Places to Look for a Mother

by Nicole Stansbury

In the tradition of Mona Simpson’s Anywhere But Here, Places to Look for a Mother tells a tale of mostly maddening mother-daughter bonds. Forgiveness is always there, but it’s hard to find. And Stansbury’s fractured Taylor family, led by the thoroughly eccentric matriarch, Miriam Taylor, usually loses it. With lithe prose, pitch-perfect dialogue, and gloriously real characters, author Nicole Stansbury conjures a family that proves Tolstoy right once All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. The Taylors are no exception, but Places to Look for a Mother is an exceptionally good debut novel.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Novels

288 pages, Paperback

First published February 19, 2002

Reviews

[Kalani · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got about two-thirds of the way through this book and stopped reading. It was depressing, and although there were moments of brief insight and humor that I appreciated, there were also themes that I didn't like. I like to read for education and also for entertainment - I didn't really get either from this book. It's going back to the Goodwill Store.

[Jessica (booneybear) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find this book very difficult to review. Nicole Stansbury is an excellent author. Without her wonderful storytelling, I don't know how I would have had the patience for such a dysfunctional family. I am a person that craves stability and there was absolutely no stability for the family in this book. I found the family very maddening. But I suppose that was the entire point of the book.

Stansbury did an excellent job making the reader go through so many emotions toward the character of the mother, hating her one minute, pitying her the next and almost sympathizing with her at other times. I suppose it would be all the emotions that Lucy went through in the book as well. As annoying as the characters could be at times, I found myself looking forward to seeing how things would resolve themselves.

If it were possible I would give Stansbury's writing a 5 star rating and the story would get a 3 star. I will definately keep my eyes open for more of Stansbury's work in the future.

[Shanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took an interesting trip into the lives of one very disfunctional family lead by their disturbed and immature mother.
It took me a while to really see what the point of the book was but I liked the story and the characters involvement with each other.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good. I couldnt put it down.

[Jane Dewitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

if you have had a somewhat eccentric mother, you'll like this. I did.

[Heather]

I'm going to put this one back on the shelf. I'll try again someday.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and poignant. Shocking at times, but provided just enough salt for the wounds.

[Katarinna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the personal pleasure of having Nicole Stansbury as my 7th grade English teacher, and can say that her writing skills are magnificent. In real life, she is a kind, eccentric, and special person very dear to my heart. However in the book she seems to drop most of this in order to tell a story, a beautiful yet dark story, that many people had the displeasure of living. I enjoyed this book, not because it was entertaining or largely insightful, but because I saw myself in this book. It gave me an insight into my past that I wasn't able to see due to my age at the time of the occurrences. This book will always be special to me, not just because of the writer, but because of the emotions it opened up in me.

[Molly Healy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book from a book swap in a cafe in Rincón. The book drew me in from the get go. You follow along as Stansbury navigates and reflects on difficult family relationships, particularly her mothers. I liked the set up of this at first- framing the chapters as places she’d find her mother. But the plot stayed stagnant the whole time. I got to the end and thought “Oh that’s it?”, which is never a good way to close a book. I enjoyed it throughout but it was more of a recounting of events than a story.

[Da Realest · Rating 5 out of 5]

people who can't relate to this book will most likely find it simply to be pointlessly depressing, but I think it could be insightful if you're prepared.
for people who can relate to having a parent with conditional love could either find this triggering, helpful, or both. the book starts off HARD with a triggering scene, and I found myself saying "I hate this b*tch" a few times - but that's what makes the characters so great, they're very REAL. If you're not settled with your trauma enough to reflect or seek comfort in relatively, tread lightly. all in all, it's a solid read.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the book and found it hard to put down. The family was intriguing, to say the least. I actually enjoy books like this one as it really makes you appreciate that you didn't grow up in such a dysfunctional mess. I can also relate to quite a bit of the craziness and emotions of the characters in this book.

[Ann Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling and disturbing novel about the emotional whiplash wrought by an anchorless and narcissistic mother: a mother who constantly rewrites history and reinvents herself.

[Paula L. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t know how to mark this book. I read the first 50 pages—my rule—and found it was not for me. Yawn.

[Sharon · Rating 1 out of 5]

I still have over a hundred pages to read, but I just can’t do it. This book is just not for me.

[Gretchen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am having a hard time thinking of how to review this book. At the beginning, I really loved the book. I love how "wordy" the author is and how easy it is to relate to the main character. In the middle of the book, I was sick of all of the mother's CRAP. I really wanted to tell her off for being such a selfish, self-centered jerk. But, by the end of the book, Lucy (main character) helped redeem her mother & I could understand why the family had put up with the mom for so long. It is just how it goes...we deal w/ what we have to deal with b/c we are family. As an outsider, it is hard to understand why people put up w/ things from family (esp their mothers--esp if they are daughters), but we don't get to choose who we "get". I am going to rate this book higher than I intended b/c I really think that Nicole Stansbury (author) hits the nail on the head concerning what it is like to be a child & to love your mom--no matter what.

Also, this book reminded me of The Glass Castle at times.

[Caitlin Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what I think about this book. I liked it but I'm not sure that I see anything heartwarming in it. Miriam, to me, is horrible and I didn't find that any of her few pros outweighed her many, many cons. I honestly couldn't understand why one of her many abusive husbands or boyfriends didn't just kill her already. I found Lucy unlikable as she got older but I liked her voice and narration. I don't understand her odd loyalty to her mother after everything but it also was set in a different time from that in which I grew up.
The most interesting thing about this novel, and a thing I didn't discover until after I'd finished it and gone back to check the publication date, was that the author dedicated it to Damien Echols of the West Memphis Three, formerly on Death Row and now a free man. A free man who I believe was/is innocent. I just thought it was interesting that she dedicated the book to him and I want to know more about why.

[Carla · Rating 1 out of 5]

I initially pick up this book read the first few pages and put it back on my bookshelf. After a year of it sitting there I finally decided to read it and wished I hadn't. I can't say this is one of my favorite books. It is my first time reading Nicole Stansbury and maybe this shouldn't have been my first choice. The mother in this book absolutely frustrated me and made me angry at how foolish and childish she was. For being a psychiatrist I honestly think she needed to see one. I felt bad for her daughters & some of the men she dated. It's as if this woman had a disease. I would not recommend this book to anyone. I also didn't care to much for the way Nicole Stansbury ended the book. I'd rather the mother been locked up in a psych ward or rather have died. This is one story I could have done without in my life.

[Jewel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nicole is my son's favorite teacher and she is also a great author. She offers enough description that you can picture everything, without being overbearing with nonsense details that you could do without (as I'm finding with "Love in the Time of Cholera").
In so many ways it is tough to believe this book is pure fiction. I've known people like this mom, and what early on seems like harmless eccentrics, later evolves to be an obvious deterioration of her mental heatlh. There was humor to be found in the pages, but there was also great sadness. There is a lot of adult content so I don't recommend this for young readers.

[Nancy Monson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book in the throes of watching my mother die and I suppose I was looking for places to look for a mother, too. Although my story is different than the main character's, and I did not find what I was looking for, there is solace in the book in the character's ultimate acceptance of her mother's weird world, her commitment to move beyond a lack of deserved mothering and make her own life, and a willingness to become a mere observer of her own mother's weird world without becoming trapped as a victim. I never construed the story to incorporate, or even encourage, forgiveness of parental frailty, but rather an acknowledgment of it in order to heal from the damage.

[Ann Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me more than two months to read...MORE THAN TWO MONTHS...the reviews on its jacket claim it was hysterical...laugh out loud side splitting humor...WHAT - WHERE...honestly I do not know who you pay for these reviews...it was not a bad book...it was an overly honest look at a seriously messed up family but far from funny - it was extremely sad in the fact that it was and is true of so many familys

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought-provoking, somewhat depressing and sad. This is the tale of young girl whose mom is not able to mother her. It alternately made me sad and enraged me. The mom is so ungrounded emotionally she expects everyone else to parent HER - including her kids. The book also does a good job of describing what it was like to grow up in the American Midwest in the 1960's. A lot of what is described in the book may not happen today.

[Sarahjvs · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lord this book took me months to read. I kept getting so frustrated and putting it down, then thinking "it can't be as bad as all that" and picking I tip again. I will say I am glad I finished it because it gave me opportunity to realize how unstable the mom was (it took me a long time to realize it!) but whoa, I could have totally read something else instead and been OK with it. The second I was done I was relieved!

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit like Angela's Ashes in that the misery just goes on and on much longer than necessary to get how disfunctional things were. If you have a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder, or some such malady, it may be interesting to compare your experience with this but otherwise, not worth your time.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story of a poisonous relationship of mother and daughter with a mother that would be unbelievable if you haven't read Glass Castles. I enjoyed the locations--mostly Utah, but some California--Solvang!, Wyoming, and some of the descriptions of life growing up in the 70's. This was as depressing as Glass Castles with none of the humor or feeling of triumph.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book that I read pretty quickly, so it definitely kept my interest. It takes place in the 60's and 70's, but some of the issues and situations seemed like they did not fit that time period. Especially the lifestyles that were somewhat accepted. Good character development, although some portions were offensive to me. Not graphic, but offensive.

[Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gritty and raw recollection of growing up with a disfunctional mother and a father unsure how to love. It's mildly entertaining. It will keep you from getting rings on your wooden coffee tables if you need a quick fix. :/

[Gen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was well written, heartbreaking and tragic. I only give it three stars because I REALLY, REALLY hated the mother. But, I suppose that was the point. Those poor girls!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Story about a family. Mother is high-strung and dramatic and daughters lives are in general upheaval because of it.

[Darlene · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not great!

[Olivia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Strange, I feel like it is about some one I know.