibilities about taking care of the poor. I told him that I don’t love talking about this stuff at work (in fact I actually think that we aren’t supposed to) as I feel that people often attack each other and do not listen to actual policy ideas. I could tell he really wanted to get into a discussion and was bugged that I wasn’t willing to participate. Later at lunch, he started going off again about how republicans and conservatives (I think some big event in the news had just happened or something) are often racist and anti-women or something and then he said “I honestly think that anyone who voted for Trump is immoral”. I don’t know what it was, but it lite something in me and I spoke up. I said “Bob, this type of rhetoric stifles any useful conversation that could be had. When you openly judge and classify a whole group of people, no one wants to speak up!” I went on for awhile about how I know many people that voted for Trump, not because they like Trump, but because they wanted a republican in office and hoped for more conservative leaders. I explained how it was a binary decision with plenty of nuance and it was foolish to treat it any other way. He then retorted “You are just like my white family who all voted for Trump” - clearly insinuating that I too voted for Trump. I quickly spoke back explaining that I had barely had any conversations with him since my time at my job (we work on completely separate projects) and then here he was saying he knew who I was - it was beyond frustrating. I told him that he didn’t have a clue what I think politically and that no, I did not in fact vote for Trump (but it shouldn’t of mattered if I did). Long story short, he did apologize and I had numerous coworkers come up to me in private saying that they really appreciated what I had said.
That one incident gave me my first real glimpse of why Trump won. I am not saying he should have, but after this conversation, I too felt glad Trump won. I was annoyed that I was being categorized by someone who didn’t know me from Adam in a negative light and it made me happy his ‘team’ had lost the last election. I have since calmed down and realized that me feeling anger and resentment would not help anything and Trump has continued to be himself which has further led me to strongly dislike him.
This book explains the current political scene in America. Amy Chua is a professor at Yale and has written multiple books/papers on ethnic conflict, particularly about other countries, and she explains how all of us are tribal. We all like to belong to a group and we often defend our groups ruthlessly. In most cases it doesn’t really matter (sports for instance) but it is dangerous when we start seeing the other side as immoral and almost less than human. Both the left and the right are guilty of this. About half of the book is about America’s ‘failed’ (her words, not mine) foreign policy attempts in Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Venezuela and how the main reason they failed was because the US did not take into account the tribal nature the country. Those chapters were only a little interesting to me and were not nearly as fascinating as the chapters about America (the beginning and ending portions of the book). In those chapters I felt like she was spot on. I also appreciated her optimism about possible ways to make things better in America, such as simply talking to other people and getting to know them before making a political judgement about them. One issue with social media is that we hide behind computers and spout words at each other which completely separates us from having real conversations with humans in person.
I feel like this book, as well as “The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided on Politics and Religion” are important books for our day. Of course there are probably hundreds of others I should read. I already have given out “The Righteous Mind” to multiple people because it makes me feel better knowing others have read it. I will likely be doing the same for Amy Chua’s book.