How to eat like a child: And other lessons in not being a grown-up ; based on the book by Delia Ephron

by Delia Ephron, Julia Kahan, John Forster (music)

One act review / 6 to 30 children (10 to 15 is ideal), ages 5 to 15

Area staging; unit set.

This musical romp through the joys and sorrows of being a child is hilarious. Children give 23 lessons in such subjects as how to beg for a dog, how to torture your sister, how to act after being sent to your room and how to laugh hysterically. The pace is fast, the tone subversive and the recognition instant.

"Applause, applause, applause!"-- Steve Allen

"Delightfully clever."-- Hollywood Reporter

"Razzle dazzle staging, Broadway style songs and an imaginative script."-- TV Guide.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Childrens, Plays

66 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1978

About the author

Bestselling author and screenwriter Delia Ephron's most recent novel is Siracusa. Her other novels include The Lion Is In and Hanging Up. She has written humor books for all ages, including How to Eat Like a Child and Do I Have to Say Hello?; and nonfiction, most recently Sister Mother Husband Dog (etc.). Her films include You’ve Got Mail, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Hanging Up (based on her novel), and Michael. Her journalism has appeared in The New York Times, O: The Oprah Magazine, Vogue, and Vanity Fair. Her hit play Love, Loss, and What I Wore (co-written with Nora Ephron) ran for more than two years off-Broadway and has been performed all over the world. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Jenn Forte · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first read this book as a child, I thought at the time it was a hilarious, fun book with lots of "how not to" information in it. It was one of the books I returned to repeatedly because of how much I enjoyed it.

I hadn't seen this book in probably 25 years when it crossed my path again today. I picked it up and began turning pages out of nostalgia and got sucked into reading the entire book all over again! I didn't expect it, but the book is even funnier now that I'm an adult with kids of my own. Instead of the book being a 'how not to' manual, though, the book is now in the 'hilarity because it fits reality' camp. This makes the book amazingly funny and it holds up well even after 30 years!

[Hasadda · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading a review from Goodreads, I ordered this book from the local library. It's very funny and entertaining, but many of the ideas that were found humorous and acceptable in 1977, would not be so today. An example might be of sliding your cat down the railing or making fun of classmates and neighbors. The author's illustrations, especially among the first are so accurate (such as smashing your potatoes down and putting the mashed peas on top without eating it), that it made me chuckle to remember doing it, often as a child, and occasionally as an adult. Now I witness it in the next generations down. Life doesn't change all that much.

Definitely worth the read; just remember that social culture was different when the book was written.

[Judie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t be thrown by the title. This book was written for adults. I first read this book in 1979, soon after it was published. Last week, Delia Ephron spoke in Cleveland about her writing and collaboration at a book festival. She was excellent. I decided to reread the book (and discovered I had two copies). I’m glad I did.
She nailed it. Anyone who has a child, knows a child, or was a child can relate to this very funny book. It begins with eating: “Peas: Mash and flatten into thin sheets on plate. Press the back of the fork into the peas. Hold fork vertically, prongs up, and lick off peas.”
“Animal crackers: Eat each in this order–legs, head, body.”
“Spinach: Divide into little piles. Rearrange into new piles. After five or six maneuvers, sit back and say you are full.”
HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD covers many other areas of life that children experience. “How to Hang Up the Telephone” begins with “Good bye.’
“Bye.”
“Are you still there?”
“Yeah. Why didn’t you hang up?”
And continues from there.
Among other areas, it meanders into school, playing, prank telephone calls, sibling rivalry, birthday parties, waiting, riding in a car, and “How to Act after Being Sent to Your Room.”
No matter how unique we feel each of us is, HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD shows us we have a great deal in common. By the time I finished reading, I was ready to investigate my house to see where the recorders were hidden.
The book can be read in less than two hours. The memories will last much longer.

[Jeni · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book should have been entitled ‘How to be an Obnoxious Child’. Delia Ehpron is a very good observer, but I didn’t think it was particularly humorous. All of the stories describe bad behaviors. This might make a good book for new parents so they won’t be shocked at some of the current children behaviors.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the illustrations are to be desired, my stomach hurt so bad after reading this that I have to recommend it. It's so true it's creepy.

[Kate O'Neill · Rating 1 out of 5]

It really, REALLY was not for me. It was one of the few books in my life I've ever returned for a refund on the basis that it was such a terrible product. That said, there are obviously quite a lot of five star reviews of this book, so, y'know, there's a lid for every pot. No doubt there is writing talent at work here, and no doubt illustration talent. But the aesthetic of each actually repelled me.

[Kest Schwartzman · Rating 1 out of 5]

both boring AND obnoxious! Remarkable.

[Lorraine Sulick-Morecraft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, Ephron put into words all the funny things we thought of as children.

[Joanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book might have been relevant in 1977 but it is no longer. There are some funny bits, but not enough to spend time with this book. Choose a later book by this author.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A truly nostalgic hit from my youth. Love it.

[Taran C · Rating 5 out of 5]

As good as I remember.

Just as good as when it first came out. The illustrations are perfect. The writing is so funny, though some NSFW language...

[Michelle]

A cute little book. I actually remember doing some of these things and some other things my kids did. Funny,

[Pattim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is SO funny... brings back memories of my childhood and makes me realize things have not changed!!!

[Joanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, although dated. Picked it up as a companion piece to Left on Tenth Delia’s latest book which I’m also currently reading.

[Jim · Rating 2 out of 5]

A gimmick that quickly grows tedious, and not helped by the scrawls of Edward Koren, whose popularlity has always eluded me

[Jody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute and funny book.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

My parents kept this book on the shelf, & I discovered it when I was in high school. I also estimated on the date I read it, since I know I read it more than once. I even shared it with one of my teachers in high school, who read the book out loud to the class for some comic relief from our "serious" studies.

I first thought, because of the title, that it was actually a how-to manual, literally about eating. To my surprise, it's actually about many "typical" situations that arise during childhood, & it describes what most kids usually do in those situations (& what most adults vividly remember they did in those situations!). It describes the "universal nature" of kids in a how-to manual style, but somehow that makes it funnier!

How did such things become so nearly "universal" of kids (& people of all ages) in general? Things like:

"I'm not inviting you to my birthday party!"
"Are we there yet?"
"How much longer?"
"I hafta go to the bathroom!"
"He/She started it!"
"Why are you hitting yourself?"
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"I can't sleep without a nightlight...Can I get a drink of water?"
"There's a monster under my bed."
"But I don't wanna go to school."
"When I grow up, I wanna..."
"Mommy/Daddy, I'm bored..."

Reminiscing on the "checklist" of things you did & said as a kid, & comparing that to what kids do & say today--that's universally funny! I don't know exactly how, but it just is!

[Phyllis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book got me through a hospital stay in 4th grade! I can't say enough good things about it because of that. I read it and re-read it between diagnostic tests, IVs, GI intubations, and after surgery. It was funny without being too gross. I see it's been made into a musical! Shows how behind-the-times I am. Anyway, thanks to Ephron and Koren for making this book.

[Mrsgaskell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This little book was a fun and nostalgic read that brought smiles to my face and made me chuckle more than once. I reconnected with the child from my past who used to pour ketchup into her mashed potatoes and stir until they turned pink :) This was a lovely little day-brightener from a fellow bookcrosser.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have an original edition from 1978 and have shared it with my 3 children (23,20,16) as soon as they reached an appropriate age. I remember using a passage for a college speech class as well. This is one of my all time favorites and I reach for it it every now and then when I need a quick chuckle.

[Shazza Maddog · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have my very own copy of this book. I had been looking for it for literally decades, and I found a copy, and snatched it up and ran off laughing gleefully.

This is what you read when you have siblings. And you point and laugh, because you recognize yourself. Or your sibling. Absolutely. Perfectly.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. Growing up, my parents owned this and I used to read it as a kid and crack up. So I just got it for my birthday and am reading it again for the first time in at least 15 years - As an adult, I think the book is even better! I love the illustrations.

[Kyla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a kids book, despite appearances, but a straight into the head of kids books. All the little things like making crank phone calls and artfully bugging your sister are here, just as you remember them. Diverting.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this on vacation a couple of months ago. Very funny, not exactly a kids' book. More like a grown-up's version of a kid's life...

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where I learned the F-word... Good times!

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Re-reading this one now as an adult I realize that I liked it more when I was a child! Still fun to read again, though!

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

My brother in law Greg gave me this book and I love love love it! It kind of changed my life.....

[My Bookish Delights · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book as a young girl and I've loved it ever since! It is hilarious, especially if you love dry humor!

[Avery · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly true, funny, but some bad words...... :(

[Kristen]

I've never read this one, but was in the play in community theater as a child and loved it! Didn't realize it was Delia Ephron who wrote it, but now I can't wait to read it!!