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685 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1951
...nine years before my birth, on a day of shining snow, a fair-haired young woman, her face calm and determined, who was waiting near a St. Petersburg canal for the passing of a sledge escorted by Cossacks, suddenly waved a handkerchief. There was an echo of muffled, soft explosions, the sledge came to a sudden halt, and there on the snow, huddled against the canal wall, lay a man with graying side-whiskers, whose legs and belly had been blown to shreds: the Tsar Alexander II. The party called People's Will published his death sentence on the following day.It might seem strange to begin a memoir nine years before one's birth, but Serge has his reasons. Born to Russian émigré parents in Brussels, in 1890, about twenty years after Lenin, Serge (whose real surname was Kibalchich) eventually moves to Paris and becomes involved in the French anarchist and socialist movements; he's arrested in 1913 and spends five years in a prison located on an island in the Seine. A few things happen in the world while he's in prison. After a prisoner swap in January 1919, at the age of 28 , Serge finds himself en route to Russia, the country where socialism has truly taken hold, or so he believes.
We crossed the Soviet frontier at dead of night, in the middle of a forest...The sharp cold bored through our thin Western clothing and our teeth chattered. The children, swaddled in bedclothes, were crying. Men with lanterns, standing on a little white bridge in the misty moonlight, counted us as we passed. Choked with joy, we shouted 'Greetings, comrade!' to a Red sentry; he nodded, and then asked if we had any food. We had. Here, take it. The Revolution is hungry.Russia also happens to be a country where he speaks the language fluently, although he's never been there. Now to me that would be worth writing about. To arrive in a country that is simultaneously alien but where you can understand every word- how would that feel? But Serge doesn't really talk about it. Likewise, while he generously describes details of his fellow prisoners' lives in Paris, his personal feeling about those years is that they were 'quite hellish.' Well...so one would expect. One reason these early chapters seem more schematic might be the fact that they describe what was by then the distant past (Serge wrote Memoirs... years later, in Mexico), but his refusal to dwell on his own subjective impressions is a recurrent theme in the book, as well as, I believe, tied into a question that I kept asking myself as I read. What is a revolutionary, after all? For Serge, it's someone who thinks about 'we' more often than 'I', someone for whom a sense of shared purpose and responsibility, and ultimately fate, is more important than the individual. A revolutionary is someone who doesn't stand separately outside of history but is intertwined with it, which might explain why Serge chooses to begin his memoir with the assassination of Alexander II. This sentiment might in certain contexts seem noble, it also carries the possibility of totalitarianism, but I feel confident in saying that, had Serge's vision somehow come to pass, Russia (not to mention Ukraine, Georgia, and many other countries in the region) would have been far better off.
Konstantinov lays his cards on the table, unveils his secret to me. The secret is that everything has been betrayed. From the years when Lenin was alive, treason has wormed its way into the Central Committee. He knows the names, he has the proofs. He cannot tell me anything, it's too dangerous: they know that he knows. The exposure of this plot demands infinite clairvoyance, a genius for inquisition, and absolute discretion...He whispers the names of foreigners, of the most powerful capitalists, and of yet others that have an occult significance for him. He specifies a city across the Atlantic. I follow his chain of reasoning with the secret uneasiness that one feels in the presence of some lunatic logician. And I observe that he has the inspired face of a madman. But in all that he says, he is driven by one basic idea that is not the idea of a madman: 'We did not create the revolution to come to this.'By the late 20s, Serge has been declared an 'Oppositionist', which means that his writing can't be published, he's under constant surveillance, his family is harassed, his relatives are fired from jobs and starved. People are afraid to shake his hand on the street. You might think that this would be the time to put aside that indulgent interest in literature and concentrate on simply trying to survive the world-historical forces that threaten to crush you; the thought occurred to me, at least. And yet it's during this terrifying period, during which he knows he may be arrested or even killed at any time, that Serge develops a conception of literature's true value, a conception that I find both simple and beautiful, that seems to balance the notion of 'I' with 'we.'
Historical work did not satisfy me entirely. Apart from the fact that it demands both resources and undisturbed leisure of an order that I shall probably never enjoy, it does not allow enough scope for showing men as they really live, dismantling their inner workings and penetrating deep into their souls...I had, and still have, an immense respect for literary activity- and an equally great contempt for 'literature.' Many authors write for pleasure...and may do it well; many others practice a conscious profession for the sake of earning a living and winning a name. Those who have a message within them express it in the process, and their contribution has human value. The others are simply suppliers to the book trade. My conception of writing was and still is that it needs a mightier justification: as a means of expressing to men what most of them live inwardly without being able to express, as a means of communion, a testimony to the vast flow of life through us, whose essential aspects we must try to fix for the benefit of those who will come after us. In this respect, I belonged to the tradition of Russian writing.It seems clear that this conception of writing (which he set to paper years later, in Mexico) as a communicative act could only have been encouraged by his subsequent imprisonment on an upper floor of the Lubyanka in Moscow, the kind of hushed, antiseptic Twilight Zone prison section that Koestler makes so vivid in Darkness at Noon. There's only one detail I found strangely, incongruously permissive- thirteen cigarettes and thirteen matches a day. Exactly thirteen. Other than that...how the fuck did he survive?
I knew that I would never have time to publish my works properly. They would be worthwhile without that. Others, less engaged in combat, would perfect a style, but what I had to tell, they could not tell. To each his own task.
It was a prison of noiseless, cell-divided secrecy, constructed inside a block that had once been occupied by an insurance company. Each floor formed a prison of its own, sealed off from the others, with its individual entrance and reception kiosk; colored electric light signals operated on all landings and corridors to mark the various comings and goings, so that prisoners could never meet one another. A mysterious hotel corridor, whose red carpet silenced the slight sound of footsteps, and then a cell, bare, with an inlaid floor, a passable bed, a table and a chair, all spick and span. A big, barred window with a screen masking it from the outside. On the freshly painted walls, not a single scribble or scratch. Here I was in the void, enveloped in a quite astonishing silence. Except that, far away, with a jangle of bells and ironmongery, the trams were passing by in Miasnitskaya Street, which at all hours of the day was full of people...After some cat-and-mouse with an inscrutable interrogator whom you somehow know is doomed himself, a must in any piece of Russian literature, Serge is sentenced to three years internal exile in Orenburg, in southwestern Russia. I've read over the phrase 'internal exile' many times, but I'm not sure I'd ever read an actual account of it. Orenburg, it seems, while full of starving and desperate people, was nevertheless one of the more desirable spots for internal exile- it was a city after all, as opposed to just some outpost near the Arctic Circle, and the weather was not especially harsh by Russian standards (which is to say, five months of winter that would dip, according to Serge, to lows of minus 42 degrees C). When they arrive, the GPU men give them instructions: 'It is forbidden to leave the town, except to go out for fresh air in the woods; from now on you may find any work or lodging that you can; only no employment can be taken up without our authorization.'
Here, in absolute secrecy, with no communication with any person whatsoever, with no paper, not even one sheet, with no occupation of any kind, with no open-air exercise in the yard, I spent about eighty days. It was a severe test for the nerves, in which I acquitted myself pretty well. I was weary with my years of nervous tension, and felt an immense physical need for rest. I slept as much as I could, at least twelve hours a day. The rest of the time, I set myself to work assiduously. I gave myself courses in history, political economy- and even in natural science! I mentally wrote a play, short stories, poems.
A French essayist has said, ‘What is terrible when you seek the truth, is that you find it.’ You find it, and then you are no longer free to follow the biases of your personal circle, or to accept fashionable cliches. I immediately discerned within the Russian Revolution the seeds of such serious evils as intolerance and the drive towards the persecution of dissent. These evils originated in an absolute sense of possession of the truth, grafted upon doctrinal rigidity. What followed was contempt for the man who was different, of his arguments and way of life. Undoubtedly, one of the greatest problems which each of us has to solve in the realm of practice, is that of accepting the necessity to maintain, in the midst of intransigence that comes from steadfast beliefs, a critical spirit towards these same beliefs and a respect for the belief that differs. In the struggle, it is the problem of combining the greatest practical efficiency with respect for the man in the enemy; in a word, of war without hate.
I do not, after all my reflection on the subject, cast any doubt upon the scientific spirit of Marxism, nor on its contribution, a blend of rationality and idealism, to the consciousness of our age. All the same, I cannot help considering as a positive disaster the fact that a Marxist orthodoxy should, in a great country in the throes of transformation, have taken over the apparatus of power. Whatever may be the scientific value of a doctrine, from the moment that it becomes governmental, interests of state will cease to allow it the possibility of impartial enquiry; and its scientific certitude will even lead it, first to intrude into education, and then, by the methods of guided thought, which is the same as suppressed thought, to exempt itself from criticism. The relationships between error and true understanding are in any case too abtruse for any one to presume to regulate them by authority; men have no choice but to make long detours through hypotheses, mistakes and imaginative guesses, if they are to succeed in extricating assessments which are more exact, if partly provisional: for there are few cases of complete exactness. This means that freedom of thought seems to me, of all values, one of the most essential.
I had, and still have, an immense respect for literary activity—and an equally great contempt for “Literature.” Many authors write for pleasure (especially the rich ones) and may do it well; many others practice a conscious profession for the sake of earning a living and winning a name. Those who have a message within them express it in the process, and their contribution has human value. The others are simply suppliers to the book trade. My conception of writing was and still is that it needs a mightier justification: as a means of expressing to men what most of them live inwardly without being able to express, as a means of communion, a testimony to the vast flow of life through us, whose essential aspects we must try to fix for the benefit of those who will come after us.Then, at the end of this book, he writes, “The role of critical intelligence has seemed to me to be dangerous, and very nearly useless.” He seemed to understand the intrinsic value of the written word while also appreciating the frustrations attendant to polemics. I suppose there’s an important difference between acquiring understanding and propagating a call to action.