A Mom's Guide to Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free

by Dannah Gresh, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth (Foreword)

You can’t change the world, but you can prepare her for it.

Your daughter is facing challenges you never dealt with at her age! From skyrocketing anxiety rates to bullying on social media, the Enemy’s lies are everywhere. How do you help the girl you love walk in freedom?

Mom’s Guide to Lies Girls Believe, the companion book to Lies Girls Believe is your tool to come alongside your daughter in the fight against the lies the world is telling her. Based on in-depth research and focus groups led by Dannah Gresh, author of Secret Keeper Girl and Lies Young Women Believe (Coauthored with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth,) Lies Girls Believe teaches your daughter the Truth she will need to navigate the challenges she is facing. The Mom’s Guide provides research, cultural trends, and case studies about the problems tween girls face, but also offers encouragement and biblical insight to empower you to talk with your daughter about God’s truth.

Together, these books give you the tools you need to start important conversations at an age-appropriate pace. Topics include:


Lies about God
Lies about Friendship
Lies about the Future
Lies about Myself 
Lies about Boys

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Faith, Unfinished, Religion, Family, Christian Living

240 pages, Paperback

Published February 5, 2019

About the author

Dannah Gresh, a mother/daughter communication coach, has sold well over three quarters of a million copies of her books—including And the Bride Wore White and 2008's best-selling CBA youth book, Lies Young Women Believe (coauthored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss)—making her one of the most successful Christian authors targeting teens and preteens. With the belief that today's culture has been seeking to rob little girls of their innocence, Dannah has been fighting on the front lines to protect them. Her fun line of Secret Keeper Girl mom/preteen daughter connecting resources and live events that tour the country provide moms with just the right tools to fight back. She has long been at the forefront of the movement to encourage both tweens and teens to pursue purity and is often called upon to defend the conservative position of abstinence in national news media like USA Today, Time, Chicago Tribune, and Women's Wear Daily. She is also a frequent contributor to FamilyLife Today, Midday Connection, and Focus on the Family. Dannah lives in State College, Pennsylvania, with her husband, Bob, and their children, Robby, Lexi, and Autumn, whom the family adopted from China in 2007. She and her husband founded Grace Prep, a new model in Christian high school education, which Bob administrates. She is shamelessly in love with her labradoodle, Stormie. (DannahGresh.com)

Reviews

[Angela Henderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish this book. There are lots of bits that are good but the chapter that ruined it for me is the one on periods. As someone who struggled with grade 4 endometriosis I have a real problem with comments like “Something that has helped me respond well to my period is remembering that God wants us to do “everything” without “complaining.” That includes getting your period.” I am not saying there should be scaremongering for girls, as, as we all know not everyone has painful periods/endometriosis, but talk about putting shame on a girl if she has painful periods and struggles to see the why when she gets her period that she has pain so bad she can’t walk and has to go to ED as pain relief doesn’t touch it. To say “I find that anything hard becomes easier when I am thankful. Why not try telling God thanks for making you a girl instead of being nervous about your period? It’s coming one way or another. You might as well have a good attitude about it.” As a grown woman it’s hard to reconcile the ‘why’ in a situation like this, let alone a teenager who is beginning her period and working through what that means. Saying something along the lines ‘if it is painful, ask your mum to take you to a doctor’ would’ve improved this section for starters. Every time I think about this chapter it makes my blood boil...

[Jenae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did this study in a mother-daughter group and it was great!

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter loved going through this book with some of her friends over the summer and I loved having the mom companion. The lies were age appropriate and the truths clearly explained. Lots of Bible verses and space to write notes. I loved how the mom companion gave additional case studies and research to show moms why these lies are so dangerous. It was also great to have the pages from the daughter's book in the mom's book, so easy to see what she was reading and learning.
We chose to skip the chapters on body and boys until a little later but there was nothing explicit or graphic about them. I just didn't feel my daughter was in a place to completely understand it yet. Probably next summer we'll come back to those. I'm so thankful for good resources that help mom and daughter grow together in Christ and give moms tools to disciple their daughters. I highly recommend if you daughter is 8-13.

[Dee/ bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

I requested this book because I was hoping to have a tool to use that would tell how one person dealt with issues like cheating boys, smooth boys, the influence of the social media and how it effects kids, stuff like that. However, I felt like some of the issues brought forth were blown up or an issue in general not something that supports the title of the book and the belief of that book working for parents when they pick it up.
I also felt that instead of advice I got preached at. And like all sermons you don't always feel inspired, sometimes you feel worse when they are over.

I received an advanced reader copy in exchange for a fair review.

[DD · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Dannah's books for Mom and girls. This book has been such a helpful companion guide to my daughter's book. What I like is that you can read the chapters out of order. So when my daughter was dealing with a friendship issue we skipped ahead in the book to that chapter. It is like an encyclopedia to target the lies that girls believe!

[Shonda Knowlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to be done as a Bible study with their tween girl. This book gives so much insight and helps facilitate discussion with the daughter about very important topics. Girls need to know God's truth and learn to live by it. Moms can be the catalyst of guiding their daughters in this truth as they, too, learn to live in God's truth.

[Anne Ahrens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and going through it with my pre-teen daughter.

[LA · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the companion guide to Lies Girls Believe, a book I reviewed late last year.
I am impressed with the quality of writing, and the issues that are tackled for mothers of girls aged 8 through 12. Plenty of Scripture is given refuting lies that we believe about ourselves, family or those around us. These lies are put into context for 8-12 year olds. Dannah includes in her narrative for mothers, statistics and results of questionnaires she has conducted through seminars. Some of the results are surprising and helpful in trying to understand the kind of pressures our daughters are facing in this day and age.
The chapters are ordered in the same manner as the guide for girls. This book includes leading questions you can use to discuss what your daughter is learning in her own book, and gives tips on what to focus on (although they are loose guidelines to get you started in conversing about the lies).
It addresses lies Moms believe about their own daughters too (i.e. my daughter is not at risk like other girls) which I think is helpful, but also kind of hits you over the head.
I appreciated the section on confronting sin for what it is but also providing comfort to her when she recognizes it for what it is.
QUOTE: “Comforting your daughter when she has believed a lie and acted on it is not spoiling her. It includes getting to the root of why she sinned and preventing her from repeating it.”
This follows the philosophy that sin issues are heart issues, and that a parent needs to help the child identify the heart issue, confront it, repent of it, and grow in God’s Truth.
Sections are included for Moms to have a personal devotional time at the end of each chapter, and a study Moms and daughters can do together. Page numbers are given to the Moms for the corresponding text in the daughter book.
I received an ecopy from the publisher through Net Galley. All opinions expressed are my own.

[Sarah Greene · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5-3ish. see review on the girls book. Some things about this are helpful, some not so much. There are some chapters where there is just a lot to be desired theologically but if you are able to fill in the gaps, it may be a good resource.

[Shannon Holmes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good resource for younger girls. I was hoping it was something I could use with my older daughter, but it seemed a bit juvenile for her age range. This would be a great ministry tool for anyone that deals with preteen girls.

[Kinzie Moffitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! I highly recommend this study for moms and tween girls to do together, my daughter wants to do more studies together and is in the Word on her own.

[Lindsay Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great audiobook guide to help me prepare to go through Lies Girls Believe with my daughter. Well written and Biblically-solid.

[Lydia Howe · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHY I CHOOSE THIS BOOK

I really don't remember what made me choose to request this book for review, but I'm glad I did.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mom, therefore I'm not the target audience, so my thoughts are more subjective than the average reviewer. 

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BOOK

I started this book on a Wednesday night, just after having a conversation with one of my tween friends at church. The conversation included her showing me her Instagram and breaking into a happy dance because her crush had voted on her story. It saddened me to see a girl - who should still be enjoying the simplicity of childhood - being wrapped up in the drama of social media. 

Then I came home and began reading this book and cheered for it on nearly every single page. Y'all. This book is full of gold. 

The book itself is bright, cheery, reminiscent of childhood, colorful, and interactive. It was late at night when I opened the pages, but it was so interesting I kept reading, and reading, and reading, even though I had only planned to read the first few pages. Two days later and I've finished the book. 

This book is supposed to be read at the same time your daughter is reading Lies Girls Believe. In fact, this book includes a lot of the pages from the Lies Girls Believe, while giving the mom ideas of how to have good conversations with their daughters, as well as helping the mom see how she can model the various truths taught. 

In addition to being full of truth, this book was also very interesting and kept me engaged as I read. It quoted the Bible a lot (in a different color and font which was pretty cool), added statistics, case study stories, and facts. If I had a tween daughter this is most definitely a book I'd want to go through with her. 

There are twenty lies in the book, along with twenty truths to combat them. These lies/truths include a wide range of topics, from how to see God correctly, to body image, to bullying, to social media, to what it's like to be a girl (exploring topics like periods, etc...). The book covers tons of territory in just over two hundred pages and I was very impressed. 

CONCLUSION

Y'all. This book was truly fantastic. Tweens these days are bombarded by so many lies, and the best time to teach them truths is right now. I highly applaud the authors of this book, as well as the publishers to work at getting this important message out into the world. 

RATING

I’m giving A Mom's Guide to Lies Girls Believe five out of five stars – Moody Publishers was very kind to send me a copy of this book so I could review it. 

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this. My 11 1/2 year old daughter read Lies Girls Believe alongside. In hindsight, we should have read these books together last year. Oftentimes, I end up underestimating my child’s maturity level and there were a few sections that were a bit too juvenile or non-applicable for my daughter. While this book does cover topics such as gender, boys, and a woman’s cycle, it is written with taste and for a specific age group.

[Tesha Ham · Rating 2 out of 5]

Warning and disclaimer: Some quotes and a very negative with positive points review ahead.

I went into this book hoping to find advice on raising my daughter to be strong and confident in a world that is full of pressures and judgement, hoping that this and the book written for girls would be useful. I did know from the description that it would have some part about the Christian faith, which I do not personally belong to but am understanding and accepting of as we all have our own beliefs and paths in life. I have read many Christian books that offer good advice for people of all faiths and religions on things we all encounter that I could recommend to friends and family of other religions. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM!

You can get some good advice out of this book if you yourself are not a highly conservative Christian, however the entire book will preach while teaching you the few tidbits of good things useful to those outside of Christianity. It is a book full of preaching. "Godly parents do sometimes end up with ungodly children...They tell me they were intentional to plant Truth, as they were to teach body care or nurture extra-curricular interests....These parents now fervently pray as they wait for God to rescue their adult daughter..." (Page 12) This is how you enter the book. The author tells readers that not having a life fully devoted to God will cause people to pray for your rescue, because your life has been destroyed and you need to be saved from your wrongs. Rather than say that a life in which someone practices a religion regularly and treats everyone correctly is a good way to live, it shuns anyone who is not 100% invested in the Christian faith.

"I so want you to concentrate on the beauty that matters most: your heart." (Page 79) I personally enjoyed this part, because that is what matters. You on the inside are what is most important and that is so critical for young girls to understand. But the next sentence: "You become the most beautiful to God when you get excited about wearing things like kindness..." (Page 79) returns to something I wish wasn't pushed. The chapter about girls finding their true beauty is not for the sake of them seeing themselves as who they are and feeling proud, but being beautiful enough to be by God's side. I would rather my daughter know that she doesn't need to be proud of herself on the inside for the sake of a higher power, or anyone other person for that matter, but for HERSELF. Then, beginning on page 167 the author tells readers that girls should not do what they want to do in life, career wise, but instead find what God wants them to do and encourages girls to believe that they must be a wife and mom because that is what they were made for, Adam's companionship. Many girls and women have decided to not be married and that is PERFECTLY FINE, but this author will tell you otherwise.
If your daughter is part of the LGBTQ+ community, I highly recommend avoiding this book.

If you are a highly conservative Christian, I do believe this book will be wonderful for you, and if you are someone who is not religious or of a different religion but are willing to sift through the preachy parts, this book has some great advice in a few of the chapters. However I would overall not tell people to read this book when there are many others with similar ideas out there that present to people of all religions, beliefs, and walks of life.

I received a free ARC copy of this title through NetGalley in exchange for a review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Becca Rae · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the end of March I shared my review for the companion to this book, Lies Girl Believe. As a youth leader in my church I was hoping to find a book that would be helpful yet age appropriate for discussing tough topics with the tweens in our middle school youth group. Our girls range from homeschool to public school with significantly different levels of knowledge on mature content. I consider the book to be a great resource for them.

This book shares most of the same content with some differences between the two. This book contains the “Truth and Lies” chapters with sidebar notes to help moms find discussion questions and jot their own notes down. The First and last few chapters focus more on talking directly to moms (with the other book sharing directly to young girls).

If you know me, you may wonder why I chose to pick up a book for moms when I don’t have any kids of my own, and the reason is that I was hoping to see if it could be useful for youth leaders as well. While it is clearly marketed for moms, I feel that a lot of the content could still be used by other women who are role models for young girls in different capacities. To be honest, as a young girl I would have been more comfortable talking with a youth leader than I would with my mom. Each girl is different, and each family dynamic is unique.

"Most of Today’s tween girl suffer on what is called a spectrum of angst. It’s not a matter of if they will struggle–with depression, anxiety, fear, loneliness, and anger–but how much."

We can’t ignore that there are major struggles that young girls are dealing with in today’s world, and everything going on in the media only adds to it. Young girls are desperate for help whether they voice it or act it. We can’t give them the solid advice they need on our own without the wisdom and help we find through God’s word and constant prayer.

I consider this a solid and much needed resource. I highly recommend not only to moms, but youth leaders and other women who interact with young girls regularly. Satan is going after the youth hardcore, but God is bigger and mightier and we need to look to Him for our help.

*I received a copy of this book through Moody Publishers. Thoughts and opinions expressed are mine alone.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A companion book to Lies Girls Believe, this guide provides statistics, advice, and examples for moms as they guide their daughters through the pre-teen and early teen years. Author Dannah Gresh does a good job of addressing the issues pre-teen girls face and gives moms talking points for opening up the conversation.

I had mixed feelings about this book. I loved that both this book and Lies Girls Believe stuck to age appropriate issues without addressing behaviors that were too much too soon. And I appreciated the fact that while these topics aren't those that we talk about every day, most of them cut to the heart of the issue. My hesitation comes from the fact that the guide just felt like extra to me. Between the ages of 9-12 years old, most of us still have an open relationship with our daughters and I didn't feel that this guide really added anything to the original book. I really think that Lies Girls Believe could be used on its own, along side with honest conversations.

*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[Rachel Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

My daughter and I did this mom/ daughter book study along with the live online teaching sessions. It was a fun activity to do together and the hosts had some great ways of making it more exciting- like encouraging a theme for each week and fun snacks.

There were some great parts to this book, and for some kids, this is probably a great tool for them to use alongside a trusted woman in their life. For us, the conversations just weren’t ready to happen yet, and some of the questions felt too scripted. My daughter really enjoyed the Zoey character - I think that was probably the best part of the study.

I come from a “purity culture” and very conservative background, so I’m probably extra sensitive to the way some of the topics were addressed. Many of the “lies” were good things to examine, but I wasn’t a fan of all of them.

My takeaway is to use the good tools that apply to you and your daughter but feel free to leave behind what doesn’t fit or what might be triggering to you.

I think doing a study on what it looks like to be a girl (or anyone) who follows Jesus without focusing on some of the externals would be beneficial.

[Lilybeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as part of a small group with my daughter.
The content is very powerful and inspiring.
However, my daughter is 14 years old and some of the content is a little "young" for her.
The age range should be better specified or maybe my church misclassified the group as middle school when really it should be age-specific. This series is best suited for girls ages 10-12.

This specific book is a companion to the girls book (Lies Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free).
The topics are relevant and handled with love and grace.
Really great conversation starters and insight into your girl's world.
I highly recommend this for moms and daughters, especially those that have a hard time broaching tough subjects.
Thankfully, my daughter and I are very close so the book served as a resource for deeper conversation.

[Sadie Newell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

...okay. I wanted to read this book because I thought (due to the title) that it would be about lies girls hear- how boys perceive them, the media influences everything, body image, sex etc. What I wasn’t expecting was a book deeply rooted in faith.

LET ME BE CLEAR: just because I wasn’t expecting it was this book two stars. My issue with the book is that each chapter was the same with a different type of story- self harm, oral sex, Instagram, clueless moms, lesbian/gay relations (in a negative context which come on, it’s 2018).

I really wanted to read a book that empowered, uplifted and made me feel like I could discuss society and hard topics with my daughter when the time is right. Instead I got an overly preachy book. Some people will love this book- these people also believe that there is only one way the world will work and I’m just not that person.

[Stacia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd give this 4.5 stars if I could.

I read both Mom's Guide and the book Lies Girls Believe (the first three and last three chapters are different, while the middle eight chapters of Lies Girls Believe is imbedded in the Mom's Guide.)

Gresh is not reformed and so there are a handful of sentences in the book that I disagreed with. However, this was an EXCELLENT opportunity to talk to my daughter about how to be discerning when we're reading books, even books by authors we trust!

With that said, the books were AWESOME! There is so much good stuff in the books and teaching my tween to recognize lies and replace them with truths is a definite win! We read through the books over a 6 week period and would go on a mommy-daughter date to discuss what we read. We had amazing conversations that I hope will lead to an openness in our relationship as she gets older. I highly recommend this book to other moms with tweens!

[Kathleen Garber · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the most part, the mom’s guide follows along with the girls’ guide and includes common lies and the truths that cancel those lies out. However case studies are included of real girls who have been dealing with some problems so you can see how important it is to help your daughter see these lies for what they are.

At the end of each chapter is a spot to write a prayer to God and a suggestion to discuss the chapter with your daughter after she has read it. Also just like the girl’s guide includes statistics of what girls believe, the mom’s guide includes statistics of what mom’s believe (such as 80% of moms were less concerned about their own daughters than other girls.)

I highly recommend both the girls and mom’s guides to be used together with your tween daughters.

I received a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as a companion to the book Lies Girls Believe that we are reading and working through together. Initially I was not intending to read this book - wondering at its necessity to have the convos with my daughter.

I think, in some ways, this was helpful - the journaling prompts with scripture to prepare you for the convos with your daughters, extra statistics and background info, but I also think that I could have managed without this book. I was able to borrow it from the library, so it was no loss and some benefit, even probably. But had it come to purchasing it, I'm not sure I would have spent the money.

Great truths, important conversations. This journey of identifying lies, their source and replacing them with the truth from God's word is a lifelong journey and one I'm glad my daughter had the chance to begin working on now as a teen.

[Elisha Blade · Rating 5 out of 5]

So my daughter and I went to a True girl event and got these books. We didn’t make time to read them until this summer. And while I can see we probably should have read them sooner, it was God’s timing because everything she went through and is about to go through is covered. It was such a blessing to do this with my daughter this summer and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend time with her; but in His word. This goes over everything from mean girls, to maturity and even social media. It was a perfect way to open up chat about what’s going on in my little, not so little girls life. If you are looking for a way to have deeper conversations with your 7-12 year old daughter this is the book for you two

[Lindsay Jacobs · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this Mom’s Guide wasn’t essential to working through my daughter’s version, I’m so grateful I decided to get it! There are tips and ideas for enhancing conversations with your daughter that I’ve found hugely helpful. But also, Dannah challenges you as the mother. She addresses lies that we as mom’s may be believing and reminds us to ask ourselves the tough questions, too. She guides you in writing out specific, Scripture-based prayers for your daughter based on what she’s learning in her own book. It’s a wonderful companion to Lies Girls Believe and I will be recommending both books to all of my mom friends for years to come!

[Ember · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in its entirety before going thru it with my preteen. She & I are now reading it & discussing together.

There are a few topics in this that I could do without, but all in all I'm pretty impressed. The fonts are fun for my preteen. She thoroughly enjoys Journaling in it. This has been helpful for me to discuss the journey into teen life, boundaries & what exactly our rules are & why with her. Each chapter discusses a different topic that kids of today are faced with & encourages her to be open & honest with me. It also helps her to realize that she's not the only kids with parents with boundaries.

[Aimee Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this and having conversations with my girls while they read the companion book for girls. At times I found the format a bit odd. The middle chapters of the mom's guide include the entire contents of the daughter's book, but the early and late chapters do not. I think it would have been helpful to include the entire contents of the daughter's book in all of the chapters of the mom's book. I found we had longer, more thorough conversations discussing the chapters where I was able to read the same content.

[Jenna Lupse · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing devotional to read along with your tween. My daughter and I thoroughly enjoyed this. It brought great convo and talks about tough topics that she is dealing with. I loved seeing how my daughters heart opened up and was eager to learn more about truth and being able discern lies from the enemy. So grateful for this devotional and how it naturally encouraged open and honest conversation between us.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughters and I read through this together in companion with their version of Lies Girls Believe and Lies Young Women Believe. It is such a well thought out book and really gets you to be able to talk to your girls about what they are feeling and the lies that are coming out in ways you might not have expected to hear from them. Highly recommend this book!

[Rachel Hillman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for every mother/daughter! In my opinion for age 11 and up but you don't want to wait too long or their little hearts will already have formed a worldview on many of the topics discussed. Excellent resource for raising daughters who love the Lord.