Start with the Heart: How to Motivate Your Kids to Be Compassionate, Responsible, and Brave

by Kathy Koch

Parenting strategies you can be proud of You know the feeling. You got frustrated, desperate, or overwhelmed and you reacted before you could think it through. Whether it’s a one-time thing or it becomes a habit, we all parent in ways we don’t like. But it doesn’t have to continue. Whether it’s bribery, yelling, counting to three, or threats of punishment you didn’t mean to make, reacting never feels good. But if you can learn to act with intentionality, you’ll feel better about your choices and be grateful for the results. Dr. Kathy Koch (pronounced “cook”), author of Screens and Teens and 8 Great Smarts , will teach you proven strategies for training your child’s heart and parenting in a way that honors God. She’ll help you move your child from, “I can’t, I won’t," to “I can, I will, and I did.” We can do better than “Because I said so.” or “No screen time for 3 days.” We can do better than mere behavior modification. We can change our children’s hearts and teach them to do what is good, godly, and right even when we’re not around. Once you’ve learned to put these motivation strategies in place there’s no more need to nag, you’ll be astounded at what your kids will do without being asked. Dr. Kathy doesn’t offer a quick-fix. Starting with the heart is all about changing what children believe in order to change their behavior. And learning to use this kind of motivation takes effort, consistency, and strategy, but it works. And it’s never too late! If you’re willing to commit to a little hard work up front, you’ll enjoy your kids, your life, and yourself much more when you learn to start with the heart.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Family, Faith, Psychology

288 pages, Paperback

Published March 5, 2019

About the author

DR. KATHY KOCH is the Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc., a Christian ministry based in Fort Worth, Texas. She is an internationally celebrated speaker who has influenced thousands of parents, teachers, and children in over 25 countries through keynote messages, workshops, seminars, assemblies, and other events. She also blogs regularly at www.DrKathyKoch.com.
Dr. Kathy's newest book, coauthored with Jill Savage, No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids For Who They Are, helps parents understand why they must get to know their children to parent them wisely. How Am I Smart? A Parent's Guide to Multiple Intelligences helps parents understand their children's learning strengths. Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness: 5 Questions That Will Change Your Life provides a solution-focused, enriching approach to real problems. Her book, Screens and Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World, will be published in March, 2015.Dr. Kathy earned a Ph.D. in reading and educational psychology from Purdue University. She was a tenured associate professor of education at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, a teacher of second graders, a middle school coach, and a school board member prior to becoming a full-time conference and keynote speaker in 1991.

Reviews

[Sarah Poling · Rating 5 out of 5]

The subtitle of this pretty amazing book is: How to Motivate Your Kids to Be Compassionate, Responsible, and Brave (Even When You're Not Around). And the big title- Start with the Heart.

Starting with the heart and a real relationship built on love and connection with children is my inner mantra and a tip I share with anyone who wants advice. It makes an enormous difference when children know you love them (not dependent on their behavior) and only want to help them grow a little bit each day. Love really is the answer in impacting the next generation for Christ, and raising up a new body of believers who will thrive and grow to new depths in love and connection in the body of Christ.

Dr. Kathy Koch is a book mentor of mine. She knows how to help others equip their children to become the best adults, she writes in a way that makes it simple and easy to apply with questions, tips, and story telling examples to move the reader forward in an uncharted path or to continue gaining skill in supporting children to become great grown ups! And this is my favorite book of hers so far!

She also knows children, what makes them tic, how they learn, and approaches all of her books with this in mind. So it's not a one size fit all approach. It's individualized for different personality children and adults.

This book has a larger and stronger biblical foundation and wisdom shared than I remember in her other books. Her principles have always been built on how God creates us and communes with us, but this book shows us how following His Word will make change happen in our lives and will help us identify what needs to change.

Things I love about this book:

Features:

format- two color pages used just right to make a huge impact.
Green headings throughout chapters, with smaller italics headings sometimes.
Green tabs with motivational key points (so when you flip through you stop at them)
Appendixes- these are worth the price of the book!

Biblical Counsel with psychological, therapeutic strategies taught:
Chapter 3: What will make change happen?
Look at the Contents page...
practical, manageable strategies
developing a growth mindset, resiliency, tenacity, etc. GRIT- such a need in our world today!
Modeling of the strategies including suggestions of what to say to help.

I've read so many books on helping children grow in the past five years. Many from leading researchers and counselors on how to help children, and in this easy to read, easy to grasp and implement, as long as you are honest with yourself new book, I can tell you this book puts the best research based concepts into practice and the author makes it so realistic and easy to build on. I wish I'd had this book five years ago!

I can't wait to hear what other parents love about this book, as I can see it being read and re-read as we seek to be the best parents we can for the children that God has given us! And Dr. Koch grasps how to make that work and possible. So prepare to dig in, take a few quiet breaks to pray and think about yourself and your style, so that you can address your kids needs and change yourself and your children with techniques that build one another up.

Thankful to partner with Moody Publishing and get an advanced copy of this book. It releases Friday, March 5th, pre-order it today so you will have it on Tuesday!!

[Emily P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Kathy Koch is one of the foremost Christian parenting leaders, in my humble opinion. She's found revolutionary ways to break through tough cases and encourage parents. In her new book, "Start With the Heart," we are once again reminded that parents can create change in the hearts of your kids--if you take the time to listen, act and encourage. It takes intentionality and active steps on both the parent and the child's part.

Dr. Koch provides the reader with questions to answer concerning their children, workable steps to take to improve communication, and ways to examine behaviors that looks at the whole context of the situation, not just the current behavior. Maybe the way we've been raised doesn't work with a strong willed, confident child. Maybe if we continue to use ineffective ways to reach an emotionally sensitive child, we are only building up deflections, creating new walls that weren't there before. Lots of us, if we're honest, need new strategies to cope with the changing times and difficulties that come up on our parenting journey. "Start With the Heart" is a book that has the power to transform your relationship.

There is a reason Kathy is considered one of the best. Her thorough research, workable goals for improvement and continual encouragement always places her books on my reading list. Some of the tools presented in "Start With the Heart" I have already put in practice with my kids. If you want a new way to evaluate how you parent, this is the book for you. This might mean some work for you, but let me tell you, it is worth it to see the results!

Parenting is not an easy job, but taking the time to examine both the heart of the parent and the child leads to better communication and growth, as well as healthier relationships in the long run. Kathy has created a great resource for parents, those who work with kids/teens, ministry workers, teachers and social service workers. It truly is a useful handbook!

I was an early reader thanks to Moody Publishers. All opinions are my own.

[Elise · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out strong but went downhill very quickly.

By the end of the book it just felt like I was reading, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." Honestly, I just wanted her to shut up. 🤷‍♀️

The words we chose to say to our children are important and should be measured, but the author takes all that to a whole other level. It became obvious this woman is not a mother. Her dealings with children are short periods of time. She's clearly never dealt with the day in, day out, cranky, happy, sick, moody, and everything in between. The reality is that children do not enjoy correction. You can measure your words, change it up, whatever. A child still doesn't enjoy correction, but correction is part of a parent's job.

I could say more, but the point is: don't waste your time on this book. The end.

[Darath Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive an advanced copy of Dr. Kathy Koch's new book, 'Start with the Heart.' I have read other books by the author and have considered her to be a mentor in my parenting journey for quite some time.

As is usual for her writing style, reading this book feels like you are sitting across the table from a wise, encouraging mentor who wants you to have the best possible outcome of your parenting journey. While the topics in the book may be challenging - how to build Godly character in your kids, how to meet their core needs, how to communicate so they will listen, etc. - Dr. Koch writes in such a way that helps you to quickly understand and to believe that you are capable of doing what is needed.

I especially appreciated that Dr. Koch includes specific actions steps at the end of each chapter of things you can think about and things you can do to implement each topic. Her ideas are manageable and doable. You will not feel overwhelmed!

This book should be a must-read for anyone who interacts with children on a regular basis. Our kids, and our relationships with them, will be better for the time spent reading and implementing Dr. Koch's wisdom.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 6 of 2023

Forget “The First Days of School” (though it’s good in its own right). THIS is the book every teacher should be given prior to their first job, especially in Christian education. I’ve had the privilege of hearing Kathy Koch speak before, and she’s simply incredible to listen to. This book didn’t fall short of any expectations I had of it.

As parents and teachers, we accomplish very little when we don’t start with our kids’ hearts. This book further cemented my philosophy of teaching, as well as parenting. Throughout the book, she lists examples of children’s behaviors and things they say. I lost track of how many of those specific things I heard or saw in my classroom this week alone. This work of reaching kids’ hearts is an ongoing journey. Koch describes it as “parent strong & parent long.” The same could be said of teaching. These strategies are not a one-time thing. They’re ongoing and years-long investments in our kids, which they 100% deserve.

I cannot recommend this enough. If you’re a parent, teacher, or work with kids, please pick this one up!

Format: audiobook (Libby)

[Skye Farthing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Start With the Heart’s title portrays exactly what the book is about. We need to start with our hearts before we can expect change from our children. This book is a MUST read for all parents but really for anyone that wants to make improvements within themselves. Dr. Kathy is full of wisdom and encouragement. The book allows you to look deep inside yourself and your children and reveal where you have gone off the path of parenting, made unrealistic expectations for yourself and for your kids, etc. She provides scripture and the tools to assess your life and steps for success. Thank you, Dr. Kathy for this amazing book, your honesty, transparency and for spreading the most important Word of God!

I was provided a copy of the book from Moody Publishers as a part of the launch team before public release.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dr, Koch is very excited about her topic and no doubt her heart is in the right place, but the fact that she is not a parent is pretty obvious while reading this book. Much of the psychobabble endorsed in this book is unrealistic and/or I just don’t buy into it. If we create an environment that is so special catered to our children by choosing all of the right words, learning styles, settings, noise levels, etc., that is not realistic and it doesn’t set them up for life outside of our home. They are going to encounter difficult learning environments, harsh bosses that use critical words and friends, family members and coworkers that cause them trouble. The sooner they learn to deal with less than ideal circumstances the better they will be able to handle trials when they come. Yes, we need to encourage our kids, but not cater and coddle.

[Heidi Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Kathy Koch has a wonderful style of delivering encouragement to parents with children of all ages. She is a passionate writer, teacher, and speaker. I have been able to read and listen to Dr. Koch and this book, 'Start with the Heart' has amazing, practical, and concrete ways to parent and join into conversations with our kids daily. She provides 'things to do' in each chapter as well as 'things to think about.' Dr. Koch wants parents to be engaged in conversations and also be listeners and learners with our children. Her wisdom is a gift from God and she shares it with so many around the world.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could recommend only one book that all parent should read, it would be Start With The Heart by Dr. Kathy Koch. The wisdom she shares in this book has transformed the way I parent. The best part of the book is that she not only shares her wisdom but also walks parents through how to put that wisdom into action. Reading and implementing the ideas in Start With The Heart will not only change your family for the better, but it has the power to affect generations to come. That's an investment I encourage you to make.

[Larry Guthrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be very helpful and informative. There are a myriad of helpful hints within each chapter. I especially found the communication and listening chapters insightful. The book is written in straightforward language and is easily understood. It does have a definite Christian worldview presented with multiple Scriptures quoted. I will definitely have it on my shelf to review various chapters.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the explanation of her intent for this book was helpful, the parenting advice felt more hypothetical than it did tried-and-true. I appreciated her reminder that we must model the kinds of character we want our kids to display. That is surely true & I am glad for any parenting book that makes this point rather than focusing on behavior modification for the children in the house. It may be helpful for others, but I gleaned little else from it.

[Nicole Mccoy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful ideas here. I appreciate the author explaining the direct impact that beliefs have on behavior. I prefer a more gospel-centered approach to this matter rather than a "chatacter-training" approach. The gospel reminds us that neither the parent nor the child can function as savior in a child's life. Solus Christus!

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This latest book from Kath Koch does not disappoint. I was given an advance copy to review and I am blown away. She has included so much information on the essentials of raising kids that I would call this book parenting 101. My favourite part is the practical wisdom so I can put into practice the things I'm learning. A definite must read!

[Jamie Parry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Kathy’s newest book is a must read. I was given an advance copy to review. I would strongly encourage any parent to get this book. It is sincere, encouraging and practical guide to parenting to the heart of your kids.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given an electronic copy of the book by the publisher for review.

What an important book.

Written from a strongly Christian perspective as well as based on years of observation and study, Dr. Koch encourages parents to “bring forth” (what “to parent” means) their children in a way that actually works! She suggests that parents not only focus on the child but also turn the observation on themselves and see if and how they may be contributing to a disconnect in the relationship with their child.

Each chapter ends with a helpful section full of things to do and think about with your kids.

I really appreciate Dr. Koch’s approach and I’m excited to read this together with my husband.

[Erica Donoho · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will read it again! Kathy knows that motivation doesn't come from outward actions. It is always about your child's heart. She talks about your child's character, resiliency, and identity. She encourages parents in consistency of consequences and the importance of communication with correction and compliments vs criticism. A lot of info but so good! Parent strong and be brave!

[Ginger Newingham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is on my list to re-read already. I listened to it on audio, but promptly bought the physical copy to mark up with my pens.

This is a book that came into my life exactly when I needed it. I know babies. I understand toddlers. It’s these upper elementary kids that scare me; they want independence and buck obedience. How do I parent them without crushing them? How do I capture their hearts and point them towards Jesus?

Well, this book has some great suggestions. Highly recommend. Listen, read, re-read, highlight.

[Beth | Faithfully Bookish]

Reviewed for the Spring 2019 issue of Hope By The Book magazine

[Bek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was invited to be part of the Start With the Heart book launch team and given a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. This book is simple and straightforward. Kathy Koch stresses over and over the importance of gaining your child's heart in order to influence, train, and correct them. What I appreciate most about this book is that she not only tells you what you should do, she gives practical suggestions on how to do it. I appreciate the charts throughout the 10 chapters, and the appendix with quick references.

[Syncopated Mama · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great little book that helps you learn how to motivate your kids to be compassionate, responsible, and brave -- even when you're not around!

Even though we are raising someone who, in my not-at-all-biased-opinion, is the greatest kid ever, there are still days when this parenting thing is hard.

Really hard.

So I'm always interested in reading books full of tips on how to do this parenting thing better, like this new title.

The book seemed like it would be helpful after just perusing the cover, but I did not anticipate that I would discover quite so many wonderful, useful nuggets of help inside.

Author Kathy Koch, PhD, is the founder of Celebrate Kids, Inc as well an international speaker who has influenced thousands of parents, teachers and children, so she's someone who knows a bit about what she's talking about when it comes to this parenting thing.

This book is written to encourage and empower parents, whether what's needed is a breakthrough or just a few tweaks here and there.

Koch asserts that although sometimes we parents feel like we're fighting the same battles with kids who seem totally unmotivated to change, the truth is that every child is motivated and we just need to learn how to unlock his unique heart.

She does this by sharing practical, manageable strategies for motivating our kids toward healthy life habits, including how to:

*address beliefs that affect behavior
*respond to consistent complaining
*increase resiliency and decrease fear of hard work
*listen longer and teach our kids to know themselves
*create change that lasts long-term

Plus, she does all of this from a positive standpoint and from a biblical view.

In Part 1, Koch addresses character qualities, the five core needs of kids and how important it is for us as parents to also be coaches. Then, in Part 2, she gets down to the nitty-gritty of how we can achieve it.

Using simple examples, she lays out how to communicate so your children will hear you, how to compliment and correct as opposed to flatter and criticize, and how to turn responses like "I can't," "I don't want to" and "This isn't fun" into "I can, I will, I did."

Who doesn't love the sound of that?

Although not a workbook, this practical book seems so chock-full of wisdom-filled kernels to implement, I marked it up like crazy and made a list of goals to tackle after reading it.

If you care about helping to create positive, character-filled kids in your home, especially those whose desire to be that way stems from intrinsic motivation and not coercion, then you'll want to check this book out.

I received a free copy of this product as a member of the Moody Bloggers Program in exchange for writing a review. All opinions are my own.

[Ashli Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being raised in a dysfunctional family I have always wanted to raise my children differently and while that mostly has come surprisingly natural given my circumstances- I have often turned to parenting books to give me the tools that were not caught or taught from my own parents. My sister introduced me to Dr. Kathy and I was immediately amazed with her giftedness when it comes to parenting and children so when I saw that Start With The Heart was being released, I knew I had to read it given the title alone!

The book is absolutely dedicated to its title and one that I deeply believe every parent should read for themselves as the content is applicable to any age group. I appreciate the wisdom and insight Dr. Kathy gives in each chapter and while reading, I often found myself shaking my head and saying “yes” in agreement. I also love how Dr. Kathy is able to trace back her wisdom to Scripture and gives practical tools and advice that make the book easy to follow and comprehend. In addition, this book would be fun for a group of parents to do together or even use in a church topic study as each chapter ends with questions to think about or things to do, allowing for a deeper understanding and application. The book is written as if Dr. Kathy were sitting across from you having a conversation with you about parenting giving it a more personal and emotional feel.

This book has been transformational in the way I view my role as a parent and the ways, behaviors, attitudes and words which I use with my child. There are too many wonderful quotes/paragraphs/sayings in this book to list them all so I encourage you to read the book for yourself so that you too, can see just how amazing this book is. If every parent would read this book and truly apply Dr. Kathy’s wisdom in their own homes- it would be amazing to see the positive changes in our children and change our world. Thank you Dr. Kathy for showing us that it truly does Start With The Heart.

While I did receive an advance copy of the book- I did purchase a book to give away as I wholeheartedly appreciate Dr. Kathy’s dedication to changing families through her giftedness and plan to donate this book to my church for other parents to read.

Kathy KochStart with the Heart: How to Motivate Your Kids to Be Compassionate, Responsible, and Brave

[Samantha Sophia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The broader cultural expectations of parenting has shifted in the last decade. Parenting in and outside of the Christian familial sphere has changed so dramatically it can be hard to keep track of the new standards. Feeding, clothing, and housing them while forcing them to go to church may have been enough for generations past but parenting now is more complex and nuanced.

When I saw Dr. Koch’s “Start With the Heart,” I was curious to read a Christian perspective of thoughtful and intentional parenting in the modern world. For a little background, my husband and I were both raised by Christian parents but with a great deal of with legalism or spiritualism and an insufficient amount of balance. What our parents wanted most was the appearance of obedient progeny, the kind who went through the motions of church and didn’t embarrass them via rebellion. What my husband and I want most as parents: is to understand our children, raise them to seek and own their relationship with God and be equipped to be healthy, loving and whole adults with impeccable character.

With that said, Dr. Koch’s book maybe a good start for Christian parents that may have to unlearn what their well (and sometimes not well) intentioned parents taught them about what it means to be a Christian parent. I could tell by both the framing and who did the foreword that this book is from more of a conservative lens. My biggest issue is that the book only grazed the surface in areas I wished they deviled deeper into, I think there are good scriptural connects and foods for thought for parents that are trying to equip themselves to be better and holistic leaders in their home and in their journey with their children. This book is a good starting point for those who haven’t considered the topic too deeply before but for folks like myself who have already invested time in books, Christian therapy sessions and podcasts, this may be a bit redundant, underdeveloped or not well aligned. Also, as a person of color, there is a cultural sterility to the book that makes it feel written only for a certain sub-population of North American Christianity. I would recommend the book to some of my friends but not as widely as some of the well thumbed gems on my bookshelf or kindle. But there are some good points, strategies and food for thoughts sprinkled throughout this book to make it worth considering for some.

[Jodi Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so practical and helpful. It's one that I will always keep on my bookshelf and review over the years. It truly is perfect! I have kids that are in middle school, high school, college, and post college. The tips are ones that I can use with all of my children, and ones that I could see useful for parents of younger kids too. Overall, I'm very happy with my parenting skills and my children, but there are always things we, as parents, can improve on. Sometimes we just get into ruts. This book can open your eyes to new ways of thinking and ideas to parent from the heart. I particularly like the "Things To Do" and "Things To Think About" at the end of each chapter. It gives you practical steps to incorporate these new skills and thoughts into your family life. Dr. Kathy also recommends to start out slow and try some of the things on yourself first. She doesn't expect perfection overnight. This makes you realize that this is a process, but one that can easily be done by taking her steps. I also appreciate that she has us look at our own issues and how that affects how we parent. One thing in the book that really hit home for me was about asking better questions. My daughter has been feeling very frustrated with the numerous questions of "What do you want to do when you grow up?" and "Where do you want to go to college and what will you major in?" Dr. Kathy suggests five different questions to ask instead, such as "What problems do you want to help solve?" They seem so simple. They're just not the normal questions we are used to asking. They are so much better. They have given my daughter many things to ponder on and I believe a direction of careers to begin to enquire about. She also thinks that no teenager should ever be asked the standard question again but one of the five mentioned in the book instead!

[Amber Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so excited to be able to receive an advance copy of “Start With the Heart” from Moody Publishers. It is full of practical wisdom and encouragement for everyday moms and dads. I love that the book gave real-life examples and actual tactics to use in parenting. Sometimes we do need a script! We have children ages 11, 9, 6, and 3, and I have been able to employ ideas from the book in parenting each one of my children. Sadly, it can be easy for me to see my children and parenting as a task to complete or manage. I loved how the book puts relationships first and gives me a framework for parenting with the end in mind. The book has really challenged me to see my kids as individuals and to really seek to truly understand them. Because of the book, I have seen positive changes in how I am dealing with discipline and issues of motivating my kids. I loved the book so much that I am leading a book club about it with a bunch of my friends this spring. Every Christian parent should read this book! It is a great size to put in your purse and read nuggets throughout the day when you can squeeze it in. Just make sure you have a highlighter handy though, because there is so much to take note of! Overall, an easy and practical read, that has had a lasting impact on me! Thanks to Dr. Kathy Koch for helping parents yet again with her wisdom in this book.

[Laura Dyck · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the director of family ministries in my church, I often get the opportunity to visit with families, youth and children. Often these conversations start generally about how life is going and end up discussing family dynamics – some of life’s most complicated moments. I’m always looking for tools that will help families be the best they can and anticipate early who their kids are and how best to raise them, not neglecting any part. Some books are far too complicated, some unrealistically promise too much too soon, while other books take too long to get to the point. It has been a challenge to find that “right” book. But I was lucky enough to be part of a launch team for Dr. Kathy Koch’s new book called “Start with the heart”. Her book is an easy read as you can see her outgoing and caring personality shine through her words. Her words are non-judgmental as she likes to say “you didn’t know these things yesterday…”. Her practical ideas and thoughts will give you things to work on immediately. Chapter One starts with 18 important truths to consider over your family and it just gets better from there. If you are looking for a concise, easy to read book on parenting your kids, this is it! You won’t be disappointed!

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the end of the day I think every parent hopes to raise successful, respectful, thoughtful children. Success of course meaning different things to everyone - but ideally being rooted in positive character. After a long line of parenting books that have driven home "good parenting in, good kids out" theme, this book has been refreshing and thought provoking. Instead of focusing on behavior modification and discipline techniques, Kathy gets straight to the issues of the heart and offers phenomenal insight into who our kids ARE. Who our kids ARE and who they are BECOMING is far outweighs what they do. And with this shift of focus, along with steps and ideas on how to effect who they are becoming, I feel equipped to guide and engage with each new season of parenting. It offers a two-way street approach, recognizing that our best efforts at raising successful, respectful and thoughtful children actually starts with modeling all of those qualities we so desire in our children. Grace, compassion, respect, effort, humility, etc. This is a book that will last a lifetime, one to reference back to often; this would be a delightful and intentional gift to any parent; and an outstanding study for small groups in a variety of settings.

[Hannah Jayne · Rating 4 out of 5]

succinct, informational, imperative. lightly personal. very filled with example scenarios. reads somewhat like a textbook; (and i would like a physical copy to read again some day, maybe multiple times. with a highlighter. and maybe a notebook.) i recommend. and generally agree with worldview, which makes applications seem like logical solutions.

not a lot of scripture? a handful of stand alone proverbs. some other references. and other statements that display decent theology. and reminders to pray. but not in-depth context and application.

not a lot of proof? she says things so authoritatively, this is how it is, and i assume she knows what she’s talking about. but if you want studies and statistics (or again, scripture) this isn’t that.


four stars instead of five really though only because, while it is common and easy to assume, a lot of example situations involved what your children do or learn at school. how they interact with teachers. what you can do to help them afterwards. and not how to help them now.. by maybe not sending them to be alone in the world all the time.

on the whole, very non-controversial for being christian. which is, good? bad? kind of impressive?

[Devvy Leys · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written with your family's best in mind. It's written straight from the heart of Dr. Kathy Koch, and her love for the tender hearts of children and their parents shows through wonderfully on every page. So often you can read a parenting book and just feel like you're a failure, like you're not even up to the level of the "poor example" parents used to illustrate the author's point of your need to change. That's not how Dr. Kathy ever leaves you feeling. Her words are expertly researched and prayerfully chosen to give her readers impactful ideas, practical methods, and HOPE. Every chapter ends with questions to consider for yourself and activities to bring together family members to motivate them toward the heart-change that is essential for right relationships. This is the kind of book that becomes a reference guide throughout the years, and there just aren't many such books that offer such love and God-given hope to parents.

I was given an advance copy of the book for review, and these thoughts are all my own. And for what it's worth, I have the exact same sentiments toward another of Dr. Kathy's books, 8 Great Smarts. So there's another one for your book list!

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have so much respect for Dr. Kathy and her wisdom and I'm always on the edge of my seat when I hear her speak. I was so excited for this book and it did not disappoint! Thanks to Moody for the advance copy. A couple of highlights for me was that several times Dr. Kathy was really encouraging me as a parent - "Be brave" and "Let me encourage you". I feel empowered with real tools and ideas that I can incorporate as a parent. The book is easy to read and I will return to it often as a parenting resource. I really appreciated how she explained asking our kiddos different questions. It was a light bulb moment for me to just change my words a little bit. Dr. Kathy does not want us to be overwhelmed and truly desires to help parents guide children to their potential. This book could truly affect not just your parenting, but generations to come. Thanks Dr. Kathy for investing in us and our kiddos!

[Katie Dugdale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advanced copy of Start with the Heart in exchange for my honest review. I can honestly say that this book is pure gold! It is filled with practical, spiritual, and emotional encouragement for parents who are parenting various ages. As a mom of teens and preteens, this book was especially encouraging to keep pressing on and pressing in. This is definitely a book to have in your parenting toolbox.... one that you will want to refer back to often. The sections at the end of each chapter and the appendices in the back are filled with practical helps. The methods in this book are simple yet transformative and can be implemented easily into the life of your family. I highly recommed this book for those who are parenting for the long haul and wanting to get to the heart of their children.