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How to Make Friends with the Dark
Here is what happens when your mother dies.
It’s the brightest day of summer and it’s dark outside. It’s dark in your house, dark in your room, and dark in your heart. You feel like the darkness is going to split you apart.
That’s how it feels for Tiger. It’s always been Tiger and her mother against the world. Then, on a day like any other, Tiger’s mother dies. And now it’s Tiger, alone.
Here is how you learn to make friends with the dark.
It’s the brightest day of summer and it’s dark outside. It’s dark in your house, dark in your room, and dark in your heart. You feel like the darkness is going to split you apart.
That’s how it feels for Tiger. It’s always been Tiger and her mother against the world. Then, on a day like any other, Tiger’s mother dies. And now it’s Tiger, alone.
Here is how you learn to make friends with the dark.
421 pages, Hardcover
First published April 9, 2019
3674 people are currently reading
124905 people want to read
About the author
Kathleen Glasgow
16 books12.1k followersKathleen Glasgow is the New York Times, USA Today, and international bestselling author of Girl in Pieces, The Glass Girl, You'd Be Home Now, How to Make Friends With the Dark, and The Agathas series (with Liz Lawson). Visit her on TikTok (@kathleenglasgow), Instagram (misskathleenglasgow) or her website (www.kathleenglasgowbooks.com).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,281 reviews
October 12, 2024
Darkest, full of grief and heartbreaking five stars!
There are too many scary things outside world. You may loose your loved ones, you can hurt yourself in several ways. You can lose your possessions, your social circles, your carrier or your dignity, patience, reputation.
But the scariest thing in life is loosing your inner light , turn it off forever and surrender to the dark!
This book is really pessimistic, depressing, heart wrenching! Too many times I thought to stop reading but I pushed myself to be patient. Because I know really well how to lose someone and suffer from deepest and never ever ending pain! It never goes away because when you lose someone you lose some parts of yourselves and you turn into a different person.
So Grace a.k.a Tiger’s tragic journey after her loosing her mother is so realistic so sad but also so genuine, poignant and easy to connect.
After her first connection with her sister, book takes a different route. We see Grace literally turns into a tiger and shows her claws against the bullies, starts to make new friends by discovering outside world and finally understands she is not alone on this world. There are too many people try to fight against their dark sides, suffer from dysfunctional family relationships, heal from losing someone.
I loved this book’s approach to the importance of sisterhood, friendship and sharing yourself instead of bottling up everything inside and living with paranoias.
As a summary if we want to take control of lives and fill the blank pages by designating our own fate, we have to learn making peace with the darkness !!!
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There are too many scary things outside world. You may loose your loved ones, you can hurt yourself in several ways. You can lose your possessions, your social circles, your carrier or your dignity, patience, reputation.
But the scariest thing in life is loosing your inner light , turn it off forever and surrender to the dark!
This book is really pessimistic, depressing, heart wrenching! Too many times I thought to stop reading but I pushed myself to be patient. Because I know really well how to lose someone and suffer from deepest and never ever ending pain! It never goes away because when you lose someone you lose some parts of yourselves and you turn into a different person.
So Grace a.k.a Tiger’s tragic journey after her loosing her mother is so realistic so sad but also so genuine, poignant and easy to connect.
After her first connection with her sister, book takes a different route. We see Grace literally turns into a tiger and shows her claws against the bullies, starts to make new friends by discovering outside world and finally understands she is not alone on this world. There are too many people try to fight against their dark sides, suffer from dysfunctional family relationships, heal from losing someone.
I loved this book’s approach to the importance of sisterhood, friendship and sharing yourself instead of bottling up everything inside and living with paranoias.
As a summary if we want to take control of lives and fill the blank pages by designating our own fate, we have to learn making peace with the darkness !!!
Follow me on medium.com to read my articles about books, movies, streaming series, astrology:
medium blog
April 12, 2019
this book
is for the grievers
this book
is for the left behind
this book
is for every broken heart
searching for a home
Kathleen Glasgow
This book broke my damn heart! That’s all! The end!
Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾
BLOG
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July 31, 2018This book is now a thing! It's about a girl named Tiger Tolliver who has to learn how to live with loss. It's about learning what family means. What it means to take care of someone and let yourself be cared for. Feel free to ask me questions about it and I'll do my best to answer.
May 23, 2020
Many thanks to Delacorte Books for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review
I got to meet Kathleen at the National Book Festival!!
***********
Oh my god. I don't think I have EVER read a book better than this one. It made me giggle. It made me cry. This is a book that everyone needs to read. And then read again. And again.
This book but me with a tsunami of emotions. Stronger than anything a book has ever made me feel in a while.
Grief is a very hard thing to put on to paper. I mean having someone you love die is one of the hardest things any human will ever have to face. I have been fortunate to only face it once. Even so, I know how painful it can be. I could relate to Tiger's pain. I know the feeling of not knowing what to do, what to say or who to turn to.
Even though, I've never experienced foster care of anything like that, I still felt Tiger's fear and sadness when she was put into the system. When I went through the process of admitting myself to Psych Inpatient, I felt out of control. I felt like my life had been taken away in one fell swoop.
For a rather large portion of the novel, Tiger is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Even though it's never directly saud, it's heavily implied and rather obvious. This also broke my heart because I've been there. I know how it feels to get sick of people saying "Things will get better" or "Keep going"
One of Tiger's many frustrations and fears was being moved from home to home. I also could relate to this. As I said earlier, I am fortunate enough to live with the same family for my entire life. But while I was at the hospital, I was constantly being moved from room to room and the staff was changing. Every time, I felt comfortable with one set of staff, it would switch and I'd have to do it all over again.
Finally, I love the honesty in this book. Most books about mental health and death do say dumb things like "Things will get better" and "Keep going". This one doesn't. It says that life is hard and that's okay. It's okay to be in pain. The key is learning how to get through it.
Many thanks to Delacorte for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review
Resources:
Suicide Lifeline
HopeLine
TeenLine
If you are experiencing a medical emergency, please call 911 or visit your nearest emergency room
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June 14, 2019
times i cried during this book: six
times i texted my mum and my dad to tell them i love them while reading parts of this book: countless
times i texted my mum and my dad to tell them i love them while reading parts of this book: countless
August 18, 2020
Going into How to Make Friends with the Dark I knew I was dealing with heart hitting, emotional prose that will leave me feel low, but nothing prepared me for the amount of emotions I feltl.
This book was heart wrenching in all it means!
I picked this book during a readathon, which was a HUGE mistake. You see, because so many bad things happened to our main character Tiger, it was really hard for me to speed through the story.
So I failed the readathon, but I got so much from this novel, that I’m not even sorry.
Some book just take time, and this is one of those books.
I wouldn’t have it any other way, because even though it was emotionally hard for me to process everything, by taking my time I think I got the most out of it.
The story follows Tiger who’s mother died suddenly. There were only two of them, so without the other parent, Tiger became the property of state, and not only does she grive her mother, but her life also completely changed.
The story talks about grief, friendships, family relationships, foster care and all kinds of domestic violence.
It is really an eye opening book and it makes reader question the system and justice.
The writing style is beautiful. There are many quotes I saved in my notes, that I’ll reread from time to time.
It is written in first person, following Tiger’s POV.
There is no romance in this young adult contemporary, so be aware of that (some readers will be happy about it I guess)!
In the end, I want to recommend How to Make Friends with the Dark to ya contemporary lovers who are looking for an emotional story without romance in it.
Read this and more reviews on my blog https://bookdustmagic.com
This book was heart wrenching in all it means!
I picked this book during a readathon, which was a HUGE mistake. You see, because so many bad things happened to our main character Tiger, it was really hard for me to speed through the story.
So I failed the readathon, but I got so much from this novel, that I’m not even sorry.
Some book just take time, and this is one of those books.
I wouldn’t have it any other way, because even though it was emotionally hard for me to process everything, by taking my time I think I got the most out of it.
The story follows Tiger who’s mother died suddenly. There were only two of them, so without the other parent, Tiger became the property of state, and not only does she grive her mother, but her life also completely changed.
The story talks about grief, friendships, family relationships, foster care and all kinds of domestic violence.
It is really an eye opening book and it makes reader question the system and justice.
The writing style is beautiful. There are many quotes I saved in my notes, that I’ll reread from time to time.
It is written in first person, following Tiger’s POV.
There is no romance in this young adult contemporary, so be aware of that (some readers will be happy about it I guess)!
In the end, I want to recommend How to Make Friends with the Dark to ya contemporary lovers who are looking for an emotional story without romance in it.
Read this and more reviews on my blog https://bookdustmagic.com
February 4, 2021
Heartbreaking but beautiful. I felt like I went on a journey reading this book. It made me smile but more often it made me cry. It was such an honest depiction of grief and several individuals journey as they are forced to navigate it.
July 8, 2019
i really loved the first half of this book and its portrayal of grief and trauma. tiger's home and school life felt so authentic and made me want to sob 43241 times
but the second half was,,,,,,,,boring IM SORRY
i was more detached from the characters and found it tiring to keep reading (y'all the book is 400 pages and if i aint entertained for 400 pages, it isnt going to work well) everything felt very repetitive and the characters, aside from tiger, felt so one-dimensional
this story was really powerful and my heart was hurting while i was reading it, but it just didn't work out for me
so, disappointed is me
but the second half was,,,,,,,,boring IM SORRY
i was more detached from the characters and found it tiring to keep reading (y'all the book is 400 pages and if i aint entertained for 400 pages, it isnt going to work well) everything felt very repetitive and the characters, aside from tiger, felt so one-dimensional
this story was really powerful and my heart was hurting while i was reading it, but it just didn't work out for me
so, disappointed is me
December 18, 2024
In life there is always a before and after moment. And for young Tiger (Grace) her moment comes all too soon. It's always been Tiger and her mother against the world. Then, on a day like any other, Tiger's mother dies. And now it's Tiger, alone. Here is what happens when your mother dies and how you learn to make friends with the darkness inside your heart and soul…
‘There will always be this emptiness inside you and beside you, where your mum is supposed to be, and only you will know the emptiness.’
This book is FULL of emotion 🥺🥺🥺 so much so that I barely knew where to begin with writing a review…
Let’s begin with the characters. All of the main characters were very well developed and complex in nature. They weren’t perfect and I would have liked to have seen more action from Tiger’s best friend, Cake. I also would have liked to see more of a bond forming throughout the book with Thaddeus; he was always there in the background but I think making him more of a main character could have added a whole other element to this book. Nevertheless, Tiger’s character was bang on point and very in-depth.
I thought it was particularly clever how the author wrote from Tiger’s POV, but it was as if she was apart from herself. She had stepped out of herself and was recounting herself almost as another person. In psychology, PTSD sufferers commonly experience dissociation and I think Kathleen did an amazing job at portraying what that feels like just by a slight POV change. Personally, this was a total game changer to the book as a whole and added at least 1/2 a 🌟 to my overall experience of reading this story.
Another clever way Kathleen choose to express Tiger’s experience was through short chapters titled with ‘Here is what to do when…’ or ‘Here is what happens when…’. For example, Tiger gives us an insight into what it feels like to ‘when your mother’s death certificates come in the mail.’ 💔 This is heartbreaking stuff that is often not talked about or covered, even in grief counselling. It is strangely comforting to see it touched on in this book.
Without giving too much away 🤐 I have to say I loved Tiger’s reaction to the ranch. I am totally in a cowboy era right now so this really appealed to me, and definitely lifted my spirit. 🤠
This book is such a raw representation of grief. Although in the story it was Tiger’s mother that died, the feelings and emotions can be felt from many other aspects of grief. To lose a loved one, is still to have lost a major part of your life and Kathleen does not hold back on the devastating effect this can have on you.
‘I will be in the dark forever, feeling around for a light switch and never finding it.’
I think this type of novel is so rare. People often die in books but are rarely studied in such great detail. Kathleen delves deep into the heart of Tiger with empathy and doesn’t shy away from the reality. This is not a cozy, fluffy, cute or fun story. This is real powerful emotion. Human beings at their most vulnerable. It is easy to avoid these kinds of books but I truly believe they have a place. They make us feel less alone in our suffering and teach us that it is okay to have deep, heart-wrenching thoughts and feelings. Kathleen has importantly provided resources at the end of the book to turn to if you need a support.
And just when you think you’ve gathered yourself…you read the authors note and the tears come flooding back 😭
"This book
is for the grievers this book
is for the left behind this book
is for every broken heart searching for a home".
Tigger Warnings: death of a parent, grief, domestic violence, suicidal thoughts ⚠️
‘There will always be this emptiness inside you and beside you, where your mum is supposed to be, and only you will know the emptiness.’
This book is FULL of emotion 🥺🥺🥺 so much so that I barely knew where to begin with writing a review…
Let’s begin with the characters. All of the main characters were very well developed and complex in nature. They weren’t perfect and I would have liked to have seen more action from Tiger’s best friend, Cake. I also would have liked to see more of a bond forming throughout the book with Thaddeus; he was always there in the background but I think making him more of a main character could have added a whole other element to this book. Nevertheless, Tiger’s character was bang on point and very in-depth.
I thought it was particularly clever how the author wrote from Tiger’s POV, but it was as if she was apart from herself. She had stepped out of herself and was recounting herself almost as another person. In psychology, PTSD sufferers commonly experience dissociation and I think Kathleen did an amazing job at portraying what that feels like just by a slight POV change. Personally, this was a total game changer to the book as a whole and added at least 1/2 a 🌟 to my overall experience of reading this story.
Another clever way Kathleen choose to express Tiger’s experience was through short chapters titled with ‘Here is what to do when…’ or ‘Here is what happens when…’. For example, Tiger gives us an insight into what it feels like to ‘when your mother’s death certificates come in the mail.’ 💔 This is heartbreaking stuff that is often not talked about or covered, even in grief counselling. It is strangely comforting to see it touched on in this book.
Without giving too much away 🤐 I have to say I loved Tiger’s reaction to the ranch. I am totally in a cowboy era right now so this really appealed to me, and definitely lifted my spirit. 🤠
This book is such a raw representation of grief. Although in the story it was Tiger’s mother that died, the feelings and emotions can be felt from many other aspects of grief. To lose a loved one, is still to have lost a major part of your life and Kathleen does not hold back on the devastating effect this can have on you.
‘I will be in the dark forever, feeling around for a light switch and never finding it.’
I think this type of novel is so rare. People often die in books but are rarely studied in such great detail. Kathleen delves deep into the heart of Tiger with empathy and doesn’t shy away from the reality. This is not a cozy, fluffy, cute or fun story. This is real powerful emotion. Human beings at their most vulnerable. It is easy to avoid these kinds of books but I truly believe they have a place. They make us feel less alone in our suffering and teach us that it is okay to have deep, heart-wrenching thoughts and feelings. Kathleen has importantly provided resources at the end of the book to turn to if you need a support.
And just when you think you’ve gathered yourself…you read the authors note and the tears come flooding back 😭
"This book
is for the grievers this book
is for the left behind this book
is for every broken heart searching for a home".
Tigger Warnings: death of a parent, grief, domestic violence, suicidal thoughts ⚠️
July 3, 2020
This one was difficult. It's sad, and real, and a bit tragic. I liked the unexpected events of the after effects and the unraveling of life in this novel. It's not one I'll be forgetting any time soon.
April 9, 2019
I received this eARC from Delacorte Press via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of this book in any way. All quotes are taken from the uncorrected proof and are subject to change.
Obligatory Summary
Tiger Tolliver's mother just died and her whole life has been turned upside down. Traded from foster home to foster home, from strangers to family and back again, she mourns her mother. There is no guide on how to cope with this kind of loss, and she's sinking under the sadness.
My Thoughts
I am honestly so conflicted about this book. I wanted to like it, I really did, and sometimes I did actually like it, but the writing and execution for me were the biggest issues. It was funny sometimes, but also just so strange. I can't really say what I didn't like about it, I just didn't like it.
I had a very hard time connecting with Tiger, the main character. She was very abrasive and I felt strange because I had to remind myself that I should feel bad for her. I've never suffered this specific kind of loss, but I have overcome death-induced depression after the suicide of my friend in high school, so while I could connect with the sentiments on a base level, they didn't inspire any real emotion in me. I'm the kind of person who emotionally connects to literally everything in a book, especially of this genre, so that was a very strange thing for me.
I found many of the other characters felt unrealistic, especially in their dialogue. Sometimes things were said that didn't feel like something any living, breathing human being would say, instead of a book character. Thaddeus came out of nowhere and became her friend in a very short period of time, which felt rushed and unrealistic to me, though I appreciated that he didn't just become a love interest as these characters tend to. The introduction of Lupe Hidalgo was probably the first thing in this that I genuinely didn't like, because she felt extremely cliche and unrealistic, especially with the other high schooler's reaction to her. She felt too blatantly rude, like a Disney Channel mean girl, and not an actual school bully.
I liked Shayna but felt that some of her plot twists could have been done better. There was a lot of weird pacing in this, which I guess reflects real life, but it made for a whiplashy reading experience. There were several times when Tiger just didn't address certain things that seemed like pretty pressing issues, which honestly contributed to my general dislike of her.
The various odd nicknames were jarring, as I've literally never met a single person in my entire life who honestly went by Cake or Crash or something like that. Maybe I've just lived in too many normal places, but that sounds like a cartoon character to me, not a real person.
This could just be a problem with the ARC, but the technical things in the writing were really weird. Like, it felt like this wasn't edited at all. I had such a hard time figuring out who the speaker was sometimes, because dialogue would continue into the next paragraph, but the new speaker rule was followed, even though the speaker was often the same. Like, all the author had to do was remove that extra quotation mark at the end of the first paragraph. It's literally that simple.
Overall, I thought it was fine, even really good at times, but because of the writing, I just really couldn't get into it. You might love it, it might even be your favorite book, but it just wasn't for me.
You have always been lonely and you have never admitted it.
Obligatory Summary
Tiger Tolliver's mother just died and her whole life has been turned upside down. Traded from foster home to foster home, from strangers to family and back again, she mourns her mother. There is no guide on how to cope with this kind of loss, and she's sinking under the sadness.
My Thoughts
I am honestly so conflicted about this book. I wanted to like it, I really did, and sometimes I did actually like it, but the writing and execution for me were the biggest issues. It was funny sometimes, but also just so strange. I can't really say what I didn't like about it, I just didn't like it.
I had a very hard time connecting with Tiger, the main character. She was very abrasive and I felt strange because I had to remind myself that I should feel bad for her. I've never suffered this specific kind of loss, but I have overcome death-induced depression after the suicide of my friend in high school, so while I could connect with the sentiments on a base level, they didn't inspire any real emotion in me. I'm the kind of person who emotionally connects to literally everything in a book, especially of this genre, so that was a very strange thing for me.
I found many of the other characters felt unrealistic, especially in their dialogue. Sometimes things were said that didn't feel like something any living, breathing human being would say, instead of a book character. Thaddeus came out of nowhere and became her friend in a very short period of time, which felt rushed and unrealistic to me, though I appreciated that he didn't just become a love interest as these characters tend to. The introduction of Lupe Hidalgo was probably the first thing in this that I genuinely didn't like, because she felt extremely cliche and unrealistic, especially with the other high schooler's reaction to her. She felt too blatantly rude, like a Disney Channel mean girl, and not an actual school bully.
I liked Shayna but felt that some of her plot twists could have been done better. There was a lot of weird pacing in this, which I guess reflects real life, but it made for a whiplashy reading experience. There were several times when Tiger just didn't address certain things that seemed like pretty pressing issues, which honestly contributed to my general dislike of her.
The various odd nicknames were jarring, as I've literally never met a single person in my entire life who honestly went by Cake or Crash or something like that. Maybe I've just lived in too many normal places, but that sounds like a cartoon character to me, not a real person.
This could just be a problem with the ARC, but the technical things in the writing were really weird. Like, it felt like this wasn't edited at all. I had such a hard time figuring out who the speaker was sometimes, because dialogue would continue into the next paragraph, but the new speaker rule was followed, even though the speaker was often the same. Like, all the author had to do was remove that extra quotation mark at the end of the first paragraph. It's literally that simple.
Overall, I thought it was fine, even really good at times, but because of the writing, I just really couldn't get into it. You might love it, it might even be your favorite book, but it just wasn't for me.
"Sometimes you need to open yourself to the possibility of the miraculous, Tiger Tolliver. Sometimes you just do."
December 9, 2024
★★★.5 stars
This was a buddy read with the amazing kiki! I loved doing this read with you, even though it didn't go as smoothly as we hoped. ♡
Now playing:
WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish
01:23 ━━━━●───── 03:43
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ
♪♫ things fall apart and time breaks your heart ♫♪
♪♫ but i see her in the back of my mind, all the time ♫♪
౨ৎ Tiger
She went through so much hardship, and I weeped at her story and the guilt she went through. She went through so many awful experiences, and I honestly had no idea how it was going to have a happy ending. She was so nice and didn't deserve anything that happened to her.
౨ৎ General thoughts
This book was absolutely heartbreaking. Honestly I don't know why Kiki and I keep doing this to ourselves. It made me incredibly sad that this kind of thing happens to people around the world. The fact that this is a very real scenario made it that more tragic. I hated how the children in the foster homes had been through so much, and they were all used to living in these conditions. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this book.
This was a buddy read with the amazing kiki! I loved doing this read with you, even though it didn't go as smoothly as we hoped. ♡
Now playing:
WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish
01:23 ━━━━●───── 03:43
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ
♪♫ things fall apart and time breaks your heart ♫♪
♪♫ but i see her in the back of my mind, all the time ♫♪
౨ৎ Tiger
She went through so much hardship, and I weeped at her story and the guilt she went through. She went through so many awful experiences, and I honestly had no idea how it was going to have a happy ending. She was so nice and didn't deserve anything that happened to her.
౨ৎ General thoughts
This book was absolutely heartbreaking. Honestly I don't know why Kiki and I keep doing this to ourselves. It made me incredibly sad that this kind of thing happens to people around the world. The fact that this is a very real scenario made it that more tragic. I hated how the children in the foster homes had been through so much, and they were all used to living in these conditions. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this book.
April 12, 2021
“Who would ever guess that it isn’t your bones or your blood or your heart that keeps everything humming along inside you, it’s your freaking mom, and when she’s dead, it all disappears.”
Boy, I can't keep count of the number of times I forced these heavy lumps in my throat. Those thoughts about losing your mom, your life anchor at an early age of 16, and the harsh realities of the endless suffering of children without parents for awful reasons such as death, abuse, addiction, etc. make me want to kneel on the floor and sob with abandon which I actually did-the sobbing, not the kneeling.
But thank goodness, the main character has so much humor, it has become an inherent part of her language. It's the one thing that grief couldn't take away from her. Also, the writing is simply amazing. It's lyrical, emotional, and eye-opening.
The plot takes an unexpected turn and the latter half of the book becomes about how to keep going on despite an enormous hole in your heart through friendship and discovering a new family relationship when Tiger finds out she has an older sister, a sister who represents adults who do their best to make lives of these poor children a bit better.
How to Make Friends with the Dark is probably the closest you will get to a lyrical, beautiful, helpful manual to grief. It's written mostly from the author's personal experience and I have so much respect and adoration for the author. I am completely overwhelmed.
Boy, I can't keep count of the number of times I forced these heavy lumps in my throat. Those thoughts about losing your mom, your life anchor at an early age of 16, and the harsh realities of the endless suffering of children without parents for awful reasons such as death, abuse, addiction, etc. make me want to kneel on the floor and sob with abandon which I actually did-the sobbing, not the kneeling.
But thank goodness, the main character has so much humor, it has become an inherent part of her language. It's the one thing that grief couldn't take away from her. Also, the writing is simply amazing. It's lyrical, emotional, and eye-opening.
The plot takes an unexpected turn and the latter half of the book becomes about how to keep going on despite an enormous hole in your heart through friendship and discovering a new family relationship when Tiger finds out she has an older sister, a sister who represents adults who do their best to make lives of these poor children a bit better.
How to Make Friends with the Dark is probably the closest you will get to a lyrical, beautiful, helpful manual to grief. It's written mostly from the author's personal experience and I have so much respect and adoration for the author. I am completely overwhelmed.
July 30, 2022
I'm in the minority, but I didn't love this. It was slow-paced, 100 pages too long, and I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential. The author touched on the surface of so much, but never really delved into the other characters or their stories.
August 8, 2021
Pero que historia tan preciosa 🥺
January 14, 2021
utter pain and sadness. this is the only book that has made me cry whilst reading. all i want to do is hug my parents and never let go
November 29, 2019
“you are carrying so many heavy feelings. there just isn’t enough room for them all.”
going into this book, i had absolutely no idea what it was about. the only thing i knew was that it was going to be a sad contemporary, and that it was indeed. since i barely heard anyone talk about the novel either, i also pretty much had no expectations and that was ideal, to be quite honest. i feel like if how to make friends with the dark had been praised by everyone i watch on booktube and everyone whose opinions are similar to mine, i would’ve been heavily disappointed.
this book heavily deals with the loss of a loved person and the grief following that. i am fortunate enough to have only went through that twice with the passing of my grandparents, but i can’t and don’t want to imagine how much it must hurt to lose someone from your immediate family. tiger has it even worse than that because her mom is pretty much the only family she’s ever known. going through the foster care system is something i don’t wish on anybody. i don’t have any personal experiences whatsoever, but the fosters is one of my favorite shows of all time which deals with foster families and how much of a mess the american foster care system is. so having watched that, i knew it was very much fucked up, and it is unfortunate that tiger has to go through that.
i loved how we got to know tiger on such a personal level, got to connect with her and really felt her pain and fears concerning different aspects of her life and what’s to come. honestly, i can’t think of any character i have so genuinely sympathized with so quickly, and i’ve got the author’s great writing to thank for that. girl in pieces was a 2 star read for me, so i’m glad i felt very different about her new work.
after all the positive stuff, there’s also some negative things as this wasn’t a perfect book for me personally. just like in kathleen glasgow’s previous book, i loved the first half of it so much, while the rest was really lacking when comparing the both. the ending was well rounded and all, but the 100 or so pages before the resolution were really dull and could’ve been cut so much shorter to not bore the reader to death. still all in all a good read, and i’m glad i spontaneously decided to pick it up.
→ 4 stars
going into this book, i had absolutely no idea what it was about. the only thing i knew was that it was going to be a sad contemporary, and that it was indeed. since i barely heard anyone talk about the novel either, i also pretty much had no expectations and that was ideal, to be quite honest. i feel like if how to make friends with the dark had been praised by everyone i watch on booktube and everyone whose opinions are similar to mine, i would’ve been heavily disappointed.
this book heavily deals with the loss of a loved person and the grief following that. i am fortunate enough to have only went through that twice with the passing of my grandparents, but i can’t and don’t want to imagine how much it must hurt to lose someone from your immediate family. tiger has it even worse than that because her mom is pretty much the only family she’s ever known. going through the foster care system is something i don’t wish on anybody. i don’t have any personal experiences whatsoever, but the fosters is one of my favorite shows of all time which deals with foster families and how much of a mess the american foster care system is. so having watched that, i knew it was very much fucked up, and it is unfortunate that tiger has to go through that.
i loved how we got to know tiger on such a personal level, got to connect with her and really felt her pain and fears concerning different aspects of her life and what’s to come. honestly, i can’t think of any character i have so genuinely sympathized with so quickly, and i’ve got the author’s great writing to thank for that. girl in pieces was a 2 star read for me, so i’m glad i felt very different about her new work.
after all the positive stuff, there’s also some negative things as this wasn’t a perfect book for me personally. just like in kathleen glasgow’s previous book, i loved the first half of it so much, while the rest was really lacking when comparing the both. the ending was well rounded and all, but the 100 or so pages before the resolution were really dull and could’ve been cut so much shorter to not bore the reader to death. still all in all a good read, and i’m glad i spontaneously decided to pick it up.
→ 4 stars
November 3, 2023
Obwohl ich "TikTok" eher zwiegespalten gegenüberstehe, bin ich der Plattform immens dankbar dafür, dass die Bücher von Kathleen Glasgow nun doch weiter übersetzt werden.
"Girl in pieces" brauchte hierzulande zwei Anläufe, bis es eine ausreichende Leserschaft erreichen konnte, wobei heutzutage scheinbar schon der "TikTok made me by it" Hinweis als Lockmittel ausreicht; mir soll es Recht sein!
"Girl in pieces" war keine einfache Lektüre für mich, dementsprechend vorsichtig bin ich an " How to make friends with the dark" herangegangen, was sich für mich aber vergleichsweise leichter lesen ließ, da ich mit Tod und Trauer noch nicht so oft in Berührung gekommen bin.
Es werden allerdings auch Dinge wie das Pflege-/ bzw. Jugendstrafsystem in den USA, Mobbing an Schulen, Alkohol-/ und Drogenabhängigkeit, Obdachlosigkeit, Armut, Suizid, sowie Gewalt an Kindern und Jugendlichen angesprochen und damit muss man erstmal zurechtkommen.
Glasgow's Schreibstil ist sehr intensiv und lässt ebenso intensiv mitfühlen und Augen feucht werden.
Allerdings bleibt das Buch, trotz düsterer Themen, stets hoffnungsvoll, was für ein Jugendbuch sehr wichtig ist.
Insgesamt finde ich es sehr beeindruckend, wie gut Kathleen Glasgow das Innenleben traumatisierter Jugendlicher versteht und in Worte fassen kann.
Im Grunde lässt sich das Buch als eine Art Hommage an "die verlorenen Kinder" zusammenfassen. Sehr schmerzhaft zu lesen, aber eben auch sehr heilsam, und deswegen auch so so wichtig!
"Girl in pieces" brauchte hierzulande zwei Anläufe, bis es eine ausreichende Leserschaft erreichen konnte, wobei heutzutage scheinbar schon der "TikTok made me by it" Hinweis als Lockmittel ausreicht; mir soll es Recht sein!
"Girl in pieces" war keine einfache Lektüre für mich, dementsprechend vorsichtig bin ich an " How to make friends with the dark" herangegangen, was sich für mich aber vergleichsweise leichter lesen ließ, da ich mit Tod und Trauer noch nicht so oft in Berührung gekommen bin.
Es werden allerdings auch Dinge wie das Pflege-/ bzw. Jugendstrafsystem in den USA, Mobbing an Schulen, Alkohol-/ und Drogenabhängigkeit, Obdachlosigkeit, Armut, Suizid, sowie Gewalt an Kindern und Jugendlichen angesprochen und damit muss man erstmal zurechtkommen.
Glasgow's Schreibstil ist sehr intensiv und lässt ebenso intensiv mitfühlen und Augen feucht werden.
Allerdings bleibt das Buch, trotz düsterer Themen, stets hoffnungsvoll, was für ein Jugendbuch sehr wichtig ist.
Insgesamt finde ich es sehr beeindruckend, wie gut Kathleen Glasgow das Innenleben traumatisierter Jugendlicher versteht und in Worte fassen kann.
Im Grunde lässt sich das Buch als eine Art Hommage an "die verlorenen Kinder" zusammenfassen. Sehr schmerzhaft zu lesen, aber eben auch sehr heilsam, und deswegen auch so so wichtig!
July 27, 2019
2.5
Warning: I cuss. Because this book gave me an aneurism.
Honestly, I still probably would’ve given it a 3-3.5 even if I don’t count the last third.
If at
This book was exhausting. And not in the way Girl in Pieces was. Even being almost the exact same length. At least I could say Girl in Pieces had... well... structure.
Now, I get it. As a writer and a reader. I don’t demand my books have rigid three act structures. In fact I fancy myself a five act structure fan.
Honestly, a hundred or so pages could’ve been lost. We didn’t need the first foster home. We didnt need the ranch scene, especially since it did very little to show her mother’s love of horses.
I’d say when it was at its best, it was most of the first half and the second foster home she was in. And I got excited when her sister showed up. But then??? Down hill. We weren’t building to anything. I just flat ass didn’t care the last portion of the book.
The book could’ve been cut in half, and we could’ve had a sequel. In fact, that’s what 90% of the last half of the book feels like. It could’ve been a decent sequel, with a bit of re writing and editing.
The characters were flat at times. I can’t remember much about anyone. Tiger was flat. The stupid skateboard shit never came up again. I was never given a reason to care about it.
Also, the drunk driving scene??? If you read my love updates while going through this scene, I think you can physically feel my hatred of Tiger. What a dumbass thing to do. Sweetie, your sister is possibly dying. Can we save the drunk driving for later?
I didn’t care when she was in jail. I was not attached to her after the second part of the book. It should have ENDED there, then be picked up later.
And for a book that says grief takes a lifetime, I don’t see why it thinks it must also FEEL like a lifetime to read about. I’m not kidding. This was one of the hardest reads to get through. And I’ve read the Fountainhead AND Atlas Shrugged. At least the last chapter of Atlas made me angry for how long and pointless it was, and how it’s ruining its story by preaching.
This??! This just made me think Tiger was a dumbass who’s mom raised her to be that way.
At least Charlie in A Girl in Pieces was a character. She liked art and music, and knew how to take care of herself. Everything about Tiger I know is that her s’mother died, and her she use to skateboard.
Tiger has no character growth besides feeling bad and wearing the dress. It isn’t even her choice to take it off... SHE GOES TO JUVIE AND HAD NO CHOICE. Her personality trait is deer in the headlights.
The drunk driving bullshit came out of nowhere. At least Charlie’s decent back into self harm was gradual. And we could see her breakdown a mile away. And that was a good thing! But this book??? No. No planting. No payoff.
This book could’ve used someone to cut it up into two parts. I would’ve been fine with the book ending with Tiger meeting her sister. Then we could start the third act plot of... I don’t know. We lost all sense of plot.
The first half was about her mom dying, and being in a foster home. The second half is about 1000 things and it’s hard to remember them all. An abusive boyfriend, school, a horse ranch, alcohol, that one lesbian chick from the first chapter who made fun of tiger in the most cliche way, drunk driving, music camp, horses, juvie.... way too fucking much plot.
I could go on. But honestly, it’s not worth it. I read this book, hoping and praying it would get better. That I would feel an actual emotion besides “are you fucking kidding me?”.
But no. I got flat characters and too many plot lines that end flat.
A disappointment, considering how much I loved Girl in Pieces. But I’ll still check out Kathleen’s next book...
Maybe if your mother is dead and you too are a deer in the headlights, maybe you’ll like it. But for my money on a book on grief, I’d go with Mick Harte Was Here (a middle grade but still really good), or Stealing Kevin’s Heart.
Or most of all SADIE. SADIE. SADIE. SADIE. SADIE.
EDIT: and for a good book on life in foster care, I suggest The Boy Who Carried Bricks
Warning: I cuss. Because this book gave me an aneurism.
Honestly, I still probably would’ve given it a 3-3.5 even if I don’t count the last third.
If at
This book was exhausting. And not in the way Girl in Pieces was. Even being almost the exact same length. At least I could say Girl in Pieces had... well... structure.
Now, I get it. As a writer and a reader. I don’t demand my books have rigid three act structures. In fact I fancy myself a five act structure fan.
Honestly, a hundred or so pages could’ve been lost. We didn’t need the first foster home. We didnt need the ranch scene, especially since it did very little to show her mother’s love of horses.
I’d say when it was at its best, it was most of the first half and the second foster home she was in. And I got excited when her sister showed up. But then??? Down hill. We weren’t building to anything. I just flat ass didn’t care the last portion of the book.
The book could’ve been cut in half, and we could’ve had a sequel. In fact, that’s what 90% of the last half of the book feels like. It could’ve been a decent sequel, with a bit of re writing and editing.
The characters were flat at times. I can’t remember much about anyone. Tiger was flat. The stupid skateboard shit never came up again. I was never given a reason to care about it.
Also, the drunk driving scene??? If you read my love updates while going through this scene, I think you can physically feel my hatred of Tiger. What a dumbass thing to do. Sweetie, your sister is possibly dying. Can we save the drunk driving for later?
I didn’t care when she was in jail. I was not attached to her after the second part of the book. It should have ENDED there, then be picked up later.
And for a book that says grief takes a lifetime, I don’t see why it thinks it must also FEEL like a lifetime to read about. I’m not kidding. This was one of the hardest reads to get through. And I’ve read the Fountainhead AND Atlas Shrugged. At least the last chapter of Atlas made me angry for how long and pointless it was, and how it’s ruining its story by preaching.
This??! This just made me think Tiger was a dumbass who’s mom raised her to be that way.
At least Charlie in A Girl in Pieces was a character. She liked art and music, and knew how to take care of herself. Everything about Tiger I know is that her s’mother died, and her she use to skateboard.
Tiger has no character growth besides feeling bad and wearing the dress. It isn’t even her choice to take it off... SHE GOES TO JUVIE AND HAD NO CHOICE. Her personality trait is deer in the headlights.
The drunk driving bullshit came out of nowhere. At least Charlie’s decent back into self harm was gradual. And we could see her breakdown a mile away. And that was a good thing! But this book??? No. No planting. No payoff.
This book could’ve used someone to cut it up into two parts. I would’ve been fine with the book ending with Tiger meeting her sister. Then we could start the third act plot of... I don’t know. We lost all sense of plot.
The first half was about her mom dying, and being in a foster home. The second half is about 1000 things and it’s hard to remember them all. An abusive boyfriend, school, a horse ranch, alcohol, that one lesbian chick from the first chapter who made fun of tiger in the most cliche way, drunk driving, music camp, horses, juvie.... way too fucking much plot.
I could go on. But honestly, it’s not worth it. I read this book, hoping and praying it would get better. That I would feel an actual emotion besides “are you fucking kidding me?”.
But no. I got flat characters and too many plot lines that end flat.
A disappointment, considering how much I loved Girl in Pieces. But I’ll still check out Kathleen’s next book...
Maybe if your mother is dead and you too are a deer in the headlights, maybe you’ll like it. But for my money on a book on grief, I’d go with Mick Harte Was Here (a middle grade but still really good), or Stealing Kevin’s Heart.
Or most of all SADIE. SADIE. SADIE. SADIE. SADIE.
EDIT: and for a good book on life in foster care, I suggest The Boy Who Carried Bricks
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 4, 2024
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pre-read・゜゜・．
buddy read with my bestie Em, i've got my tissues ready🤧
we will survive this together😭🫶
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pre-review・゜゜・．
sigh. here we go again.
☆4.5
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚review・゜゜・． no spoilers!
(yes i know i just marked this as rtc like half an hour ago but i just gotta write😭)
alright here goes-
i have lived days, weeks, and months inside the minds of absolutely broken people.
this is what happens every time i read a book by kathleen glasgow. if i'm being honest i don't even know what i think is so incredibly special about this book but somehow it managed to pick me up, tear me into a million pieces, and then shoot me back out into the real world. and i think the most terrible part of the books, is that this is reality. it may be a fictional story, but this stuff happens so often and so much in real life. and that makes me absolutely sick and makes me want to go cry some more. i might actually go and do that now.
this book is that type of book for me, that i loved so incredibly much, that i lived a whole life-time inside, that i felt so deeply in my bones, that i laughed, cried, and screamed with. but it's that type of book that i don't think i would be able to reread. it's that type of book that sits so heavily inside your heart, that you don't think you could bear going through all that again.
hehe soooo i guess i didn't really talk at all about the what or who's actually inside the book, buuuutttt i kinda don't wanna. i can't find the words😭 (and also maybe i was just so deep inside the story i forgot to pay attention to stuff that could go in a review)
anyway basically all you need to remember from this awfully dramatic review is:
- this book is beautiful
- this book is heartbraking
- this book is wow
- this book is aghsdjefidgksjehi
- this book is everything
and last but not least, i had so much fun reading this with the amazing Em💗 this buddy-read miiiiight have not gone as smoothly as our last one but it was super duper fun none the less and i'm so happy i could read this with you can't wait to vent with you🫶
buddy read with my bestie Em, i've got my tissues ready🤧
we will survive this together😭🫶
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pre-review・゜゜・．
sigh. here we go again.
☆4.5
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚review・゜゜・． no spoilers!
(yes i know i just marked this as rtc like half an hour ago but i just gotta write😭)
alright here goes-
i have lived days, weeks, and months inside the minds of absolutely broken people.
this is what happens every time i read a book by kathleen glasgow. if i'm being honest i don't even know what i think is so incredibly special about this book but somehow it managed to pick me up, tear me into a million pieces, and then shoot me back out into the real world. and i think the most terrible part of the books, is that this is reality. it may be a fictional story, but this stuff happens so often and so much in real life. and that makes me absolutely sick and makes me want to go cry some more. i might actually go and do that now.
this book is that type of book for me, that i loved so incredibly much, that i lived a whole life-time inside, that i felt so deeply in my bones, that i laughed, cried, and screamed with. but it's that type of book that i don't think i would be able to reread. it's that type of book that sits so heavily inside your heart, that you don't think you could bear going through all that again.
hehe soooo i guess i didn't really talk at all about the what or who's actually inside the book, buuuutttt i kinda don't wanna. i can't find the words😭 (and also maybe i was just so deep inside the story i forgot to pay attention to stuff that could go in a review)
anyway basically all you need to remember from this awfully dramatic review is:
- this book is beautiful
- this book is heartbraking
- this book is wow
- this book is aghsdjefidgksjehi
- this book is everything
and last but not least, i had so much fun reading this with the amazing Em💗 this buddy-read miiiiight have not gone as smoothly as our last one but it was super duper fun none the less and i'm so happy i could read this with you can't wait to vent with you🫶
April 21, 2024
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love Kathleen Glasgow. This is the third book i’ve read by this author and each time i’m hooked and can’t put it down. I felt so attached to the main character Tiger and her grief journey. I wanted to pull her out of the book and just hug her so tight. The way Kathleen writes Tigers story is so raw and heartfelt. I would recommend this book to anybody who has lost somebody dear to them because although this book will break you into a million tiny pieces all over again, it’s also therapeutic and somewhat healing to feel such a connection to the main character it almost feels like telling your best friend your deep darkest thoughts without judgement. Truly such a beautiful written book 🥺
I love Kathleen Glasgow. This is the third book i’ve read by this author and each time i’m hooked and can’t put it down. I felt so attached to the main character Tiger and her grief journey. I wanted to pull her out of the book and just hug her so tight. The way Kathleen writes Tigers story is so raw and heartfelt. I would recommend this book to anybody who has lost somebody dear to them because although this book will break you into a million tiny pieces all over again, it’s also therapeutic and somewhat healing to feel such a connection to the main character it almost feels like telling your best friend your deep darkest thoughts without judgement. Truly such a beautiful written book 🥺
May 5, 2025
Wichtiges Thema, aber ich bin mit der Erzählstimme überhaupt nicht klargekommen und konnte ihr Innenleben deshalb gar nicht greifen
February 1, 2021
{4.5 ⭐️}
this book broke me. i highly recommend this!!
this book broke me. i highly recommend this!!
April 10, 2019
Grief is extremely personal. No two people experience and process their grief in the same way. Kathleen Glasgow's novel How to Make Friends with the Dark beautifully explores the complexity, the isolation, the raw pain you feel when someone you love dies.
What's it about?
Tiger's mother may be overprotective, but it has always been Tiger and her mother against the world.
On a day like any other, after harsh words you can't take back are exchanged, Tiger's mother unexpectedly dies. And now Tiger is alone.
The raw, gaping hole in her heart is all that remains and Tiger has to learn how to make friends with the dark.
My Thoughts
I read Katheleen Glasgow's debut Girl in Pieces 2 years ago and I was blown away. That book was a ROLLER COASTER. My expectations for How to Make Friends with the Dark were high. And was I let down?
No, no I was not.
How to Make Friends with the Dark takes you on a wild ride from a normal school day with the hopes of kissing your crush to literally the worst moment for anyone to go through: identifying your mother's body in a morgue. From there you're whisked away and shoved into the foster system, placed in the charge of a harsh caregiver who locks and inventories their food to a lovable hippy who is really doing the best they can with a girl ripped apart from the inside out, and finally placed under the care of a long lost sister barely older than Tiger.
You spend a lot of time stuck in Tiger's mind and her thoughts, for the first part of the book, can be quite cyclical and repetitive and a bit like "get on with it." I also can suffer from repetitive thoughts, but that doesn't mean I didn't find it frustrating at times and all I could think was "let's get a move on." (Don't tell someone grieving to just get over it… You might get slapped in the mouth.) But "move on" it does.
What I Liked:
• Strong Female Friendships. Cake and Tiger (literally some of craziest names I've ever encountered in contemporary fiction) have such a solid friendship. It's beautiful. When it would have been easy for Tiger to push Cake away or for Cake to disappear when things get hard and Tiger's emotions are messy, their friendship weathers the storm. Cake is always there for Tiger, almost to the detriment of herself.
• Realistic Portrayals of Teenagers. In the beginning, I related to Tiger so much. She is one of the most realistic portrayals of a teen girl I have ever read. I was getting flashbacks to how I felt in high school, looking around me at all the girls that seemed so mature while I felt like a lump of misshapen dough.
• Realistic Portrayal of Grief. Tiger's grief is almost palpable at times and at other times its can be frustrating. You just want to shake her and yell "Snap out of it!" She acts out. She wears the same dress she fought with her mom about for WEEKS on end. She gets angry. She fights. Her thoughts get very dark.
• No Romance. Yes, you read that right! No romance. In a genre that easily falls into the trap of "love fixes all", this book is not one of them.
• Shayna. Literally my favorite character. She's smart, strong, funny, and compassionate. She has little self awareness at times and can be quite rude. But she's real. She pushes Tiger when no one else around her is willing to push her. She is not necessarily someone I would like in real life, she is a bit off putting at times, but in this story, I loved her.
• The notion that you are not alone no matter how isolated in your grief you feel. For the better part of the book, Tiger feels alone in her grief. She feels like an island floating out to sea in darkness she alone can feel surrounded by smiling happy faces. But she eventually realizes, she is not alone. She isn't the only to lose a loved one let alone lose a parent.
• Jellymobile. I don't like jelly, but I can get on board with a jellymobile. I am only human after all.
What I Didn't Like:
• Pacing. A lot happens in this books. Just like in Kathleen Glasgow's other novel Girl in Pieces, it starts slow and then goes sideways fast. It’s the same complaint I had with that book that I have with this one. Almost nothing happens for the first 150 - 200 pages and then EVERYTHING happens in the last 200 pages. Those last 200 pages are gripping, but I just feel this book would have benefited from reducing the cyclical thoughts and spreading out the action over more pages. A lot of stuff happens and its important and I think delving into it more and exploring the consequences of people's choices would have turned this into a 5 star read for me.
Grief is complicated and deserves to be explored in an honest and open way. This book manages that without being preachy or filling itself with meaningless like platitudes. Kathleen Glasgow is unflinching in the face of pain and we could all stand to learn how to make friends with the dark.
Trigger Warnings: abuse, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, suicide
Thank you to Netgalley, Delacorte Press, and Children's Random House for supplying me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own and I have not been influence by the publisher or the author.
What's it about?
Tiger's mother may be overprotective, but it has always been Tiger and her mother against the world.
On a day like any other, after harsh words you can't take back are exchanged, Tiger's mother unexpectedly dies. And now Tiger is alone.
The raw, gaping hole in her heart is all that remains and Tiger has to learn how to make friends with the dark.
My Thoughts
I read Katheleen Glasgow's debut Girl in Pieces 2 years ago and I was blown away. That book was a ROLLER COASTER. My expectations for How to Make Friends with the Dark were high. And was I let down?
No, no I was not.
How to Make Friends with the Dark takes you on a wild ride from a normal school day with the hopes of kissing your crush to literally the worst moment for anyone to go through: identifying your mother's body in a morgue. From there you're whisked away and shoved into the foster system, placed in the charge of a harsh caregiver who locks and inventories their food to a lovable hippy who is really doing the best they can with a girl ripped apart from the inside out, and finally placed under the care of a long lost sister barely older than Tiger.
You spend a lot of time stuck in Tiger's mind and her thoughts, for the first part of the book, can be quite cyclical and repetitive and a bit like "get on with it." I also can suffer from repetitive thoughts, but that doesn't mean I didn't find it frustrating at times and all I could think was "let's get a move on." (Don't tell someone grieving to just get over it… You might get slapped in the mouth.) But "move on" it does.
What I Liked:
• Strong Female Friendships. Cake and Tiger (literally some of craziest names I've ever encountered in contemporary fiction) have such a solid friendship. It's beautiful. When it would have been easy for Tiger to push Cake away or for Cake to disappear when things get hard and Tiger's emotions are messy, their friendship weathers the storm. Cake is always there for Tiger, almost to the detriment of herself.
• Realistic Portrayals of Teenagers. In the beginning, I related to Tiger so much. She is one of the most realistic portrayals of a teen girl I have ever read. I was getting flashbacks to how I felt in high school, looking around me at all the girls that seemed so mature while I felt like a lump of misshapen dough.
• Realistic Portrayal of Grief. Tiger's grief is almost palpable at times and at other times its can be frustrating. You just want to shake her and yell "Snap out of it!" She acts out. She wears the same dress she fought with her mom about for WEEKS on end. She gets angry. She fights. Her thoughts get very dark.
• No Romance. Yes, you read that right! No romance. In a genre that easily falls into the trap of "love fixes all", this book is not one of them.
• Shayna. Literally my favorite character. She's smart, strong, funny, and compassionate. She has little self awareness at times and can be quite rude. But she's real. She pushes Tiger when no one else around her is willing to push her. She is not necessarily someone I would like in real life, she is a bit off putting at times, but in this story, I loved her.
• The notion that you are not alone no matter how isolated in your grief you feel. For the better part of the book, Tiger feels alone in her grief. She feels like an island floating out to sea in darkness she alone can feel surrounded by smiling happy faces. But she eventually realizes, she is not alone. She isn't the only to lose a loved one let alone lose a parent.
• Jellymobile. I don't like jelly, but I can get on board with a jellymobile. I am only human after all.
What I Didn't Like:
• Pacing. A lot happens in this books. Just like in Kathleen Glasgow's other novel Girl in Pieces, it starts slow and then goes sideways fast. It’s the same complaint I had with that book that I have with this one. Almost nothing happens for the first 150 - 200 pages and then EVERYTHING happens in the last 200 pages. Those last 200 pages are gripping, but I just feel this book would have benefited from reducing the cyclical thoughts and spreading out the action over more pages. A lot of stuff happens and its important and I think delving into it more and exploring the consequences of people's choices would have turned this into a 5 star read for me.
Grief is complicated and deserves to be explored in an honest and open way. This book manages that without being preachy or filling itself with meaningless like platitudes. Kathleen Glasgow is unflinching in the face of pain and we could all stand to learn how to make friends with the dark.
Trigger Warnings: abuse, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, suicide
Thank you to Netgalley, Delacorte Press, and Children's Random House for supplying me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are my own and I have not been influence by the publisher or the author.
June 28, 2023
—💭 4.5 stars 💭—
“I want to hurt everyone right now. I want to break things so the world looks like how I feel inside: splintered into a million bloody and sharp pieces.”
————about the book————
Age: YA
Genres: Contemporary, Teenage Fiction,
Writing: 9/10
Quotes: 9/10
World building: n/a
Characters: 9/10
Romance: n/a
My rating: 9/10
trigger warnings death and grief, death of a mother, domestic abuse, violence, abortion, child abuse, suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide, mentions of gun violence, fat shaming, etc.
———my thoughts———
It’s always been Tiger and her mother against everything. Against the world.
But when her mother dies, and Tiger’s last words to her were angry, everything falls apart.
Kathleen Glasgow’s writing is like no other.
The was she describes feelings, pain, and grief.
It’s so emotional, so real.
She never writes happy endings.
Because that isn’t true to life.
So instead...bittersweet endings, full of hope for what’s to come, but also sadness for the past.
And that’s true for this book.
I wish this book was longer.
But it’s also perfect that it’s not.
It’s not perfectly wrapped up.
It’s a loose end, left for our imagination to fill in.
And I hope Tiger is happy. I hope she finds her people, I hope her friends are there for her. I hope she finds her way in life.
Because I love her.
Reading this, my heart went out to Tiger.
Her grief, her struggles, the way she thought about herself...
I just wanted to hug her.
I wanted to tell her that it’s not all going to be ok. But it’ll get better.
As soon as her sister was mentioned, I was worried and excited for her.
I was terrified her sister wouldn’t care, and hurt Tiger. But I also wanted her to have a sister.
And I was so, so happy that they got along.
The time Tiger spent in foster homes was both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The way the kids took care of each other is beautiful, but the fact that they have to is so sad.
Another part that was quite well handled in my opinion, was the fact of foster homes.
Especially in books and films, foster homes and other caring place for children tend to be vilified.
But I think How To Make Friends With The Dark shows both sides well. How there are people who aren’t the best, and shouldn’t be looking after children, and the people who really care.
All in all, I loved this book.
And I love Tiger.
My little Girl-Bug, who needs to learn to fly again.
————quotes————
“But there isn't a single word in the universe that you can think of that would describe the way you feel right now.”
“You are carrying so many heavy feelings. There just isn’t enough room for them all.”
“You have to make friends with the dark.”
“I'm alone. Everyone here has someone but me.”
“Always the universe, against you.”
———random extra thoughts———
I’ve adopted Tiger.
Thanks for reading! ❤️
————————
My GORGEOUS CARA BESTIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS WITH ME!
CRYING IS ALWAYS BETTER TOGETHER, AND I’M SO GLAD WE HAD EACH OTHER TO GET THROUGH IT😭❤️❤️❤️
————————
Buddy reading with my beautiful bestie, MY CARA BABE!!!
If we’re going to cry...at least we’re doing it together🥰❤️
“I want to hurt everyone right now. I want to break things so the world looks like how I feel inside: splintered into a million bloody and sharp pieces.”
————about the book————
Age: YA
Genres: Contemporary, Teenage Fiction,
Writing: 9/10
Quotes: 9/10
World building: n/a
Characters: 9/10
Romance: n/a
My rating: 9/10
trigger warnings death and grief, death of a mother, domestic abuse, violence, abortion, child abuse, suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide, mentions of gun violence, fat shaming, etc.
———my thoughts———
It’s always been Tiger and her mother against everything. Against the world.
But when her mother dies, and Tiger’s last words to her were angry, everything falls apart.
Kathleen Glasgow’s writing is like no other.
The was she describes feelings, pain, and grief.
It’s so emotional, so real.
She never writes happy endings.
Because that isn’t true to life.
So instead...bittersweet endings, full of hope for what’s to come, but also sadness for the past.
And that’s true for this book.
I wish this book was longer.
But it’s also perfect that it’s not.
It’s not perfectly wrapped up.
It’s a loose end, left for our imagination to fill in.
And I hope Tiger is happy. I hope she finds her people, I hope her friends are there for her. I hope she finds her way in life.
Because I love her.
Reading this, my heart went out to Tiger.
Her grief, her struggles, the way she thought about herself...
I just wanted to hug her.
I wanted to tell her that it’s not all going to be ok. But it’ll get better.
As soon as her sister was mentioned, I was worried and excited for her.
I was terrified her sister wouldn’t care, and hurt Tiger. But I also wanted her to have a sister.
And I was so, so happy that they got along.
The time Tiger spent in foster homes was both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The way the kids took care of each other is beautiful, but the fact that they have to is so sad.
Another part that was quite well handled in my opinion, was the fact of foster homes.
Especially in books and films, foster homes and other caring place for children tend to be vilified.
But I think How To Make Friends With The Dark shows both sides well. How there are people who aren’t the best, and shouldn’t be looking after children, and the people who really care.
All in all, I loved this book.
And I love Tiger.
My little Girl-Bug, who needs to learn to fly again.
————quotes————
“But there isn't a single word in the universe that you can think of that would describe the way you feel right now.”
“You are carrying so many heavy feelings. There just isn’t enough room for them all.”
“You have to make friends with the dark.”
“I'm alone. Everyone here has someone but me.”
“Always the universe, against you.”
———random extra thoughts———
I’ve adopted Tiger.
Thanks for reading! ❤️
————————
My GORGEOUS CARA BESTIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS WITH ME!
CRYING IS ALWAYS BETTER TOGETHER, AND I’M SO GLAD WE HAD EACH OTHER TO GET THROUGH IT😭❤️❤️❤️
————————
Buddy reading with my beautiful bestie, MY CARA BABE!!!
If we’re going to cry...at least we’re doing it together🥰❤️
April 1, 2019
I’m going to be the black sheep of this book I guess, but it was NOT for me. The storyline was insanely slow, I had zero connection with it, and it really just felt like nothing happened.
I normally like books that have a deep, emotional storyline; but this one didn’t hit the mark for me. I couldn’t FEEL the emotion at all. With what this book is based on I honestly expected to be a mess while reading it, and I just wasn’t. I was overall very disconnected and disappointed.
I normally like books that have a deep, emotional storyline; but this one didn’t hit the mark for me. I couldn’t FEEL the emotion at all. With what this book is based on I honestly expected to be a mess while reading it, and I just wasn’t. I was overall very disconnected and disappointed.
May 23, 2024
Touching book. Kathleen Glasgow is a great Young Adult author because I feel like she really tackles what that generation is dealing with. From parental loss to addiction and homelessness she has really honed in on topics that has afflicted a lot of people. This wasn’t my favorite book by her, but I still found it well-written and relatable. She has a new book coming out in October that I’m excited to read. 😊
October 24, 2022
kathleen glasgow writes books for the girlies with mommy issues
tiger learns to cope with the loss of her mother and, subsequently, her innocence in this novel. throughout the book, she goes through a series of events she never would have gone through if not for her mother’s death, including foster care, and she must learn to make friends with the dark before it swallows her whole.
tiger was such a neat character and i found myself growing attached to her. she definitely did not have a smooth journey—which, of course, no grieving person does, but i’d say her journey was rockier than most others’.
this is the third book of this author’s that i’ve read (out of the three she’s solo-authored). so, going in, i’d say i had pretty high expectations. as you can see, my expectations were definitely met. if you enjoyed the author’s other books, give this a try! the opposite also applies—if you enjoyed this one, read the others! glasgow’s writing is so captivating and i think she depicts mental health/illness so well.
that said, i do recommend this book with hesitation. if you’ve lost your mom or even someone very close to you, this book could be incredibly triggering for you, no matter how long ago it was. this entire book is about tiger’s grief, so it’s not like you ever really get a break from it, so please keep that in mind if you decide you’d like to read this book!
tiger learns to cope with the loss of her mother and, subsequently, her innocence in this novel. throughout the book, she goes through a series of events she never would have gone through if not for her mother’s death, including foster care, and she must learn to make friends with the dark before it swallows her whole.
tiger was such a neat character and i found myself growing attached to her. she definitely did not have a smooth journey—which, of course, no grieving person does, but i’d say her journey was rockier than most others’.
this is the third book of this author’s that i’ve read (out of the three she’s solo-authored). so, going in, i’d say i had pretty high expectations. as you can see, my expectations were definitely met. if you enjoyed the author’s other books, give this a try! the opposite also applies—if you enjoyed this one, read the others! glasgow’s writing is so captivating and i think she depicts mental health/illness so well.
that said, i do recommend this book with hesitation. if you’ve lost your mom or even someone very close to you, this book could be incredibly triggering for you, no matter how long ago it was. this entire book is about tiger’s grief, so it’s not like you ever really get a break from it, so please keep that in mind if you decide you’d like to read this book!
April 19, 2019
This book tore at my emotions the whole time and broke my heart many times. I can't pick one that stands out more than the others.
It reminded me of when I was grieving for my furbabies Tasha and Lilly, my bird Woody, Grandma, and Pop Pop. I kept thinking I was feeling this.. I experienced that! She gets it!
Not to compare my experiences to anyone else's, just to let you in to my thought process.
Some things in the end chapters had me almost outright bawling in the breakroom and smiling a little at one particular happening. The whole novel was beautiful but those chapters there really struck me.
It reminded me of when I was grieving for my furbabies Tasha and Lilly, my bird Woody, Grandma, and Pop Pop. I kept thinking I was feeling this.. I experienced that! She gets it!
Not to compare my experiences to anyone else's, just to let you in to my thought process.
Some things in the end chapters had me almost outright bawling in the breakroom and smiling a little at one particular happening. The whole novel was beautiful but those chapters there really struck me.
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