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It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity
A picture book that introduces the concept of gender identity to the youngest reader from writer Theresa Thorn and illustrator Noah Grigni.
Some people are boys. Some people are girls. Some people are both, neither, or somewhere in between.
This sweet, straightforward exploration of gender identity will give children a fuller understanding of themselves and others. With child-friendly language and vibrant art, It Feels Good to Be Yourself provides young readers and parents alike with the vocabulary to discuss this important topic with sensitivity.
Some people are boys. Some people are girls. Some people are both, neither, or somewhere in between.
This sweet, straightforward exploration of gender identity will give children a fuller understanding of themselves and others. With child-friendly language and vibrant art, It Feels Good to Be Yourself provides young readers and parents alike with the vocabulary to discuss this important topic with sensitivity.
40 pages, Hardcover
First published June 4, 2019
20 people are currently reading
1752 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 500 reviews
August 2, 2019
This book introduces the concept of gender identity to children, explaining the typical terminology that children will encounter in today's society, but despite its good intentions, gentle approach, and message of acceptance, it's likely to confuse more kids than it consoles. This book provides no real explanation or context for what gender means, why it is significant to people, or why anyone would feel a need to identify as something other than their sex at birth. The weirdest thing about this book is how it's like, "Rosie's parents thought she was a girl, but she's actually a boy," without explaining what either of those words mean or why these concepts are significant in society. Even if you firmly believe that gender is an imaginary concept without real implications for life, you still have to explain to children what the words "boy" and "girl" have always meant, and why they are such strong identifiers that someone would find it important to reject their initial label.
If one page had said, "George identifies as a sunflower," this would have been consistent with the whole approach. This book throws around gender terminology without grounding it in any meaning or context, and I can imagine a child reading this and thinking, "Oh, I'm going to be a boy today!" without having any idea what it actually means to be gender-nonconforming. Worse, the book never addresses the issue of stereotypes. I don't wear makeup, paint my nails, wear fashionable clothes, or own a closet full of shoes, but that does not diminish the degree to which I am a girl. Because this book completely neglects to mention that many people are happy with their gender identities from birth while still pursuing interests and self-expression outside of socially prescribed stereotypes, it's going to confuse a lot of kids, causing them to question their gender identity when they really just need the message that girls can play with trucks too, or that boys can take ballet.
Because this book provides no rationale or explanation for why someone would reject their original gender identification, it throws around adult language and concepts in a way that a child is unlikely to understand without intensive parental guidance or existing life experiences with gender-nonconforming family members or friends. The back of this book provides additional information, terminology, and talking points for parents to explore, but even there, the author never models how to define gender itself, or how to encourage children to see past meaningless stereotypes without assuming that they are transgender. This book is woefully inadequate, and I'm glad that it didn't exist to confuse me when I was a child. I spent enough time struggling to figure out my identity without people telling me that I must be a boy.
If one page had said, "George identifies as a sunflower," this would have been consistent with the whole approach. This book throws around gender terminology without grounding it in any meaning or context, and I can imagine a child reading this and thinking, "Oh, I'm going to be a boy today!" without having any idea what it actually means to be gender-nonconforming. Worse, the book never addresses the issue of stereotypes. I don't wear makeup, paint my nails, wear fashionable clothes, or own a closet full of shoes, but that does not diminish the degree to which I am a girl. Because this book completely neglects to mention that many people are happy with their gender identities from birth while still pursuing interests and self-expression outside of socially prescribed stereotypes, it's going to confuse a lot of kids, causing them to question their gender identity when they really just need the message that girls can play with trucks too, or that boys can take ballet.
Because this book provides no rationale or explanation for why someone would reject their original gender identification, it throws around adult language and concepts in a way that a child is unlikely to understand without intensive parental guidance or existing life experiences with gender-nonconforming family members or friends. The back of this book provides additional information, terminology, and talking points for parents to explore, but even there, the author never models how to define gender itself, or how to encourage children to see past meaningless stereotypes without assuming that they are transgender. This book is woefully inadequate, and I'm glad that it didn't exist to confuse me when I was a child. I spent enough time struggling to figure out my identity without people telling me that I must be a boy.
August 1, 2019
So cute! A great introduction to gender for young kids. I loved the artwork, which is done by a non-binary illustrator (and the words are written by the parent of a trans child). It includes two non-binary characters: ones who feels like both a boy and a girl, and one who doesn't feel like either. Very simple, clear, and gentle, with adorable illustrations showing a variety of characters with different gender expressions. Also includes a list of resources in the back.
March 26, 2019
This is going to be on every banned and challenged list out there. Seems accessible to kids and could help parents. Extra material at the end for parental use.
It won't change your mind on the subject, but might give you a language to use
It won't change your mind on the subject, but might give you a language to use
August 25, 2020
This dangerous little book feeds children laughably false information and will leave them confused. For instance, it displays adults standing about, hands on chin, looking puzzled, unable to decide what the sex of a new baby is, BECAUSE the baby is unable to tell them, so it says they make a guess. If we had to wait for babies to talk before understanding such basic, fundamental human biology as the sex of a baby, medicine and surgery would be a pretty haphazard affair. In reality even advocates of this irrational “gender theory” concede that adults are right at least 99.9% of the time, thanks a lot for asking. [The remaining 0.1% is readily discussed without reference to this nonsense.] Nobody is standing around confused in the way illustrated in this book.
What children feel may be a moot question, but how they articulate their feelings is in the language and categories adults teach them. This dangerously stupid and misleading book sets out to teach children to think and speak in confused terms about their feelings and it advocates the bizarre possibility that they [or their school friends] may actually be born into the wrong body, a mad, almost medieval proposal that any sane parent would not wish to be promoting to children as young as four.
The harm arising from this nonsense is very tangible. It appeals especially to children with mental health problems that make them vulnerable and open to persuasion. It is associated with movements to deprive girls of safe spaces, especially single sex school toilets and changing rooms. It undermines parental choice in caring for their children and their ability to refuse experimental and unsafe medical interventions. These are concerns that bring together feminists to the left of the political spectrum with religious believers to the right in a shared concern and growing anger at the failure to protect children from manipulation and abuse.
These objections are sometimes associated with bigotry around alternative sexualities, but that is a distraction, because many gay and lesbian voices are no less outraged at this form of gender theory. Indeed, some see it as promoting forms of conversion therapy (which is formally the case in Iran of course). Gay and lesbian people are not at all confused about what sex they are.
Why do people produce such misleading literature for such young children? There is a lot of money behind it and that has to be understood before this can make sense. They are looking for recruits to their own disturbed and unhealthy belief system, and they are feeding into and often funded by an unethical, weakly regulated market for drugs and surgery worth enormous sums of money. There are other strands to a largely unscientific, unethical and harmful ideology. Perhaps the most insidious is the misleading appeal that we learn to be kind to people who are different, an appeal to our good nature that works to disarm our critical faculties; seeking out the truth and opposing a harmful ideology does not entail being unkind or intolerant to its victims. This is a dangerous movement and it is time it was stopped.
What children feel may be a moot question, but how they articulate their feelings is in the language and categories adults teach them. This dangerously stupid and misleading book sets out to teach children to think and speak in confused terms about their feelings and it advocates the bizarre possibility that they [or their school friends] may actually be born into the wrong body, a mad, almost medieval proposal that any sane parent would not wish to be promoting to children as young as four.
The harm arising from this nonsense is very tangible. It appeals especially to children with mental health problems that make them vulnerable and open to persuasion. It is associated with movements to deprive girls of safe spaces, especially single sex school toilets and changing rooms. It undermines parental choice in caring for their children and their ability to refuse experimental and unsafe medical interventions. These are concerns that bring together feminists to the left of the political spectrum with religious believers to the right in a shared concern and growing anger at the failure to protect children from manipulation and abuse.
These objections are sometimes associated with bigotry around alternative sexualities, but that is a distraction, because many gay and lesbian voices are no less outraged at this form of gender theory. Indeed, some see it as promoting forms of conversion therapy (which is formally the case in Iran of course). Gay and lesbian people are not at all confused about what sex they are.
Why do people produce such misleading literature for such young children? There is a lot of money behind it and that has to be understood before this can make sense. They are looking for recruits to their own disturbed and unhealthy belief system, and they are feeding into and often funded by an unethical, weakly regulated market for drugs and surgery worth enormous sums of money. There are other strands to a largely unscientific, unethical and harmful ideology. Perhaps the most insidious is the misleading appeal that we learn to be kind to people who are different, an appeal to our good nature that works to disarm our critical faculties; seeking out the truth and opposing a harmful ideology does not entail being unkind or intolerant to its victims. This is a dangerous movement and it is time it was stopped.
November 20, 2019
This is a dangerous book for our children. As an elementary teacher I've seen kids struggling enough with the divide between reality and fiction that this book will just confuse children and give them adult language far before they are ready to hear it.
I had a 4th grader that firmly believed that she was a cat, a few boys (2nd grade) who thought they were robots and all of them just trying to figure out who they are in the world, within themselves, and in relation to others. Children should be allowed to be children without their gender being questioned (or encouraged to change) for liking pink, or football, or "boy things" or "girl things."
This book says that the people present at a child's birth "make a guess" about what the child's gender is. That disregards millennia of what it has meant to be human, and suggests that gender is solely a construct of the mind and has nothing to do with bodily anatomy. It would be much less confusing, and more accurate, if it actually said that you were assigned boy at birth because traditionally boys have a penis and girls do not. This would more concretely explain gender constructs without making it feel like the adults in their lives have no idea what they are talking about.
I had a 4th grader that firmly believed that she was a cat, a few boys (2nd grade) who thought they were robots and all of them just trying to figure out who they are in the world, within themselves, and in relation to others. Children should be allowed to be children without their gender being questioned (or encouraged to change) for liking pink, or football, or "boy things" or "girl things."
This book says that the people present at a child's birth "make a guess" about what the child's gender is. That disregards millennia of what it has meant to be human, and suggests that gender is solely a construct of the mind and has nothing to do with bodily anatomy. It would be much less confusing, and more accurate, if it actually said that you were assigned boy at birth because traditionally boys have a penis and girls do not. This would more concretely explain gender constructs without making it feel like the adults in their lives have no idea what they are talking about.
April 17, 2024
This is such a great picture book about gender! Four kids, one trans, one cis, and two nonbinary, are introduced as a way to explain different gender identities. I love the bright and detailed illustrations with lots of fin kid life details. Not too pedantic, but also introduces new concepts. One page is a bit repetitive, but that's my only complaint.
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March 10, 2021God bless this book.
It's a little teachy, but the illustrations are colorful, and the text is fairly simple.
It introduces kids to concepts around gender identity, and here's the part where I was all, "God bless this book":
It's a little teachy, but the illustrations are colorful, and the text is fairly simple.
It introduces kids to concepts around gender identity, and here's the part where I was all, "God bless this book":
See, when you were born, you couldn't tell people who you were or how you felt. They looked at you and made a guess. Maybe they got it right, maybe they got it wrong.
What a baby's body looks like when they're born can be a clue to what the baby's gender will be, but not always.
When people guess wrong, it's okay to let them know. Ruthie was five when she told her parents.
[speech bubble: "I know you think I'm a boy but really I feel like a girl."]
Oops! Ruthie was a girl all along--they just didn't know it at first.
When people guess right, it's also okay to let them know.
Xavier was three and a half when he told his family.
[speech bubble: "I'm a boy! I like being a boy!"]
You might feel like a boy. You might feel like a girl. You might feel like both boy and girl--or like neither. You might feel like your gender changes from day to day or year to year.
You might feel that none of these words describes you perfectly.
You might not be sure yet. Maybe you're still figuring it out.
Your feelings about your gender are real. Listen to your heart.
No matter what your gender identity is, you are okay exactly the way you are. And you are loved.
It feels good to be YOURSELF, doesn't it?
June 4, 2019
Another great new book to help start conversations about gender identity for kids who are asking questions and adults who are supposed to know the answers. This is a wonderful way for everyone to learn a complicated but necessary subject.
September 29, 2019
This review was originally written for The Baby Bookworm. Visit us for new picture books reviews daily!
Hello, friends – we’re back! And with a book that’s perfect for our first Pride Month review: It Feels Good To Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity, written by Theresa Thorn and illustrated by Noah Grigni.
Meet Ruthie. She is a transgender girl; when she was little, everyone thought she was a boy, but when she was old enough to speak for herself, she let everyone know the truth. Her brother Xavier is a cisgender boy; when he was little, everyone thought he was a boy, and they were right! They also have friends like Alex – who is both a boy and a girl – and JJ, who doesn’t feel like either. Alex and JJ are non-binary, and just like there are lots of ways to be a boy or a girl, there are lots of ways to be non-binary as well! No matter what gender someone identifies as, the most important thing is that they are loved, supported, and free to be themselves – doesn’t it feel good to be yourself?
LOVE. Taking a concept that is often overwrought or misconstrued and simplifying it down to its core elements, this child-friendly look at the spectrum of gender covers a lot of ground without ever feeling overwhelming or confusing. Especially wonderful is the way the illustrations explore further elements, such as diversity, intersectionality and non-gendered clothing and play, giving kids and parents even more avenues to discuss all the wonderful ways we can be different. The text can feel a little repetitive in areas, but it’s not out of place with such important and complex topic, and the ultimate lesson is about loving yourself and feeling free to express who you are in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. JJ especially enjoyed the rich colors of the art (and that she shared a name with one of the characters). The length was great, the wealth of backmatter encourages further education, and we loved it. A great way to explore questions about gender as a family, and it’s Baby Bookworm approved!
(Note: A copy of this book was provided to The Baby Bookworm by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
Be sure to check out The Baby Bookworm for more reviews!
September 25, 2019
Age: Kindergarten-3rd grade
Identity: Nonbinary Transgender illustrator
A simplified, straight-forward approach to explaining gender identity to the little ones. Via fictionalized children, Thorn presents transgender, cisgendered, non-binary, gender-fluid, and gender identities that cannot be captured in words. There is a lot of information to digest but Thorn is reassuring, repetitive, and connects with the audience through your/you pronouns.
Although the societal process of mis-gendering is complex and tangled, Thorn simplifies it for children by saying:
As adults, history and research and our own experience have revealed the complexity of gender identity, but Thorn normalizes it for modern-day children. Children are invited to examine their own gender identity as easily as they examine their favorite color or food. A great step forward for a new generation of introspective, self-loving, open-minded people.
Identity: Nonbinary Transgender illustrator
A simplified, straight-forward approach to explaining gender identity to the little ones. Via fictionalized children, Thorn presents transgender, cisgendered, non-binary, gender-fluid, and gender identities that cannot be captured in words. There is a lot of information to digest but Thorn is reassuring, repetitive, and connects with the audience through your/you pronouns.
Although the societal process of mis-gendering is complex and tangled, Thorn simplifies it for children by saying:
"When you were born, you couldn't tell people who you were or how you felt. They looked at you and made a guess. Maybe they got it right, maybe they got it wrong."
As adults, history and research and our own experience have revealed the complexity of gender identity, but Thorn normalizes it for modern-day children. Children are invited to examine their own gender identity as easily as they examine their favorite color or food. A great step forward for a new generation of introspective, self-loving, open-minded people.
June 30, 2020
For me this was a 5 star book on the art, 2.5 on the text. I'm glad this book exists, and I do think it's a good resource- I'm just not sure how engaging a child would find it, because it's not a story, it's a set of explanations of terms. But, still a good book for a first grade classroom!
June 19, 2019
📣 The more words kids hear, the more words kids know! 📣
Clear, readable, kid-friendly, gorgeous -- basically everything I could want for this book! I think one of the easiest selling points is actually the title because it's such a perfect statement that encapsulates so many parts of identity. For children it truly is a matter of the more words they hear the more words they know. Noah Grigni, the illustrator, mentions in their note at the end that they grew up without access to words like transgender. It's not like hearing those words makes you trans, just like reading books with queer representation doesn't turn you gay (if only!); but for those kids who feel isolated and unseen because something inside them doesn't quite fit it can open up an entirely new world. Even for cisgender kids, knowing the world is wider than their perspective is so important!
I will definitely recommend this to my friends with kids, frequently put it on display at my library, recommend it whenever possible, and read it aloud as often as I can. This is a strong addition to the ever-growing (yay!) world of picture books about gender identity.
Clear, readable, kid-friendly, gorgeous -- basically everything I could want for this book! I think one of the easiest selling points is actually the title because it's such a perfect statement that encapsulates so many parts of identity. For children it truly is a matter of the more words they hear the more words they know. Noah Grigni, the illustrator, mentions in their note at the end that they grew up without access to words like transgender. It's not like hearing those words makes you trans, just like reading books with queer representation doesn't turn you gay (if only!); but for those kids who feel isolated and unseen because something inside them doesn't quite fit it can open up an entirely new world. Even for cisgender kids, knowing the world is wider than their perspective is so important!
I will definitely recommend this to my friends with kids, frequently put it on display at my library, recommend it whenever possible, and read it aloud as often as I can. This is a strong addition to the ever-growing (yay!) world of picture books about gender identity.
May 18, 2019
No, YOU'RE crying 😭
This picture book belongs in every school and library: it is not just essential for those with gender nonconforming children in their lives, it is also a critical tool for discussing issues of gender identity and expression in a way that is empathetic, respectful, and affirming. Noah Grigni’s colorful illustrations are beautiful, inclusive, and representative of the diversity in the queer community.
This picture book belongs in every school and library: it is not just essential for those with gender nonconforming children in their lives, it is also a critical tool for discussing issues of gender identity and expression in a way that is empathetic, respectful, and affirming. Noah Grigni’s colorful illustrations are beautiful, inclusive, and representative of the diversity in the queer community.
June 27, 2019
Heck yes.
That's it, that's the review.
Okay, a little more - love the illustrations and love the simple explanations that will hopefully give people a better idea of language surrounding gender and gender identity.
That's it, that's the review.
Okay, a little more - love the illustrations and love the simple explanations that will hopefully give people a better idea of language surrounding gender and gender identity.
November 23, 2019
I am obsessed, I repeat OBSESSED, with these illustrations! Truly stunning!
March 25, 2021
As an adult I found this to be very unclear and confusing. What does it mean to feel like a girl? What does it mean to feel like a boy? Perhaps this is too complex of a concept to explain in a picture book?
December 22, 2020
Loved every word <3
March 25, 2021
This book is really dangerous. The author has become so obsessed with not hurting anyone's feelings, that she's willing to twist reality as she pleases.
July 22, 2021
This is just child abuse. Do not read this nonsense to your child! News Flash: Feelings are not synonymous with reality! Parents must lead their children, in love and wisdom, to be their best selves in their God-given biological gender.
May 24, 2019
I ADORE this book. Simple and easy for anyone to understand gender equality. Love the illustrations.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
June 7, 2019
A bit repetitive, but this is absolutely needed in public and school libraries whether people agree with it or not. I think it's VERY well done and inclusive of all gender identities.
September 26, 2019
Something that seems to be so hard for adults to grasp, made super clear and easy to understand. IN A KIDS PICTURE BOOK! 5 stars. I recommend this for ages 3 to 100.
October 31, 2019
REALLY liked this
November 27, 2022
Brb!
... ps det er en god julegave til folket ;)
... ps det er en god julegave til folket ;)
June 28, 2019
It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity is a children's picture book written by Theresa Thorn and illustrated by Noah Grigni, which introduces the concept of gender identity to young readers.
June, at least in my part of the world is LGBTQ Pride Month, which I plan to read one children's book, which pertains to the subject everyday this month. Therefore, I thought that this book would be apropos for today.
Thorn's text is rather simplistic, straightforward, and informative. The narrative offers an inclusive primer about gender that integrates vocabulary words and definitions into the texts that is so simplistic that the target audience could understand. Grigni's illustrations feature gender-expansive individuals going to school, making art, and spending time with family – normalizing everything. It is a blend of jewel-toned shapes with textured lines reminiscent of block prints.
The premise of the book is rather straightforward. Through beautiful illustrations and simplistic text, this children book defines the multi-faceted concept of gender identity, which goes beyond boys and girls, but to some people who are both, neither, and in-between.
All in all, It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity is a wonderful children's book about the concept of gender identity told in a sweet and child friendly manner.
June, at least in my part of the world is LGBTQ Pride Month, which I plan to read one children's book, which pertains to the subject everyday this month. Therefore, I thought that this book would be apropos for today.
Thorn's text is rather simplistic, straightforward, and informative. The narrative offers an inclusive primer about gender that integrates vocabulary words and definitions into the texts that is so simplistic that the target audience could understand. Grigni's illustrations feature gender-expansive individuals going to school, making art, and spending time with family – normalizing everything. It is a blend of jewel-toned shapes with textured lines reminiscent of block prints.
The premise of the book is rather straightforward. Through beautiful illustrations and simplistic text, this children book defines the multi-faceted concept of gender identity, which goes beyond boys and girls, but to some people who are both, neither, and in-between.
All in all, It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity is a wonderful children's book about the concept of gender identity told in a sweet and child friendly manner.
October 19, 2018
An informative book, rather than a story, explaining the concept of gender in a way that is straightforward and easy for children to grasp. This book not only has a pretty color palette, but can help children to understand their peers that may differ from them-- especially at an age a person begins to form an identity. Not only that, but this will help kids to understand themselves as well, if they feel different from those around them. It is of utmost importance we encourage children to find their place in the world-- this book has the power to change a child's life for the better.
June 23, 2019
Read this for Mock Caldecott voting. Nicely illustrated. I think this is a great book for those members of society who want to be sure their children grow up with every option open and available to them. As a 70 year old woman, it's hard for me to believe that this situation arises as frequently as this book may imply. On the other hand, i believe that every person has the right to be who they really are and identify themselves that way without fear of harassment or exclusion.
July 5, 2019
An elegant and gorgeously illustrated book about gender identity for young readers and their families! This book simultaneously manages to be concise and expansive, favoring an approach that recognizes the truly diverse forms gender can take ("more than could fit in one book") instead of attempting to pin down or define different gender identities too strictly.
June 13, 2019
Really loved the joyful simplicity of this one, especially the soothing and celebrational repetition of the expansive phrase, "too many to fit in a book!" Noah Grigni's illustrations are FANTASTIC and I hope this is only the first of many more books they illustrate!
June 25, 2019
Very matter-of-fact. Will people freak out if I get for my libraries? Not sure. Also not sure if I have any students who need it currently ... but in the past 8 years, there were definitely 2 that it would have maybe helped.
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