What do you think?
Rate this book
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do: Own Your Power, Channel Your Confidence, and Find Your Authentic Voice for a Life of Meaning and Joy
In the time of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement, international bestselling author and leading global expert on mental strength Amy Morin turns her focus to feminism, explaining what it means—and what it takes—to be a mentally strong woman.The emergence of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have awakened society and encouraged women to find their voice and claim their power. But to do this, women must learn to improve their own mental strength. Contending with a host of difficult issues—from sexual assault on college campuses, to equal pay and pay gaps, to mastering different negotiation styles—demands psychological toughness. In this crucial book, prominent psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Amy Morin gives women the techniques to build mental muscle—and just as important, she teaches them what not to do.
What does it mean to be a mentally strong woman? Delving into critical issues like sexism, social media, social comparison, and social pressure, Amy addresses this question and offers thoughtful, intelligent advice, practical tips, and specific strategies and combines them with personal experiences, stories from former patients, and both well-known and untold examples from women from across industries and pop culture. Throughout, she explores the areas women—and society at large—must focus on to become (and remain) mentally strong.
Amy reveals that healthy, mentally tough women don’t insist on perfection; they don’t compare themselves to other people; they don’t see vulnerability as a weakness; they don’t let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals. Wise, grounded, and essential, 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do can help every woman flourish—and ultimately improve our society as well.
What does it mean to be a mentally strong woman? Delving into critical issues like sexism, social media, social comparison, and social pressure, Amy addresses this question and offers thoughtful, intelligent advice, practical tips, and specific strategies and combines them with personal experiences, stories from former patients, and both well-known and untold examples from women from across industries and pop culture. Throughout, she explores the areas women—and society at large—must focus on to become (and remain) mentally strong.
Amy reveals that healthy, mentally tough women don’t insist on perfection; they don’t compare themselves to other people; they don’t see vulnerability as a weakness; they don’t let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals. Wise, grounded, and essential, 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do can help every woman flourish—and ultimately improve our society as well.
355 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 31, 2018
985 people are currently reading
10218 people want to read
About the author
Amy Morin
24 books640 followersAmy Morin is a psychotherapist and the award-winning host of Mentally Stronger, one of the top health podcasts in the world.
She's an international bestselling author of five books on mental strength. Her books, including 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, have been translated into more than 40 languages.
Forbes calls her a "thought leadership star" and The Guardian dubbed her "the self-help guru of the moment."
She's an international bestselling author of five books on mental strength. Her books, including 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, have been translated into more than 40 languages.
Forbes calls her a "thought leadership star" and The Guardian dubbed her "the self-help guru of the moment."
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 297 reviews
March 22, 2019
1. They don't compare themselves to other people.
2. They don't insist on perfection.
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness.
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals.
5. They don't overthink everything.
6. They don't avoid tough challenges.
7. They don't fear breaking the rules.
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential.
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong.
11. They don't stay silent.
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves.
13. They don't downplay their success.
2. They don't insist on perfection.
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness.
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals.
5. They don't overthink everything.
6. They don't avoid tough challenges.
7. They don't fear breaking the rules.
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential.
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong.
11. They don't stay silent.
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves.
13. They don't downplay their success.
February 2, 2019
I've had past relationships and friendships with women who weren't mentally strong and it was both confusing and frustrating to deal with. These were amazing women with great potential but always spoke negatively about themselves.
This book helped put into perspective why they were that way and what I can do differently to better help.
More men should be reading this!
This book helped put into perspective why they were that way and what I can do differently to better help.
More men should be reading this!
February 12, 2019
An average score as far as self-help books go. That being said, I can see how many would benefit tremendously from her words and suggestions. The format is simple and is broken down in an approachable manner. A huge complaint I have though is there is so much man bashing in this book and no women bashing. Women can treat other women just as horrendously as men but it's not mentioned.
September 26, 2021
Essentially, the book elaborated 13 key points that woman could change their mindset to make their life less miserable. The content wasn't just a random opinion from the author. It consists of researches, statistics and real case studies from her patients as well. The books showed that women in the society have been through a lot. Society hasn't been kind to women, and they always put so much pressure to women comparing to what men received. Not only the book fitted for all women in the world, to encourage that they are already competent enough to receive many good things, they just need to change their mindset a bit, but also Men who wanna understand how society was structured till today and why it made women so inferior, and help changing the current structure to be more equal. You don't have to read it in one go, just keep digesting a little bit by bit each day. Lastly, don't be so hard on yourself
May 29, 2019
I have been on a self help book kick this year, hence why I am not reading as much as I normally do, because for some reason, self help books take me longer to read. Nevertheless, I continue to read them and occasionally come across ones that seem like they were written for me.
Girl, I know there are other books that are getting way more traction and hype, but this one tops those. I struggle with a lot of self confidence issues that also play into other facets of my life/personality. This explains my newfound need to read every self help book I can find that pertains to women.
I like to think I am a mentally strong woman, but upon further self exploration, I realized I have a lot to work on. The books is broken into chapters that focus on each of the 13 things mentally strong women don't do.
1. They don't compare themselves to other people.
2. They don't insist on perfection.
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness.
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals.
5. They don't overthink everything.
6. They don't avoid tough challenges.
7. They don't fear breaking the rules.
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential.
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong.
11. They don't stay silent.
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves.
13. They don't downplay their success.
There are several chapters that really resonated with me and made me realize that in past relationships and friendships, I was the primary problem.
A really good book for those of you who want to better yourselves and be a more confident woman!
Girl, I know there are other books that are getting way more traction and hype, but this one tops those. I struggle with a lot of self confidence issues that also play into other facets of my life/personality. This explains my newfound need to read every self help book I can find that pertains to women.
I like to think I am a mentally strong woman, but upon further self exploration, I realized I have a lot to work on. The books is broken into chapters that focus on each of the 13 things mentally strong women don't do.
1. They don't compare themselves to other people.
2. They don't insist on perfection.
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness.
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals.
5. They don't overthink everything.
6. They don't avoid tough challenges.
7. They don't fear breaking the rules.
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential.
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong.
11. They don't stay silent.
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves.
13. They don't downplay their success.
There are several chapters that really resonated with me and made me realize that in past relationships and friendships, I was the primary problem.
A really good book for those of you who want to better yourselves and be a more confident woman!
October 29, 2018
I'm filing this one away for future reference, but my quick and dirty read of this Advanced Review Copy is positive. Morin is re-treading familiar territory, but manages to put a new spin on the topic with her case studies and examples in each chapter. The book is perfectly fine in a normal straight-through read, but could also work well as individual topics for introspection or journal explorations. I also think it could work well for a reader to tackle the chapters as they apply to the individual. A reader could successfully use chapters as stand alone topics.
April 18, 2019
Clear, concise, well laid out, and inspirational. I got a lot out of this book.
October 12, 2018
I am a huge fan of Amy Morin’s 13 Things Mentally Strong...series and this is a great addition. Even though the list contains familiar precepts, the meat of the text is in the examples and in the sound advice. Her expertise really shines through. If anything, this book is a great reminder when unhealthy thoughts creep in.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance reading copy.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance reading copy.
January 28, 2019
This book was just “ok”. I didn’t have any new revelations while reading it and didn’t feel overly empowered to change my life because of it. But if this is your first “self-help” book ever, you might benefit from it more than I did.
July 8, 2019
Didn’t learn anything new from this read.
Proves we have all the answers within we just need to ask the right questions.
Believe in yourself, never apologize for who you are and go balls to the wall in everything you do.
Proves we have all the answers within we just need to ask the right questions.
Believe in yourself, never apologize for who you are and go balls to the wall in everything you do.
December 19, 2019
I really enjoyed this book and found it to be very well researched. It had a lot of helpful tips and great motivation. I would recommend it for others to read.
August 14, 2022
الاسم حلو ويشد
اعتقد اللون اللبني متعمد اختياره بالرغم أن المتعارف عليه أن ده لون الذكور والبينك لون انوثي وكده
بالنسبة للكتاب حسيته طويل اوووي والموضوع مش مستاهل وع كل نقطة ف أمثلة كتير لستات ناجحة ف النقطة اللي بتتكلم عنها والمجهود باين من تجميعة الاحصائيات والكتب والشخصيات اللي ذكرتها
ف المجمل لطيف بس طويل وساعات يصدع من كتر الامثلة والتفاصيل 😅
اعتقد اللون اللبني متعمد اختياره بالرغم أن المتعارف عليه أن ده لون الذكور والبينك لون انوثي وكده
بالنسبة للكتاب حسيته طويل اوووي والموضوع مش مستاهل وع كل نقطة ف أمثلة كتير لستات ناجحة ف النقطة اللي بتتكلم عنها والمجهود باين من تجميعة الاحصائيات والكتب والشخصيات اللي ذكرتها
ف المجمل لطيف بس طويل وساعات يصدع من كتر الامثلة والتفاصيل 😅
January 31, 2019
I’ve covered this series of books before, but I found this one particularly interesting as the mother of three daughters during a time when it seems more important than ever to help women find their own voice and channel confidence that can lead to lives with more joy and meaning. OK, that was a mouthful and it sounded like shrink speak, but there is a lot in this book that’s relevant to the mature woman as well. Morin covers everything from social comparison and pressure to social media and sexism using examples from former patients and well-known figures to flesh out the anecdotes. At the end of the day the focus is on how to become mentally strong, which will only benefit everyone at the end of the day.
June 13, 2019
Some helpful stuff here, but it could’ve been a quarter of the number of pages. I still gave it three stars because it addressed what many self-help type books don’t: the systems (i.e. patriarchy, capitalism) in place that create an atmosphere in which only certain types of people and personalities are held up as templates for the rest of us.
February 26, 2019
to write later!
July 29, 2023
Wow! I was not planning on enjoying that book as much as I did! I think some of the reason is that when I listened to this book, I really needed to hear all of these thoughts and principles and suggestions. It was not redundant, but super helpful in breaking down different situations. The author gave examples of each situation, either from a celebrity or from someone she had worked with. I listened to this as an audiobook, so I only regret that I wasn’t able to mark highlights of the passages. But I did text some ideas to my
husband. That counts as note taking, right?
_________ Notes I voice-texted to Andy____________
If you are in your comfort zone, you are not growing.
Researchers have proven that you perform better when you are under a little bit of stress. When you are under no stress, you don’t perform as well.
But every person has a “optimal functioning zone“. If there is too much stress, then our performance decreases.
“When you’re inside your comfort zone, you were outside your enhancement zone.”
The HOW:
Know your purpose and your values.
Think of the hardest thing you’ve gone through so far in your life, and remind yourself that you got through it. You can get through this, too.
When you keep the big picture and focus and in mind, it helps you to be able to conquer the challenges when you’re outside of your comfort zone.
“Hurt people hurt people”
People who feel small and insignificant, will—sometimes unknowingly—lash out.
Reframe your thoughts.
Do you gain opinions about certain people based on their actions. These are opinions, not facts. Once you look at someone through a different lens, it will help.
Otherwise, you will be on the lookout for behavior that reinforces your opinion of that person.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Criticism is another persons opinion, it does not make it fact.
Listening to someone’s criticism, may help you improve, but it also does not make a fact. Just because someone does not agree with you, does not necessarily mean you are wrong. They just are not a fan.
A study at Wake Forest University found that when people are critical of others and put others down, it is a reflection of their own self-esteem, and self worth.
The level of negativity that used to describe others, reflected, how unhappy they were in their own life.
This is why it is dangerous to believe in what other people say about you. Just because one supervisor doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean that all the supervisors don’t like you.
Set healthy boundaries that will keep them from holding you back and dragging you down.
Work on your priorities and goals for yourself. You are in charge of the life you create.
Even if other people have hurt you, you have the power to move forward in life and create the life that you want.
husband. That counts as note taking, right?
_________ Notes I voice-texted to Andy____________
If you are in your comfort zone, you are not growing.
Researchers have proven that you perform better when you are under a little bit of stress. When you are under no stress, you don’t perform as well.
But every person has a “optimal functioning zone“. If there is too much stress, then our performance decreases.
“When you’re inside your comfort zone, you were outside your enhancement zone.”
The HOW:
Know your purpose and your values.
Think of the hardest thing you’ve gone through so far in your life, and remind yourself that you got through it. You can get through this, too.
When you keep the big picture and focus and in mind, it helps you to be able to conquer the challenges when you’re outside of your comfort zone.
“Hurt people hurt people”
People who feel small and insignificant, will—sometimes unknowingly—lash out.
Reframe your thoughts.
Do you gain opinions about certain people based on their actions. These are opinions, not facts. Once you look at someone through a different lens, it will help.
Otherwise, you will be on the lookout for behavior that reinforces your opinion of that person.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Criticism is another persons opinion, it does not make it fact.
Listening to someone’s criticism, may help you improve, but it also does not make a fact. Just because someone does not agree with you, does not necessarily mean you are wrong. They just are not a fan.
A study at Wake Forest University found that when people are critical of others and put others down, it is a reflection of their own self-esteem, and self worth.
The level of negativity that used to describe others, reflected, how unhappy they were in their own life.
This is why it is dangerous to believe in what other people say about you. Just because one supervisor doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean that all the supervisors don’t like you.
Set healthy boundaries that will keep them from holding you back and dragging you down.
Work on your priorities and goals for yourself. You are in charge of the life you create.
Even if other people have hurt you, you have the power to move forward in life and create the life that you want.
May 4, 2021
☑فصل اول: آنها خود را با دیگران مقایسه نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
مقایسه کردن، رسانهها، زندگی خانوادگی و اجتماعی، روابط، تلاش برای بهتر شدن، تبلیغات.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که توی شبکههای اجتماعی اکانت دارن، تلویزیون میبینن، آدم اطرافشون وجود داره؛ همه ما:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
دیدمون رو نسبت به آدمای موفقتر(بهتر، زیباتر، پولدارتر و...) باز میکنه، برامون از تاثیر مقایسه بر روابطمون، سلامت روانمون و اطرافیانمون میگه، بهمون راهکار میده تا سعی کنیم کمتر مقایسه کنیم و بدونیم مقایسه درست چیه.
☑فصل دوم: آنها اصرار ندارند کمالگرا باشند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
کمالگرایی، اینکه چجوری دست و پامون رو میبنده برای پیشرفت. اینکه کمالگرایی تا یه حدیش خوبه ولی وقتی باعث میشه برای "بهترین بودن" دست بکشیم از آرزوها و هدفامون، میشه مشکل!
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که کمالگران، اونایی که از شکست و اشتباهکردن میترسن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
دیدمون رو نسبت به کمالگرایی باز میکنه و باعث میشه متوجه شیم، ریسک کردن و بهترین نبودن، کسی رو نمیکشه(حالا شاید ریسک کردن یه جاهایی بکشه😂).
☑فصل سوم: از نظر آنها، آسیبپذیری نقطه ضعف نیست
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اضطراب، آسیبپذیری، اعتماد، ترس از اعتماد کردن، ترس از خطرکردن، قوی نشون دادن خودمون و سرکوب احساسات.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که مشکل اعتماد دارن، کسایی که فکر میکنن همیشه باید خودشون رو قوی و آسیبناپذیر نشون بدن، کسایی که گریه نمیکنن مبادا "ضعیف" خطاب بشن.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه بدونیم آسیبپذیر بودن همیشه هم بد نیست و قوی نشون دادن خودمون، همیشه به نفعمون نیست!
☑فصل چهارم: آنها اجازه نمیدهند نداشتنِ اعتمادبهنفس مانع رسیدنشان به اهدافشان شود
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اعتماد به نفس، رابطه، اعتماد کردن توی رابطه و احساس امنیت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که اعتماد به نفس ندارن، کسایی که فکر میکنن باید همه چی تحت کنترلشون باشه و اونایی که مدام در حال چک کردن همسر و بچههاشونن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
بهمون کمک میکنه بدونیم منبع ترسمون برای کنترل اوضاع و افراد ممکنه از اعتماد به نفسمون بیاد، اگه روی اون کار کنیم، کیفیت روابط و زندگیمون بالاتر میره. علاوه بر اینا اعتماد به نفس باعث میشه بعضیا خودشون رو دست پایین بگیرن، برای همین توی شغلشون درخواست افزایش حقوق نکنن یا اصلا برای شغلی که براشون موفقیت میاره، درخواست کار نفرستن.
☑فصل پنجم: آنها به همه چیز بیش از حد فکر نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
انگلیسیش میشه overthinking، یعنی هی به یه مسئلهای فکر کنی تا جایی که توی سرت پر شه، این فکر کردن برای حل مسئله هم نیست، فقط باعث نگرانی و استرس میشه
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
برای کسایی که زیادی به همه چی فکر میکنن تا کاه بشه کوه! راستی یه بخشیش درباره اینه که چرا نمیتونیم شبا بخوابیم:))) مثلا من متوجه شدم صدای فیلم یا موزیک باعث میشه صداهای مغزم قطع شن(یا کم شن) و راحتتر بخوابم! واسه همینه وسط کتاب خوابم نمیگیره ولی وسط فیلم میخوابم😂(البته وسط کتاب به "خواب" نمیرم وگرنه ممکنه ۵ صفحه بخونم و توی فکر باشم:))) یه اصطلاح قشنگی هم داره بهش میگن daydreaming)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
عواقب overthinking رو بشناسیم. این عواقب از اونایی هم که فکرش رو میکنیم، بدتره! مثلا:
-سلامت روان رو به خطر میندازه
-مشکلات فعلی روان رو تشدید میکنه
-استقامت رو کم و دوبارهبلندشدن برای کارها رو سخت میکنه
-باعث فلج تحلیلی میشه(یعنی نمیذاره تمرکز کنیم و مشکلات رو تحلیل و حل کنیم)
-میتونه باعث اختلالات خوردن بشه یا باعث شه بیشتر سیگار بکشید یا بیشتر الکل بخورید
-خوابتون رو جر میده:) با عرض پوزش از "فارسی سخت"ای که مجبور شدم استفاده کنم تا کلام منعقد شه:))))
☑فصل ششم: آنها از چالشهای سخت دوری نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اضطراب، ترس از خطرکردن و ریسک کردن.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که میترسن کار جدیدی رو شروع کنن، میترسن روش زندگی دیگهای رو امتحان کنن یا نمیتونن به اعتقادات و افکارشون شک کنن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
تا حالا شده یه کسب و کاری رو بخواید شروع کنید و بترسید "اگه شکست بخورم، بقیه چی فکر میکنن؟" یا "ممکنه استرس بکشم پس ولش کن"؟ خوندن این بخش کتاب بهمون کمک میکنه با ترسمون برای بیرون اومدن از "منطقه امن"مون مواجه بشیم. یه قدم بیرونتر، ممکنه باعث شه موفقیت بزرگی کسب کنیم. اگه نشد چی؟ حداقل حسرتش به دلمون نمیمونه:)
☑فصل هفت: آنها از شکستن قواعد نمیهراسند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
کلیشههای جنسیتی، سنت و رسم و رسومی که الان هم وجود داره ولی با انجام ندادنش به کسی ضربه نمیزنیم، حتی ممکنه انجامش باعث آسیبمون شه
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که میترسن خلاف جهت آب شنا کنن، میترسن با عرف جامعه مقابله کنن یا حتی برخلافش کاری انجام بدن، کسایی که با تبعیض جنسیتی سر و کله زدن و همه زنها:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه با دید بازتری به مسائل نگاه کنیم، قوانین بیفایده یا مضر رو بشناسیم و باهاش مقابله کنیم(کتاب نمیگه فلان قانون، ناحقه. فقط کمک میکنه با عقلمون تصمیم بگیریم چه قواعدی به دردمون نمیخورن)، جسارت داشته باشیم خلاف جریان شنا کنیم و چیزی که دوست داشتم راجع بهش این بود که میگفت برای شکستن قواعد، پیرو جمع نباشیم. بلکه ببینیم آیا شکستن این قانون مفیده یا فقط دارم با موج حرکت میکنم؟
☑فصل هشت: آنها برای ارتقاء جایگاه خود دیگرا را پله نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
شایعه پراکنی، غیبت و بدگویی، طعنهزدن، آزار اینترنتی، حمایت زنان از زنان، تحقیر دیگران.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! همهی ما تجربه این رو داشتیم کامنت بد برای کسی بذاریم. منظورم فحش دادن نیست. "چقدر زشتی"، "یکم به خودت برس"، "چقدر چاقی/لاغری" و... میتونن چندتا نمونه باشن. حتی شده پشت سر بقیه حرف بزنیم یا درمورد ظاهر و شخصیت کسی با دوستمون غیبت کنیم.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
قبل خوندن کتاب میدونستم که غیبت کار بدیه، میدونستم آدمایی که دیگران رو مسخره میکنن آسیبدیده یا مشکلدارن، ولی با خوندن این فصل، متوجه شدم که علاوه بر اینها خود من برای آروم شدن و کاهش اضطرابم چقدر بدگویی کردم. "شاگردم خیلی خنگه" با "چقدر ایرانیا احمقن" شاید برای یه لحظه آروممون کنه ولی نتیجه عکس میده. مدام بدگفتن از رفتار دیگران فقط باعث میشه توی درازمدت این توی سرمون جابیوفته که آدمای احمق دور و برمونن و ما گیرافتادیم و بهمون حس "نارضایتی" بده. اونم حسی که فایدهای نداره.
☑فصل نهم: آنها اجازه نمیدهند دیگران ظرفیتشان را محدود کنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
برچسبها، حس حقارت، انتقاد، ظرفیت افراد و نصیحت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
اگه با هر انتقاد یا برچسبی دست و دلتون میلرزه، این فصل برای شماست.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه با دید بازتری به انتقاد و منتقد نگاه کنیم و در آخر اینکه فرای انتظارات بقیه، بر اساس ظرفیت و تواناییمون، بریم سراغ هرچی دوست داریم.
☑فصل دهم: آنها خود را بخاطر اشتباهات سرزنش نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
حس گناه و عذاب وجدان.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
اگه حس میکنید مسئول همه چی هستید، یا خودتون رو به خاطر هرچیزی سرزنش میکنید، برای شماست:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه از حس "من آدم بدیام" رها بشیم، یاد بگیریم چجوری عذرخواهی و جبران کنیم و اینکه همیشه تقصیر ما نیست. از همه مهمتر درباره تجاوز و قربانینکوهی گفته که خودش فرهنگسازیه.
☑فصل یازدهم: آنها سکوت نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اهمیت صدای زنان، حرف زدن و تجاوز و آزار جنسی.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! مرد و زن؛ هر کی توی این دنیا زندگی میکنه!
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه بدونیم چقدر صدامون مهمه، چقدر سکوت نکردن اهمیت داره، اینکه صدای قربانی رو نبریم! بهمون کمک میکنه که بفهمیم لازم نیست سکوت کنیم و باعث سکوت دیگران بشیم.
☑فصل دوازدهم: آنها حس بدی نسبت به دوباره ساختن خود ندارند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
تغییر، سن و سال، زندگی.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! هر کسی زندگیش ممکنه دچار تغییر بشه یا باید/میخواد تغییرش بده ولی میترسه.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه از تغییر نترسیم، بدونیم زندگی بالا و پایین زیاد داره و گاهی با عوض کردن شرایط یا دیدمون به زندگی، میتونیم خیلی باکیفیتتر زندگی کنیم.
☑فصل سیزدهم: آنها موفقیت خود را کماهمیت جلوه نمیدهند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اعتماد به نفس، احساس رضایت و توانایی و قدرت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
هر کسی که فکر میکنه باید خودش رو بدبختتر از دیگران نشون بده و فکر میکنه این کارش به نفعشه.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
نه تنها کمک میکنه خودمون رو دست کم نگیریم، بلکه بهمون یاد میده که چقدر توی دنیای الان، برای پیشرفت و پیداکردن جایگاهمون به اعتماد به نفس نیاز داریم!
این هم از این کتاب! به پایان آمد این دفتر😬
تیکههایی از کتاب رو توی اینستاگرام با هشتگ #842togo گذاشتم.
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
مقایسه کردن، رسانهها، زندگی خانوادگی و اجتماعی، روابط، تلاش برای بهتر شدن، تبلیغات.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که توی شبکههای اجتماعی اکانت دارن، تلویزیون میبینن، آدم اطرافشون وجود داره؛ همه ما:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
دیدمون رو نسبت به آدمای موفقتر(بهتر، زیباتر، پولدارتر و...) باز میکنه، برامون از تاثیر مقایسه بر روابطمون، سلامت روانمون و اطرافیانمون میگه، بهمون راهکار میده تا سعی کنیم کمتر مقایسه کنیم و بدونیم مقایسه درست چیه.
☑فصل دوم: آنها اصرار ندارند کمالگرا باشند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
کمالگرایی، اینکه چجوری دست و پامون رو میبنده برای پیشرفت. اینکه کمالگرایی تا یه حدیش خوبه ولی وقتی باعث میشه برای "بهترین بودن" دست بکشیم از آرزوها و هدفامون، میشه مشکل!
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که کمالگران، اونایی که از شکست و اشتباهکردن میترسن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
دیدمون رو نسبت به کمالگرایی باز میکنه و باعث میشه متوجه شیم، ریسک کردن و بهترین نبودن، کسی رو نمیکشه(حالا شاید ریسک کردن یه جاهایی بکشه😂).
☑فصل سوم: از نظر آنها، آسیبپذیری نقطه ضعف نیست
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اضطراب، آسیبپذیری، اعتماد، ترس از اعتماد کردن، ترس از خطرکردن، قوی نشون دادن خودمون و سرکوب احساسات.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که مشکل اعتماد دارن، کسایی که فکر میکنن همیشه باید خودشون رو قوی و آسیبناپذیر نشون بدن، کسایی که گریه نمیکنن مبادا "ضعیف" خطاب بشن.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه بدونیم آسیبپذیر بودن همیشه هم بد نیست و قوی نشون دادن خودمون، همیشه به نفعمون نیست!
☑فصل چهارم: آنها اجازه نمیدهند نداشتنِ اعتمادبهنفس مانع رسیدنشان به اهدافشان شود
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اعتماد به نفس، رابطه، اعتماد کردن توی رابطه و احساس امنیت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که اعتماد به نفس ندارن، کسایی که فکر میکنن باید همه چی تحت کنترلشون باشه و اونایی که مدام در حال چک کردن همسر و بچههاشونن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
بهمون کمک میکنه بدونیم منبع ترسمون برای کنترل اوضاع و افراد ممکنه از اعتماد به نفسمون بیاد، اگه روی اون کار کنیم، کیفیت روابط و زندگیمون بالاتر میره. علاوه بر اینا اعتماد به نفس باعث میشه بعضیا خودشون رو دست پایین بگیرن، برای همین توی شغلشون درخواست افزایش حقوق نکنن یا اصلا برای شغلی که براشون موفقیت میاره، درخواست کار نفرستن.
☑فصل پنجم: آنها به همه چیز بیش از حد فکر نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
انگلیسیش میشه overthinking، یعنی هی به یه مسئلهای فکر کنی تا جایی که توی سرت پر شه، این فکر کردن برای حل مسئله هم نیست، فقط باعث نگرانی و استرس میشه
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
برای کسایی که زیادی به همه چی فکر میکنن تا کاه بشه کوه! راستی یه بخشیش درباره اینه که چرا نمیتونیم شبا بخوابیم:))) مثلا من متوجه شدم صدای فیلم یا موزیک باعث میشه صداهای مغزم قطع شن(یا کم شن) و راحتتر بخوابم! واسه همینه وسط کتاب خوابم نمیگیره ولی وسط فیلم میخوابم😂(البته وسط کتاب به "خواب" نمیرم وگرنه ممکنه ۵ صفحه بخونم و توی فکر باشم:))) یه اصطلاح قشنگی هم داره بهش میگن daydreaming)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
عواقب overthinking رو بشناسیم. این عواقب از اونایی هم که فکرش رو میکنیم، بدتره! مثلا:
-سلامت روان رو به خطر میندازه
-مشکلات فعلی روان رو تشدید میکنه
-استقامت رو کم و دوبارهبلندشدن برای کارها رو سخت میکنه
-باعث فلج تحلیلی میشه(یعنی نمیذاره تمرکز کنیم و مشکلات رو تحلیل و حل کنیم)
-میتونه باعث اختلالات خوردن بشه یا باعث شه بیشتر سیگار بکشید یا بیشتر الکل بخورید
-خوابتون رو جر میده:) با عرض پوزش از "فارسی سخت"ای که مجبور شدم استفاده کنم تا کلام منعقد شه:))))
☑فصل ششم: آنها از چالشهای سخت دوری نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اضطراب، ترس از خطرکردن و ریسک کردن.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که میترسن کار جدیدی رو شروع کنن، میترسن روش زندگی دیگهای رو امتحان کنن یا نمیتونن به اعتقادات و افکارشون شک کنن
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
تا حالا شده یه کسب و کاری رو بخواید شروع کنید و بترسید "اگه شکست بخورم، بقیه چی فکر میکنن؟" یا "ممکنه استرس بکشم پس ولش کن"؟ خوندن این بخش کتاب بهمون کمک میکنه با ترسمون برای بیرون اومدن از "منطقه امن"مون مواجه بشیم. یه قدم بیرونتر، ممکنه باعث شه موفقیت بزرگی کسب کنیم. اگه نشد چی؟ حداقل حسرتش به دلمون نمیمونه:)
☑فصل هفت: آنها از شکستن قواعد نمیهراسند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
کلیشههای جنسیتی، سنت و رسم و رسومی که الان هم وجود داره ولی با انجام ندادنش به کسی ضربه نمیزنیم، حتی ممکنه انجامش باعث آسیبمون شه
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
کسایی که میترسن خلاف جهت آب شنا کنن، میترسن با عرف جامعه مقابله کنن یا حتی برخلافش کاری انجام بدن، کسایی که با تبعیض جنسیتی سر و کله زدن و همه زنها:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه با دید بازتری به مسائل نگاه کنیم، قوانین بیفایده یا مضر رو بشناسیم و باهاش مقابله کنیم(کتاب نمیگه فلان قانون، ناحقه. فقط کمک میکنه با عقلمون تصمیم بگیریم چه قواعدی به دردمون نمیخورن)، جسارت داشته باشیم خلاف جریان شنا کنیم و چیزی که دوست داشتم راجع بهش این بود که میگفت برای شکستن قواعد، پیرو جمع نباشیم. بلکه ببینیم آیا شکستن این قانون مفیده یا فقط دارم با موج حرکت میکنم؟
☑فصل هشت: آنها برای ارتقاء جایگاه خود دیگرا را پله نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
شایعه پراکنی، غیبت و بدگویی، طعنهزدن، آزار اینترنتی، حمایت زنان از زنان، تحقیر دیگران.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! همهی ما تجربه این رو داشتیم کامنت بد برای کسی بذاریم. منظورم فحش دادن نیست. "چقدر زشتی"، "یکم به خودت برس"، "چقدر چاقی/لاغری" و... میتونن چندتا نمونه باشن. حتی شده پشت سر بقیه حرف بزنیم یا درمورد ظاهر و شخصیت کسی با دوستمون غیبت کنیم.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
قبل خوندن کتاب میدونستم که غیبت کار بدیه، میدونستم آدمایی که دیگران رو مسخره میکنن آسیبدیده یا مشکلدارن، ولی با خوندن این فصل، متوجه شدم که علاوه بر اینها خود من برای آروم شدن و کاهش اضطرابم چقدر بدگویی کردم. "شاگردم خیلی خنگه" با "چقدر ایرانیا احمقن" شاید برای یه لحظه آروممون کنه ولی نتیجه عکس میده. مدام بدگفتن از رفتار دیگران فقط باعث میشه توی درازمدت این توی سرمون جابیوفته که آدمای احمق دور و برمونن و ما گیرافتادیم و بهمون حس "نارضایتی" بده. اونم حسی که فایدهای نداره.
☑فصل نهم: آنها اجازه نمیدهند دیگران ظرفیتشان را محدود کنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
برچسبها، حس حقارت، انتقاد، ظرفیت افراد و نصیحت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
اگه با هر انتقاد یا برچسبی دست و دلتون میلرزه، این فصل برای شماست.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه با دید بازتری به انتقاد و منتقد نگاه کنیم و در آخر اینکه فرای انتظارات بقیه، بر اساس ظرفیت و تواناییمون، بریم سراغ هرچی دوست داریم.
☑فصل دهم: آنها خود را بخاطر اشتباهات سرزنش نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
حس گناه و عذاب وجدان.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
اگه حس میکنید مسئول همه چی هستید، یا خودتون رو به خاطر هرچیزی سرزنش میکنید، برای شماست:)
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه از حس "من آدم بدیام" رها بشیم، یاد بگیریم چجوری عذرخواهی و جبران کنیم و اینکه همیشه تقصیر ما نیست. از همه مهمتر درباره تجاوز و قربانینکوهی گفته که خودش فرهنگسازیه.
☑فصل یازدهم: آنها سکوت نمیکنند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اهمیت صدای زنان، حرف زدن و تجاوز و آزار جنسی.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! مرد و زن؛ هر کی توی این دنیا زندگی میکنه!
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه بدونیم چقدر صدامون مهمه، چقدر سکوت نکردن اهمیت داره، اینکه صدای قربانی رو نبریم! بهمون کمک میکنه که بفهمیم لازم نیست سکوت کنیم و باعث سکوت دیگران بشیم.
☑فصل دوازدهم: آنها حس بدی نسبت به دوباره ساختن خود ندارند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
تغییر، سن و سال، زندگی.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
همه! هر کسی زندگیش ممکنه دچار تغییر بشه یا باید/میخواد تغییرش بده ولی میترسه.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
کمک میکنه از تغییر نترسیم، بدونیم زندگی بالا و پایین زیاد داره و گاهی با عوض کردن شرایط یا دیدمون به زندگی، میتونیم خیلی باکیفیتتر زندگی کنیم.
☑فصل سیزدهم: آنها موفقیت خود را کماهمیت جلوه نمیدهند
🤍دربارهی چیه؟
اعتماد به نفس، احساس رضایت و توانایی و قدرت.
🤍برای کیا نوشته شده؟
هر کسی که فکر میکنه باید خودش رو بدبختتر از دیگران نشون بده و فکر میکنه این کارش به نفعشه.
🤍خوندنش چه کمکی بهم میکنه؟
نه تنها کمک میکنه خودمون رو دست کم نگیریم، بلکه بهمون یاد میده که چقدر توی دنیای الان، برای پیشرفت و پیداکردن جایگاهمون به اعتماد به نفس نیاز داریم!
این هم از این کتاب! به پایان آمد این دفتر😬
تیکههایی از کتاب رو توی اینستاگرام با هشتگ #842togo گذاشتم.
December 22, 2019
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do felt so good to take in. The book encourages women to build their mental muscles so they can become the strongest and best versions of themselves, as well as create a ripple effect that will inspire others to become mentally stronger. I want to think that I'm mentally strong, but I am self-aware and know that I will always have to continue to work on myself. I felt free and a sense of relief while reading this book, as it provided great reminders of what we logically know but don't always feel. Women deal with a lot of things that men don't often realize, and we tend to have stronger senses or go through situations differently or more painfully. The book gives advice and guidance that is simple and practical in each chapter to help get passed those mental barriers.
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do:
1. They don't compare themselves to other people
2. They don't insist on perfection
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals
5. They don't overthink everything
6. They don't avoid tough challenges
7. They don't fear breaking the rules
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong
11. They don't stay silent
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves
13. They don't downplay their success
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do:
1. They don't compare themselves to other people
2. They don't insist on perfection
3. They don't see vulnerability as a weakness
4. They don't let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals
5. They don't overthink everything
6. They don't avoid tough challenges
7. They don't fear breaking the rules
8. They don't put others down to lift themselves up.
9. They don't let others limit their potential
10. They don't blame themselves when something goes wrong
11. They don't stay silent
12. They don't feel bad about reinventing themselves
13. They don't downplay their success
May 4, 2019
It's very rare for me to find a self help book I enjoy. It's extra rare when I finish it. But I enjoyed this book a lot. But my rating is only for books in the self improvement category.
What I liked:
- Chapters each had enough anecdotes woven in to feel like a story so I could enjoy it
- Advice was simple and practical
- Statistics and factoids worked into each chapter were what really interested me - in particular because in every case there was evidence about how women are set up to fail in all these categories... it just made me think, and it made me mad, and it made me want to change, which was the whole point of this book
I'd reread this book
What I liked:
- Chapters each had enough anecdotes woven in to feel like a story so I could enjoy it
- Advice was simple and practical
- Statistics and factoids worked into each chapter were what really interested me - in particular because in every case there was evidence about how women are set up to fail in all these categories... it just made me think, and it made me mad, and it made me want to change, which was the whole point of this book
I'd reread this book
January 15, 2020
This isn't the book I expected, but I was very much surprised and pleased with it! I never really thought I wasn't "mentally strong", but this definitely offers great tips for improving. As a mom of daughters, it made me more aware of the challenges they will encounter in their lives, challenges that I've encountered and didn't even realize they were a source of anxiety and frustration. I am so glad I listened to this book! There were times when the author was a little long-winded about a topic (that's why I only gave it 4 instead of 5)
January 28, 2019
A great book to help you navigate through life using you own gifts and powers. It also helps you to become an authentic person who has authentic relationships. I love that it is well laid out, with some great tips, in an easy to reference way. You can read this book cover to cover or reference tips along the way. I think this book is fantastic for those woman wanting to instill more confidence into daily interactions and to face challenges with some fierce and helpful techniques.
February 11, 2019
I love Morin's books. I think this one is something women everywhere must read because it tackles a lot of ways women are brought up and the downsides of leaning into those tendencies. But she does so with illustrative examples and positive action items everyone can learn from. I know there are plenty of stories in this book that felt relatable and many questions I seriously want to sit down and ask myself. A great book for reflection and action.
July 1, 2019
May not be a 5 star reading for everyone, but I felt like this was helpful and gave me practical tips to start big and small changes. It also helped me see and learn my own incorrect patterns or thinking, reasons why I respond the way I do and how to improve the way I think and feel. I loved the case studies and felt like I could relate to a majority of her clients and scenarios. I appreciate the authentic sharing and perspectives given in this book. 👍🏻👍🏻
February 7, 2019
Great book! Highly recommend for any woman at any age!
June 2, 2019
[Audible: 10 hours, 13 minutes]
October 18, 2019
Really important reminders. Morin’s style is incredibly gentle and kind.
March 23, 2020
Leí este libro teniendo en mente a mi hija Lucía, quien tiene apenas 7 años de edad, y a mi esposa. Además, quería involucrarme de algún modo con el movimiento feminista y, particularmente, con las protestas pacíficas que miles de mujeres realizaron en México y en el mundo el 8 y 9 de marzo de 2020: primero con una marcha en las calles de Ciudad de México y, luego, con un paro de labores masivo que reclamaba una vida sin violencia en contra de las mujeres. Especialmente en mi país vemos cómo la ineptitud gubernamental, la corrupción policial y el desinterés social han normalizado el número aterrador de feminicidios.
Este libro deberían leerlo todas las mujeres. Hay tantas prácticas sociales nocivas tan arraigadas que resulta difícil despejar el cúmulo de discriminación que afecta a las mujeres. También hay dinámicas de respuesta automática que si no aprenden a estar concientes de su realidad y de su potencial simplemente las arrolla en experiencias negativas que las limitan toda su vida.
Pero también este libro lo deben leer todos los jóvenes y adultos hombres para que puedan generar mejores condiciones de vida para las mujeres y, en general, para la sociedad.
Este libro deberían leerlo todas las mujeres. Hay tantas prácticas sociales nocivas tan arraigadas que resulta difícil despejar el cúmulo de discriminación que afecta a las mujeres. También hay dinámicas de respuesta automática que si no aprenden a estar concientes de su realidad y de su potencial simplemente las arrolla en experiencias negativas que las limitan toda su vida.
Pero también este libro lo deben leer todos los jóvenes y adultos hombres para que puedan generar mejores condiciones de vida para las mujeres y, en general, para la sociedad.
July 9, 2022
3.5 stars rounded up.
"They found that the apologies that were the most effective in repairing the relationship contained the following components:
1. expression of regret
2. explanation of what went wrong
3. acknowledgment of responsibility
4. declaration of repentance
5. offer of repair
6. request for forgiveness
...If your choices have hurt someone, apologize. That won't make what you did ok, but saying you're sorry may help you and the person you hurt move forward in a more productive manner."
"Make sure that your efforts for reparations stem from remorse, not self-hatred. While some women blame themselves too much, it's also possible to be too forgiving of yourself. Denying the pain you've caused others, or minimizing the impact your mistakes have made won't help you to do better in the future. It's important to balance self-forgiveness with responsibility-taking. And keep in mind that a little bit of guilt is a good thing; it means you have a conscious and you feel bad about something you've done."
"I'm happy that it's over, but I'm sad that I didn't do it sooner. I'm angry that it happened in the first place and I'm disgusted that I live in a world where this stuff occurs."
"They found that the apologies that were the most effective in repairing the relationship contained the following components:
1. expression of regret
2. explanation of what went wrong
3. acknowledgment of responsibility
4. declaration of repentance
5. offer of repair
6. request for forgiveness
...If your choices have hurt someone, apologize. That won't make what you did ok, but saying you're sorry may help you and the person you hurt move forward in a more productive manner."
"Make sure that your efforts for reparations stem from remorse, not self-hatred. While some women blame themselves too much, it's also possible to be too forgiving of yourself. Denying the pain you've caused others, or minimizing the impact your mistakes have made won't help you to do better in the future. It's important to balance self-forgiveness with responsibility-taking. And keep in mind that a little bit of guilt is a good thing; it means you have a conscious and you feel bad about something you've done."
"I'm happy that it's over, but I'm sad that I didn't do it sooner. I'm angry that it happened in the first place and I'm disgusted that I live in a world where this stuff occurs."
August 7, 2020
Love this book beyond words. It’s probably the book where I put so much highlight on. While I don’t agree much of what the writer has said regarding gender differences (I grew up in a family where there are no strict differences in roles, for example, I was a tomboy that played video games and play with swords and robot toys all the time), this book is an eye opener for me who often doubt myself. I enjoyed reading the explanations, past research, and the case studies that the writer put to prove her point. Indeed, this book may not be for everyone (some may think that this one is a super feminist book), however, i would wholeheartedly recommend this book to all women who seek to excercise their mental strength for the better :)
August 8, 2025
*audiobook* I liked listening to the strategies presented and I hated listening to the way we have treated women, as second-class citizens, over the years that has led to so much self-doubt and powerlessness. As a Behavioral Scientist, I have invested a lot in my mental game, to grow personally/professionally and to coach others on the journey of being their best self. I hope more women read/listen to tools like this one to hear their own inner voice to grow strong mentally!
3 Components of Mental Strength
1. Thoughts
2. Feelings
3. Behaviors
13 Things Mentally Strong Women DON'T DO
1. Compare yourself to others
2. Insist on perfection
3. See Vulnerability as weakness
4. Let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals
5. Overthinking Everything
6. Avoid tough challenges
7. Fear breaking the rules
8. Put others down to lift themselves up
9. Let others limit their potential
10. Blame themselves when something goes wrong
11. Stay Silent
12. Feel bad about reinventing themselves
13. Downplay their success
3 Components of Mental Strength
1. Thoughts
2. Feelings
3. Behaviors
13 Things Mentally Strong Women DON'T DO
1. Compare yourself to others
2. Insist on perfection
3. See Vulnerability as weakness
4. Let self-doubt stop them from reaching their goals
5. Overthinking Everything
6. Avoid tough challenges
7. Fear breaking the rules
8. Put others down to lift themselves up
9. Let others limit their potential
10. Blame themselves when something goes wrong
11. Stay Silent
12. Feel bad about reinventing themselves
13. Downplay their success
Displaying 1 - 30 of 297 reviews