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Tending Roses

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Author Lisa Wingate drew upon her relationship with her grandmother for inspiration in writing "Tending Roses". Her sensitive and able crafting of language, character, and situation pierces through the turmoil and stress of everyday life, illuminating its message with almost painful intensity: "Maybe you should start wanting less." Wingate's words resonate as readers are introduced to Kate Bowman, her architect husband Ben, and their infant son. Kate, on maternity leave from her high-profile Chicago job, has been given the unenviable task of convincing her increasingly frail and forgetful grandmother that she can no longer live alone on the Missouri farm that has been her home for almost half a century. Kate and Ben are struggling to deal with mounting debts and medical bills as they strive to build a lifestyle, rather than a life. Frustrated by dealing with her stubborn, if well-meaning, grandmother, Kate finds solace and clarity in Grandma Rose's handwritten journal. The simple stories of earlier, less complicated times renew Kate's understanding of the truly important things in life. Through the journal, Kate discovers the essence of the remarkable Grandma Rose and is forced to reevaluate her priorities and those of her family.

Simply put, Wingate's aim is to exhort readers to "stop and smell the roses." The daily race to achieve and have more, more, more is clearly and all-too-accurately portrayed in these pages. I guarantee readers will stop to think of their own lives and where they are spending their energies. Let's hope Lisa Wingate has other relatives as inspiring as Grandma Rose for future novels.

288 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2001

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About the author

Lisa Wingate

57 books13.3k followers
Lisa Wingate is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Before We Were Yours, which remained on the bestseller list for over two years. Her award-winning works have been selected for state and community One Book reads, have been published in over forty languages, and have appeared on bestseller lists worldwide. The group Americans for More Civility, a kindness watchdog organization, selected Lisa and six others as recipients of the National Civics Award, which celebrates public figures who work to promote greater kindness and civility in American life. She lives in Texas and Colorado with her family and her deceptively cute little teddy bear of a dog, Huckleberry. Find her at www.lisawingate.com, on Facebook at LisaWingateAuthorPage, or on Instagram @author_lisa_wingate

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,410 reviews
886 reviews128 followers
April 12, 2017
I realize that I do not really write reviews, I only write the impressions and the feelings that I get from a book. I read a lot of really awe-inspiring books this year but this book "Tending Roses" will stay with me.

Lisa Wingate has written perfectly (at least for me) a book about family relationships, the wonderful and also the not so great. She created a grandmother that was wise but also contrary and sometimes down right mean. A real person...

I read this with the eyes of a grandmother, but a grandmother that also (with my husband) worries about mother-in-law who has health problems, who is wise and also sometimes contrary and down right mean.
I also see my children and their families...

A book that can make the reader think and contemplate as well as entertain and leave the reader feeling good is extraordinary and this story did that for me.
Profile Image for Jennifer Richter.
Author 2 books2 followers
February 13, 2008
I needed to hear the message of this book. As a homemaker and a full-time mom it really inspired me to slow down and really savor the fleeting precious moments of motherhood. I am normally very passionate about learning new things and can easily get caught up in my own interests. This book helped me to remember that I'll have my whole life to devote full-time attention to them. While I do take time for myself, I take great satisfaction in nurturing the passion for life and learning in my children. Their accomplishments are a wonder to behold.
58 reviews3 followers
September 8, 2007
Bleh. Sappy, heavy-handed and obvious. A woman stressed out by her job, her role as a new parent, and her desires for more house, more money, more everything goes to take care of her grandmother with Alzheimers and learns lots of important lessons about what is important. I hate this sort of "message" book where the outcome is obvious from page one and cliches masquerade as challenges.
Profile Image for Loraine.
3,447 reviews
October 17, 2015
SUMMARY: The lessons that most enrich our lives often come unexpectedly. That’s what Kate Bowman learns when she moves temporarily—with her husband and baby son—to her grandmother’s Missouri farm. The family has given Kate the job of convincing Grandma Rose, who’s become increasingly stubborn and forgetful, to move off her beloved land and into a nursing home. But Kate knows such a change would break her grandmother’s heart.

Just when Kate despairs of finding answers, she discovers her grandma’s journal. A beautiful handmade notebook, it is full of stories that celebrate the importance of family, friendship, and faith. Stories that make Kate see her life—and her grandmother—in a completely new way…

REVIEW: This book definitely made on to my list of 2015 favorites. I loved how Grandma Rose's journal magically appeared and had the perfect entry to address Kate's problems at exactly the right time. The entire story line was so beautiful and full of love and faith. The emphasis on the importance of placing focus on family rather than on bigger, better and more materialism resonates in today's world. This book was so filled with gems of wisdom from Grandma Rose that I will let these nuggets of favorite quotes show you how amazing this book is. I look forward to reading the other 2 books in this series.

FAVORITE QUOTES: (I actually had 19 but will post about half of them!)
"Grown up life has a way of doing that to you--taking up a little more and a little more of your time until you're never together, and when you are together you're exhausted."

"My father used to say: 'The man who buys what he does not need will often need what he cannot buy."

"But is life a success when it doesn't include time for after-school talks, and curling up to read books on winter nights, and weaving daisy chains in the summer? Is it a success when you have all the big things but none of the small ones? Is it as it should be when everybody grows up and moves to opposite coasts and doesn't care if they ever see each other?"

"Raising children is an occupation of self-sacrifice, but these days young people don't want to give anything up."

"You must remember that when people are unkind to you and try to make you feel as if you are less than they are. Your Father in heaven made every strand of hair on your head and every ounce of flesh on your bones. You are perfect, and beautify, and just the way you are intended to be."

"I wished it were that simple for Ben and me--just read a map and suddenly we would know where we were meant to end up and how to get there. But growing up is never that easy, no matter what age you are."

"Young parents, hold your children a liottle longer today. Kiss them when you put them into bed tonight, say their prayers with them,sit by them while they fall asleep. Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands. Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God. Be a person in whom they can have faith. When you are old, nothing else you've done will have mattered as much."

"Sometimes when you're doing good for other people, good things happen to you too."

"Sometimes it's easier to have sympathy for strangers than it is to have sympathy for your own family."

"When you feel burdened, listen to the laughter of your children. Take delight in them. They will make your load seem light."

"The secret to a happy life is not in getting what you want. It is learning to want what you get. Don't waste your time crying over what you're not given. When you have tears in your eyes, you can't see all the beautiful things around you."
Profile Image for Dorie.
62 reviews23 followers
March 3, 2019
I loved Before We Were Yours by the same author and was looking forward to this book. However I found it to be a bit lacking. While I agree with the messages in the story (about slowing down, taking time to enjoy your family, and not being so focused on material things), I found the story itself to be a little too preachy, predictable, and contrived. It was like reading a Hallmark movie in book form.

Little tangent here... A lot of the main character’s “financial troubles” were privileged and silly. She started off insisting that modern families need two incomes because that’s what’s necessary in today’s society, but come to find out, their lifestyle choices had a lot of extras like a country club membership, nice boat, and yearly vacation. Of course if that’s where you start, it’s easy enough to realize you don’t actually need both incomes and decide to put raising your family first. But for many families, it’s not about giving up luxuries such as those. Instead, both parents need to work just in order to survive - basic rent, utilities, clothing (no, not name brand), and food. The idea that parents need to just “tighten the purse straps” and spend more time with their family over working (or their kids will grow up disadvantaged and never have a proper relationship with their parents) is very entitled thinking — and potentially hurtful towards any parents reading this book who truly cannot afford to do that. Modern parents already face an overwhelming amount of criticism due to the internet and the rise of “sanctimommies” on social media. Adding extra guilt because they have to work to provide for their children (and *gasp!* their children might spend a few hours a day in daycare) is simply unnecessary. And this is coming from someone who actually IS fortunate enough to be a stay at home mother to my children (but I’m humble enough to realize that I’m lucky and it’s just simply not a feasible option for everyone - which does not make them a worse or lesser parent than me in any way).
Profile Image for Corgi.
388 reviews1 follower
September 8, 2018
I did not like Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate. I read Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate and really liked that book. I noticed that Tending Roses was published in 2003 and Before We Were Yours was published in 2017. I think L Wingate has matured greatly as a writer and it shows in her later books.

I can not recommend Trending Roses to readers. I do highly recommend Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate.
Profile Image for Joleen.
2,656 reviews1,226 followers
January 15, 2020

Wow!

This is most definitely worth 5 stars, and more if I could give it more. Also, I seldom re-read books, but I have no doubt I will go back to this book several times… and perhaps someday, God willing, sit down with my granddaughter when she’s old enough and read it to her. Such a beautiful work this book is. I really love all of Ms. Wingate’s novels, but I think this is my favorite.

As I was reading I kept wondering if Ms. Wingate is a teacher at her church or in home studies. Her ability to teach in stories is breathtaking, truly. And I don’t mean stating facts we all need to learn, but writing stories within a book from which we find gold. Oh, and golden it all is! Such lessons all parents should be blessed by. Such riches families can hold dear to their hearts.

Okay, enough blathering. Story:

Nearly ninety, Grandma Rose is hoping her whole family will come back to the farm for Christmas. What she doesn’t know is their reason for assembling this year will be to have her sent to a “home” and sell her farm. After suffering a stroke and unintentionally starting a small fire, they think this will be the best and safest plan for her, thinking she just can’t take care of herself anymore.

Kate, Ben and baby Josh are the first to arrive, her being on maternity leave and Ben able to do his work from the internet and on a computer. She is supposed to assess Grandma’s condition and ease her into this new idea for the rest of her life. While there Kate finds a book with pressed flowers on the cover. Time and time again Kate finds this book when she’s alone and reads a new story in it, each time the one before had been removed. Each story is eloquently written; stories about events in Grandma’s past. Each one is moving in some way, either cheerful or painful, but all have a powerful effect on Kate, and each one is relevant to her life at that moment.



The rest of the book is just as engaging. There are family differences stemming from her mother’s sudden death 6 years before… differences straining family relations tighter than comfortable. But two voices of wisdom in the family seem to have a calming effect and, of course, focus on a baby soothes many of the ruffles.

I feel like I can’t give an adequate review without giving too much away, but how I feel about the beauty of this book is enough, I think.

Recommend? Oh yes. In fact, I’d go so far as to say almost everyone should read it. From grandparents, to young working parents, to older parents who wonder where they may have gone wrong. This story sheds light on what’s important, truly important.
Profile Image for Missy.
366 reviews115 followers
November 5, 2020
Who wouldn't want a Grandma Rose, a wise woman who shows you that all you need is right before you, that simplicity is best, and family is everything. Mine was Grandma Cleo, when I had my first child she would call just to make sure I was letting her cry "it develops her lungs", a worrier by nature, and yet always had that wise response you were not expecting with a sly smile when you looked up at her.

This is the story of Kate and her Grandma Rose and how coming back to the family farm started to heal those tense family feelings, and finding out in the end they may not have been what was once believed. In Grandma's last months Kate, her husband Ben, and infant son come to live with Grandma weeks before Christmas, the Christmas every gets together for the first time in 6 years, the Christmas everyone comes to tell Grandma she needs to go to an assisted living home, that she can't live by herself. But it is the stories Grandma leaves for Kate that shows her that life doesn't have to be the way everyone thinks, that it can be how you make it, and to take time to marvel in the little things because they aren't always going to be there.

I felt myself in this book so many times, wishing my Grandma was here to guide my family through the rough patch we are in now, to show us that life is short, but family is forever. Highly enjoyed the book and cannot wait to read the rest of the series.
Profile Image for Theresa.
363 reviews
March 6, 2013
This is a book I like to read every few years. So far I have read it three times and I still am not tired of it!

I especially enjoy Grandma Rose's character. She is real; down-to-earth, not merely a 'fluffy do-gooder Grandma' type, but also able to offer stability and advice to her granddaughter, Kate.

The author does not gloss over Grandma Rose's faults but because they are so realistic (for example, the piles of clutter in her home that she defensively pretends to be 'normal' and does not want her family to notice), endear her to the reader all the more.

In a society that more and more devalues the elderly and commitment within marriage, this book has been a refreshing read.

A book that emphasizes the importance of family, relationships, and working through differences, presented in a good story setting.
Profile Image for Jessica.
851 reviews26 followers
July 16, 2008
Okay, this book was a little insulting. If she'd wanted to write a self-help/essay on why people should be less materialistic, moms should stay home with their kids, people should forgive and forget (things I totally agree with, by the way), I wish she'd just written the essay/sermon, instead of pretending she was writing a story. Every character was unoriginal, every plot was predictable and most of the dialogue was so contrived. The only reason it's getting 2 stars is because it isn't trashy.
Profile Image for Jerry (Rebel With a Massive Media Library).
4,895 reviews87 followers
February 6, 2019
Emotionally charged and gripping.

That's how I'd describe this book.

Sort of like a dramatic Hallmark telefilm, this sweet story tells of familial discord and hard times...but reconciliation and triumph over dire circumstances as well.

I'm glad my book club on Goodreads recommended this; I likely wouldn't have read it or even discovered it otherwise.

Also: Sometimes, Christian authors can betray their faith when writing mainstream books; not so here. The only thing that even comes close to offensive is a half-spoken quasi-profanity.
Profile Image for Becca.
80 reviews1 follower
February 14, 2008
I love this book! This is the first book in a series of 3 (At least I think it's the first...). They are connected in an interesting way. The characters waltz in and out of each story, but each book has a different main character. The other books are Language of the Sycamore and Drenched in Light. I read them in the order listed. Lisa Wingate also wrote Good Hope Road which has some of the same characters, but I don't know if it was meant to be part of the series.
Profile Image for Joey Liu.
226 reviews4 followers
March 29, 2023
Oh man, while I normally love Lisa Wingate, this was a drag to get through.

I understand the meaning behind it, to slow down and not focus so much on the future and take the time to appreciate your kids while they are still young. Great message, but how many times do I need to hear it?!

And to be honest, Grandma Rose annoyed the hell out of me. And I didn’t think her stories were all that interesting. And same with Ben, what an asshole of a father!

Maybe I’m in a bad mood, but oh man!

Profile Image for Anna.
844 reviews48 followers
December 29, 2018
This was a wonderful book. I put it on my life-changers shelf. Lisa Wingate's books tend to end up there - she is not just a storyteller; she writes about things that make a difference. In this novel, she helps bring a fragmented family together. Grandma Rose is all alone on the old family farm; her health is failing and the family needs to decide how to tell her that she needs to be moved to a nursing home and give up the farm. Granddaughter Katie is the one selected to go early (she has a new baby and is on maternity leave from work) and sort of break it gently to grandma. But instead, she begins to listen and understand Grandma Rose and the wisdom about life that the older woman has to impart. Not only is Katie's life changed, but her fragmented family is brought back together, and the legacy will continue. This is a great book, and I highly recommend it!
Profile Image for Brandy.
307 reviews22 followers
April 23, 2008
Some people may say that this book is on the boring side. I personally loved it. It is about a young lady who goes to stay with her aging grandmother. They don't have the best relationship. Not your typical grandmother/granddaughter relationship. I don't want to give away the ending, but I will say that I loved it because I read it shortly after my grandmother passed away and I didn't have the greatest relationship with her either. The book didn't make me have any regrets but it did create alot of emotions that were good to work out. Even if you didn't have a relationship like the one in this book with your grandmother, I think it is a worthwhile read and would recommend it to anyone looking for another good read.
Profile Image for Jenny Bates.
316 reviews14 followers
January 22, 2010
Okay, I am going to say outright that I did not read this whole book. I skimmed it. I know the general gist of it... I did open random pages throughout the book and read a couple of pages at a time. But I just could not bring myself to waste my time with the whole book. It was silly. I did not care for it at all. I get it... we, as a generation care too much about things. We should be staying home with our kids instead of working so we can have luxuries. I already believe this. Lesson was not needed. So, I close the chapter of my life that included this book... it was more like a sentence, rather than a chapter. No, I would not even dedicate an entire sentence. I will talk about it at book group briefly, and then I will forget it forever.
Profile Image for Amber.
30 reviews77 followers
February 1, 2022
I really enjoyed this story about an elderly grandmother and her granddaughter getting to know each other . The grandmother would write stories in a small book abut her life's lessons that she would leave around the house for the granddaughter to read, so that the granddaughter slowly starts to understand why her grandmother behaves the way she does. My favorite quote was from Grandma Rose she said "The secret to a happy life is not in getting what you want. It is learning to want what you get. Don't waste your time crying over what you're not given. When you have tears in your eyes, you can't see all the beautiful things around you."
Profile Image for Susan Peterson.
1,996 reviews381 followers
May 26, 2018
There is so much to love about this book! Tending Roses is a story about family and forgiveness, a heartfelt tale about finding happiness and contentment. There is so much wisdom and love within its pages. Grandma Rose is such a wonderful, memorable character, sometimes cranky, but always loving and wise. I became emotionally invested in all of the characters; a family torn apart by secrets, jealousy, and hurt feelings; a family who needs to find a way to come back together for all of their sakes.
Profile Image for Glenda.
955 reviews85 followers
December 12, 2012
Kate Bowman returns to her family's ancestral home after being delagated by her family to convince her grandmother to move to a nursing home. Kate and her husband Ben are also dealing with the demands of caring for their recently arrived first baby Josh, who underwent heart surgery soon after he was born. Although medical bills are pressuring them, she's torn about going back to her high-powered job, even though she was very good at it, and becoming a stay-at-home mom. We soon realize that the easiest solution isn't the best and that Kate must use her creative skills to come up with a better one. Grandma Rose communicates with Kate via subtle little essays about her life and thoughts in her personal journal at just the right moment.

I totally agree with the messages in this book about the importance of family and building relationships rather than trying to get ahead in the world. However, I felt the message was just a little too contrived and preachy. To me, the author was trying too hard to teach a message and the story was just background rather than having a compelling story that had a message. I also agreed with the pearls of wisdom shared by Grandma Rose, but again I felt like I was being hit over the head with the messages. It kind of soured me on the book. Many people have enjoyed this book and it is a clean, sweet read.
Profile Image for Karin.
1,824 reviews33 followers
April 22, 2019
This novel borrows ideas from stories Lisa Wingate's grandmother told her, and is a novel about family, about having an aging relative with alzheimer's/dementia who can no longer live alone and about a family that has been estranged since the death of Kate's (the protagonist) mother.

Kate and her husband Ben have come to visit her grandmother several weeks ahead of the rest of the family who are coming together for Christmas for the first time in some years (this novel does not end at Christmas) because they need to tell Grandma Rose that she has to move to a home. However, as Kate gets to know her grandmother better and reads stories of Rose's past that Rose leaves for her, she begins to understand why Rose has always run such a tight ship, what the farm means to her and why she has planted the roses outdoors. In addition, she is caring for her son, who is nearly four months old and recovering from heart surgery. As she stays on the farm, she begins to re-evaluate her career, her goals and her marriage.

I liked this better than I originally expected to, which is why the four stars.
6 reviews2 followers
March 30, 2009
this book is about a young couple with a child that goes a spends some time with her grandmother. They want to put the grandmother in a nursery home and this mother is on maternity leave and so she goes and stays with her grandmother until the family can decide what to do. The family hasn't been really close since their mother died 6 years ago. The grandmother leaves a journal in places that her granddaughter can see. At first she thinks that she is snooping and reading the journal but then she looks forward to the times that her grandmother leaves it for her to read. There is so much wisdom that comes from the grandmother. I enjoyed reading it and have done so several times. I have given out to many people and everyone loves it. There are other books that follows in this series that were good and continues the story. Lisa Wingate has another series that I have heard is superb as well. I will get to them soon
Profile Image for Tori.
130 reviews4 followers
July 27, 2024
This was such a wholesome and heartwarming book. Definitely makes you sit and think about making life simple.

"Young parents, hold your children a little longer today. Kiss them when you put them into bed tonight, say their prayers with them, sit by them while they fall asleep. Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands. Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God. Be a person in whom they can have faith. When you are old, nothing else you've done will have mattered as much."

"But now I think, while I was fretting over missing those wonderful big things, I let a lot of good little things pass me by unappreciated."
Profile Image for Charmaine.
455 reviews
June 25, 2019
After giving 4 stars to three previous books by Lisa Wingate, I was really looking forward to this one and I really wanted to like it. However, it was not to be. By the third or fourth chapter, I found myself beginning to really dislike the main characters. I found them to be whiny, complaining, crabby, repetitive, and annoying. This made it very difficult to have any sympathy for them or to care about what was going to happen in their lives. I continued for a few more chapters while becoming more and more disinterested in the characters and more annoyed at the author's use of all of the redundancy (Is it really necessary to have a character restate their "issues" over and over again? The story could have been told in half the time.). The book is riddled with eye-rolling moralizing cliches. (Ok - maybe Grandma has some wisdom, but so much of it was very cliche.). I finally decided that life is too short to spend on a book that is not very well written and is actually bugging me - so I skipped to the last chapter and finished it off. It ended as I expected it would. Sorry, Lisa Wingate, but this one was a real disappointment.
The audiobook narrator was ok. At times her voice became a bit much. But she did a good job of differentiating the characters.
Clean Readers: the chapters of the book that I heard were 100% clean. But I can't speak for the entire book.
Profile Image for Robin.
423 reviews5 followers
January 20, 2018
Since I loved "Before We Were Yours", I tried another book by Lisa Wingate. "Tending Roses" was good, but not special, so I quit reading. It was about taking care of your family, doing right by the members of your family, cooperating with your spouse, and other quality values. Reading about them wasn't bad, and the story was fairly good, it just wasn't outstanding and I decided I'd try to find another book that I like more.
Profile Image for Crystal.
20 reviews
April 8, 2008
As a stay-at-home mom, I LOVED this book! It helps you put things in perspective, remember what's most important, and more fully enjoy every minute of everyday...especially with your children. I will caution you on a bit of swearing in the first few chapters, although it doesn't continue through the book.
Profile Image for Melissa Henderson.
Author 8 books189 followers
May 30, 2018
One of the most beautiful stories I have ever read. The topic touches close to my own experiences. This story is full of love, hard decisions, family history, heartbreak and hope. Excellent story. Bring the tissues. I received a copy of this book from the author and this is my personal honest opinion. No review was required.
Profile Image for Kelley Kimble.
478 reviews7 followers
November 24, 2021
Sweet poignant read, especially for the Holidays. Importance of family and time and aging relatives are center stage. Loved it. ❤️
Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,410 reviews

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